« The Joe Rogan Experience

#903 - Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban

2017-01-24 | 🔗
Joe sat down with Tony Hinchcliffe & Redban to do a podcast Live from The Comedy Store basement.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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all that stuff is free. There's also an audit Academy in Austin TX that has awesome classes great Jim and it also has tenth planet Jiu Jitsu does it we did it who, so this podcast is a podcast that we did right after we did kill Tony we did kill Tony, which is Brian Redban and Tony Hinchcliffe, and a bunch of am comedians go up, and then we fuck around with them and have some fun. We did that tonight in the belly room, and then we came down here and how to do a little podcast, uh together yay. So that is what
fuck. This is an giant Pichel Logan experience join my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, Tony Hinchcliffe hiding right now in the basement from Cris Cyborg. This Justin President Trump has not responded to any of Tony's calls he's ignored. All of his tweets Tony does not know what to do. Brian Redban is not helping. I'm trying to find the sound effect for breaking news. We don't need do baby, boo, Cyborg, outside giant icons on your phone. Did you switch the size of your icons, regular size, that's a sort of those. So that's why I was confused. I thought, like you had some hacked your phone. I all sudden wanted that. That's how stoop
people are. I see like like a different size. I Congo owns, did anyone I have long. I just bought a hacked fire. Stick off Ebay. You know stadiums on one yeah, it's one of those things where you put in your. You have everything movies that are in the movie theaters. Yet every single tv show paper views yeah you get and yeah all everything you get well know what those little those little Amazon things or the little Google ones. Those little Google sticks. You stick 'em in a US report on your computer or on your tv, and you can stream something from your computer right to that and it plays in the tv how in the fuck does that work? 'cause. Like you apple tv, I have apple tv, it's like a like a big MAC sized, but this is like a this be stick. It's got a little processor, the same like in the cell phone in it. That means yeah.
I don't have any of that stuff works. I can barely get the tv I have to work because I was watching some fight to the death on ESPN three and if you knew this, but ESPN three is not really on a station. It's a it's. A website on yeah, there's ESPN one and ESPN two. Those are both on tv but esp and three is like a website, so they glory fights on ESPN three got an issue here: young jamies in here there must be an issue esp and three I had to watch the fights on ESPN three because they were on you have the fight pass at glory on up until this one fight and then from that one fight on it was on ESPN three, so I had it on my laptop and then I said: well, oh, I don't have a fucking apple laptop anymore. Now I can't like shoot it directly to the Apple tv, and then I found all you need is one of those little drives. He stick that soccer on your tv. Are you sure I could
yeah god that's how that works, a little usb drive, and then you could do it right from your phone to your. I just bought an antenna the other day, just to see like what local channels I can get holy shit. Huntress signal, one hundred and twelve. I gotta one hundred and twelve channels there all mexican and have all the way he was just distress signals like the first episode of fear, the walking dead I think I hear something cheap sure and shot. There's one channel that just plays like Johnny Carson in like old shows from the eighties could call and then there's just like yeah there's a russian mexican and korean when it is we're just watching like all these free channels. Well, it had that was one of things with radio one of things that happened with radio is in LA in particular they would close down like when they closed down that FM talk station, there's an FM talk station and they close is it down and then a mexican station popped up. I think at
another talk show many much. Not every FM station in LA is a very mexican stations. All a lot of mexican like morning, radio shows all of them there. They all sound the same. There's always like some big macs singing. I in some like little tiny guy, it's always like it is. He did point to sit in the the point. Seven, you some Japanese, that's terrible, yeah, that's a terribly many asian action. Definitely not a worst race. Is super mix again the radio station MAX king of all time, but when I would pass by these bus, stops like all over LA and see these billboards that were for these stations that you're never going to listen to. You know like this one neighborhood that my Ex gardner, next Gardner used to fight chickens. He was, he was a funny dude man. He came over here a couple times from Mexico he's look over here
but over in America, and it's not back and it's not back again wow. What do you mean? He fought chicken he used to have chicken fight fight without human. He is really not really him in terms of he would go, he would go, but the other people would actually fight the chickens, and it was like this thing where all the men in this community would go and they all had these roosters I mean, is we went to this guys place and went to check out his backyard and he had I, no one hundred rooster cages and I'm not bullshitting their fucking stacked on top of each other, and then they had an arena. You'd go into the arena was like a little barn and is like a little sunken in area that they had dug out and put like a little fence around and that's where they would check the chickens in, and so they have two guys and they would handle the chickens and they put spurs on the chickens. So it's not just the chickens fight each other. But they put little razor blades on their feet, yeah and then they bet on who wins the fight and then, when they win like what? When the, when you know that either one both chickens are like there say
actually dead, like maybe, if you're lucky you're chicken doesn't get totally fucked. Are there chicken commentators, someone like, and here we crow something like that? You know what I mean fuck and here, you can help yourself crow. You can help you bird fighting yeah, but it's apparently a huge thing in the mexican community. But it's interesting is like you, member, when Michael Vick, on that big horrible situation when they found out that he was killing dogs and he had dogfights. And you know this terrible thing is eh can dogs nothing all all throughout the S every day, it's a huge part of their culture. Animal fights like dog fights, but much more so chicken fights and chicken fight is a weird one. Where you clock kind of okay with it, you know, like people, have a hierarchy of animals that they give a shit whether or not they're having a bad life and chickens. Are
super low on that scale. It's sort of weird that the black people have dogfights in the Mexicans. Have chicken fights you would think the black people would have chicken fights 'cause, then they could just have dinner afterwards. You know what I mean their favorite. Well, the Mexicans eat chicken stew, don't know racist sonofabitch, but mine makes again Zita dogs, kids, eat sushi sushi served at a samurai sword. My ex girlfriend used to live like the ghetto part of LOS Angeles, and it was always so weird at like six in the morning. How many? Oh you hurt like it, was like a lot like crazy, just get used to it. It becomes like norm for the community right for someone to have a fucking rooster and we were tripping our balls off in Joshua Tree one night and it was like three or four hundred am the sun was not out at all, and there was one rooster that in the middle of the night, was like an. We were always
the group the comedians on us and we started dying riffing about this, like you know how out of control this chickens, life is where you know he's such an idiot, but he's barking in the middle of the night. All the other check in the like there. You look is blowing his load early over here. Well, I'm mushers is dying in this maturity. Jacket waiting, basically chicken when I was blind- and he was just like- didn't- want anybody to know so. Maybe it's clogs off. He took a nap earlier in the day who just jumped the gun yeah? Maybe the guy would jump the gun fell way to refresh, for maybe you felt that you guys run mushrooms a site to you know: they're gonna eat us. This is these people are crazy or that were on mushrooms in like this will be hilarious. Oh they'll love this watch this three in the morning bomb yeah, maybe you're very presents, or maybe you guys are allowed, and you woke him up. Probably we were laughing that's right. What it is, it's a fun, probably pissed. It's probably a dog barking.
It's probably a bunch of reasons why a chicken does that not just because they wake up, but also maybe could fuck you shut trying to sleep over here something. But if I sleep with my feet on a stick, do they they perch? So they They climb up. We have these areas in my chicken coop or they climb up and they put their fee down and we have other areas where they like it go into a little chicken house and they could go inside and there's like a little roof on the chicken house. They fucking never use it. They don't you yeah, but they don't want to sit down. They want to like have their feet on some triangular, to grab on something and hang on to weird, because they used to perch like in the wild, your body is designed. We think of it as our free will. If I had to hang on my hands, I'd, be so fucking, tired but their hands are so different, like their feet are designed for that, like it doesn't make them tired,
evolutionary advantage. They can live in trees. How many chickens do you have twenty three wow? I don't know yet that many yeah have a gang of chickens fresh eggs like everyday how many eggs is twenty three a day depends on the time of year, like this time of year, starting out there making a lot of eggs 'cause it's cold out. It's been raining and when there's less sunlight, They make more eggs, so through a lot of eggs away or do you just know know give him away go away, but I eat a lot of him. You know: if there's, if there's twenty three of them. They might make ten eggs a day, and I probably five of those- maybe six- that's great yeah. I eat a lot of eggs. Everybody tags leading and eggs are not bad for you. That's a fucking! Long standing myth that someone concocted in the nineteen 50s, and there was a New York Times article about it. If you really interested is terrible, but the sugar companies for not that much money for what's like in a man in dollars today, like fifty thousand dollars, they paid off
a bunch of scientists to fake these reports and write reports, saying that saturated fat was causing people to have heart disease and gay overweight and not when it was really sugar. What about cholesterol? To not bad for you, only cholesterol, not bad! For you! It depends on what kind of cholesterol there's certain types cluster all that people have genetic propensity's for the not good What is ldl cholesterol and then there's actually like different sizes of different ldl cholesterol, and some of it's actually good for you and some of it's not good for you. This hd cholesterol, but diet. Cholesterol, like eating dietary cholesterol, doesn't move, it doesn't move the blood lipids! Doesn't change, not what changes? Your cholesterol? It's like sedentary lifestyle and natural in sugar and processed foods. Those things elevate, cholesterol, more than eating things with. First of all, it's very strange, and then saturated fat, we all grew up thinking, saturated fat was bad. That's why add? Margarine margarine is fucking illegal. Now, do you know
is this. You know. Trans fats are illegal. Now you know trans fats in the next three years. They have to remove them from food. They three more years to take them out of food. They gave him like a grace period of three years, so these companies can shift their manufacturing what's wrong with some food that has transfats that we all ships a lot of like doritos and shit. I don't know if Doritos with Fritos, so you find some shit with Trans fats in it yeah. So those are going to start tasting different soon, probably tastes good. Well, it might taste better honestly. The thing is that people thought they like. Margarine was good for you. Margarine is fucking terrible for you, yeah saturated fat is bad for you, Sacha you're fat is good for you. That's how fucking stupid. We are our whole lives. We grew up with shitty information and a lot of it is because scientists were paid off by the sugar company there's a whole new York Times article about it's stunning You're reading you go. Oh my god. This is like responsible for who knows how many millions of people making poor dietary choices and perhaps ruling in the quality of their life.
Ruining the amount of energy. They have ruining the amount of inspiration they would have. Their body was fucking with them, causing all sorts of premature death and disease is, and it's not exaggeration. This is like a subject that is been like gnawing at me for years now, it's it's a crazy, crazy subject: yeah I've sort of been talking about it lately at graze upon it. In my stand up about how, like you know, fat, something that you need an carbs, which is what makes you fat, is something that you don't need, but we call fat people fat and that's insulting. That's why I don't call fat people- I call them carbs problem with this, like carbs, aren't even necessarily bad for you. It's sugar, sugars, what's bad for you and the issue isn't carbs because carbs with fiber, like some carbs like Ezekiel, bread, not bad for
and it's just amazing, though, like the marketing of it, though you're right, because it's like you're taught that sugar is sweet and sugar is good and give your kids candy on Halloween and sugar sugar sugar, and then we call fat people fat. That's the part, that's weird, but what's weird is, if you see those photos that you saw a long time ago from like the 1920s and the 1930s, you don't see anyone fat, you these people walking around and everyone looks slender I mean it's super rare. We see like a Jackie, Gleason type character, Sweden, two when we were in Sweden, even the pregnant women were skinny, because America has let these assholes put all kinds of fucked up shit that taste great, but it's hugely bad for you and they've put it all throughout our food, and they did it. When we were growing up, I mean come on man, we holy lucky charms. We all like Coco pops and fucking. I used to love captain crunch. That shit is straight sugar. I would eat a whole bowl of that. Like a giant bowl, you know they sell just the berries now as a serial.
Oh god, yeah. That's insane they're, not even going to pretend talk all that crunchy shit. Just marshmallows and milk, Trans fats, cakes, pies and cookies, especially with frosting too bad. Those like host is apple pies. Those awesome host is pies. Microwave popcorn in microwave popcorn is transfats. Frozen pizza, donuts, fried fast foods, cream filled candy crackers breakfast sandwiches Jesus.
Is my breakfast soon yeah. But what about like big macs I mean even clinic, not big macs, I mean what about like Mcgriddles 'cause, just 'cause. You said that I want one on the way home I have two days ago. Right now. Does it typically contain at least one gram of trans fats? Take a close look at the ingredients are likely to find partially hydrogenated oils in the top 5c. We used to think that that was good, partially hydrogenated soy oil is a partial, partially hydrogenated corn oil. Amazing, we used to think that that was good. People would prefer that you would think you would make in the healthy choice by choosing that mother fuckers. It says if refrigerated or frozen dough produces a texture. That seems too good to be true. It probably is God damn it yeah you gotta make fresh and that's probably what's in like Vegan ice cream and shit to make it all motional fuck yeah yeah
Ever they did to make vegan stuff good. They did it because towards the end, there I'm telling you the vegan stuff was pretty good, although when I was doing it like the taste of it was amazing. There's a lot of really good vegan chef out there that know what the they're doing yeah you know there a place called follow your heart. It's like this cool little place in the valley that you can go and get these vegan pancakes. The like vegan, buckwheat, pancakes god damn that good, because I have no idea. There's no eggs in there yeah or milk there's a place at the one on one and bar him same thing. Vegan pancakes at our banana blueberry is, and you can taste every real blueberry. It's one of those things yeah. They they make some pretty decent, like vegan sandwich meat type products you know, but the thing about that is the kind of process is totally I mean the slightest preservatives and that stuff it's just because something is vegan doesn't mean it's necessarily good for you Oreos vegan too, and I'm telling it it's very true because you know I was a vegan for five years and then my diet completely changed. I mean just stake every day for lunch at some point, whether it's in a sandwich and a bowl of far
well whatever it is. You know what I mean. What is the reason was the reason why you decided to make a shift. A lot of it was just like. I was just more gone to than I am now. I just couldn't keep up with my my schedule got busy and I just it wasn't that good at and it's impossible to do on the road. It's impossible and I did it. I was eating eight at the bare minimums, like french fries, and you end up out there. You got nothing. Even if you go french fries a lot of times. It's boiled beef yeah, no yeah. I know I mean it's all at once or boiled and be fat yeah it's like and it was just a nightmare, but I mean it was also at the time I had are really. You know: cool smart girlfriend who is vegan. It was cooking amazing, stuff uh can vegan enchiladas once a week that were just mind blowing and all this stuff. So it was sort of easy for me in at the time looking for anything to help and what was the day that you did it. Why did you do it
I know you had a lot of influence. We were going to a lot of great steak houses. It wasn't long after I started working with you and I'm just watching. You eat a steak, and then you know and I am I wasn't guy I buy energy levels of completely changed. I go to the gym every day. Now pretty much. You know six five six days a week and knock something out. It's I just wasn't like that before, but isn't it funny, but if, if I brought this up to you while you're vi- and you would just be raving about how much energy you have and how healthy you are like that's one thing that people always do no matter what they're doing I mean I'm guilty of it myself when doing something you want, to promote whatever that thing. Is you want other people to do it? So you start ranting and raving about how great it is, and it was for a while, because I thought that it was that, but it also probably had a lot to do with the timing of everything was started, making money for the first time in comedy around that very same time, when I started dating that vegan girl, that was the beginning of the five years of that like it was like
when I started getting to do the road a lot with like Jeff Ross back then- and I started writing on the roast back then, and I had a little bit of money and things were going good, so I think that played a lot in the my like energy and just feeling. Good overall was you know, being able to survive? Was the first place? Did you go to four with a shower something, as you did, yeah yeah, you guys all went so you were there. You saw its first yeah. I I think I buy your me. I was happy was like a holiday for me because I it is awful. Having like your friend and special being on the road and but you just wanted to go to an awesome, restaurant and then I don't know, but these options that we have here. I was never that way. I know no. I was never that way. You would always make a thing about it before I do. Are you able to eat here like, and I never had a problem, but it's all good.
