Whitney Cummings is a stand up comedian and actress. She is best known as the creator and star of the NBC sitcom Whitney, as well as the co-creator of the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls. Her new special "I'm Your Girlfriend" debuts January 23, 2016 on HBO.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Oh hello, friends, if this sounds odd because uh, I'm in my pool room, meaning I have a table in my house with pool table in it and that's where I am forgiveness 'cause, I had to run out of the studio before I was done. I could do the ads and what I got going on. Uh huh is this Friday December 11th going to be caught theater at the MGM, with the great Joey Diaz and then on the 18th December 18th, I'm at the Bob Carr Theater in Orlando Florida, Bob Carr performing Arts Center, Orlando FL on the 18th, with Ian Edwards JAM. What's going on with my throat? Other dates are all available at Joerogan dot net
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Last one. Last but not least, every week, each and every week we are brought to you by youbyonnit dot com. Every ever on it is a total human optimization website try to do with on it is to provide you The motivation, the inspiration, an all the tools to get your shit together, whether it's inspiration is provided by the Onnit Academy link when you go there. It's filled with workouts of the day differ articles on the science behind strength and conditioning the science behind nutrition different die. It's an recipes of course, there's physical on it Academy, which is a gym in Austin TX, which is just one of the best places to workout on the planet earth and, if you're, in Austin, TX you're. In luck, the rest of arment. What we have is strength and conditioning didn't like kettle bells and battle ropes, steel clubs, including, of course, the artistic
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Dunnan, her comedy is fucking hilarious. She has a new HBO special, that's coming out. It's about January. It's called I'm your girlfriend and she came on to promote it and hang out and talk to us. So without further ado, please welcome the Great Whitney Cummings Rogan experience join my day, Joe Rogan podcast by name all day you're alive hey. What's up, how are you I'm good? I'm I'm insecure, I'm very insecure! I'm very! I want you to like Maine, but you know already, like you know, you're green you're very hard to read, shut up. Yes, when you're sober you're hard to read when I'm sober you want to get high when I'm high hard to read sober me reader to read- or at least you just like people more, I, like everybody, here's the thing about you that you don't know about with our relationship. When I easy, when I
no, you did his arch, your back there, when I started doing stand up. You were like this very mythical. Hero at the comedy store. I came into the comedy store when you and Carlos had your big saga. Oh so you had just like your exodus, you're, very ceremonious or on ceremonies. Rather exodus in the comedy store is happening. I never really met you, but you were like this deity at the comedy store I didn't know that it wasn't there. You are there going there for so I never really knew you like. I feel like so many other comedians that I admire and Lee I had some facetime with and you I only sort of started knowing in last year, yeah well, we met met at the laugh factory true, but I had seen
a bunch of times and I'd like to you again, but we had never vibed. Whenever till we have since, then that's true, but I'm just saying how could you still because I have nine years of you being this sort of very elusive, bigfoot oh like I never quite knew. If you really existed it's weird when people have a perceptions of you outside of you and you like it's weird when you meet someone how perception, then you like? Oh, I like them, yeah, I didn't think I did yeah that happens. Well, I think a lot of it is. It becomes a roshak test right if it comes like my projections on to you and my insecurities like. If I see you and you don't give me what I need to feel secure, I'm like he hates he doesn't like me and visit. A friend tell me something about a celebrity that they met and they were like. Yeah I met on when I said hi to him, but he's a fucking dick. You don't even talk back to me. I go okay,
you just said hi norm yeah, that's it and also needs a deck, and you know anything yeah. It's like you have this idea of what someone is and then based on a limited air action. You create a narrative. You know I so that when people this is going to sound like if I can person bloviating about people that wreck But when you get to use that word, yeah it's a good where I've never use that in my life is a good word because it does fit. Sometimes I ramble- and I want you to read me and if I start getting boring don, didn't stop it and blow beating. But when someone comes up to me, I'd like the airport is like hi Whitney like I instantly. Sometimes I have to say that I'm like I just feel like. I cannot give you what you need right now like what you need from me, I can't give you like. I can take a picture with you, but I can't have a conversation. You know where you're going to walk away from this exchange feeling good about this. Rush. She was this. She was this. You know I get very insecure that I can't deliver what someone needs from a person. They know take it with a guy wear now I'll, never forget this because I didn't know this guy at all and it
after show, you know I say hi to people. You know the whole thing, take pictures and then he goes hey man um, I'm dating this girl and she's about to have a baby? What do you think I should do like what I go, I don't! What am I supposed to tell you? Have you seen the movie the staircase? Now or the jinx Beijing is? Is there how you haven't seen the circus? The documentary is that when he throws a dumpster well now that two women are found at the bottom of a staircase, it's actually it's what people think the jinx s. It's was a Sundance Channel documentary. It was like twelve part documentary series. It's phenomenally eleven really hard. Yes, twelve part! Two! I don't want to give away too much if you guys have seen it tweet Joe of what your it's are on it and, let's all convince him to don't dedicate twelve hours of his life 'cause. I am fascinated speaking of roshak test, I'm fascinated whether you think he's guilty or not 'cause. Usually it is all whether someone thinks it's guilty or not says more about them than it does about the case. Really.
We project the dim the twelve parts, it's a lot of fun from it. That's what I said. I made the mistake of only downloading one. At a time I watched six in my first sitting. It's that addictive half hour hour hour. I promise you. I promise you. I will bet you have a lot more money than me. So maybe we should do this I will bet you any amount of money that you watch it in two days. Damn that's not going to happen. It made me want to quit. Writing 'cause. I was like I will never be able to write something. That's compelling! Is this true life thing wow phenomenal. Why would you just be inspired to write? Could you the fundamental difference between me and you just reared its ugly head. I'm a quitter in you're, not you're, not a quitter! That's that's not true, but you're. A hustler I'ma has yeah people say that a lot and I never know I never know if it's an insult not installed at all. In my estimation or mine, the way I'm defining '
is you're always working. You are doing. Things may be the difference between the similarity between me and you. I grew up playing sports and you learn, I think, a lot of comedians. Don't you learn the harder you work, the better you get and you get that sort of mentality that like what sport I played, basketball. Oh ok, last printing lot of running around and just like those we get that yeah? You know this ass is pretty new. Actually I did. I see you, don't you don't know me six years ago, when I, when I get in a wreck, sick anorexics, I was pretty interesting. Should I use I thought I don't want to but clinically that around, but I was like I was like hundred when I was when I was doing the show with her your regress on NBC. I was like a zero yeah and I had eating disorders in college. I had to stop playing sports was at the
yeah even disorders made you stop playing sports. I had to choose so I was really serious about school played a. U I played in Europe like super cycle about it, and then I started modeling just for money not really fan the modeling, don't believe Wika, Pedia and I was sort of starving myself for modeling and starving yourself and playing basketball for hours a day. Don't go well together, so I had to about basketball wow. So you went with that over food. Yes, huh why'd! You do that it was a moral modeling was paying my bills. It was the way I was raised. Was you know your parents was very valued. My mom I now realize, as an adult and
respect had needing disorder and being fan was very valued in our home. The messages I heard were my mom, who is very you know, skinny was, I have to lose five pounds I sold was about at any one time some compliment her should like now, I'm at I'm so fat right now, like those union, that's how I was. We don't realize you know the impact, those messages out on kids, something we just think. It's a flippant comment. I need to lose five pounds for me like I was like oh she's, a size zero, but you still need to lose five pounds. That's what women are supposed to look like and how they're supposed to you know that Dysmorphia was ingrained in me very young and there was of the sort of culture perfectionism where I grew up in my household because I had was not. I was neglected to quite a bit and it's in.
Chaucer reaction for kids to have perfectionism as a result of that so really yeah, because you think you know you can't children can't understand that their parents have flaws because it would be. You know the just too dramatic to their psyche. So we think parents are perfect if I'm not getting attention. That must be something wrong with me, so I need to work harder, be prettier, thinner, a more success, fall achieve more. You know, which I think is where a lot of you did it to try to get your parents to pay attention to you or head. That's when it started is, if I'm just perfect I'll, get this attention from these people who weren't capable bring it to me and then it sort of started manifesting in other ways as an adult I th I had a very similar thing. Yeah I was definitely as a child, but I think that I sought it out from other people, not necessarily for parents yeah. Well, that's what I you know and and similarly, which is, I think why I had and I'm right and Alan on, so I'm I'm in
every for this, but people pleasing what's Al Anon Al Anon is like if you had any kind of alcoholism in your home growing up which it's not necessarily like. I did have an alcoholic parents and I have a drug addict sibling but alcoholism. You note for alcoholism to be present. Alcohol doesn't necessarily need to be present, so it could still be signified by compulsive behavior. Call ism a codependent relationship and addictive relationship. Monger parents, gambling sex food, all that sort of stuff anything anything. What is Al Anon stand for is actually really good, I do ACA, which is adult child of alcoholics to Al Anon, is more for like if you're married to an alcoholic. If you have a kid who's, an alcoholic like addiction is a family disease and it effects every so I convenient. I know it's Alex is such a fucking pain in the ass. In that regard, it's a very sort of per
just disease because sometimes good word pernicious is a good one, very nice, because it's we're live. I gotta pull out all the stops and we can't fix this imposed, is that it sometimes call ISM effects the people not drinking the most, so I wasn't drinking growing up, but I because of another one, how in sit this alcoholism is? I was acting like an alcoholic I just wasn't drunk thing, so I was like Eragon developed, an ego like I'm the angel. Everyone else is an ass whole, I'm awesome, but I was still going to be getting lying. Managing controlling you know and codependence alcoholics are addicted to alcohol, codependence or acted to alcoholics. So as a result, I'm dating alcoholics I'm dating guys who are illiterate, people who need to get rescued, saved you
naked guys who are illiterate. I dated one guy who couldn't read, couldn't really smell. What kind of text messages you guys out lots of lots of auto correcting hey? Are you a basketball later? So? Yes, I did go through that. I dated of, like alcoholics, needy people troubled people yeah. I have a friend who always date, girls that were really really up and down. Lego. Has you know thank the honorable men? Well, that's the best one ever did I don't, but I did send the man he calls in vampires. He had some bad ones that so it's recreating a child circumstance. So I was the caretakers a child right now I would put my mom to man. I would cook dinner. I was always the one fixing things and trying to stop fights, because I was you know, base my mom as they tell me. I was like a mistake. I was born. You know no one planned me and your mom told you that Jesus yeah, I wasn't it wasn't uh.
How many times are shining moment as a family. When I don't send money, I get reminded how G money your mom yeah whoa yeah. Yes, soon it gets dark fairy malls. Chris Rock said in the hallway it calmly star, when I think you're actually, probably there, he said when you give money to people, it's only a matter of time. They start hating, you move because then they start resenting you'll for supporting them and sort of robbing them of their own dignity. And then, if you have any kind of boundaries, all of a sudden like I will just because you give me money, you think you can talk to me that way and it's like well. No, I'm I'm just like this to have self respect it's it. It seems to me that the people that need money always need money. Like you, and you give the money it's not really helping them and it it's enabling yeah. There's some people that just need money. I mean I've had friends, it just needed some went wrong. Transmission broke fuck, you know, that's one thing, but this the peep
always need money. Yeah. You can't fix that. Nope that hole is just they come back, you all. It turns out. We were late with the payment and now there's interest in this, and that and so do you think that ok and then there's We just had an issue with Bubba Boo and, like oh fucking Christ, this doesn't end. Does it and so in its interest, and I've had to work really hard on the parameters of when I can give money when I can't my system now is basically to only pay bill. Is directly 'cause. That way. I know you do this all the time. So this is an all the time thing. I am cash corner. Maybe in a hemorrhaged hemorrhaging money through my family yeah wow yeah, because I didn't grow up in an environment. No one had health insurance, no one went to the doctor or so now you know both my parents had strokes, nursing
Facilities are great, no insurance like the whole deal. So it's been, but it's it's. You know you talked about me working hard. I worked hard initially 'cause I needed you know. I don't have a choice. I didn't have money, and now I still have to work hard to sort of pay for all these other things, which I think maybe in some way is keeping me motivated because I'm never going to get have never going to be your very weird solvent. You might be like you kind of frantic and all over the place and motivated- and you know you have all these frantic a little bit really yeah, but in a good way, how so powerful God a lot of really yeah yeah. It's all. If it's an armor, I'm a it. Is it's not like a negative thing, but it's like wow that girl get done. You know tent site when I say frantic, maybe that's what the word Maybe the word is pretty kinetic. Yes, stunning is fabulous a good of gracious, but you are not stagnant.
You know you're constantly in motion. Well that a yes, I define you text, I'm sorry to interrupt. You text me like here so perfect example, though doing a dog you Menteri on head trauma. What what the fuck I mean. I know she's touring here in the middle of doing an HBO special you've always got some shit going on. You always got these projects, then you, like I'm, directing a documentary on Head trauma MIKE Watt, was violence right? Yes, yes, yes, you want to violence inside yeah. This is I I yes, I am, but I mean it is the literal disease. I do have work all of them, which means you define yourself their productivity and that's how we use it. My self esteem is drive just Slater what I'm able to make so as you're so aware of all this well yeah, I'm in pretty hard core recovery for it. So No, I am in Al Anon. I do EMDR I'm in trauma therapy, so you addicted to think
he is a high, and you know what I wish. I wish that I could actually find a healthy addiction. I found a lucrative addiction workers out with someone of a lucrative addiction, but I am definitely addicted to waking up and being conscious and self aware. You know, like that's something that appeals to me and I I wasn't in my twenties but again like we were just talking about someone earlier being being a mass, isn't cute in your thirties and forties. You know, I believe, in unconscious and being up for disaster is just not cute anymore. Yeah, there's something about lazy people in their twenties that I find adorable but when I see a lazy guy turned thirty, it's Nike about forty about a forty six year old lazy guy, but you didn't do that yet now I'm going to get to it. What and also as a girl I mean- I mean guys, have the stigma too, but as a girl like you, can be crazy in your wanted. You can't be crazy in your third.
