« The Joe Rogan Experience

#732 - Whitney Cummings

2015-12-08 | 🔗
Whitney Cummings is a stand up comedian and actress. She is best known as the creator and star of the NBC sitcom Whitney, as well as the co-creator of the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls. Her new special "I'm Your Girlfriend" debuts January 23, 2016 on HBO.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
oh hello friends if this sounds odd because uh i'm in my pool room meaning i have a table in my house with pool table in it and that's where i am forgiveness 'cause i had to run out of the studio before i was done i could do the ads and what i got going on uh huh is this friday december 11th going to be caught theater at the mgm with the great joey diaz and then on the 18th december 18th i'm at the bob carr theater in orlando florida bob carr performing arts center orlando fl on the 18th with ian edwards jam what's going on with my throat other dates are all available at joerogan dot net
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dunnan her comedy is fucking hilarious she has a new hbo special that's coming out it's about january it's called i'm your girlfriend and she came on to promote it and hang out and talk to us so without further ado please welcome the great whitney cummings rogan experience join my day joe rogan podcast by name all day you're alive hey what's up how are you i'm good i'm i'm insecure i'm very insecure i'm very i want you to like maine but you know already like you know you're green you're very hard to read shut up yes when you're sober you're hard to read when i'm sober you want to get high when i'm high hard to read sober me reader to read or at least you just like people more i like everybody here's the thing about you that you don't know about with our relationship when i easy when i
no you did his arch your back there when i started doing stand up you were like this very mythical hero at the comedy store i came into the comedy store when you and carlos had your big saga oh so you had just like your exodus you're very ceremonious or on ceremonies rather exodus in the comedy store is happening i never really met you but you were like this deity at the comedy store i didn't know that it wasn't there you are there going there for so i never really knew you like i feel like so many other comedians that i admire and lee i had some facetime with and you i only sort of started knowing in last year yeah well we met met at the laugh factory true but i had seen
a bunch of times and i'd like to you again but we had never vibed whenever till we have since then that's true but i'm just saying how could you still because i have nine years of you being this sort of very elusive bigfoot oh like i never quite knew if you really existed it's weird when people have a perceptions of you outside of you and you like it's weird when you meet someone how perception then you like oh i like them yeah i didn't think i did yeah that happens well i think a lot of it is it becomes a roshak test right if it comes like my projections on to you and my insecurities like if i see you and you don't give me what i need to feel secure i'm like he hates he doesn't like me and visit a friend tell me something about a celebrity that they met and they were like yeah i met on when i said hi to him but he's a fucking dick you don't even talk back to me i go okay
you just said hi norm yeah that's it and also needs a deck and you know anything yeah it's like you have this idea of what someone is and then based on a limited air action you create a narrative you know i so that when people this is going to sound like if i can person bloviating about people that wreck but when you get to use that word yeah it's a good where i've never use that in my life is a good word because it does fit sometimes i ramble and i want you to read me and if i start getting boring don didn't stop it and blow beating but when someone comes up to me i'd like the airport is like hi whitney like i instantly sometimes i have to say that i'm like i just feel like i cannot give you what you need right now like what you need from me i can't give you like i can take a picture with you but i can't have a conversation you know where you're going to walk away from this exchange feeling good about this rush she was this she was this you know i get very insecure that i can't deliver what someone needs from a person they know take it with a guy wear now i'll never forget this because i didn't know this guy at all and it
after show you know i say hi to people you know the whole thing take pictures and then he goes hey man um i'm dating this girl and she's about to have a baby what do you think i should do like what i go i don't what am i supposed to tell you have you seen the movie the staircase now or the jinx beijing is is there how you haven't seen the circus the documentary is that when he throws a dumpster well now that two women are found at the bottom of a staircase it's actually it's what people think the jinx s it's was a sundance channel documentary it was like twelve part documentary series it's phenomenally eleven really hard yes twelve part two i don't want to give away too much if you guys have seen it tweet joe of what your it's are on it and let's all convince him to don't dedicate twelve hours of his life 'cause i am fascinated speaking of roshak test i'm fascinated whether you think he's guilty or not 'cause usually it is all whether someone thinks it's guilty or not says more about them than it does about the case really
we project the dim the twelve parts it's a lot of fun from it that's what i said i made the mistake of only downloading one at a time i watched six in my first sitting it's that addictive half hour hour hour i promise you i promise you i will bet you have a lot more money than me so maybe we should do this i will bet you any amount of money that you watch it in two days damn that's not going to happen it made me want to quit writing 'cause i was like i will never be able to write something that's compelling is this true life thing wow phenomenal why would you just be inspired to write could you the fundamental difference between me and you just reared its ugly head i'm a quitter in you're not you're not a quitter that's that's not true but you're a hustler i'ma has yeah people say that a lot and i never know i never know if it's an insult not installed at all in my estimation or mine the way i'm defining
is you're always working you are doing things may be the difference between the similarity between me and you i grew up playing sports and you learn i think a lot of comedians don't you learn the harder you work the better you get and you get that sort of mentality that like what sport i played basketball oh ok last printing lot of running around and just like those we get that yeah you know this ass is pretty new actually i did i see you don't you don't know me six years ago when i when i get in a wreck sick anorexics i was pretty interesting should i use i thought i don't want to but clinically that around but i was like i was like hundred when i was when i was doing the show with her your regress on nbc i was like a zero yeah and i had eating disorders in college i had to stop playing sports was at the
yeah even disorders made you stop playing sports i had to choose so i was really serious about school played a u i played in europe like super cycle about it and then i started modeling just for money not really fan the modeling don't believe wika pedia and i was sort of starving myself for modeling and starving yourself and playing basketball for hours a day don't go well together so i had to about basketball wow so you went with that over food yes huh why'd you do that it was a moral modeling was paying my bills it was the way i was raised was you know your parents was very valued my mom i now realize as an adult and
respect had needing disorder and being fan was very valued in our home the messages i heard were my mom who is very you know skinny was i have to lose five pounds i sold was about at any one time some compliment her should like now i'm at i'm so fat right now like those union that's how i was we don't realize you know the impact those messages out on kids something we just think it's a flippant comment i need to lose five pounds for me like i was like oh she's a size zero but you still need to lose five pounds that's what women are supposed to look like and how they're supposed to you know that dysmorphia was ingrained in me very young and there was of the sort of culture perfectionism where i grew up in my household because i had was not i was neglected to quite a bit and it's in
chaucer reaction for kids to have perfectionism as a result of that so really yeah because you think you know you can't children can't understand that their parents have flaws because it would be you know the just too dramatic to their psyche so we think parents are perfect if i'm not getting attention that must be something wrong with me so i need to work harder be prettier thinner a more success fall achieve more you know which i think is where a lot of you did it to try to get your parents to pay attention to you or head that's when it started is if i'm just perfect i'll get this attention from these people who weren't capable bring it to me and then it sort of started manifesting in other ways as an adult i th i had a very similar thing yeah i was definitely as a child but i think that i sought it out from other people not necessarily for parents yeah well that's what i you know and and similarly which is i think why i had and i'm right and alan on so i'm i'm in
every for this but people pleasing what's al anon al anon is like if you had any kind of alcoholism in your home growing up which it's not necessarily like i did have an alcoholic parents and i have a drug addict sibling but alcoholism you note for alcoholism to be present alcohol doesn't necessarily need to be present so it could still be signified by compulsive behavior call ism a codependent relationship and addictive relationship monger parents gambling sex food all that sort of stuff anything anything what is al anon stand for is actually really good i do aca which is adult child of alcoholics to al anon is more for like if you're married to an alcoholic if you have a kid who's an alcoholic like addiction is a family disease and it effects every so i convenient i know it's alex is such a fucking pain in the ass in that regard it's a very sort of per
just disease because sometimes good word pernicious is a good one very nice because it's we're live i gotta pull out all the stops and we can't fix this imposed is that it sometimes call ism effects the people not drinking the most so i wasn't drinking growing up but i because of another one how in sit this alcoholism is i was acting like an alcoholic i just wasn't drunk thing so i was like eragon developed an ego like i'm the angel everyone else is an ass whole i'm awesome but i was still going to be getting lying managing controlling you know and codependence alcoholics are addicted to alcohol codependence or acted to alcoholics so as a result i'm dating alcoholics i'm dating guys who are illiterate people who need to get rescued saved you
naked guys who are illiterate i dated one guy who couldn't read couldn't really smell what kind of text messages you guys out lots of lots of auto correcting hey are you a basketball later so yes i did go through that i dated of like alcoholics needy people troubled people yeah i have a friend who always date girls that were really really up and down lego has you know thank the honorable men well that's the best one ever did i don't but i did send the man he calls in vampires he had some bad ones that so it's recreating a child circumstance so i was the caretakers a child right now i would put my mom to man i would cook dinner i was always the one fixing things and trying to stop fights because i was you know base my mom as they tell me i was like a mistake i was born you know no one planned me and your mom told you that jesus yeah i wasn't it wasn't uh
how many times are shining moment as a family when i don't send money i get reminded how g money your mom yeah whoa yeah yes soon it gets dark fairy malls chris rock said in the hallway it calmly star when i think you're actually probably there he said when you give money to people it's only a matter of time they start hating you move because then they start resenting you'll for supporting them and sort of robbing them of their own dignity and then if you have any kind of boundaries all of a sudden like i will just because you give me money you think you can talk to me that way and it's like well no i'm i'm just like this to have self respect it's it it seems to me that the people that need money always need money like you and you give the money it's not really helping them and it it's enabling yeah there's some people that just need money i mean i've had friends it just needed some went wrong transmission broke fuck you know that's one thing but this the peep
always need money yeah you can't fix that nope that hole is just they come back you all it turns out we were late with the payment and now there's interest in this and that and so do you think that ok and then there's we just had an issue with bubba boo and like oh fucking christ this doesn't end does it and so in its interest and i've had to work really hard on the parameters of when i can give money when i can't my system now is basically to only pay bill is directly 'cause that way i know you do this all the time so this is an all the time thing i am cash corner maybe in a hemorrhaged hemorrhaging money through my family yeah wow yeah because i didn't grow up in an environment no one had health insurance no one went to the doctor or so now you know both my parents had strokes nursing
facilities are great no insurance like the whole deal so it's been but it's it's you know you talked about me working hard i worked hard initially 'cause i needed you know i don't have a choice i didn't have money and now i still have to work hard to sort of pay for all these other things which i think maybe in some way is keeping me motivated because i'm never going to get have never going to be your very weird solvent you might be like you kind of frantic and all over the place and motivated and you know you have all these frantic a little bit really yeah but in a good way how so powerful god a lot of really yeah yeah it's all if it's an armor i'm a it is it's not like a negative thing but it's like wow that girl get done you know tent site when i say frantic maybe that's what the word maybe the word is pretty kinetic yes stunning is fabulous a good of gracious but you are not stagnant
you know you're constantly in motion well that a yes i define you text i'm sorry to interrupt you text me like here so perfect example though doing a dog you menteri on head trauma what what the fuck i mean i know she's touring here in the middle of doing an hbo special you've always got some shit going on you always got these projects then you like i'm directing a documentary on head trauma mike watt was violence right yes yes yes you want to violence inside yeah this is i i yes i am but i mean it is the literal disease i do have work all of them which means you define yourself their productivity and that's how we use it my self esteem is drive just slater what i'm able to make so as you're so aware of all this well yeah i'm in pretty hard core recovery for it so no i am in al anon i do emdr i'm in trauma therapy so you addicted to think
he is a high and you know what i wish i wish that i could actually find a healthy addiction i found a lucrative addiction workers out with someone of a lucrative addiction but i am definitely addicted to waking up and being conscious and self aware you know like that's something that appeals to me and i i wasn't in my twenties but again like we were just talking about someone earlier being being a mass isn't cute in your thirties and forties you know i believe in unconscious and being up for disaster is just not cute anymore yeah there's something about lazy people in their twenties that i find adorable but when i see a lazy guy turned thirty it's nike about forty about a forty six year old lazy guy but you didn't do that yet now i'm going to get to it what and also as a girl i mean i mean guys have the stigma too but as a girl like you can be crazy in your wanted you can't be crazy in your third
so it's not sexy that's not true at all really yeah you can be crazy long as you're not active chat lines you don't show up at someone's house and break windows yeah those days moreover those entities are really fast it's like kind of crazy big enough to behave like that and get away with it's not really like that doesn't really yeah it's like what you can get away with you can even get away with you can't yeah i liked it still never they never the tipping point really i don't think so i just feel like i'm as a one and you're already anything you do people want to call you crazy and even if you talk sanely at little to have a decimal level and people are so quick to call us crazy anyway that i don't want to actually be crazy that's interesting 'cause guys will never have to worry about that they don't have to worry about the idea that you're too ambitious or that you're two forceful i don't like it in
for a man a man no no no that diving for he's decisive he's an alpha he's got his together it's a turn on and for a girl to be like that is like she's crazy should mega pms like she's a psycho she's talking me it's like no i just i i i i like you yeah or like i need to make plans right 'cause i have to schedule my flight are we hanging out or not she stalking me like ok am i talking yet do you think that's a power move though that people do that to try to make you feel insecure saying some like your stocking them or sent you know when people act like that now i don't overthink it as much now to me it's just more signifies unintelligence intelligence like when someone that went in a fight with me if we're together in you say crazy psycho or bitch i just lose respect for you 'cause i'm like i know you have a bigger vocabulary than that and if you're leaning
on these sort of like pop terms in these vague terms that get us nowhere like i'm going to lose respect for you well those were it's like when unless someone really is crazy and if they are crazy will stop hanging out with them it's like calling someone stupid it's not it's not productive helpful like like you calling it is actually you know what some good words idiot is pretty good if you don't overuse it like dumb dumb tell me i love dummy i love dummy dummy because it's so belittling i'm not going to stupid i'm sorry ruthless ruthless selling good this is pretty good silly silly goose is like you can kind of get away with it such as silly goes yeah you can't really get mad at someone for calling you silly goose you know what the worst insult like if you want to hurt the person your with what do you say you're going hurt them i don't know what you say i know that
but i the most hurt i've been is the guy said to me in a fight not bitch or related curse what i'm sorry i think we already i don't know these days bit bitch and i don't fucking know it was a rental only as far as getting sued i don't know i'm just it's it's an instinctive i have ptsd my loans and saying client is just i'm sweating i'm already we found the word none of those were hurt me they actually just make me lose respect for eo you personally jump but you're pointing out the first time you pointed what i'm pissed induces sees there like clamshells i grab looks like you're wrapping flies out there i am like fly trap and is uh i don't i mean our relationship is going to be over anyway but we were arguing about something and he goes you know at whitney you're a lot a lot you're a lot that bother
