« The Joe Rogan Experience

#882 -Tom Papa

2016-12-05 | 🔗
Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. Check out his new special "Human Mule" debuts on EPIX on December 9 at 8pm.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hip huggers what's going on how how's everybody do win on this wonderful fifth day of december for lords year of two sixteen is i say it day of our lord the fifth of december day of our lord two thousand sixteen december thirty first thirty thirty first what's the new year's eve thirtieth thirty of his the fight thirty first is new year's eve right thirties as ronda rousey comes back i scared should be wrapped december 31st i'm going to be at the orpheum theater in downtown aelay with joey diaz and tony hinchcliffe and then on four hundred and twenty april 20th i'm input portland or for two those first show sold out i think there's like there's probably some random tickets available i think still
weird like when they sell out they still might have like one hundred tickets for sale but they're all like we're ready weird it out like one upper right hand you know not the crime scene uh but that's on four hundred and twenty the big pot day in portland or and there's shows a second show us some tickets available were brought to you this week by square space again i love this spot i love us that i could do or i could be like not just legitimately enthusiastic about it but like if i was your friend and i knew you and i knew you needed a website and i didn't have any stake in this country in this company i would say yeah man fucking trust me can make adult website easy you could do it let's i say to you i'd do you know how to send me an email the picture in it okay well can do it can you send a link to a youtube video can you put that in can you copy and paste
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office is going to be like it's going to be filled with disgruntled folks sony talk about that later uhm i don't use dot com 'cause i don't send things ok but everybody i know that does loves it brian redban when he sends those he has a bunch of different art were actually got some pretty new t shirts that are all made out of different colors of the number seven is his death squad logo it's pretty dope those are all available at deathsquad dot tv which is brian website and he sends him all through dot com with stamps instead of leasing a message meter which is more expensive and not as powerful not as flexible and definitely instead of going to the office and waiting in line if you have to send stuff they have to measure measure way each individual and then give you posted for it well with stamps
tom they take care of it so that you can buy an print official us postage with a regular computer in a regular printer it's super easy does all you need to do go to i'm calm before you do anything you click on the her phone at the top of the home page type been jr and they will hook you up with a four week trial plus one hundred and ten dollars bonus offer which includes postage and a digital scale who take your package you wait on that digital scale you print up the official us postage put it on your package handed to the mailman it's all that that's over can't go wrong folks stamp com before you do anything else click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in j r e and last but most certainly not least we are brought to each and every week by on it dot com if i get any questions about what's on
about moon like what are you doing with on it what is it what we're trying to do we're in the process of doing is provide people with beneficial too rules supplements and even beneficial ideas what is about is about total human optimization mine yours anybody wants to get in on it the idea behind human optimization is that even if you feel good even if you like pretty good there are certain things where you have in in order like a bunch of things that you have in order where you feel at your best and what are those things you might wants to be moving well you you want to feel like you're your mind is firing on all cylinders your body should feel bustin vital and healthy it should feel like you've got some horsepower behind you
your mind should be enthusia stickley fed with wonderful ideas and motivation and you should have all sorts of different areas when it comes to supplement tatian and health you should have information on what could be beneficial and you should try these different things to find out what works best for you that's where about that's where all about this war all about that's what we're trying to do it on it if you go to the academy link it's the best representation of what we're trying to put together the academy link is hundreds of pages too one hundred and thirty four in fact pages of some workouts articles nutrition articles on exercise physiology the benefits of yoga athletic benefits of yoga mean there's like hundreds of 'em it's for step to mma core strength the bunch of different articles motivational videos just cool
so we find that will get you fired up and give you some haitian all that's free we also even on an academy a real place that's in austin texas which is a beautiful state our gym with awesome instruction gray classes and we also hold tenth planet jujitsu classes there as well we've even had some tournaments there we are done with this fucking commercial but what would i tell you without being too verbose too late is it it is it's the best that we we know about that's what we try to do is the best way to put it the that we know about for making you work at your best go to dot com use the code word rogan save ten percent off any and all supplements boom my guess today is my good friend tom papa just a fucking awesome dude i love talking to him 'cause he's a what i would call he's an expert conversationalist he's just a very warm and friendly guy
smart and interesting and i'm blowing him right now notice love guy he's he's brilliant and he's on now the joe rogan experience there were a lot of tom papa who has a special this friday coming out on epics all no way especially music many were you aware using gregarious so charming he's a sour dough actress birds the sultan of sourdough which film special klay and uh cleveland's font i love cleveland it's a good place to do it i'm going there for long time and i love the people in cleveland which do it what place hannah theater anna playhouse square district kind of thing really nice
and you know i'm going to cleveland for a long time i like the people there it's got that good mix of you know hopefulness but in reality to make it is that city is really making a comeback craft stores and craft breweries in nice restaurants and i know when i started going there you couldn't eat healthy if you try and it was just corn beef and now you know fifteen years later there's vegan restaurants there's all these like you know these noodle places it's just it's completely come up but when lebron left they were devastated how crazy is that one guy the whole city throws a ball into a hole completely they took his banner off side of the building and it was over and since he came back and then won it change the whole place i remember how much they hated him when he left i was like this is ridic
this is why you so mad the guy had to get some money but it was real it was real like there's a difference when you go there now people there's like a pride they're walking around like they have the heavyweight up in the ufc twenty they down steep ameo chick from monica lewinsky yeah and the baseball team went to the world series so they were like really like pretty flowers but they have the browns which always that bad they're bad but they had jim brown they had jim brown but still they even wants to have one one game they have am in game this year we're a little baldy me how many games they play were up to nine or ten i thank him some time we're getting well what i really love them that city and i really liked it for stand up in i figured it was a good mile marker you know you do the specials and it's like okay this is this period you know yeah and for you this is a good place i'd like to come
you know my time in cleveland and this material at this point and it was good how often do you like to do specials uh this is my fourth and they come every like two one slash two years yeah it's pretty much half the standard number everyone seems like a lot of guys were trying to do every year like louis was doing one every year for a while but then he like you know what they're not as good when i do it once a year they're not or i call them premise pilots is a lot there's over the last five years a lot of premise pilots like people rushing them out and suck yeah that's a good idea imagine in three years with that could be right you know what i mean yeah yeah and that's the day i think even two and a half years and i'm trying just do it when it's ready but i feel like you keep you two and a half years is kind of rushing it there's jokes they stay in your act for five years it's no joke that that thing becomes some
sing different they become better you become better you find out where the beats are you find out with pauses should be you find out where maybe there are some tags yeah helped along the way that lead you in a totally different direction you're thinking about it differently there's uh confidence that you have in delivering if it's different than you just pushing it out there but you can't the way that people digest everything now you can't wait five years yeah isn't that the issue is that you have a bunch of tom papa fans and they would like to come see you again but they want to see new shed it's not like the rolling stones if you go to see the rolling stones you want to hear sympathy for the devil even though they wrote in nineteen sixty seven you know i know but you know i go back and forth on that because yeah i'm sure had it where urine shows an you at the end of your said whatever people start yelling out old bits that they want to see right and there's something i know i know that you want to be new when you always want to push and you always want to you know create that's cool but i think it sells these bits short to think that nobody won
to see these again because i could watch you do that white house bit i know it i watched you working on it store i watched you developing it i've seen it a bunch of bunch i guarantee i could watch that bit every week and like it and think it's funny when i worked with seinfeld for years i would watch that guy for about seven straight years and i'd watch it's and hang out and watch the not the whole so but i keep when it came up to a favor a bit of mine i was laughing i was laughing so i think you can i think we in our own heads think that people don't want to see this but they do want to see it so do but the ones who don't and they say oh you doing the same old jokes that so devastating keep moving you know you're right that does kill you the people set kill you don't like it that way outweighs the rare people that don't mind the old jokes again when i see
people left after after a set an like you know in the lobby or whatever and they're like we see you every time you come through we saw you two times last year i completely go my first question is did you see some new stuff and nine times out of ten they look at me like well yeah but it's all great like they don't the killing those fans really don't care i don't concentrate on those people those people too easily satisfied trade on the the the malcontents they just can't wait to get on twitter of media we have the show is over as show's still doing that white house that premise tired to break it happened two thousand fifteen bro yeah but you know that's such a unique wormy type of a fan yeah but those were me type of fans although they're not the
the happiest nicest people in the world they do keep you motivated and check yeah the worst show happened to a lot of comedians in the 80s is that they never wrote new material yeah they just kept doing the same stuff they get forty five minutes and just wrote it out yeah that career they had a set and that like jail still does that yeah he's jay leno is a brilliant comedian like if you go back to the early days of like the tonight show and the letterman show in the leno was the edgy young guy yeah would come on and what was this great joke writer very relevant sit down but he put out a showtime special that i'm aware of that i watched a long time ago he might have on that and body every copy of it and burned it yeah i never seen it he doesn't put out anything now nothing when he goes on stage he wants the audience to have no idea what his jokes are 'cause it could never see him on the internet they can't find him anywhere he said that to me once he's like why would you why would you record
why would you put out an album you're killing your act because you're act feeds you your act is with the that then why would you just give that away but it's a different thing it's uh it's chain changed i think the media how people can digest this stuff has actually changed what a comedian is but with all due respect when people today think about jay leno they don't think of the great stand up comedians today they don't think of jail even when even before the prior the cosby contra actually went down yeah cosby was still considered all time great one of the all time greats right and leno was in that ilk at one point in time he's never he's not considered that no no do you say what is the tonight show do you think if he could have done the tonight show and put out oh yeah for sure criteria he would've for sure he has work right that's a big that's a big problem it's everything
yeah there's a lot of guys that are really good that we all not like duncan trussell's a perfect example dunk across a brilliant comedian his no body of work he doesn't have anything out right i know you know that's kind of where where my is that lately is whatever you're doing whatever you're hustling whatever you're trying to put out there it's all about making stuff it's all about making stuff that you're proud of so you know this is like the fourth one so now i can look back like right this is this is growing this is i'm proud of and then from writing something i think i will i just want to create as much as possible yeah you know what i mean yeah but i also but but there is definitely that side that you know i you know i came up during an era when you didn't just make an album 'cause you could record it on your phone someone needs to come and ask you be good enough for someone to say i want to make something with you so i still have that feeling that i'm not good enough that so i don't
want to put it out early because i don't feel like it's ready or it's you know what i mean so i try and hold back as much as possible i don't feel like because lewis point out every year that i have to put out every year or to be arrogant that will carlin did it every year well that's george carlin but even carlin i mean it's hard to talk bad about ellen because he's dead and he's one of the all time greats but there's some yeah some question stuff in there yeah was not good yeah there's some specials where yeah i mean he had some brilliant jokes no but no doubt about it but when you're doing a new our every year some of its is not up to the same standards as some of your classics like he has some classic oh my god the best but you know the end he was calling himself a writer more than a comedian said i like to be called a writer that's how he was doing the act he was writing out he'd be at the comedy magic club with his printed out beats memorizing like a play
like memorizing all this material to then take it out and that's a different thing you can put it together in a year but it does i have the seasoning the confidence the ends and outs that if you just tord with that for three years yeah oh my god what it would be torres is the big thing to man because when i do a theater if i do a theater on a weekend like say if i do friday night at a theater or saturday night at a theater there's a giant june doing that and doing like a weekend the comedy works in denver where you do in four shows two shows friday to show saturday that's when bits come alive to get those extra taglines they get those extra you're so different from thursday night first show saturday last show yeah first one you're here ok i'm doing it the old people having a good time with their saturday you're just you're like a matter you could just kick back and just this is in this natural zone that you can be in that you don't have the just don't have the confidence you know you have to be out there
all the time and i think that's the hard part you know j back to jail doing the tonight show he was working on that monologue i mean he was doing twelve minute monologues they just throwing those away and we just tell you this right now i don't i've never liked the fuqing monologue ever in the history of late night television is not one where i'm like finally the monologue dogshite just go right every joke sucks it is largely amusing at best but he but he disagree 'cause he he he said that letter when was doing a six minute monologue and people were turning off and going to the commercial in the next thing so he said if i could keep it if i could do twice that people aren't changing and he beat letterman all the time from that segment of show the ratings were strong enough and he held on to them this is just a business mind warning that he hung on to them and kept them in there and then why he was number one all this time well it was
hugh grant thing remember when he had two grand on what the hell were you thinking which is thinking right question you think i want to get my dick sucked by this hot black chick right and if i pay her money she's going to do it he's just toss yes he knows what the fucki jacking but jay really that the monologue was his was his thing and that he had to pour ng into it and then and he would work on it as soon as that one was over he he would fly off and do gigs in vegas he was working on it constantly sending jokes to his guy coming in the next seven to twelve minutes of new jokes everyday you're not writing your act yeah working on your act right when you get busy and have other projects and stuff your acts you know using craig ferguson to stand up i have not he's don't that's what he does now he's like he's a stand up yeah and he was doing it while he was doing the show i don't know how much he did before he did his show but then
he did a show like i would go places and they said yeah we had craig ferguson last time like the real craig ferguson like that actually i didn't even know he's a comic yeah exactly yeah yeah he's a comic i'm like wow interesting did you see his act nope that's why i was asking you what he does now we just decided i'd rather just to stand up here's a weird one man they didn't get rid of him he just said i want to do anymore i know he's one of those enemies then he's hosting like two different game shows yeah where are they he's there's one show where it's like kind of like two teams and they do charades against each other kind of a show and he's in the middle of it and then i did i did a appearance his new show on national graphic or history quiz history brought a panel that was me lars from metallica and a writer discuss the it was like the the lists like this i forget the name of it was like a list of something and we had to pick like the top five bands of all time and says like this funny game show talk show
kind of a thing but he's always popping up and doing that kind of so you just need something to do with his act was like because whenever whenever i hear that my first my first inkling is it was probably telling stories about celebrities you know the griffin style yeah like you know what with this is it you ever watch comedians another become famous yeah and then they start telling stories about this when i ran into a so and so in the locker room and it's all celebrity stuff 'cause they're not living their life but ferguson i had heard he used to write a lot and he's always trying to come up with stuff so maybe it's a relaxed well the people that worked at the theater when i worked at where you know there the night before they said it was funny yeah so i would like to see it see what that's about but i always always find it interesting when people just some sort of mainstream gig like that and they do it for a while ago i'm done yeah i'm done well he got passed over for later
start without it is unlikely he didn't get that job that's when it all yeah meanwhile that job sucks yeah i'm going to look at the time colbert well there nobody likes them anymore 'cause we love them stuck with other fucking job colbert as robert was great yeah cole bear as whoever the you really is i don't like that got you need when when he was on he had half again on and maria shriver and they were all talking about how great it is to be in a cat to be a catholic my check please get the foot on the show yeah oh really amazing there's a billion of us what what really what am i watching like 'cause colbert is like a serious catholic yeah i knew that but i don't like talking about and restructured it was bizarre i'm doing the show on thursday up i'm going show show middle i said sharp dressed like the pope so what they say
they get mad at you yeah just where the wizard costume it's a full that's a weird job it's a very weird job basically selling other people stuff yeah and all the time you have these little short sound bites i did conan back when he was in new york and i yeah it was i don't know how many times i've done the show i did it a lot i don't know probably the eighth time and i was there with the show is over in conan's walking through the halls he's got his guitar with him and he comes over and i said thanks for having me that's so great i love coming in here because here it's great for you because you gets come in here and do the show and then you get to leave go about your life i am here every single day is is playing on the guitar thing being me every single day i met over at leave these calls every single day i was like it really sunk in like this area you seriously bummed out