So it's not sexy. That's not true at all! Really yeah! You can be crazy long as you're, not active chat lines. You don't show up at someone's house and break windows yeah. Those days Moreover, those entities are really fast. It's like kind of crazy, big enough to behave like that and get away with it's not really like that. Doesn't really yeah. It's like what you can get away with. You can even get away with you can't yeah. I liked it still. Never they never the tipping point really. I don't think so. I just feel like I'm as a one and you're already anything you do. People want to call you crazy and even if you talk sanely at little to have a decimal level and people are so quick to call us crazy anyway, that I don't want to actually be crazy That's interesting! 'cause guys will never have to worry about that. They don't have to worry about the idea that you're too ambitious or that you're two forceful. I don't like it in
for a man, a man. No, no! No! That diving for he's, decisive he's an alpha he's got his together. It's a turn on and for a girl to be like that is like she's crazy. Should mega pms like she's a psycho she's talking me, it's like! No! I just I I I I like you yeah or like. I need to make plans right. 'cause, I have to schedule my flight. Are we hanging out or not? She stalking me like? Ok. Am I talking. Yet. Do you think that's a power move, though, that people do that to try to make you feel insecure, saying some like your stocking them or sent, you know when people act like that now I don't overthink it as much now to me. It's just more signifies unintelligence intelligence like when someone that went in a fight with me if we're together in you say, crazy, psycho or bitch. I just lose respect for you 'cause, I'm like I know you have a bigger vocabulary than that and if you're leaning
on these sort of like pop terms, in these vague terms that get us nowhere like I'm, going to lose respect for you. Well, those were, it's like when, unless someone really is crazy and if they are crazy, will stop hanging out with them. It's like calling someone stupid. It's not it's, not productive. Helpful like like you calling It is actually you know what some good words Idiot is, pretty good? If you don't overuse it like dumb dumb? tell me I love dummy. I love dummy dummy because it's so belittling I'm not going to stupid, I'm sorry, ruthless ruthless selling good, This is pretty good silly. Silly goose is like you can kind of get away with it, such as silly goes yeah. You can't really get mad at someone for calling you silly goose. You know what the worst insult like. If you want to hurt the person your with, what do you say, you're going hurt them. I don't know what you say. I know that,
but I the most hurt I've been. Is the guy said to me in a fight, not bitch or related curse? What I'm sorry? I think we already. I don't know these days bit bitch and I don't fucking know It was a rental only as far as getting sued. I don't know I'm just it's. It's an instinctive. I have PTSD my loans and saying client is just I'm sweating. I'm already we found the word. None of those were. Hurt me. They actually just make me lose respect for EO, you personally jump but you're pointing out the first time you pointed what I'm pissed induces sees there like clamshells, I grab looks like you're wrapping flies out there. I am like fly trap and is uh, I don't I mean our relationship is going to be over anyway, but we were arguing about something and he goes. You know at Whitney you're a lot, a lot, you're a lot that bother
so that you know it was number one. You don't even respect me enough to be spit. I think with your insult you're going to be vague and it just meant, like all of you is too much like you're just too many opinions too. Things to say you're too loud. It was just like be less of what you are and that weirdly hurt me more than anything. That's so strange you're a lot if somebody that to me I'd like yeah yeah, I'm a lot, but it tapped into an in security that already have that I'm too much for men that they that I have too much love too many ideas. Opinions. I'm too alpha now we're getting deep here, yeah too much for men to guys are not super on board with girls like having opinions and appointments, and you know that sort of thing I've noticed really like opinions in appointments you realize, for the last year I've had my car from guys that I've dated. Why do you hate you
What kind of car you well? I had a GI iva Tesla now, but I had a dragon and I used to park it at the guys house. I was dating we looked at your car, be like Ioboard. I would uber like two blocks back to my g wagon. Shut the fuck up. Why would you do this? It would like weird the mountain emasculate them 'cause. You have a nice car White Dayton broke dude now I know work on that said. Macfarlane hit me I'll. I don't know because I was like I don't. I would never like not date, a guy because it enough money. I don't see myself, you know I don't think of okay, but I guess I did gravitate towards guy. I our guys gravitate towards me who this is. It were intimidated by sort of my Alfa are gravitating towards you, though, yes, there are those guys that get taken care of by women, and it's very strange this is God, no and Amaya. You don't want this guy, this guy that I know he's an actor and he's gone from one older. Well,
woman to another older, wealthy woman divorce. Wealthy woman to another divorce with the habit? Two is you're looking for it, but I think that's what he does. He gets these girls to pay his bills. 'cause. Trying to act? Is trillion bummer? That's so not sexy, though it's pathetic. I've done both just got a ponytail from in sold, I would say that the high suede boots. Sometimes I want to kill him. You can't do that. You're broke. You can do that when you're rich black man, you can't do that when you're broke white guy can't even do that if you're white, if you're rich, you can do that if you're for AL, you can't can Richard Branson wear knee high suede, but no it's completely naked moccasins stitching on the bottom around the are you would you be attracted to a girl who had more money than you who earned it? Who didn't get it bequeathed to her? I have a theory that guys, like girls who her it money, but they don't like girls who earn their own money.
Wow more money than you? I don't think that would bother me, but I don't have a money problem. You don't, but, but Is money, represents resources and on a primal primordial level but she's the alpha. What does it made me? I'm worried about money, and I mean so that could you have it yeah? I've got plenty So it's not like. I don't know engaging something that I can't do when you have money. This way. I've always said everything becomes free. Yes, like do you want to buy a car will go, get a car like things become free when things become free than money stops being an issue when money is really an issue. Is when you don't have it? Yes, When you don't have it, someone else has like fuck. I wish I had it right. How do I get it I'll? Give you some option to give me some kind of give me.
What about the money going? To give me a symbolic and it's still going on yeah said monies will come when we it gets weird you get the standard relationship and a book starts to represent more than just paying for a cup of coffee and a man of my woman, but I do feel like I have become. This is gonna sound, so sexist. I feel like me, king, are being so whatever this thing that has happened where I'm able to pay my bills, I'm I'm doing I'm miming of weird thing, just sort of a funnel this so And what movie is this going away? And it's not going into you it's true guys are it has changed, guys relationship to me. I've notice that ever since I start making money guys said
really want to dominate me, choke me spit on me. I've gotten spit on that did happen to my 20s. When I was broke This one is in my brain broke, guys wanted to cuddle me and, like I, contact and grab your face and wouldn't now that I have money, I'm getting choked against bo here. So there's a way to Gresh I gotta I gotta. I gotta tell me what this is. I think I put his four fingers in my mouth and just leave them there for like two minutes. Let's say I don't know wash your hands now people get sick. Now I have a seven year old, she's sick, because she touches things and then touches her mouth like see. That's how you get so yeah. Well, I mean just learn so much about you. You could never be single by the way. Today you better make this marriage work forever. 'cause you're not gonna, be able to handle the hands in the Mount. It's very unsanitary out there, Joe Ohanneson. Well, I'm not worried about myself. So
Stuck his hand in my mouth work by you, and it was I've spent, did the comedy store for ten years. My immune system is on point. I know I shake about one thousand hands and night after a theater show that sharing a microphone with thirty three road comics. How does a number on your immune system? I never get sick and never get so yeah. She can those hands. Does it yeah really believe that yeah yeah sharing a microphone with Jay London you're good for a yeah, sure he's like Pigpen everyone's going to Ireland and a no results found. I can find some s come extend it. So he stuck his hand in my mouth and I was like this did not happen in my twenties and I and I'm thinking I might get it right you're. Gagging me what I've lost the plot at this point. Did you ask him right? Well, I'm sitting there and I'm like just waiting for something like I'm going to talk about this on a podcast. I can't wait. I'm going to talk about to this guy.
I'm sitting there and I'm like and then from, and I was like. Maybe he lost his balance and you just have to come up and he just like me just like like had to commit. What does it mean to be like so and then I was like. Maybe he was worried. I was going to speak or 'cause. I am public Weisha swan. Maybe he just to stop me from talking. I don't know what it was, but this did not happen in my 20s and I was broke well bit on in the face spit in the face in the face spit in the face. Wow, that's dark! Yes! Was it a broke out of spit in French? Now? Actually wealthy? Yes made more wealth in the you know. Maybe here's the thing. Here's the thing about my this nebulous wealth that I have everyone. Thanks. I have way more than I have, and it's been in the press that I have all this money, so I think guys
Do you have more money than me think I have more money than that which I sort of yeah I see so maybe it was he he thought I had more than I. So we want to spin you yeah. He went gorgeous. So you know bitch with the Tesla, I'm the boss, you think you're so cute with your tv shows I'm about to fuck it. Do you like a thai hooker? There are people that liked, though that's where it gets weird and if you date, someone who likes weird shit, yes, and then you go to someone else in, do you like I work girls. I've had that recently, where I I dated so I was in a relationship that was relatively sexually perverse and then dated someone who is v Very not at noon way overshot. The mark he said was that I mean ever. Is this I'm just fuck it I'm going to be single forever after this progress I did have. I what time 'cause here's, what you do now anymore, covering Jesus Christ, the when you. This is too graphic.
I feel like I'm, covering a lot of the stuff that Neil Degrasse Tyson covered on this podcast. Are we being are we just talk about the moon, landing? You have to bag on dicks. Now now you don't yeah. Well, if you don't will be exercise, yes, you will be. Your head will be pushed down. Yeah guys push! head down and you oh shit. This is happening. I'm like I have a fucking. I would Tesla two blocks away. Why are you jamming my head on it and then so I just thought: that's how you did it and then I dated this guy and I did that and he goes oh. No. No! No! Oh my god. Stop Don't do that because I'm actually not turned on by girls hurting themselves, and I was like, oh god, I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed and I was like ok, I'm I'm off the grid. I've been off the grid. Now, I'm back.
And I just don't know what's normal anymore, like I don't even know, that's fascinating, It was it's fascinating to be a woman. Who's got a lot of money. We got a lot of power in that sense it, but you know you got plenty all right, We don't have to go over and helpless, I'm not a damsel in distress. I don't need to be rescued with a lot of guys want to rescue girls. I think, if you make more than four thousand dollars! You were in the one percent of the world. You know that now so, you're in the one percent of America, so that's it. You know, you got a lot of money. So most men are dating girls that are like waitresses, orb or our tenders. All the costumes. You dress up, display role play by the way, really we and bartending they don't have yeah it's it's. That is when I really realize, like all my gosh guys, love us to be able and like some serbian positions can, but I
new role play well now, I'm just saying it's very telling that the only sexy costumes available or like waitress, candy, striper or secretary. That's a good point. Nurse there nurse nurses, not subservient, they're kind of taking care of it's not doctor right. True, there's! No! doctor there's no ceo, there's no there's only been a fighter, but there is the the fantasy of like the boss, who calls into the office and makes your pussy that's a good point, yeah there's a lot of that? There is no porn movies That's encouraging but it's always like the guy has to dominate the boss. Yes right, yeah well, yeah, it's always she's like. Where is that paper and he's like this paper dick in your mouth. It's always like that. It's never like she's like you're fired, and then he just leaves in jerks off right yeah. You know old, weird dynamic, though the now that you're making me think about it. I've never dated a girl who made a lot of money.
Date a girl who made more money, the main that's for sure, I'm thinking about it. Never I don't think so. Maybe when it was like really broke, I think that, like recently divorced guys into it, alright 'cause, they don't have to pay 'cause, yet they just had to pay. Give You know their shit away, so I feel like they're a little more receptive to so I literally was saying friend, like hey, set me up with your recently divorced friends, they'll be into it, but anything that there's like there's a br. Dynamic right. There's a lot there's a lot of different kinds of people out there you have find someone who is into a strong woman, but not it a beta man. That's the thing again or I want someone who's more alpha than me. You don't want to male feminist who's, like catering to you who is like a beta who wants to take care of the kids, it doesn't want to work and so stay home and an equal. Some of that. I I lose respect for people very quickly, and so I need some competitive, so today is that at your predator, that's true, not a predator, in a bad way, but you
Predatory instincts are a c weaknesses. Yes quickly, yes, good point, I do now, and once I see it, I cannot see it. That's why that kind of freaks out when he said you're a lot, because I'll tell you a lot but I'd say it's it's a good thing like you're a lot he had on my and security of I'm not feminine and, like I just want like in a relationship. I don't want to be the alpha. I want to be like this observing and obsequious asian girl. Quite frankly, I don't want to to be the boss. In my relationship. I want this is turning into some weird sort of dating advice. I know what I will you stop. Letting me talk to target so good at sucking. Dicks is a disaster. Fascinating people are excited about. This right now is do that their pants off all around the world. It hit me up on, but you don't want to pay their bills. It'll get ugly, we'll get ugly I'll pay that I won't pay the Austin
Sabol bell like I'll pay, the valley you pay I'll pay, the half of the house in the vacations. You cover the valet. How about that? That sounds like a good deal. I don't want anyone to think I'm pink 'cause. I did date, a guy that did not have money and I would wire him money and so that he could pay. When we basically, so that when we went out to dinner he could pay well, so that people didn't think I was paying yeah. Was it. I'm not gonna do that again. That was like a week ago, That was hashtag bizarre. Well, I would imagine that it's probably very hard. I mean you're saying it's very hard, but I would imagine that that's hard anyway. I I you know again, it's the you know, I'm not like. I need to get married tomorrow and did it, but you know so I'm not, but it's all you know is good comedian, the Good NEWS about being comedian, as you like, I could use all. I could Alka Mais this and sublimated this
pain into jokes. So I just try to use it. Well, you been doing that a lot on stage you talking about this kind of stuff on stage oh yeah. Yes, I did in my last special I have not done. I have not done stand up in since I shot special. I try to take like I try to take like three months off after every special, because I feel like number one. I don't like doing all material 'cause. I feel like the hat like I just feel like gross and then two I feel like I started doing a bad impression of myself. If I do it, if I don't take a break and rewire my brain and kind, that's interesting, reboot standout blocks to do that. Stand up, takes big chunks of time off is detoxing. Currently he's got aids right now is in Africa. Just told me as AIDS. She told me: that's not true. Fucking Charlie Sheen him comma
Christ on my God that was have sex, so really yeah, a Ghandi of him now very drunk of them. I could just can't killed as Decca booze. Is that something you can they can bounce back you're concerned. It looks like he's literally my type he's the perfect. For me. I know we have to talk. Drinking problem needs money. I need money, he makes a lot of money yeah. I guess that's yeah he's pretty well, big overhead doesn't live in New Mexico, Arizona, Bisbee Arizona he owns like a shack he's, got the most bizarre how SP an image of Doug Stanhope's house 'cause? He puts it up online. Now,
he put it up online. He tells you where he looks like he knows. No one's going to rob. You know they do. They could problem, there's nothing. There go, go rob wanting to steal, wacky suits and he gets from a thrift store. It isn't any phase. Popov vodka he's got like a laptop steel that will get another one. I saw a comedy joke books to the comedy store. He had that, like plastic gallon of Popov Vodka, there's this house, this is a party that he puts on. I fucking love him. 'cause he's the real deal he's like a real american original. He has a house in Bisbee Arizona. He gives out the address online and people come to his house for a Super bowl party, regular people. He doesn't anybody any they drive. People have flown in from other countries and driven the Bisbee Arizona to come to Doug Stanhopes and they come into his living room. To hang out with him he's got a girl,