so that you know it was number one you don't even respect me enough to be spit i think with your insult you're going to be vague and it just meant like all of you is too much like you're just too many opinions too things to say you're too loud it was just like be less of what you are and that weirdly hurt me more than anything that's so strange you're a lot if somebody that to me i'd like yeah yeah i'm a lot but it tapped into an in security that already have that i'm too much for men that they that i have too much love too many ideas opinions i'm too alpha now we're getting deep here yeah too much for men to guys are not super on board with girls like having opinions and appointments and you know that sort of thing i've noticed really like opinions in appointments you realize for the last year i've had my car from guys that i've dated why do you hate you
what kind of car you well i had a gi iva tesla now but i had a dragon and i used to park it at the guys house i was dating we looked at your car be like ioboard i would uber like two blocks back to my g wagon shut the fuck up why would you do this it would like weird the mountain emasculate them 'cause you have a nice car white dayton broke dude now i know work on that said macfarlane hit me i'll i don't know because i was like i don't i would never like not date a guy because it enough money i don't see myself you know i don't think of okay but i guess i did gravitate towards guy i our guys gravitate towards me who this is it were intimidated by sort of my alfa are gravitating towards you though yes there are those guys that get taken care of by women and it's very strange this is god no and amaya you don't want this guy this guy that i know he's an actor and he's gone from one older well
woman to another older wealthy woman divorce wealthy woman to another divorce with the habit two is you're looking for it but i think that's what he does he gets these girls to pay his bills 'cause trying to act is trillion bummer that's so not sexy though it's pathetic i've done both just got a ponytail from in sold i would say that the high suede boots sometimes i want to kill him you can't do that you're broke you can do that when you're rich black man you can't do that when you're broke white guy can't even do that if you're white if you're rich you can do that if you're for al you can't can richard branson wear knee high suede but no it's completely naked moccasins stitching on the bottom around the are you would you be attracted to a girl who had more money than you who earned it who didn't get it bequeathed to her i have a theory that guys like girls who her it money but they don't like girls who earn their own money
wow more money than you i don't think that would bother me but i don't have a money problem you don't but but is money represents resources and on a primal primordial level but she's the alpha what does it made me i'm worried about money and i mean so that could you have it yeah i've got plenty so it's not like i don't know engaging something that i can't do when you have money this way i've always said everything becomes free yes like do you want to buy a car will go get a car like things become free when things become free than money stops being an issue when money is really an issue is when you don't have it yes when you don't have it someone else has like fuck i wish i had it right how do i get it i'll give you some option to give me some kind of give me
what about the money going to give me a symbolic and it's still going on yeah said monies will come when we it gets weird you get the standard relationship and a book starts to represent more than just paying for a cup of coffee and a man of my woman but i do feel like i have become this is gonna sound so sexist i feel like me king are being so whatever this thing that has happened where i'm able to pay my bills i'm i'm doing i'm miming of weird thing just sort of a funnel this so and what movie is this going away and it's not going into you it's true guys are it has changed guys relationship to me i've notice that ever since i start making money guys said
really want to dominate me choke me spit on me i've gotten spit on that did happen to my 20s when i was broke this one is in my brain broke guys wanted to cuddle me and like i contact and grab your face and wouldn't now that i have money i'm getting choked against bo here so there's a way to gresh i gotta i gotta i gotta tell me what this is i think i put his four fingers in my mouth and just leave them there for like two minutes let's say i don't know wash your hands now people get sick now i have a seven year old she's sick because she touches things and then touches her mouth like see that's how you get so yeah well i mean just learn so much about you you could never be single by the way today you better make this marriage work forever 'cause you're not gonna be able to handle the hands in the mount it's very unsanitary out there joe ohanneson well i'm not worried about myself so
stuck his hand in my mouth work by you and it was i've spent did the comedy store for ten years my immune system is on point i know i shake about one thousand hands and night after a theater show that sharing a microphone with thirty three road comics how does a number on your immune system i never get sick and never get so yeah she can those hands does it yeah really believe that yeah yeah sharing a microphone with jay london you're good for a yeah sure he's like pigpen everyone's going to ireland and a no results found i can find some s come extend it so he stuck his hand in my mouth and i was like this did not happen in my twenties and i and i'm thinking i might get it right you're gagging me what i've lost the plot at this point did you ask him right well i'm sitting there and i'm like just waiting for something like i'm going to talk about this on a podcast i can't wait i'm going to talk about to this guy
i'm sitting there and i'm like and then from and i was like maybe he lost his balance and you just have to come up and he just like me just like like had to commit what does it mean to be like so and then i was like maybe he was worried i was going to speak or 'cause i am public weisha swan maybe he just to stop me from talking i don't know what it was but this did not happen in my 20s and i was broke well bit on in the face spit in the face in the face spit in the face wow that's dark yes was it a broke out of spit in french now actually wealthy yes made more wealth in the you know maybe here's the thing here's the thing about my this nebulous wealth that i have everyone thanks i have way more than i have and it's been in the press that i have all this money so i think guys
do you have more money than me think i have more money than that which i sort of yeah i see so maybe it was he he thought i had more than i so we want to spin you yeah he went gorgeous so you know bitch with the tesla i'm the boss you think you're so cute with your tv shows i'm about to fuck it do you like a thai hooker there are people that liked though that's where it gets weird and if you date someone who likes weird shit yes and then you go to someone else in do you like i work girls i've had that recently where i i dated so i was in a relationship that was relatively sexually perverse and then dated someone who is v very not at noon way overshot the mark he said was that i mean ever is this i'm just fuck it i'm going to be single forever after this progress i did have i what time 'cause here's what you do now anymore covering jesus christ the when you this is too graphic
i feel like i'm covering a lot of the stuff that neil degrasse tyson covered on this podcast are we being are we just talk about the moon landing you have to bag on dicks now now you don't yeah well if you don't will be exercise yes you will be your head will be pushed down yeah guys push head down and you oh shit this is happening i'm like i have a fucking i would tesla two blocks away why are you jamming my head on it and then so i just thought that's how you did it and then i dated this guy and i did that and he goes oh no no no oh my god stop don't do that because i'm actually not turned on by girls hurting themselves and i was like oh god i was so embarrassed i was so embarrassed and i was like ok i'm i'm off the grid i've been off the grid now i'm back
and i just don't know what's normal anymore like i don't even know that's fascinating it was it's fascinating to be a woman who's got a lot of money we got a lot of power in that sense it but you know you got plenty all right we don't have to go over and helpless i'm not a damsel in distress i don't need to be rescued with a lot of guys want to rescue girls i think if you make more than four thousand dollars you were in the one percent of the world you know that now so you're in the one percent of america so that's it you know you got a lot of money so most men are dating girls that are like waitresses orb or our tenders all the costumes you dress up display role play by the way really we and bartending they don't have yeah it's it's that is when i really realize like all my gosh guys love us to be able and like some serbian positions can but i
new role play well now i'm just saying it's very telling that the only sexy costumes available or like waitress candy striper or secretary that's a good point nurse there nurse nurses not subservient they're kind of taking care of it's not doctor right true there's no doctor there's no ceo there's no there's only been a fighter but there is the the fantasy of like the boss who calls into the office and makes your pussy that's a good point yeah there's a lot of that there is no porn movies that's encouraging but it's always like the guy has to dominate the boss yes right yeah well yeah it's always she's like where is that paper and he's like this paper dick in your mouth it's always like that it's never like she's like you're fired and then he just leaves in jerks off right yeah you know old weird dynamic though the now that you're making me think about it i've never dated a girl who made a lot of money
date a girl who made more money the main that's for sure i'm thinking about it never i don't think so maybe when it was like really broke i think that like recently divorced guys into it alright 'cause they don't have to pay 'cause yet they just had to pay give you know their shit away so i feel like they're a little more receptive to so i literally was saying friend like hey set me up with your recently divorced friends they'll be into it but anything that there's like there's a br dynamic right there's a lot there's a lot of different kinds of people out there you have find someone who is into a strong woman but not it a beta man that's the thing again or i want someone who's more alpha than me you don't want to male feminist who's like catering to you who is like a beta who wants to take care of the kids it doesn't want to work and so stay home and an equal some of that i i lose respect for people very quickly and so i need some competitive so today is that at your predator that's true not a predator in a bad way but you
predatory instincts are a c weaknesses yes quickly yes good point i do now and once i see it i cannot see it that's why that kind of freaks out when he said you're a lot because i'll tell you a lot but i'd say it's it's a good thing like you're a lot he had on my and security of i'm not feminine and like i just want like in a relationship i don't want to be the alpha i want to be like this observing and obsequious asian girl quite frankly i don't want to to be the boss in my relationship i want this is turning into some weird sort of dating advice i know what i will you stop letting me talk to target so good at sucking dicks is a disaster fascinating people are excited about this right now is do that their pants off all around the world it hit me up on but you don't want to pay their bills it'll get ugly we'll get ugly i'll pay that i won't pay the austin
sabol bell like i'll pay the valley you pay i'll pay the half of the house in the vacations you cover the valet how about that that sounds like a good deal i don't want anyone to think i'm pink 'cause i did date a guy that did not have money and i would wire him money and so that he could pay when we basically so that when we went out to dinner he could pay well so that people didn't think i was paying yeah was it i'm not gonna do that again that was like a week ago that was hashtag bizarre well i would imagine that it's probably very hard i mean you're saying it's very hard but i would imagine that that's hard anyway i i you know again it's the you know i'm not like i need to get married tomorrow and did it but you know so i'm not but it's all you know is good comedian the good news about being comedian as you like i could use all i could alka mais this and sublimated this
pain into jokes so i just try to use it well you been doing that a lot on stage you talking about this kind of stuff on stage oh yeah yes i did in my last special i have not done i have not done stand up in since i shot special i try to take like i try to take like three months off after every special because i feel like number one i don't like doing all material 'cause i feel like the hat like i just feel like gross and then two i feel like i started doing a bad impression of myself if i do it if i don't take a break and rewire my brain and kind that's interesting reboot standout blocks to do that stand up takes big chunks of time off is detoxing currently he's got aids right now is in africa just told me as aids she told me that's not true fucking charlie sheen him comma
christ on my god that was have sex so really yeah a ghandi of him now very drunk of them i could just can't killed as decca booze is that something you can they can bounce back you're concerned it looks like he's literally my type he's the perfect for me i know we have to talk drinking problem needs money i need money he makes a lot of money yeah i guess that's yeah he's pretty well big overhead doesn't live in new mexico arizona bisbee arizona he owns like a shack he's got the most bizarre how sp an image of doug stanhope's house 'cause he puts it up online now
he put it up online he tells you where he looks like he knows no one's going to rob you know they do they could problem there's nothing there go go rob wanting to steal wacky suits and he gets from a thrift store it isn't any phase popov vodka he's got like a laptop steel that will get another one i saw a comedy joke books to the comedy store he had that like plastic gallon of popov vodka there's this house this is a party that he puts on i fucking love him 'cause he's the real deal he's like a real american original he has a house in bisbee arizona he gives out the address online and people come to his house for a super bowl party regular people he doesn't anybody any they drive people have flown in from other countries and driven the bisbee arizona to come to doug stanhopes and they come into his living room to hang out with him he's got a girl
print bingo who's being agenda mentally out of her fucking mind crazy like medicated sees things that aren't there she like suicidal or i heard them on stern i think you know i don't actually suicidal she's like that he still having he still has a relation but i don't all non sex relationship ago so it's just not actual because he can't buck or because doesn't doesn't have any desire to interesting very interesting i just you know i think if you just drink all the time and don't take care of your body just it just like that's a wrap yep it's well most of you go into sir rival mode i'm sure his body is just trying to keep him alive i don't have time to fuck right now i don't know you know more like his body slightly shouldn't procreate let's just stop this it could be that
egrets two cigarettes definitely kill your sex drive how old is he he's my age he's forty eight but you look like you're like benjamin button you're like aging backwards well i workout alot he doesn't but he makes fun of me he's like how many surgeries had like i've had a bunch surgery is now you like engine joints and all that stuff is ripping them are you worried about your of the body from my shorts at no i used to be worried yeah but everybody dies yeah i mean yeah i mean i worry about some things when things aren't going so well what happens when you don't want to get this fixed your shoulder no no i'm saying like when things go wrong i start going oh this one might not be good what's going on here yeah fucking shit i might break things up but i've had so many things fixed yeah right do you think that surgeries now improved 'cause i heard that the rg3 surgeries on his knee
not that he r g slavery it wasn't that the quarterback for the redskins rg three dozen of football i don't know the rules god love that i don't know anyway yeah the only thing sexier than a guide knowing everything is a guy knowing nothing i just like i don't know anything like i had a friend of mine invite me over the super bowl party and i thank god i had a fucking excuse but he like the mall go over burgers more super bowl moon wasn't a super bowl party i guess super wasn't happy till february it was a football party on monday night football party well the only reason i know is because the guy that owns it explaining to me that the knee surgeries that made his knees better than they were before the injury my knees are definitely better than they were before surgeries can now improve your yeah well i've had acl reconstruction in both my knees and they do it now why have one they did the older way which is a patella tendon graph where they take a big slice out of your patella tendon and then they open you up like a fish and then
drill it into the knee the tibia and the fibula and that one is definitely stronger than a regular acl and then my other one i had replaced with a cadaver this year which is even stronger because it some the use a achilles tendon which is much lower oh wow it's that one much less invasive to like the recovery time is incredibly quick like i was i went to a party five days afterwards no cane no nothing and i was crazy just walk around spinning with pam plante just walked around i can even loop full flex station like i couldn't bend it all the way but you know get enough where i look normal i walked my shoulder and i should have gotten surgery surgery would have like like the way he would have done it would have made it better i just didn't want to get surgery how long goes up two years i just add forty four well i had stem cell shots in my shoulder i was going to go vegas i was go
to get shoulder surgery because i had a labrum tear in a rotator cuff tear and there's some bright apparently have dislocated my shoulder before and you just didn't know it i didn't know but that's jujitsu is fun and so brutal yeah when you're engaging a sport for twenty years the whole purpose sport is trying to break body got it yeah things go wrong and yes my shoulder got dislocated and pop back in place and i didn't know so there's some bro and shit in there and then i heard it again from practicing archery and from lifting too much weight i just literally pulled some of the tendon off the bone really pulled it off myself like i didn't i didn't do it nope it wasn't like some yanked on it or i fell i just kept pulling shoulder get sort of like shut up pussy early oh yeah see that you've got see i have that inner monologue of if it hurts you're doing something right that's how i grew up
like these things hurt and so i never i never say uncle but you can get if you're old are still fucked up you get these stem cell shots now i'm sorry i got the plasma where they spin out the white blood cells is it that one no that's platelet plus ptpprprp yeah and that's real good then that helps healing reduces inflammation and there's a more advanced version of that which is called tradjenta keen which i had a series of those done in my shoulder and which helped a lot but it's more of a temporary fix it would help it do see information that would help the pain but then slowly but surely because i kept working out the pain would you know sort of re emerged the stem cell shots were a complete game changer wow and people always ask how much of the cost it cost two thousand five hundred dollars which is a lot of money i know but the fucking result one shot i mean my shoulders fantastic now i worked out today no problems