still little you know one of those manic moments of you know but you're that's in new york now he's been doing the show for how many more years yeah punching bag when it gets frustrating so its way on that thing yeah fuckin' network lam lam lam lam i want the tonight show yeah yeah real gig i mean you just that's a different life that was weird moment to the annals of showbiz history when they gave him the gig and they put leno on before him so crazy like what are you doing like what is this windows on a ten yeah and then you guys are cannibalizing yourself brutal you have talk show host hosts how do you choose goes on what show you doing who did that the idea was that jeff sucker i think has jeff i love jeff jeff said gray yeah i know jeff gave him my first break on television but he was holy cow that was a weird moment well
had i mean imagine if your conan imagine if you have the guy that you get the tonight show your life long dream and then the guy you took it from they tell you he's going to go before you 'cause your ratings are so so we're going to put him on at one thousand o'clock then you got to go out there and give them an analog how much time went by before they put leno on before him it wasn't that long they don't keep it wasn't that long i want to they maybe a year maybe but his just wasn't hidden it's one of those things where in order for a show to develop it finest legs the like what you have to have faith in whoever doing it they're going to figure it out right yeah i don't always do that they don't always have faith and then we put tremendous pressure on you and then kaiser's don't want to spend money because the ratings aren't high enough so you bleeding revenue and you have all these producers and everyone's sketchy and everyone has their own idea of how to juice it
and then they have flashes and pressure and what's so strange to me in that scenario when it was all going down when he had his thing in new york it was locked in he had his fans it was solid doing the same thing in a bigger studio across the country it was it was weird it was area or something was also earlier more expectations it was more mainstream expectation right like that late thing is kind like relaxed like creating carson daly was on tv forever and no one noticed they still doing it he still sick you just kind of get away with that because there are two hundred o'clock in the morning which is like hey we're good see you tomorrow don't cares alright we're still doing it yeah fort still buying time on that show is not dis on carson daly at all very nice guy no but it's being protected your like protecting you don't have that pressure of low expectations being in that thing i was there for the very early days of cone
as my friend amir was one of the writers on conan show so i went to like one of the third or four tapings when they the monologue scripted and they had on giant cue cards it was really gross for the audience because right behind and victor will be someone holding a cue card and behind conant would be someone holding a cue card and it had conan andy and then the yes the words they would say so they would have a scripted like this conversation where happen yeah would be scripted weird bizarre like that because if there's a bizarre right after you and now you now you go it's funny you mentioned that because our next guest is weird as well somebody had to go up to conan go listen we need to script your monologue and then we need to script your dialogue we need to script your banter we need a script everything we're leaving nothing to chance just that i wasn't good
it wasn't good it was very awkward in the day and i think he found him often became like this sort of zany his show on guy and is still super creative it's still i mean it's you know that not that many people see it as compared to the old days but here they're always doing original funny stuff like it's alive i don't know how you keep doing that for that many years but it is guess that's a general unique really funny place on television for sure it's his job i mean that's what he does yeah that's it getting this gig yeah it is it's you know what else awkward to with the and it sucks the most about those shows is that like have these like six seven minutes segments we just sit down and you just kind of force a bunch of subjects into these sick like he had bar on the other day and in one thing that was like this really awkward
well what about the nfl as i know the nfl bob is like what they were just talking about trump and they just switch gear like super awkward segue didn't looking down at the car yeah yeah jumps right into it i'm like oh i guess you got to yeah but you know i really as a comedian that's what comedians are the best guess on those shows like you should just sit down and go let's just go i watch i need doing the tonight show with johnny carson did a did a six minutes set you know standing there doing his thing great and then he walks over sits down and then four minutes we asked one question and he just went he didn't joke joke joke joke joke oh really yeah joke joke joke goodnight everybody i mean that's your job why do we have to make this look like it's a conversation especially with a guy like rodney and he would just that's where he was in his element just
open firewall at at at at at at at at my doctor let me tell you you know the story of rodney how he took like more than a decade off of show business but the every time he was writing jokes but it's selling like a lumina siding and share them and keep the jokes like in a briefcase or something i don't know but he just kept writing so when he came back and started doing stand up which i believe was in its 40s yeah is this 40s he had massive amounts of material amazing i heard that he is this true have you ever heard this that he had switched acts with another comic no it wasn't going anywhere in this but he wasn't going anywhere in the switch axe if you ever heard that no no no never heard that yeah i don't know i don't know if it's true or not but but a funny dude apparently the respect like respect like no respect at all kind and i'm trying to find out what what movie was that caused him to change it from it used to be like i can't catch a break
early oh really tag line and then he changed it i'll get no respect i got no respectable respect at all and then click see if you can find out the origin of that jamie that's ok so there was like a specific reason why he went to from like this cat yeah to respect trying to remember who told me someone who is like a giant rodney fan he was dave smith was a dave smith its medium that came in here maybe so at some point he was saying things just don't go well for me something along those lines and it just wasn't that weird yes those little words just wasn't catching another done dinner done really i mean they're done is a classic those things are just they just catch why i remember when chappelle could not go on stage because dumb drunk why boys would yell out rick james bitch yeah it was always white guys too
'cause they were so hooked on it hooked on it i never sorry dave so sorry white guys do some white guy myself saying it was giant giant problem like yeah i saw him at the house of blues in vegas an literally show as a cluster fuck is people would just yell i'm rick james burch it's weird like it's in the the one sided sick people love you so much right but the other side is like you're killing you're killing me well that was a saying that people love to say they just love love to say i'm rick james edge so we'll just see him right there and they just want to yell it out i'm going to feel it i want to feel that sound yes sacha baron cohen right how long is he walking around like my wife yeah right right i have no catch phrases i know when i was young comic i watched a guy for some guy in like virginia it was like one of my first road things ever and this guy was really hacky
any had a line in his act and then he would sell the t shirt with that line and then he was off getting drunk you know before the second show and he did the we can show an brought the t shirt but at the end and there was like response 'cause he'd forget you so drunk he forgot to do the hacky bit to sell t shirt i saw that and i was like i don't care how much he's making him selling shirts i am not going down that road that's a big thing though for road guises merch you'd merch they go nuts with the merchant people love merch such a bad businessman i just feel like it's all about the show it's about the show it's about me on stage this was great i can't go to the lobby and start making change for 20s i can't do it i can't i'm sold t shirts and like one two shows ever and i shall sold cds at one or two shows ever and then i'm like i can't do anymore right what is that
why is he feeling or if these people already paid first of all today they could always get your stuff they could always go online and who wants a physical copy of anything anyway right dvd or something like what the is computers even have a slot for it it's right exactly pablo does no not pablo gabriel gabriel no not like how you look at all those mexicans third one it's not even it's a third one the other one local your guy the big controversy guy the young man stelea men stilia he records his set an then he has a gun his opener when he's done everybody the opener comes up and another ten minutes well on this disk drive they burn all of these little thumb drives what you just saw so you can buy the original set of what you just saw on your way out that smart then he has another guy takes pictures and
and sells those you can get a picture taken with i mean it's a huge business picture taking is gross huge charging people to take a picture is gross yeah and then they put in a laminate you can have like a degrees it's uh let's see santa you can get the copying one copy or you can get the thing in the laminate with the snowflakes on it i kind of feel that column and steal you again like i'm cheating on him always down but i should just let it go but the photograph thing like charging people take a photograph there was always that he always did that was like that is just gross things were people there nice they want to take a picture with you it's not hard to do i don't mind going out and talking to them and letting them take their pictures and just saying hello to people yeah i just can't get into the selling thing 'cause you know i hear you if you're sensitive about your work an you get through the set and you've done you put everything i had into it and you think they had a good time let's not judge each other or another time on the way out of the building i mean let's just have a nice moment let's not make it oh now we
let me to buy a shirt from him would be nice to just say hi to people too and not have to take a photograph 'cause like i mean i know i understand that people want to take photographs and i'm happy to take him but it's like that moment becomes this pose and of like hey how are you nice to meet you john right exactly you know like everybody like people can't meet anybody anymore everybody has to you have to me really get your phone out it doesn't matter what you're doing people want to take i want to see honey huh gary clark junior the other night nice late night show midnight at the down and out in downtown aelay ann shows going on like we're standing there watching the show and people were grabbing my arm try to give me take pictures with them unlike stop he is not taking a picture of what i love that that beginning of of your special the first thing you said was put your phone down yeah because they're standing in your special literally something out of your math liz put your phone they can't
in the moment it was rich yeah meanwhile i take videos of gary clark when he's onstage other day i know it's all part of the experience but i wanted to promote them too did you see what he six explained the origin of respect here it goes i had this joke i played hide we can't even look for maine to make it worse you look for something to put in front of it i was so poor i was so dumb so this so that i thought now what fits that joke well no one like me was alright but then i thought a more profound thing would be i get no respect that's not totally true because it was a it was a movie there's some there was a movie about some movie that had something about respect in it is wika pedia says about pretty much the same thing that it came from like appearances on the ed sullivan show and that this is like almost the same thing it tells a joke right here no i'm sure i'm sure but the someone told me the history of like decide being respect that it was
it's a movie that was famous at the time like maybe even a mob movie it's weird like when you look at least not remembering schitt when you look at that list of comedians it's like tim allen had the oo yeah and then you know everybody just have a little hooky thing tennis another oh i'm not here you might be a redneck yeah you might be a redneck with giant yeah you know those on the first bits are some in css deal really yeah now that redneck oh yeah now oh yeah out pre internet how ninety four oh my god yeah that's why i realized i was like what yeah sorry your family tree does not fork is one of those really yeah i was like holy shit oh my god yeah i feel like the taking the picture is kind of better than talking to them though because i always
it's fine like i wanted they'll say something about the act or something and then the first sentence is great that was really funny i love when you did the thing oh that's good i've been working on that and then i to talk real about it about the activity i wish myself like they meet you like oh this is going to get to talk to him and then you start talking and then they end up with slowly walking away when you're like i've been really working this bit now i'm having a hard time with the tag just kind of drift away like he's not as much fun as i thought oh you mean you didn't just make that up on the spot so i feel like if they take a picture we get through it and move on yeah well jamie and i do this thing that i stole from stevo stevo idea to great idea stevo takes photos but then you have to go to his website to get the photos that way people don't
with their cameras not thrown once 'cause the phones take flocking nobody knows how to use her got damn phone i'll take my picture how does this work you give someone an android phone you might as well give him fuckin' thesaurus give him a book to read i know nobody knows how to work a fucking android phone i tried to do it i had my buddy take pictures and then we posted them on the line and then go get them first everybody was so then you spent the whole time saying can i just take it with my phone knows we do it you gotta hire string person say that higher one security people at the club say put phones away the picture will be available online tonight is the only way to do it when you thousands of photos though is only one way to do it yeah if you're doing that that's why i sit in the back and eat a salad and wait for the second show that's good move too i know it's a good move i know depends on where you're at too though like let's do you like comedy clubs or do you like working theory like this place in cleveland how many seats with it uh it was about six hundred that's a good size and stuff like that yeah that was perfect perfect
i did the fillmore in san francisco that started my special which is smaller than that it's like four hundred and fifty four fifty yeah perfect that's good that's perfect but it is not as good as like the comedy works 'cause the comedy works as a low ceiling oh yeah had a high ceiling low ceilings at work at man those little jammed up original room at the comedy store rooms people don't realize that is such a real real thing it is a real given back and forth you're writing this there's a it's not a mystical just it's a real i'm getting from them i'm giving it back we're playing with this enerji its way if you do outdoor show it sucks because it's just poof it's just evaporating it's going up like smoke want did you have any hecklers no i had three out of four shows people tackled
daily three or four and they weren't even being mean they were just they wanted to talk they just wanted to get on and they love you i even ask people for the show i said i'm filming here please don't yell in anything they still did probably so mad people are so mad at them oh yeah yeah and then it creates this ref people the fuck up now my my people were little civilized maybe your people more civilized other middle aged women they might you get a lot of that i get it you've got a lot of family melfs lot of lot of lot of side boob self is at the end of the show try ten lipstick on there oh my god taking the pattern they're squeezing your as there is squeezing him and then the clawing on your back doing the finger thing on your back to let you know they're interested yeah excited tonight i went for a married man just have a thrill
thank you for the likes me will pop in your masturbation at night what how her that's that's sleeping pills for comics yeah but no no hecklers it was pretty it was pretty smooth it was pretty it was pretty good yeah my rouse a little wild maybe to calm down now passion it everyone you play we live when you just do live then you prob don't care in the mess with them and sometimes you don't want him ruining bits and that happens all the time for walking idiot ruined chris rocks bit the other night at the comedy store really oh my god chris rodis rocket this bit about cops in the sky just fuckin' interrupted and and then chris you know chris was joking around with them at first and then the guy interrupted again and then chris like you dumb mother fucker i'm doing jokes up here like what are you doing man and they wind up kicking the guy out and ask
they're kicking the guy i was like well i shouldn't over opinion what do you eat no you can't you can definitely have an opinion you don't want to interrupt a performance like this agreement the audience has an agreement the agreement is you're going to sit there and you're going to see what this person is prepared yeah right now yes persons prepared but he came on stage with the flocking notebook but that's her thing but that's that's the that's the illusion that we create if you're good it sounds like it's just happening sounds like it's in the moment it doesn't sound planned out so they think that they are in the moment with you will rock rock is so opinion heavy like chris rock's premises are always like yeah he's he's a master at taking a controversial premise taking a country i should point of view and then bring it around so that when at the end of it you're just howling laughing because he's figured out a way to like he's right he's right i know
is the master bathroom bitter divorce to what i've been waiting for that to come out i've been waiting for that to come out i don't know if you had a prenup seems like you didn't oh really yeah it seems like there's a lot of lot of fucking lot of cool he was just talking about how much money the lawyers macon it's going after all of it shrewd all these like any was talking about how that's warmed his torrent really has like i gotta makes money man which is look if you've developed a nest egg like obviously has yeah an all of a sudden he divorced phil hartman try to explain that to me once but i was telling him to get a divorce for his wife shot him in his sleep um ego i'll just give her half he was not half he'll such two slash three 'cause the please take a third
fuckin' scam he was just oh my god rabbit about it was uh oh my god i didn't think of that i was like oh yeah the lawyers 'cause they do they don't for free now nearest that you're paying for your wife's lawyer to fuch fayes pay for both of 'em brutal you pay for the general of the army that's fighting against you for that general god generals trying to rob you of your resources yeah and you write them checks selling out arenas your whole life and they want most of that god i don't want that how's that you sleep in and want everything they want they want to take away memories i want to steal the very foundation of your happiness and prosperity could joe rogan could joe rogan have everything go away your kids are fine your relationship school whatever let's take that element out of it let's just take the house the cash
the bows and arrows it's all gone could joe rogan go live in let's just pick new york this is not question but let's pick new york could you go live down by washington square park in a studio apartment have your act have your fans go do your thing and kind of be ok with a little bank or have you gotten a are you at an age now and you've you've had stability do you feel like that would freak you out well it would definitely freak you out if you all the sudden like one of the things that i've sort of relied on is not needing anything right so by not needing anything everything i do i do 'cause i enjoy it right so like if i you stand up i do it 'cause i enjoy it and if i do podcast 'cause i enjoy it if i do the ufc is 'cause i enjoy i enjoy the money don't get me wrong sure but i'm not me i'm not needy in a position where i'm like worried about my next check i need that stuff so if i got to that