print bingo who's being agenda mentally out of her fucking. Mind crazy, like medicated, sees things that aren't there. She like, suicidal, or I heard them on stern, I think you know I don't actually suicidal she's like that, he still having. He still has a relation, but I don't all non sex relationship ago. So it's just not actual because he can't buck or because doesn't doesn't have any desire to interesting, very interesting- I just you know, I think, if you just drink all the time and don't take care of your body just it just like that's a wrap yep, it's well most of you go into sir rival mode. I'm sure his body is just trying to keep him alive. I don't have time to fuck right now. I don't know You know more, like his body slightly shouldn't procreate. Let's just stop this. It could be that
Egrets two cigarettes definitely kill your sex drive. How old is he he's? My age he's forty eight, but you look like you're like Benjamin Button, you're like aging backwards. Well, I workout alot. He doesn't, but he makes fun of me he's like how many surgeries had like I've had a bunch. Surgery is now you like engine joints and all that stuff is ripping them. Are you worried about your of the body from my shorts at No, I used to be worried yeah, but everybody dies yeah I mean yeah. I mean I worry about some things when things aren't going so well. What happens when you don't want to get this fixed? Your shoulder No, no, I'm saying like when things go wrong. I start going. Oh this one might not be good. What's going on here, yeah, fucking shit. I might break things up, but I've had so many things fixed yeah right. Do you think that surgeries now improved 'cause? I heard that the Rg3 surgeries on his knee
not that he r g slavery. It wasn't that the quarterback for the Redskins RG three dozen of football. I don't know the rules, God love that I don't know anyway, yeah the only thing sexier than a guide, knowing everything is a guy knowing nothing. I just like. I don't know anything like. I had a friend of mine, invite me over the Super Bowl party, and I thank God. I had a fucking excuse, but he like the mall go over burgers, more super bowl. Moon wasn't a super bowl party. I guess super wasn't happy till February. It was a football party on Monday Night Football Party. Well, the only reason I know is because the guy that owns it, explaining to me that the knee surgeries that made his knees better than they were before the injury. My knees are definitely better than they were before. Surgeries can now improve your yeah. Well, I've had ACL reconstruction in both my knees and they do it now. Why have one they did the older way, which is a patella tendon graph, where they take a big slice out of your patella tendon, and then they open you up like a fish and then
drill it into the knee the tibia and the fibula, and that one is definitely stronger than a regular acl and then my other one. I had replaced with a cadaver this year, which is even stronger because it some the use, a Achilles tendon, which is much lower. Oh wow, it's that one much less invasive. To like the recovery time is incredibly quick like I was. I went to a party five days afterwards, no cane, no nothing and I was crazy. Just walk around spinning with PAM Plante just walked around. I can even loop full flex station like I couldn't bend it all the way, but you know get enough where I look normal I walked my shoulder and I should have gotten surgery. Surgery would have like, like the way he would have done it would have made it better, I just Didn'T- want to get surgery. How long goes up two years. I just add forty four, well, I had stem cell shots in my shoulder. I was going to go Vegas. I was go
to get shoulder surgery because I had a labrum tear in a rotator, cuff tear and there's some bright apparently have dislocated my shoulder before, and you just didn't know it I didn't know, but that's jujitsu is fun and so brutal yeah when you're engaging a sport for twenty years. The whole purpose sport is trying to break body, got it yeah things go wrong and Yes, my shoulder got dislocated and pop back in place, and I didn't know so: there's some bro and shit in there and then I heard it again from practicing archery and from lifting too much weight. I just literally pulled some of the tendon off the bone, really pulled it off myself. Like I didn't I didn't, do it nope it wasn't like some yanked on it or I fell. I just kept pulling. Shoulder get sort of like shut up pussy early, oh yeah, see that you've got see. I have that inner monologue of if it hurts you're doing something right. That's how I grew up
like these things hurt, and so I never I never say uncle, but you can get if you're. Old are still fucked up. You get these stem cell shots. Now, I'm sorry, I got the plasma where they spin out the white blood cells. Is it that one? No that's platelet, plus Ptpprprp yeah and that's real good? Then that helps healing reduces inflammation and there's a more advanced version of that which is called tradjenta, keen, which I had a series of those done in my shoulder and which helped a lot, but it's more of a temporary fix. It would help. It do see information that would help the pain, but then slowly but surely, because I kept working out the pain. Would you know, sort of re emerged, the stem cell shots were a complete game. Changer wow and people always ask how much of the cost it cost two thousand five hundred dollars, which is a lot of money. I know, but the fucking result one shot. I mean my shoulders fantastic. Now I worked out today. No problems,
no pain. Yeah I mean I did. Ops did rose a doctor from things. It doesn't bother me at all. I can no no pay. I was like that close to surgery. I was like I just can't keep doing this. It used to make all these clicks. It makes way less clicks. Now I used to have to wear that shirt that the good the shirt that has velcro on the back that pulls your shoulders down. It's like I have to wear it like thirty minutes to what the one that who's about school player, on the words that I would know it yeah the call tall black guy. Does that narrow it down it's whatever to short that it's probably a compression shirt but has Elko on the top of the bottom and they adjust it so that it changes the way that you walk and stuff right. I get it yeah, there's well, there's just amazing new the innovations in science and Madison like the what they're able to do. There's this guy things names Peter Welling, the guy who invented rejected I was in Germany Dusseldorf Germany and he has fucking Germans always well. They
have the same restrictions that we had for the longest time, yeah. Well, the fucking the, Fire Bush administration, fucked science and medicine in this country, where they could to stem cell research and then they, finally, how do uh autonomist stem cell all Tom Tallest? Why you saying Togus autologous three fat? They take stem cells through in fact, or three your bone marrow right, they drill a hole in your hip. They suck marrow out, makes them so that they don't have to do that anymore. Now that use placenta from a woman who has a cesarean section out, yeah like that percent, make stem cells. Out of that, and that's what I got on my face. You do yeah, you can send text percent in colostrum, colostrum, Ann apparently lot of weird fluid on my face. Will this guide this doctor? Is there? literally months away from releasing this new procedure that they have that reinvigorates collagen in your skin,
It changes your body's production of collagen and they have some sort of an injection and through injection, your body, reproduces college and like it did when you were twenty wow yeah peoples. This is just going to write. Wrinkles are just going to go away. They like this is fucking complete, total game. Changer wow When is that coming out? Well, they're setting up the infrastructure right now just to deal with the amount of patients the uh whelming amount of patients are gonna, get as soon as this happens is like a trillion dollar business once it launches. Let me ask you a question: would you, as a man, do it fuck, yeah yeah? Why not good? Why not right now I mean I don't think I could get my fucking pay. No, you don't get windows fixed, they don't take. I would give you good knows. Why would you get your nose fixed? I had my nose fix really the inside of it like the Cartledge. Holy shit. It actually made my nose wider in some way. 'cause they shove this. I think it wedges personal to your face. You don't want to smaller now. Thank you now I don't want to have you broke in times tons? I don't even know how many times really Steven gold to get it fixed
like it's broken and once I did, but I didn't get it fixed till. I was thirty nine, but I found three thousand eight hundred and thirty nine, maybe my I have done, but it was amazing. God was the greatest thing. I broke it for the first time when I was five, I fell down a flight of stairs. When I was five, you were neglected. I was a latchkey kid open, York and outside, and I fell down a flu stairs smash, my nose and it's been Krooked ever since, but the inside of it was all fucked up and then from a lifetime of martial arts. Kickboxing is just been hit so many times it was always bleeding. There's always something in there. So you when your nose bleeds using cauliflower ear. Cauliflower here is from the break in the ear when the tissue breaks away it fills up with blood and that blood calcifies That also happens in your nose. So the in out of my nose, which filled with hard calcified blood and it just it is just
smash so many times that I couldn't breathe like no breathing out of my nose like this one is like my left. Nostril like right now, just lock down, and that probably is not good for an athlete. Terrable yeah, especially for kickboxing, is always had my mouth open yeah and you breed race Mouth Guard exactly so it's hard to breathe. And if you open your mouth and you get hit with your jaw open you get fucked up, so it was never good, but I didn't get it fixed for the longest time, but once I did get it fixed was amazed. Music. I know. Is this baby you're like is this? So everybody just lives all the time they shove these big fucking things up. My nose is big, like foam tubes and stretched it out and cut things called It's in there they trim the Turbinates, so they literally change the shape of the inside of my nose and shove. These and, if my nose like a little wider, I use it on on. I get really bad migraines and when we were brain start like trying to
figure out what it was like playing like whack, a mole with how to eliminate certain variables they did cortisone in my sinus is an that made me breathe so much better, Corda Corda zone in my sinus, so you had some sort of inflammation. A lot of us have like sinus inflammation, and we just don't know about and like much less nasal, and I sounded less like Fred Share, which some people like that, though, now that sound for like for like five minutes, yeah yeah yeah, no surgery, whatever no surgery. So, but if your shoulder still fucks with you, you should really think about all women. Have we hold a lot of our emotion here and in our shoulders and neck Stan purses? So my surgeon was like you cannot carry a thirty pound person. You need what
you really can I get a. We have anyone, Joe Rogan, when the new shipment thank them shipped to Russia again the on again, because women we Kerry. I was carrying on my broken shoulder me up, and I do my when you turn on your social, because I mean it's just like a even when This was. I did six months of physical therapy on this right. One which is we've gone through is so fucking boring. You just sit there and up to rock it back and forth and like hold you go to a place to do it. Yeah colon lol, yeah. I did it once and then I went home and I got these rubber band Michael. You are you're, just you're just for sizes, Michael just do it at home, it's crazy, it's so annoying, and then I had to because of you know more about this than anyone. If I heard this thing, it affects laughter and it affects my hips, and that is it's all connected, so I started sort of having to do with my whole body and written in that. That's when I got an really
that happens. A lot of people not getting an, but you like you, hurt your knee and then because of your name. You'll get our anger level to him. Yes problem, because it's all in a man's right now- and I am hyper mobile hi- promote for my removal, which means I you lift and run, and everything with my bones and not my muscles. So I do a re learn how to like doesn't mean in seven hairy, like western European Enim, bread, bullshit sort of thing. I also have August slaughters in my knees, what is anxious, means you get like a bone spur and your bones grow too fast. So I have like: follow what is that thing? It's just like it's a tumor, just like a buck. It's like a ball of nerves yeah. I just was like just we have probably GM owes plus like GM owes. I would imagine plus, like you know, a western european mutt, alcoholism, gene and sort of the bones get like does it hurt, or just I had like a just grew too fast.
Really. Now that I have my mastiff huge with dogs as ' Purebred dogs yeah my mastiff. They were like he was getting getting some like limping issues and it was when he was a puppy and they were saying that his he has too much. Protein is food. You have to buy me a large dog food and I'm like what like were large, breed 'cause, I was hit feeding him like raw yeah, yeah, really healthy, stuff yeah. His his body was growing too fast, wow he's getting, would have a limp, and I thought oh, he might hurt himself. So I brought him in 'cause. I've had dogs ACL surgery yeah, I had yeah yeah, they have notorious. I have a pit and a great, Dane Puppy, who I'm going to the same thing with he's just going. Had this female pit that have both are real rear legs done. She one rear leg like also- and she had this weird limp on shoes walk around with one foot off the ground, so I brought her in they had to fix that if they do it by changing the angle of the bone. They cut the bone so the bone
like it doesn't. You know like instead of it like following backwards. They cut it at an an well so that it doesn't do that interesting. It's weird how they do it. They don't do it like a person with a replace the ligament. They change the shape of the bone. Can I just say something randomness, I'm so glad I mean I'm sure we'll look back in twenty years and they'll be so much new technology and were like. I can't believe we live in a day or we didn't have the the stem cell injectors at our home or whatever, but, like my dad, got sick my animals getting sick. I'm like thank God. We don't live in the fucking 20s when they were guessing. They would guessing like they worked out all the kinks cigarettes yeah. Yes, yes, did you see that movie with Leonardo Dicaprio who played the aviator, how reduce yeah he was doing his parents, Howard Hughes. His parents were telling him like listen to the doctor. You need to cigarettes 'cause! It would make you more vigorous. She scratched cd,
Tokyo, like saying timing is milk is good for you is it supposed to be simply not good. Some was explaining that, because of the amount of it actually strips your bones of vitamin d and some way I'm not an expert, but we might look back when they be like milk, isn't as good for you as we thought. Here's a deal with milk. This is a big part of what's wrong with MEL commoditization pastors issue yeah. So when you're drinking milk you're drinking milk, with no enzymes in it, because it's all boiled down to right here on the show for a year, yeah even cook, over cooking vegetables are not really getting that you know, and some vegetable or bring salad? Restaurant could be the most unhealthy thing 'cause. It has so much fertilizers and chemicals and stuff on well. It can have e coli. That's a big one, because water, that's runoff from the field from pastures, where cows are shitting and then that can That could be a real and women get over fifty percent of their calories from salad dressing.
I've read that some of your couch we drink. It ran shallow Jesus Christ. I like that when are always eat salads and they think they're eating. So hello, eating like solid crew, Tom yeah and and just like the guard, Trans fats and then the almost the worst thing you at the grocery store is just an apple because of all the shit and n and chemicals on it and they died. You know what I like on salad, I like oil, olive oil and vinegar, but good luck trying to find that shit at a restaurant. Really it's hard to get oil and vinegar most restaurants. They allowed to give you a balsamic page, it's true. It's true garbage garbage this boat guy. That shows up with addressing it's flat. It's not good! That guy is not Vagina will dry up and can you imagine whatever guy shows up with his own wine?
over guy shows about a restaurant alone like a map they drink it out of a flask like an adult. How would you feel if you went to a date with a guy and he went to a fancy restaurant and he pulled out, had a bag with him like a velvet and pulled out a satchel, he pulled out his own world say: yes, it has to be a red, the Sutter home Jacob's, going to bring your own wine and it's like a white wine. You should really go die. I have a good one. I went out with a guy who is an actor, and I said that. That's how you mocking you want to be in actor. Do you what a great idea there's none of those and flood the market? He was more of an actress. Actually he had long hair and he likes certain conomy into going out to dinner with them and the guy that was dating my friend The older ladies, the same guy,
the knee high. I don't live in the same division. Long hair is but possibly maybe this guy actually works quite a bit and we went out and comfortably wouldn't have shorter than me or less feels like it, and he was. Bring his hair down when the food came. He put his hair up. Oh Christ, and then when they put the plate away, he took it back down. He's gotta die What do I do just is that why we guns, as I was like. I now feel like. We all need her own handgun. I need a hanger and he did when he talking about like a trip to like ITALY or something and when he talked he be like you know, and then you know, police set me a ten summer geechee, which means take a left there and then so he would. How can a dallion and then translate it? For me it was such a bummer so he's trying to let you know that is bilingual.
I don't like it. When guys hurt themselves, you don't need to gag. For me, it's not a turn on. My mouth is Numb's. Fine. I've had a lot of really 'cause. I have just sort of single e and, like I also went on a date with who, at the end of the day, put his hand up and said you, alright dude wow it's a rough one. It was wrath. Alright, dude! I think I had been shot right, dude why it was actually like. What's this? What's this thing here, it's like a green screen. All the way back, yeah so like going for a very hard high file, is going to give you a lot of impact, throw a ball and you're going to go, fetch it, and then that's what I guess I would like that's when I realize, like. Oh I'm now, gender neutral. No, that's not!