no pain yeah i mean i did ops did rose a doctor from things it doesn't bother me at all i can no no pay i was like that close to surgery i was like i just can't keep doing this it used to make all these clicks it makes way less clicks now i used to have to wear that shirt that the good the shirt that has velcro on the back that pulls your shoulders down it's like i have to wear it like thirty minutes to what the one that who's about school player on the words that i would know it yeah the call tall black guy does that narrow it down it's whatever to short that it's probably a compression shirt but has elko on the top of the bottom and they adjust it so that it changes the way that you walk and stuff right i get it yeah there's well there's just amazing new the innovations in science and madison like the what they're able to do there's this guy things names peter welling the guy who invented rejected i was in germany dusseldorf germany and he has fucking germans always well they
have the same restrictions that we had for the longest time yeah well the fucking the fire bush administration fucked science and medicine in this country where they could to stem cell research and then they finally how do uh autonomist stem cell all tom tallest why you saying togus autologous three fat they take stem cells through in fact or three your bone marrow right they drill a hole in your hip they suck marrow out makes them so that they don't have to do that anymore now that use placenta from a woman who has a cesarean section out yeah like that percent make stem cells out of that and that's what i got on my face you do yeah you can send text percent in colostrum colostrum ann apparently lot of weird fluid on my face will this guide this doctor is there literally months away from releasing this new procedure that they have that reinvigorates collagen in your skin
it changes your body's production of collagen and they have some sort of an injection and through injection your body reproduces college and like it did when you were twenty wow yeah peoples this is just going to write wrinkles are just going to go away they like this is fucking complete total game changer wow when is that coming out well they're setting up the infrastructure right now just to deal with the amount of patients the uh whelming amount of patients are gonna get as soon as this happens is like a trillion dollar business once it launches let me ask you a question would you as a man do it fuck yeah yeah why not good why not right now i mean i don't think i could get my fucking pay no you don't get windows fixed they don't take i would give you good knows why would you get your nose fixed i had my nose fix really the inside of it like the cartledge holy shit it actually made my nose wider in some way 'cause they shove this i think it wedges personal to your face you don't want to smaller now thank you now i don't want to have you broke in times tons i don't even know how many times really steven gold to get it fixed
like it's broken and once i did but i didn't get it fixed till i was thirty nine but i found three thousand eight hundred and thirty nine maybe my i have done but it was amazing god was the greatest thing i broke it for the first time when i was five i fell down a flight of stairs when i was five you were neglected i was a latchkey kid open york and outside and i fell down a flu stairs smash my nose and it's been krooked ever since but the inside of it was all fucked up and then from a lifetime of martial arts kickboxing is just been hit so many times it was always bleeding there's always something in there so you when your nose bleeds using cauliflower ear cauliflower here is from the break in the ear when the tissue breaks away it fills up with blood and that blood calcifies that also happens in your nose so the in out of my nose which filled with hard calcified blood and it just it is just
smash so many times that i couldn't breathe like no breathing out of my nose like this one is like my left nostril like right now just lock down and that probably is not good for an athlete terrable yeah especially for kickboxing is always had my mouth open yeah and you breed race mouth guard exactly so it's hard to breathe and if you open your mouth and you get hit with your jaw open you get fucked up so it was never good but i didn't get it fixed for the longest time but once i did get it fixed was amazed music i know is this baby you're like is this so everybody just lives all the time they shove these big fucking things up my nose is big like foam tubes and stretched it out and cut things called it's in there they trim the turbinates so they literally change the shape of the inside of my nose and shove these and if my nose like a little wider i use it on on i get really bad migraines and when we were brain start like trying to
figure out what it was like playing like whack a mole with how to eliminate certain variables they did cortisone in my sinus is an that made me breathe so much better corda corda zone in my sinus so you had some sort of inflammation a lot of us have like sinus inflammation and we just don't know about and like much less nasal and i sounded less like fred share which some people like that though now that sound for like for like five minutes yeah yeah yeah no surgery whatever no surgery so but if your shoulder still fucks with you you should really think about all women have we hold a lot of our emotion here and in our shoulders and neck stan purses so my surgeon was like you cannot carry a thirty pound person you need what
you really can i get a we have anyone joe rogan when the new shipment thank them shipped to russia again the on again because women we kerry i was carrying on my broken shoulder me up and i do my when you turn on your social because i mean it's just like a even when this was i did six months of physical therapy on this right one which is we've gone through is so fucking boring you just sit there and up to rock it back and forth and like hold you go to a place to do it yeah colon lol yeah i did it once and then i went home and i got these rubber band michael you are you're just you're just for sizes michael just do it at home it's crazy it's so annoying and then i had to because of you know more about this than anyone if i heard this thing it affects laughter and it affects my hips and that is it's all connected so i started sort of having to do with my whole body and written in that that's when i got an really
that happens a lot of people not getting an but you like you hurt your knee and then because of your name you'll get our anger level to him yes problem because it's all in a man's right now and i am hyper mobile hi promote for my removal which means i you lift and run and everything with my bones and not my muscles so i do a re learn how to like doesn't mean in seven hairy like western european enim bread bullshit sort of thing i also have august slaughters in my knees what is anxious means you get like a bone spur and your bones grow too fast so i have like follow what is that thing it's just like it's a tumor just like a buck it's like a ball of nerves yeah i just was like just we have probably gm owes plus like gm owes i would imagine plus like you know a western european mutt alcoholism gene and sort of the bones get like does it hurt or just i had like a just grew too fast
really now that i have my mastiff huge with dogs as purebred dogs yeah my mastiff they were like he was getting getting some like limping issues and it was when he was a puppy and they were saying that his he has too much protein is food you have to buy me a large dog food and i'm like what like were large breed 'cause i was hit feeding him like raw yeah yeah really healthy stuff yeah his his body was growing too fast wow he's getting would have a limp and i thought oh he might hurt himself so i brought him in 'cause i've had dogs acl surgery yeah i had yeah yeah they have notorious i have a pit and a great dane puppy who i'm going to the same thing with he's just going had this female pit that have both are real rear legs done she one rear leg like also and she had this weird limp on shoes walk around with one foot off the ground so i brought her in they had to fix that if they do it by changing the angle of the bone they cut the bone so the bone
like it doesn't you know like instead of it like following backwards they cut it at an an well so that it doesn't do that interesting it's weird how they do it they don't do it like a person with a replace the ligament they change the shape of the bone can i just say something randomness i'm so glad i mean i'm sure we'll look back in twenty years and they'll be so much new technology and were like i can't believe we live in a day or we didn't have the the stem cell injectors at our home or whatever but like my dad got sick my animals getting sick i'm like thank god we don't live in the fucking 20s when they were guessing they would guessing like they worked out all the kinks cigarettes yeah yes yes did you see that movie with leonardo dicaprio who played the aviator how reduce yeah he was doing his parents howard hughes his parents were telling him like listen to the doctor you need to cigarettes 'cause it would make you more vigorous she scratched cd
tokyo like saying timing is milk is good for you is it supposed to be simply not good some was explaining that because of the amount of it actually strips your bones of vitamin d and some way i'm not an expert but we might look back when they be like milk isn't as good for you as we thought here's a deal with milk this is a big part of what's wrong with mel commoditization pastors issue yeah so when you're drinking milk you're drinking milk with no enzymes in it because it's all boiled down to right here on the show for a year yeah even cook over cooking vegetables are not really getting that you know and some vegetable or bring salad restaurant could be the most unhealthy thing 'cause it has so much fertilizers and chemicals and stuff on well it can have e coli that's a big one because water that's runoff from the field from pastures where cows are shitting and then that can that could be a real and women get over fifty percent of their calories from salad dressing
i've read that some of your couch we drink it ran shallow jesus christ i like that when are always eat salads and they think they're eating so hello eating like solid crew tom yeah and and just like the guard trans fats and then the almost the worst thing you at the grocery store is just an apple because of all the shit and n and chemicals on it and they died you know what i like on salad i like oil olive oil and vinegar but good luck trying to find that shit at a restaurant really it's hard to get oil and vinegar most restaurants they allowed to give you a balsamic page it's true it's true garbage garbage this boat guy that shows up with addressing it's flat it's not good that guy is not vagina will dry up and can you imagine whatever guy shows up with his own wine
over guy shows about a restaurant alone like a map they drink it out of a flask like an adult how would you feel if you went to a date with a guy and he went to a fancy restaurant and he pulled out had a bag with him like a velvet and pulled out a satchel he pulled out his own world say yes it has to be a red the sutter home jacob's going to bring your own wine and it's like a white wine you should really go die i have a good one i went out with a guy who is an actor and i said that that's how you mocking you want to be in actor do you what a great idea there's none of those and flood the market he was more of an actress actually he had long hair and he likes certain conomy into going out to dinner with them and the guy that was dating my friend the older ladies the same guy
the knee high i don't live in the same division long hair is but possibly maybe this guy actually works quite a bit and we went out and comfortably wouldn't have shorter than me or less feels like it and he was bring his hair down when the food came he put his hair up oh christ and then when they put the plate away he took it back down he's gotta die what do i do just is that why we guns as i was like i now feel like we all need her own handgun i need a hanger and he did when he talking about like a trip to like italy or something and when he talked he be like you know and then you know police set me a ten summer geechee which means take a left there and then so he would how can a dallion and then translate it for me it was such a bummer so he's trying to let you know that is bilingual
i don't like it when guys hurt themselves you don't need to gag for me it's not a turn on my mouth is numb's fine i've had a lot of really 'cause i have just sort of single e and like i also went on a date with who at the end of the day put his hand up and said you alright dude wow it's a rough one it was wrath alright dude i think i had been shot right dude why it was actually like what's this what's this thing here it's like a green screen all the way back yeah so like going for a very hard high file is going to give you a lot of impact throw a ball and you're going to go fetch it and then that's what i guess i would like that's when i realize like oh i'm now gender neutral no that's not
don't seem as i don't even i think the i think what you've nailed it already is that there's a lot of guys that are intimidated by the fact you're successful an ambitious and i think that's a that's a legit concern i was listening listen to this ted talk ted radio hour right yeah i listen to that listen to one of the things we heard about the salad dressing do is one of the recent ones uhm i figure out what the name of the title was but a disruptive leadership so the one with the woman was talking about the word bossy and about women are told to be bossy like if a man does it he's assertive but if a woman doesn't is the first time that ever heard that that i thought oh maybe there's something to that but then you never i've never know once i'm going to say joe rogans bossy well not i don't know what to be took called bossy no you're selling he's like a certain but it still say i was bossy ability okay well maybe i'm doing something wrong like about you know like a lot of times people get carried away or get caught up in the
momentum of their own behavior and don't even realize other acting someone else to tell you hey being bossy in your oh but they don't read about guys like they could say the guys that he's a dick he's overbearing or whatever but a woman becomes bossy but then is going on about we shouldn't which meant to not work and take the role of child rearing and let the women work and i look at this bitch is crazy new gen it's like this whole men and women it's like you was personal i think it was i think was her own trip that she was like trying to like make it and more normal for men to do that to be the one who takes care of the children and we should encourage this and i don't think you courage it one way or the other you know i think there's going to be a bunch of but like that just i know a guy who is a mom 'cause his wife works all the time she's like a high powered executive but she's fucking miserable she were
all the time and the husbands always like let's go on vacation and like she makes a ton of money doesn't make jack shit yeah he's a very bright guy to his professor but he like teachers like one class rides his bike everywhere he's a fucking total hippie she's fighting grinding grinding every day and they make tons of money but it's not on him it's a weird dynamic whenever we're all together i'm like wow this fucking relationship is so odd i mean it's interesting i was talking to this nuro anthrop
just how long how long he you would like i'm actually so i'm this project that i'm doing has a lot of like sort of experts in it it's like roger because it's a pilot for hbo where i have instead of like a you know a friend who's like the exposition friend was like you know you should do you should get a makeover i instead have you know people ted talk people and you know malcolm gladwell of michael moore and anthropologists general just common answer explain what's happening because i think a lot of us server pretending or are misinformed thinking that we have choices and all of the decision we make when so much of it as our primal reptilian brain just running the show and human nature taking over and we like feminism like of course i'm pro feminism but human nature and evolution of neurology doesn't catch up as fast social progress does you know so a lot of this is against some level of human nature so i was asking him if he thought humans were inherently a major ocular patriarchy and what
those are patriarchy and watch our major case the line lions are pretty much matriarchal in terms of they sort of do all the work and then you know male lion sleep twenty two hours a day just sort of but the mail lines are much larger in the middle lines protect the pride yes the real matriarchal societies hyenas hyenas yeah yeah and beno bo apes dino hyenas the females have fake dicks now unless they have a faux penis they have an actual penis and they give birth out of it it's an enormous penis and they may the mail so the only mammals with females are larger than the males well and it's because life is a heinous so ruthless that male hyenas were regularly eat the babies so to keep them from eating the babies the woman the games to be bigger bigger and stronger and they dominate the men and fuck them they fuck them with their giant fake dicks yeah
i don't savvy as i've ever seen you by the way it is a good lead no problem with wildlife i him but it's a lot i love it but it's also what what does patriarchal mean and what does makes our community as a mean physically bigger doesn't mean someone so you know the female lines during hunting the male line is pretty much the boss they you know call the shots and are like bigger but they have to sleep most of the time to write preserve their energy and it's not economical for the them to be up and running around but nobo apes the then sort of call the shots in terms of who kills who and who's in charge and there's sort of like have the resources and stuff and because there're gynocracy is that what it's called they use their vaginas to you know like if someone they fuck up yes a gynocracy so they use sex to sort of play kaden to get what they want and i wanted to order yes essentially exactly and so is that you know that in humans we would say that's a weakness you know you're being not true at all you know that's fucking stand
you're using what you have to make so we were talking about that and that he sort of being a strong argument that humans could have inherent matriarchal traits that we you know oh press there we oppress yeah just in terms of like you know you know what is power mean and you know men are sort of designed to do the hunting in the killing and protecting anw sort of designed to do all the organizing and all of the like rush it work but we're not sort of allowed to do that the society so organizing or like family organizing raising the kids making decisions about a loan to you don't think so well i don't know i mean it's it's i think that were criticized a lot when we do what we do best at you know work crazy and neurotic and obsessive and she's obsessed with getting married and nesting in the house and she wants to change the carpet it's like that's what we're wired very