yeah not even need that stuff like neither stuff is kind of so if you have a car and you can get around you got food on the table and your families taking care of everything else is kind of bullshit it's nice it's nice to have a good couch like look we have a seventy inch tv wow this is nice it feels nice but watch w going to seventy inch tv it's nice look how big it is well yeah but ultimately what real counts is are you nervous are you nervous about bills 'cause like you remember that feeling yeah that's a terrible feeling i'm not worried about let's where that's going to come from and what you're going to do but you still have your act you so go make money but we're going to put you back at square one we're going to put you in that studio apartment could you would you cool with it studios kind of small what a4 four bedroom house in the yard somewhere but honestly the big thing and this is such a cliche but the big thing is do i still have my friends
do you still have the same friends because i knew if i lived in an apartment building and are you should hear live next door to dunkin live down the hallway and joey was the all the other side yeah i have a great time yeah we we all lived on the same floor of the same building i would have zero problem with that if they knock door hey man you got any weed amount of we don't come on that would be no problem it's like how much different is that then when you stay on the road in a hotel right 'cause the hotel is like a studio apartment yeah you're right good percentage of our lives stay in a studio apt a lot i know i really should i bring it up 'cause i really i was thinking about it and it's like if it all fell apart like you grab on to your life dial in what you're doing so hard but if at all for whatever reason washed away and you could still go perform and you still had your friends at this club you can see where it's i could totally do it i could totally go back to i have clothes to fit in this big of a class
yeah and just and just keep doing what i'm doing but in those circumstances i one hundred percent in some ways i think you're you'd be lighter you'd be a lot of people do believe that and a lot of people do go tord that minimalism life where they give up everything my friend steve maxwell he's a really world renowned fitness trainer its strength and conditioning coaches for a lot of pro athletes a lot of fighters he lives out of a duffel bag i saw like i saw you interview he used to have a big house and he had a gym in philadelphia would like one of the very very first american brazilian jiu jitsu black belts and he had his gigantic jam where he's aging and he you know justin guy and he just decided to get divorced any decided no one yes he goes i'm going to live out of a van and he got like a camp yeah yeah and he lived out of that and he's like fuck this van i'm getting i'm just going to keep travel
really now we just stays in hotels everywhere and it's amazing and that's what brings it up it's the divorce i see it yeah i don't think i don't think willingly i would do it but if something was thrust upon me he got divorced divorced him or some something i would i could go back i could be i do but you're thinking about it so much that you brought it up as a subject or something you wonder uh yeah not as far as the divorce because it is a full life yeah because i've built a life that's bigger and more complicated and i you you want to know what you want to know what it was last time i was in here i had had this back issue where was like shooting pain down my arm yeah you have cervical issue right yeah and i was going to this really great cairo guy i was doing coming i was doing all of this kind of stuff and it was just making it worse i was just in just now yeah i was i was in pain for like a year i was like in pain greg
galleon of the comedian george go he tells me he had really develop he lower back pain and he i read sorry it's like just read it and i got into this big fight with him in the head and i know i'm who owns the comedy cellar he's calling him a crack in the crack pot and it doesn't work and all the stuff and greg is like chest please read it just read it just read it and it's you know what it is it's just basically about that you carrying your brain wants to go to work on something simple like pain in your body rather than deal with issues of stress and anxiety and anger that you carry all the time and basically just realizing that that's where the pain is coming from don't this all the anxiety or the pain or the anger you just have to be aware okay brain i know what you're doing i know what you're working on it just kind of alleviates that stress and then the physical manifest
nation of not having oxygen go into your into your muscles and stuff starts to slowly release and just it's gone it's gone it's i have no pain i have no how long did it take after you read the book and adopted the principles like a month and a half really yeah a year of pain in a month and a half of adopting these principle like what does he tell you to do like where the exercises that he tells you to do he says just just live it don't just a live your life exercise whatever you were doing to it don't live timidly don't think i can't run now i can't do yoga now because i've got a neck issue do it live your life don't live like in this preventative way of i can't move i'm going to mess up my my body so what does he tell you about like physical issues we could have a herniated disc and it's pressing against your nerve and it's causing your hands to go numb and your arms atrophying he says those are very rare cases
it's not that rare my world i know well yeah you're right but he said he says it's very rare cases where there's like a real pinch now kind of a problem that seems like crazy advice and i know a lot of people that have like real issues like real physical issues it's not a rare thing i don't think to have like disc issue these are gigantic yeah 'cause people they don't strengthen their spine enough they don't drink their core enough and they wind up doing something they yank it and they heard it and then they try to work around it and they wanted to re aggravating it and then it gets worse and worse he was saying with a lot of times you'll have a you'll have like your disk will be bulging a little bit or whatever these little imperfections are and we all have these imperfections in us when you are stressed in the muscles are tightening around you and becoming inflamed because you're carrying this stuff that you're not working through every these constricting around it so then it's going to aggravate that and that's going to become a bigger problem i definitely think that's true
in some cases but there's like there's legit like i had a conversation with a friend of mine about this with the same sort of thing and i was like that that's all well and good but i know people who are very light and happy people who develop a legitimate back issue and has nothing to do with stress that there carrying around it has to do with the soft tissue that protects your joints bulging out yeah and contacting a nerve look there's a zillion of us out there and i'm sure there's all different issues for it but facts original question of why am i about simplifying and all this kind of stuff i a i am a pretty light positive person very optimistic very i'd kinda live in that world but when i just started reading the book and like i things real pass me off am i stressed do i have anxiety because i live in this house because i'm trying to do these things with my career because i'm trying to
always do this 'cause i'm carrying children and parents and all of this stuff i'm trying to make everybody i'm just i don't know maybe just realizing that and thinking about it i know heavy meditation on it no just being aware that maybe that's where it's coming from i'm telling you over a month and a half the pain slowly went away and i don't have it yeah that is interesting so what like what was bothering you before like i know that you're you know you're successful and you had a television show for awhile and you've got a bunch of projects going on you're always doing stand specials so you've had a lot of success you've got a lot of great stuff going on what was kind of chewing at you i don't know i'm not really one hundred percent sure of what the sources but i do feel like i have a lot of people on my back
and it's all up it's all quiet it's all in my head you know i mean a lot of people in your back yeah i've got a wife i've got i've got kids i've got pets i've got family i've got to in the in that you feel that it is a weird way to bring bring this up but it is that much of that like having a wife and having kids obviously there's going to be my zeeshan there's going to be stressed that comes along with any sort of relationship but do you feel like that was tipping more towards the then towards the positive i don't think it was i think i just the whole experience to maine seems positive my relationship with my wife is great the kids i adore i feel like it's all positive
but i do carry the burden of everybody's worries and everybody's well being all that i was working on this act this joke in my act before i started thinking about all this stuff i i had this moment when i was standing in this house i moved to this bigger house it's a really nice house it's a bigger hook bigger home and shutting off all the lights is what i was working through on stage i was just turning off all the lights one night and locking the doors for all the bad people that are coming to get us and it was in their beds in the cats to sleep in the dog to sleep and everybody the lizard to sleep and it just all my responsibility washed over me like everybody every living thing here is is depending on my success if i don't keep going if i don't keep succeeding this everything here changes everybody's little life everybody is perfect perfect little existence it's all watching over me and i can't tell anyone about it i could tell you the audience but i can't go
in my daughters bed at two hundred in the morning when i have the feeling honey tever jeffer feel like he just can't do it anymore you ever feel like you can't he just want to stop he just want to take a break something about waking up my daughter my fears i can't do that i don't tell my wife that stuff i don't tell my kids i swear i just carry it so when i started reading this book i'm like maybe i'm just taking all this really seriously and feeling like did you israel's from extended with the new home is at it because a lot of times i have a friend of mine did that recently bought a big place and he can afford it but kind of right now it's like okay i think about this now yes i'm a i'm a big advocate in never doing that yet i don't think you should ever buy a big place and less you like hey we can get a nice place now i'm not even think about it that's no we're totally cool we can do it and it's you know i hadn't really small place for a long time and did all the right things so it's
the outlay is no different from my little place before it's all cool but when you walk into a place like that it just feels bigger you know the first time i bought a home ever i had this little place in studio city's little you know i just i remember laying on the couch like i don't know if i can do this i gotta sign this paper and every two years is a long time and every time the mail came for the first year that i owned a home i thought it was going to be noticing you've got to get out of there now i think you know what i mean yeah i just was fearful about it mortgages are weird man it's like you here's a bill for thirty years yeah it's heavy that weighs on you yeah so that's what just brought me to the feeling of like well maybe just going back and living with my wife in that little studio apartment in new york again wouldn't be so bad kids of freak out it would be
this would free his would hate it the kids will have to be gawked this dad you need to be more successful yeah take your pressure like a mandich glad you downsize who cares if you're script out of a bench who cares if your arms go numb i want to go to berkeley everything in your teeth yeah i don't know i mean 'cause it was a little self aware moment because i do like i said i'm i feel like i'm pretty carefree but why the hell was my neck so well i think it's stuff that was something that resonated with sarno's book and i remember howard stern talking about it yeah he had a similar situation i definitely think people carry a lot of tension and then that tension sort of manifests itself and physical pain but what i do is uh i do difficult things i like to do difficult things that are way more
then comedy so if i'm doing ju jitsu or from bow hunting right or some of the work outs what i do there's so much harder than than anything like standard just yoga class is a fuckin' ninety minute b crumb yoga class in one hundred and four degrees when you're going i put a hundred percent effort to every post like pouring sweat it these are called when you do that it's to me at least in my with my fuckedup up brain that other stuff doesn't bother me it's not your fucked up rain wait this anxiety to stopping yoga i did yoga for i don't know eight years and i haven't done it in three i'll get back in there man i'm telling you i used to walk around like the biggest advocate i'm like no once i started you know stress here no pain here sable when you started giving those pains why didn't you just get back in i don't know
i'll tell you what i have no idea i don't know what the real answer is but in my head it's the classes from nine one thousand and thirty and that's when i do my best writing when the kids get out of the house and i can write in the morning ok that was yeah that was my that's my lame excuse me just gotta force yourself yeah i forced myself try and write some other time yeah you sit down and you don't sit down and write write like you don't oh yeah i do you do oh yeah so you too i thought you were a stage guy no i'm a stage got two yeah well i'm a i'm a firm believer like martial arts i think that you need to do i think like if you to be a mixed martial artist he only wanted to work on your skill i think you're doing yourself a disservice i think you need to strengthen conditioning as well i think you need to do drills as well spar i think comedy is the same way i think writing in stage and i think there's a bunch of aspects that over the last few years i like to think that i've
got my own way of doing it everybody's got a different way obviously everybody's got a different style my one way though is a bunch of things one socialization i need to socialize yeah i need to go out with friends i need to go have a drink or smoke some pot with my buddies and we start laughing and goofing around about things or meet new people talk to some trusting person like this one of the things that i really like about podcasts get to talk to interesting cool people that kind of socializing leads to new pathways of ideas get expanded what made you think did you think of that it just happened you look back like i remember thinking somewhere along the line god i come up with a lot of great ideas for bits when i'm having fun with people having fun with friends or even with people i don't even know if they're you know occasionally you'll meet someone that's really cool you enjoy talking to them and then you have these cool conversations you see this perspective from a stranger that's interesting and they say something and then it fires something in your own brain i think so
sizing is big and i think that's one of the reasons why really really famous comedians hit a dead spot later career because they're their circle become is very small because they only trust certain people and they they kind of get anxiety about hanging out with regular folks and just going out there to get isolated yeah they drive limos everywhere they live in a mansion they never get to meet anybody so socialization is big activities big i need to do things i need to do i need to go places i need to see things i need to travel i need to like i do a lot of different things i like to try to get as much activity in as possible but physical writing to me is a must i sit down in front of my computer and i write i write all the time and i necessarily write jokes i just right right right here and then the jokes come out of that premise is come out of that stuff more essays i loved it it's one of my favorite parts of stand up is just being by my
self and writing just that part that mining you know you're just mining exactly and then once in awhile you get this great stuff that comes out a lot of times nothing comes out that's the biggest challenge of writing is gay out of your way and not beating yourself up if thing that comes out isn't great yeah most of it isn't great i think one of the biggest challenges of writing is discipline this one biggest challenges because most people just don't if you're a writer of your comic and someone there's no one telling you you have to do it yeah you have now because you have this open ended schedule like you could have gone to yoga yeah nine hundred to one thousand and thirty and he chose to write write like you and you i have chosen to write because yoga too hard you might have decided he spoke in the writing is too difficult i'm just going to or yoga difficult i mean could be one of one of you know either yeah reasons yeah it's
right i should do both i should happen you said that you know i always try with writing also to not be so rigid like there was a time when i can only write on the computer in the morning up until ten and it's like that stupid sometimes i don't have my computer sometimes i just have a pad and i'm going to coffee house after doing radio at eleven so why not do that so my thing now is i just make myself sit down for two hours at some point at whatever point why doesn't have it's late in the day and night whatever it is that's like your work out it's like you've got a set just sit do you ever read in your phone yeah you know what's amazing about writing on the phone if you have an iphone or even there's actually a lot of them i use notes yeah note and uhm then dictate it oh yeah is it accurate super accurate really yeah you never tried it like this i'll show you right here so right here
reset button right there this is the iphone i got an interesting story about that are you trying notes go up yeah that's in notes box or press the voice thing tom papa is a bad mother fucker bam wow amazing right so true this dude he writes in the morning when he supposed to be taking yoga his neck all fucked up and doesn't know why but he's a guy and he's hilarious go see him this friday on epics thanks joe solarius yeah it's alright it's not perfect now but that's pretty good meanwhile what the fuck is various now that's a pretty bad where it keeps keeps dictating its logo it's getting this hold it just said that is so larious do you do that when you're driving yes that's how i do text if i have to if i'm driving trying not to do that so what i do when i'm driving this is a big one for me is i've turned the phone upside down and i put it over there i don't have it near me when you're driving yeah it's too creepy like too many
people are fucking driving and not paying attention and they crash into each other i know it's the worst it's way too common so bad i fucking every time i'm on the road and i someone weaving in and out of traffic i see the light their phone shining in their eyes and they're trying to text weather driving it's so dangerous i know and you know my daughter is my older one is fourteen which means she can get a permit next year like fifteen and slash two this she text she's not crazy foam she's you know she's it like a normal kid but she's not like really obsessed with but i just had scares the hell out of me once they start getting one little chips yeah one that's one things get so yes so crazy fucking although the energycap invite building relationships for young kids might be young kid they go from being eleven where hopefully there's no fucking at all yeah two hundred and fifteen where that's all you're thinking of yeah just in
you know forty something months and then and then he doesn't call you or likely where there's a problem in your waiting for checking your phone every two seconds to see the response i wanted i know you're driving to go pick up milk for your mom yeah and you hear ding you reach over to check it i can't yeah my neck humanitree massive massive fucking ramones raging through your body telling you to get pregnant telling you to get when pregnant could you imagine if we had bones were going through puberty could you imagine all the dick pics that you would have oh my god wait there begging the speaking of girls show me something to something better of it please my god would be out of i don't know but on the other hand you'd be wiser yeah because
be able to google things i mean how many bullshooters did we know growing up but just with lion make stories up on my god yeah those people were out of business but not necessarily have you been paying attention to fake news yeah big time buffet news stories are big time it's crazy like i didn't realize until this pizzagate thing which by the way it's very controversial what's fake and what's not fake about pizzagate because pizza gate is connected to that john podesta guy who is a very controversial character who still friends with that dennis hastert guy who was speaker the house who's absolutely the file yeah absolutely a confirmed serial pedophile it may be awhile admitted yeah admitted so the fact that that guy's freak friends of that and then also andrew breitbart apparently in two thousand eleven was made a tweet
about podesta being a guy who helps people who fought kids yeah and it was like he made this crazy tweet about him in two thousand and eleven which five years later after breit bart is dead it's very interesting to read that tweet and say well what did he know about podesta before all this spirit cooking and all this crazy this came out with the the hillary campaign right something new do something you know and this is yeah we put up pull tweet this is from twenty eleven how prog prog progress guru john podesta is household name as world class underage sex slave op cover upper defending speakable dregs escapes me now this of course when hastert was about to get convicted so he's been friends with him forever has stirred by the way was the fucking speaker of the house