The point is: is that that first day, even after Fogata Chow remember, I was like a fucking pit bull after that, like that now you called me up screaming yeah that night I would beat now I'm a different person. It's like what the fuck happened to Tony it was I've, never done like real steroids, but I'd imagined, that's exactly. I felt like a fucking animal. You still, you haven't had Elk yet now I've, never! Oh my god, when we set up I'm getting a new grill, I'm getting a New Yoder Grill and don't put my old one at the studio, one of set up at the studio 'cause. You know, I have freezers back there, I'm grill some steaks. Great at the studio God I eat it, I mean you're, you're gonna feel you gonna feel another bomb above where you're at now, like I used to watch TED Nugent items, of course, is crazy, get all his energy, because he, is crazy as shit right and he's yelling and screaming, and then he's like he's like seventy something years old. I don't like how
how do you have so much God, damn energy and then I saw? Is he had this interview once where he's cooking this steak, this deer steak is years ago is probably one of the things is before ever hunt it. One of the things that put into my head the idea hunting and he was cutting, not this piece of meat and showing like how red and dark it wasn't talking about how many nutrients there was in it and how much more nutritious and healthy it is than store, bought meat. They have hormones in it and antibiotics, and all this jazz and remember, get mother, probably right, and then the this time. A dear me from an animal that I shot and I was sitting there eating. I was like God, damn it. I feel it as you can see it's like a wide extra charge to it. Why do you think that is to you know really healthy animals? Yeah? If you, if you hit a deer, you're reading a wild sprinter, I mean it's. A wild sprinting machine is trying to get away from eating machines, eating machines that will literally want to tear it apart. Like that's it's life, it's like what was that noise. If you're
a deer in the wild it just constant like, was going over here, they bounce every now, and then they scare each other, and then they have to fucking chill and come back. Is there a restaurant, at least in LOS Angeles, that steer like even that place in Kalabasa's, like that? You can get some places that serve it, but here's what's ironic most the stuff that they serve comes from New Zealand, most the venison that you buy comes from New Zealand and New Zealand, New Zealand, a trip men, because New Zealand is this gorgeous island. I want to visit New Zealand just to look around because also because it's work where they film the Hobbit and just like you, Look at scenes those landscapes when landscapes, when they you, when you watch the hobbit, you go my god. Where is this like, but it's real in New Zealand, my,
my friend Remy is a hunting guide. Remi Warren he's been on the podcast before and he goes to New Zealand once a year and guides people over New Zealand. He sent me some pictures of what it looks like there, so I don't even want to go there to hunt. I want to go there just as a vacation just to see what it's like. Is it supposed to be just stunning to look at waterfalls and everything is green and lush, but here's what the fuck shut up about it, didn't have any animals on it. He's people from England came over to New Zealand and put all these animals there. So there very little local wildlife and the local wildlife they had was so fucked up. They wind up killing off a bunch of am DS to eagle. There is called a dance called the has eagle that had a fourteen foot wingspan and they think it. Wanted people. I think it's one of the reasons why they exterminated that thing. Yes, oh my. What in the fuck? How cool is that double check? My math, I'm pretty sure it's fourteen feet, long but
It's way bigger than the biggest eagle we have today way. Bigger was the biggest eagle ever and there was a lot of speculation that preyed on humans. New Zealand has no predators, so New Zealand has like all these. Hulk in deer and everyone, a lot of them are like fenced in and then they slaughter them and send them eat back to America. But they send it all over the world. But Haas Eagle, H A s, a h, a S eagle, citizen, extinct, Eagle from New Zealand. I think it only lived on New Zealand. As far as we know, two to three meters- that's about three meters at sign- that's nine freedom for sure that was fourteen feet. I think find something else. 'cause I swear to God. Something said that it was bigger than that. You know what we did this on the podcast before we went over this on the podcast. There was an episode where I said I thought it was bigger than that and then we found out other play This did say it was bigger than that. Now I remember see if you can find one that Chorab
That's my bag memory. What should we do with this thing? Dude I'm, albeit Penzeys, don't want to. So if you don't have predators like they don't have bears or wolves have nothing, they have nothing this god damn things are everywhere and they, need a slaughter and they get so bad that sometimes they have to shoot him out of helicopters I think it over populate areas. So they fly over these areas and gun down these stacks of helicopters and leave him to rot. What is pan bears eat dailies. That's weird right! vegetarians, right, yeah, pretty much to do a lot of raping, though panda, apparently the rape, the fuck out of each other pandas, koalas koalas of the eucalyptus. We are too because we thought, but so anyway, New Zealand is so wild game meat that you get if you go to a restaurant and you have like Elk you buy Elk today
most likely you're getting it from New Zealand. What was that one meat that you gave me one time it was cooked? It was like the best meet I've ever had in my life, that was wild boar or there was smoke bowl, my god that was, I remember, thinking, there's nothing I've ever tasted. That was, that good yeah. Well, it taste different than anything. I cooked it. For my kids the other day and my wife was saying what we're eating it sure did you hear that like this, is not taste like any other kind of me, 'cause, you're eating a wild animal is struggling and survive in acorns and shit like dark pig times two. It was like, like like a format based, Dark meet once a latin restaurants? Did you got if you got a killam, you gotta go out, you have to go out and hunt them and kill him. There should be a like, but there's weird laws about that. This weird laws, this country about wild game and it's good- is a good pause, because the reason why they, that was his losses, because in the 1800s we had almost no animals left because of market hunting. What mark
hunting is is, after the civil war it actually even before that You know they didn't have refrigerators man, and so, if you wanted me, you had to get it pretty fresh it it kinda be killed like within the last couple of days, and so what they would do. Is they would go to these soldiers who had come back from the war and really didn't have anything to do, and these guys would get hired by these meat companies and they would just go out and shoot Buffalo and Elk and deer and certain point time they had almost eradicated all of the wild game. Animals in this country that you know today like wild. Here. There was almost no dear left in there. 1800S and early 1900s of the turn of the century,
would be super lucky if you saw a deer, if you went deer hunting would be super lucky. If you saw a deer and they wouldn't be a big deer. Everybody just want everybody just went buck wild on him. I knew it was coming and prepared himself. There should be a subscription box service that, let's you order, hunting meet no no you're getting wrong. I just explained you can't sell it because of that market hunting wiped out all those animals 'cause, they sold them, so they made laws established laws that say you cannot sell while game. So if you go to public land and there's a good percentage of the hunting, that's done in the United States at least is done on public land and what that means is Freddie. Roosevelt, or a theater roosevelt in his wisdom, realize that we have all this incredible land in the United States, whose Freddy's
brother, Freddy Roosevelt, do you think it is Terry yeah? I know yeah, but I would say that, as I said, Freddie Roosevelt Franklin, but I was thinking of and Teddy yeah, the theater, Roosevelt but was it Franklin rose. Who did established there two different Roosevelt's Teddy and is the same right? same teddy about Freddie Franklin, Franklin, Franklin, Delano, Roosevelt, a different person yeah. Yes, when was he president. Theodore, Roosevelt, the guy who set it all up anyway, Theodore Roosevelt set up conserve and for, like I'm good dude, one thousand nine hundred and thirty three to forty five, which one is that Franklin Franklin Teddy Roosevelt, the original, That's why they called the Teddy Bear that Teddy Bear. He established things like Yellowstone when you go to Yellowstone, that's all because of those guys like in the people in in his era. They
looked at all this amazing land and they realize like we can't let this go away like this is really important. Like we gotta keep this public, we gotta keep We gotta figure out a way where everyone can go and enjoy this and not have someone just put a fence around it and make it impossible for people to traverse. So they set up all these public lands in this country that it's really rare, you don't have these giant chunks of land and no one can buy or sell in this country we do. It's really really rare in other countries. What are some of the other animals that taste good, that we don't ever get to eat for or an and or are prime Book is probably the best meat you'll ever have in your life. It is it taste so much better than beef. It's just just a pure meat. It's pure and you're eating an animal to see what it's supposed to eat too. It's a healthy animal, it's in the prime of its life, so you can really only get it if you hunt it you only or if you have a friend, that's a hunter. The only way, the only wow, the only one so weird
it is weird it's weird, because that's what we should be eating, it's so on American to not be able to buy something. You know you can't, because we would wipe it out right. It's smart. We would wipe it out, but if you have farm raised it won't be wild anymore than not only that when they do that, and they have done that they do raise wild ones and they put him in these pens and they put fences around. The problem is deer not supposed to be eating all of the same spot and when they do, develop diseases, and they don't have immune systems for them, so they developed something called chronic wasting disease. So it was a giant issue in a lot of parts of the Midwest where they took these animals, and this is just speculation that don't exactly know what caused it. Chronic wasting disease. But it didn't exist before these farm systems, where they to grow these deer in these pens, and so these put these High fence operations up these giant chain link fences to deer, can't get out there all stuck in there and they would feed and when you see these, the deer eating each other saliva and they would develop all these diseases they never develop before because they were grass eaters they're supposed to
get out there eating wild vegetation. That's it mostly eating sage and grass is and all the different things that you see like you know when you see a buffalo roaming in a field. That's what they're supposed to be eating man, but we in our wisdom have realized we get these fuckers fatter. If we just stick 'em in this thing and make him eat corn, and so that's what fucked our food in this country. It's it's the same thing that fucked up the production of processed foods with all the sugar, it's the same God, damn wisdom. I don't think we're far away, though, for having like cloning food being able to like hey, we can make food nowadays. I can do it now, it's really sensitive, they can do it yeah. Do you think, though, it's not far away that where you could actually buy a? Certainly you go to the grocery store. This is fake food, but you can buy. Like boron all the game. They probably won't taste the same for the same reason why a cow doesn't taste the same if it eats grass like, if you have a cow grass, it becomes this different animal. If you
of a cow corn, it becomes this fatty, lighter, colored, animal. A lot of people think is more delicious. A lot of people like that better, they, like corn, fed better, include Tony Bordain, he likes the corn FED beef. You know it really does it. Is I really like a fatty steak, but he's, also a chef? You know he knows how to cook it perfectly and how to manipulate that fat, and you know marble at purple your cook, it perfectly runner the marbling all that's going to hang out with him huh yeah couple times one hunting with him. Does he love his life as much as I think he should it is the best job in the world. According to him, now we saw what you got the world. You guys have any job in the world off with each other and our names like to write. Well, wouldn't you like to have the only people that I know that really really like seems like you guys should I know I mean I know you do. I don't know him, but I will I've always hoped like man. I hope the funk and knows what he's doing is everybody. His dream job for sure he knows, and I know too. I definitely know that I have dream jobs, but
My dream job is different than his dream job. We just both have dream job that you guys found your own dream. Jobs is what I'm saying, oh for sure, yeah like his dream job. Absolutely one hundred percent is doing what he does. He fucking loves it man, you know he's also like super into Jujitsu now, which is really weird so everywhere. He goes he's born in Jujitsu that I ever was he trains every day, every fucking, what is lady lady, but they got divorced, but he still but there are super good friends they just lived separate like he's on the road all the time, but they a kid together and they were really close and they raise the kids together, and so it's not a bad situation at all he's a great guy. It's a very, very, very smart guy and very real guy. You know is very in he just found something in Jujitsu and just pursued it and he's getting a reward out of any chases. Down he's like he,
these places manage just suck in this world up? You know yeah well he's in Jamaica or China, or anywhere he's going he's just suck in these places up he's just pulling them in writing about them and talking about them and experiencing them, and you get that from the show. Yeah fucking, powerful, showman it really fucking is because he's somehow able to really tap into that cult. As fast as possible. Again, whoever those producers are that are doing like you know, there's whole thing that has to go into that. It's not like Anthony's calling places in Cuba. You know what I mean, so whoever is producing that doing that research and he makes Every little bite look unbelievable likes companies called zero dot, zero and they're the same company that produces meet either the same show or uh same production company that produces those two amazing shows. So they know what the fuck they're doing they make great stuff. It's amazing yeah.
And again for him, that's his dream job me I'd be like yeah, I mean the fuck all right, my home, I don't like traveling that much I mean I travel Pawlenty Ann, I'm home for a lot lately, I'm home more now than ever before, and I like it a lot better and I'm not working less, I'm working just as much. We get a lot of shit done, but all that we're travel and all that stuff that that is bullshit you're working, smarter yeah. But I just realized like there's a way to do this and another thing that helped fucking tremendously is coming back to the store, because I'm not shit all the time. I did four sets here. The other night on last Thursday did four sets and I'm like do four sets on a Thursday night at the same God, Damn club, I don't need to go anywhere like I do, Eventually I mean I do like to do the road I do like to but even the road like when I'm doing the road I'm doing less theaters than ever 'cause, I'm like I have more fun at clubs like I like three hundred people. That's why I love you get more work done by doing more sets exactly you get more
work done by doing more sets, but also the experience you're not going to get as much money with experience is a different experience to better experience, fun, it's more stand up, you're connected to those people, whereas those, theaters, a lot of it is really fun. You know, like new years, is a fucking blast right, but a lot of it is a show show big lighting change our sins of people there. You know a lot of it you're paying for that that pop that happens, when the lighting change happens in the show's about to start. You know what I mean: well, you just paying for all that energy, because you don't get that you get always a cheesy thing, usually at a comedy club coming up next week at the channel. Had you know what I mean almost every decent parking validation of available. They always have weird announcements is struggle. Have by the way, must be something right because that's like the fun of everyone's jokes say everybody says uncle fuckers, chuckle hut right, that's what everybody says now: I've just always chucklehead
like what I picture like the worst comedy club. This sound, like you, Lillian WU, yeah man. Those things are so important, though, that without those, clubs. I've had this conversation with club owners before to give my thanks 'cause, I I think, there's a lot there's a combative relationship that happens between a lot of comics and club owners. You know they're trying to fuck us 'cause. Everybody has a story right every he has a story where club owner fucked you over or something happened. Everybody has a story, and so in the beginning, it's hard to get booked. So you developed a sort of contentious relationship with them in the first place. 'cause they don't want to use you 'cause you're, not really it could. Then things start going for you and then you start selling tickets and then you think not giving you enough. 'cause you sell too many tickets. Then, eventually you realize somewhere along the line, I think hopeful. Eventually. I did at least that the fucking need those people like, mount them. There's no art form like do. We need a place to practice. This isn't like music. This isn't like writing like we have to
so in front of those fucking people were not going to do it ourselves. You know we're just especially the funny ones. You think Louise. He is going to open up a conical, comedy club. Anyone who bill Burr Bill Bergen open up a fucking laugh factory. No, are you going to open up economy club? No? No! No! No one is so. You need those fucking people yeah, it's great z because, like you know, without It may also amazing how each club has their own different, vibe and totally different dna. There's, no, I mean other than the improv Switch or the props and it's like it, figured out a way to do it. Yeah. I figured out a way to make them all feel the same, and I don't think that I don't like that. Ok, I enjoyed my time in the southern California improves when I perform there. But like
here's the thing, though, it's not bad, it's not a bad feeling like if you go to do the Tempe Improv, even though it feels like all the improv is a fucking great clubs, same thing with all of 'em. They figured out how to do it right because you go to every place. It's almost all the same experience, it's a good experience and then it just they leave it up to the stand up, so they have everything down in between, but it feels very different and say if you go to zanies in Nashville Exact, it's a club, that's been in that form for thirty years or something like that. It's an amazing spot, this ain't. Head shots in the world on the wall, where half the people are dead, you know love that that's a different vibe right or the ice house, that's a totally different vibe! That's a non corporate vibe that like a holy shit. Look at this gym. You know of that place in God's about zanies in Chicago, oh Portland, Helium Denver Comedy works all those places. Helium in Philly yeah yeah. All those clubs are like these, almost like a mom and pop organization. If you had to look at it that way, 'cause there
small business. It's a small business that caters to live comedy without it. We're fucked look what happened Houston. The last stop in river oaks, close down in Houston and so do the scene. I mean, I know, there's some guys out there and I don't want them to feel bad that I'm shiting on I'm not shiting on used to know. There's a lot of great comics came out of there. You know a lot of our friends came out of there Mattie Kirsch, but What happened? Was they had this powerful fucking seen? It was like everybody thought about you thought about LA he thought about New York. You thought about Boston and San Francisco and you thought about fucking, Houston, that was a real scene, man. They Kennison and Hicks, and it was like they had a whole thing going on and we came along. I came along and I started working there in the late 90s and it was still Echoing was like that Hicks was dead, Tennyson was dead, but there was this bomb just little. The last reverberations of the echoes of that crew.