i think the way men the reason why men will criticize that is 'cause they don't understand those instincts like my my wife takes care of everything she's is the one who is like responsible for all the thank you to my house yeah the bill like this is in your house six house work i have a few rooms in my house their mind yeah clearly yeah the most the houses my wife's design and all her and treat this letter but i go i'm not market because i don't understand it but i don't make fun of it but it's and i think what i should mention as i think that women are shamed for that more than men shaming women i think that there's this thing now where if you're like grated organizing the house and cooking and cleaning like you're not minister it's like well i hate that word i don't i am word feminist so not it's it's so loaded and it's not that i don't like the quality i just don't like i did this so many hash tag feminists yeah there's so many people that there's people that i i'm obsessed with our go to their twitter page because every post they make is about gender the
most of their identity is based on feminism there's a giant chunk of what they do and they think they're being activists but you're not and a lot of feminists or a lot of feminism doesn't mean being equal it means women should be superior it's like wait a second i thought the goal was that we were supposed to be superior at which means that we should equally be judged and criticized and all these other things that you can't be like to speak out but you're not allowed to attack me or question anything you do your massage your massage right if you question anything i say it's like no so i think that is a very tricky place an i'm i'm working on this thing that's sort of a out how are primal neurology like what annoys you about my wife today not you particularly our one hundred point nine by now i guess i would always about your boyfriend today is what kept you alive two thousand years ago so essentially all the things that your girl going through your cell phone today two thousand years
was her surveying land for tigers and fresh you know today it just manifests and going to your cellphone or gear for threats to the the next step there's we have street lights now right have alarm systems you know not you know you don't need to be like you know looking for pop prince because there was a tiger around you need to be like checking the cell phone and going through his computer in his email so you know that's the same impulse we're not just gonna vault overnight to catch up with cell phones well this is so many classic there's so many classic stereotypes when it comes to to gender roles and one of my favorites is the feminist that's always turn with rape and they constantly have all these rape to it's and rape awareness and then you look at them and their morbidly obese and they have pink hair like what's going on here why is your entire existence how much of your thoughts whatever whatever you're projecting online so much of it is about gender and then they mock men like there's all
this mra mocking like someone called me an mra and i literally had to google it 'cause i didn't know what is that men's rights advocate well feminists who mock men who want rights which is hilarious it's about well i mean it's all selects loaded it's also loaded so loaded and it's a few cool ones give everyone a bad name it's like does every football player beat up his girlfriend no ray rice did so we now it's in the site geist then i have this woman christina summers on my podcast a couple weeks ago and she calls herself the factual feminist and she's an older woman who grew up as a feminist in a time where she believes that it had a different meaning and it was a true search for equality but now she thinks that it's been sort of hijacked with fake facts and buy a statistics and a bunch of studies that aren't really based on reality and she confronts them and she's like this is bad for feminine
when you go around saying that women make zero dollars and seventy five cents on the dollar this is bad for feminism because what you're not talking about is what are the jobs they choose and this is the difference between the jobs they chew they're not as dangerous they don't when they would do the same jobs the difference in pay it out very similar yeah hi this is so this so these are disingenuous comparisons and these statistics are biased and agreed and i think that you know i talked to maureen dowd wrote this article or two weekends ago in the new york times about less women in hollywood and less women and he saw that and i think that my sort of point she's a friend of mine and we're working on something together but i think my point when people ask me about like what do you think about women directors in hollywood i'm like no ones talking about all the offers we get that we pass on
so no women in late night you think that they would make a show with amy poehler right now is that the host of late night show right she they don't cover the women that pass amy schumer's offer the daily show when she passed right no one talks about that right it's like i've been offered direct movies and i am drug running next year but i've said no because it's just not something that i really want to do why the less female comedians it's like i mean now i feel like there's not as much but it's like because the lifestyle is fucking stressful it's the same reason we might not have her own football league 'cause we don't want to play a sport where we have to put a helmet on it's just like you know so so i think it's a harder gig for a woman i think name one female comedian who is married with kids i can't um there was everybody mcfarland that's right but she's married to a comedian she gets to open for him on the road right and they pass the baby back and forth like a football totaly comedian suck at football so you can probably hit the ground well she's she's a child
she was on a day to do it together yes and they have a great relationship yeah they're they're funny together yes and she's very talented as well but yeah it's yeah it's good point it's very good and i have a like i mean i even struggle if i keep female comedians who have like good relationships restaurant it will really ship so it's i think it's the same thing that we're talking about it's hard to find a guy who can deal with a woman's got a strong personality you want a lot of guys like i want a woman to be cute watt no fucking way i don't can come see you left up no fuck now nope it's like it's like my dirty little secret it's like i'm cheating i'm literally will be like cheating on the guy in with stan look i'm not run a starbucks in a like a do a set of economists are come on down i will not let you are not like the guy i'm dating see it yeah we spy talk about all this off stage thank you there's there's there's work around
i think i don't need establish yeah maybe it's just the wrong guy yes i got one hundred percent but i think that your dating bimbos so who else said that to me it might have been callan actually i do date the combo yes him like a chauvinist i was dating like professional athletes and well that's why you know i said that use the word frantic but energetic there's to two you've got yeah much like in a lot of men you know they just don't they're not going to match that you know and some time when when you see like when people like if they eat you they hate on someone like there's a people that hate on like kevin hart or someone like that was he backlash we ambitious ambitious ambitious he makes you feel lazy i'm vicious and i see kevin hart and like i might be lazy yeah i might be lazy in comparison to him yeah i mean it's really what successful people do right as they just sort of illuminate our insecurities
ourselves for a lot they hold a mirror up to what we don't have yeah and a lot of people they don't do well with that and instead they start attacking that mirror yes yes and i heard a quote along time ago that stuck with me which is that comparison is the worst form of violence against yourself and it's one that i know you're probably not a big quote inspirational quote person but that's one that i stick to it whenever i get stuck in the heat she's got this and i don't and she did this and i did enough falling behind and all that sort of it's a good way to look at it because instead you should look at it like fuel that can come people feeling that you get when you see someone kicking ass yeah your sub mass you know go go home and write you know exactly what work out good yeah jim has something of the same twenty four hours you know yeah we do presumably and that that's how you get better yeah like you don't get better 'cause you're the shit like in your better everybody like i while it why would i even try like those days are gone yes like that doesn't exist anymore does not this one genius to come down for them out with all the great ideas no you have to
he surrounded by other people that also have amazing ideas and also by each other i mean it's tricky because i feel like when i hear the word ambitious maybe it's to your point about the word bossy and the disruptive leadership thing i feel like when we say woman is ambitious so there's this weird thing on that word like it gives me like a little bit of it makes me recoil a tiny bit 'cause it makes i don't know why it's kind of a dirty word when people say i'm ambitious i get uncomfortable but i think for me i noticed recently and third just turned thirty three i don't need to be famous like that's not something that like i need i realized that i want i think that in the beginning i was like
so i was not seen and heard as a child all i want to do is be seen and heard and then in the last like three years i've like done some like work on myself and woken up i'm not like like just flying through space unconsciously the way i used to that's made things very clear for me in terms of when i wake up in the morning what my goals are and how i just want to be good i don't want to be famous and that makes my life a lot more sort of chill and i also think that if i had a really should because i wouldn't work as hard since i don't have kids right now when you say you want to be good what what what do you define that by do you good with your stand up yeah yeah that's pretty much every good stand up and i know and i think you're very funny by the way every person like you anyone that's good that's pretty much the most important thing like you know i do a lot of different yeah but if anybody ever said alright joe you have to pick one only one thing yeah it wouldn't even be this i even think it's his no thought i can always
enjoy conversations with people without pudding on a podcast i could always in watching the ufc without being a commentator yeah yeah but what would you do for free for an occupation when would you still do it for free i do stand up for future based i don't think i've ever gotten paid to stand up actually up to lose that obviously have never picked up one of my fifty dollars drinks with a common start i don't pick a mommy pick them up yeah tommy probably ate them and fucking creep but i i think that you know for the first time and i'm curious when you know you're good 'cause no i mean no comedian it comes up stages could i stand where i was like i should one that i didn't suck sock yeah you know and so i know that my last two specials i can't even y que i cringe even thinking about it it's like looking at a photo of yourself in the eighties with what you're wearing is like a god like this last one is the first time i wasn't like this is great it's first was like ok yeah that was well it's so hard because you're so close to it you're there with it all the time so none of those jokes
surprising to you know those jokes upon you and that's what comedy is all about comedy is all about like you have an id you start with the premise and then you say something in that premise like when you say if you start talking about a clock these are doing a bit about o'clock yeah you doing a bit about the clock mike okay we're talking about clocks any surprise user said like yeah that's half of what comedy is and that's not available to you yet no because if you're saying it's a magic trick it right no the train no the trick so it's so hard to like and also you're so close to it because you're chipping away at it and the only way to be good is to be like constantly introspective and constantly objective and constantly analytical and it's fucking brutal it beats you down i just know that if i know that this last one i taped on tape night i still kind of giggled at some of
the i still cared i still gave a shit about what i was talking about i wasn't phoning it in i wasn't wrote just saying something i had said six hundred times but i still felt this sense of like i'm saying something i care about which to me is all i can ask for that's the key right to be in the moment while you're talking about the subject is you write it you film it a year later if a year later it's still relevant they were matters it's like ok that i've succeeded do you this is my what about stand up and tell me if you agree i think that when you're when you're on like everything is going great the audiences laughing really loud you know it's like everyone's tuned in i feel like it's a form of hypnosis
it's interesting i don't and i'm actually not bring this up because of your occupation but i think it is very stand up is very much a sport for me i agree that it's hypnosis yes it's very it's like to be the only things i compared to our like sacks and boxing because you can't be a second had you can't be a second behind the other the audience is fifty percent of it i can't just do ninety percent it's like what i do next depends on what you just did and it does become a very like hypnotic symphonic that's why hecklers don't realize what a fucking master they are like how they're fucking things up because your fucking the rhythm of the interaction sudden you have reared you're ugly head and now everything has to focus on you and the whole trance has been trance form yes totally and you've truncated this like vibe if not encourage ing this 'cause if i talk about this maybe i'll get increase the amount of hecklers i get i sometimes like hecklers 'cause they keep me awake
you don't fall asleep at the wheel sometimes i fall asleep at the wheel you do a lot of sense is that what it is yeah when i'm getting ready for a special on like like trying to time it out i'm very embarrassed about this and i have shame around it but i work wait it out in the word document and i'm like a geek i record every set and i do the same set in time it out and have four new tags i'm going to i try wanted each show like i'm not a savant it gets up on stage and just writes on stage i wish i was that person i wish i could pretend like i just why you wish that though that's the shame and maybe this is like a high school out of two but in comedy they're still that you know the person that gets an after school like the person who tries the least is the coolest wow that's so weird the thread that would come from athlete i i i feel like people think i'm a nerd because i try so hard and it's so
strange that really ought to be a woman thing maybe is suppression of the ambitious woman yes it's got to be hot because i literally have like all my jokes typed out in a word i can i come in the comments or just pretend like i'm winging and one of the following on the day we do is we should for having a notebook sometimes what the it was sent to shame a man for like preparing that so like you doesn't work are so good i go as well you're you and he's a great dude i write out of my favorite things a taliban one time because you know tell has a new our every six months right and he's like writing is composition but before show and i can't member what communing come up to him you know some middle
i was like what do you do when you brighten joke or what are you doing in detail goes i'm writing jokes ever heard of it and it was just you know an opportunity funny but just so like yeah the greats write shit down did you receive my greg geraldo and dennis leary going at it crashed the fucking bag first of all dennis sitting there like a fucking in alaska with a leather checking with sunglasses on he's got sunglasses on inside during the filming right everything is going great for him he's on top of the world and geraldo keep coming up with these funny line really at yes i am and he goes as guys always guidelines with yet dennis this is a common should we write we write down how many writers yes the man in the he you know he should tell my car's got john you have a tv show where you're showing is actually how to show just canceled yeah i have to watch it mark ameren made fun of me one time about that too like while i was on his podcast and he was like he's like you like right jokes you do like jokes
and i remember being like wait i'm so i don't is that we're doing here like i limit like he was saying that is alternative community it's very looked down upon to have like dead dad punched find set up punchline he was trying to say that that's a bad thing you have joe i annoy mark very much why just the fact that i like have jokes and write jokes and prepare and like there's something that has jokes he writes job does but it's a little more it feels more unscripted and ics temper and yes and like in our model just you know sort naturally funny or something whatever i'm not next brady is a funny i have to work i mean i'm a geek i have to be a geek i feel like there's a there's a benefit in doing both things i think there's benefit free balling and trying to come up with things improp improvising and exploring the bits sometimes i'll set myself up like i'll dig a hole
stage on purpose smart and then try to fight my way out of the hole and sometimes i don't and that that opens a door had course for sure yeah you know but you got to deal with that you know but this the in that process yes like sometimes bits come out but but i also right i sit in front of the fucking keyboard all the time i sit in front of notepad all the time and i feel like if i don't do that there are bits that won't emerge they just won't and if i don't get him down i'll forget him and i just i is always you know people always people always but when people people say i'm smart i get so confused because i got smart because i was not so and if i was in the kitchen class asking one million questions and taking a million notes like i work so hard to over compensate for the fact that i wasn't smart that that's how i think marta loaded word too it's a very vague nebulous it's a nothing word it's thing or what you know it's it's it's accumulation of information is not necessarily intelligence like this some people that will say they'll they'll try to equate the two together and i
you can learn things you remember things doesn't necessarily mean you're smart i'm inside out of your own way shit there's different like you're articulate and like you're smart and that way like i just a lot of and spouting out facts doesn't make you smart it's the same thing i do i just about out that i remember yeah that's right i'm not smart and plagiarizing someone else i just ran exactly yeah i just sent a percentage and you think i'm smart i mean i'm smart about certain things like if you want to ask me about martial arts i know a lot about it because i've studied it my whole life that you're in a site full and intuitive and the you know like an artist when it comes to that kind of stuff your brilliant with that stuff well the 'cause you have like sort of one slash six sense you know that's a magical it's not a six sense it's just i've been doing it so long it's just data chunking people you know not to mystify sort of what we do we're pulling current back too much when people like you're so good with hecklers it's like well there's no heckler i haven't encountered any exchange i had with the heckler