yeah and he had been fucking kids for years so anybody who doesn't think that it can reach you could be a pedophile and covered can reach high levels of government you are mistaken or that is possible and state football program exactly but that got it obviously wasn't government but yeah but did work with a lot i mean he had a god damn charity yeah a lot of people try sandusky would would work with young kids and take them on the road in fuch them oh yeah yeah a monster high yeah yeah but the point is like fake news this podesta in this uh i mean who knows what's real and what's not real is my points 'cause like this fake news thing is what people are calling pizzagate yeah this whole this comet pizza thing so some guy walked into that comet ping pong place yesterday with a loaded assault rifle and an ar an fuckin' shot around in the ground and the
building pointed a gun at the employee and need to know like where the sex dungeons were really yeah 'cause he was convinced that their fucking kids in this place oh my god here's the thing with the fake news i had this discussion with my daughter actually and we're talking about like how we just entering an era where you're never going to know what's real and what's not like things going to be so sophisticated on both sides that you're never going to be able to parse it and she had a great point she said you know when do papers at school and my wife who's in college now uh when they do papers for school they have to because of the internet because there
so much if you have to provide the sources for where your information is coming from when you're writing these papers you have to have a legitimate source attached to any of the facts that you're putting in there so that they know that you did the research and stuff and there's point being there's like real there will always be really legitimate news sources where you can cite that people agree this is a a place where it's been filtered or not this comes from a news where the source you can't just spew stuff and just put you know such and such website and have that pass in a in an academic said right you know what i mean like there is a little way of parsing the truth probably end up being the way that we all parse the truth i agree with
you to a certain extent i think that like legitimate studies and things that were done by legitimate researchers where they have peer reviewed studies and everything is presented out but news sources are so suspect now yeah what we saw from this past election whether you support trump or whether you support hillary sport anybody what i saw from this election very little unbiased truth what i saw was a lot of whether pro hillary or anti hillary pro trump or anti trump i saw a lot of editorial influence yeah an you saw that on television you saw that in the new york times you saw in the washington post you saw that in what we would think of as little news sources without bias they're not they're just not anymore and there's some certain people that felt like as a person with their own point of view and purse
active and thoughts on the the burden that one carries by having a voice that it's imperative that they get out what they believe about certain candidate specially trump the slanted but there still there still is did this thing happen or not happen you know what i mean did their tax return really right was that information like did we all see it you know what i mean you can slant things and you know fox but those dangerous things that's dangerous even that's dangerous because you could take one aspect of it completely write it into the ground and make look like here's one thing they were they kept harping on about all these conspiracy theories about hillary being ill bulshit she falls asleep while she's standing up that's ill right she's not healthy like would tried it that was editorial influence on the fact of her being an old lady who
fell down in twenty twelve and got brain damage cracked her head open literally according to bill clinton was convalescing for six months this is his perspective he said she was in real bad shape and it took her six months to get out of it there was a witch emails that showed that she had a seizure in twenty fifteen during the presidential campaign she's at that nine hundred and eleven memorial she passes out and all those six security people scoop in and catch her because they were they were quick like it's fucking happened before right like this is not this is not an unusual occurrence i don't think i think they did a real good job of covering it up but there was so many media stories that we're talking about the conspiracy theory of her being ill that there was so much so many people work catching on to her health and obviously she showed in that debate that helped was fine well first of all she's on drugs they put her on my dafen
that was another thing that was listed in the wiki leaks she's taking provigil she's taking this this stimulant they give the fighter pilots released him from falling asleep it's a drug for people that have narcolepsy like she's on this right so like yeah that's probably why she looks stimulated she's she's officially propped up so this is a a bit this is to me was a big sticking points like i'm not i'm not anti hillary it my i'm i'm in buy a lot of things she stands for but i'm not pro trump watch that i was like well you're not being honest with me she's not close to fall asleep while you're standing up as you fall asleep while you're standing up there's a real problem yeah you shouldn't be doing anything you should be in bed if you find out what's wrong with you yeah you should definitely can be running the world right just propping you up i really felt like every
i mean see her walking out towards the podium that the biggest the biggest worry of hers was not for tipping over yeah did you hear fall on the jet when she got to the top stairs of the jet and should tip for the when fucking on camera did you ever see that they might not be so watch pull that video up and then why we can't walk and why would she comes having so much fun was had a little bit of a cold the fuckingg i was working on this i don't know maybe does coke are you about sessions coming in and ending all of our boxes look at first of all she can't walk without holding on to that railing she's clutching that thing why it's hard for everybody i should she get to the top she's slowing down look she's slowing down a lot of steps probably all light heaven headed we go would you could do a budget good to tell you jewish she can't walk so funny to watch out this is not good none of this is good
fall down it happens out of here doesn't fall like that sometimes coming falling at the comedy store i have to make sure my foots plan turn around i go like this i'm fine it's hard walking around bullshit this is there's a lot of steps nope the steps might might want to run the free world you will your mom should be president she's the the issues of like hillary's eight she shouldn't be president i think physical health is something that you should take into consideration when you have an unbelievably stressful job that looks it drains you like a vampire sucking on your neck i couldn't believe both of them were still standing at the end i mean was so when you think about the travel in the speeches in the pressure group both of them i mean really that i that i was that they were fine yeah he seemed fine he did it what do you that last one at one hundred and thirty in the morning in michigan or whatever like six that ok babies just like he just kept going yeah i mean i don't know what he's taking his food yeah
it's the best fried chicken just fuckin' taco bowl hopefuls remember that picture when he's eating a taco bowl he goes i love hispanics i'm like what in the fuck is this life he says i love hispanics he's eating a taco bowl in the uh i swear you fuckin' runs his empire like this is madness that picture look at that a good look at that the best go balls are made in trump tower grill i love love panics that is so crazy it's so crazy the whole thing is meanwhile he didn't even eat that he pushed that aside and they brought him fuckin' ribeye sessions going to come in and end this pot fun for the nation you really think so that's what they're saying yeah that's not what they're saying you're saying no no i've read all the articles it's all speculation it's based on his account figments maybe it's based on his past statements about marijuana not being for good people and also based on what he could potentially do as the attorney gen
however trump is said that he's going to leave it up to the states i think that trump is a populist and i think the last thing trump wants is people more people actually the potheads rally against him and saying this is preposterous if you look at the actual fear that i have about marijuana versus the physical effects of marijuana versus the potential revenue gain by these states look at what's happening collar real estate sales are up fourteen percent drunk driving down to the lowest rate it has in decades crime is at the lowest rate it's been a long time this so many positive benefits to marijuana legalization movement it's amazing he is an amazing when you go out denver with with the the change prosperous all my god so may i went in and i went to one of the shops when i was performing their last month and
just wanted to go do it you know i wasn't even looking to get high i just wanted to walk in and buy something legit and walk out and just see what that was like a culture media very rarely now right now i do but i can't i pick up kids how i don't i don't know infrequently that if i do it my day she well you know how we were talking about difficult things that make life easier one of the difficult i like to do is edibles you know it's funny when you're special you actually talked about the gummy bears and i bought gummy bears when i was there this is how out of it i am now like i used to i used to do it every day you know and now i haven't for like a decade i'm so out of it now but i got back to my room with the gummy bears was like scared should i don't know how much do i take i don't know point this wanna eat a little bit and then he thought i mean i really
to leave it there like running an ultra marathon or something like you should be scared when you take those first couple steps like jesus what am i getting myself into yeah but i don't know i'm old school i guess i like it i like to see it and crumble it and puff it and no exam what i'm doing that's nice too but it's a different thing than the eating at the eating is like the eating it because it's scary well before that reason yeah like the journey i like it it it makes we feel super vulnerable and it makes me feel feel like really in tune with any weird distraction i might have in my psyche uh huh any weird bumps in the night there haunting the back of my brain it just max amount like it out here in the front pulls him input spotlight on click tell me what's wrong i can tell you though you're gonna darul everybody is i just wanna get high and watch not that i like that too really so you do a big literally are you not joking no no
i'm dead i'm dead serious it's the little bit of the unknown almost trip we kind of anxiety when you eat mushrooms or something and you're like ok let's what's going to come out where we headed well that's why like the sensory deprivation tank too 'cause you can't run from your thoughts right traps you with your thoughts you have to confront them right it's the what i call the hard work like doing the hard work the mental hard work is like you gotta be like i one of the things i've tried my i've tried to pride myself in at least i shouldn't say one of the things i've done as an exercise and as i've done it like as a discipline is try to constantly and consistently improve everything i do whatever i'm doing whether it's martial art thing or comedy thing and i feel like your personality is in that too and even podcasting is in that like anything that you're doing you just try to do better and i don't always succeed but
there's a journey in a process along the way and what i've found is the hard work is the best way for me to really judge my progress and all those things 'cause i'm forced to be alone with my thoughts and to be at least the way i approach it i try to be as objective if it's possible i'm my number one biggest critic yeah i fucking hate everything i do yeah me too good yeah when you sit alone with your thoughts and you think about everything you do and you can pick it apart and find problems with it and yeah but the hard work yeah that's a that's a that's a big thing and and you no smoking let you come in the other door and take a look at what you thought was ok you know what i mean if you think like you've got the structure and you think you're being hard on yourself and then you come in the back door and you're like oh
maybe i'm a little hacky over here you take some of this and go through the fucking roof like an asteroid fuct that door you don't want the door i could have a lot of stuff in here buddy i went what was funny was he's one of these and put it on the moon what's that chocolate cheese to get smaller pot through the rapper i need to know what i'm getting into getting into death death in the inevitable the only negative i could see from these pills too many pills on some pills let me see it like the only negative i could see when walking around denver was there's a lot of scsi scape pothead kids that are like laying on the street you're always going to get that yeah but it's a little different that's just part of the problem it's you know you always get yeah there's always the fourteen cats it's going to be the case it was funny coming out with my bag like filled with stuff and not being afraid of the cops who
wave to me but then the pot heads who want it sorry jeez i got it stuff to do you'll be fine i'm like my second hand smoke barely doesn't i'm like your pet dog i got my dog so high once i had a uh a rescue dog and she was a big sweetie i loved her yeah it up she had a rough life before i got her when i got her she had mange omam she i got her because someone who i knew had rescued her like that day and it was in la and they had found her eating out of a garbage can and she was she was off stop like mangy and they contacted me and they said hey
a which is a long shot do you want to drop the dog because i had a dog and i'm like well you know part would be a bad idea to have my dog you know get a companion yeah i go you know what to do and then they told me and i'm like oh no like wow that's a lot to take on the yeah checked around which the older was she had had babies for sure because her nipples were extended we didn't really know how old she was when she was probably in the neighborhood of two or three but she was the sweetest dog ever so sweet what kind choose but she had a rough life it was a rough life and when i had her in my house joey and i we we into my office and she would come in the office and hang out with me and we did bong hit after bong hit and his poor got hot box uh no we couldn't figure out what was going on because she was freaking out uh she's freaking out and she was
like hiding under desks like she would run she would run across the room and then just get under the desk or i guess tucked in and were like oh my god she's high the poor dogs high so you you can get someone can get that yeah i think i think that i hope you i hope that you know what's the most interesting thing watching this whole trump thing like i hope you're right about sessions i think it's going to be really interesting i feel like we're watching one of those movies where like the regular guy becomes president and he comes in like well just fix the problem just take the taxes and fix the bridge that's how it works in like these practical like things that you could do like let's just talk to taiwan and seem if maybe they'll be ok and it's like will this work or do or or is the way of operating with so enmeshed in
policy and the way that things that were do you need that structure to actually steer the ship you know what i mean this is really kind of free the form if you think you're right i think in that sense that's probably the most positive aspect of this guy being president is that we really will find out yeah and my the only way we find out where you're going to find out we gotta really find out gonna find an also he's going to fucking tell us like if there's some shit is behind the scenes you know like there's a lot of talk online about trump lying in his tweets about like fake votes right now like fake votes cost in the popular vote like he just sometimes he just says schitt right yeah i don't know if he is doing it as a strategy i don't know i don't know i it's it's up it's also possible that he doesn't really believe it but that he knows that if he puts it out there people are going to repeat it yeah there was an article
open recently that i saw i forget what the magazine was jamie we could find it but it was about a guy who writes the fake news um he tracked this do down and he would just it's fake stories like about george soros paying progress is three hundred and fifty dollars an hour to protest against trump like did just make stuff up yeah and they asked him why he did it and he would he said was you said essentia lee he started it out as like an exercise was sort of to prove how gullible these alt right folks could be at that some of them at least some of them would just see things without looking into it at all they would just start tweeting it yeah you know and he was right he was right but he started making a lot of money right ten thousand dollars a month where can you pass that up yeah no i'm going to write fake stories now so what you were saying earlier about like us entering into an era where you can't really tell what's true or
true and like if that's i mean that's why it's so imperative that someone like the washington post or like the new york times cannot be biased in any way you have to like as clearly as you can emphasize the facts of every even if you feel like you have an obligation to show how horrible person trump is just to let people know like this guy can't get in office as soon as you start doing that you embolden the people who oppose you right like it's very dangerous for ideas in general because it's so hard like i don't do it but so it's so hard for anybody to completely be unbound and established the facts even when they're disturbing and uncomfortable if you don't like that to people don't like that you ever watch pbs news show the news hour yeah that's probably as pure as you can get yeah right i mean that's just purely as factual as we can put it out there and
it doesn't mirror a lot of anything else cnn msnbc although it's a fox it's all that pbs is just it feels like it's the last place where grown ups were this person makes ten thousand dollars a month writing fake news yeah yeah this is just make stuff up what is the website jamie this one was from market watchers also and npr story think the marketwatch is one that i read i think that's the the the the one of the problems with the fake news too is i have a the guy tries me the airport all the time and he he's like no i saw george soros is paying the people to protest and my wife i saw it on facebook my mom said no that's not a story and he said but look now it's on
cnn they're talking about the same story so it is true the problem is all these people editing these news organizations they're running with this turd they're being tricked by the fake news to begin with wow yeah jesus christ i know it's very slippery just see the fake porn going on at cnn aired thirty it's a fake porn during anthony bourdain show out like thanksgiving night yeah it's a total fake story yeah i did that it was real yeah yeah that there was some somebody just ought to be funny to and then did he even have a photoshop screen shot or something like that yeah it's genius i mean it's you know the scary thing is that's how wars start right that's how mom started getting a little carried away when they created the ticket to not where they created this fake stories yeah iraq same stuff it's you can manipulate stuff you can create big events off
well here obviously we don't know what really has gone on that led to people writing that pizzagate stuff i don't i didn't investigate it enough to know if its pulse rate or not i just didn't look into it in right to be honest that said what if it was bullshit and if it is bullshit and this guy thought it was real and it goes in and what if shot somebody who's right is i mean what point is there some sort of responsibility like as a culture like once if someone is inciting hate tordsson specific establishment there really hasn't done anything wrong right but that's kind of a criminal act right yeah in a way yeah if you're saying like if you if you pick a donut shop young young donuts and right side a young donuts is where the elites go to kids granny just make all that up and then people show papa yum yum donuts and just start shooting people because he i won't tell him where you're talking the kids right that's decades again this is just if it's a fix
i don't i don't know shyt i'm just going to be real clear about that i literally have i do so much and you two were you should look into it no i shouldn't you if you want to you go go ahead dear you cannot be responsible for every fucking story that's in the news today you will lose your mind yeah and i'm trying to do less and less of that in my life but my point is what we know for a fact there's a lot of fake stories yeah we also know for a fact there's a lot of yeah a lot of scary sketchy people that are in positions of power and they have been forever and they're starting to get it closed more than they ever have been before so i don't know what the fuck the truth that's kind of the interesting thing that's it's the good out of the time that we live in yeah everything can be bos now which is great like you can expose people being brutal to another group you can expose crimes by just recording it on your phone you can't get away with