don't seem, as I don't even I think the I think what you've nailed it already. Is that there's a lot of guys that are intimidated by the fact you're successful, an ambitious, and I think that's a that's a legit concern. I was listening. Listen to this TED Talk TED Radio hour right yeah! I listen to that listen to one of the things we heard about the salad dressing. Do is one of the recent ones uhm. I figure out what the name of the title was but a disruptive leadership so. The one with the woman was talking about the word bossy and about women are told to be bossy like if a man does it he's assertive, but if a woman doesn't is the first time that ever heard that that I thought oh, maybe there's something to that. But then you never I've never know once I'm going to say Joe Rogans Bossy. Well, not I don't know what to be took called bossy, no you're selling he's like a certain, but it still say I was bossy ability. Okay! Well, maybe I'm doing something wrong like about you know like a lot of times, people get carried away or get caught up in the
momentum of their own behavior and don't even realize other acting someone else to tell you hey, being bossy in your oh, but they don't read about guys, like they could say the guys that he's a dick he's, overbearing or whatever, but a woman becomes bossy but then is going on about we shouldn't, which meant to not work and take the role of child rearing and let the women work, and I look at this. Bitch is crazy, new GEN, it's like this whole men and women. It's like you was personal. I think it was. I think was her own trip that she was like trying to like make it and more normal for men to do that, to be the one who takes care of the children, and we should encourage this, and I don't think you, courage it one way or the other. You know I think there's going to be a bunch of but like that, just I know a guy who is a mom 'cause. His wife works all the time. She's like a high powered executive but she's fucking miserable. She were
all the time and the husbands always like. Let's go on vacation and like she makes a ton of money, doesn't make jack shit. Yeah he's a very bright guy to his professor, but he like teachers, like one class, rides his bike everywhere. He's a fucking total hippie she's fighting grinding grinding every day and they make tons of money, but it's not on him. It's a weird dynamic. Whenever we're all together, I'm like wow, this fucking relationship is so odd. I mean it's interesting. I was talking to this Nuro Anthrop,
just how long, how long he you would like I'm actually so I'm this project that I'm doing has a lot of like sort of experts in it. It's like Roger, because it's a pilot for HBO, where I have instead of like a you know, a friend who's like the exposition friend was like you know you should do you should get a makeover. I instead have you know, people TED talk, people, and you know Malcolm Gladwell, of Michael Moore and anthropologists general. Just common answer explain what's happening because I think a lot of us server pretending or are misinformed, thinking that we have choices and all of the decision we make when so much of it as our primal reptilian brain just running the show and human nature taking over, and we like feminism like, of course, I'm pro feminism, but human nature and evolution of neurology doesn't catch up as fast social progress. Does you know so? A lot of this is against some level of human nature. So I was asking him if he thought humans were inherently a major ocular patriarchy and what,
those are patriarchy and watch our major case. The line lions are pretty much matriarchal in terms of they sort of do all the work, and then you know male lion sleep twenty two hours a day, just sort of but the mail lines are much larger in the middle lines protect the pride. Yes, the real matriarchal societies, hyenas hyenas, yeah, yeah and Beno BO. Apes, Dino hyenas the females have fake dicks now unless they have a faux penis, they have an actual penis and they give birth out of it. It's an enormous penis and they may the mail, so the only mammals with females are larger than the males. Well, and it's because life is a heinous, so ruthless that male hyenas were regularly eat the babies so to keep them from eating the babies. The woman the games to be bigger, bigger and stronger, and they dominate the men and fuck them. They fuck them with their giant fake dicks, yeah
I don't savvy as I've ever seen you by the way. It is a good lead, no problem with wildlife. I him, but it's a lot. I love it, but it's also what what does patriarchal mean and what does makes our community as a mean physically bigger, doesn't mean someone. So you know the female lines during hunting. The male line is pretty much the boss. They, you know, call the shots and are like bigger, but they have to sleep most of the time to write preserve their energy and it's not economical for the them to be up and running around, but Nobo apes. The then sort of call the shots in terms of who kills, who and who's in charge and there's sort of like have the resources and stuff and because there're gynocracy is that what it's called They use their vaginas to you know like if someone they fuck up, yes, a gynocracy, so they use sex to sort of play Kaden to get what they want, and I wanted to order yes, essentially exactly and so is that you know that in humans we would say that's a weakness. You know, you're being not true at all. You know, that's fucking stand,
you're, using what you have to make. So we were talking about that and that he sort of Being a strong argument that humans could have inherent matriarchal traits that we, you know, oh press there, we oppress yeah, just in terms of like you know, you know what is power mean, and you know men are sort of designed to do the hunting in the killing and protecting Anw sort of designed to do all the organizing and all of the like rush it work, but we're not sort of allowed to do that. The society so organizing or like family organizing, raising the kids making decisions about a loan to you, don't think so. Well, I don't know I mean it's. It's I think that were criticized a lot when we do what we do best at you know, work crazy and neurotic and obsessive and she's obsessed with getting married and nesting in the house, and she wants to change the carpet. It's like that's what we're wired very
I think the way men the reason why men will criticize that is 'cause. They don't understand those instincts, like my my wife takes care of everything she's is the one who is like responsible for all the thank you to my house yeah. The bill like this is in your house. Six house work. I have a few rooms in my house, their mind, yeah, clearly yeah the most, the houses, my wife's design and all her and treat this letter. But I go I'm not market because I don't understand it, but I don't make fun of it, but it's and I think what I should mention as I think that women are shamed for that more than men, shaming women. I think that there's this thing now, where, if you're like grated organizing the house and cooking and cleaning like you're, not minister, it's like well. I hate that word. I don't. I am word feminist, so not it's it's so loaded, and it's not that I don't like the quality. I just don't like. I did this so many hash tag: feminists, yeah, there's so many people that there's people that I I'm obsessed with our go to their twitter page, because every post they make is about gender, the
most of their identity is based on feminism, there's a giant chunk of what they do and they think they're being activists, but you're not and a lot of feminists or a lot of feminism doesn't mean being equal. It means women should be superior. It's like wait a second. I thought the goal was that we were supposed to be superior at, which means that we should equally be judged and criticized, and all these other things that you can't be like to speak out, but you're not allowed to attack me or question anything. You do your massage, your massage right. If you question anything, I say it's like no, so I think that is a very tricky place. An I'm I'm working on this thing, that's sort of a out. How are primal neurology like what annoys you about my wife today? Not you particularly our one hundred point nine by now, I guess I would always about your boyfriend today is what kept you alive two thousand years ago, so essentially all the things that your girl going through your cell phone today, two thousand years
was her surveying land for tigers and fresh. You know today it just manifests and going to your cellphone or gear for threats to the the next step. There's we have street lights now right have alarm systems, you know not. You know you don't need to be like you know, looking for pop prince, because there was a tiger around, you need to be like checking the cell phone and going through his computer in his email. So you know that's the same impulse, we're not just gonna vault overnight to catch up with cell phones. Well. This is so many classic there's so many classic stereotypes when it comes to to gender roles, and one of my favorites is the feminist. That's always turn with rape and they constantly have all these rape to it's and rape awareness, and then you look at them and their morbidly obese and they have pink hair like what's going on here. Why is your entire existence how much of your thoughts, whatever whatever you're projecting online. So much of it is about gender and then they mock men like there's all
this Mra mocking, like someone called me, an Mra, and I literally had to google it 'cause. I didn't know what is that men's rights advocate well feminists, who mock men, who want rights which is hilarious. It's about well I mean it's all selects loaded. It's also loaded so loaded and it's a few cool ones give everyone a bad name. It's like does. Every football player beat up his girlfriend, no Ray Rice did so we now it's in the site. Geist. Then I have this woman, Christina Summers on my podcast a couple weeks ago and she calls herself the factual, feminist and she's an older woman who grew up as a feminist, in a time where she believes that it had a different meaning and it was a true search for equality, but now she thinks that it's been sort of hijacked with fake facts and buy a statistics and a bunch of studies that aren't really based on reality and she confronts them and she's like this is bad for feminine.
When you go around saying that women make zero dollars and seventy five cents on the dollar. This is bad for feminism, because what you're not talking about is what are the jobs they choose, and this is the difference between the jobs they chew, they're, not as dangerous. They don't when they would do the same jobs. The difference in pay it out very similar, yeah hi. This is so this. So these are disingenuous comparisons, and these statistics are biased and agreed, and I think that you know I talked to Maureen. Dowd wrote this article or two weekends ago in the New York Times about less women in Hollywood and less women. And he saw that- and I think that my sort of point she's a friend of mine and we're working on something together, but I think my point when people ask me about like what do you think about women directors in Hollywood? I'm like no ones talking about all the offers we get that we pass on.
So no women in late night, you think that they would make a show with Amy Poehler right now is that the host of late night show right. She they don't cover the women that pass Amy Schumer's offer the daily show when she passed right. No one talks about that right. It's like I've been offered direct movies and I am drug running next year, but I've said no because it's just not something that I really want to do why the less female comedians it's like I mean now. I feel like there's not as much but it's like because the- Lifestyle is fucking stressful. It's the same reason. We might not have her own football league 'cause. We don't want to play a sport where we have to put a helmet on it's just like you know so So I think it's a harder gig for a woman, I think name, one female comedian who is married with kids. I can't Um there was everybody Mcfarland, that's right, but she's married to a comedian. She gets to open for him on the road right and they pass the baby back and forth like a football totaly comedian suck at football. So you can probably hit the ground well, she's, she's a child.
She was on a day to do it together, yes, and they have a great relationship, yeah they're, they're, funny together, yes and she's, very talented as well, but yeah, it's yeah, it's good point! It's very good and I have a like. I mean I even struggle if I keep female comedians who have like good relationships. Restaurant it will really ship. So it's I think it's the same thing that we're talking about it's hard to find a guy who can deal with a woman's got a strong personality. You want a lot of guys, like I want a woman to be cute watt. No fucking way. I don't. Can come see. You left up no fuck. Now nope, it's like it's like my dirty little secret. It's like I'm cheating, I'm literally, will be like cheating on the guy in with Stan. Look, I'm not run a Starbucks in a like a do. A set of economists are come on down. I will not let you are not like the guy, I'm dating see it yeah. We spy talk about all this off stage. Thank you. There's there's there's work around.
I think I don't need establish yeah. Maybe it's just the wrong guy. Yes, I got one hundred percent, but I think that your dating bimbos so who else said that to me it might have been Callan. Actually I do date, the combo. Yes him like a chauvinist. I was dating like professional athletes and Well, that's why you know. I said that use the word frantic but energetic there's to two you've got yeah much like in a lot of men? You know they just don't they're not going to match that you know and some time, when, when you see like when people like if they eat you, they hate on someone like there's a people that hate on like Kevin Hart or someone like that. Was he backlash? We ambitious ambitious, ambitious. He makes you feel lazy. I'm vicious, and I see Kevin Hart and, like I might be lazy yeah, I might be lazy in comparison to him. Yeah I mean it's really. What successful people do right as they just sort of illuminate our insecurities
ourselves for a lot. They hold a mirror up to what we don't have yeah and a lot of people. They don't do well with that and instead they start attacking that mirror. Yes, yes- and I heard a quote along time ago, that stuck with me, which is that comparison is the worst form of violence against yourself, and it's one that I know you're, probably not a big quote, inspirational quote person, but that's one that I stick to it. Whenever I get stuck in the heat. She's got this and I don't and she did this and I did enough falling behind and all that sort of it's a good way to look at it, because, instead you should look at it like fuel that can come people feeling that you get when you see someone kicking ass, yeah, your sub mass, you know, go, go home and write. You know exactly what work out. Good yeah Jim has something of the same twenty four hours. You know yeah we do presumably and that that's how you get better yeah, like you, don't get better ' 'cause you're the shit like in your better everybody like I while it. Why would I even try like those days are gone? Yes like that, doesn't exist anymore. Does not this one genius to come down for them out with all the great ideas? No you have to
he surrounded by other people that also have amazing ideas and also by each other. I mean it's tricky because I feel like when I hear the word ambitious. Maybe it's to your point about the word bossy and the disruptive leadership thing I feel like when we say woman is ambitious so there's this weird thing on that word like it gives me like a little bit of it, makes me recoil a tiny bit 'cause. It makes. I don't know why it's kind of a dirty word when people say I'm ambitious, I get uncomfortable, but I think for me I noticed recently and third just turned thirty three. I don't need to be famous like that's not something that like I need. I realized that I want. I think that in the beginning I was like,
So I was not seen and heard as a child. All I want to do is be seen and heard, and then, in the last, like three years, I've like done some like work on myself and woken up, I'm not like, like just flying through space. Unconsciously. The way I used to that's made things very clear for me in terms of when I wake up in the morning what my goals are and how I just want to be good. I don't want to be famous, and that makes my life a lot more sort of chill and I also think that if I had a really should because I wouldn't work as hard since I don't have kids right now, when you say you want to be good what what? What do you define that by do you good with your stand up, yeah yeah, that's pretty much. Every good stand up and I know- and I think you're very funny by the way, every person like you anyone, that's good. That's pretty much the most important thing like you know. I do a lot of different yeah, but if anybody ever said alright Joe, you have to pick one only one thing: yeah, it wouldn't even be this. I even think it's his no thought. I can always
enjoy conversations with people without pudding on a podcast I could always in watching the UFC without being a commentator, yeah yeah. But what would you do for free for an occupation, when would you still do it for free? I do stand up for future based, I don't think I've ever gotten paid to stand up actually up to lose. That obviously have never picked up one of my fifty dollars drinks with a common start. I don't pick a mommy pick them up. Yeah Tommy, probably ate them and fucking creep, but I I think that you know for the first time and I'm curious when you know you're good 'cause. No, I mean no comedian, it comes up stages, Could I stand where I was like. I should one that I didn't suck sock yeah. You know, and so I know that my last two specials I can't even Y que- I cringe even thinking about it. It's like looking at a photo of yourself in the eighties, with what you're wearing is like a god like this last one is the first time I wasn't like this is great. It's first was like: ok, yeah. That was well it's so hard because you're so close to it you're there with it all the time. So none of those jokes
surprising to you know those jokes upon you and that's. What comedy is all about comedy is all about. Like you have an id, you start with the premise, and then you say something in that premise like when you say: if you start talking about a clock, these are doing a bit about o'clock. Yeah you doing a bit about the clock, MIKE okay, we're talking about clocks, any surprise user said like yeah, that's half of what comedy is and that's not available to you. Yet. No because if you're saying it's a magic trick, it right, no, the train, no the trick, so it's so hard to like and also you're so close to it because you're chipping away at it, and the only way to be good is to be like constantly introspective and constantly objective and constantly analytical- and it's fucking brutal, it beats you down. I just know that if I know that this last one I taped on tape night, I still kind of giggled at some of.
The I still cared. I still gave a shit about what I was talking about. I wasn't phoning it in. I wasn't wrote just saying something I had said six hundred times, but I still felt this sense of like I'm saying something I care about which to me is all I can ask for that's the key right to be in the moment, while you're talking about the subject. Is you write it you film it a year later, if a year later, it's still relevant, they were matters. It's like! Ok, that I've succeeded. Do you. This is my what about stand up and tell me if you agree. I think that when you're, when you're on like everything is going great, the audiences laughing really loud. You know it's like everyone's tuned in. I feel like it's a form of hypnosis.
It's interesting, I don't, and I'm actually not bring this up because of your occupation, but I think it is very stand up is very much a sport for me. I agree that it's hypnosis. Yes, it's very it's like to be the only things I compared to our like sacks and boxing, because you can't be a second had you can't be a second behind the other. The audience is fifty percent of it. I can't just do ninety percent, it's like what I do next depends on what you just did and it does become a very like hypnotic symphonic. That's why hecklers don't realize what a fucking master. They are like how they're fucking things up, because your fucking, the rhythm of the interaction sudden you have reared you're, ugly head and now everything has to focus on you and the whole trance has been trance form yes totally and you've truncated. This like vibe, if not encourage ing this 'cause. If I talk about this, maybe I'll get increase the amount of hecklers I get. I sometimes like hecklers 'cause. They keep me awake,
You don't fall asleep at the wheel. Sometimes I fall asleep at the wheel. You do a lot of sense. Is that what it is yeah when I'm getting ready for a special on like like trying to time it out. I'm very embarrassed about this and I have shame around it, but I work wait it out in the word document and I'm like a geek. I record every set and I do the same set in time it out and have four new tags I'm going to I try wanted each show like I'm, not a savant. It gets up on stage and just writes on stage. I wish I was that person I wish. I could pretend like I just why you wish that, though, that's the shame, and maybe this is like a high school out of two, but in comedy they're still that you know the person that gets an after school like the person who tries the least is the coolest wow. That's so weird the thread that would come from athlete. I I I feel, like people, think I'm a nerd, because I try so hard and it's so
strange that really ought to be a woman thing, maybe is suppression of the ambitious woman. Yes, it's got to be hot because I literally have like all my jokes typed out in a word, I can I come in the comments or just pretend like I'm winging and one of the following on the day we do is we should for having a notebook? Sometimes what the it was sent to shame a man for like preparing that so, like you doesn't work, are so good. I go as well, you're you and he's a great dude. I write out of my favorite things a Taliban one time because you know tell has a new our every six months. Right and he's like writing is composition, but before Show- and I can't member what communing come up to him- you know some middle.
I was like what do you do when you brighten joke? Or what are you doing in detail? Goes, I'm writing jokes ever heard of it, and it was just you know an opportunity funny, but just so like yeah, the greats write shit down. Did you receive my Greg Geraldo and Dennis Leary going at it crashed the fucking bag? First of all, Dennis sitting there like a fucking in Alaska, with a leather checking with sunglasses on he's, got sunglasses on inside during the filming right. Everything is going great for him, he's on top of the World and Geraldo keep coming up with these funny line really at yes, I am, and he goes as guys always guidelines with yet Dennis this is a common. Should we write, we write down how many writers, yes the man in the He you know he should tell my car's got John. You have a tv show where you're showing is actually how to show just canceled yeah. I have to watch it. Mark Ameren made fun of me one time about that too, like while I was on his podcast and he was like he's like you like right, jokes you do like jokes-
and I remember being like wait, I'm so I don't is that we're doing here like I limit like he was saying that is alternative community. It's very looked down upon to have like dead, dad punched, find set up punchline. He was trying to say that that's a bad thing you have Joe. I annoy mark very much why just the fact that I like have jokes and write jokes and prepare and like there's something that has jokes. He writes job does, but it's a little more. It feels more unscripted and ics temper and yes and like in our model, Just you know Sort naturally funny or something whatever I'm not next. Brady is a funny. I have to work. I mean I'm a geek, I have to be a geek. I feel like there's a there's a benefit in doing both things I think, there's benefit free balling and trying to come up with things, improp improvising and exploring the bits sometimes I'll set myself up like I'll dig a hole,
stage on purpose, smart and then try to fight my way out of the hole, and sometimes I don't and that that opens a door had course for sure yeah. You know, but you got to deal with that. You know, but this the in that process yes like sometimes bits come out, but but I also right. I sit in front of the fucking keyboard all the time. I sit in front of notepad all the time and I feel like if I don't do, that, there are bits that won't emerge they just won't and if I don't get him down I'll, forget him- and I just I is always. You know, people always people always, but when people people say I'm smart. I get so confused because I got smart because I was not so and if I was in the kitchen class asking one million questions and taking a million notes like I work so hard to over compensate for the fact that I wasn't smart, that that's how I think Marta loaded word too. It's a very vague nebulous. It's a nothing word. It's thing or what you know it's it's it's accumulation of information is not necessarily intelligence like this. Some people that will say they'll they'll, try to equate the two together and I
you can learn things you remember. Things doesn't necessarily mean you're, smart, I'm inside out of your own way, shit, there's different, like you're, articulate and like ' you're, smart and that way like I just a lot of and spouting out facts doesn't make you smart. It's the same thing. I do I just about out that I remember yeah. That's right, I'm not smart and plagiarizing someone else. I just ran exactly yeah. I just sent a percentage and you think I'm smart. I mean I'm smart about certain things like. If you want to ask me about martial arts. I know a lot about it because I've studied it. My whole life that you're in a site full and intuitive and the you know like an artist when it comes to that kind of stuff. Your brilliant with that stuff. Well the 'cause. You have like sort of one slash. Six sense, you know that's a magical, it's not a six sense. It's just I've been doing it so long. It's just data chunking! people? You know not to mystify sort of what we do we're pulling current back too much when people like you're so good with hecklers, it's like well, there's no heckler! I haven't encountered any exchange. I had with the Heckler
five hundred times, so it hecklers like hey bitch and they think it's the first time. I've ever heard it and I'm like ok. Do you really want to do it? Comedian, club, comics, there's nothing? We haven't even more special You work the store, 'cause, there's! No crowd control, like you know, like I've, had there's like so many videos online of me, dealing with hackers and be like well. How do you get so good at that? Fucking the comedy store, can't even see him, because what people don't understand the common shares. The way admits he lit it. Is you you're, blinded by the light and they're completely anonymous, you can't even go hey full convenient 'cause, you don't know anyone wearing 'cause, you see a black, mass? Well, there's also this thing that's going on in Hollywood, that's very different than anywhere else, where there's a bunch of people that they are not fulfilled like. If you come to Pasadena and you do a set in Pasadena like those a lot.