Jimmy Pineapple and all these guys. That came through with him and the outlaws of comedy that these to call themselves, and they were like looking for the next ones with their in Austin scene. Back then. Yes, there was always a scene and very smart, seen Austin's always been thought of as like a smart place. You know like It is because the universities there and it's like a real liberal town of smart towns, the velveeta room- came along. I don't know when they when they start out tell you what, though, Houston's got a new up and coming that that new club that opened up the secret group yeah when they open up just this year, we actually yeah yeah. It was amazing, they did an entire festival in like it's, this multi room to like super warehouse and they have an outdoor parking lot and they put a huge outdoor ten. So we
doing like kill Tony in one room, while Joe, we did. You know, sold out big warehouse like a rave version of hell, Tony and outside in this big open field under huge tent show we d as just arose. I mean this place, has so many rooms, and I I I I do believe in the comics I got together and body yeah. They have a club to call the speaker group any that's perfect, with a bomb huge green room in the middle like off the you know, but everybody's going to do did they use a different, shows different rooms. That sort of proves my point: you need a club yeah because the the the Houston scene, they open up an improv there, but you know within probs the same thing we're talking about it's a corporate environment. It's a totally different thing: you're, not gonna bunch people hanging around, they probably don't, have an open MIKE night. If they do it's, probably not that big of a deal it's hard to get work like one of the things about the really good places you can actually start out there and then work you know like a comedy works like Wendy, has a whole system. You start out there as a open mic. Are you develop your
back, then they let you MC on, shows they teach you how to bring people up. They teach you how to middle. Then you learn how to headline and then I'll send you on the road, but you could actually become a comic and you can get paid there. She is like local headliners that started out in her club that will come down there and do a we can sell tickets like people know who they are. People in the town, she's a beast. Yeah man you need a club and need a club need club owners. You know looking at this place, yeah Greatest of all time. I'm going to paint this room black 'cause going to do more of these going to paint these room black and I'm going to put blue leds behind the comedy store like like a man seconds, low rider. You know how they have those things and it up. I tell you what that you know Hugh. I think it's filled Hughes. I you can get a lot of light bulbs and control it with absence right all the different colors, the the new light light strip, Pro twos, which are so bright, but it can change any color. You want, you just sit there and go like I want to purple behind the comedy store right now. Interesting, it's great check it out. I think it should be blue low for whatever
yeah make it anything you want leave it blue, I'm just talking about it and if you have a black wall with the Red behind got that might be it. That's the move right this delight, but the line we're going to end the podcast. That's like the red line, like oh, my god. The light is on the end times are rap it up. We found it, that's it that's. What we're going to do? Ok, so will put a red Eli D, light behind it, going to paint this whole room black and we got together The interrogation lighting. This is telling me the codes. Is just first forty eight! This is that room where people fuck up don't talk even when they're guilty and might keep your mouth shut. Why do I apologize? Go, walk in and put a cigarette out of my forehead right whenever I watch those videos, you always tell the damn truth: son. I was
watch those videos. I hope those guys lie. I hope they do a good job. I might come out. You can get out of this. Just when you get out of it. You know I did. I tell you this, that I've been watching those videos lately real interrogation, videos, it's interesting as fuck to me. Yes, either they break or they'd don't break in. Yeah, very rare, they don't break, but when they don't break, you have to be really worried, but it's all those are fucking sociopath! That's exactly! The interesting thing is like when they don't break your even more amazed like oh you, evil motherfucker, just able to stay so calm. You But some of these are my favorite. Is when they admit to a little bit of a lie, and then they have to correct their story and then you see him like four hours later and they just beat these dudes down. They keep talking to hour after hour to arrow, which should be by the way totally illegal, because you leave me in a room for open six hours. If I think that I'm going to get to a bed in six hours, I'll start confessing to shit like that's what people do like yeah, ok
in stabbed him. Can I go to sleep now like pee, my plane yesterday got stuck on the tarmac in San Francisco was a delta yeah, but is it had nothing to do with all day it was like there was a ground stoppage for the first time in a very long time at LA acts, which means any flights that are about to leave from anywhere automatically delayed until further notice, because they, because of whether they were full ground stoppage and about the interrogation thing, I'm on the tarmac the delay it's four hours. I was literally fighting back tears. I was breaking as a human yeah you're crying about the rain you wraps is crying about the rain. During killed. Tony we've got a massive drought. People are dying, there's no water filled. Babies die nobody's dying from this drought. You know how many people died just yesterday from hurricanes eighteen tornadoes yeah, maybe tornadoes maybe tornadoes, and on one of those yeah
Atlanta got to what yeah. Turkey is a no the it's coming to you get up by hurricane yeah, either you're really poor or you really stupid, yeah right. But if you get up by a tornado, you just got locked. They said that eighteen people died in Atlanta or whatever that was, but I looked it up in like twelve of them or ten. Sixteen something that was a very high number of the people were all at one trailer park. The basically just got like squished wow I thought that was crazy. It was like whatever and just trying to guess here, but out of the eighteen people that died in ITALY in a twelve of them is my final answer on the guess all from the same trailer park and something like what the fuck head. Happen in this trailer park. I didn't really get to figure it out. They didn't have much detail. We spend some towns. I think I want to say Jasper Missouri. Maybe that's one of those towns there was literally wiped off the map by tornadoes. Like tornadoes came in like a gigantic eraser racer you
talking about like hundreds of yards wide and just destroyed everything just clean the entire top off killed everyone that was there and just through the building through the air. There was nothing left annihilating the whole town, there's four and after photo might not be Jasper outfit with the name of the town in Oklahoma, Kansas City. That's why it sounds about right. It's all in that same area, there's definition Missouri, though we saying Jasper, Missouri, I don't know I'm going to be right, Jasper wherever the fuck. It was that this happened. Whatever this town was I had no idea, I thought they would come down and just fuck up a few houses. I never knew they occasionally killed. The whole town.
Twister was on at the hotel the other day. I remember that movie, stupid no was fucking. Cool man does not hold it. It was pretty entertaining, though. How are you very high I'll tell you this? There was one part which I notice in which I'm like go fuck yourself. There was there remember the part where Helen Hunt gets out when all the balls drop out of the machine she's like no go ahead. I'm gonna put the ball. Sack in the chicken really liken out five tornado right next to this student, embarrassing help. There are parts in old movies that just wreck it all. Now that one scene is so unbelievable now for some reason that it ruins the whole entire movie yeah. No, it wasn't jasper yeah, it was Llama yeah was in F category five hurricane. Those fives are the ones catastrophic damage. Yeah. I was so obsessed with and afraid I was deathly afraid of tornadoes. When I was a kid, there was a whole period for a fee. Okay, it's Joplin Joplin MO
right. That's why I fucked up, but look that's the town whoa, not you ask for Joplin. If you look at it there There is nothing. It is Anaya Lated, it's fucking crazy, and that is an F5 that was as high as it gets yeah. I think that is how is it yeah I find so on two dot. Two billion dollars in damage holy shed two point: two billion dollars in damage. That is insane. Do you see that house for sale in LOS Angeles is like the most expensive house in ever is that the one in Bel air? That's like five hundred million bucks and it comes with a helicopter and a car classic car collector know big covered that it does. I promise you really know you make me could tell you. It comes with a helicopter warehouse, though look at this time mouse based like as it's got all the things that are a house, but it's not made for people to live in. It's like. Party place? So it's for someone who didn't want to live here
become for one weekend. I mean how many bathrooms does it have as like twenty six bathrooms and went through the Johnson bring the bitches Oh, my god. Is it weird that a car survive, but not the whole town? For those of you that can't see the image of Joplin, it looks like the inside of old pencil sharpeners yeah, I mean it's like just saying. This house comes with a thirty million dollars card two thirty million dollar car club house, so the bug and said that, what's that number for it, doesn't make any sense. They're saying like how much for a week and it also comes with seven full time staffers to help tend to two Matthew own them. You own them. I own this stuff. I can fuck yes or no. I can this stuff I wanna fuck, stop get me a stuff. I can fuck yeah. There's definitely gotta have some hookers over when you hear. What's the air BB on this place for the night alot too much
for you, haha stop complete all the pussy. You want Tony's at the rest of his money on one night, one night at the AIR B MB. What is that? Because these dudes out there that are balling so hard. We don't know about it. You know, there's some royal family members that are worth trillions of dollars. Did you join that when here by like the richest man in the world, wow wow. What's it like to have ninety billion, that's not the richest man in the world. It's not the richest man in the world is the guy that you don't even know those oil dudes like those dudes in Saudi Arabia and the Middle EAST that you know all the darks. These they have monarchies? They have these fucking gigantic piles of wealth that you can't even rap your brain around trillions trillions, thousands of billions. Really. You know this. I know this. Yes, thousands of billions.
Do you know started the Sultan of Dubai, the Brunei rather now soul, number nine. He would bring in gals and pay them like fifty thousand dollars a month just come on down and they would go for a few months make quarter. One million dollars then fly home and to get all this jewelry and diamonds and shit, and one little hooker ruin the whole party by shoes, the car, with the laptops writing stories about it. She wanted to write a book about experience, so this dude is what he would do had a disco in his house and one as many houses, and he would have it filled with all these girls are making. Who knows how much money 10s of thousands of dollars and he would come out in his gold underwear and just in slippers and slide across the room like he was in that scene, with Tom Cruise was that movie risky, This way, slides in our need slide in like that as gold underwear and just go Eenie Meenie, Miney, MOE and just pick one out has four.
Though she had heard of 'em and then the next day do the same thing and you do whatever he wants and that Chick RD, the story on it? One of them did wow and he was like but there's a cop. Is that had known? That's really him like Pat Reagan. Stick Eenie, Meenie, Miney MOE disguise that guys totally covered in gold. Look at him that guy is worth more money than you can. I can I be one of these girls go away for fifty thousand I'm doing a gig and to buy guys for whole month. You just want to be the court jester go over there and crack some jokes man, it's fucking crazy. You think he wears a condom. No, no condom right, shut up yeah. We do that yeah, exactly he's just shooting loads in these gals. But then again he's opening himself up for possible. Does I wonder if they have visible what I bet he gets them tested? He put some in catapults and shoot him in the air. What is that giant throne
one of them look at his throne? Oh my god. That's insane looking at sit there and he's covered. This thing that looks like something that belongs inside the pyramids looks like a sunglass hut in Glendale. Everything is gold. Do you understand that that's real gold, like everything, is gold plated everything, real gold plated everything everywhere. You look gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. That's this car gold get the cookies. The card is, but you can take your birthday. I did say and that's all from oil money yeah, they have a different kind of money. Man, it's a different level of money, see we have this idea that, like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett Shit, the fuck outta here this guys are broke their broken comparison to this dude. You know, Donald Trump's worth four billion dollars that fucking guy is laughing. If gave him only four billion dollars. He would start crying. If we found out. All he has left is four billion dollars. What what
you fall to his knees? Who think? How is God cursed me? with only four billion dollars his plane? Has that us a virtual floor, so you can see what you're flying, Of course it does. Of course it does have Stagg bowl in wow blown out of control like our ideas of what all right had a strophic wealth. We we we are so sheltered from the true catastrophic wealth, because what if we were really exposed to it, we really understood it, and then we understood where it came from. We understand what the is going on in the world and how bizarre the system of government we have that that supports this and and allows this kind of to happen. Let me ask you a question. Please do you're hanging out one day, all of a sudden, your phone rings break you're sitting there cutting up some malcomson jalapenos and near slicing up some avocado late night. The phone rings and all of a sudden you, hello Joe. It is me the Sultan. I What do you talk about the podcasts and I will invite you over to Saudi
maybe I'll send the first of all. How many ferraris do you have really 'cause? I heard you have a hundred and fifty ferraris How many Ferraris is, I might he might get mad at me for saying only one hundred and fifty probably might be one thousand Ferraris like for real he's got one of the most ridiculous car collections. The world is ever known. Would you go visit him if he sent the plane for you and she's like I want to fly you over a week reported over three hundred Ferraris. Three hundred Ferrari come out, will drive, my Ferrari will do a podcast even outside, and then she would love to. But I got a podcast with bill. Burr can't okay. Well, not how many three hundred frozen he's got over five thousand cars in my three is a reported over three hundred.
