« The Joe Rogan Experience

#915 - Nick DiPaolo

2017-02-13 | 🔗
Nick DiPaolo is a writer and stand up comedian. See his latest special "Inflammatory" when it premieres on Seeso on February 16.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hey the fox happen everybody high comedy basic are coming up march third i'm at the car theater at the mgm grand in las vegas nv with tony hinchcliffe and ian edwards now ian edwards on the bill as well oh boy um april the shea's performing the art center april seventh in buffalo joey diaz and tony hinchcliffe is sold the fuck out so we're add a second show we sold out three thousand tickets in a day so we're going to to do a show so we'll put that up soon thank you everybody glad you guys are pumped were palm joey's pumped tony hinchcliffe is pumped we're gonna i'm so fucking fun buffalo we're going to eat wings with blue cheese only fact joey doesn't fuck around and then portland
basically both shows are sold out there's like some single tickets available for the second show that's the four hundred and twenty show april 20th everything else is fucking sold out oh i'm going to do the verizon wireless theater in dallas on may twelve off friday may 12th that uh tickets are not on sale yet but there ufc in dallas on may 13th so may 12th we will do a show in dallas at the verizon wireless theater so i'll let you know when all that shit's going on we're you by square space square space is a company go to square space dot com forward slash joe this way needed to go there and check out what square space has to offer and what they do is they provide an incredible service that allows you
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old laughing at a million times and it's always cool to talk to him give it up for my friend mister nick depalo logan experience trying my day joe rogan podcast by night all day nick depalo ladies and gentlemen showing boy nick how do we become old men i don't understand computers and technology anymore it happen even even if i was twenty i still wouldn't get it how much smart enough but stop stop being so hard on yourself you boy mens instead of a grasp on jamie must be journal no he's just on the ball he just understands shit he understands certain shit that is there anything that i understand that you know i understand yeah a lot of shit about cars why is it doing that right and chicks right what happened lot of thing about cars but that's just 'cause you don't you don't pay attention to cars it doesn't register it some of it just like it goes in and out stuff i've heard about it a lot and some things with electronics is the same way there's certain level of electricity
i'm scared of almond and stuff like that i don't want to die so i stop listening my buddy until you from newton newton mass he is an electrician and one of the guys that i used to work with well i'll never forget that he was telling uh so look someone likes to fucking hear the ding every time the text goes not out ding that's how bad electricity was working with this guy and i don't remember what it was working on but the guy just got just totally zapped blue office his all skin his fucking years ago on his eyelids are gone i mean it just basic became a monster but survived and i'll never forget that uh never forget him telling me about that guy and from that moment on from when i was like sixteen i've been fucking terrified of electricity because you can't see it and shit that's crazy we live in a box right and in the walls of this box is this fucking invisible saying that if you stick a fork in there it'll kill you just blow you fucking brains out well
actually does like a fail safe right if you stick a fork in it you just get a horrible jolt this thing i gotta do i don't know wasn't that that's the difference between alternate current and direct current right isn't it if i knew that ants i wouldn't be afraid of it apparently in england they have a far higher level of electricity that's going through their walls yeah because this shit when you go over there you have special adapters exactly it just kills everybody that stupid we let the stupid people live in england if you stick fork in the world finds your whole family kills them to this apparently super powerful i was changing the phil i have a generator at a cola generator you know it runs on natural gas and offering his winter comes when winters get where i live at the end of a dirt road in the woods so when the when the power goes out my jersey the first house to go out and it kicks right it's the best thing i ever did but i'm out there like fucking changing felt on and then also
look over his little instructions like on inside of a door saying you have to disconnect the battery when you know and you're not i got like a can of coke in my hand and i can hardly see screwdriver in your mouth yeah i am frightening when i lived in colorado we had one of those it was running on propane so when the power would go out it's awesome the power go out we go to click and then right up you would hear it immediately in one second just went down it's the guy it's only the house told me to get it he had like a small one he she said you should get her you know does years run propane would yeah yeah yeah it's two hundred and fifty gallons yeah that lasts a long time to write two hundred and fifty gallons of outside believable i ran for we and last year we had a storm and into power when i ran for two one slash two days and it only move the needle like a little it was like this is the fucking balls man i know it is kind of crazy how little use yeah
yeah when that big storm hit was that like a year or two years ago with the one where there was no food and people are going to dunkin' donuts and eating up all the croissants there's like nothing in there that it goes to show you how god damn fragile our whole structure is we have this false sense of security that much more so over there than over here over here at least it doesn't get cold but over there you know when you when you get trapped in its nose your kind of like i just back from new york yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i just flew back yesterday and i was supposed to fly in on thursday but they got it they got hit with fourteen inches and everything to shut down this cancel flights yes i was headed to chicago might get canceled yeah so the on the on the on the airlines like that do you a favor they send you a text like at three in the morning while you sleep in exactly find you another booking that's great it's a bargain like why do which is forty eight miles from my house it's it's us seven am you sit in seat forty eight g only i going them again thanks and i had to change in louisville and i did
that and the we sat on that are marked the tarmac for two hours before that was fun this is why under the routing book people out here yell at me you never come to california i go out tonight new jersey make the same money one night also it's hard to get out here in the winter especially yeah don i was in my power i was on the tarmac yesterday and they had to de ice and then we apparently sat on the runway too long we have to go back in de ice again whatever okay plane in each take six months to get over here on a horse no but it still fucking aggravating i mean things to ride horses they said take a horse with wooden wheeled sled behind it and used to that and your baby would be on the sled with your wife never be scared of indians they still do that in tulsa i don't think they do that anymore i actually i actually but people make fun of the fly i the states and