stuff anymore 'cause everyone's on video all the time yeah so in that way truth is never been more clear but if it's but and you have this manipulation of that truth in certain instances where you don't have that video proof it's it's right i mean it's very conflicting now it's what we were talking about earlier we were saying about fake stories that it's we're getting to this weird error where you can't tell whether or stories true or not like he gets real sketchy gets really strange i think there's going to be this is just pure speculation pure broscience nice i'm giving you a bro sign warning my favorite kind it's only kind of understand i think the other and these things with their able to transmit words from person to person through the internet brain the brain like somehow or another i can't i'm not going to do a good job explaining it but they've been able to ascend
really put a word in your head and then do it accurately from a long distance away through some sort of electrical impulse or something that they blasted your had laughed but right now it's like creek like a word a right i think it's entirely possible within our lifetime that one one day someone is going to figure out if you can do that if you can transmit something from brain to brain like that through the internet through some sort of interface they're going to figure how to how to broadcast intention so instead of a language they're going to figure out how to broadcast feeling is behind you thinking something like if i say hey tom papa has comedy special on epics this friday night you should definitely see it he's fucking hilarious he's a great guy and i i really want you guys to check that out there's a feeling that comes with that feeling like
you know i really love you you're a great guy you're hilarious i want your specialty kick ass which is this but so that's like an intention that intention is in some way trapped inside a language it's trapped inside like language and civilization in all the structures that we've created around it but if you could somehow remove the language and just what is the intention behind i love you what's the intent behind i would like to paint something what is it outside of the words that would use to describe it in a sentence if they could figure out some sort of maybe icon based or some geometric pattern based language language you can express' yeah and we would have to learn that language right but it would be an intention based language we wouldn't matter what your languages you speak german or french so like minority report then they will think take that you had this
intention to kill someone and they come and arrest you before it happens when i just feel like thing that's happening in the brain right it's all trapped in the brain and then gets expressed three to the fingers or through the mouth right now or through the right but it's all these are all these ideas or rolling around inside the body and then express through something right what if there's a way to get right to them so you don't need the erber but you don't need to do the double birds right you don't you know there's you can you could express' that through the actual things that are going on in between your ears still change stand up for sure it'll be over for us to get out this walk out on stage that guys hilarious it'll be like the blockbuster video of art forms people still want songs songs will always be cool when you can
read minds i want to hear your stupid joke yeah you're stupid jokes yeah i don't know i don't know if sounds like that's a little as owner science yeah that's definitely a long way off now there's someone right now writing this down is this dude he's got a is on the spectrum yeah but i can do it he's he's ambitious and it's got an idea you can make it true but if you have htc vive headsets on have you ever put those things on yeah jesus christ that game changer you mean the virtual reality yes yeah yeah yeah there's a couple different ones now there's also a rift i mean i don't know the sam song but it's the htc is one of samsung has one that you slide right into your like a phone right you a phone to do it so you slide your phone into the yeah you have like a dog or the google pixel is that to make you faster right yeah you slide it in i did that with the new york times had one they sent like a cardboard
now smiling and all of a sudden you're with the refugees in syria walking down the street looking around you and there's people behind you in front of you fucking bizarre yeah it looks pretty intense well can do that now with the processing power of phones is pretty good the crazy thing is you take a regular smartphone it's not bad but it's not as good as like the the high end ones right and we're in an infancy of this stuff most people don't even know what it is when you bring it up yeah it's coming too one has one when you're in this underwater environment in a whale comes up to say hi to you know and you're like holy sh it's a fucking whale in front of me you're like looking at the whales i so weird 'cause you really we feel like you're at the bottom of the ocean and these things swim overhead you watch them holy cow oh my god would mindfuck so you could walk in sit in the chair and watch a stand up show you one you can do for your special
1x aspect of doing your special would be releasing it that way right great idea that is surely hearts already done it is probably not yeah he's done in a football field with a jetpack with a whale comes through the metal memory katt williams had a lion on stage ever see that katt williams thank you for being alive he's the best thank you for being alive that makes me laugh so hard he's fucking funny so feel like because he's so crazy people kind of forget how funny he is oh my god his early stuff like going after michael jackson and stuff oh so good so good so good he's funny math your original funny as hell wild motherfuck living a life that guys not worried about back pain he doesn't have responsibility of peace not worried about getting his kids to school he's just being cat
channing fistfights with seventeen year olds and i'm losing that's right in the yard the kid beat his there is a round took his back is like super lucky that kid didn't give him brain dead i love everybody else is realizing i think that's cat cat williams is getting a goddam street fight with a young kid that with the school if he sucker punch the kit so that tells me cats not sitting down with that notebook every morning like i have to do this maybe he seems like one of those guys that just flies feel like he also like maybe i think a little smarter than people give him credit for and i think it's in highly possible that he might in some sort of a weird whether it's conscious or subconscious way put himself in these horrible situations so he is funny shit to talk about
i don't know my instinct is he just ends up in those things and that's what that's the beauty that comes out and you might be right but i don't think he says calculated you might be right it might be uh might be a little bit of both things yeah exactly the thing is he's very smart man really like you can't be that funny and not be smart he said something that i was like oh yeah like i was listening to this video it was him in the back seat of a limo and he's driving around and they were talking about before he goes on stage and one of the things he said was that doesn't eat anything he goes you know i want to i don't want to be full when i'm on stage i don't want to feel like that you like you want to be better off being hungry
like you don't want to be slowed down by food and like that's a great idea yeah i know that but yet i would still violate that if i was hungry right you know like i'd rather like via show at eight hundred o'clock and i was kinda hungry at seven i need a fucking cheeseburger you would yeah for sure i drink a milkshake really yeah for the longest time i would just whatever the car one really i could never do that but then i watched katt williams thing i want you know what he's right he didn't really shouldn't eat before you go on stage like you can always like a little bit in between shows but when you have a meal you go down or not yeah you just slow down a little bit yeah absolutely you might be power through now if i'm if i'm in trouble this part about being on the road is when do you eat i really feel like the timing of when you eat and when you're going to perform and all that stuff so if i get past the four hundred o'clock i eat like late early in the afternoon and then i'm getting too close to the show it's not enough for a meal that i'll try and a protein bar at to get me through
show something light that's you know i'm not going to be up there digesting i remember jim carrey there is in some interview the guy who directed him in like ace ventura or something they said get all of his stuff before lunch once he eats he's a different guy like that hyper hilarious jim carrey you got to get that in the morning 'cause once he starts eating it's a different guy no yeah sense right i mean you get like oh i just want to nap yeah you can't be like ace ventura pet detective you can't be pulling in as cheeks apart and you like you think about how over the top that fucking movie was he is so over the top like he took over the top to a new place a hold another place you know like people would say like you know like physical but he doesn't really work like maybe if you have asset yeah but if you go
balls out like that guy does you tell me that's not a layer is through a pet detective tilt to this day i watch that and it's aware just hike in his pants up is hopeful areas observe human beings just get the camera get the camera this guy with his face looks ends and running around me created this incredibly bizarre character like what the my wanting but it was so over the top so funny yeah yes when i was in high school i would try i would imitate him as his imitations remember when he did have that set where he was doing like on golden pond usually strawberries that e strawberries he did the whole the whole golden pie needed all these of great impressions oh yeah do a lot of impressions that's how i would try and impress girls doing his impressions yeah he's so fucking super talented guy yeah really talented
energy the pure enerji an he changed his act rig with rodney i think he was opening for rodney and he was doing kind of straight stand up and then said he wanted to go this new direction start doing these characters and voices and impressions and rodney kind of encourage them to go for it like you can bomb on my show i don't care that's interesting you could bomb i don't care get out there who's a mother fucker yeah there's a painter whose on a movie set once and a friend of mine was working on the set and he didn't like his performance on the take who is just like fuck he's like he didn't didn't feel like it was up to his standards or something like that so to burn off nrg he just mass is fucking car was that was there like one of the production cars he just smashed there is like with a bat i don't know what hit with i don't know what they said a six something up and started whacking this car and you know this is jim carrey ones at the top of the heap where yeah like just let him wreck the car will just he doesn't get
you just wanted to get some energy out just scratch my translator ok alright we're back and then he went into the sea they like holyshit that must've been hilarious it's great do you sometimes think that maybe you should be crazier as a as a comedian oh yeah i know that feeling i know exactly what you're saying i know where you going with that right you're crazy would be funnier right like if he absolutely reckless crazy person if you were more cat yeah right like i always hear that like he always here like the stories like they had to get the guy to the show get the guy to the show oh i was there a half hour early going through my notes i'm like i'm a square you know when i was young i did meditate on purpose i stopped meditating for a long time because i literally thought like when i was two thousand one hundred and twenty two fucking sucked
socked i mean i uses wasn't very good yeah we know we never are but we have energy yeah but i thought at the time that if i if i was good moving toward enlightenment active hours meditating the reason was meditating like when i was competing that would meditate because it would i would try to like move towards a place of like balance but then as a comedian i was like you probably shouldn't be balanced because uh money should come from the people like richard pryor who yeah problems kind of crazy and and this is just crazy and do all those are my heroes yeah i know but you know they are also not here anymore thanks same thing yeah it's same thing you know yeah this is great people that are still around phuc yeah i think the best guys i really do i think right now between bill burr and dave chappelle louis ck chris rock joey diaz mean there's front
i was wondering when my nails pop up in that right there i mean i think this is honestly meaning keep going there's a there's a ton of none of those guys are funny comedians right now yeah and none of them are really like super reckless with their life outlook louise not at all their powers not even a little bit you know now pursued down disciplined smart guy very very hard hard worker learning how to fly a helicopter knows a license i know cooks it makes its own pie crust like literally uses like shortening and stuff i brought him one of my sourdough breads him and that is is it's really wanted me to bring over his bread my bread so i went and brought it over and gave it to her of course they loved it it's it's amazing and right before thanksgiving i think was right before thanksgiving maybe were that weekend uh he
i mean he's like dude can i yeah i got to i want to drop off any made this this like traditional kind of like like a cinnamon the apple kind of a bread and testing yeah i i played in world like you got bread i got red i make bread to but it's brought it over to my house after his set at the store and drop off it was a little raw inside he had a problem with his up and it was a big deal but it was yeah he knows how to bake that's amazing yeah i love how you like given the thumbs up yeah a car right look at right now i'll tell jokes right out looks at this he was a little pissed off that his wife like my bread so much it is a feeling of expertise the people half when you know they really know something yeah i was talk about bread like
you just took on right there we describing his breath like i'm not bad like you like you have an air of expertise when it comes to the area don't i mean i'm in deep deep when i see you out is doing your bow and arrow thing that's what bread is for me it's this meditative small for making small moves to try and get better i'm completely the rest of the world is out there and i am in here working on this figuring this mystery out when it comes to like bone out stuff i'm like a good blue belt right but yeah i'm not very there's mayors they run circles around me but yeah but you're in it but it means that guy is what's amazing about the bow and arrow world i would say the archery world is how much there is to know like you would never believe it it's endless yeah right
we would look at it and you go oh you pull the string back you aim you let the arrow go right and a lot of people that is what they think that is what it is but then you get into and you understand what the physics behind these things that cams and the fuckin' limbs that pull back on these combos and how it's all measured and weighed and balance and hoyt has to come out the brand new better blow every year in ukraine these minor improvements of engineering these things are getting faster and more powerful and it's all about like yeah out how to get a executed shot correctly using your skeleton and holding everything perfect and chris having any influence on the flight of the arrow it's maddening yeah it take you for a lifetime to master it and would you could you you could you could you miss your head into it yeah i thank you if if there's nothing physically wrong with you i think bow and arrow shooting archery is one of the more easy
things on your body like in terms of like you could be really good at it deep in your 40s or 50s right like it's what i love about the reason i ask the thing i love about this bread thing where you're talking about that with stand up it's kind of a noble you can get great at it you can be a master you can be one of the people that everyone looks at and says he's one of the guys and still it could be the that night or that moment or that poll it's out of your reach you know what i mean yeah i love that idea that you it's you you have something you can work on for the rest of your life right you know what i mean calls from seinfeld telling me clearly lost with what he's doing with this set you know what i mean that to me is comforting because that's what a craft is it's like i can i can get really great i can work so hard get really really really great
and then have a night where you're just off yeah there's really no other way that you can i mean there's no for a guy like seinfeld that's so successful and is made so many stand up russell how many specials as he have not that many actually he's actually wasn't like at least three yeah four we have three but probably three big one so you please put anybody thousands i mean so many late night performance right so that's right that's right there's a lot of those right like several year for forty years and then queen that you put in the show seinfeld yeah probably took almost all this time like he wasn't doing that much stand up while he was doing that right in the summers he would go tour in the summer because that's a brutal gig
putting together a giant hit sitcom like seinfeld that must been a brutal gig he talks about it like he went to war or something yeah but the point is that guy that he that he has to still go through the same the same exact i just talked to him this morning and all we talked about was how are you writing when are you writing what are you doing when he writing how are you writing you doing it late you doing it early i'm doing it here i'm trying to get it in an hour here even if i sit in this is just about all that stuff still forty years in that's awesome yeah it's the best that's what all that stuff is it's that's awesome yeah that's what the the only the only advantage i would say that the bread thing has over the bow and arrow thing is i get to eat it your point you can beat out the you can you can take look it takes a lot a lot of work yeah if you want to get an elk or anything it takes a lot of work
so i it takes a lot of work to learn how to bake bread but it's a different kind of work it's different but there all of this i mean there's a whole nother level that i am not even some showers to the ph balance the humidity in the house the temperature all of this who's got a dialed in is there like one bread where it's like the if you want to get a bow you get a hoyt scissor one bread that has like there's so many like when i literally when i'm on the road i'll go check out these bakeries and like just go see what kind of bread they're making and see what who's doing what in this town and there's a place in the van s down by it the rolls royce yeah but you know the kind of yeah the rolls royce bread yeah for this area there the rolls royce what's the name of the place it's called a gustavo j i don't know how you pronounce it's j g u s t o
or jj so it's like gusteau i called jay you walk in this place it's right by gold's gym in or gold's gym is down there yep it's right there like in this little shabby place i worked out there once broke free imagine bro and i'm engine for a cut in their birth was a good number yeah bro you ever got a good lift in i spray a lot of big dudes there bro the big dudes for a you walk over there that bradley there's like it's like this down and dirty and they make these lows of red that are just insane i brought that home i'm hero in my family for making i bread and leave the to go on the just make sure they have their breadwinner there everybody is very happy i've wrote this blow foam my daughter was like why don't you do this why don't you make it like this it's dark i have no idea how to do it it is right there hampton nori that'll we need out while i look at that look damn good
yeah that is now i get it i get it now see that's a piece of art it's a piece of art that's an edible piece of art like they've crafted it's it is very appealing in the outside it looks very rustic in its form i could put a little slow lashes in it when they were baking it so it has like layers to it i watch this girl she was in the back you could see them working i'm doing all this stuff and this girl was back there she's beaten this thing of dough with a pen i was like maybe i could work here for a little while maybe i could just work here for like a couple months and just as an apprentice for free let me just figure out what the hell they're doing i literally is to a level i don't know what they're doing that's all seeds it's what is that nine grain porridge loaf yeah what the hell whoa that's all seeds you're putting seeds on it are you not into seeds i like this seeds guy my family doesn't eat seeds whoa my daughters will be like there's a seed on it don't like