I saw them about three hundred new ones. Jay Leno, just kill yourself. If you listen closely, Jay Leno's place is a and riot yeah. You've never been it'll. Give you get a chance some day, and you know like one day you get to be on Jay Leno's garage. If you get a sick car get custom car, something like that, take it just to go there or next time I go come with me, Maine right in your neighborhood map, Burbank Airport, it's the craziest thing. I've ever seen in my life. He has eleven buildings, warehouses filled with cars. Again It was like a warehouse about like Jay Leno's got this cool collection, so warehouse filled with cars. No, it's eleven warehouses and he can just jump in one and start it and you're driving it. Everyone works, they have mechanics, is mechanics everywhere. They take care of everything The whole thing is every every car is functional and he drives all time, including like these one thousand nine hundred and three tractors. He put these things
they have metal wheels it in there have tires so he had rubber put on the outside of the metal. So you could drive them on a street and got him. Just turn their death traps. There's no way stop! There's! No! You can take a corner, I mean. Is it the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen? Well, but he drives it. He tries all his cars around Burbank all the time you always seem like in a fire truck or make a lolly pop. It's got to be crazy for him, seeing Seinfeld doing comedians in cars getting coffee, and is there really missed an opportunity on that one? It's like you know, he's doing that like what he's doing what he, what he's doing better? Yes, this is his was. I wanted it's better, but his show is really about. The car where is Seinfeld is like the car is just like a set with a comic. You know we Ricky get your base. Can pretend that he's laughing hysterically right this? It's it's a prop. You know I mean and we're as with Jay Leno like I'm, not my corvette on Jay Leno show a dude that guy fucking love.
These cars, I mean he's going over every little insure. The car we're talking about this, we're talking about that. You see this collected his eyes, he's talking about suspensions and tires and wheels, and you know what what kind of power steering you running and what? What? What do you do it for the Interior, with both the bolsters the seats of the stock? These are. These are custom where these coming from he does it with the free karma? He fucking loves cars, so for him, it's not even about being funny, he doesn't give. A shit of a whole show goes by way. Doesn't crack a single Joe Hill? Just talk about now, I've seen him host the tonight Show son of a bitch you son, of a bitch that was always more of a Letterman guy. He's way better doing this than anything he's ever done, that's great, and he and I had a conversation about it. You know- and he was really honest about it. He talked about it on my podcast too he's you know I used to have these people on and I didn't give a fuck about what they were doing. I didn't know the band you know it's like I'm fifty seven years old- and I know this band- I know this band- is I gotta
care, but it does the job. The job was to be friendly. How these people at eagles? Now I wasn't talking about what I love these are these cars are that he loves cars men you bring check on a car and let's see if it's especially like a hot rod or something like that, he just gets. This spa park in his eye man. He just walks around them. He just has the d almost as much as he has a love for comedy. I don't know if there, the same level, but it's like right about it might might love cars more. He really did you might love cars more. Do you think you should die his hair black fuck dude he's wearing jeans shirts, one hundred million dollars a year fuck? he's got like eleven cars that are worth more than one million dollars. Man they're all over the place is fucking garages, it's crazy, old, lamborghinis and shit. These old Ferraris, you looked at me like why he's, got a car with a jet engine wow and is
true like what about the idea here is that he doesn't doesn't spend his tonight. Show money Ackley song from stand up doing corporate gigs. Oh my god, it's all corporate! You got to think a guy like that guy, the fucking coast the tonight show, if you do a corporate guy You can make a ton of money, I don't think people understand he's probably making hundreds of thousands of dollars a gig there flying him out there in a private jet. He does. The guy comes back, it doesn't tonight show so he would leave the tonight show the tonight show tapes during the daytime he'd be done. He'd fly somewhere on his private jet. Do some ridiculous corp? big make hundreds of thousands of dollars and fly right back and then do it again and do it again and do it and he's making millions of dollars a month doing that balling shade Leno's black man open my podcasts. He swore he was
I'm crazy stories about when he worked with the mafia and mafia people were threatening guys like these mobsters totally over hang out with the Sultan. I don't think so. You never know put the slippers on the golden underwear. I want to figure out how to make friends with this guy right around in a gold car. You think you do. You don't want to be friends with somebody that that powerful, because if you fuck up or you do something wrong, then you have somebody that powerful. That's your enemy yeah! I I I I there's this guy named MIKE here are for whatever his name is that owns this? Whatever this church thing- and I got scared, why would you say is the name before any other distribution of the banjo Rogan before remember? We used to do a show with him. Remember really rich guy that had that, but it scary, because after a while, you don't want somebody, that's is going to troll you for life, that is, that pow
or foreign rich, and that's what it felt like with this guy, like I get on his side, where I become like a Bob Bui or some kind of Howard, stern guy, and he could just like fuck with me for the rest of my life kind of like what they're doing upstairs at the Ding Dong share right now with Perry they were saying that Don's dead right now and their fucking. He is dead, though, what barriers is fucking with he doesn't know internet listening to the live stream right now. Well, listen! Dude! You wouldn't be that guy! You not that fucked up you know what I mean, though I don't necessarily know what you mean, but I do know what you mean. I just don't think you're describing it in the best way, but yeah, I don't make a enemy out of a crazy, rich dude like a super powerful guide. There almost scary even know. I wonder what else is sultants do for fun, though you know what I mean like we get it once I love to know what that is. Like I get the like. I mean I'm just saying if he fucks on that level of Eenie Meenie, Miney Fucking MOE then
What else is he doing for fun on that level that we can't imagine because that's how he fucks? So how does he eat? You know? I mean I imagine what he must walk into well. You know if his palace, if everything really is gold, like that his his meals must be fucking, must be wild and come. The chair is. I bet I bet he's got bore an Elks just stacked to the ceiling. I want Did you eat okay, who no longer answers? What any anything they want? You know I get it's about it's one of those things where He probably has food shipped in every day, so he gets to choose what he wants and it's always fresh and they get rid of what he doesn't eat. I bet it's. Those deals 'cause. I bet when you have that kind of money. You probably want to have like a full menu where you get. Pick from whatever you want, even if it was just you eating alone, he's probably
those guys. So they have to fly in fish and lobster and meat and vegan, it's probably like right now would you say is vegan. I don't know he just seems like he would be vegan. Why would you say a guy who fucks all those girls and lives in a world powers would be vegan, maybe like all or nothing like virtual 'cause? You can afford it most. People can't afford healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyle. Anyway, it's expensive to be vegan. They keep this guy pretty low key though huh bum Well, he keeps himself Loki particularly now after that whole thing that girl writing those that article or the book or what fuck. She was trying to write after drama don. They have a three day. I don't know if he would have called a festival or something, but they allow. It says. The thirty thousand locals and visitors arrive each day to banquet the Royal Families Pallas wow thirty sounds fees for the locals, I suppose after Ramadan so he's muslim. So he probably it's things that are hello, so he,
he probably it's a lot of meeting. Whenever the fuck you want there, of restrictions, so I don't think he's allowed to eat pork. So it's probably bore they came up with all that stuff to back when people are getting diseases, man pigs eat whatever the fuck. They want to eat everything, including each other, so they probably came up with that. Like those religious rules about pork in particular. That's almost definitely related to disease and illness and doesn't make sense, Jews and Muslims all have that in their in their religion that you're not supposed to be eating pork. What do you think about this like Trump taking the the This government to Israel, have you heard about that
when other kind, when you we have like bases in other countries, double bass in Israel's, I would yeah and that's something that presidents have been scared to do for a long time he's at Palestine Spurt like past the true jamming I've already said in this thread, so that the set at the end of at the end of the feast. Everyone gets a cake, but he also inserted a clause in the the tuition that proclaims quote. He can do no wrong in either his personal or any official capacity the in constitution. I am a cake man. What the fuck do you want? He can do no wrong wow, so you can do whatever he wants, so he has a clause in their constitution that he could do it every want. It was them coming. Trump's plan to move the US embassy to Juke tourism. Truth is limited and talk. How you talk to reduce the amount welcome to do so. Are you drunk say that again, okay, Brown now struggle with or
prism yeah? I mean that's just a weird word, though: Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Jerusalem. I can't even these to have some crazy ass words Mesopotamia yeah Jerusalem is a Jerusalem, That's where stop and think about that, like how 'bout chuckle Slovakia, why do you have to use so many noises for your view that in polling then not polish areas? So why why, welcome to Lithuania. In the what will? What will slow down why'd you name if your place, that is your spot, the noise I make for my spot. They mean think of what they think and we don't know what with you, Lithuania means but think of what they hear when we got the you. The United States of America alluded to like they're, probably like listen to these blueberry need be able. They need to talk to me and I'll. Just go America way from America Marie from Czechoslovakia. I mean your name sounds funny.
How come your name so long? How come y'all decided to put all those fucking sounds in your name: greedy, ass, sound user, so open up all the sound attributed to your patch of dirt huh. How big is this Czechoslovakia, but that's it a little tiny ass thing with that big old fucking name. Problem and a lot of room for a little, how big circles of aka the big spot- maybe that's! It is maybe they're trying to overcompensate for the sake of big spot. My talk shit. Now it's little, it seems like It would be a little yeah Jimmy dumbest name of a country that you know Nigeria. Why? Because it's just letting you know that name before they came up with that name, didn't exist: Kazak, Istan, alright,. Antarctica that's kind of a goofy woman, it sounds pretty 'cause, it's not a lot of disease in it. You know throw a lot of disease, you know.
Supposed to be from Kazakhstan, they get super mad at him. You know they sued him. The whole fucking today are so pissed. I bet that guy has to hide those. Sixteen people are so fucking pissed, because that boy character is Fugazi done. Could you imagine if there is like one guy who was doing this character of your tiny little country, and it is a fucking huge smash comedy hit this. Complete retard this representing your country and just fucking up everything. You know like remember when he did that movie and ask him where to go to the bathroom and it took a shit in a bag. They handed the lady, the bag, trying to whether I do it this and she It was that this this my shit, we're doing. This is new one year die, I heard the news like a scene in it. That's like really worth the whole.
Maybe which one is his new one, the one where he's like a tennis player or something like that, like there's a problem with those those are comedies. They're, not like what I like is this stuff. That's illegal, now so the stuff that he used to do that he kept getting sued for the best shit jackass was on the other night on the front porch after the roast battle and just watching jackass. I missed that there's something too so funny that seeing people getting fuck yup. It's you know one of the funniest things. This is undeniably funny. It's unbelievable yeah, it's, let's instinctual! It's like in your in your system, like there's. I remember I never got this one where they they
the had this big hand on a spring that would give guys high fives and it would come out of nowhere. Just fucking nail you and send you flying across the room and had bags of flour on it so like when it hits throughout the flight, hit you in the face and blow you up with flour, and it was fucking huge like it would knock people over there all amazing. I love Jack Ass, so fucking much an. I stumbled across jackass. Two dot five recently, which is basically all the foot, image, that they didn't get a chance to use, or that was too edgy or came out too extreme for their MTV show Wildboyz 'cause. It turns but they had to like, have it ready MTV? It was just different than the ship. They were really pulling at this level so anything in which the network heads were like. We can air that on MTV, two or whatever the FUCK Wildboyz was on there
turn it into this super movie of that was literally too good for MTV and that show while boys at the time. So what's it called and did they would see what it's a jackass two point five, and so these guys and remember the door while boys, which is more like you know, like they're, on the safaris in the desert, it's like with cheetah behind it, yeah they're playing keep away with hyenas with the ham, and some of them are fucking scary. That is no I mean I diners will kill you the huge like two hundred wild dogs, that crush bones of their teeth and they're playing keep with some wild anus with a ham standing right in front of them with no fence no protection. That is
hell. Areas is saying that the other thing about Jack as two point five is there's ones that were also like you could tell a couple of them were just so disgusting that they couldn't put it on MTV it like my favorite one and it just like. I was dying of laughter. I've been. I was howling like like an animal all of a sudden. You know they're sort of like explaining. Like you know, we didn't know what we had. We met this one guy. He was the world's longest fingernails. We don't know we were going to do with them and other cool thing about two point: five is it's sort of like more documentary style because they're like laughing about all that food, Asher India, his these crazy cool, yeah, yeah, yeah bird duper long fingernails and I like we did end up knowing what to do with this guy a so. You know Steve had this one idea, and then that was it, and
all of a sudden it cuts to this indian guy. You know you've seen him like they just giant long, fingernails like five feet, long or whatever, the fuck and all of a sudden. You just see an indian guys face and it slowly starts to pan out. You see his nails and he has a bottle of Miller Lite and he just goes hello. I am Baba. This is Miller Time and you see him just start to pour the beer. On the back of his hand, that's just hanging there. An attack of his hand that has the fingernails right and all the beer starts rolling down his fingernails and is the camera pans out. You just start to hear like
You just start to hear that noise and is it pans out. You see, Stephen was laying on his back on the ground, underneath all the Heller Beers were opened water slide. I was. I was reaming by myself in my apartment, watching this dying of laughter there. It is Jamie's got it. This is a time for you here, Stephen okay, for the camera, so funny. How long is this? What gagging and throwing out all? What's so much? He throws up it's about to get greater vomit in front of a it's, the worst Devos crazy him sober now, yeah he's a fun guy. I really like that. Guy a lot. You know who's, not server and the text the other day. Who would you date him Hell Lou? It was the most uncomfortable thing: I've they let Indian. If he was drinking. I don't know yeah why man I knew that was gonna happen, so Dave's beer he had called on the three times
three years. My last call it like I got like last call when I got a trade in no way impact and aggressive, listen man! That's why didn't have money again? I I just telling you like this is not going to have it's not gonna. Last night temp, this is temporary. The set up sobriety thing working on sobriety he's a slingshot and he he pulled that slingshot back and then he's eventually got to let it go, and I don't know why I don't know understand sobriety. I don't understand people that off the rails like he does where they get, that fucked up in that crazy, but he's got it whatever. That is. You worked with them all the way back, I can work within five years and lose Razee. Always that way, always that way party machine. A lot of it is. I really honestly believe this, and maybe Andy would probably agree with me. I think some shit happened to him when he was a child. And I think he battles that you know I think he has like a real issue. Man he would. He would he's talked about it before I'm, not revealing anything that he hasn't said already, but he doesn't remember like a lot of childhood, but a lot of it. It's blocked out
he's got a substance problem. He just had a he has it more than anybody I've ever met in terms of like he gets it, and then that switch goes off and he's gone. You know he's off to the races and he's a sweet guy yeah. It is a talented guy, he's a really funny guy, like a Indian. I we did scenes together. We had a two hundred and thirty four and five takes 'cause. I couldn't stop laughing, I was holding it in as much as I can he's a really funny. Guy's ship based in does a negative and annoying as he was the other night. He was still sort of killing it through this glaze of just annoyance. I mean, of course, of course it was like he was just the Scottie. Pippen is Chappells Jordan 'cause. He was literally heckling Chappelle, while he's on status. That's fucked up, I shouldn't let him do it again, yeah they totally shut up. You can't do that. You can't do that and then they try to fuck her friend
yes, this is the first five times I met Andy. He was completely faced and obsessed with trying to me, and that was that MIKE okay nice to meet you again in, and that was that and in the last few times he was sober and awesome, yeah really great guy, and then I saw him for first time since that the other night and he's sitting in a chair write it in the back bar area like with the employees, are he's the only one just sitting there in a chair, and I'm like. Oh I, I wonder what happened to any is I'm walking up all in one motion as I get closer, I see at the same time he's licking some. But his arm that he's with just licking their arm up and down, and I'm like. Oh no he's not sober anymore, like his variation of sobriety and not super I'd, never seen him like getting drunk or having a drink. I've only seen him an absolutely at one thousand miles an hour ship face an aggressively sexual continuously or very nice dude,
it's so weird. I think he's a nice dude are these? Are nice dude? I think he really is a good guy. I think and he's a very good guy he's just a very good guy that does not get along with substances and he needs them for whatever reason they ease drawn to them you know. I don't. I don't know what you do to cure. Someone of that I'd. And I think you know I wouldn't. Even if I knew what to take your one person, I don't think I think everybody has their own individual answer for that, and I I think for some people they just don't want to ever get, completely free. They do and then they don't. You know they get bored or they can't take it anymore or whatever the fuck it is, but but isn't it weird that when somebody does start drinking like it's, never just like a little bit is like or you know. I start drinking, I shouldn't be drinking, I have a little buzz, it's just like opposite It's. I think it's a genetic thing too man there's something What alcohol they either got that thing or you don't. You know like if they like
I'm sitting here, only had water tonight and I'm looking at you drink and you know I've had drinks, but I'm not like going fucking drink and have fun. But some people they look at that God Damn drink and they just they just feeling smelling his fault smell that whiskey in there he just go fucker fuck, Could you start pulling at you and then you want it and then you say fuck. It was just one shot, just one shot boom and they throw it now and then blouse off to the races. He says: that's him yeah! That's I mean you could tell anyone that stop drinking NAS, started drinking red, bull or Starbucks all day, like the strongest coffee I just had in in San Francisco. I had because this new Nitro coffee, it is like having them pulled up for you, a pint. It is yeah. It's a made out of companies are making an ounce nitrogen native coffee. It's amazing. I only had half of a Grande
and I was like. Oh my god. I feel like I'm on drugs, like we have those caveman once Caveman Coffee, they're, small, they're, tiny, and they have two hundred and seventy milligrams of caffeine, Starbucks five six of those time yeah because he doesn't drink in the fucking two hundred and fifty pounds. So it's got more room to distribute over his body, but yeah he gets fucking wired on those God. Damn things get super excited that I love caffeine. So much alright of all the things you can be addicted to that one is the most active and least destructive. I wasn't as you you up to the point. We'd make decisions are getting car accidents or anything. I think I've done so much caffeine. I don't feel like I feel like I I like I'll. Have we don't as much yeah, it seems a muted with caffeine. Well, that's why people who use it for performance enhancing purposes they like to
not use caffeine during the day normally and then take caffeine before they workout like say if they have wrestling match or something like that? A lot of guys to do that. They'll have no caffeine in their diet and then right before they go and fight or something like that. They'll take a caffeine pill and then they get the full effects of it, because the fact that you're not like like how often we smoke pot, if we got anybody that doesn't smoke pot down here with us and we're hitting the same, we that were hidden, they would freak out we've seen it. You see that we've seen it before. I mean how many times we've gotten somebody highlight. Do you get high and then, like well I'll. Try at what the hell like. Ok, they take a big hit. They take a second hidden like your God. It's over I want set up buddy fuck. I thought he was dying for a second after smoking, Cali Weed for the first time he started like shaking like he literally sort of like just here, is getting electrocuted firm and we've done that to people so many times
unless you want in come on in, but it's just way too strong for that. For us, it's nothing. We do it all the time. So it's normal your body builds up this tolerance, but if you don't have that tolerance you get hit with, it Terrence Mckinney should say that's the best way to smoke. Wait he say the best way to do it is to don't do it at all for a long time and then do as much as you can stand it yeah it's like, then it becomes very, very psychedelic. He his thought was that we abuse marijuana. He was guilty of himself. He said the things we talk about his like you, listen before you listen to this, like. I am a confessed cannabis addict. Is a small cannabis everyday all day I smoking at night, but honest I think the way to do it is to take a long time off and then smoke your fucking brains out just take like weeks off just get br.