Those people are not actors so not in showbiz work in Denver. Those are not show biz people through meal, occasionally going on, shows heckler but good point, but those fucking showbiz failures. I think some of the most bitter weird people that you'll ever encounter well, here's. The other thing is, I think that people a lot of times that people that come to comedy clubs there, the funniest friend and do not. I mean you always know when the guys, like, oh you're, the funny guy in the group you're, the funny lawyer funny lawyer, but you're the terror, but you know, but I don't I don't. Colors for some reason. Don't piss me off that much I don't know may because I'm so sick of my own material that I'm an insult is like a respite from my shared or I know I really am, but I don't
totally. Maybe it's 'cause. I usually agree with them just some when they yell insult them like it is a good point. I don't know what it is. Some hecklers that they're good natured and you know sometimes you counter people that are just trying to have fun and those people aren't nearly as shitty as the ones you'll encounter that are just rude. I am so desperate and I'm interested in your thoughts on this, I'm so desperate to figure out how to be present 'cause. I can't do it. It doesn't come natural to to do present in the moment I do to go. Go no! I can't do yoga, can't do it's not for me. My inner monologue is to treasure is that's the whole idea. I think most of beat that down, I'm now doing this meditation practice. That's based on John Bowlby's theory of attachment, which is to try to rewire you pathway, is the in terms of how we attach to people and when you grow up in a chaotic varmint, your man to lead doesn't develop the pathways to your, I think. Is it hippocampus a tell me if I'm wrong and blow the ending
that I conjure brain down, because you're had such high alert as a cat. I write developed an adrenaline addiction so early on that it's so hard for me to calm myself down, which is something I want to mention about smoking pot. A doctor told me that that that I was going to but was saying something about. Smoking is the inhaling of smoking, because you and when you smoke you take ten deep breaths. Let's say if you take ten depressed with how to cigarette that's going to calm you down. So sometimes the placebo of smoking is just the inhaling which I thought was interesting. Makes a lot if you go outside and just take ten deep breaths I feel better with or without a cigarette. Do you know who Wim Hof is yeah the vice guide and climbed to the top, but I do his breathing method before every silly. It's amazing wow have you gotten sick? Doesn't he say you can control your immune system, which is the way we can? I mean I haven't gotten sick but, like I was feeling sick the other night, but I ate a giant chunk of garlic. My kids are sick, like when you have kids Get sick all the time yeah, but enough get sick, like my wife is a lot
have called. My middle daughter has, like pretty good college, had been home from school for a couple of days, but I just I was feeling scratchy last night, so I just chunks of garlic drank all this Kombucha and went to sleep yeah, I'm fine, but my immune system is on point. I bet that I'd be interested in if it changed comedy club I am telling it has something to do with that. Never get sick, but it's also healthy food. I eat really healthy bone marrow. Broadmere is my new thing bone marrow game changer? Do you eat Elk I don't. I was waiting for this to come up. I follow you on Instagram, so I'm just worried like I'm going to go home with so much fucking awesome. Do you cook, you know what I do, but I pretty much bone broth, bone marrow and eggs or the only meets I do wow
bone, marrow bone broth and so on the bedroom. Fucking wolf. I am like a wolf in Hen house. He time alarm off, I'm not tracking both ventually. My ex boyfriend used to call me now now remember that Jodie Foster Movie where she was raised by wolves Christ 'cause. I got no attention as a kid and all I secure movie 'cause. I have no social skills or people skills. That's not true at all, I'm working on it, I'm not socialize. I also have an extra bone in my foot. I'm not fully evolved. Like I'm still a primate got. You have an extra bone you're from like where thumb should like, where, like a webbing or basically have you got your. What is it your saliva test, your dna testing for twenty three and meet you shouldn't? Let me vote they. Play if only for Monday yeah? I see so I am in the I think. Ninety nine percentile of neanderthal deviation really yeah, so you only have some neanderthal, oh yeah, I'm an animal, I'm a truck drug, dark chocolate, I'd like an animal
like- I eat things like I'll just eat like I was out with a friend of the other night and there was like a drink on aisle drink like I'll just drink trash like I'm, just like a like a barnyard vulture like just the way you grew up, yeah like I just like scarcity complex. If you never know when food was coming, you never know when you're going to get attention again. I wasn't socialize like I took my mom just learn how to make eye contact like two years ago. I swear to God, I'm not kidding basic shit I was like not. I used to look like ok, so I'm looking at you now, I used to just look here for eye contact and someone like I'm looking at the like right side, your head, this guy worked with Rob, and finally, one day was like: do you know that you're looking like like he was like self conscious about like his hairline everything? What are you looking at? I was like what do you mean, I'm looking in your eyes he's like no you're not, and I asked all my friends are like. Oh yeah, you always looked like the right of our eyebrow, so you look over there. I would just look over here. Can you tell I'm looking at your eyebrow right now or do you think
look in your eyes. I can't see I'm so bad at this. I do now I'm looking at your right eyebrow right now. Can you tell kind of but here's my question I was like is the right ice to look in the right and the left I supposed to look in the left eye. That's a very good poor. Do I look like to the center of your nose? I think as long as you're. Looking at the eyes, it's ok, I think two eyes look at one. I that's kind of what I'm doing now. You know when There's some guys. This is always insecurity, insecurity with me, some guys when they would fight they would look there. Opponent in the eye so aggressive, I never so intimate. I always looked like in the yeah and then I saw a but I look peripherally yeah look diet like abstract yeah. I see the whole body. I would always look at people like this. I would I know that when I am on stage and if a month not laughing or if I'm not connect like all look them in the eye, and then I that's how you get them closer to, it should be obsequious yeah, that's how you get
them dab sequence when they don't give a fuck with his work there attacking. But I contact is like the most regressive shit. You can think about it. If someone, your trader Joe's in Seminole or like what you want to fucking. Go I mean usually say: hi how's it possible that I'm more aggressive than your job people make art contact with me. I usually famous, and you know that's what they're doing, but even if they weren't, I would just say, hi if you're in another country and somebody stared at you in the eyes, you looked at them and didn't. Look away, I would think that trying to steal my liver, yeah, something well the chance that you probably are carrying a liver with to meet you just have on you at all, deliver back there, you have it liver, absolutely horrible book called source nutrition or something nutrition. It's about how the
our organs of the animal have more nutrients in the meat. They definitely do handles always go right to the liver. That's how they had sat was the Alfa Nashville, something like you kill, caribou, the the alpha wolf. We deliver ever first yeah it it's all about how the human evolution of the brain. I was largely expedited once we start at bone marrow, because human couldn't kill their own food in the beginning, so they would rely on eating the leftovers of wolves and lions and shit, and what was leftover was always the bones and shit that data needs. They start eating. The marrow and then their brain started growing exponentially, and then they were able to start developing tools and hunt their own food. Then they started eating meat again because they hunt their own food, stopped eating the bones and what that was the leftover trash and then sort of plateaued is so fascinating when you think about human beings, because what I've read is that human beings have been in this shape. As far as we know for roughly two
plus thousand years, but we've only been talking for seventy wow so like our ability to communicate, wait was only established about seventy thousand years, so for the first one hundred and thirty one thousand years there was no talking which sometimes talk better is just confuse these people I feel like we can communicate so much better nonverbally. Then we can verbally, that's not true at all and it definitely I'm being what's the word folic facetious. Yes, yes, I know that I talk too much. I should But there's always at these theories about like why the brain is the size that it is like. The doubling of the human brain size apparently is like the biggest. Mystery the entire fossil record of any animal like they don't. No, they don't know what it is. There's all these theories about. Maybe it was the consumption of more protein. But then the problem with that theory is well what about mountain lions? How can they have giant fucking brains? What about you know, but about bears? Why don't they have the biggest brains,
then there's the other theories that we developed the throwing arm and that are throwing arm the ability to throw at something hit it. It lead us to these problem solving skills all these different, because we figured out. Oh, I can develop a tool now I can develop a weapon, but that doesn't make any sense either. The most fascinating was Terence Mckenna's does Terrence Mckenna says he has a theory called the stoned ape theory and his is based on Psilocybin? He believes that and crazy thing. This theory is, it coincides with climate change 'cause two million years ago: the rainforests, the climate, shifted, rainforest, receded into grasslands, and he thinks that these primates, come down from trees and started experimenting with different food sources and one of the things these undulate animals cows and like they would show and then these psilocybin mushrooms that grow in cow patties. Well, they would flip over these Tikal patties looking for bugs and worms 'cause. They were always underneath there to eat, but they also had these mushrooms that were growing on the cow patties and a lot of them, were silly,
I've been mushrooms and that the Psilocybin mushrooms, which were incredibly comma in this area when you eat them in low, doses. They increase visual acuity that make you horny so that would make a better hunter and more likely to breed and then in high doses. They have the transcendent psychedelic experiences, and they would allow them to think out of the box, be more creative, right here right now. Also some cyber has been known to regenerate neurons like there's. All these subjects are doing right now, but the properties of Psilocybin, then this pill white pill of some mushroom pills, sorry keep pointing. It goes then stop doing. That's ok, point the is there to Sept Shrimp like that? Yes, this. What this is alpha cordyceps mushroom say: Mushroom tech is not company everything that you're talking about right now, no, no Psilocybin, his magic, mushrooms, psychedelic mushrooms, for you don't have any psychedelic experience. Nothing no
you could be done. Mushrooms mushrooms, I did LSD, stop scars on my people with myself the wall and one. No, I remember the one time I did like acid acid, like the tabs of acid, was in with each Maryland of the dollars, and we were playing. Do you know the card game asshole? You know where you like. We would do when you lost the card deck. You would cut. Someone Michaels with the car deck into liquid lead. I now hardcore white trash it and I still have like little scars on my knuckles from that and then on the acid yeah, and then I like lost my mind. So I never did that again I go hard. I am a ride or die, and so I never did acid and then I spent the next like eighteen hours being like this is never gonna end. This is never going to end. This is awful, and Anne? I did mushrooms a couple times, but it's not let go thing so the thing about psychedelics is the bad
come from the inability to let go. I had a part time when I first started doing psychedelics yeah. It's like you, try to battle it and you can't battle. You have to come to it. Give in. I was thirteen. I mean. No you're going ability. I know that's crazy! You thirteen she's like if I did it now, I probably could acquiesce it'll most likely. Have you ever done? Isolation tank, no, did you know I'm in Gary in Utah the OM and it's like a. I did like a deprivation tank. That's different sensory deprivation, tank thing different from what is an army gearing not make your it's like a this like wellness place and they have a giant sensory deprivation tank where it's like two inches of water in you float is black yeah yeah old should be allowed, is deeper than two inches.
Ngs are, maybe was more well you two in order for your body, hello, how? Whatever? However many is request? Usually twelve, okay, twelve on your second fat. No, no I'm saying the person's body yeah, two inches your vendor, that was small and a half of your body has to be under water to get whatever it is hello. So obviously you know you're dealing with yes, yes, yes, I have like eleven inches of water right. I love how literal you are. You know what you are you're, the guy in a fight who you could never win. 'cause you just stick to the literal facts and he want exaggerating, is going to lose. So I feel like you're, the guy who look I didn't say I didn't say you were a bitch. I said you were being a. I would never do that now. I'm like like on the for, like you're gonna, went on as I go this way to have an argument yeah, but I find that smart guys like I was dating this guy who's a doctor and I could never I like. Well, I mean it's not like you were there he's like. I was there at two hundred and thirty, I'm like you were late he's like I was like stuck to the technicalities. Well, I think truly small
people don't get involved in relationships with people that argue over shit like that interesting you got yeah. I got beat, but I mean comedians on. I don't know if this is because you chicken or egg. I tend to exaggerate things, I'm looking for two inches of water. I should find yes and it screws up my relationships, because I, if you lose credibility with everything, goes back to you up his relationships with his relationships, not going well meaning- and I I just it's fun to me- or maybe it's a crime. I lean on to us that I don't just take responsibility from. I think it's gonna you until you find the right guy and then we'll be great yeah. It's not that it's just it's it's it's all. I mean it's the same thing with everybody's, like whatever it's like some people have personalities are more compatible with more people. Yes, but your personality, I'm sure it's compatible with somebody yeah find that right person who can who's. You know the right.
You do your lock or vice of I'm just so impressed by you, because you have your career and your personal life are equally successful, just fortunate, very lucky, I'm very lucky, but I also like think about a lot of work on you do things. You know, I think, if you're not like comfortable and either or like I read something today that made me sad. I cried. I cried all times I love it. No don't do that crying. His strength shrink their own ability it was about Scott Weiland from on top of pilots, and it was a story that his wife read rolling stone one generator fi yeah by tragedy. So a dictionary it was not just the addiction was the the way he treats his kids yeah. The way he sort of replace his children. He had a son and a daughter with the first wife and then once he got the new wife and he had a new family. He replaced his family and he just stopped paying attention to his son. Stop him
inches daughter. They never went to his new house and all that this is such a bummer. To me, it was addiction. Know is like this nasty by the way that kids that didn't live with him, we're probably better off. I know that's a fact that maybe you might be, you might be right. I mean being raised in addiction, damn yeah look at her, addiction, you can just you, can never you'll, never win you'll, never you're right, you're right, but I work at it. I think you have to God. If you don't like, especially like taking care of kids like it's so fucking important, you know You were neglected and because I was neglected, I think we have that thing and I had and I'm fine, in bound and determined till like let my kids know that uh, love, am I care about him and I spent a lot of time with them and I'll talk. Not too much just time. It's not on my phone. I'm because I had I wasn't like alone in uh base your ignored. I had people next to me who were not there were with me, but they were.