what about poppy seed how could you not like poppy seed bagels for the best what is that a bunch of them yeah that guy on my goodness it looks good look at those are my god look at we talk in my bread folks i don't know how i don't know how if it's the check them they're changing up the flower or if it's the intensity like to that dark you have to have a really high heat and be on it i don't know if like my conventional stove could do it yeah what they're doing is almost like burning it on the outside yeah almost almost or at the door of burning it almost seats hard the contrast in this photo is hard to tell because like we might just be can add some weird shadows where the low from the back looks like it's pretty burnt the one the front let's burn let's i'd like to see what it actually looks like in the flash but it's so good it it is it is dark which means i don't think it's we'll get back to me ask you this have spongy that it looks really good we're looking
the side people like what the fuck are they looking at looking at the side profile over every like these little holes in it yeah let me ask you that's called the crumb butter or no butter um i don't uh i don't i fucking knew it you don't use butter i like butter how dare you if you like body you'd like butter on bread i do where it's it's best i know but there's this other butter does its best work this is other stuff that's pretty good too so anytime were but are you allowed to be cold huh the only time will you allow your butter to be cold the spread your butter on a loaf of bread yeah that's when you don't mind cold butter martha stewart tell me you shouldn't leave your bread your butter out on the counter so yeah tell martha stewart you shouldn't focus cheat on your taxes hey girlfriend inside i traded i was wrong i to trading yeah she got a little tip i'm sorry she got a
how does that work man are you to not respond to tips everybody responds to tips they're all doing it they are i don't i think they're all insider trading yeah of course like to get him some of your bread wouldn't you these guys some bread if you give me a tip i buy a kitchen nice salad bill i say del if i got a tip i'd maybe like a hook do we have big tip i might explain this to me but please do again because i'm retarded the why is sour dough have that flavor and why it someone said that it's like lou it's almost gluten free it's like it's not the same as regular bread is that true it is true and i don't really know the science behind it but i've got friends i don't know but i've given it to friends that have a gluten intolerant problem and they are they are able to digest that ally the
tom papa using his friends guinea pigs here let's see if you shoot yourself well they have some gluten free bread crumbs wink just eat it but if you ask for gluten free at this place where they spit in your face you get americans i don't know probably but now i don't know they are in venice they probably i don't know listen to me folks bread is for you it's not make the best bad for you do the best you can said taste the best while it's bad for you it's so good if that's the one car but you genesis the fermentation time oh it's the bacteria that builds up stops the breaks down the gluten proteins that's interesting i can eat gluten for the structure of the bread so it still has gluten have some gluten because that's the framework that's making it big and if you don't eat the crust we don't get the gluten now
no it's in there it's in there still there yeah it's in there i do science but there might be some other stuff i mean i think the problem really my just gut instinct is when you're eating all this gluten with other stuff it's it's so much of a added in there that's may be interacting with the gluten that's make giving you the problem this bread three ingredients apologist out water flour and salt that's it so you're not getting all this extra additives and stuff that are in there i think that's what's giving people really the problem so you think like preservatives in bread that like commercial bakeries use thirty ingredients ok like what kind of gradients are they you can't even announce them oh you mean i want that makes you make a good point the fda had change the definition of what bread was so they could deal with these commercial breads that's really yeah that's not really
technically what a bread is if you add all this other stuff it's not really bread ok so like what is wonder bread dodge delicious whole bunch of fun i look at this take wonder bread oh my god it's popular wonder plus white loaf with fiber ingredients unbleached wheat flour water sugar coat hall fiber yeast soybean or canola oil wheat gluten salt natural soy flavor sour flavor rather bacterial culture soy flour cult third wheat start solids vinegar soy lecithin uh huh it says look at this wonder bread not wonderful for your health than label why not just make an article called is sawyers things wonder bread before you like that's like saying hey kids if you drink to get drunk high fructose corn syrup who eat gluten forget this device is calcium sulfate
conditioners sodium sterile loyal lack coley x soul aksel waited at with mono and die gryllus arrives we'll look at this then go back i wanted to just that one might may or may not have actually been wonder but it wasn't what is it i don't know that officially says wonder bread ingredients let's keep fucking lying then we've lied this fake news baby yes is fake news ammonium chloride where do we stop euro calcium dioxide n'dour azo dye carbon amid banana jesus christ is morally this ammonium chloride ammonium sulfate an or am i calcium phosphate calcium propionate name ammonium sulfate right now i'm only a man your bread jim you must find out that's real now you've perplexed i've he can i pay yeah please i'll just keep reading the ingredients for right off the bag ok
quite often comma so it's all those things that was all those things that we were just talking about so all stuff really is in there wow that's nuts it's i guess boom boy you know you run into that thing where you say well if you want to have bread on the shelves in places where they're not growing any food like in order for it to be fresh enough for you to eat not get sick you i have some sort of preservatives in the bread which is like would one i would like to know a definitively how much does preservatives have an effect on your health everybody assumes they're really bad for you right don't you assume they're really bad for you i do too i would like to know what the fuck they do is what they're doing is they're not allowing bacterial growth right that's what a preservative is so if you have a loaf of bread and you put preservatives
it's stunting bacterial growth which will eventually take over and you brought your brother get moldy right so that's a poison got some sort of a poison on your bread yeah it keeps it from being addable to bacteria so instead of eating bread while it's fresh when you're supposed to eat it the only time you supposed to lead it yeah you've got some chemicals pumped into it once that too in your body exactly messing it up i mean what do you think is doing what is it doing physically check your body it's probably making it difficult to digest things you're probably not transferring real food into this nutrients that you need your system is going to work on this thing right anything you put in your body your body seems to react right and deal with it has to deal with it it's probably dealing with that and not in slowing down some other processes yeah bro science where the but i bet your broscience makes a lot of sense and i also bet you bro science could point to that if you're taking in
these things that are anti they essentially they stunt this again super bro signs there stunting these microbes growing on bread and mold growing on bread but you have a bunch of gut flora so if you take that stuff and you put it inside your gut yeah got floor has to be dealing with at least some of interest how much is left how much of the preservative is in the bread while your body is trying to break it down where this gut flora is used to digesting organic material now it's dealing with sodium lauryl icona fuckin' clastic super calla fragile it's probably taking out some stuff that you need to fight off other stuff in your nude percent man that's why antibiotics are so bad for you not because they don't cure diseases they definitely do but because they also wreck your whole biome like you have to take a bunch of probe biotics and get it system back to operating people have sometimes problems for
along time after operations because of the probiotics the probiotics which are important to keep you from getting infections but they're not without a price like your body pays a price for that i mean the it looked that there's been times when you walk in and you're like you had a bread like as an italian bread that you bought this from the supermarket near like three days later like this is probably know softap i could eat it gets too late this is like a week later it's like that's not good how long is a loaf of bread supposed to last if it when you but it should start getting hard immediately really like by the next day like that part that part that you cut that's exposed the stuff that's under the crust you know it it could last for you know days four days my grand father lived in a hard though and it neighborhood all italian neighborhood in newark new jersey nice and when i was a little kid we used to to the bread store he's here the bakery the bakery like every couple days
yeah they would have a loaf of bread it would sit on the kitchen table they would chop the white paper wrapper and pull it out of the rapper a little bit cut some slices push it back in the wrapper kind of roll it up but everybody knew is good for a couple of days in a couple of days later my grandpa would go down to the bakery and get it again and this same place had been in operation since like the 1920s like that that's great and it was cool little neighborhood bakery it's the vast and then you would go that with all your food you would do then you go to the fruit guy and get that then you can your meat from that guy and it was all it wasn't all meant to last forever yeah you know i think when i think about the time like we were talking about how hard it is to eat when you're on the road in like you know when you're pressed for time if you're running between obligate
yeah well these different things you're doing yeah it's hard to get good food in your system it is you know that's i did this weekend and i was eating i ate horribly i felt i was dragging all we can i just was putting crap in my body yeah in a pinch and i will it made it so so hard sometimes you're in a hotel and you like is there a side vegetable can i have just a site and then no what do you mean now you don't have a vegetable for me it's yeah it's really bad but that's why i'm make two loaves at a time and i literally have to go back to new york tomorrow and i just got in yesterday so while i got in fed the starter to get the bread going and now when i go home and then it made it in to tell this morning it's rising now a second bake this bread and then they'll have bread for the week and so i come back on friday that's awesome that's my job it's always so cool it's my job at the house that's so now
nice 'cause like that's something they're going to think about you every time they eat in your bread i daddy makes this it's funny that my kids will send me pics of sourdough from when they're like it's a restaurant with their friends or something to be like not very good yeah but i was gonna get out though is that like when you're on the road and you're on the hustle and you doing so many different things you don't have a chance to eat well and you definitely don't have the chance to like have a loaf of right and take some slices out of it and then another loaf in a couple of days like most people like way too busy but what i was going to get at is kind of like what you were talking about before that could you downside how could you downsize and if you did like would you be happier you might be you might be happier if you did less stuff you might be happier if you down more might be happier if you went and got bread every couple of days or you made your own bread every couple of days yeah whatever is keeping you can't do that i'm too busy whatever that is that might be the problem like we might in our rush
to be successful alot of people i think it's it's totally pop suppose that you overshoot the happiness spot yeah no i know i mean look if if i if i was the tom papa that started stand up the first week and you showed me where now yeah i would think oh pure bliss your bliss and now i am where i am and i'm like i don't know that old guy might have been a little happier guy who is just doing a spot for five dollars at the comic strip like i was pretty happy it was specially now when you know that you're going to wind up being successful yes the thing about like when the unknown is very stressful that's true at that time you were late my ever am get on conan yeah get we all you know that one guy at least a few guys that was really funny but for
no reason didn't catch on yeah right yeah i know it's none of those guys ton and so you always think about them like what about that guy whatever happened to that guy yeah no i know the death at a comedy club we like what we were all these people go yeah yeah stores got fuckin' haunted wall or some of the wallet guys just stop they just stop doing it plus it's like someone one of the scariest things right terrifying so i think we have a romanticizing instinct the human to human animal doesn't have gigantic instinct to go back to a time where ship made sense make america great again seriously but it is a novel thing every girlfriend you are with was pretty good everything you did was pretty great that literally so all his little crappy in your time those are fun yeah i don't know at the time you didn't think so probably so much you get in a fight with your girlfriend think about your ex girlfriend she
talk to me like that it's 'cause it's noble right like the futures unknowable so it's scary change that they were so that the country was going under like what do you mean there's these jobs going way what do you mean we're going soon what do you mean we got to deal with in the what do you mean like technologies taking over my life that's scary no fence where i go when i get my bread in the american eagle perched on my dick that's noble it it feels safer you could break it down to an m aga mega ash tag maggot thank it becomes if you come visit us again it's just the grunts type in a word well when the weather he represents that or not there can be no doubt that he is the king of the a key figure it out like he found yeah people that are going to support him almost exclusively yeah there's a lot of assholes if you could tap into them yeah
things a lot just got out this is the first one that made sense to them they were never politically active for walter mondale you know acyls didn't step up from his mitt romney no but then trump came along the dogs one of us boys yeah going to make america great again us this man is lives in a billionaire in little lives on the top of a tower in manhattan is one of us i saw a real the amazing dark video of this guy he got a traffic altercation with this black guy the black guys holding the phone the white guy come up to the to the window and the weather the first thing he says he said try all the way bro trump re i will try goes he goes you're telling me black lives matter goes you just can't say black lives matter you gotta show me black lives yeah
they would show me a reason 'cause you now you're just saying that he goes and you cut in front of maine and you spit up and cut in front of me that makes you a knigge are all he's filming him while this guy saying this over and i'm like wow man oh man that attitude that like he's opens up trump he opens up now it's no joke did not saying that everybody a trump supporters like that what i am saying is that don't even put that video i don't want to get that guy in anymore trouble that i'm sure you're already in but to that feeling now you can feeling is like your only get attacked that like that specific type of feeling like that now you avoid that ever that pops up like that's terribles it's called hate yeah well it's the so the angle that he went on it like these guys legitimate traffic altercation and that legitimate traffic altercation and was because one guy hit
blinker too late or cut in front of somebody or something like that if you're a fucking human being with any decency you discuss what happened right and maybe you fuckedup but maybe you should apologize and maybe he fuckedup and maybe he will apologize who knows but when you open up trump all the way trump bro black lives matter you know show main like where where's your head at this is this is how you're communicating with the person will be tapped you know he tapped into all degrees of that yeah all degrees of that when when people are being bombarded with white guys in ohio who are going out trying to work as a construction worker and that guys got three kids an he was told white moreover white men are done right was became like a trendy thing hold anybody that it's in all the media is just people saying white people had done white people have done this is completely different sites
are you reading the white people are done websites jamie said on twitter even having them post you gotta black twitter though you're always on black twitter even huffington post it's always about white male it's always a nother white male yes the job of the went yes a salon dot com next i'm saying that's a big thing and the people back guy who's being told that the jobs aren't for you right it's for these other people that's what's come but you're sitting there with your wife and two kids like alright look i get it guys had a good run you're saying white guys are kind of pass a word but i got i got christmas to pay for and i got i got it but i think that's such an extreme perspective on it that white people are done i think the big perspective the much broader perspective people that are trying to encourage diversity is that they feel like people discriminated against in the past it's time to balance now it doesn't mean that white people suck it just means
everybody is great but that's never bring wallet like that's the right way to look at it but you're going to have the extreme that go people suck why people stand down why people should shut the fa cup and let's talk now but that's not always to be the case was gonna have like fluctuations inside of a good idea for sure but there's it resonated i think white white people i tell other this is a morning after the election morning after right that whole night of what the hell what's happened who's what right i get up in the morning we'll a new puppy i take my puppy outside at six hundred o'clock in the morning six hundred and thirty in the morning i'm outside with the dog and i hear in the distance it's a quiet upscale neighborhood i hear ha yeah can you believe it haha yeah no way i'd like to i guess i like this has got to be this got about the election there so like now i couldn't believe it happened either i appear through it was like through the bush is
i see a white mercedes it's a white mercedes a guys talking to another guy they're talking i can hardly and what they're saying as the guy leaves like how right man i'll see you soon wait matter and takes off guy doing well in a mercedes living in this nice neighborhood and that was the first thing i heard the next morning there is a you can't you can't say that anybody else doesn't matter you can't put make people feel like they don't exist they they will fight back on all sides all the time that's a very good point and that's unfortunately with some people here like if you hear black lives matter will you here as well that means white lives don't or that means white lives do less or that means
we're trying to call because call attention to one very specific race only right and even though i completely understand why they're doing it i don't think there's anything wrong with black lives matter i don't think there's anything wrong with the idea of it but i think i didn't have this reaction to it but i know that some people probably did they immediately go yeah what about what people like there's just that fucking knee jerk are and that might not have had to happen like i think sometimes ideas the way they are displayed like sometimes people they do it because it feels like the right thing to do at the time of the right way to say it at the time but anytime you're inviting any sort of like anger or dispute it feels like you want to do that to push back but that she is going to come back this way it's way easier said than done but i think that a lot of what we see from this react gentoo to anything it's like aggressively progressive is like people when they feel like they're put
just like you have to listen to the way we see the world and then they want to go the fuck i do right now they want to push back and almost ramp up double down on the racism double down on their xena i'll be trying to correct wrongs it could it could come off as being aggressive an bullying to those people yeah specially if you don't agree with them like here's the thing man everybody thinks they are right whether it's your on the right or the left everybody thinks they have a moral imperative everybody thinks that they're doing the right thing unless you piece of ship right right let's assume people are for the most part are pieces of shit they think they're doing the right thing but this is the way they grown up they just so much of it is cultural when you look at the world today we're all just human beings but there's people they're living in parts of the world that must behave a way different way than we are allowed to behave because they're in trap