five hundred times so it hecklers like hey bitch and they think it's the first time i've ever heard it and i'm like ok do you really want to do it comedian club comics there's nothing we haven't even more special you work the store 'cause there's no crowd control like you know like i've had there's like so many videos online of me dealing with hackers and be like well how do you get so good at that fucking the comedy store can't even see him because what people don't understand the common shares the way admits he lit it is you you're blinded by the light and they're completely anonymous you can't even go hey full convenient 'cause you don't know anyone wearing 'cause you see a black mass well there's also this thing that's going on in hollywood that's very different than anywhere else where there's a bunch of people that they are not fulfilled like if you come to pasadena and you do a set in pasadena like those a lot
those people are not actors so not in showbiz work in denver those are not show biz people through meal occasionally going on shows heckler but good point but those fucking showbiz failures i think some of the most bitter weird people that you'll ever encounter well here's the other thing is i think that people a lot of times that people that come to comedy clubs there the funniest friend and do not i mean you always know when the guys like oh you're the funny guy in the group you're the funny lawyer funny lawyer but you're the terror but you know but i don't i don't colors for some reason don't piss me off that much i don't know may because i'm so sick of my own material that i'm an insult is like a respite from my shared or i know i really am but i don't
totally maybe it's 'cause i usually agree with them just some when they yell insult them like it is a good point i don't know what it is some hecklers that they're good natured and you know sometimes you counter people that are just trying to have fun and those people aren't nearly as shitty as the ones you'll encounter that are just rude i am so desperate and i'm interested in your thoughts on this i'm so desperate to figure out how to be present 'cause i can't do it it doesn't come natural to to do present in the moment i do to go go no i can't do yoga can't do it's not for me my inner monologue is to treasure is that's the whole idea i think most of beat that down i'm now doing this meditation practice that's based on john bowlby's theory of attachment which is to try to rewire you pathway is the in terms of how we attach to people and when you grow up in a chaotic varmint your man to lead doesn't develop the pathways to your i think is it hippocampus a tell me if i'm wrong and blow the ending
that i conjure brain down because you're had such high alert as a cat i write developed an adrenaline addiction so early on that it's so hard for me to calm myself down which is something i want to mention about smoking pot a doctor told me that that that i was going to but was saying something about smoking is the inhaling of smoking because you and when you smoke you take ten deep breaths let's say if you take ten depressed with how to cigarette that's going to calm you down so sometimes the placebo of smoking is just the inhaling which i thought was interesting makes a lot if you go outside and just take ten deep breaths i feel better with or without a cigarette do you know who wim hof is yeah the vice guide and climbed to the top but i do his breathing method before every silly it's amazing wow have you gotten sick doesn't he say you can control your immune system which is the way we can i mean i haven't gotten sick but like i was feeling sick the other night but i ate a giant chunk of garlic my kids are sick like when you have kids get sick all the time yeah but enough get sick like my wife is a lot
have called my middle daughter has like pretty good college had been home from school for a couple of days but i just i was feeling scratchy last night so i just chunks of garlic drank all this kombucha and went to sleep yeah i'm fine but my immune system is on point i bet that i'd be interested in if it changed comedy club i am telling it has something to do with that never get sick but it's also healthy food i eat really healthy bone marrow broadmere is my new thing bone marrow game changer do you eat elk i don't i was waiting for this to come up i follow you on instagram so i'm just worried like i'm going to go home with so much fucking awesome do you cook you know what i do but i pretty much bone broth bone marrow and eggs or the only meets i do wow
bone marrow bone broth and so on the bedroom fucking wolf i am like a wolf in hen house he time alarm off i'm not tracking both ventually my ex boyfriend used to call me now now remember that jodie foster movie where she was raised by wolves christ 'cause i got no attention as a kid and all i secure movie 'cause i have no social skills or people skills that's not true at all i'm working on it i'm not socialize i also have an extra bone in my foot i'm not fully evolved like i'm still a primate got you have an extra bone you're from like where thumb should like where like a webbing or basically have you got your what is it your saliva test your dna testing for twenty three and meet you shouldn't let me vote they play if only for monday yeah i see so i am in the i think ninety nine percentile of neanderthal deviation really yeah so you only have some neanderthal oh yeah i'm an animal i'm a truck drug dark chocolate i'd like an animal
like i eat things like i'll just eat like i was out with a friend of the other night and there was like a drink on aisle drink like i'll just drink trash like i'm just like a like a barnyard vulture like just the way you grew up yeah like i just like scarcity complex if you never know when food was coming you never know when you're going to get attention again i wasn't socialize like i took my mom just learn how to make eye contact like two years ago i swear to god i'm not kidding basic shit i was like not i used to look like ok so i'm looking at you now i used to just look here for eye contact and someone like i'm looking at the like right side your head this guy worked with rob and finally one day was like do you know that you're looking like like he was like self conscious about like his hairline everything what are you looking at i was like what do you mean i'm looking in your eyes he's like no you're not and i asked all my friends are like oh yeah you always looked like the right of our eyebrow so you look over there i would just look over here can you tell i'm looking at your eyebrow right now or do you think
look in your eyes i can't see i'm so bad at this i do now i'm looking at your right eyebrow right now can you tell kind of but here's my question i was like is the right ice to look in the right and the left i supposed to look in the left eye that's a very good poor do i look like to the center of your nose i think as long as you're looking at the eyes it's ok i think two eyes look at one i that's kind of what i'm doing now you know when there's some guys this is always insecurity insecurity with me some guys when they would fight they would look there opponent in the eye so aggressive i never so intimate i always looked like in the yeah and then i saw a but i look peripherally yeah look diet like abstract yeah i see the whole body i would always look at people like this i would i know that when i am on stage and if a month not laughing or if i'm not connect like all look them in the eye and then i that's how you get them closer to it should be obsequious yeah that's how you get
them dab sequence when they don't give a fuck with his work there attacking but i contact is like the most regressive shit you can think about it if someone your trader joe's in seminole or like what you want to fucking go i mean usually say hi how's it possible that i'm more aggressive than your job people make art contact with me i usually famous and you know that's what they're doing but even if they weren't i would just say hi if you're in another country and somebody stared at you in the eyes you looked at them and didn't look away i would think that trying to steal my liver yeah something well the chance that you probably are carrying a liver with to meet you just have on you at all deliver back there you have it liver absolutely horrible book called source nutrition or something nutrition it's about how the
our organs of the animal have more nutrients in the meat they definitely do handles always go right to the liver that's how they had sat was the alfa nashville something like you kill caribou the the alpha wolf we deliver ever first yeah it it's all about how the human evolution of the brain i was largely expedited once we start at bone marrow because human couldn't kill their own food in the beginning so they would rely on eating the leftovers of wolves and lions and shit and what was leftover was always the bones and shit that data needs they start eating the marrow and then their brain started growing exponentially and then they were able to start developing tools and hunt their own food then they started eating meat again because they hunt their own food stopped eating the bones and what that was the leftover trash and then sort of plateaued is so fascinating when you think about human beings because what i've read is that human beings have been in this shape as far as we know for roughly two
plus thousand years but we've only been talking for seventy wow so like our ability to communicate wait was only established about seventy thousand years so for the first one hundred and thirty one thousand years there was no talking which sometimes talk better is just confuse these people i feel like we can communicate so much better nonverbally then we can verbally that's not true at all and it definitely i'm being what's the word folic facetious yes yes i know that i talk too much i should but there's always at these theories about like why the brain is the size that it is like the doubling of the human brain size apparently is like the biggest mystery the entire fossil record of any animal like they don't no they don't know what it is there's all these theories about maybe it was the consumption of more protein but then the problem with that theory is well what about mountain lions how can they have giant fucking brains what about you know but about bears why don't they have the biggest brains
then there's the other theories that we developed the throwing arm and that are throwing arm the ability to throw at something hit it it lead us to these problem solving skills all these different because we figured out oh i can develop a tool now i can develop a weapon but that doesn't make any sense either the most fascinating was terence mckenna's does terrence mckenna says he has a theory called the stoned ape theory and his is based on psilocybin he believes that and crazy thing this theory is it coincides with climate change 'cause two million years ago the rainforests the climate shifted rainforest receded into grasslands and he thinks that these primates come down from trees and started experimenting with different food sources and one of the things these undulate animals cows and like they would show and then these psilocybin mushrooms that grow in cow patties well they would flip over these tikal patties looking for bugs and worms 'cause they were always underneath there to eat but they also had these mushrooms that were growing on the cow patties and a lot of them were silly
i've been mushrooms and that the psilocybin mushrooms which were incredibly comma in this area when you eat them in low doses they increase visual acuity that make you horny so that would make a better hunter and more likely to breed and then in high doses they have the transcendent psychedelic experiences and they would allow them to think out of the box be more creative right here right now also some cyber has been known to regenerate neurons like there's all these subjects are doing right now but the properties of psilocybin then this pill white pill of some mushroom pills sorry keep pointing it goes then stop doing that's ok point the is there to sept shrimp like that yes this what this is alpha cordyceps mushroom say mushroom tech is not company everything that you're talking about right now no no psilocybin his magic mushrooms psychedelic mushrooms for you don't have any psychedelic experience nothing no
you could be done mushrooms mushrooms i did lsd stop scars on my people with myself the wall and one no i remember the one time i did like acid acid like the tabs of acid was in with each maryland of the dollars and we were playing do you know the card game asshole you know where you like we would do when you lost the card deck you would cut someone michaels with the car deck into liquid lead i now hardcore white trash it and i still have like little scars on my knuckles from that and then on the acid yeah and then i like lost my mind so i never did that again i go hard i am a ride or die and so i never did acid and then i spent the next like eighteen hours being like this is never gonna end this is never going to end this is awful and anne i did mushrooms a couple times but it's not let go thing so the thing about psychedelics is the bad
come from the inability to let go i had a part time when i first started doing psychedelics yeah it's like you try to battle it and you can't battle you have to come to it give in i was thirteen i mean no you're going ability i know that's crazy you thirteen she's like if i did it now i probably could acquiesce it'll most likely have you ever done isolation tank no did you know i'm in gary in utah the om and it's like a i did like a deprivation tank that's different sensory deprivation tank thing different from what is an army gearing not make your it's like a this like wellness place and they have a giant sensory deprivation tank where it's like two inches of water in you float is black yeah yeah old should be allowed is deeper than two inches
ngs are maybe was more well you two in order for your body hello how whatever however many is request usually twelve okay twelve on your second fat no no i'm saying the person's body yeah two inches your vendor that was small and a half of your body has to be under water to get whatever it is hello so obviously you know you're dealing with yes yes yes i have like eleven inches of water right i love how literal you are you know what you are you're the guy in a fight who you could never win 'cause you just stick to the literal facts and he want exaggerating is going to lose so i feel like you're the guy who look i didn't say i didn't say you were a bitch i said you were being a i would never do that now i'm like like on the for like you're gonna went on as i go this way to have an argument yeah but i find that smart guys like i was dating this guy who's a doctor and i could never i like well i mean it's not like you were there he's like i was there at two hundred and thirty i'm like you were late he's like i was like stuck to the technicalities well i think truly small
people don't get involved in relationships with people that argue over shit like that interesting you got yeah i got beat but i mean comedians on i don't know if this is because you chicken or egg i tend to exaggerate things i'm looking for two inches of water i should find yes and it screws up my relationships because i if you lose credibility with everything goes back to you up his relationships with his relationships not going well meaning and i i just it's fun to me or maybe it's a crime i lean on to us that i don't just take responsibility from i think it's gonna you until you find the right guy and then we'll be great yeah it's not that it's just it's it's it's all i mean it's the same thing with everybody's like whatever it's like some people have personalities are more compatible with more people yes but your personality i'm sure it's compatible with somebody yeah find that right person who can who's you know the right
you do your lock or vice of i'm just so impressed by you because you have your career and your personal life are equally successful just fortunate very lucky i'm very lucky but i also like think about a lot of work on you do things you know i think if you're not like comfortable and either or like i read something today that made me sad i cried i cried all times i love it no don't do that crying his strength shrink their own ability it was about scott weiland from on top of pilots and it was a story that his wife read rolling stone one generator fi yeah by tragedy so a dictionary it was not just the addiction was the the way he treats his kids yeah the way he sort of replace his children he had a son and a daughter with the first wife and then once he got the new wife and he had a new family he replaced his family and he just stopped paying attention to his son stop him
inches daughter they never went to his new house and all that this is such a bummer to me it was addiction know is like this nasty by the way that kids that didn't live with him we're probably better off i know that's a fact that maybe you might be you might be right i mean being raised in addiction damn yeah look at her addiction you can just you can never you'll never win you'll never you're right you're right but i work at it i think you have to god if you don't like especially like taking care of kids like it's so fucking important you know you were neglected and because i was neglected i think we have that thing and i had and i'm fine in bound and determined till like let my kids know that uh love am i care about him and i spent a lot of time with them and i'll talk not too much just time it's not on my phone i'm because i had i wasn't like alone in uh base your ignored i had people next to me who were not there were with me but they were
hearing me or seeing me i was invisible even though people were interacting which is sometimes more confusing to a child then just complete absence because then i'm going i'm being rejected on a minute by minute basis by someone who's choosing something else over me so when you the most tragic thing is when you see the new alcoholism i think is kids with their parents or parents are on their phone right next to them we checked out but right next to them so you're there but you're not there that's that's a really common thing but here's what's fucked up this is something i struggle with an la my friends have kids struggle with as well a lot of people become interesting because adversity they face when their children and then you have and in the last thing you want is your children to experience adversity and but the people that you like all come for all my friends came from fucked up households every single one of 'em all the good news is with bullying and your kids i'm sure they'll be plenty of adversity to break it to you but they'll be a lot of adversity i would imagine that you can't
now but there's always going outside of your sanctuary of your home and but what i'm saying is they all came from fucked up houses but this is all but there's also no you tell me i feel like the last generation was just kind of a wash like i don't know that many people who had like great childhoods because like that generation of man uh huh lism is so rampant in the 50s i mean people don't think about the fact that like in the 20s this country had to outlaw drink that's how bad it was for ten years now why it happened though in the twenty that's not why it happened it happened it happened because they outlawed marijuana right right but this is this what happened what what they did was they try tried to control the popula and one of the ways they were going to control the population was out long drinking they tried you put a shackle on people because they didn't want people going out in the streets and do anything but what they did is they empowered organized crime and in doing that what they did was