Hearing me or seeing me, I was invisible, even though people were interacting, which is sometimes more confusing to a child, then just complete absence, because then I'm going I'm being rejected on a minute by minute basis by someone who's choosing something else over me. So when you, the most tragic thing, is when you see the new alcoholism, I think is kids with their parents, or parents are on their phone right next to them. We checked out, but right next to them so you're there but you're not there. That's that's a really common thing, but here's what's fucked up This is something I struggle with an la my friends, have kids struggle with as well. A lot of people become interesting because adversity they face when their children and then you have and in the last thing you want, is your children to experience adversity and but the people that you, like all come for. All my friends came from fucked up households, every single one of 'em. All the Good NEWS is with bullying and your kids. I'm sure they'll be plenty of adversity to break it to you, but they'll be a lot of adversity. I would imagine that you can't
now, but there's always going outside of your sanctuary of your home, and but what I'm saying is they all came from fucked up houses, but this is all but there's also. No, you tell me, I feel like the last generation was just kind of a wash like. I don't know that many people who had like great childhoods- because, like that generation of man, uh huh lism, is so rampant in the 50s. I mean people, don't think about the fact that, like in the 20s this country had to outlaw drink, that's how bad it was for ten years now why it happened, though, in the twenty that's not why it happened. It happened. It happened because they outlawed marijuana right right, but This is this: what happened? What what they did was they try? tried to control the popula. And one of the ways they were going to control the population was out long drinking. They tried you put a shackle on people because they didn't want people going out in the streets and do anything, but what they did is they empowered organized crime and in doing that, what they did was
just made Al Capone rents and made all these people bridge and then once they did. That then they'd, tried to put a stop to other drugs, so they can take these people that they used to enforce the alcohol laws and then forced other laws. That's when marijuana became ITALY right right, but all of it is just a control issue. It's not! It was necessary. In fact, the best way to keep people from drinking is to let drink around them see The disastrous effects like this is why you don't like you're in all these groups, why you, in all these groups, in all these groups, 'cause, you grew up with people that were fucked up yeah, I know touch Coke and one of the reasons why I never touch coke 'cause. I grew up with coke heads. I had coke heads that were friends of my one of my good, Prince cousin was a coke head I saw it from a bunch of people, and then I had a buddy who died from heroin. I've. Never I've, never even thought about dying, and also when you tell people they can't do something they want to do more so like in Europe. You know, I mean, there's a lot of alcoholism, but it's not like as bad as it is here, because it's like yeah go for it. They drink at fourteen and they've got it out of their system, and they have nothing to prove and there's not yeah
exactly they let kids try wine, where exactly. I think it was more control issue than it was anything. It all coincided with world war one- and I think you know there was a bunch of p well that wanted everyone to get back to work and make America strong and not get upset man out of him drinking. But you just create slaves. You can't tell people what they can and can't do with their body. You just can't you can't and then actually is drinking is fun. I like for fun and and then in the 50s, the fucking madman generation. The three martini lunch like people are just. Drinking during the day at the office. It was socially acceptable, so that was our parents and our parents. Parents were the generation. I mean trying to be good Parents that even have the information to be able to be good parents, that we have the information on the psychology and sociology and alcoholism you're the first
parent. That's going like you know what I'm going to see my kid and let my kid cry and let my if I have a boy I'm going to let him say like I don't feel good and not be like man up and catch this ball. You know it's the first generation that I feel like we're. Really no enough to be able to be good parents. Well, you gotta know when to tell them to man up too, though yes going to tell them when to walk it off. You know like, like my five year old, still cry. Over everything 'cause. She knows that crying gets our attention and then I'll go look sweetie. If you want to hug I'm happy to give you a hug, but I know that that didn't hurt. I saw what happened is really nothing not going to enable victimizing yourself really really really hurt 'cause she's five
she still has a lot of extra ws. Yeah pull really everything's, really Lucci topless by Floyd everything like all these woo woo noise 'cause. There still have like a babysitter daddies, Joe Rogan. You demand the fuck up right now. You're, embarrassing love, but you also let him know, but don't ignore. I don't know, hey, stop fucking, crying yeah. If your foot is fine, I don't say that I go look at it just be her gotta. Let it go. It's just a sensation yeah. You know. I read this thing. There's this book called the fantasy bond about what happens when kids are ignored, neglected and all that kind of stuff. That kids would rather be physically abused and ignored. Yeah I've read that 'cause at least they're getting their their existence is being validated and they don't they don't feel like their life is at stake. I dated this girl and we broke up and She did some guy that hit her and I've told this story, but it was very bizarre, is along time ago is a long time.
Locate me up. I was like seventeen at the time, but she He was telling me that this guy hit her and I was like fuck and she's. Like you know, it's fucked up as I like it, and I was like ok- well context, easy. You don't want him to like hit you, because you did that thing in the dishwasher. You want the light slap in bed. I don't think it was a light slap. I think it was like some beating up. It was weird, but also did he was he trained in Jiu Jitsu like you, I don't think she want you to hit her some random guy who's. Not straight debating people did shitty check this thing, I'm fine with Tony him. I live in Maine. I don't want Joe Rogan invaded Puerto knees like watt. Show vegan Tony Hinchcliffe come up the vegan yeah. Ok, we're back, influenced him, ok to the gym a few times. Ok, so look you're not going to get this weight and beans but yeah I think it's like depends on who's doing the
I wasn't even there when he did it last week. For the first time we went to Fogo to child. Not places. I'd stick! Oh yeah. I know what you're talking about yeah. I love how Aug Board of Fucking meat. Do you know my arch, fair story about when he hates me and he hates me at the comedy store? Hazed in the beginning. When I started the comma, I think he we told the story on his podcasts but yeah he mentioned it, which is that, like in the beginning, when I got hey it's so hard to. Please you were not there to protect him a can. You had made your mass accidents in the comments. Are. It was like him and like day, Taylor and all these guys used to just fucking bunch of guys with women kill me I mean they would just make my life miserable 'cause. I was like showed up in my backpack and You know hoodie and I was like had like I'm going to make it as a committee and they're like we're. Gonna crush your soul, and one night ARI stole my backpack and hit it 'cause. I would always come with a backpack, but he didn't know that my credit card had just gotten stolen and I just got a call for the bank. Saying hey some guy stole your credit.
So he was like it's probably someone around you who stole your credit card, copied it etc and then ARI stole my book bag. Put it like up in the back bar like hit it, and then I instantly I couldn't find it started hysterically crying and made Tom turn on the house lights in the or which have you even seen lights on in the older, it's very weird she ghost in there. It's like looking at a one night, stand in the face yeah totally, and he didn't admit that it was him for like a years until I think, seven years later. Well, he was so like embarrassed or the absent or whatever. That's probably not. The right. I don't think, is that what he is out of these capable of that there was there. It was kind of emotions, but he then admitted to me. Finally, that was me: that's all your backpack, that's an arc yeah that and send those in as good a story telling adding on
Do you think I like there is a concerted effort to fuck with women when they start doing stand up, comedy fuck with them emotionally, obviously mentally yeah, yeah and I'm grateful for it, I'm glad they did really yeah. I'm grateful. I've made me for you say that not a lot of women would say that look I now, maybe I'm not being feminist or did it, but I've heard again. I know I never. I am that's why I said it with a tinge on it, because I I again because I grew up playing sports. I welcome adversity 'cause. I know it makes me stronger, so I Don't so rarely complain about it. Like pain, muscle, sore, and all that like, if I'm not sore after a workout the next day, I'm bummed 'cause. I know that I didn't work that hard so adversity at the combination. Storing stuff like new instinctively, you guys are helping me. You don't know you're helping me you're, trying to hurt me, but you're actually making me stronger and I'm grateful. That's a very unusual attitude, though right even for men
or a woman yeah for anybody and when you grow, I grew in an environment that was very like you know, I don't hand, is the devil's work and if it doesn't hurt you're not doing it right through yeah yeah. So I'm grateful that I have that mentality because it it helps. In doing stand up. So you stop for three months. You stop for three million miles. Yeah. Do you do you time it do you aside three months so I sort of like I think, stand up for me is very much like a haunting. You know you get an itch you sort of like have stuff. You have to talk about an instead of like boring your friends at dinner with it or you have a podcast. You have other outlets. I wait till I'm like this is a gross word, but like constipated with like, obsession of injustice like right now, there's nothing! That's like keeping me up at night. That's make that I have to get on stage and yell about, and I, if it, if I'm not obsessed with it, why would I waste an audience members time? so when did you do your special is first week of September,
So when do you think you'll start getting that itch you like a month. I need to go in a couple of bad dates and like get pissed on or something because I just did I did fish the cities in a year or something and like said so, much and now I need to like get that fifty cities. I think I did forgot. Scam, Is this like every week or is it like dude several different cities? A week yeah? I was doing like Friday Saturday, like one city Friday, one city Saturday, sometimes one sunday where'd, you film for Like Santa Monica. She upset this is such a dorky comedian thing. My new obsession is to do a and my last one in Irvine. My new obsession is to go all around the country to tour and then, when you you're special sleep in your own bed why your crew will get your everybody hung and and should be here. So I shot my last one in Irvine and then this one in Santa Monica we're in Santa Monica the Road Theatre,
Santa Monica College. It's a beautiful, theater hi. I wanted to feel like a club, five hundred seats gorge and looks like a spaceship. You know because when you shoot in you know, I love your other when you're in Denver, but when you- and I would love to I've- been obsessed with shooting special con He works in Denver, the other ones. You did the downtown one, the other, the other ones grade. Ten looks like armor square, it's gorgeous, ladies wearing yeah, and I was actually do that, but then you're and you as you're in a hotel and you're, not so, and then the night at and then you're tired. And you don't have your restaurant, you gotta get up in your hotel room and you're like where is food and it just throws off your rhythm yeah, so my indulgences to shoot a special and sleep in my bed the night. Before that I that's smart, smart! You know, because you don't want to be comfortable, see you your last as the Denver one. You talked about Denver and weed, and that got and you legalization. We know that kind of stuff, but it's like for me. It's like, I don't think most people give a. Where you shoot it. Unless you make it a cornerstone of what you're doing so, it's like I'm going to go all the way to Chicago to shoot it. No one cares that I've
left all the way to Chicago? You know, isn't it, though, in your mind that my ego, it's in your mind, I think yeah, maybe I feel like for me and maybe it's just 'cause, I'm a girl and I need my shit and my makeup artist in my fucking hair extensions, and if I don't, if I don't sleep eight hours, I look like Steve Buscemi, like I can't fuck around so being on the road. It's just. I think that's where that being the girl. And then it just gets a little more complicated. That's funny! 'cause! When people are like, is it hard or being a female comedian? I'm, like literally the difference, is I need my shit. My like make up I have to like schlep. I have to check luggage when I travel. If road one night I'm bound and determined to do all my specials from now on in smaller places, why would it bigger places all ego No one cares. Not only that, like when you're watching at home, you're sitting in your living room and you're sitting on a couch, it loses all the magic of the scope. No one cares and no ones going. Oh look so and so sold two thousand tickets and Kevin Hart like no one cares. Nobody cares an. I don't. Even do audience reaction shots anymore.
No, I don't either ego and then it also do the special card number one. If you can see the audience, it's too brightly lit number two add to it. And then you see the like. You know Ross ot shirt, so you know exactly us whatever like it's like. Nothing throws me off more than singing no fear t shirt, I'm like all that was shot in nineteen. Ninety eight. It takes away the timeless classic thing. Yeah, there's Definitely some of those holes in shorts and you're, like God? Why do you think that that's a cheap way to cut away that they like to cut away like they did the directory is, was fucking, insisting on that. He wanted to keep the room that we had to fight about even turn the lights up during the first showing. I was like why the fuck the lights on. We had like a problem with it stand up. Specials are so fascinating to me because it's like we get so good at something, that's incredibly hard. That's very much thought it was one of the. Things you can do. I mean how many people can get up on a stage and make a crowd laugh for an hour. How many? How many do you think?
frozen in the world thousand in the world- maybe maybe really good ones for an hour, kill it for an hour and might be one thousand in the country? Maybe maybe prob plus I mean there's more there's more heart surgeons or I think If you really had to be honest, how many do you think are great? How many, I think, a really funny when I have five hundred, I would say five hundred three hundred million people plus in this country, three hundred and fifty with Mexicans. I think that's probably right five hundred people, and I mean how many heart surgeons are there? How many neurosurgeons are there? Thank God there's a bond tons yeah. So it's like this is such a weird specializing then we get so good at something that so few people can get good at that so hard. I know this doesn't come off like ego maniacal, but and then all the sudden you're shooting are special the taping and then we change the circumstances entirely. We make it light. We do it at six hundred pm. Instead of it, we totally changed the circuit. We change the rules of the game, the one night
that really matters the most also there's boom cameras flying around interstate behind some truth. Now I wear high heels and wear your hair down. You've never worn your hair down and stand up before, but the night that counts are going to your hair down and have make up on it's just like. So I tried to make the night that I shoot the special as replicate a night at a norm. Why did the club as much as possible? That's very smart, same lighting, same number, people. I was only like four hundred people. You know as in my face this is my hair is down in this. It was a very big drama that my hair was down because each be a lot of my hair to be down. I was like I've never wore my hair down doing stand up. Why do these people want her to be done? Well, this is actually kind of a funny story. Apparently Chris Rock suggested to them that I put my hair down Chris Rock and that I mean yeah. What does he know that? Because I know about your hair, he got he did. I can better color black hair. That's like me telling you not to wear make up it's very good to us. I don't wear lipstick. I our lives to
I only for twenty six year or mixer, like I'm a fan of his and he's time as well, but smart and he told HBO that and then they were like. We want you to wear your hair down and I was like: did he direct your shooters now I know he's giving advice on things and even when Chris Rock I'll get the fuck outta here really- and I was like luck and some- I do believe in kind of things that not always my ideas best ideas and maybe other people know more than I do especially people doing comedy for thirty years, so I just decided do it and you feel weird I felt very weird. I felt like I was being attacked by like a wild animal, the entire time. You see me like my hair, like forget, and I'm like super tweaked out in this special, because my hair is attacking me the whole time but yeah. It's like it's like playing a sport with your hair down. That's what it felt like to get used to shit yeah! yeah yeah. I can see it and you've got muscle memory and you've got online fighting it, but anything that throws a curveball at me while I'm performing. I welcome because it keeps me present
Well, specially something that throws a curveball at you, while you're doing a special. It's not just performing you're, performing something it's going to be like lock down forever ever yeah yeah. But that's what I think we are best at having shit thrown in us and us having to. Sometimes sure but, like sometimes representative of the actual material itself in its best form. Never you know never. Well I mean there's you know, ideally never do the same show twice right, so I think for me and the first couple it was all about. How do I do the same thing every time like acting or something, and I replicate the same thing and then, as I I think, grow more as a comedian, I'm like how do I not do the same thing in a perfunctory phone anyway, every time right? How do you have just a real present perform and then also be aware that you're filming this. Yes, how do I like nail it, but also like be fresh and
prize myself, reason why it's important to do more than one show on, and I think that super important I actually did one show Friday, one Saturday, that's great yeah. It was actually grabbing. That's the benefit of HBO. Is they have a little more money? But that was helpful to me because the first show is just working out the kinks with the camera, guys so that you know you do a great performance and God forbid, they don't catch it back, but you're really trying to lightning in a bottle in a special yeah yeah I mean when you do, one show like diversity bill. Hicks is relentless, live from London, yeah yeah! It's on Youtube. It's kind of flat and one the reason why it's kind of flat, as he had one show in a theater in London and it was for HBO. So it's like this one needed to to ready anything go now. No one, also the same thing with multi camera. Think. A lot of the reason people thing Multicam Sock is that it's like it's like filming a play. Being there stand up is meant
we it's if you're, watching it on Netflix, if you're watching HBO you're getting like it in its second iteration, like it's always going to lose forty percent of the magic I mean you go see Joe Rogan at of the fucking comedy works, you're dying at every joke, clapping fucking slapping or need going crazy, and then you watch it you're like laughing allowed, but it's just a different yeah we're not in the flesh in front of me. Yeah you're not caught up in the trance. Yes, you're. Not in that I'm saying with Multicam's like you know, we'll shoot like an episode of I swear when it's there. It's funny we're all like that was so funny on this is going crazy, everyone laughing and then you go see in the editing, room and you're like so much funny. If you there yeah there's something weird about. Being there while someone's performing music too? You know you go to like really good music. You like really good music and you listen to it. It's great, but you go see someone do it lives like oh man. Oh, I rarely get to see. People perform like
requires mean seal, I see a lot of standup. It's so rare that I get to see music. I went and saw just enter when I was in Vegas enter your word magus items. At the same time, we I was in Vegas and after the show I went so just in terms like, and I was like after the show. I did my show yeah then when he does a three hour show by the way Jesus claimed it's three hours with dancing the entire time. Like Michael Jackson, I had to sit down forty five minutes and of watching his show, because my back hurt and he was dancing for three hours non occurred- does not play. I want to know what he's up to what he's putting his joints, semen. It really is raped in tissue regenerating probably after twelve and so watching, watching him. I was just like holy fuck like I was like. He is amazing, like he dazzled. Ok, I was dazzled and I was like. Is it news
the doesn't ever like it sounded as if no I'm just used to sing it on tiny screens right right now, I'm you that's the same reason that you know people can come up to us in airports, good now, what's up man, what did you fuck and eat for breakfast small screens and then, when an actors on big screens, people coming to look over that They don't go up to him, asking what he's eating you ever take a picture with people and you feel them shaking. Yes, how weird, yes very, very, feel, their their body shaking it's just so weird to me, because I I don't. I have such career body dysmorphia, but also career Dysmorphia and a very it's shocking, I'm always like who, the things I'm sure well did she think I am well women like are really powerful. Woman, like you like, with like, oh my god, you're right there. Like you, I love you you're. My idol like you would have to be like a lot of women want to be assertive and powerful, and they want just want to feel confident and they look at you you're on stage you're talking about
Maxine talking all this crazy and you're saying in a funny way of people are laughing and you have the your assertion in the when you're a non seating is all this clear and I can't do that yeah, you know, and it's like they might, I'm so scared and secure. I can't not do stand up I'm the opposite, I'm so terrified of being invisible and no one see I literally do stand up out of weakness, not out of strength. I do not operate. My motives are completely out of like insecurity, and it's funny, though, that you talk about any admit that, though, that's what makes it really rare 'cause most people who would feel those things would just like shop, yeah put it in the closet, get in there good point. I need to back back back back back to work and hammer boards on the closet. I need to work on line more try to try to impress you today, I put eyeliner or eyebrow pencil and I feel, like it's melting off,
impress me: I'm a big fan of eyebrows really doesn't even know you haven't imported and tired until I had to look at the one. Eyebrow did not look in your eyes to see what that would be like. I just notice that you had eyebrows. No, I contact. No, but I mean I stand up for me is completely fear driven. It's not confident that I'm doing I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I feel like you've, never done what you just did before so remember, is your wife filling her eyebrows, I'm not a writer at all. That's so funny that there's that you don't know that about your wife, I don't ask questions. Yes, Mart name the no! I sometimes at night. Smoke, weed and start plucking, my eyebrows and then I wake up the next morning and they dropped the size and I'm just like fuck did I get a new face last night, so I put the tweezers. I can't smoke weed and have tweezers in the house and then so. Like three nights ago, I tweeze like an entire chunk out of my eyebrows type to fill it in with an eyebrow pencil.