in a religious ideology that dominates their community right so it could be these poor kids in africa to get that female genital mutilation like how many of 'em you have it done to them it could be that it could be growing up a mormon in utah and a crazy fucking house filled with nutty more yeah or you know there's a million different possibilities roll the dice that you ended up there but apparently p well are just superflexible our behavior is really malleable and we're adaptable right we can fit into whether it's a horrible ideology like what happened what happened in world war two with with the nazis like they fell into a horrible way of living life right but that's a possibility it's going on right now in north korea is a possibility for people to fit into these little weird little package so if you see someone that
the weird package of existence that you don't jive with he got look at it like what you would you do if you were them like what if you would lived life and now you're looking at this from there but nobody from your perspective try if you can do imagine what it would be like to look at it from there's it's so random i mean especially like growing up here it's like you if you had been born just two hundred miles south in mexico it is wholly different total so what there's no like divine it's just you just got lucky that your up a little north you know what i mean it's just it's it's really really unsettling and that's one of the worst parts about the really simple build that wall build that wall build that well that really simple sentiment there's a problem with that
man it's just like it's between pride in what you are an having an animated that you need this enemy to take people down but i mean that's what we're saying before man it's like you're expressing fear you're going to get a push back if you pressing anger you're going to get it right if all of a sudden you like build that wall build that war seems to me to be a place that i want to get in now right you know and if you a person who wants to do something bad that's the spot that's way evil now because now you gotta big crazy wall right like there's gotta be some sort of recognition that almost like it has to come from the top it seems like it this has to be some sort of recognition that look the reality of our existence here is that we're extremely fortunate then the reality of other people's existence they got terrible luck right this is this is the undeniable reality of babies yeah one hundred percent of the time
all over the world right now baby worked hard to get where they are they just showed up this got lucky roll the dice she made the right body you know they were in manhattan alright he's my mom where are we living try back out this great italian restaurants here good schools were great place to grow up in my onesie it's made of casual lucky oh my god this is great you know but the difference between that and being born in a hut in the congo you know i mean you just got lucky yeah so that build that wall build up i get where you're coming from i understand the motivation to think like that but i really pretty firmly believe that anytime you put something like that out you get something like that that comes back at yeah it's hey anything that has a little hate you the edges you know there's a lot of people like that guy you say in that video and it's an aggressive yeah fuck yeah we got it we want this is our guy here we come
scary scary i've never been in it i've never lived in i've been here that long but there's never been after an election were large groups of people were scared yeah it's never happened unhappy pist off i can't believe we're going to do this cells in office never has there been large groups of families really legitimately frightened bar leader i feel like i feel like bill clinton should just step up and just say so this is why we always rigged the system we were trying to avoid this ok we were protecting you from your own selves a ridiculous desire to have famous people like you modulations yeah spring for a reason the greatest nickname for trump somebody called him cheeto jesus yeah
i've been using cheeto jesus that's yeah the election night it was really upsetting my wasn't my daughter was a fourteen year old girl who just heard you know she's smart she's you know high school freshman and just heard with this guy was about women and just heard what he was saying about you know handicaps whatever thing did you know that give him an excuse but i don't think he knew that that guy was handicapped then key just trying to mock someone who was dumb and he it turned out that the person who is mocking was handicapped and that's what right i don't see any knowledge of that before hand i don't think it was i'll give you that but if you didn't know it to make that gesture and act like that guy is just dumb like as a guy running for president it just was it was a bully it was a bully or sh move whether the guys handicapped or not handing the girls not having it well he i think he
i think that cut combat of relationships like that it's contest it's a war yeah and he'll he'll go out them with his personality right and that's what's odd for us and if they see that from a president right yeah there is no right so my daughter was just crying she was just crying she so a guy that says grab your pussy is now my present this doesn't make sense this guy that says global warming is a hoax this doesn't make sense did you brush up yet he said global warming is a hoax hoax created by the chinese and usually fuckin' said that yeah and she's like she's like watt just what the hell just happened i thought he was just skeptical i thought he was just sceptical about man man influence global warming 'cause that's what they like to call it right influenced influenced yeah have you ever seen like this the ice core samples of like what the earth used to be like just a few you know if you ten thousand twenty thousand years ago oh my god the ice level
rise and the sea levels rise and like this is a constantly changing topography and the like the natural shifts in the earth cycle i'm not a climate change denier at all these and gentlemen let me just get this out because if you talk about this people just get angry here trigger word it's not what i'm saying i mean i absolutely believe that we're talking on this planet that's not what i'm saying but without us doing that just without us doing that there's been constant cycle of change violent place and sometimes really really radical like giant shifts of temperature up and down and you know the big one being the ice age of course right that we can measure like fairly recently this most of this country covered by a mile to two miles i of ice right miles yeah so what's your point my point is this whole place is super voll right i mean this is for him to say that global warming is a hoax like
it's coming it's coming with you did it i did it if it's happening or the con with global warming was created by and for the chinese in order to make us manufacturing noncompetitive november two thousand and twelve c he was probably one of those dudes that believed in the mayan calendar she's like fuck it i'm going to say some crazy shit for december 21st two thousand and twelve is dead will be operating it will all be done that was that was something that people were saying back then too that was a popular piece to say a bunch of crazy shyt though number used to say that obama was born in kenya he was a truther bertha rather he was the birther yeah i mean he was the leader of that he would go and do a pet see you gotta wonder like how much that is showmanship how much of that will now i feel like i feel like it's the chauncey gardner thing you know from peter sellers became president right he was like the it was uh being there is it being there
and it was just he was this this gardener he just he had he was very simple and people just made it ultimately made him president just kind of wandered into the presidency and i feel like that with trump i feel like he wandered in and now people like well are these tweet genius are you see trying to manipulate us is human really intelligent is he really busy i think he just uses what he is you know i don't think i would believe very talented very charismatic rich is fuch riches falk he's gotta good sense of timing and stuff like that but falling out of control it's kind of empty vessel and you know the biggie sure though yeah i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure when you hear him talk about different things he doesn't really know about a lot of times one time at home alone i did he was on the marriage ref who it did next i was right there he would make comments about who made comments it was all about husbands and wives and you would show
husband and wife and then you talk about them in these you try and decide who's right in the argument the husband or the wife and all of his jokes were about the women's breasts who's all of his jokes were about well she's got you know these big things so that she said she'll be ok and then he would turn to me and give me a wink like not for the camera not i think just me on the side we just kind of wink at me like we're doing great here right i felt like this way before i knew anything about him running or anything it's just like this guy likes keeping me out i felt like i was date raped on my own show but he locked in during that show just like we're going to do great ratings tonight we're going to do great we're going to kill it we're going to do great i mean he was always that way just mantra the mantra the mantra i think i would be i would take it in it was a show be psyched i'll be psyched next to him yeah but there's a but you know you know how your next presentation i think maybe like this is great
there's you know you get vibes from people and the vibe was little like you know i mean i don't think you get to be that fucking rich without a little you just don't think you right there yeah i think you stop along the way like we were talking about balance and perspective about realizing that you know maybe you know maybe you should like scale back a little bit maybe you'll be happier maybe you missed the happy spot he never thought about that for a fucking second i know like right now he's like seventy still making deals with argentina to put up hotels and she said it was like there was like one deal with a foreign country is an issue because it was like right after he became
residues trying like push this they congratulated him he's trying to like push this deal through quietly think he took the taiwan call his in september they are creating a thing in taiwan they want to make it like to buy like a hub for international asian asian travel and they're in the mix they've been talking to trump the word trump is worth so much more now oh my god it's one thing and i mean that's all he wanted so how do you not i mean so how do can't pull away now we've made it this is this is when we take over the planet number who had the original thought but i agree with this thoughts not mine i thought originally but that what is interesting about trump is that care so much about how people like him so because of that the will of the people whether it's marijuana or whether it's whatever it is maybe it's nonviolent drug offenders that have been in jail forever no fucking reason that makes any sense to anybody now that were if you take and you put some
digit in jail for life in nineteen seventy for marijuana smoke marijuana in las vegas that uh and still in jail crazy and you are you're the president now mister trump please let them out please just you know let's find a way to get these people jump they weren't they weren't arrested because what he did was wrong they were tested because there was a thing written down on a piece of paper that said it was wrong not really wrong there's nothing wrong with what they did like just because it was written on piece paper doesn't mean we should honor it so many years later when we would never act accordingly you would never know with the fuck no in this country is going to go to jail for the rest of their life 'cause they have a joint but isn't it entirely possible to someone in this country has gone to jail for the rest of life for a joint absolutely especially if you get inside and then all sudden you get in a fight in jail which happens all the time and someone dies and you wind up getting charged with murder i mean that kind of stuff happens to people over a nonsense
it's bullshit or s aren't most people in jail because of drug related we just pulled it up today was like forty six percent non what drug offenders forty six percent in jail it's a lot it's insane but the thing is like you say he wants to be popular and he wants to be well liked and all the thing going to find out is on what level does is he looking for that proval is it from the masses saying this stuff or is it the guy the guy that came in if is it sessions that comes in and says i think that we should we should go there way and he once again earned the respect of that guy we have a of course is coming in that we didn't vote for that are going to be controlling a lot because he's going to be kind of delegating it out we don't really know where he stands it's that's the most everything is that it's kind of unknowable we don't know how much in control
he's going to be all these other people going to come in and fill that vacuum and they're going to be in control but that was the big argument against the nda the national defense the defense authorization act that within a year that was the one that allowed for indefinite detainment you don't need a warrant you just arrest people yeah and and detain them indefinitely without they don't have to have a speedy trial the right to a speedy trials been revoked and everybody was like well that's fine 'cause obama is not going to use that right when the question was like ok obama might not be using it but what happens if a new president gets into office and he's crazy everyone is like don't worry that's not going to happen well guess what yeah you fuckedup fact i don't trump has the nda on his side he can use it now and add to that an incident add to that some kind of nine hundred and eleven and then he really takes advantage of it you never know you never know you never know one thing that should be taken in the relation though is that he's a businessman and one of the things about
things like legalizing marijuana or going against legalized marijuana it doesn't makes sense from a business standpoint because there's too many of us that smoke it like j pull up the numbers like what percentage let's just say guess you're tom papa percentage of americans do you think smoke marijuana what percentage of adult we can still smokes marijuana i would put it at i'm going to put it like smoking on the regular so once a month more than once a month once a month i would say that that number is at forty six percent i bet you're right i was going to go in the 40s too i was going to say like forty three yeah but i think forty six rang in my head too yeah that's a good number i think you're dead on that's about guess hard static i maybe gallup poll gallup polls emotion yeah all go there anyway it was it's a says one eight u s adults said they smoked marijuana out there they are one eight people
dumb enough to answer a fucking pole for his sons pitches i had a little bit of my it's based on a true pole or forty six other people believed in the creationist account of the earth that the earth was less than ten thousand years four thousand six hundred and forty six percent forty six percent but as a gallup poll so it's forty six percent of people answered that was a little bit my right right so like how ridiculous that's not you're not getting a good test group right actually answering the question or answer the phone in there talking as a result some stiff or ask for yours and so they have tried it okay so that's for three percent of it was legal would be smoking pot eighteen currently use it except for a few pussies that couldn't handle the truth so i one thousand people so you can't handle the truth yeah it's not that many but it's i have to put a lot of tax dollars into the economy it's a tremendous amount of money i know if it's really four
whatever the hell it is percent tried it what was the percentage that right at one four thousand three hundred and forty three dude that's the number i guess crazy man that's pretty good to another question why you was in yeah i don't think those people against you voting wise that's a pretty significant people the stoner dollar has been ignored yes but you say you make those as a businessman but the other people that are fighting against that or all the farm suitable companies and they have a lot more money than these kids smoking pot a business man walks into his office and says hey this the way it's really going to go this is what we really need that is permanent though isn't it possible that the people acting collectively have more more influence collectively financially than a corporation if it's been exposed impossible
because the internet there see that right now the corporations of a lot more power right right now right now but you know you watch you know musk is muskies torn down yet they're coming adam oil wants to stop and they want to stop selling this car is they want to do all this stuff but he's the will of the people's kind of protected him put him through you know iron man is going to be president right i hope so i hope so this is delivered last chance he's my healer back around we need any pets running this thing we tried assholes it anymore he's got a little mix of both doesn't he don't you want to see what happens with the trump thing what if he can breakdown the structures gonna see that my whole part is like you know we are revolutionary people let's tear some stuff down and let's not be afraid to take down some walls and let's shake
is up and move that's a little bit of a revolution break this system that is broken anyway five percent let's just hope that it's safe let's hope that it's not empower the wrong people he's he's really interesting what he's been trying to say about lobbyists too but when how long you need to take a break after a job in government before you should be like the lobbyists and it sounds good lot of lot of good ideas that's not so bad who knows that so let's see and then ellon musk comes in i'm rooting form two thousand and twenty he comes in riding the wave elon canty ladies are going to be doing to be on mars by then he's getting to mars he's is getting the market blew up the satellite for the african kids that are going to get the internet for the african kids so they could send the dick pics through the air it's alright and you got to fail you gotta fail to succeed there wasn't a facebook thing yeah zuckerberg
satellite for internet access you still get it he's got money maybe spacex doing just fine he's going to fund nasa they say spacex is going to castle you brought that up because he was also a victim of some fake news there was some fake news nichols that were written about him that people actually quoted a funny line our on the line and about how much you learn musk made off of the government and like how much of his his businesses lose money and it was an anonymous account like some they try to trace the name of who i written this article or more than one article and they couldn't who the writer was like somebody it was a fake name the store didn't jive right numbers didn't pan out you need to prepare just do that stuff that's that's going to be the key i want with stories 'cause i'm just talking about it and very find out what that story is jamie if you could find out the fake news
story about elon musk he's the greatest he got he got somebody wrote something i'm ninety six percent yeah sure i know what the fuck i'm talking about forty percent sure you do while so much less confident now at you can see say with authority line must calls out the fake news troll call them a national disgrace yeah yeah it is a fake news story okay so what was it at least we identified fake news that's going to be right did tractor comes wrapped up in the package of legitimate journalist yeah there it goes he's being trolled by a merrick got turmeric remember that word is what is that which shoe merrick c h i xu mereka c h i m e r i see was a word mean where is it with their bias show merrick writer calling himself stepped shepherd stewart
see that right after that excellent role by sure merrick writer that's where jamie google that word right so she may that al look up in dictionary was i should say look it up in a dictionary rich make sure merrick let's say a word looks like a fucking little animal look at that little thing little furry sucker shimmer shimmer shimmer is a single or thanks jim relating to derive from or being genetic action america or its genetic material okay go back once asked one of his own them like a rat this thing is rat like man click on up one we're just read yeah the whatever the one was to have right before that one well ok let's just look at it right there but scroll down that little definition on top is a little bit more lengthly
we go so a single organism composed of cells from different zygotes ok so will sell like an amoeba hold on top go back this can result in male and female organs to blood types or subtle variations in form now go that story again ok to merrick writer calling himself shepherd stew sold by this one celled ism writer yeah so that that's an insult i guess yes okay in the wake of the two thousand sixteen u s presidential election two major issues rose to the surface dissemination of information fake news in accusations of biased journalism ok so elon musk can anyone cover who is rewriting writing these fake pieces at school called for the internet help yeah his can't be this guy is working