just made al capone rents and made all these people bridge and then once they did that then they'd tried to put a stop to other drugs so they can take these people that they used to enforce the alcohol laws and then forced other laws that's when marijuana became italy right right but all of it is just a control issue it's not it was necessary in fact the best way to keep people from drinking is to let drink around them see the disastrous effects like this is why you don't like you're in all these groups why you in all these groups in all these groups 'cause you grew up with people that were fucked up yeah i know touch coke and one of the reasons why i never touch coke 'cause i grew up with coke heads i had coke heads that were friends of my one of my good prince cousin was a coke head i saw it from a bunch of people and then i had a buddy who died from heroin i've never i've never even thought about dying and also when you tell people they can't do something they want to do more so like in europe you know i mean there's a lot of alcoholism but it's not like as bad as it is here because it's like yeah go for it they drink at fourteen and they've got it out of their system and they have nothing to prove and there's not yeah
exactly they let kids try wine where exactly i think it was more control issue than it was anything it all coincided with world war one and i think you know there was a bunch of p well that wanted everyone to get back to work and make america strong and not get upset man out of him drinking but you just create slaves you can't tell people what they can and can't do with their body you just can't you can't and then actually is drinking is fun i like for fun and and then in the 50s the fucking madman generation the three martini lunch like people are just drinking during the day at the office it was socially acceptable so that was our parents and our parents parents were the generation i mean trying to be good parents that even have the information to be able to be good parents that we have the information on the psychology and sociology and alcoholism you're the first
parent that's going like you know what i'm going to see my kid and let my kid cry and let my if i have a boy i'm going to let him say like i don't feel good and not be like man up and catch this ball you know it's the first generation that i feel like we're really no enough to be able to be good parents well you gotta know when to tell them to man up too though yes going to tell them when to walk it off you know like like my five year old still cry over everything 'cause she knows that crying gets our attention and then i'll go look sweetie if you want to hug i'm happy to give you a hug but i know that that didn't hurt i saw what happened is really nothing not going to enable victimizing yourself really really really hurt 'cause she's five
she still has a lot of extra ws yeah pull really everything's really lucci topless by floyd everything like all these woo woo noise 'cause there still have like a babysitter daddies joe rogan you demand the fuck up right now you're embarrassing love but you also let him know but don't ignore i don't know hey stop fucking crying yeah if your foot is fine i don't say that i go look at it just be her gotta let it go it's just a sensation yeah you know i read this thing there's this book called the fantasy bond about what happens when kids are ignored neglected and all that kind of stuff that kids would rather be physically abused and ignored yeah i've read that 'cause at least they're getting their their existence is being validated and they don't they don't feel like their life is at stake i dated this girl and we broke up and she did some guy that hit her and i've told this story but it was very bizarre is along time ago is a long time
locate me up i was like seventeen at the time but she he was telling me that this guy hit her and i was like fuck and she's like you know it's fucked up as i like it and i was like ok well context easy you don't want him to like hit you because you did that thing in the dishwasher you want the light slap in bed i don't think it was a light slap i think it was like some beating up it was weird but also did he was he trained in jiu jitsu like you i don't think she want you to hit her some random guy who's not straight debating people did shitty check this thing i'm fine with tony him i live in maine i don't want joe rogan invaded puerto knees like watt show vegan tony hinchcliffe come up the vegan yeah ok we're back influenced him ok to the gym a few times ok so look you're not going to get this weight and beans but yeah i think it's like depends on who's doing the
i wasn't even there when he did it last week for the first time we went to fogo to child not places i'd stick oh yeah i know what you're talking about yeah i love how aug board of fucking meat do you know my arch fair story about when he hates me and he hates me at the comedy store hazed in the beginning when i started the comma i think he we told the story on his podcasts but yeah he mentioned it which is that like in the beginning when i got hey it's so hard to please you were not there to protect him a can you had made your mass accidents in the comments are it was like him and like day taylor and all these guys used to just fucking bunch of guys with women kill me i mean they would just make my life miserable 'cause i was like showed up in my backpack and you know hoodie and i was like had like i'm going to make it as a committee and they're like we're gonna crush your soul and one night ari stole my backpack and hit it 'cause i would always come with a backpack but he didn't know that my credit card had just gotten stolen and i just got a call for the bank saying hey some guy stole your credit
so he was like it's probably someone around you who stole your credit card copied it etc and then ari stole my book bag put it like up in the back bar like hit it and then i instantly i couldn't find it started hysterically crying and made tom turn on the house lights in the or which have you even seen lights on in the older it's very weird she ghost in there it's like looking at a one night stand in the face yeah totally and he didn't admit that it was him for like a years until i think seven years later well he was so like embarrassed or the absent or whatever that's probably not the right i don't think is that what he is out of these capable of that there was there it was kind of emotions but he then admitted to me finally that was me that's all your backpack that's an arc yeah that and send those in as good a story telling adding on
do you think i like there is a concerted effort to fuck with women when they start doing stand up comedy fuck with them emotionally obviously mentally yeah yeah and i'm grateful for it i'm glad they did really yeah i'm grateful i've made me for you say that not a lot of women would say that look i now maybe i'm not being feminist or did it but i've heard again i know i never i am that's why i said it with a tinge on it because i i again because i grew up playing sports i welcome adversity 'cause i know it makes me stronger so i don't so rarely complain about it like pain muscle sore and all that like if i'm not sore after a workout the next day i'm bummed 'cause i know that i didn't work that hard so adversity at the combination storing stuff like new instinctively you guys are helping me you don't know you're helping me you're trying to hurt me but you're actually making me stronger and i'm grateful that's a very unusual attitude though right even for men
or a woman yeah for anybody and when you grow i grew in an environment that was very like you know i don't hand is the devil's work and if it doesn't hurt you're not doing it right through yeah yeah so i'm grateful that i have that mentality because it it helps in doing stand up so you stop for three months you stop for three million miles yeah do you do you time it do you aside three months so i sort of like i think stand up for me is very much like a haunting you know you get an itch you sort of like have stuff you have to talk about an instead of like boring your friends at dinner with it or you have a podcast you have other outlets i wait till i'm like this is a gross word but like constipated with like obsession of injustice like right now there's nothing that's like keeping me up at night that's make that i have to get on stage and yell about and i if it if i'm not obsessed with it why would i waste an audience members time so when did you do your special is first week of september
so when do you think you'll start getting that itch you like a month i need to go in a couple of bad dates and like get pissed on or something because i just did i did fish the cities in a year or something and like said so much and now i need to like get that fifty cities i think i did forgot scam is this like every week or is it like dude several different cities a week yeah i was doing like friday saturday like one city friday one city saturday sometimes one sunday where'd you film for like santa monica she upset this is such a dorky comedian thing my new obsession is to do a and my last one in irvine my new obsession is to go all around the country to tour and then when you you're special sleep in your own bed why your crew will get your everybody hung and and should be here so i shot my last one in irvine and then this one in santa monica we're in santa monica the road theatre
santa monica college it's a beautiful theater hi i wanted to feel like a club five hundred seats gorge and looks like a spaceship you know because when you shoot in you know i love your other when you're in denver but when you and i would love to i've been obsessed with shooting special con he works in denver the other ones you did the downtown one the other the other ones grade ten looks like armor square it's gorgeous ladies wearing yeah and i was actually do that but then you're and you as you're in a hotel and you're not so and then the night at and then you're tired and you don't have your restaurant you gotta get up in your hotel room and you're like where is food and it just throws off your rhythm yeah so my indulgences to shoot a special and sleep in my bed the night before that i that's smart smart you know because you don't want to be comfortable see you your last as the denver one you talked about denver and weed and that got and you legalization we know that kind of stuff but it's like for me it's like i don't think most people give a where you shoot it unless you make it a cornerstone of what you're doing so it's like i'm going to go all the way to chicago to shoot it no one cares that i've
left all the way to chicago you know isn't it though in your mind that my ego it's in your mind i think yeah maybe i feel like for me and maybe it's just 'cause i'm a girl and i need my shit and my makeup artist in my fucking hair extensions and if i don't if i don't sleep eight hours i look like steve buscemi like i can't fuck around so being on the road it's just i think that's where that being the girl and then it just gets a little more complicated that's funny 'cause when people are like is it hard or being a female comedian i'm like literally the difference is i need my shit my like make up i have to like schlep i have to check luggage when i travel if road one night i'm bound and determined to do all my specials from now on in smaller places why would it bigger places all ego no one cares not only that like when you're watching at home you're sitting in your living room and you're sitting on a couch it loses all the magic of the scope no one cares and no ones going oh look so and so sold two thousand tickets and kevin hart like no one cares nobody cares an i don't even do audience reaction shots anymore
no i don't either ego and then it also do the special card number one if you can see the audience it's too brightly lit number two add to it and then you see the like you know ross ot shirt so you know exactly us whatever like it's like nothing throws me off more than singing no fear t shirt i'm like all that was shot in nineteen ninety eight it takes away the timeless classic thing yeah there's definitely some of those holes in shorts and you're like god why do you think that that's a cheap way to cut away that they like to cut away like they did the directory is was fucking insisting on that he wanted to keep the room that we had to fight about even turn the lights up during the first showing i was like why the fuck the lights on we had like a problem with it stand up specials are so fascinating to me because it's like we get so good at something that's incredibly hard that's very much thought it was one of the things you can do i mean how many people can get up on a stage and make a crowd laugh for an hour how many how many do you think
frozen in the world thousand in the world maybe maybe really good ones for an hour kill it for an hour and might be one thousand in the country maybe maybe prob plus i mean there's more there's more heart surgeons or i think if you really had to be honest how many do you think are great how many i think a really funny when i have five hundred i would say five hundred three hundred million people plus in this country three hundred and fifty with mexicans i think that's probably right five hundred people and i mean how many heart surgeons are there how many neurosurgeons are there thank god there's a bond tons yeah so it's like this is such a weird specializing then we get so good at something that so few people can get good at that so hard i know this doesn't come off like ego maniacal but and then all the sudden you're shooting are special the taping and then we change the circumstances entirely we make it light we do it at six hundred pm instead of it we totally changed the circuit we change the rules of the game the one night
that really matters the most also there's boom cameras flying around interstate behind some truth now i wear high heels and wear your hair down you've never worn your hair down and stand up before but the night that counts are going to your hair down and have make up on it's just like so i tried to make the night that i shoot the special as replicate a night at a norm why did the club as much as possible that's very smart same lighting same number people i was only like four hundred people you know as in my face this is my hair is down in this it was a very big drama that my hair was down because each be a lot of my hair to be down i was like i've never wore my hair down doing stand up why do these people want her to be done well this is actually kind of a funny story apparently chris rock suggested to them that i put my hair down chris rock and that i mean yeah what does he know that because i know about your hair he got he did i can better color black hair that's like me telling you not to wear make up it's very good to us i don't wear lipstick i our lives to
i only for twenty six year or mixer like i'm a fan of his and he's time as well but smart and he told hbo that and then they were like we want you to wear your hair down and i was like did he direct your shooters now i know he's giving advice on things and even when chris rock i'll get the fuck outta here really and i was like luck and some i do believe in kind of things that not always my ideas best ideas and maybe other people know more than i do especially people doing comedy for thirty years so i just decided do it and you feel weird i felt very weird i felt like i was being attacked by like a wild animal the entire time you see me like my hair like forget and i'm like super tweaked out in this special because my hair is attacking me the whole time but yeah it's like it's like playing a sport with your hair down that's what it felt like to get used to shit yeah yeah yeah i can see it and you've got muscle memory and you've got online fighting it but anything that throws a curveball at me while i'm performing i welcome because it keeps me present
well specially something that throws a curveball at you while you're doing a special it's not just performing you're performing something it's going to be like lock down forever ever yeah yeah but that's what i think we are best at having shit thrown in us and us having to sometimes sure but like sometimes representative of the actual material itself in its best form never you know never well i mean there's you know ideally never do the same show twice right so i think for me and the first couple it was all about how do i do the same thing every time like acting or something and i replicate the same thing and then as i i think grow more as a comedian i'm like how do i not do the same thing in a perfunctory phone anyway every time right how do you have just a real present perform and then also be aware that you're filming this yes how do i like nail it but also like be fresh and
prize myself reason why it's important to do more than one show on and i think that super important i actually did one show friday one saturday that's great yeah it was actually grabbing that's the benefit of hbo is they have a little more money but that was helpful to me because the first show is just working out the kinks with the camera guys so that you know you do a great performance and god forbid they don't catch it back but you're really trying to lightning in a bottle in a special yeah yeah i mean when you do one show like diversity bill hicks is relentless live from london yeah yeah it's on youtube it's kind of flat and one the reason why it's kind of flat as he had one show in a theater in london and it was for hbo so it's like this one needed to to ready anything go now no one also the same thing with multi camera think a lot of the reason people thing multicam sock is that it's like it's like filming a play being there stand up is meant
we it's if you're watching it on netflix if you're watching hbo you're getting like it in its second iteration like it's always going to lose forty percent of the magic i mean you go see joe rogan at of the fucking comedy works you're dying at every joke clapping fucking slapping or need going crazy and then you watch it you're like laughing allowed but it's just a different yeah we're not in the flesh in front of me yeah you're not caught up in the trance yes you're not in that i'm saying with multicam's like you know we'll shoot like an episode of i swear when it's there it's funny we're all like that was so funny on this is going crazy everyone laughing and then you go see in the editing room and you're like so much funny if you there yeah there's something weird about being there while someone's performing music too you know you go to like really good music you like really good music and you listen to it it's great but you go see someone do it lives like oh man oh i rarely get to see people perform like
requires mean seal i see a lot of standup it's so rare that i get to see music i went and saw just enter when i was in vegas enter your word magus items at the same time we i was in vegas and after the show i went so just in terms like and i was like after the show i did my show yeah then when he does a three hour show by the way jesus claimed it's three hours with dancing the entire time like michael jackson i had to sit down forty five minutes and of watching his show because my back hurt and he was dancing for three hours non occurred does not play i want to know what he's up to what he's putting his joints semen it really is raped in tissue regenerating probably after twelve and so watching watching him i was just like holy fuck like i was like he is amazing like he dazzled ok i was dazzled and i was like is it news