Bring your body completely back to baseline and then just big nope. I take two days off and it feels like if I smoke it's back to baseline, that fast, I don't want to operate two days off. How often you guys go on stage without it? I I try to most the time He struggled talking when you go on stage when you're high high yeah, I I I I I stutter or I lose my train of thought like if I'm going to like. I never go to that that bit now right then a light forget my weight when I was a just thinking, nine, it's memory for mostly, I think, like specially with like PETE Weed, I find that if I don't smoke. Peat swede. I actually remember everything I did that night, but if I do smoke peace we, I don't remember anything. I did that night. I used to always think it was alcohol based, but I've been trying it experiment with the same way- and I remember everything I smoke a lot of weed sweet and it just blocks my memory. Men in blue
kush, the memory eraser definitely different effect on everybody. Man. There's no doubt about that. 'cause you'll hear some people talk about pot and you like one are you experiencing. I almost want to be in your body. I roasted Snoop Dogg a few weeks ago, maybe like a little over a month ago and hanging out with him. I've hung out with them a few times, but this time it was app. After I roasted a man. I hung out with them the day before, because we were talking about the rose that was helping him with his thing at the end and everything you know what I mean so your smoke and then and then after the rest, and I let his I will let snoop up at this summer yeah I made fun of everybody. It was really crazy, like one of the most fun things I've ever done on stage anyway. Afterwards, we kicking it like hard fucking core right, because I had just like honored honored, the shit out of them, basically in front of all of his friends in this big cool theater in LA so
you know we were hanging all this stuff in it ever since then. He inspired me to smoke more weed, not by saying anything but just sort of like watching him operate and just realizing like wow this guy. Just says laughing and creative. All the time 'cause it net shuts off for every time. I've ever been around him he's always just riffin and always the funny. By far the funniest non comedian, I've ever met or worked with by far You ever hang out with snoop now never met him. You would fucking love him. You guys would click you guys crossing. The streams would like be unbelievable. 'cause he's he gets it. Man he's cool as but him and Martha Stewart is the best combination in the really don't they have like a show. Show together. What is it best? Combo they just have a killer, cooking show together and
on tv, yeah yeah, that's one of the regular regular show you who does it Chris Maguire no shit. Really one of the roast jokes that I did on Snoop was he that he is a cooking show with Martha and when asked what it's like to work with a seventy five year old Lady, Martha said not that bad. It's amazing, though, like when I've seen the clip like I just put it up on Youtube a couple of days ago, and I tweeted about it then, but ever since watching and have actually having the clip in getting when it cuts back every time it cuts back to snoop laughing. I still like my brain is like I can't fight. I still can't believe that it happened. Like that, that's new laughing right right that you actually did rostone it's so fucking, weird wow, but anyway I like doubled. My pot intake since this snoop thing- and I was already a very regular daily, pretty much you know once I get the bulk of
work done in the afternoon. If it's, whether I'm writing or just you know, whatever I have to do or book or whatever responsibilities, I have it's on I'm a fan yeah. Then I work a few hours later and then I do it again. I just keep smoking throughout the night after you good for you, works. I approve this message. It works for me, Batman as long as it works, and if you decide at one point that it doesn't work anymore and you want to switch it up, I mean it sometimes that happens to in your life. You get tired of it. Certain pattern. You know it might be different kind of workout you're doing or whatever it but just changing things. A little bit changing certain aspects of your life just a little just a little bit of a turn. A little deviation something new little something different. This could be huge huge for your brain. You know start thinking these different. I mean emptied. My house out recently just decided to pack everything up. I got a storage unit and I put it
storage unit, we're talking at Kill Tony about how people lived in their cars. I didn't that there's a whole thing of homeless, people that have storage unit and they use the storage unit to bathe in and like they just out there all day. They then yeah. It's a lot of there's a shower. How storage June, no no no they'll just come there with like wet naps and like we like, they were showing me my unit when I got it mean Jen and and she goes. Oh, we can't go down this hallway and I'm like why she goes just hold your nose. We can't go down this and I look ahead and there was a woman naked washing herself and poop rags everywhere, just rags on the ground, with poop on it everywhere and it smelled like poo, and she said that
she just lives there. During the day. That's like how she she shits on the ground, the letters they can't throw her out. There's like nothing, they can do, but you can't get her for like some sort of a health code violations shitting on the ground. That's what I said and she goes you would think you would think it's very weird and touchy, and this is funny how much people like try to protect
yeah. If she had a house you get arrested for that like if she had a house and she just wants a ship in public. I like to go to my storage unit. Take on the floor. People say you dirty. You got to go to jail, but because she doesn't have a house, she goes there and should some of for like all, we can do anything and it's also the location. There's this California culture read that we nurture people but like if I was in Texas and some storage unit owner walked by your when you get out of here right now. I just gotta say there is so much better than you, japanese mexican access level two days, a storage unit I couldn't get out of here. This is Texas nothing's, like San Francisco San Francisco's, the worst when it comes out. There's a aggressive homeless people everywhere somebody somebody took a huge ship yeah, I'm in JFK right in front of the punchline comedy club yeah. It was and has sure all yeah. I know it did because I two videos of it and
and I did you, save any photos that I can see right now, videos on photos on this shit I gotta deal. I got video about you, alot of me, so it's hard to see in the video, but it was but it okay- here's a little towel next to it. Yeah man, it's I've, never seen. War is homeless. People just wandering around anywhere in any one location that I have in San Francisco. It seems like they're, just super tolerant up there yeah it's one of the things that make San Francisco awesome is that open mindedness and tolerance, but we were there. It also leaves like an opening for that. We were there on Saturday when they were doing the march is up there. It was a good time. It was powerful. It drained. The kill. Tony show is amazing, but the two stand up shows I had after that. You could tell by the second show I was asking like how many you went to the march earlier, and it was just like. I mean wow crazy if you ever even heard of elected leader. That's been protested, this hard right after they got in office before they've done anything. But never
the funny thing is: there's a bunch of women out there. Obviously that voted for Trump or didn't vote at all. That's what the a lot of the numbers would say. ' 'cause. They said that most women voted for Trump right. No, no, ok! Most of the women that voted voted for Trump you won't know. I thought I heard no, no, no, no more women voted for Trump then voted for Hillary, but not most of the women voted for Trump. So it's like there's one hundred and three women. Fifty three of 'em voted for Trump. Fifty am hello relief that kind of a deal, but do you when you talk about the numbers that they had like in la any coming sent me this picture and I looked at, I want what in the fuck? Where is that she goes that's in downtown la my that is insane might, that's insane. I go. How many people are there? She goes, they expected three thousand and they got. Nine hundred thousand is the biggest one.
You know you may be even bigger than DC yeah. She said they they don't even really, they don't really know how many, but she says they think somewhere around. I think nine hundred and seventy thousand people close to a million incredible There are crazy and it was interesting how many older ladies and older women I flew. Back in the woman next to me, was an old lady that sprayed her hair, blue and she's like we went up to protest, and but it's aggressive looking, you think this all came from the grab the pussy stuff like if he didn't have the grabbed by the pussy stuff. This wouldn't exist right, yeah, it's because of one clip that they dug up from the early 90s in between a commercial break with him on inside addition with something. My talking about who knows the context that was happening before that by the way his whole. If you watch him talk his whole personia.
And he's talking about his son is the mexican word for it. You may know him is from Jerusalem program. It's very, very guy jockey by is very negative for women. Well, he's a good old boys club guy, it's awful to for me too. I don't that offer free. I just don't like here's a walk. I just don't like hearing him talk. Man he's just such a to me. I don't like them Who do you think, is kid though I voted. We better vote for Trump didn't vote for president. You got to that. You just left it out now because I didn't like either I would have had you know old man. Mickey interesting did you vote Gary Johnson did my podcasts. I voted for him. Yes, I know he didn't know. That seems like a throw away. That's like we were either either not phone, you know, and I Brian
it's never throw away. If everybody voted for Gary Johnson, he would want yeah, but I wasn't going to happen well, my not because it's never throw away. It's like you have to vote your mind. Otherwise voting is pointless, regardless of whether you think you're throwing your vote away like there's. So many people are saying that the reason with me, you know my state was going, go to. Hillary Clinton already knew that most people predicted that if I stepped in as the complete objective observer. I've never had anything to do with the system. Up to that point and then I walked in and they were telling me the projected victory was already to Hillary Clinton before it even started in this and they were right and they were right. New York right, so if I vote for Gary Johnson stuff throwing shit away. It's just voting my conscience and it's not even really in my conscience honestly because may maybe Gary is not the right guy for the job either. You know I mean he didn't know what Aleppo was, but you know Bernie Sanders isn't in it anymore and I'm not a big fan of Hillary and
I'm, I don't think I'm not a big fan of Trump. I'm not a big fan of any I'm, not a big fan of being president. How about that? I don't think anybody should be. President yeah, I think, there's a read articles which we did receive some between to me. I re tweeted about having a council of wise people like seven or eight people. Star wars was a gym. This article on fortune dot com, says that forty two percent of women, most of them white, came out to support. Him came out, support trump yeah right. When we were talking about that we're talking about the marches against Trump, I know what I mean that's done. Tony's point is that forty two percent of women voted for me so that that really I mean how many women then, where there that vote for Trump, probably none, because there's twenty million people LOS Angeles
twenty million people in LOS Angeles and you got less than a million. It's highly likely that that less than a million didn't vote state a lot of secret Trump supporters that are disguising themselves as these people and telling you there out there because they have these, it's a game to some of these people, I can feel it it. Would you think that people that were walking around in that rally actually voted for Trump and they're holding up signs fuck trump? You really think that I you yeah. I think that some of them yeah, I think that there secret trump supporters, yeah, absolutely marching with signs the whole deal for their what they have to do, for whatever their jobs are or whoever their bosses. Yeah sure Marshall join you at the March, yeah yeah sure. Definitely as long as you talk to Tom about that raise or whatever you know, whatever
people do things for some reason: furmark steps it right there, but it's crazy at that March, there's like five year old girls. These parents are mad about what the possibility of what their kids hearing something that Trump said and there's like five year old girls walking on the street, going down touch, my pussy don't touch my pussy. That's not really true. If you really see five year old saying, don't touch my pussy, they were there without the margin was saying: don't touch my and there's little cabin, you were saying the five year olds and such are a probably not. But, like here's, here's my question: do you think that having these gigantic marches all over the country like they did? Don't you think it's probably a good thing, because a guy like Trump? The last thing he wants is all people hating him. The last thing he wants us to realize that there's never been a president ever in the history, this country, that has gotten protest.