Jack Feminism. You should you should smoke weed do yoga. Maybe you would like it then here's the problem with me. Next I really like to feel I need to feel some kind of pain and feel like I'm burning, so many calories, don't think of yogas exercise. There you go, I think of it as body maintenance, smart because of the stretching a moving meditation for me. It's been it's like really helpful for me mentally, but it's also really helpful from my body. Because everything I do is like yes, yes, it's all explosion in self care. Yeah well, fantastic for that, because giant mobile people, which I have, which is the is our ob loans instead of our muscles, which is a lot of people, doesn't make any sense to me understand what that means is basically means like. So I can like get like knock my hip out of, like I'm just like to flexible. Basically, okay, my hips are just like I'm just Janke, I'm a lemon you're, very flexible yeah, I'm very fine
of all my hips can pop out of socket the pop out of sight when I like, when I pop in second and then when I like, would run and walk. I would walk with my bones, my hips and my knees instead of my quad. Do you know you would be a good striker 'cause? It's one of the things you teaching martial arts and things I teach people want it back when I used to teach. Is you gotta about your using your bones. Don't think about your muscle, interesting thing about fighting with your bones yeah, because that what I do way to to do it correctly is like mechanically. You have to be using your bones, can't think about using your muscles in yes when you become circular and she's, trying to use your muscles, but we were trying to you bones. Everything is like done correctly. If you do it correctly interesting much more effortless than it seems like if you watch like some of the best strikers, they strike in a sort of an effortless way. Mister guys that do
kinetically, they use a lot of muscle that get the job done, but efficiency like the best way to do it efficiently. It's kind of been mapped out and the way they do it correctly. It's almost like seems counterintuitive, but you're using your skeleton. Do you know Martin Snow now he's got a gym called trinity of boxing on numbers. I think, and his was he was helping me What are those little things you put in pools that help you float floating on this little thing yeah, so he would help me punch the floating thing. Yeah lot of boxing trainers yeah exactly so that I read for defense to do so. I would do that. What exactly what you're talking about, because I would try to hit, use all your mouse and I'm too much on the line, I'm too much
but yeah? So I was putting so much pressure on my knees and my hips and my ass. I had no ass development at all. Like I wouldn't use my ass, I would use my back if I'm going to live something I would use my like vertebrae, dangerous. Yes, instead of and then what happens is if u dot overtime, that's how we get non collision injuries. When you at fifty five you sneeze and throw out your back? It's just so much pressure is built upon your bonds micro. You know when people are like. I just sat on the couch and throughout my neck you know stuff like that. Is that once in the fucking in the shower, I, like turn to grab the shampoo or something like that? Yeah, yes, yeah just hits you, but it's a strong. Bring the camel smells like this drive that breaks the camels back and I had to drive to Vegas and there's a long time ago.
I'm in my car driving. I remember I couldn't turn around look behind me so when I had to look behind my head literally have to body like this to look behind me so for you is yoga about stretching yeah and my mind too. I know my mind 'cause it 'cause. I have the same sort of internal dialogue, issues that I'm sure you probably do so I just dialogue. That means you have two people in there there's a bunch people went to my log. Animals in their plants is all sorts of shit going on areas. Lv there's a lot of stuff about keeping it to
Yes, what it's about money. I know that that's the next thing I just I have so many prejudices against yoga. I have yet you might be the first person I have yet to meet someone who does yoga who's, not batch it crazy or annoying or annoying. So I can literally every whole foods parking lot. Is a bunch of people with yoga mats being complete assholes just 'cause you have a yoga. Mat doesn't mean you're cool. Now it's fair that I meet someone who does yoga who abides by the principles of yoga at all, it's hard, fine, it's all like anorexic, unemployed people. It's also where we live. That's true! We live in a place where everybody trying to reinvent themselves or pretend to be something. I think they create this false narrative giant. Part of why we're here we're in magnet. Okay, this Hollywood attention, magnet and all these metal filings these people that, just so desperately want to be special. They come to this place and if they do, feel like they're special they go with. That guy seems special. What's he doing well he's wearing wooden beads and he likes yoga? I gotta get some of that. I'm doing now must day. I'm doing
yeah I mean tofu, I don't even I don't yeah. I know how to answer how modified its nine yeah I- and I also like this place. I don't know where you are on this, I'm like on self improvement overwhelm. So it's like it's by the time Do all the things I need to do to improve myself. It's like four hundred and thirty The time you got a like therapy and work out and meditated yoga. It's like. I don't have time to it's a full time. Job yeah try to take care of yourself. It's definitely a full time job. If you do it right and that's why it's really hard for people that have full time jobs yeah to take care of themselves, find it overwhelming yeah you get how to shape you get tired. You know you can't indulge in hobbies if you're a full time job and you have a family- and God forbid your behind on your bills, so then you have to work overtime or pick up a second job. In fact, it's a luxury to not be crazy. It's uh! tree to not have like the body Trohman to her yeah. I got this woman who helps me cry.
Israeli can help. You like I just figured out what is wrong with me. I thought that was hot. I just learned everything I need to know about myself. I failed that were drug test. She girl thing is that you you're, basically your body's a blueprint to everything that ever happened to you and, as a kid all the drama and emotions that you were Prestar like held in your muscles and because of our bodies, react faster than our brains that true to something that, if it's a kid, if I was abused- and I used to do this- I'm plunging for those of you listening as an adult. If I flinch at something all of a sudden, it's going to signal my hippocampus, the amygdala tells me have a campus. Something bad is happening even if it's not you're over thinking shit. Is that possible? Probably you go to a check to make you cry just go for a job. I never cried until I was like twenty seven. What I never cried, I never so I have all this like the
in my existence, you've always been a crier released. No that's why you're healthy and that its release crying as a solution, no prob yeah. I don't cry about ship with me, though. That's what's weird you should that happens to me, doesn't make me cry into other people, peoples, tragedies and it's an even sometimes positive things. Correct made me cry. That's helping high. I learned that crying is a weakness and you're not allowed to cry and if you do cry, you're going to attract attention of dangerous people who are just gonna, make things worse. So, just like pretend, like everything's fine, well, I think that there's whatever crying, is this overwhelming emotion? That is also like horsepower overwhelming emotion when it's manifested itself or when when is manifested in a positive way or when turn it on and use it in some ways, fuel for something else. I think when someone says to you, this is like your thing that you a lot with this. That's what that is what they're saying is
even though makes you feel uncomfortable because you're insecure, because you have this like self, judging thing that is. Is you gotta fucking horsepower? There's a lot of get going on is a lot of so when you funnel that stuff into something you can achieve spectacular results in that a lot of people that are like dull or they're they're, just not much going on there. They can't do that. You know and that's the difference like it will overwhelm you in a negative way: it'll it'll, fucking Burr, your house down. If you don't control it yeah, but whatever it is. When you focus in on something you do some shit that other people can't do, but then it's like this balancing act of trying to keep this fucking Tiger in control, and that's Where is your mind, your emotions, you're you're, being whenever the fuck you are, you know in some people
have more of it. There's some people that are just more now under if you- and I would interested in your take on this- is that I wonder if 'cause I was very nervous when I like decided. Ok, I'm going to heal my I'm going to fix all these invisible wounds, I'm going to like fix all this goodness of like well, I still be funny. Well, I still be ambitious. Oh I used to have a real problem with that when I was young, but what, if I get mentally healthy, will I still be funny. I just worry tap dance for people when I was in my early twenties I used to like there was that there was a concept that I would always chase as a martial artist. The chase. This concept of enlightenment is unachievable, goal of being complete total control of your mind being present at all times and being just absent of weakness. Right, you fix yourself, you get to this. Point where you're operating this pure Zen state in competition. That's what I chased all throughout my in my youth and all through my teenage years up until I started doing comedy and then started. Doing comedy. I was at this weird place was like I shouldn't like,
try to meditate and I shouldn't try to calm myself, because I should be kind of fucked up 'cause, that's all the great one like whether his prior orcinus, in which they were all fucked up. Bruce. Imagine how great prior would have been if he was a little more sober and how long much like who knows, I don't know, but I was like okay. I can not. I mean I'm killing myself right like I can't live this way anymore and if, if caught, if I'm only doing comedy, because I'm up, I probably shouldn't be doing comedy- that's the call. You know, what's that, like Scott, we lens wife, yes talking about yeah, that lawyers find trending, glorifying diction addiction, yeah, yeah yeah, actually that drug God damn I had a cell. Ninety is so nice But it's not it's. Two thousand and fifteen now because all the people that are addicted to pills, Anthony Bordain, did so recently about Massachusetts and one of the things that they were taught. About in the Massachusetts show of his show com parts moving part
parts unknown. He was talking about these people who they were. They were interviewing because it you know Anthony, had a serious heroin problem when he was younger. He was talking about all the people that became addicted to her because they got on pills and it was so easy we get, and then they were prescribing like fucking crazy. When I got my nose fix, my doctor prescribed me two different opioids yeah. What and I didn't take any of it. I was like my nose, isn't even hurt yeah, it was, like mildly uncomfortable once it was done, but they get that a day. Mission and then the change the laws made it much more difficult to get the pills, and then people got desperate, 'cause they're addicted and they need it, and then they went to heroin and they were talking about this uh Whelming Heroin issue in western Massachusetts, and I guess a lot of parts of our country yeah, I mean a lot, I mean just the more. I learn about addiction, this more scared. I got because a lot of it is genetic too.
You know they say: genetics loads, the gun environment pulls the trigger for drugs. You know so I know that's it. Genetics, that's a tattoo and some really hot girl who I met on men, dance, and I know that because I am an addict. I just my drugs, not some sins as my drugs control and work, and you know people who are in any in adrenaline. You know because adrenaline is an addictive substance and you can get addicted to adrenaline in utero. If your mother is under stress, it's called epigenetic imprinting, whatever chemicals that your mother is producing in Eudora here. So if your mother in utero is producing adrenaline and cortisol you're going to get addicted to that very young. So I wasn't adrenaline addict when I was out of the gate. Yeah, so Michael Irvin was telling me that, Michael
He was telling me about the problem with young kids that were raised in really hot. Oral environments, violence and crime and constantly in fighting mode in flight mode you're around violence. All the time your body just becomes The engineer to handle that from the womb- yes- and I found that I and this is sort of what half of what I've been recovery for- is that I found that I felt very comfortable in dangerous situations and completely benign situations felt fear, Do you think? That's because in dangerous situations it's like the circumstances already laid out familiar. I know how to handle this yeah Drug addict someone abusive violent is my comfort zone, giving me the drenaline quota that I need. This is what I'm designed for I'm in the ring. I only know how to deal with my gloves on when the gloves are off. That's when concern. 'cause, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop then you're, also in your own head and like spiral out of control. What's wrong, my eyebrow hypervigilant
hypervigilant, you know and because it, my phones, going where silence meant it's a common for this I mean things like Ahmed meant someone's about to come home, drunk someone's about to shits about to hit the fan. So it's very hard for me to relax, which is probably why yoga is hard for me 'cause, it's like once the other shoe going to drop. You know it you're, staying the you know. Ptsd is a huge problem with soldiers Plaza. I talked to a lot of guys that were special forces, guys like special ops with the rangers or green berets or navy seals. They don't have nearly as much of a problem interest because they're the antagonise yes They create the drama. Active guys are going out there in control they're going out and going there hunting down people, whereas the guys were sitting around waiting to be attacked. Those are the ones that
freaking out predators were say. I kinda ones are stationed in the place and they're being attacked all time, those guys get rattled in there. I would also be fascinated in the special forces a couple things that interest me about them. Is that number one, the ones that have the most PTSD and depression when they come home, are the ones that didn't kill anyone, because they feel guilt and shame really yep that they didn't kill anyone really. Yes, there is this I'll, send it to you. I dated a guy who is really into seals and made a movie about Navy seals and stuff, and then they probably because there again like the perpetrators, like you said- and I would imagine, I'm curious if it's chicken or nag the guy- that the guys end up being Navy seals. If there, I don't want to say socio pathic, that's being extreme but like they became seals because they have less of their less sensitive united mean 'cause. The guys that make it aren't always the toughest of the biggest in the strongest in the fastest is the most emotionally tough. If you become a seal, are you already predisposed to be less traumatized? Well, there's
That's the case with a lot of fighters as well. There's a lot of really physically talented guys that never make it they just they fall. Part emotionally and they fall apart mentally and they can never. They can never achieve greatness that real fucking close and there's these what we would call Jim Legends where in the HIM, when there's no stakes, it's not difficult, they fucking shine. They look fantastic guys. It's like people, actors who are good at auditions. Some are aren't. Some are good with this weird inauthentic thing and they have to pay or I mean comics, who are hilarious in the parking lot and bomb onstage. Yes, do you think it yeah totally? Do you think that it is a level of I mean I've been around that you've been around more athletes and I have but what I, having dated a couple athletes there's this disconnect this lack of empathy- and I dare I say, narcissism that I don't know- must work for them in order to become an elite athlete,
I would imagine you have to have a healthy level of like narcissism and ego. I think there's probably something in that. I think ego and athletes like it goes it's it's so hand in hand specially with pro athlete it's so hand in hand that you got to think man. There's got to be some sort of connection there. Here's where your delusion on some level that got away yeah, I'm invincible, but here's where it gets interesting with fighters. It's not the case. This is the the best fighters. All most have like sort of a zen ability to block all that bullshit out. They have a belief in themselves, but they have as an ability to block all that shit out and that's why there is some of the most friendly people. Some of the best, here are some of the nicest people have Anderson Silva Wanna, fucking, nice guys. You'll ever meet he's so friendly and sweet and he's always like hugging people and smiling and laughing, and he was a fucking murderer when he was the champ and he was one of the best ever like. I could go down the list of the best guys. Frankie EDGAR is one of the best featherweights in the war.