the doesn't ever like it sounded as if no i'm just used to sing it on tiny screens right right now i'm you that's the same reason that you know people can come up to us in airports good now what's up man what did you fuck and eat for breakfast small screens and then when an actors on big screens people coming to look over that they don't go up to him asking what he's eating you ever take a picture with people and you feel them shaking yes how weird yes very very feel their their body shaking it's just so weird to me because i i don't i have such career body dysmorphia but also career dysmorphia and a very it's shocking i'm always like who the things i'm sure well did she think i am well women like are really powerful woman like you like with like oh my god you're right there like you i love you you're my idol like you would have to be like a lot of women want to be assertive and powerful and they want just want to feel confident and they look at you you're on stage you're talking about
maxine talking all this crazy and you're saying in a funny way of people are laughing and you have the your assertion in the when you're a non seating is all this clear and i can't do that yeah you know and it's like they might i'm so scared and secure i can't not do stand up i'm the opposite i'm so terrified of being invisible and no one see i literally do stand up out of weakness not out of strength i do not operate my motives are completely out of like insecurity and it's funny though that you talk about any admit that though that's what makes it really rare 'cause most people who would feel those things would just like shop yeah put it in the closet get in there good point i need to back back back back back to work and hammer boards on the closet i need to work on line more try to try to impress you today i put eyeliner or eyebrow pencil and i feel like it's melting off
impress me i'm a big fan of eyebrows really doesn't even know you haven't imported and tired until i had to look at the one eyebrow did not look in your eyes to see what that would be like i just notice that you had eyebrows no i contact no but i mean i stand up for me is completely fear driven it's not confident that i'm doing i'm afraid i'm afraid that i feel like you've never done what you just did before so remember is your wife filling her eyebrows i'm not a writer at all that's so funny that there's that you don't know that about your wife i don't ask questions yes mart name the no i sometimes at night smoke weed and start plucking my eyebrows and then i wake up the next morning and they dropped the size and i'm just like fuck did i get a new face last night so i put the tweezers i can't smoke weed and have tweezers in the house and then so like three nights ago i tweeze like an entire chunk out of my eyebrows type to fill it in with an eyebrow pencil
jack feminism you should you should smoke weed do yoga maybe you would like it then here's the problem with me next i really like to feel i need to feel some kind of pain and feel like i'm burning so many calories don't think of yogas exercise there you go i think of it as body maintenance smart because of the stretching a moving meditation for me it's been it's like really helpful for me mentally but it's also really helpful from my body because everything i do is like yes yes it's all explosion in self care yeah well fantastic for that because giant mobile people which i have which is the is our ob loans instead of our muscles which is a lot of people doesn't make any sense to me understand what that means is basically means like so i can like get like knock my hip out of like i'm just like to flexible basically okay my hips are just like i'm just janke i'm a lemon you're very flexible yeah i'm very fine
of all my hips can pop out of socket the pop out of sight when i like when i pop in second and then when i like would run and walk i would walk with my bones my hips and my knees instead of my quad do you know you would be a good striker 'cause it's one of the things you teaching martial arts and things i teach people want it back when i used to teach is you gotta about your using your bones don't think about your muscle interesting thing about fighting with your bones yeah because that what i do way to to do it correctly is like mechanically you have to be using your bones can't think about using your muscles in yes when you become circular and she's trying to use your muscles but we were trying to you bones everything is like done correctly if you do it correctly interesting much more effortless than it seems like if you watch like some of the best strikers they strike in a sort of an effortless way mister guys that do
kinetically they use a lot of muscle that get the job done but efficiency like the best way to do it efficiently it's kind of been mapped out and the way they do it correctly it's almost like seems counterintuitive but you're using your skeleton do you know martin snow now he's got a gym called trinity of boxing on numbers i think and his was he was helping me what are those little things you put in pools that help you float floating on this little thing yeah so he would help me punch the floating thing yeah lot of boxing trainers yeah exactly so that i read for defense to do so i would do that what exactly what you're talking about because i would try to hit use all your mouse and i'm too much on the line i'm too much
but yeah so i was putting so much pressure on my knees and my hips and my ass i had no ass development at all like i wouldn't use my ass i would use my back if i'm going to live something i would use my like vertebrae dangerous yes instead of and then what happens is if u dot overtime that's how we get non collision injuries when you at fifty five you sneeze and throw out your back it's just so much pressure is built upon your bonds micro you know when people are like i just sat on the couch and throughout my neck you know stuff like that is that once in the fucking in the shower i like turn to grab the shampoo or something like that yeah yes yeah just hits you but it's a strong bring the camel smells like this drive that breaks the camels back and i had to drive to vegas and there's a long time ago
i'm in my car driving i remember i couldn't turn around look behind me so when i had to look behind my head literally have to body like this to look behind me so for you is yoga about stretching yeah and my mind too i know my mind 'cause it 'cause i have the same sort of internal dialogue issues that i'm sure you probably do so i just dialogue that means you have two people in there there's a bunch people went to my log animals in their plants is all sorts of shit going on areas lv there's a lot of stuff about keeping it to
yes what it's about money i know that that's the next thing i just i have so many prejudices against yoga i have yet you might be the first person i have yet to meet someone who does yoga who's not batch it crazy or annoying or annoying so i can literally every whole foods parking lot is a bunch of people with yoga mats being complete assholes just 'cause you have a yoga mat doesn't mean you're cool now it's fair that i meet someone who does yoga who abides by the principles of yoga at all it's hard fine it's all like anorexic unemployed people it's also where we live that's true we live in a place where everybody trying to reinvent themselves or pretend to be something i think they create this false narrative giant part of why we're here we're in magnet okay this hollywood attention magnet and all these metal filings these people that just so desperately want to be special they come to this place and if they do feel like they're special they go with that guy seems special what's he doing well he's wearing wooden beads and he likes yoga i gotta get some of that i'm doing now must day i'm doing
yeah i mean tofu i don't even i don't yeah i know how to answer how modified its nine yeah i and i also like this place i don't know where you are on this i'm like on self improvement overwhelm so it's like it's by the time do all the things i need to do to improve myself it's like four hundred and thirty the time you got a like therapy and work out and meditated yoga it's like i don't have time to it's a full time job yeah try to take care of yourself it's definitely a full time job if you do it right and that's why it's really hard for people that have full time jobs yeah to take care of themselves find it overwhelming yeah you get how to shape you get tired you know you can't indulge in hobbies if you're a full time job and you have a family and god forbid your behind on your bills so then you have to work overtime or pick up a second job in fact it's a luxury to not be crazy it's uh tree to not have like the body trohman to her yeah i got this woman who helps me cry
israeli can help you like i just figured out what is wrong with me i thought that was hot i just learned everything i need to know about myself i failed that were drug test she girl thing is that you you're basically your body's a blueprint to everything that ever happened to you and as a kid all the drama and emotions that you were prestar like held in your muscles and because of our bodies react faster than our brains that true to something that if it's a kid if i was abused and i used to do this i'm plunging for those of you listening as an adult if i flinch at something all of a sudden it's going to signal my hippocampus the amygdala tells me have a campus something bad is happening even if it's not you're over thinking shit is that possible probably you go to a check to make you cry just go for a job i never cried until i was like twenty seven what i never cried i never so i have all this like the
in my existence you've always been a crier released no that's why you're healthy and that its release crying as a solution no prob yeah i don't cry about ship with me though that's what's weird you should that happens to me doesn't make me cry into other people peoples tragedies and it's an even sometimes positive things correct made me cry that's helping high i learned that crying is a weakness and you're not allowed to cry and if you do cry you're going to attract attention of dangerous people who are just gonna make things worse so just like pretend like everything's fine well i think that there's whatever crying is this overwhelming emotion that is also like horsepower overwhelming emotion when it's manifested itself or when when is manifested in a positive way or when turn it on and use it in some ways fuel for something else i think when someone says to you this is like your thing that you a lot with this that's what that is what they're saying is
even though makes you feel uncomfortable because you're insecure because you have this like self judging thing that is is you gotta fucking horsepower there's a lot of get going on is a lot of so when you funnel that stuff into something you can achieve spectacular results in that a lot of people that are like dull or they're they're just not much going on there they can't do that you know and that's the difference like it will overwhelm you in a negative way it'll it'll fucking burr your house down if you don't control it yeah but whatever it is when you focus in on something you do some shit that other people can't do but then it's like this balancing act of trying to keep this fucking tiger in control and that's where is your mind your emotions you're you're being whenever the fuck you are you know in some people
have more of it there's some people that are just more now under if you and i would interested in your take on this is that i wonder if 'cause i was very nervous when i like decided ok i'm going to heal my i'm going to fix all these invisible wounds i'm going to like fix all this goodness of like well i still be funny well i still be ambitious oh i used to have a real problem with that when i was young but what if i get mentally healthy will i still be funny i just worry tap dance for people when i was in my early twenties i used to like there was that there was a concept that i would always chase as a martial artist the chase this concept of enlightenment is unachievable goal of being complete total control of your mind being present at all times and being just absent of weakness right you fix yourself you get to this point where you're operating this pure zen state in competition that's what i chased all throughout my in my youth and all through my teenage years up until i started doing comedy and then started doing comedy i was at this weird place was like i shouldn't like
try to meditate and i shouldn't try to calm myself because i should be kind of fucked up 'cause that's all the great one like whether his prior orcinus in which they were all fucked up bruce imagine how great prior would have been if he was a little more sober and how long much like who knows i don't know but i was like okay i can not i mean i'm killing myself right like i can't live this way anymore and if if caught if i'm only doing comedy because i'm up i probably shouldn't be doing comedy that's the call you know what's that like scott we lens wife yes talking about yeah that lawyers find trending glorifying diction addiction yeah yeah yeah actually that drug god damn i had a cell ninety is so nice but it's not it's two thousand and fifteen now because all the people that are addicted to pills anthony bordain did so recently about massachusetts and one of the things that they were taught about in the massachusetts show of his show com parts moving part
parts unknown he was talking about these people who they were they were interviewing because it you know anthony had a serious heroin problem when he was younger he was talking about all the people that became addicted to her because they got on pills and it was so easy we get and then they were prescribing like fucking crazy when i got my nose fix my doctor prescribed me two different opioids yeah what and i didn't take any of it i was like my nose isn't even hurt yeah it was like mildly uncomfortable once it was done but they get that a day mission and then the change the laws made it much more difficult to get the pills and then people got desperate 'cause they're addicted and they need it and then they went to heroin and they were talking about this uh whelming heroin issue in western massachusetts and i guess a lot of parts of our country yeah i mean a lot i mean just the more i learn about addiction this more scared i got because a lot of it is genetic too
you know they say genetics loads the gun environment pulls the trigger for drugs you know so i know that's it genetics that's a tattoo and some really hot girl who i met on men dance and i know that because i am an addict i just my drugs not some sins as my drugs control and work and you know people who are in any in adrenaline you know because adrenaline is an addictive substance and you can get addicted to adrenaline in utero if your mother is under stress it's called epigenetic imprinting whatever chemicals that your mother is producing in eudora here so if your mother in utero is producing adrenaline and cortisol you're going to get addicted to that very young so i wasn't adrenaline addict when i was out of the gate yeah so michael irvin was telling me that michael
he was telling me about the problem with young kids that were raised in really hot oral environments violence and crime and constantly in fighting mode in flight mode you're around violence all the time your body just becomes the engineer to handle that from the womb yes and i found that i and this is sort of what half of what i've been recovery for is that i found that i felt very comfortable in dangerous situations and completely benign situations felt fear do you think that's because in dangerous situations it's like the circumstances already laid out familiar i know how to handle this yeah drug addict someone abusive violent is my comfort zone giving me the drenaline quota that i need this is what i'm designed for i'm in the ring i only know how to deal with my gloves on when the gloves are off that's when concern 'cause i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop then you're also in your own head and like spiral out of control what's wrong my eyebrow hypervigilant
hypervigilant you know and because it my phones going where silence meant it's a common for this i mean things like ahmed meant someone's about to come home drunk someone's about to shits about to hit the fan so it's very hard for me to relax which is probably why yoga is hard for me 'cause it's like once the other shoe going to drop you know it you're staying the you know ptsd is a huge problem with soldiers plaza i talked to a lot of guys that were special forces guys like special ops with the rangers or green berets or navy seals they don't have nearly as much of a problem interest because they're the antagonise yes they create the drama active guys are going out there in control they're going out and going there hunting down people whereas the guys were sitting around waiting to be attacked those are the ones that
freaking out predators were say i kinda ones are stationed in the place and they're being attacked all time those guys get rattled in there i would also be fascinated in the special forces a couple things that interest me about them is that number one the ones that have the most ptsd and depression when they come home are the ones that didn't kill anyone because they feel guilt and shame really yep that they didn't kill anyone really yes there is this i'll send it to you i dated a guy who is really into seals and made a movie about navy seals and stuff and then they probably because there again like the perpetrators like you said and i would imagine i'm curious if it's chicken or nag the guy that the guys end up being navy seals if there i don't want to say socio pathic that's being extreme but like they became seals because they have less of their less sensitive united mean 'cause the guys that make it aren't always the toughest of the biggest in the strongest in the fastest is the most emotionally tough if you become a seal are you already predisposed to be less traumatized well there's
that's the case with a lot of fighters as well there's a lot of really physically talented guys that never make it they just they fall part emotionally and they fall apart mentally and they can never they can never achieve greatness that real fucking close and there's these what we would call jim legends where in the him when there's no stakes it's not difficult they fucking shine they look fantastic guys it's like people actors who are good at auditions some are aren't some are good with this weird inauthentic thing and they have to pay or i mean comics who are hilarious in the parking lot and bomb onstage yes do you think it yeah totally do you think that it is a level of i mean i've been around that you've been around more athletes and i have but what i having dated a couple athletes there's this disconnect this lack of empathy and i dare i say narcissism that i don't know must work for them in order to become an elite athlete
i would imagine you have to have a healthy level of like narcissism and ego i think there's probably something in that i think ego and athletes like it goes it's it's so hand in hand specially with pro athlete it's so hand in hand that you got to think man there's got to be some sort of connection there here's where your delusion on some level that got away yeah i'm invincible but here's where it gets interesting with fighters it's not the case this is the the best fighters all most have like sort of a zen ability to block all that bullshit out they have a belief in themselves but they have as an ability to block all that shit out and that's why there is some of the most friendly people some of the best here are some of the nicest people have anderson silva wanna fucking nice guys you'll ever meet he's so friendly and sweet and he's always like hugging people and smiling and laughing and he was a fucking murderer when he was the champ and he was one of the best ever like i could go down the list of the best guys frankie edgar is one of the best featherweights in the war