Did so widely and so hugely right after getting in office. That's that's gotta freak him out, and that has to affect the way you make decisions it has to knowing that these people, like you No, he just got in you have done anything all you do is win the election again in it almost seems interesting, because what, if that ends up turning him into you know what? If the a b there's a chance with, he just turns on these people and starts fulfilling the prophecy right, it's possible, I mean, but but then the Republicans that support him that are on defense. They wouldn't support him anymore. He said populist in a lot of ways. It's one of the more interesting things about this. Like he's willing to change his mind on things. If the people are, you know vehemently against his decisions. Yeah, I think it's going be real, weird, who knows knows what's going to happen,
but one of the things that I'm reading it's really fascinating is they're, trying to keep him away from television and criticism because she freaks out and then they don't want him to overreact. They don't want him to respond to criticism of him 'cause. He keeps making these some crazy tweets. What's this is press secretary or somebody that just put out a thing the other day there's I was talking about the numbers, how many people were at it at the thing yeah, you know what using a publicist, though you know what I mean he's, not even a press secretary, this guy's a publicist. They have a public this because of how bad you know, Trump is going to get into like the trouble he's going to get into that. Guy is going to be saving his ass a lot in the future. I feel my friend Jason Hairston he's the guy who owns this company that makes his job as a sales call. Then you yeah the the like Timmons Con. He has one of the up with he's one of the best. He makes some of the best hunting gear in the world and he has this picture on his instagram.
This is disputing what the press is saying when they were talking about how little the crowd was. Look, how big the crowd is there. This is an actual photo that he took with his actual phone and they were saying that the crowd didn't go out to the press. Tent will fucking, it clearly does yeah. There is a huge crowd, the conscious being a photo. You know what it could also just be the photo there could be like Brian look at that photo that photo shows a gigantic crowd of people. That goes all the way back pass where they said the crowd didn't go yeah, I'm saying there might be a big gap in just how the photo is that you can't see that there's like a gap in the middle, you know kind of like the whole thing the Louisiana. I do but look what you looking at yeah. He did not in that photo when that photo. You are looking at look at all those people all the way back there they go all we pass the barricades look at how many people there are like. That's, not the pictures they showed on television so, and you can see this folks show it Jason Hairston, J, Json Mha,
I r s t o n. This is a photo that he took himself and that's where it gets. Weird someone who is actually there who went to the inauguration? They could take another picture anytime. Does this photo jamming PBS? Put up this is a time lapse from the top of the Washington monument from the day like the time of day started, like sunrise is no everyone started leaving it, so they have all of it yeah. They have sky view of it. Okay, so his photo does it. Now with this? Is I'm saying, there's gaps, though, see there's gas, in between the cruise was not filled it from that angle. It represents a big crowd, but when you look at it from the top, you can see like the gaps in the but either way, there's a lot of people there, but it wasn't. I don't know if it was a million.
Yeah, but either way it's it's a giant crab, but it's nowhere near as many they went to see a bomb or the date that's been proven by the amount of people to take public transportation right yeah. So this is still not filled in yet, and it's still early yeah, I'm not even yeah. That was a c I. If hearing, if you're standing and there's a bunch of people missing in the middle you're, not gonna, be right. Tell because the people behind it's gonna fill in the gaps that doesn't pretty god damn packed. It does, but maybe that's what you're saying then, because of that. Well, I think it really in your head, it's hard to imagine what Obama's must look like 'cause. That does look insane, but he wasn't where, where when Obama was inaugurated, he wasn't there taking pictures in the same spot. Then we would get a chance to really check too really check it, understand it but mean that I would buy more than this because of what you said about perspective, but I mean
to still a fuck load of people, man they were making. It seem like there wasn't that many people- that's a lot of God, damn people it's just not as many as Obama. I would like to compare that to when Bush was inaugurated. Bush at more Bush had more. They. It is raining. It is raining at the Trump inauguration right, that's true, and how many Most people wear hair spray. In respect to Mr Trump, I saw point someone made to that. At the time in two thousand and nine. I guess, when Obama, when the inauguration happen, there a lot more people out of work. Oh shit in that now there's people that have jobs and it did That sounds like White House propaganda welfare, maybe statement public sincere Brock Obama try to find out how many people were there when Bush was inaugurated and how many people were there. When Clinton was inaugurated, there's a good one thousand Bush Whatsapp, two thousand and one the first one. Yeah. It was two thousand years ago. Shop out there shows a shows
reptiles shows. Are there on the shape of a skull Alex Jones? Did you hear he was down there and somebody some trump supporter or something like that and got this huge fight? And then No no Alex Jones was right. Next to it had to call the police oh, I saw someone was saying that Alex Jones had liquor on his breath. Yeah. He says he doesn't drink, two hundred doesn't drink three hundred thousand or so for two thousand, and one for Bush, four hundred thousand two thousand and five and then one dot, eight million for Barack in two thousand and nine and one million in twenty thirteen in comparison. Bill Clinton also had eight hundred thousand twenty three in two hundred and fifty thousand and ninety seven damn two and only two hundred and fifty thousand and ninety seven I mean the rain. Is going to deeply affect that, though 'cause? It's all local people logging there, one for that. A lot of people Jason Harrison Fluid for that Morgan, Murphy. She flew in for that
She flew in for the March yeah, but you flew in smart in the rain. You know a lot of those. That's another thing that goes against that a lot of those women that were marching their marching in the rain I mean that's why Jeremiah Hawkins in his character, Daisy Watkins, I like daisy, I like his character. Yeah, that was me they all had raincoats on during the roast battle tonight or during a rather took kill tony night. There is a religious at those Hillary supporters when out the rain. Is it a big deal because of this, the the question of the size or the question over the lying of the size lying of the science guy, but he doesn't. He wants to say this. Guy wants to say this is the largest crowd of any inauguration ever clearly. That's not true. That's fucked up! That's clearly, not true. If you look, it seems like a big ass crowd to me looking at that photo, but I've never looked at a photo of the inauguration before so, if you compare it to Obama, it's clearly still a big ass crowd, but it
definitely not the biggest crowd ever so. That's not good. When fucking White House, Minister of Propaganda sounds like that guy from Baghdad remember at the beginning of the war, there was some guy that was doing the Baghdad population thing, never that guy who the fuck was that guy, who is this moron outside the door Dylan people downstairs just walked downstairs, so they should keep the door shut, such a bad who yeah? I remember that guy Job Baghdad or something like that. Remember that. Like it was a meme it was hilarious, is like when the war started. Get the fuck outta here Jamie. Kick these guys out of here. Oh God, Jesus Christ, They're letting people fuck with us anyway, there was a character that was bag, dad, something god damn. It was his name
camera, don't remember it. Do you remember that and what was he saying? He was the proper, the Minister of Propaganda for a rack before we invaded and he was always saying, like you know, the iraqi troops are destroying the american Bob. No Bob back add Bob is ridiculous to predictions this guy. Yes, that's the guy Bob yeah? He was like up array on it. Looked like Saddam Hussein before Saddam Hussein went into hiding memory, they went into hiding and they found him in a hole where they pulled him out a hole and then hung him on tv. We watch them like everyone could see him get hung memory you saw it on. The internet is amazing, fucking crazy, but this Baghdad, that's it! It is Baghdad. Bob yeah did you watch uh, that's a damn series on HBO, no, But what I'm saying is this Baghdad, Bob God? This is essentially what that some guys doing.
He's saying shit that everybody knows is not true, he's exaggerating in a way that everybody knows is not true, and this is just beginning of the administration is quotas. My information was correct, but my interpretations were not God, whatever, who saying that Baghdad, Bob guys quote, is but this way house guys should be fired right. That should be a blade firing right hand start off a relationship with the american people with a big fat juicy lie like that fired. What about a speech is to a Dennis a hand. He was there's a picture of a hand. Writing is speeches, and then he played league ripped off the train speech in the avatar speech to write he in the years of things speech. Did you see it
what should I do in effect to the people? That's not that's typical political speak. Everybody digging bar cruelly balls, deep! That's a typical give it back to you to the people kind of when people turn it into the banding. I hope everybody is kidding about it being so stolen, like you know, we're not, let's plagiarize, but that it's the same thing. The problem with it being the same thing is this: what Bane said before you fucking want to destroy the city, but you shouldn't say that shit. When everybody knows that's what Bane said. That's that's. There's supposed to be a guide to check in for Bein speak no, but imagine if you were gonna hiding in some sort of cool to have a president. That said some things that your ridiculous, if it back to you, do you ever purchased. That's just that one part of it is like a whole. There's like a whole. Two three cents is not just that phrase, others more. There is no way that guy has enough time to write his speech
You know what he took a picture and just let him, of course, my God, fucking, you should haddock, will should've got damn feather in an ink bottle, clearly trump likes to write his speeches while watching Batman. Maybe he was just writing notes on his speeches with a pen, and so it wasn't a lie. Sort of kind of cut through his Dear White House Press. Why so serious sure yeah we not a problem. Then President Trump, are you watching that and with Heath Ledger last night yeah? This is going to be real, weird man. It's going to be really weird? If that's that's how it keeps up, maybe they'll, be an adjustment. Who knows, can you imagine cool. It would be if it was revealed that he did have a breathing problem all of a sudden and had to wear some fucking mask how awesome the avatar part is not not true that that wasn't set,
avatar. Well we're discusses notices. I was running that on a guy that married a call girl. I don't understand that. I still think it's a it's pretty good. What is pretty good snow overall, okay, but you have to listen to get this one guy behind this thing, as a guys are obviously will guy and his wife and they divorce, and now he's a guy and a former escort and they they still run it and they have a very clear left wing bias. It's very that we need, if they've been a part of like Anti Bush rallies in the past, and so I get it It's good to have something like that: I'm not totally dismissing it, but this is just people. This isn't like objective academics who have
home the land and look for the correct answer all the time. Their stuff is widely criticized. I don't always agree with the criticism, but it's not like they're the end all be all when it comes to truth is what's real on the internet? No! No, but it's definitely really good. For like say like a hey, they say these tacos are made out horses and in a yeah and they go here's an article. Here's an article got caught thanks. No, you know that that's. Why do some shit that was going on in a leading up to the election? That was pretty criticized, see you fine criticisms of Snopes, see if you find anything, that's any good. I found a great thing that university put together of how bias each thing is in which direction everything leans like they went really deep into it, and they made a really cool graph. Then that middle part is mainstream and the higher up it is the more actual and factual everything is in the lower. It is the more it's just like fake news like crap jargon and the
are there left. It means it leans, liberal, like those crazy stuff over there and then the far right, leans, conservative. And it has everything listed: what's really fucked up is we don't have CNN is hot dog shit if you're wondering like the fakest terab news, but that says that's where the source in the news. It was the source of this fox. It's not it's not. This was a study done by. I can't remember. The college says one point three million views, but I like PBS and routers, it's an imgur from the name, the person the post. It is wild Yucatan Man, Yucatan Man, but
as one point, eight million views some school. I can't remember the exact quite down this offer at it and then to snag the screen shot a picture because I found it so amazing and it shows you everything I basically b b c n, N p r is right in the middle, like it's like above the Washington Post above New York Times above NBC and ABC Usa, to day in CNN way down at the bottom, and it says the economist, the guardian, the Atlantic in the Wall Street Journal or basically the best men, more partisan bias mean stream, but still reputable well, they say about the wall. Street journal is because it deals with the financial markets and because you can't have just a clear editorial bias. It leans one way or the other that's going to affect business like they're, not going to tolerate that shit. They want to know what the fuck is really going on clean and clear without all your hippie logic thrown into it yep. What do you think about RT yeah with the Arty Russia today,
you know what man it's owned by Russia at the end of the day. You know you realize that like They've got some sort of an influence over them. I don't know how much of an influence, but I had Lee cancel my podcasts, I was asking him whether enough Putin uses fillers that dude fucking. Clamped up. He didn't want to say a word. Fillers fillers, like on his face and like his face, is looking looks like is doing something to his face like Botox or something Taylor, and he just clamped up to Montauk. Where is I've had Abby Marten on the show before and she's work for Russians today, and she just decided not to do it anymore. She's doing her own thing now and she is doing it. She was a report on the situation in Ukraine and they wanted to ship order. Ukraine, though Ok, once you go check it out, when you were going to send her there and she's going to go there on the ground, she's like the fuck, I am she's like I'm, not going to Russia,
we are your fucking mind and that's when she realized like. Oh, I gotta get out of this business. He tried his different in Russia. Is. She was criticizing him yeah Russia. Today it's a it's interesting, but probably a better news source then what you're getting from the America propaganda networks to do bad. I watched post debate I watched CNN and Fox NEWS, and I went back and forth for a couple of hours. I decided this is going to be like my project for the night, I'm going to see what the left is saying that I'm going to see what the right is saying. It was crazy. It was.
To alternate reality as to completely different worlds and is so biased on both sides. There's so biased, there's, no one who's, saying anything that might make the other side look good or it might soften someone's point of view or give Hillary Clinton is a thief and a liar and she's we profiting in the Clinton Foundation is a problem and she needs to go to jail and anybody else would be in jail and taxes and this and that and and real estate scandals and and then you go to the other side and it's all sexual assault, Donald Trump's, actual saw choose a sexual saw. A woman accuses him of sexual assault, this video, so they grab the pussy video and it was all call concentrating on that and that's another crazy thing about this study. Is that compare honestly according to this huge crazy study that they did? Fox NEWS while being completely leaning right, but still reputable CNN is not and see now This is not reputable at all
bottom of everything, but they say better than not reading news at all but say take a full, a screen, shot of that and send that to me and send me to meet with the guy's name on. I'm gonna put it on my instagram. Give that guy interesting in season the find out what it is in the in the season, the middle with the Washington Post. Well, Brian Williams, made sure of that. In fact he went to battle for it. Well, MSNBC yeah is the one that they're saying is the Fox NEWS of the left, basically, but still sort of it, but they're, but they're more read much more. According to this much more reputable than CNN, that's Rachel Maddow yeah yeah. She got up she it's a little bit crazy. Today, big old, lesbian running that show love it. I love the fact that you could have a clear and obvious short haired, lesbian woman. With uh. You know Ivy league education, be like your mouthpiece, like she's, the main dude over there. It is
and then you have that Keith Overman guys gone bananas he's just insane, and another thing is like he just all about. Like we've had a coup we've been taken over by Russia, Russia has taken over the United States, it's been a bloodless coup he does that show the resistance. You know he's going sue hard, left, yeah, he's yeah some loopy stuff like this suck watching him for nine minutes. The other day just ranting seems like he's in like some sort of like when those came, all studios now and he has to keep going like it doesn't go to commercial and another thing: that's what he's always done he's always been a great ranter. He was one of the original ESPN Sports Center guys and he was a fucking beast and then what happened? Why did they take him off? Espn 'cause? That's where everybody loved him and then he went from there and started doing political news so good, it's almost
once you start doing, Keith Olbermann right, you got in trouble. What do we set some shit that he shouldn't said he kept going against like? I think it was mostly it's like Disney or the because Disney owns yes, but fucking man. You got like him and Dan Patrick there. I think they were both banned from ESPN like facilities and a lot of talk to any ready for ten years, but damn Patrick recently, I think, got back in good graces a little bit or maybe his older men didn't Dan Patrick, is still completely like you're. Not don't talk to Dan, Patrick is what they kind of feel like it's like a big no? No? What did they get in trouble about I'll? Look it up. Second, ok, wow! but so then I didn't follow him and I did. I don't follow sports, so I didn't know you know. I didn't know that he was like this big sports guy, but I've heard people talk about and they really liked him, and then I remember he went over and started doing political stuff, and then there was a lot of controversy. And I feel, like some of the controversy was like. If you start out doing sports, you got to stick with sports motherfucker.