better than that and then they click on that article click on that article and finance see if they took it down yeah pretty great elon musk versus the trolls oh okay they switched it to this it's just essentially elon musk call now this guy for the fake article i don't think the fake articles up anymore i think the he's the coolest but i think that's just you can do now this guy who is reading read about earlier this guy can get ten bucks a month yeah by just making stuff up just make up stories made somebody made up an article about me getting in a fight with a mountain lion that i kill them outline at the icehouse really ridiculous my sister called me up and asked me is true oh my god but they just do that all day so they do that all the day you know jodie foster visited by real aliens if they do that you like and then you have her sitting there talking about it like six if you're a dumb ass you're going to send it to your friend yeah jodie foster his fucking coming out man
finally the agenda is being known the aliens are real they're here bro i knew it yeah and just keep putting him out one of 'em is going to stick right i mean in my head bro better definition so another definition unreal imaginary visionary atri mericle terrestrial paradise wildly fanciful or highly unrealistic to miracle plan interesting unreal imaginary or visionary so it was an imaginary writer elon musk well it sounds like a real writer with an imaginary name so it's just a pseudonym essentially a suit in with a fucking person's pseudonym bohnam pump i wonder like businesses hire people to do things like that to discredit them yeah like we have here ford and the
the guys who just get a little too fucking cocky and there was some dude like henry ford type character over it chevy yeah like some magnanimous gigantic larger than life figuring started writing some fake shit about him pawning money off the government and eating pizza at this place where they have pet feel your artwork in the old days they called it yellow journalism the hearst newspapers they'd plants fake stories in the papers and people would think that they were true and you try and takedown titans of business that you're competing against in all the rest of it it's always existed we know that's what william first did against marijuana oh that's how marijuana became illegal really you know now i did not you don't know the full stoner bible story now the biblical creation story of the stoner meth really this is what year that would be 1930s post right after prohibition alcohol prohibition the
happened was they came out with a machine called a de corps to cater and the decor to cater allows them to process hemp fiber more easily with this machine it cranks it through this happens this spectacular fiber yeah like a buddy of mine had a hemp stock over his house but todd mccormick is like pick it up man i picked up was like whoa it's a white boe also would like but hard like a mahogany oh it's weird yeah very very strange bamboo china no no no no bamboo is hollow it makes sense that it's like this is like a just stock like a wrist side like my wrists stock right that's bamboo that's the hemp plant so that you can get it there's these different forms of it i can see that one in the upper right hand corner like that so this is somebody had he had it like that so you would pick it up it would be super light but ridiculously hard he's like dude it's alien it's an alien planet todds very very smart right
written books on growing marijuana is like one of the first guys together get arrested for growing medical marijuana and then when he went to court he found out he was not even allowed to use the term medical so you're not allowed to say it because they don't believe in it federale so even though it was legal in california what they did is they prosecuted him with federal laws which don't allow for the even the fray is medical marijuana he wasn't even allowed 'cause it was a federal trial he wasn't even allowed to mention that it was legal in california so the who are the in the jury they they get this totally skewed perspective of what happened and you have to vote on it you know as a juror you have to decide based on the law and the law is federale it is illegal there's no such thing as medical marijuana so you can't even bring it up and if you brought it up it's like contempt of court and her started all this he started and what have was when they came out with a decorticator william randolph hearst
paper mills and he also owned these forests of trees that they would convert into paper he made his own newspaper an printed on that paper and then popular science magazine how to cover that said hemp the new billion dollar crop and it was all about the invention of the de corps to cater and how now they be able to fend processes because the used to help for ever because i didn't have a cotton gin then when they came out with a cotton gin and a lot of people shifted over to cotton because especially at the end of slavery because it wasn't really financially sound till all that time processing all that fiber to get cannabis or to get canvas whether it when you can just get it out of cotton and be like way easier now with this cotton gin the cotton gin set change the game and then the d cordy cater change the game again and that's when william randolph hearst came in and they started writing all these stories about well telling people to write stories i'm sure
when people to write stories about this new drug called marijuana it's forcing blacks and mexicans to have sex with white women and rape white women and marijuana wasn't even a name for the can for cannabis the word was uh old mexican tobacco that was where that's what marijuana originally was really so then when you called it marijuana they weren't like that if you talk to mexicans about that like with the for like back then they like what the you talking about like that's that the wild tobacco type one now they call the marijuana 'cause pick cannabis was something that everybody had used they used it for a text while they used for oil there's so many people that were using it already for clothes and this is canvas is based on the word cannabis she's they used it for cloth it's a crazy cloth man and it works really hard to break like if you get ahold of like i have a guy that is uh to sorrow made me a jiu jitsu guy made out of hemp they sell these hemp keys for a fucking thing
like indestructible yeah yeah there's something about like when you take hemp and you turn it in fiber or into other cloth or into a paper crazy how durable it is so why didn't so then get laws passed to criminalize it exactly well that yeah you had to have like a tax stamp to grow it for hamp in the cup became more include creasing more more difficult what it what what so they were never able to separate it as a drug in the thing no because it's too close to closely rated genetically you know it's alright it's basically what you could you know there's different strains of it they they grow it were specifically not psychoactive right but all the male plants are not psychoactive right it's only the female female plants that have the flowers right and you can count staminate female plants and there's like some sort of a process that they have to do when they're growing them to keep them from changing each other pollinate each other yeah they like you
too many males with females that can actually phuc up the females right again like it's really kind of crazy right but that's the only stuff so i guess the issue maybe you would have somebody that was pretending they weren't growing the psychoactive stuff and that they were only grown but they were also selling it as a drug and then you would have an issue there legal in rye well i mean you know you when you find out like hearst putting out those stories you know to get his way and then big tobacco is putting all these documentaries come out like thirty years later of all stories this guy was hired as the one where the these small group of scientists were like oh there it was from the tobacco they were putting up is about the tobacco good for you and all this kind of stuff and they're going to take away free and then they that all dried up and now they're on climate change yeah now now those same guys the same organizations are putting up fake news and being talking heads again
global warming it's a it's a documentary yeah many on what's called right esters of doubt is that it yeah yeah yeah that's it yes things call ministers of doubt i mean so sure yeah these this this fake this is happening all forever forever and yeah driven by money if you have a lot of people that have a lot of money that's why if someone comes president and then when the president elect trump and then tweet something that's not true about him losing the popular vote because millions of people voted illegally right when you say stuff like that that's why will get scared and nervous because there's a long history of people who have what you're going to have donald trump is going to have ultimate power yeah he's going to that position then what the position of ultimate power but with that comes just a massive massive responsibility so for him to continue to do stuff like that which is like a strategic
he got a kind of let all that go just like he said he was going to let all of his business is going to let his family run business is going to completely step away urge him let all that other stuff go to like trying to try to rise to this crazy position now see one of forty how many people have been president now what is he four thousand and forty forty six four thousand six hundred and forty fifth forty six merchants so oh merchants of doubt thank you merchants of doubt is documentary so when he tweets about alec baldwin then on saturday night what did he say he said as he watched it tried to watch snl again so not total fail totally biased it come on man yeah he's gotta realize it's funny funny man is he doing that because he doesn't want people to talk about taiwan this is the funny discussion is he brilliant or is he just crazy that's really
we're dealing with is he so savvy that he wants everybody not to pay attention to that i one phone call and changing deck shades of how we treat i want or is that wait we did get to or is he just taiwan com this tweet is another thing yeah it's that i think it did at that time one thing he just avoid it just not talk about it like what is he doing what did you do a taiwan he he contacted taiwan he says they concert and that's he tweets his defenses they called me thanks a prop you are the policy for forty years is that you're dealing with one china and taiwan wants to be one thing you don't treat them the same way that you do greater china the taiwan is part of china's huge so the the way that the devil diplomats have worked it your friendly with taiwan but you don't recognize them as like their own governments you don't invite them to the white house you don't our leaders have never talked to their leaders so
he gets phone call and he's like hey what's up yeah we're cool and then china is like whoa whoa whoa wait we have this whole structure of the way the world works and in one uncle this is talk about power one receiving one phone call shook that whole part of the globe let me just first of all start off with china sounds like a dickey friend guy friend that wants to control you and will let you talk to other people so you want make friends with this new guy in the new guy wants to make friends with you and china is like no fuck that now you don't even get to talk to them it's that part is valid i was everything yes to me that's everything it's all there it there unless i mean that's like saying taiwan's doing we're not supposed to talk to them like north korea i give all this and they started to like chat with n korea and started selling taco bowls over there you know yet what is this this is from the washington post about the call says the message as john bolton correctly puts it was that the president united states will talk
to whoever whomever he wants if he think it's in the interest of the united states and nobody in beijing gets to dictate dictate rather to dictate who we talk to well that seems to make sense to maine what are we going to not talk to people because if we do china gets mad that sounds like a shitebag relationship it's similar to obama talking to iran i've had friends like that where they go like you can't talk to the person but if you do you have an enemy i'm not going to like cozy up to someone that's your enemy but if you not like somebody doesn't necessarily mean that i don't like him right just 'cause i like you like i don't have like everybody you like like that sounds that's fucking crazy yeah that's crazy yeah now i mean you know obama talking to iran it's like well how is never going to get better and less our leaders talk exactly you never going to you're never going to get anywhere except what if china tells you can't talk to them like what my right says who but here the thing with the thing with the phone call is we
no did he just pick it up and not is heal it was he totally unaware hey bro of our relationship with him said he was briefed for that phone cloud saying they said he was doing so you heard you were talking to mike man i thought we were clear you don't talk to mike man like spaceship he just what he did he called maine no no mike said piece of shitfuck him in his whole yard i don't know he seems like alright i mean he just followed his yard you can't go over his yard i don't want to do business i just he's not that bad fuck my he said some good things about you i'm done with you going to war child sounds like the biggest asshole give imagine what a fuckin' caddy cat like teenager china sounds like looks at you can buy him and talk to them talk to them we're going to war are we going to war are you serious we're going to war over this i will totally go to war over this financial war it's call the lawyers start suing you what why are suing me man i don't understand the whole uh
understand the whole asia aspect of our of global policy all well let me tell you this i don't the ufc this is my what i understand about some asian businesses or at least japanese businesses the ufc bought this company called pride and boy they get hoodwinked who killed my goodness the way they did it was wonderful first of all the way the things of this masterful way of doing negotiating business where they talk to you about maybe will do business we're thinking about doing business not today and made we will come back and discuss this at a later date and they would come back we're really thinking about selling his business and then the ufc and pride started trading fighters they did like a goodwill so with this did was elevate the brand of pride and make print pride even bigger in the united states like they had silver come over and faced off with chuck liddell and chuck liddell over there to fight people and they had all
negotiating stuff going on for a long time and then finally the ufc comes in and buys them out this big historic thing take photos shaking hands turns out they bought nothing what they bought was essentia lee like a library of fights and all the contracts that the fighters had there were all bad they're all illegal valid had a couple of contracts some guys they had take over and like oh jesus christ it's just chaos and as far as like we're going to run that business over business where they got over there and they're like oh my god we run this like you can't run it without the acu the people that were all like you have to have like the consent of the japanese mom to run the country with the company over there and like that was like one of the chinese sunk know japanese japanese there was one of the things that like sunk organization when it was publicly released allegedly allegedly that the ukusa was involved yeah but they went over there they bought this
that this library and then while they have these ufc employees the employees all started a new business called dream and they just fucking start it up with a whole new thing to know so they weren't like they bought pride and pride's dead the same japanese people have done we have dream like but hey you guys were working for us there's our show what the fuck is this like they bought they bought like air you know maybe we are all a noble to each other and this is why this is part of why brexit went down is part of why trump won this is why italy just their prime ministers now leaving populist vote everybody want everyone is like being told we've got to deal with the world globalization we gotta deal with everybody and everyone is hard to say you know it's not really helping us do we have to talk to the chinese do we have to deal everybody or do we have to all be one europe everybody is starting to kind of retreat maybe globalization is an idea on the paper
seems like it will work but practically it's not taking hold i'm going to communicate through tesla hivemind because in the future everyone is going to have to have an electric car and test is going to be the first to figure out that the best way to pilot your car is actually with a headset put on a headset very light those electrodes are all be bluetooth to your car and that thing will great by your mind but the best way it'll probably be why for is to do that is you've got to be on google hive minds network so then you download the thoughts or you project the thoughts through the head gear as pure intention so every he knows where everybody is going as they're driving 'cause you can see pure intention from a mile away and that becomes universal language of human beings when they realized the cause of english and spanish and chinese and dutch japanese and korean no one can understand what they were talking about through google hive mind this is inside connected to the tesla that drives around is this is the in the next update
this always listen one more hit of that take another here that you have some good ideas one more hit of the i don't even know what the name i don't even ask names of pot anymore it's all ridiculous yeah pretty blown away i really felt like an old man in a pot shop like so she was like this is this is king kong or something and i was like oh everybody knows this name i i didn't realize i thought this was your own little bro yeah i was so lossed they wouldn't let my mom in a pot shop entire she never she never id good for them you have to have laws yeah i think she's legal folks i mean it's flattering and everything i'm sure she loves you happy yeah so yeah i think they have to mark down who you are they didn't didn't know they just look at your ship bro you don't even know bro it bro you're right it's home
i just did three hours man we did already now this is a time this is part of the hive mentality understands weirdness in this place that's what happens it's weird it is i'm worried that if we studios will lose that magic of three hours just disappearing when are you moving i don't know bro bra not bro brown moved to sherman oaks thinking about it bro go to sherman oaks proud they get about it now i'm thinking no come on there's lots of good space in sherman oaks right by my friday night tom papa on epics um what time the new specials at eight hundred o'clock i think anna epics isn't like on directv it's on but every we can get epics for free for the month you watch on your phone or your lap
whatever else go to apple dot com you'll be able to tell you your special and then there's a lot of other specials to their on epix jim norton i know as well merrin has special all those are male blacks well online like you check them out on the yeah the website yeah for sure and and then it goes to i tunes next week well i can we check it out brother appreciate it thanks a lot tom man mutherfucking papa ladies japanese b instagram twitter facebook bakery near yourself before you wreck yourself inside joke alright folks did you see tomorrow by john smith tomorrow thank you everybody for two and into the podcast thank you to caveman coffee company providing me with your wonderful brew caveman coffee co dot com is the best coffee fuckin' jamie soshite to look at me that way those shoes they also have a non caffeinated stuff that's awesome they have this new nitro t that's delicious it is a hibiscus tea with
the nitrogen infused hibiscus tea it's got like the add nitrogen to it bubbles and chip nitrogen which comprises eighty something percent of the the atmosphere whether you know it or not add that to your drink and uh it makes it yummy zero calories zero sugar delicious and also amazing coffee caveman coffee co com use the code word rogan and you will save ten percent off any other awesomeness thank you all go to square space you can build your own bad as bitchin' mother vogan website with square space seriously all commercial aside it's a great way if you need website just go there and check it out i guarantee you can make an awesome sightsquarespace dot com forward slash joe go there and you'll get ten percent off your first purchas thank you also to stamps dot com don't torture yourself by going through the find the post office you don't have to do it anymore man don't do good man
go to stamps dot com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in jree for this special for which is a four week trial plus one hundred ten dollars bonus offer including postage and a digital scale so click on the microphone and type in jre anne thank you every week two on it go to on it use the code word rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements there were done selling ship and down with the podcast and done for the day that's it thank you everybody for tuning in appreciate the fuckity people thank you to all the bull that came down at the comedy store the other day and having a lot of fun and it was nice seeing you folks and that's it keep steady find an over here you know door we will see you tomorrow with the great kevin smith they'll be uh
afternoon and then joey diaz is here on wednesday so holla at your boy
Transcript generated on 2019-10-31.