You speak like sweetheart, fucking, nicest guy he's so nice and he's a fucking assassin inside the Octagon box or person from I don't know anything about this field, but my ex had a boxing gym, who add, I think, was Canelo Canelo Alvarez and he doesn't watch horror movies or only watch is like will Ferrell like sweet? like you know, doesn't allow negativity in his brain smart at all, because negativity breeds negativity and paranoia, and he doesn't want to strengthen the part of your brain that even goes there. You know it fucks with a lot of fighter. Social media. I can't even they can't even imagine they go on these message. Boards and these people calling him pussies and faggots did not work for against. You could use that as fuel or do most of 'em against them most him against, because they are dealing with their own fears constantly. So they don't want more like what you are and who you are is in some ways defined by what you believe
if you are insecure and then that insecurity gets reinforced by other people, calling you a loser. You know that guy fault could chew, How much are you get in there and you're like fuck, my choker head yeah and its strength in a neural pathway? Like my work with this therapist she's like a trauma therapist, and when I was going to really bad breakup, I was not allowed to talk what, I swear you're going to like this you're not allowed to talk. I was not allowed to mention the person for twenty days so that we we can the neural pathway of even thinking about the person. So you're strengthening real yeah you're, strengthening neural pathways. When you think like when you read tweet, about thinking, you're an idiot and reconnecting those ideas in your head yeah and then it's like the same way. You quit coffee. It takes twenty eight days to create a new habit right, 'cause! That's how long to developing thought. It was ninety. I think it's twenty eight for a new neural pathway. Ninety four, I don't know, you probably you probably know more about this than I do
I don't know maybe depends on the habitat, obviously we're both saying, I think. Actually, neither one of us fucking know we're talking about someone, Google, it and hit a song twitter. I read someones Facebook or call Neil Degrasse Tyson. I don't know back not sure, but I know that twenty eight days is the minimum for rehab. Because of that, but ninety is really when it really matters makes sense that there's pathways for sure, because it's one of the hardest things for people to break is habits. That's also like one of the best ways to develop new creative thoughts. Yeah is to do new things. Yes, like take so completely at your house or Senate and your environment at your comfort zone. This is when I'm trying to write something new. All re arrange the furniture in my house yeah because it just it's a great many new, like the couches, and it just gets your brain thinking outside
I like to go places I go places, and sometimes I would go places like I'll be in my car. I'm, like you know, I'm a fucking drive somewhere. I've never been before and just get out of my car just go somewhere. I think it's good to just be in a place, but you're, not you should just like mix up your brain. Will you get new perfume? That sounds dorky but, like I know that sounds crazy, but new smells and use that new colours new everything. So one black. When I write I know that's so stupid, it might just be superstition because it's no, I try to work colors because it stimulates different parts of your brain different Others music smells candles if I'm starting a new script of new, candles sage like stuff that just like stimulates your brain. You know, but I'm interested sing. Oh no, none call Maine, CALL Maine, sorry yeah. I know that did seem very random glare mode, uh girl, fat, ugly guy, so don't don't have the same thoughts but he's very
creative and he was doing this thing where he took this cameraman tour of where he writes and is, now he's all horror writer. So his office is filled with like all these weird trinkets and object, and statues and books and and all cool shit and the reason being is that, like he has designed this area is creative space to sort of stimulate his imagination. Awesome, what do you do when you sit down and write with your process smokin noin. That's what I do, but I rights over to, but I'd like to like to write so high that I like feel like I have to get the words out before they slip away that smart. Well, it's like what you do onstage when you dig a hole for yourself, it's something like sort of, but obviously there's not as pressure when you're writing, but I feel like when I'm right, I like to get outside of my own, you, my own, I own, my own,
troll like that's the thing that freaks people out most about pot, is the paranoia. What do you do? Sativa or indica? I do both but I like sativa racquetball one for like hanging versus working you just just yeah. Ok, we notice is definitely are you investing in a weed thing, there's something right now I'll talk to you about it off stage off stage pyramid scheme. No, how I'm joking. I think probably is probably benefits to both to City Van Indica, like India is better for sex. It's better for food is better for relaxing sativas. I think probably it'll, be better for creativity, but sometimes not sometimes indicates a great first they're, both good yeah. It's not that much of a difference in the effect is there's differences, but both of them have very similar, creative enhancing effects at to me,
I'm convinced that everybody has a different reaction to a because of core explain my reaction to marijuana to other people and I'm like well yeah. You know yeah and they You also have to be a seals, have to be as smart as you you're, not mean an creative and driven and etc, etc. I think alcohol to like I've, talked to people that, like I know, people to get angry and mean on alcohol like they want to go out and get it. Do you think that that's who they really are? Maybe do you think that, like the truth come when you drink, maybe we could, but I know people that drink in their nice turn like hamster eyes, the loss over the like they're, not even there anymore, something happened to me the day I turned thirty, where I could not drink tequila anymore. I was like the day I turned thirty. It was like I was having like a dinner is like a birthday or something I was at Chateau Marmont someone sent over us my kind of new sent over she could to keep oh, and he was like. I bet you can't do more shots to kill and I can was it Bill Cosby
the day the day I woke up with my underwear around my nail insulted that he didn't try to rape me, but that's another story that same thing with you make Garbanzo Georges hit on you, I'm like no now I feel bad and so sent over shots and I'm competitive. So it's like, I will crush you. I woke up in my bed fully clothed. Looked at my phone. Eighty missed text messages. Did you go home with John Mayer? I was like I'm never drinking tequila again, wow yeah! I get it when you get it. Did you go home with John Mayer? Is it from a guy or girl? It was from oh tons of got. It was like it was a whole staff. Working with so it was like thirty people texting me you're, not going home with John Mayer, we're not going to let you go. What are you doing dear the bunch of cock blocker? hanging out with a bunch of cock blockers. That's what I would say. I know it's not like you're going home, do anything for John married Wanna date me for two months, two months, That's when you look for it spit you out, don't spit on you,
Speaking with my whole entity out the entities and you put in a lot of them out there, you four yeah, it's Seth Macfarlane's new friend, courthouse now, the other one so who else the guy, with the ponytail with rich girls, any shield villatoro from fear and loathing in LAS Vegas. Now you wanna type man. You ask the woman that one day watch that movie no. Is it good watched a bunch of times in the phantom werewolf sterile movie, shitty movie by watching the back and sometimes when I write so you have movies that you have in the background when you write. Sometimes you have like specific go to movies. Sometimes sometimes like. I like pudding images playing in the background, and then I don't have the sound on sometimes I've music, sometimes no music, and then do you meditate before or after you right or during no
now, sometimes I'm about to go in the tank. I sometimes I get high and I'm I'm thinking of going the isolation tank and then I decided to start writing. I can't stop that's great. I sit down the writing just says, or the desert and yeah that's fantastic. I remember sometimes sometimes bunch of bullshit? I go back and read our measure like frickin. How nonsense is this? I can't do anything with them this to fucking carrot top. I mean there are sometimes I'm just like I'm the worst person, that's how it is your mining mining that chipping away at the rock and occasionally you find gold in there and then something I think, Johnny Carson said. Is that be jokes, that we would never do on stage that we write that are like jokes, that don't deserve to be on stage Add extemporaneously array jokes, so you just have this arsenal now of it, but there's a heckler like some joke that I wrote that never would make it to stage. If I just do, it quote seemingly there's definitely something there on a podcast, so you're always going to you're going to use everything. You write some
yeah and then sometimes jokes are like the seeds and they give birth to a new idea, like maybe it'll, be just a tagline or a new branch that you have to follow and that new branch will be better than the original promise in the first place. I'd totally right. I have since my first special I'm on my way. I just did my third and I was trying to write about scoring in the first one I couldn't get it didn't, get it. No one couldn't get it couldn't figure it out. The third one I have twenty five minutes of squirting loosely outstanding. Yes, it's like that. It hit that that was the right time. It was like getting psych I see in porn, like I just had to wait for more to be revealed to the world right. It was premature, the world is right. If you blink squirting is real. You have to watch my okay, I don't want to ask you. Did there my gynecologist says I'm not just being defensive, because I can't do it. I mean I tried to do it myself, and I peed all over myself,
I did. I did it my about seven, I peed all over myself. Well, the some have a good point. I forget who it was but like. How is it possible that that didn't exist until like a few years ago? Porn? It's always exactly. You know the women in porn use water balloons and stuff, the ones that are like, though, and the p double Lazio Fountain, that that is not real. No none of it's real, but you can at least ten percent if it is always you're in you're getting paid on at least at least ten percent is always your in you. And paid on if you're into that cool but yeah. I I feel I don't like that. There's a lot of these new sexual things that are making me feel bad, like in guys, watch so much porn and become so desensitized it all the sudden. I can't like squirt water across the room, I'm like not good at fucking like. Why do I feel bad, like I'm awesome at this God, damn it? Why have you made me these asian women are put
Kelly? Is it asian asian women Scorton? I feel like that's sort of where it started and that sort of he brought this up twice the asian subservient thing: raisin women, a yeah. It is so that's the ultimate like quiet. So it's like you to view yourself as being like this overbearing sort of force of nature rights, just Viking, Lady Mister Bones just like shrimp way, bro yeah and then the asian girls, like what do you need to do? And I love you- Mister Brooklyn, high anything, you asshole. Yes, anything! You want and so now I think that that a lot of yeah, I it's just I'm obviously generalizing, but a lot of guys in Hollywood, just sort of like married asian asian women. I was like God really. I wish I was Asia. Well, some women have real issues with that. I mean this girl that I dated she fucking hated when men would break up with her and then start dating asian women yeah.
It's like! Okay, I have a giant close and I'm too loud that's going to make you feel it's like. If someone broke up with you and then starting a black eye, you'd like I thought the yet to deal with it yeah it is yeah and you as like. You know what you want, but it's not to say that there aren't plenty of Sassy over Asian one with opinions on shore, just the cliche yeah. It is the We share the subservient cliche the mail order, bride. Yes, but I know that so many guys that I know are like super into that. Isn't it that, like mail order bride is like serious pejorative right. That's yes, the russian mail order bride. So those are dangerous. Really, I think so. Really, yes, full me once, but just in since environment. The Russians in general are pretty fucking dangerous, but like the mail order right things like like the idea behind it is like now, If, like you know, you had to go, sir, for Meryl Oderbruch, I thought if there was mail order husband, I would have done it. Five years ago,
sorry, all my problems, emigres, I mean I find one. Thank you in a word. I think it's a dot net. It's you know what it is. It's like a chippendales dancer after awhile you can find out he's gay yeah, I'm just gonna. I think I've dated and I want to, and I think that Iraq find great, I would love to date. A guy got you no Shima, Tosh Shima has had to ex husbands. It turned out to be gained AL. This one turned out to be gay, no overpay to no whole issues hilarious when she tells the story she's like what the fuck am. I at honey. I did the guy that I'm pretty sure that everyone told me was gay. I didn't really care that much until until I've tasted shouldn't fat black, but he was actually very sexual. I don't know it's very fluid time, guys. Yes, it is gender. Gender is fluid. Yeah, subject of genders fluid fluid. I mean there's a lot of mma guys who are into that. I understand, I think a lot of fighter
and I want to say Emma Mae guys. Some of them have been abused they come from abusive households and sometimes that abuse could be sexual abuse and could be sexual. Obviously by men, and that could lead to a lot of confusion, sexual confusion. I would think so yeah well, there's also like. I talked to this guy Chris Ryan doctor, Chris Ryan, who wrote this size. Good friend of mine, wrote this book sex at dawn and he's like an expert on sex, and one of the things we're talking about is imprinting that sometimes thing happens to at a very early age, even if you're, not gay, yeah- that I that that, though those sexual thoughts getting printed yes and there's something called have access which was explained to me by that at present act. You know him he's the neurologist guy for the Broncos. No, you love him. He was explaining this thing, click a Texas which is when something dramatic happens, but you're. So if you're, you being,
jerking off. Let's say in something horrible happens: you have a positive association with it plane crash. Yes, so was jerking off with nine hundred and eleven happen. You just have to watch the twin towers. What are you doing in there MIKE? Not? You have to fill out job now. It's rebuff extreme, so you gotta go back to the old black and white footage just to fill it through totally. So if you have some sort of thing and your use error to eating as a child to deal with drama and so yeah happening and then you're releasing dopamine in your brain and it's associating with something negative. So that's a big one that eating one is a big one with people that have like trauma and sue them, selves with major, it's instant, open, it's the fastest kind. You don't have to go get into a drug dealer. You don't have to fuck someone. You have to get a hooker, it's socially acceptable form of dopamine and you don't have to deal with
people while you're doing it. You can shut the door and car yeah wow Jack in the box. They going to grocery stores like I tend in awhile, but just because I was working and someone was going to grocery store for me and recently, I'm like I'm going to for myself. I'm gonna be a human being and I'm a comedian and you don't go to the grocery store. I do I do I do. I do not like when I was doing a couple things working at a time now. Really I just a lot year, I started going again 'cause I Salaria. Why do you go to the grocery store? I never have not really, yeah my whole life. You never had like you don't do you have like a someone that no manage your more like No that, as I remember when I was like wanted to this documentary, I was doing with my ex boyfriend and then I was like. Why might not working with my ex the state of play documentary which they're still doing on Calcio, Storico and fear and all that, but I'm just not like running point on it
Why do I bring that up when I said she was ok, so can I have like HBO like call like your assistant you're like I don't have to do everything myself and I was like that's so fucking badass. What's normal like a person, that's not a bad ass, it's just normal yeah. When I get to a point where I need an assistant, I should back off into. Staying, I don't watch. I overextend myself too much. My luxury is help. I don't buy expensive shoes, those I don't you know have super nice help is what I and I don't mean that sounds like. I know it's lame owner a no no land line, employees, yeah or just an assistant who, like help me with, makes my doctor's appointments adjustment. As my schedule well I see, people that have like dislike whole industry behind them, like all these people and handlers too much bodyguards they take with them on the road and they bring personal trainer everywhere and like Egypt,
too much input is too much data and vandalized yes like well in a way, but in what you know, you're sort of it's you you're, enabling more productivity, because you are sort of Camino years sort of farming out all this these tasks. But I feel like for me personally like I'd value alone time, and I value thinking and the almost only way to do that is to not have obligations like you have to have less less people that you have to communicate with it's just more people, call back, but I think for me, like I, it's it's so easily distracted and so perfect. My perfectionism perfectionism pagets procrastination, which we
paralysis? So if I need, if I'm going to the grocery store, it's going to take me three hours. If I'm going in this and what about this, and this has gluten in a bit like if someone else goes, it takes an hour. If I go it's like and then I'm in this and then I'm getting a lavender oil and then this fucking SALT Himalayan salt. Suddenly I put on the headphones and listen to a podcast. I put my phone in my pocket. I push the cart around and smiling people and for the vegetables. In my cart, I have a good old time. It's fucking hot hot get laid, dare you yes, but yeah I gotta, I gotta go take my kids somewhere, so I got so we're at a quarter to five now gonna wrap this up. We'll do this more often we do this. Why off? I would like to let's do it in my life. I love you too. Such a plan when's your HBO special coming up by January twenty third January. What to I'm your girlfriend
Whitney Cummings yeah, I'm not powerful in the muscle mass everybody's, powerful, powerful, tiny, powerful audience. Thank you. Everybody love! You guys take care, bye, bye, big kiss! Thank you, everybody for into the podcast thanks to cave, banned, coffee for getting us through this Bluche Caveman Coffee, co, dot com go there get some hum thanks. Also two square space go to squarespace dot com used promo code, Joe and you will save ten percent off your first purchase. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to me undies. My all Time, favorite underwear go to meundies dot com, Slash Rogan right now and get twenty percent off your first order, plus all orders in the US end, Canada, always ship for free. Thank you thank thank you to stamps dot com go to stamps, dot, com, use the promo code, J re and get a one hundred and ten dollars bonus, offer which includes free postage, Anna Free
Digital scale, and thank you thank you. Thank you on it. Dot com go to and, and I t use the code word Rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements alright. Ladies and gentlemen, that's it! For today we be back tomorrow at Judah, Freelander, that's right! World champ will be here. If you don't know, Judah Freelander is fucking, hilarious, stand up comedian and a great guy and a good friend give it up for Judah and will see you tomorrow. Alright, bye, bye, big kids.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.