You don't like you starting out with sports and and all the sudden you're talking about politics. What What do you run a political's? What the fuck baseball this fucking, what about Willie Mays Baybrook come on Keith Base ball? That's what everybody right would happen you what happened? check for that and we're supposed to like listen the earth opinion on ranting, political stuff, but sports impolitic go hand in hand of two things. Like can't stand, you know for the most part, but you care about something I did just because I have to hear about it. Nonstop every single day, every single thing I internet tv people and all our talk about Trump, it's like a nightmare that won't stop, like. I don't give a shit about politics, but I have to talk about Trump, and here
trump order. You do give a about trump. Does not just the hear about him. You were just saying yeah, you know I mean I give a yeah. I it's embarrassing, but I'm like I wish I could just stop hearing about it now, like it's nothing else. I think people are tired of people complaining about it which suggesting to me as like. Would you want them to do like I'm? Just tired people fucking complaining about it, God, damn it suck it up. He won suck it up he's our president, like do you we expect that people are just going to stop complaining 'cause. That's ridiculous! People always complain people complain, no matter who the fuck wins. If Hillary Clinton had one right now, people would be going crazy on Fox NEWS. They would be screaming for her head. We can only hope that someone, someone has the courage to prosecute this terminal for deleting those emails, and they would just go crazy about it, but the difference is Republicans would not have walked in the street and less she I grabbed by the Dick video, but they pulled out of nowhere and even then people would think it was funny. Women would be out there grab his dick Crabb
this deck and let's throw this out there. Yeah, ok, so, first of all the whole trump saying grab him by the pussy he's talking about. If you have a ton of money to, to some guy famous is that what it was he's like your celebrity just grabbed by the pussy? They let you but you're, saying they. Let you he's talking to like crazy groupies, but here's the thing in like people are like. Oh that's unfit to be a president, but what are last I mean our last great president got his dick sucked in office in in the oval office by an intern, then he lied about it to everybody, including everyone. I did not have sexual relations. Economy was bumpin, gas prices were seventy two cents and nobody gave a fuck, but now all of a sudden, it's like wait. This guy is demonising women. It's like! Oh, ok! Well, we just got caught
and it's one of things that he said he's, like I heard Bill Clinton, say well worse things yeah Bill Clinton on the golf course Bill Clinton Bill Clinton, his dick sucked, while being the president, were talking about a recording on the commercial break of what inside edition. Ninety two I mean comparisons are insane but Bill Clinton's, a saint anyone got freakishly great president. There's a difference between here and someone say something and knowing they did something to people. There's a difference. Like day. Knowing someone did something is like wow. I don't see it. I hereby no set the audio bill. Clinton got his dick sucked came out yeah as I go along. You will then in turn. Let me shoot on your dress, Jamie. What we gonna say it was older men that was actually banned from ESPN's main campus. That's why, when he came back, he was doing a show from New York. In times square from I can is a beast
see like sub studio. It is a lot to run and starting in nineteen ninety seven he went on a the daily show when it was still hosted by Craig Kilborn, who was a former ESPN Co anchor with them. That was like his first problem. He he he called ESPN's main campus, a God forsaken play is. He got into an argument you get in trouble for saying that not true, so just lots of different things that happened over like ten year period and then he came back like I said he had a little stent with them. He got in trouble again for saying shit against Penn state supporters. They suspended him for a little bit against Penn state supporters after the Sandusky trial. What This is the worst. I'm sorry about that Lee also that stuff is kind of all been forgotten. Now, none of the data all of their punishments have this kind of all disappeared. Then I'm not punished anymore. They're back in the top of like college football rankings and everything for Penn State yeah. Really two people are coming down here again, we gotta get one of the comedy store people to block the door. Fifth,
I know they can get down here, but they just leave the door open and then there's a stairway where people could just fall Joe there supposed to be a security guy up there not supposed let them down there. She just shut the door. Some people found out we're down here now, that's a problem! 'cause! I open my big fucking because we're talking about it called it the underground at the comedy, store yeah, but this people that work here that are supposed to be stopping the people from down here and they haven't been doing it. So this is the Lu Cyst, like I like the people that work here, they're all comics, if they're all fuck offs, everybody like half ass, is everything when it comes to like letting people into anything hilarious. What's half of the fun of this place we're going to have to have someone? watch the door from now on these folks. Take to yes, okay, that was the producer guy, ARI, no wasn't three set of I saw another do to ya,
either way. We should do these live instead of like making it like this down in here. Maybe we should just move this shit to the belly room. I love life podcasting more than anything. Well, the belly room is such a great spot for it too, and we've we've done a bunch of Kill Tony's up there. I feel, like maybe there's a problem with like people knowing that we're doing it down here You know where they want to see a new after Kill Tony there like. Were you guys doing that? Show yeah? It's like you can't watch it so go home, just being a good new, lock or something for that door up there, well. They just need to have someone that actually stays where they're supposed to stay. Not not let people down and also like that's crazy, staircase, there's all sorts of equipment down here this. It's totally like behind the scenes, there's all equipment at the comedy store owns it's all out there sitting out there. You can just be wandering around that bitch, but people are, weird man. They just want to be behind the scenes they want to get to that back bar they want to go.
Behind the bar People want, it was when I go that one place we not supposed to go and that's what's crazy is like when I got here, I was MR, like I hate you add to invite me. I've always treated this building with a ridiculous amount of respect like I never wanted anyone working for now. I'm talking about that. It goes that if there's a statement that that is a thing in which like and I've seen it, those people the push themselves in a back alley that are always trying to smoke pot with everybody there. Never the ones that end up fucking doing anything they're, always the ones in which it's like a found out, I'm open to move back home, my mom sick, so I gotta go to you know that is the worst. When someone like chimes in on a conversation and just all the sudden stops talking about the males, yeah but yeah, exactly and you get a lot of that back there. It's the worse than their losers. You know what I mean, but my point is is like the people that you know go with
went where they are invited and with people that their friends with you know it's different. There's just a different thing No, definitely as people want to race to the back to the to the green room in the back to smoke, because they think there's a short cut waiting for them there and there's a knot you still, after a short cut to make it as a comic yeah, but I guess that but a but I think this analogy applies probably for any job. You know what I mean is it's like. It's not just about the hang well, you've always had islamic nation of the two. You always have this like disdain for people who network yeah yeah is, I think, there's a way to do it and I think it happens organically and naturally and people over do it. It's just gross the people who overdo it almost always not that funny. Yeah and I do it a lot, but I do it my own way. You know what I mean is that makes sense like I'm not like a network are, but I hang out- and I do three
podcast, so we can fucking gonna still pick up all the time and it's different there's one thing: that's like you're, not consciously trying to network you're working with your peers in your friends, yeah, there's there's that network is, I think, there's a natural amount of networking that has you watch house of cards. It's my I think I'm the one that did you watch it now. Yes, I would not you don't tell me about a lot of people, told me about yeah. Don't try to claim you tell me about. You know, I'm sure a lot of people dicks, it's like one of only for you, let's go back to the show yeah if it's a fucking hilarious show when you realize like this is probably how it really works and that networking like that kind of shit like that kind of networking, is what we're scared of in comedy That's how the entire business runs at how what the White House runs. That's how politics runs. That's why, you're scared of it 'cause your skin. With that kind of shit getting into here where it's all about favors and bullshit right, the
this place has a loophole for not having that crap. It used to be dude, it used to be that's how you got gigs. It used to be that there was a big problem in Hollywood. For a long time is like that's. How people got on shows that's how they were writers like there was a lot of fuck and really bad writers back in the day that were on it comes a cute. Thank him, You get to be a writer on my a friends, a seinfeld or something like that. You got to be a really funny person by the way. That's Totale still a thing in writers rooms. Oh yeah tell me about that. Huh, I mean there's you know a guy or two that I have worked with. You know in the small you know, rose writers world that I've, then that are literally you know there well in a huge favor man like maybe the people feel bad for this guy. You know what I mean or whatever, but you know- he's lazy and doesn't do much, and you know sort of
gets to like phone and while everybody else is sort of like writing, the actual thing probably gets nothing in. You know what I mean it's a part of PA have, I think, it's a part of that entire crazy world is there's always like a favor. Always is always they have these teams. A lot of times. Comedy teams are like writer, teams are one really funny guy and the other guy who writes the funny shit down total get the funny guy wanders around the office scratches his beard and the other guys writing shit down. Even if you watch six days to air like it's so fucking you, Matt and Trey period, while those other People are, you know, writers, but it barely tagging. Anything you've totally see the vision. Just puking he's just looking at out of his head laughing they're, both laughing and adding to each others thing then there's these other people that you know people yeah but they're. Just I mean that you need them too and
environment. I think I think you need like the occasional dusting and sprinkling totaly, but that's a different situation. 'cause. You got a super genius yeah that Trey Parker Dude Super genius, and so that's that's one thing, but like those sitcoms yeah when you work in a sitcom, that's when it becomes really apparent- and it's also one of the weird things about comedy writers is: some comedy writers are stand up comics, but most of them are not so like where are they practicing all this comedy like are you? Do you don't perform it? But you know it's funny. You sure. Are you sure? are you sure that was funny 'cause? I write a lot of things down that I think is going to be funny and then not really funny like. How do you practice you? Don't you get taken by people like me? They get added to the writers room and you get Fucking house. Then it makes these people After what do you mean you get taken? I come in an all of a sudden, I'm writing the jokes that are making it to the actual
episode. For example, there's gotta be some funny. People you're working with two totally totally, but there those people normally by the way or stand up comedians as well. There's a few gurus but occasionally people have ideas that are not not not performers that it just they just write just comedy writers and just go. What is going on with this yeah? Some people were continuously some people are B's, it's a very interesting business yeah, but there's a couple, people that get by an id know how I it shocks me. Sometimes when I see a certain couple, people in another writers, through making writers guild riding alone is a fascinating enterprise. You know making things up sitting down in front of a computer and making up scenarios making up people making top stories, making up plots making up twists in the plots and characters and just
fucking crazy way to make a living is weird: it's lose your mind to formulate a world. You know it's. Can you usally asking yourself questions you're, like writing a trivia game and answering it at the same time? Who is the character? What would he do? What is that? Why would he smell like what is this? What would he say? That's why comedy teams totally makes sense, but I've at the comedy guy from the comedy team after they broke up like that, one that got tired of the guy who's, not funny and said what the fuck am. I doing this guy you Carter just reading things to the guy in the director challenge. I've met that guy to those guys. Brutal and you'll oh, you are a part of a team huh. I met two guys like that: Joey Joey or whatever that well that want those two at ten? Oh, no, not comedian, standup! No! Now that's italian! No! I'm talking about writers, yeah! There's a I've met a bunch of those guys like when
I had a development deal long time ago, this guy that he used to be a writer on friends. This dude had like bowling shoes on, and he was part of a comedy team. The team broke up and I met with the guy was like he's wearing bowling shoes like you know, trying like wacky. Where are bowling shoes. Those aren't comfortable like nobody wants to wear bowling shoes accused where bowling shoes, because, like bowling shoes, like he's so wacky, he wears bowling shoes around the office and I was telling my manager was like he's wearing fucking bowling shoes. I don't like he's like a serious ago yeah. Why is he wearing bone shows like we had this conversation like? Why do you care? I go. I care because it's like. Why would you doing that 'cause, you want to be wack. We have exploding tie like he's going to check out my carnation squirts you. What is this guy? What does he think is actually funny he gave us
script and it was the worst piece of shit. I've ever read. It was so bad. It was so bad. It was stunning. It was so bad that the network who recommended him and they gave him a gigantic development deal after he left this sitcom. My friends went to another one. I forget what it was, but they gave this But gigantic network deal like a huge development deal, and this is the first thing that he delivered off this you stealing and everybody was like. Oh no, that's when the concept of the comedy team became apparent to me what others, two of them and the funny one left this guy behind and he's like fuck this guy yeah and there's no, no he's very funny too and most importantly understand, story structure I go down and now he's not funny I got this is definitely not funny. Well, you know. This is a first draft and you realize nope this a terrible concept like the concept was awful. It was about a guy who time travels and
or he's immortal, and he was yeah. That's what he's immortal and all he does is like get laid like what been around since ancient Egypt using like cursed in ancient Egypt, so we can never die and just gets laid and then all network there like looking at each other like what in the fuck I go yeah. Well the summary. So good luck with all that, I'm fucking abandon ship was hilarious. Things like that that he pitched every day, there's some now comes into an office and I've had some fucking terrible ideas myself, I'm glad some terrible. Yes, I thought were good you right now in like this. Is it and then you like put it down for a couple of weeks, come back to me like what the fuck was. I thinking like. Oh my god, I mean what percentage of ideas that you start out with that you bring this stage eventually wind up looking into a special or make interact permanently.
Is it even half, probably about probably a probably about half yeah, I think so. Well, 'cause. I really don't try it unless. I really really think it's funny like in think that it fits with my tone in everything you have the possibility of working those things out. You know hammering them out on stage it's a really knocked it out of the park with a comedy script and now never practicing for like right. That's one of the things that makes s park so particularly special is like that even practicing it turning it into like its best form there I'm coming at you with this. I do like the the a f a national idea. I mean they they've honed, it they've cut it down. They've edited it they've gone over they've made it funnier, I'm sure, but like they. I don't get to do it like for six months in front of various crowds and watch
to come to life. You know, if you think about guys, like Stephen King, at all the shit guys made up of sits around and make things up. Gc is Nichelle the one thousand one hundred and twenty nine about JFK assassination and time travel. No every heard. What's it on right, it's on Netflix. It is, I think, Hulu James Franco's, like the start yeah. What's it called again, one thousand one hundred and twenty nine eleven two thousand three hundred and sixty three. I think so. It's the day got shot, It's really good six part yeah, it's fun. It does time travel in Franco's great in it today. Gonna, stop and think about all the fucking amazing entertainments Stephen King has put out over the years that guys insane here I mean Carey. It Salem's lot Christine you can on on on on on pets,
military maximum overdrive yeah. I mean that guys made some misery misery on right on Helen Bowser, name, Kathy, Bates, Ebay, something Helen Hunt, You put her in my head early at least sonofabitch picking up those twister halls, yeah man, God damn damn that one guy is responsible for so much iconic, entertainment, silver bullet, the chair in a werewolf things are getting remade already too, like it's being remade right now, come out. Who's remaking. It I mean he's part of it. He's you gotta talk right into the mic, suck Bill Skarsgard and I don't recognize anyone that Skarsgard guard is scars, got oh wow, look like that! who's. Put the the show together Is it a movie, but that's book that so long I've read that book
It's a long book. It yeah! That's why when they had it on television they have it a multiple part miniseries and there was that comic. Not it was it what the fuck is different flu TIM, the guy from the rocky horror picture, show yeah. I am very sorry he was the the the clown right. Yeah wasn't yep and you know it you know TIM Curry is like in a wheelchair. I could barely talk and he's like he's like a vegetable, almost what happened. I think, had a stroke yeah. He had a really bad stroke. You know no one really talks about that either. You don't really know that, like I saw many interview and I was like what the fuck happened to TIM curry. Oh that's a bummer! I didn't know that Richard Dawkins had a stroke. Two, the scientist, the selfish meme, you know no other guys he's a pretty famous atheist and scientist and author.