you speak like sweetheart fucking nicest guy he's so nice and he's a fucking assassin inside the octagon box or person from i don't know anything about this field but my ex had a boxing gym who add i think was canelo canelo alvarez and he doesn't watch horror movies or only watch is like will ferrell like sweet like you know doesn't allow negativity in his brain smart at all because negativity breeds negativity and paranoia and he doesn't want to strengthen the part of your brain that even goes there you know it fucks with a lot of fighter social media i can't even they can't even imagine they go on these message boards and these people calling him pussies and faggots did not work for against you could use that as fuel or do most of 'em against them most him against because they are dealing with their own fears constantly so they don't want more like what you are and who you are is in some ways defined by what you believe
if you are insecure and then that insecurity gets reinforced by other people calling you a loser you know that guy fault could chew how much are you get in there and you're like fuck my choker head yeah and its strength in a neural pathway like my work with this therapist she's like a trauma therapist and when i was going to really bad breakup i was not allowed to talk what i swear you're going to like this you're not allowed to talk i was not allowed to mention the person for twenty days so that we we can the neural pathway of even thinking about the person so you're strengthening real yeah you're strengthening neural pathways when you think like when you read tweet about thinking you're an idiot and reconnecting those ideas in your head yeah and then it's like the same way you quit coffee it takes twenty eight days to create a new habit right 'cause that's how long to developing thought it was ninety i think it's twenty eight for a new neural pathway ninety four i don't know you probably you probably know more about this than i do
i don't know maybe depends on the habitat obviously we're both saying i think actually neither one of us fucking know we're talking about someone google it and hit a song twitter i read someones facebook or call neil degrasse tyson i don't know back not sure but i know that twenty eight days is the minimum for rehab because of that but ninety is really when it really matters makes sense that there's pathways for sure because it's one of the hardest things for people to break is habits that's also like one of the best ways to develop new creative thoughts yeah is to do new things yes like take so completely at your house or senate and your environment at your comfort zone this is when i'm trying to write something new all re arrange the furniture in my house yeah because it just it's a great many new like the couches and it just gets your brain thinking outside
i like to go places i go places and sometimes i would go places like i'll be in my car i'm like you know i'm a fucking drive somewhere i've never been before and just get out of my car just go somewhere i think it's good to just be in a place but you're not you should just like mix up your brain will you get new perfume that sounds dorky but like i know that sounds crazy but new smells and use that new colours new everything so one black when i write i know that's so stupid it might just be superstition because it's no i try to work colors because it stimulates different parts of your brain different others music smells candles if i'm starting a new script of new candles sage like stuff that just like stimulates your brain you know but i'm interested sing oh no none call maine call maine sorry yeah i know that did seem very random glare mode uh girl fat ugly guy so don't don't have the same thoughts but he's very
creative and he was doing this thing where he took this cameraman tour of where he writes and is now he's all horror writer so his office is filled with like all these weird trinkets and object and statues and books and and all cool shit and the reason being is that like he has designed this area is creative space to sort of stimulate his imagination awesome what do you do when you sit down and write with your process smokin noin that's what i do but i rights over to but i'd like to like to write so high that i like feel like i have to get the words out before they slip away that smart well it's like what you do onstage when you dig a hole for yourself it's something like sort of but obviously there's not as pressure when you're writing but i feel like when i'm right i like to get outside of my own you my own i own my own
troll like that's the thing that freaks people out most about pot is the paranoia what do you do sativa or indica i do both but i like sativa racquetball one for like hanging versus working you just just yeah ok we notice is definitely are you investing in a weed thing there's something right now i'll talk to you about it off stage off stage pyramid scheme no how i'm joking i think probably is probably benefits to both to city van indica like india is better for sex it's better for food is better for relaxing sativas i think probably it'll be better for creativity but sometimes not sometimes indicates a great first they're both good yeah it's not that much of a difference in the effect is there's differences but both of them have very similar creative enhancing effects at to me
i'm convinced that everybody has a different reaction to a because of core explain my reaction to marijuana to other people and i'm like well yeah you know yeah and they you also have to be a seals have to be as smart as you you're not mean an creative and driven and etc etc i think alcohol to like i've talked to people that like i know people to get angry and mean on alcohol like they want to go out and get it do you think that that's who they really are maybe do you think that like the truth come when you drink maybe we could but i know people that drink in their nice turn like hamster eyes the loss over the like they're not even there anymore something happened to me the day i turned thirty where i could not drink tequila anymore i was like the day i turned thirty it was like i was having like a dinner is like a birthday or something i was at chateau marmont someone sent over us my kind of new sent over she could to keep oh and he was like i bet you can't do more shots to kill and i can was it bill cosby
the day the day i woke up with my underwear around my nail insulted that he didn't try to rape me but that's another story that same thing with you make garbanzo georges hit on you i'm like no now i feel bad and so sent over shots and i'm competitive so it's like i will crush you i woke up in my bed fully clothed looked at my phone eighty missed text messages did you go home with john mayer i was like i'm never drinking tequila again wow yeah i get it when you get it did you go home with john mayer is it from a guy or girl it was from oh tons of got it was like it was a whole staff working with so it was like thirty people texting me you're not going home with john mayer we're not going to let you go what are you doing dear the bunch of cock blocker hanging out with a bunch of cock blockers that's what i would say i know it's not like you're going home do anything for john married wanna date me for two months two months that's when you look for it spit you out don't spit on you
speaking with my whole entity out the entities and you put in a lot of them out there you four yeah it's seth macfarlane's new friend courthouse now the other one so who else the guy with the ponytail with rich girls any shield villatoro from fear and loathing in las vegas now you wanna type man you ask the woman that one day watch that movie no is it good watched a bunch of times in the phantom werewolf sterile movie shitty movie by watching the back and sometimes when i write so you have movies that you have in the background when you write sometimes you have like specific go to movies sometimes sometimes like i like pudding images playing in the background and then i don't have the sound on sometimes i've music sometimes no music and then do you meditate before or after you right or during no
now sometimes i'm about to go in the tank i sometimes i get high and i'm i'm thinking of going the isolation tank and then i decided to start writing i can't stop that's great i sit down the writing just says or the desert and yeah that's fantastic i remember sometimes sometimes bunch of bullshit i go back and read our measure like frickin how nonsense is this i can't do anything with them this to fucking carrot top i mean there are sometimes i'm just like i'm the worst person that's how it is your mining mining that chipping away at the rock and occasionally you find gold in there and then something i think johnny carson said is that be jokes that we would never do on stage that we write that are like jokes that don't deserve to be on stage add extemporaneously array jokes so you just have this arsenal now of it but there's a heckler like some joke that i wrote that never would make it to stage if i just do it quote seemingly there's definitely something there on a podcast so you're always going to you're going to use everything you write some
yeah and then sometimes jokes are like the seeds and they give birth to a new idea like maybe it'll be just a tagline or a new branch that you have to follow and that new branch will be better than the original promise in the first place i'd totally right i have since my first special i'm on my way i just did my third and i was trying to write about scoring in the first one i couldn't get it didn't get it no one couldn't get it couldn't figure it out the third one i have twenty five minutes of squirting loosely outstanding yes it's like that it hit that that was the right time it was like getting psych i see in porn like i just had to wait for more to be revealed to the world right it was premature the world is right if you blink squirting is real you have to watch my okay i don't want to ask you did there my gynecologist says i'm not just being defensive because i can't do it i mean i tried to do it myself and i peed all over myself
i did i did it my about seven i peed all over myself well the some have a good point i forget who it was but like how is it possible that that didn't exist until like a few years ago porn it's always exactly you know the women in porn use water balloons and stuff the ones that are like though and the p double lazio fountain that that is not real no none of it's real but you can at least ten percent if it is always you're in you're getting paid on at least at least ten percent is always your in you and paid on if you're into that cool but yeah i i feel i don't like that there's a lot of these new sexual things that are making me feel bad like in guys watch so much porn and become so desensitized it all the sudden i can't like squirt water across the room i'm like not good at fucking like why do i feel bad like i'm awesome at this god damn it why have you made me these asian women are put
kelly is it asian asian women scorton i feel like that's sort of where it started and that sort of he brought this up twice the asian subservient thing raisin women a yeah it is so that's the ultimate like quiet so it's like you to view yourself as being like this overbearing sort of force of nature rights just viking lady mister bones just like shrimp way bro yeah and then the asian girls like what do you need to do and i love you mister brooklyn high anything you asshole yes anything you want and so now i think that that a lot of yeah i it's just i'm obviously generalizing but a lot of guys in hollywood just sort of like married asian asian women i was like god really i wish i was asia well some women have real issues with that i mean this girl that i dated she fucking hated when men would break up with her and then start dating asian women yeah
it's like okay i have a giant close and i'm too loud that's going to make you feel it's like if someone broke up with you and then starting a black eye you'd like i thought the yet to deal with it yeah it is yeah and you as like you know what you want but it's not to say that there aren't plenty of sassy over asian one with opinions on shore just the cliche yeah it is the we share the subservient cliche the mail order bride yes but i know that so many guys that i know are like super into that isn't it that like mail order bride is like serious pejorative right that's yes the russian mail order bride so those are dangerous really i think so really yes full me once but just in since environment the russians in general are pretty fucking dangerous but like the mail order right things like like the idea behind it is like now if like you know you had to go sir for meryl oderbruch i thought if there was mail order husband i would have done it five years ago
sorry all my problems emigres i mean i find one thank you in a word i think it's a dot net it's you know what it is it's like a chippendales dancer after awhile you can find out he's gay yeah i'm just gonna i think i've dated and i want to and i think that iraq find great i would love to date a guy got you no shima tosh shima has had to ex husbands it turned out to be gained al this one turned out to be gay no overpay to no whole issues hilarious when she tells the story she's like what the fuck am i at honey i did the guy that i'm pretty sure that everyone told me was gay i didn't really care that much until until i've tasted shouldn't fat black but he was actually very sexual i don't know it's very fluid time guys yes it is gender gender is fluid yeah subject of genders fluid fluid i mean there's a lot of mma guys who are into that i understand i think a lot of fighter
and i want to say emma mae guys some of them have been abused they come from abusive households and sometimes that abuse could be sexual abuse and could be sexual obviously by men and that could lead to a lot of confusion sexual confusion i would think so yeah well there's also like i talked to this guy chris ryan doctor chris ryan who wrote this size good friend of mine wrote this book sex at dawn and he's like an expert on sex and one of the things we're talking about is imprinting that sometimes thing happens to at a very early age even if you're not gay yeah that i that that though those sexual thoughts getting printed yes and there's something called have access which was explained to me by that at present act you know him he's the neurologist guy for the broncos no you love him he was explaining this thing click a texas which is when something dramatic happens but you're so if you're you being
jerking off let's say in something horrible happens you have a positive association with it plane crash yes so was jerking off with nine hundred and eleven happen you just have to watch the twin towers what are you doing in there mike not you have to fill out job now it's rebuff extreme so you gotta go back to the old black and white footage just to fill it through totally so if you have some sort of thing and your use error to eating as a child to deal with drama and so yeah happening and then you're releasing dopamine in your brain and it's associating with something negative so that's a big one that eating one is a big one with people that have like trauma and sue them selves with major it's instant open it's the fastest kind you don't have to go get into a drug dealer you don't have to fuck someone you have to get a hooker it's socially acceptable form of dopamine and you don't have to deal with
people while you're doing it you can shut the door and car yeah wow jack in the box they going to grocery stores like i tend in awhile but just because i was working and someone was going to grocery store for me and recently i'm like i'm going to for myself i'm gonna be a human being and i'm a comedian and you don't go to the grocery store i do i do i do i do not like when i was doing a couple things working at a time now really i just a lot year i started going again 'cause i salaria why do you go to the grocery store i never have not really yeah my whole life you never had like you don't do you have like a someone that no manage your more like no that as i remember when i was like wanted to this documentary i was doing with my ex boyfriend and then i was like why might not working with my ex the state of play documentary which they're still doing on calcio storico and fear and all that but i'm just not like running point on it
why do i bring that up when i said she was ok so can i have like hbo like call like your assistant you're like i don't have to do everything myself and i was like that's so fucking badass what's normal like a person that's not a bad ass it's just normal yeah when i get to a point where i need an assistant i should back off into staying i don't watch i overextend myself too much my luxury is help i don't buy expensive shoes those i don't you know have super nice help is what i and i don't mean that sounds like i know it's lame owner a no no land line employees yeah or just an assistant who like help me with makes my doctor's appointments adjustment as my schedule well i see people that have like dislike whole industry behind them like all these people and handlers too much bodyguards they take with them on the road and they bring personal trainer everywhere and like egypt
too much input is too much data and vandalized yes like well in a way but in what you know you're sort of it's you you're enabling more productivity because you are sort of camino years sort of farming out all this these tasks but i feel like for me personally like i'd value alone time and i value thinking and the almost only way to do that is to not have obligations like you have to have less less people that you have to communicate with it's just more people call back but i think for me like i it's it's so easily distracted and so perfect my perfectionism perfectionism pagets procrastination which we
paralysis so if i need if i'm going to the grocery store it's going to take me three hours if i'm going in this and what about this and this has gluten in a bit like if someone else goes it takes an hour if i go it's like and then i'm in this and then i'm getting a lavender oil and then this fucking salt himalayan salt suddenly i put on the headphones and listen to a podcast i put my phone in my pocket i push the cart around and smiling people and for the vegetables in my cart i have a good old time it's fucking hot hot get laid dare you yes but yeah i gotta i gotta go take my kids somewhere so i got so we're at a quarter to five now gonna wrap this up we'll do this more often we do this why off i would like to let's do it in my life i love you too such a plan when's your hbo special coming up by january twenty third january what to i'm your girlfriend
whitney cummings yeah i'm not powerful in the muscle mass everybody's powerful powerful tiny powerful audience thank you everybody love you guys take care bye bye big kiss thank you everybody for into the podcast thanks to cave banned coffee for getting us through this bluche caveman coffee co dot com go there get some hum thanks also two square space go to squarespace dot com used promo code joe and you will save ten percent off your first purchase thank you thank you thank you to me undies my all time favorite underwear go to meundies dot com slash rogan right now and get twenty percent off your first order plus all orders in the us end canada always ship for free thank you thank thank you to stamps dot com go to stamps dot com use the promo code j re and get a one hundred and ten dollars bonus offer which includes free postage anna free
digital scale and thank you thank you thank you on it dot com go to and and i t use the code word rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements alright ladies and gentlemen that's it for today we be back tomorrow at judah freelander that's right world champ will be here if you don't know judah freelander is fucking hilarious stand up comedian and a great guy and a good friend give it up for judah and will see you tomorrow alright bye bye big kids
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.