And he had a stroke, but he recovered and it didn't what is cognitive function, but it did affect the way hands, moved, can't play the piano and it also affected. He can't I think he can't sing anymore. I can't pull it off off like he's diminished, but he still speaks, which is really interesting. The part of it his brain that was affected by the stroke. It didn't fuck him up to the point where you can't sing anymore, or he can't talk anymore. He talks, as well as he always did, makes really lucid points. Still it's nuts, how it's probably like a microscopic fraction of a difference like a stroke, what it hits and what it doesn't hit you know what I mean, what could had any portion of your brain, but the portion that hit on his brain just affect motor skills, apparently fortunately, for him, FUCK man, what a weird feeling to know, though your body's us kind of like short circuiting, like that, you blew a fuse. You know.
A circuit the other day, you know you something it doesn't work like what the fuck, then you go with the circuit board over this fucking flip out for the flipped out soccer over and then it starts working again and you gotta think man, that's kind of like your brains, almost like a biological circuit board. You know a bunch of electricity going through there, bunch of neurons firing all these cells in there and every now and then one over goes. That can happen. Is TIM Conway still alive? It's a good question. His son was a really good radio, show host, stood Conway and Steckler alive and kicking. I love that, Conway and stickler. They have a really good radio show on that Fm Talk station. I think he's still doing something. I heard him the other day. And some TIM Conway Junior never hear about him. He would have a gray
podcast that guy maybe does he does typed in his name and it pops up the TIM Conway. I think it's not show TIM Conway Junior on demand, it says call his name. Oh there you go. I did it show a gang of Times way back in the day, back when talk. Radio was crazy. They had a whole network, whole radio station devoted to talk radio in LA it was crazy. I remember listening to it like they do went all talk is when I was on news. Radio would be driving to work in like this is great. They just talk They would just have funny shit and occasionally have a whack host. They let a few like ones in name only. It was a M radio. Now Fm Fm Talk, wow yeah, a still actually is, is he's on the on the air. Here a m c K. If I am six hundred and forty for six and ten week days, and they take that he does the morning show at night six hundred to one thousand pm.
So ten, six hundred and ten Pm Podcast had a nighttime show back then to what happened. Steckler guys he still around Apple Dumpling gang. I don't even know about that. You only spring that up. I don't know what that reference. What is that reference to TIM, Conway and Don Knotts movie? Your daughters, would love it, probably not It's yeah any of my favourites, Beetlejuice that Debbie a fun I sent the like the lock. You know they thought was hilarious, Talladega nights. They were a little inappropriate, okay, few in appropriate things. They save a God. Damn that shows funny that movie rather was funny. Did you show a mole on now or whatever yeah? They love that that yes, amazing, star wars yeah this is star wars. It's funny. I watched the old star wars, you want
all star wars, then you watch the new star wars in like this special effects. The ring some school projects. You know I mean it literally looks like something that a million kids could do better on the internet. Right now with another fan of the new one, I fell asleep. Fifteen times during, I didn't see the newest new one I saw the one before the new one. Where Han solo dies. I didn't see the newest new one. I like I like the newest new one. The new one is one the best one. Yet definitely right system is boring as FUCK Brian needed. Delete that day yeah, you probably 3d. Maybe it was because it was in 3d Three days- and I said no, Three was after five, three d. You know where they're like yeah, let's make a three day. You know it wasn't anything awesome and I think I'd rather not have seen in three d. I think maybe that might have been it because it was so boring that is in the no 3d going on services, like my eyes, are getting tired. I just need to sleep. I kept up honestly
they. Can you just sound unhealthy? No! No, but I thought I thought it was just me like. I thought it was something like I didn't have any sleep, but then the one I've read on Twitter agree and said the same exact, so this fight people to follow you, I'm, like I'm sleepy to I like to see what you thought I mean yeah I yeah. Actually acting was horrible, really yeah horrible. I literally know nothing about crazy person. You know what I'm excited for John Wick, two, yeah, I'm down with that. I just saw a good movie last. Take I shouldn't say good. It was really it was pretty good. It wasn't great that movie split, which is getting a lot of
is right now. So that's that M night, Shama Lama, Ding Dong Movie, did surprisingly well fuck that dude, I guess he keeps tricking me. I know yeah it wasn't. It wasn't one of those kind of like oh there's, a big twist at the end. Everyone is saying: there's a twist at the end: it's not that big of a fucking surprise or anything like that, but the movie itself is pretty interesting. It's about people with did, which is disassociates of associative identity disorder, which is fucking weird. I looked it up some more stuff on it. If it's real the way that this movie to picks it ought insane, but well people definitely have blown brains. You know but that M night Shama Lama, Ding Dong guy he got
put the fucking elevator movie, I'm going to watch this devils in the elevator man. That's got a bunch of how much you mother fucker. I think the Marky Mark one with the trees yeah kills. The trees come to life would kill folks yeah. You got me with that. One too. He got me with the village. We know the people that live in the village they found was planes flying overhead. They walk out to the road. It's walking distance didn't even bring food. Six sense was cool signs was scary at points, but really bad million. Thank you. How fucking stupid that village concept was they had this village? They thought they were living in the 1800s or Albom, but meanwhile there in Modern America, and the way this is experiment in the way that protects experiment. Planes didn't fly over it. Ok, boy when surely you must be no fucking where near people, because oh you right over there or you could just walk. You could just walk to the town and they didn't find out about you all these years.
Fuck you yeah yeah, fireworks fourth of July, come on. It's really something fuck outta here bitch. I don't think I saw the village now that I think about it so stupid it was so stupid and I thought was about monsters to the monsters were taken people. What is like people dressed like money when your heart to beat watch a movie called, don't breathe unbelievable movie about a bunch of you know: punk cool smart, like thieves, kids that are coming up and like on a good run of robberies and they go, and they they see that this form Vietnam Vet one like a ton of money in a lawsuit and someone close to him at the bank said that he took it all out in cash and has it in his house like that at this hot tip that this guy has like a couple million in cash in his house and he's some old old Vietnam Vet. So let's do that, then they go. Don't say anymore, okay, more alert! What the
search the net for literally the set up for us on the podcast and I mistakenly said it was the guy from the Kevin Smith moving. You call it out as the guy from avatar. Like the general yeah, I mean I really yeah yeah yeah. Okay, that's not remember it yeah, don't breeze. No one else was really good. There's a a zombie movie. The thing was made in England: I think it's called the girl with all the gifs and it's about a kid. That's a zombie like there's a disease, and these people get it, and it's not like some turns of frantic in this one girl. I think they're using according to the the trailer they using her as a like to make a vaccine, but these fucking pandemic disease movies, where people go crazy and start killing each other. They seem a little scarier now that Trump's in office serious about that Trump. Getting a mask thing like how great that would be better now.
President, do you should've been here the inauguration night, not inauguration night? We did a podcast in here with Jeff, Ross and Jeffrey, this was freaking me out. He's knows trump. He roasted Trump is like he's, never leaving he's going to be there for twenty years and he'll leave, but will make sure that somebody who's his friend gets elected and he'll, be as adviser and he'll be right there with them that his son will get in he's like that's it. It's over now he's in that says, and then the moment he gets in he takes the LBJ page off the White House, and he x the now they were erasing aid that halfway down now. That happens with every presidential change. I read a whole thing about that. The two feel Bgg heart, a archive everything they take everything from everybody's thing and completely scratch it, and then they put up the new page yeah, the new president, yes you'll about L, b g t who doesn't give a about climate change and it doesn't give a about civil rights. Same thing still same thing, no matter what
what he decided to remove and not replace, but I think I think, like a process, though right is it. I think I don't think they would have a website in place. I read a whole thing in maybe I can again. I can't cite the source 'cause, like I told you earlier smoking twice as much weed if I ever have before in my life so like, but I read that that's something that happened when Barack took office like a lot of this stuff by the way that's happening is stuff. That is a very regular thing, like people are freaking out about his cabinet pics. But I read uh old thing on that, where it's like yeah, that's how this stuff works. It's like it goes to get approved by this in it is cabinet, picks tell a lot about his intentions. You know to guide the former Exxon, CEO and but don't you I think that's sort of good to have do you. Really put a five year, like he's the first president, to say that you can't just go, join lobbies and you can't get rich you're not going to get rich off of me.
I think, maybe, if that guy, who he Fairview who's trump known for hiring people, that's like what what is specialty is it if he had fire that guy? For a reason, if it's 'cause he's such a fucking freak that he might be one of the people that fix the economy, look, how much money you made mobile x! I'm just saying that if he's right, then fine fuck that be so great, I'm rooting for the guy, it seems scarier if he's right about what. So the problem is, like everyone knows, is a real, transparent deal that Obama blocked. Where x, I was trying to drill, and they were they were trying to make this deal with Russia and Exxon got. They got cock, blocked by Obama, and now that Obamas out and then the former Exxon CEO is in, like people are wondering like is: are they doing something that the environmentalist think could potentially be a huge disaster and then they doing it for profit? I don't know, I don't follow it enough.
That's when I'm not optimistic, though that's when I get nervous, you know, but then again like things like this Dakota pipeline, you know about that right there go to pipeline, they would try it. I mean they. Fucking did man, they arrested people for trying to protest them. This government decided an easement. They decided to put through p those private land. These are these guys had ranchers. There's river that runs through. Then they wanted to drill this pipeline right under the river. An if it blew you know with they do all the time. If it go, is bad. This whole river system gets totally poisoned and they successfully blocked it, but people had to they had to put a lot of like blood, sweat and tears into and that a protest for a long time they got shot out with water hoses that has that has in the cold weather that happened under Obama's watch that right yeah. So I mean
and it's one of those things where it's like absolutely at least we're learning that if you do have to make some sacrifices and protests in certain situation like that that maybe it will work, it is interesting to happen under Obama's watch and he didn't do jack shit about and he didn't freak out. He had to have been aware. He had to know that these people are there protesting a very dangerous situation, it's all fucked up man there's so the profit to be made, and then these guys have to think hey. You know if we Don't do this, then we're relying upon the Sultan nine is gold underwear. You know because that's the only place where we're going to get our oil from right. We have to get our oil from the Middle EAST. Should we get ourselves? Should we get it this way? Is that better? Is it better for our country? How do we do it without fucking up the environment? Can you prove to me that we're not going to fuck up the environment and then they they do and then they go out and they go all sir we've got a problem. Earthquakes have increased by five hundred percent earthquakes. What do you earthquakes? Well, we didn't
scientist betas, but apparently, when you frack and drill holes in the ground the earth shifts- and we have some serious earthquakes and unfortunately, because and shifting some of that trip is gotten into the water supply run off alone, and that's where that's why, they are right now in Oklahoma, Oklahoma, they're, having a fuck ton of earthquakes and they to figure out what to do 'cause these gases digging holes in the ground, I mean we're. Crazy monsters were like termites were termites. Digging holes into the ground and were sucking up all the juicy stuff. So we could like fires That's what we're doing we're lighting fires related gas fires in oil fires. We just contain them inside these metal blocks. I mean that's we're doing the other. We need all this stuff for is combustion engines and make plastic. So we could choke birds. That's what we're doing.
We're joking birds, joking birds in lighting, fires, they're going to tap or natural resources on federal lands according to the first energy plan on the White House website. So we have the quote from. We must take advantage of the estimated fifty trillion dollars an untapped shale oil and natural gas reserves, especially those on federal lands at the american people, and that's super interesting and discussed terrible thing. That's a terrible thing yet terrible thing, because that's what we're talking about Teddy Roosevelt the public land and have in public land? How and be it's such a huge issue and she is such a an amazing resource like places like Yellowstone MIKE all these places where you can go and hiking camping, fishing and hunt and do whatever you enjoy is insane piece of nature that we have here in same piece of wilderness.
We have an amazing public land system in this country and is a bunch of people that are working really hard to keep that in place, but when they start talking about taking out the natural resources and drilling into it and shit doesn't look good right. Everybody checking their watches time. You got here, one thousand two hundred and thirty. We should enough. We do like two hours right in every two hours, two hours and one slash two hour to an How far is Jesus Christ enough enough already? Ok, everybody bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye will probably do this again. Hey, maybe next one will do, will try to do onstage, who knows or will sneak one in here. Where are not people coming down and not
the door and trying to take selfies in front of the door. Hey come see me do stand up comedy going to sit me not me, see you talking to the listener, so they look at my income year, Color Lego in San Antonio this weekend, she's coccyx, Texas, yeah all weekend San Antonio Chicago River Center Improv. All these states are tonyhinchcliffe dot com. San Antonio is an improved yeah. We're going to the royal rumble on Sunday me and a whole gang of people here were in there all doing the shows with me. It's like a dream weekend making gay the guy that falls asleep at movies. 'cause he's got the body of a go on right,
Sunday, his clip dot com for all this tour de Tonyhinchcliffe, dot, com latest Jenn and Brian, where for art thou about this February, first comedy store main room and some other shit go to desk dot, tvsquad dot, tv sons of bitches, Joe Rogan, just did kill ten. I just did kill Tony sinless judge young comedians and kill tony episode. Two hundreds coming up in the main room and she'll tell me we did today was a good one. The girl at the end, what was her name Kirsten yeah, dirty, hippie commentary access, a dirty, hippie comic on Twitter, she's, hilarious, yeah, she's, really funny. She was good. She killed me with them tonight in VR, so there's two streams: Jesus Christ. What more do you want? You Fox got it all right folks. That's it see you soon bye everybody little tired at the end of that podcast folks, you kind of feel it right. Yeah may not the best idea to do two in a row like that, this sin
it was like a little bit of an experiment, but you could tell everybody was like I don't fucking, tired plus It's almost one hundred o'clock in the morning. It's one thousand two hundred and forty five. So next time next time, we'll do it differently. What I want do, though, is more these podcasts from the comedy store, because I think it's fun to just hang out here. An get comics like right from the shows, maybe not like right after he did a podcast, though maybe it's maybe I'm just a bitch. Maybe I'm tired uh. Thank you to Caveman coffee, the Caveman Coffee Nitro in my car that I throwing on the way over here, two hundred and seventy milligrams, caffeine, folks, nitrogenated, cold brew, uh Cavemancoffeeco dot com use the code, Word Rogan and save ten percent off of any of their awesome beverages, fantastic coffee, single source, single family, single origin thanks also
go to Legalzoom Legalzoom, which is an awesome way for you to take care of legal issues without the hassle of going anywhere. Go to Legalzoom dot com and use the code word Rogan at check out for a nice discount, an thank you so to on it, go to Onn it use the code, Word Rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements alright. Folks. That's it see you tomorrow, bye.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.