i i let i i i sit in new york traffic because i now live in the suburbs like an at the drive into the city and the car the the mayor does not want cars on the city he's made it impossible his bike it's a multi year this gave all lanes is lanes for all people in this in new york city that mold are you know the city doesn't worry changed the lanes for kia you can't you can't you you should not bring your car when i do all the time like an idiot and i well i'm sitting there and complaining in my car i go you know i would fucking kill live in tulsa right now eight minutes yeah he's allowed to pick up something i think everybody has a totally different opinion of the fly over states now that trump's president they're like oh they get to vote to yeah no exactly i i always like them know you're exactly right that's exactly right different work this is real they're paying attention to an ohio well that was a really good point that a lot of people had when trump got elected was that all these people
that live in these predominantly liberal areas like california new york a particular new york city in california they were all like oh my god trump is horrible all my god trump is horrible we love hillary were so excited to have our first female president it's going to happen it's one hundred percent it's going to happen do you know anybody that's voting for trump i don't 'cause there's so insulated they literally don't know any conservative so they were convinced that she who's getting exactly right they said if you take out la county in new york city that like he would who won the popular vote to just not even a whole state of california just la county and like a couple of hours in new york city he would like one the problem let you right there in a bubble what is crazy is like he's not a good candidate it's not he's like the perfect republic and he's not like it is absolutely right reagan cares exactly right come up standing guy who just love him and like yeah that's a president right there no no which is k are flashing i mean i yes everybody for
for the last thirty years i don't want to go there but you guys know by right wingers oh my fucking yeah fans like dinner well not i'm label that are you a right winger or you will not have a centrist i am a centris but people in show business if you lean right on two issues out of four hundred you reply cannot even call a right winger well yeah i'm not smoking hippie for them i know you're a nice blend for like fucking jerry brown when it is what he was saying yeah when he was crazy fuck i can't believe he's really the govern nobody even notices california doesn't even need governor like if he died and no one said anything you like where is jerry i don't know what to do let's go eat i know what do you wanna do right he doesn't show up much he display set up every once in awhile but talks about him ever in this state
any seventy what he's going to be seventy five thousand years old yes no one complains about him no one talks about unknown praises am it's just he's a nongovernment when schwarzenegger was of the governor everybody talked i can't believe the terminator is the governor they had governator t shirts at the fucking airport you could buy it was a real governor like we knew we had a governor right now you ask the average person just walked on the street who is the governor california they will fuck and stare at you like you have three heads they don't even know i like that well is california going to succeed from the union or we have two we have two it's like you might as well all those assholes that are using non organic this where is governor jerry brown governor jerry what is this twenty four minutes ago there we go perfect governor jerry brown's office remains mum on his location oroville gray
apples with emergency efforts can so you heard about that fucking that flood dams ready to blow holy christ out there evacuating area while the governor hold on a second go back to the store while the the governor issued an emergency order sunday there has not been an update senses office with was mom on his location ice fucking dead he's dead and then want to give a position so it's very over it sounds very russian remember the russian they bottom or scientology when guy's wife missing no sharks i and leah said the animals to ask which you want to say that i had on the part i know you do i love her and like the meter she's she's a ball the lady yeah crossman spitfire yeah she's a little animal very interesting that she was a scientologist her whole life malls goes contrary to like how she bullshit and everything like how the hell did you not call bullshit on that so weird that's my first question i watch that stuff i go really
walked into some office in la and fucking they give you some pamphlets and said look we can put these on whole fucking how is catholicism any less ridiculous i do i don't believe in that shit and even i was raised i was forced to go to church about seventh grade and i used to start wrestling my father you know breaking shit on sunday and he wasn't religious when he was laying his bed and go go to church with your mother i think there's a real problem with having a right and having a left i think as soon as i have two sides of people can pick people just get on one side and then fucking dig their heels in well i read that book recently and it's been out for about ten years you probably i know your boy alex jones is a mentioned one thousand times in the truth about the the group it was written like ten years ago they keep updating it i'll never vote again it really is like
the people running the whole for complex well is it really is the how the the truck get in because i don't think he wanted him in no but that's it is a part of that yes so it's a trick but he doesn't know he's a part of it that's how deep it rises dis way to go i do do you you know this one now this is a day in the guy's name is daniel s jilin e s t u l i n it's about eight eight nine years old his book and you will i read it on vacation i was walking on the beach i didn't see anything i was in uh go and i can't believe it a soccer i've been my whole i remember i fucking bombed in connecticut not in connecticut and pennsylvania wants 'cause a body mind gave me a copy of best evidence by david lift and it was a conspiracy book about the assassination by this guy david lift in sassa nation of jfk by this guy who was he was apparently using accountant and he he was given some task to write some paper about the but the president or about the warren commission and as he was
want to the warren commission which is just this enormous thing many many volumes he found all these in consistency's and things didn't make sense and no one expected everyone to read now whatever the what is nine hundred volumes to this asshole read at all and then he just went in detail about how much how ridiculous the warren commission report was and then he started investigating the actual facts behind the assassination itself it freaked me the fuck out is like to kill the president man you went on stage right after you read it i've done nothing nothing's funny eight dick i've done that a couple times got damn it well i did it when i was living in la i read robert bork judge bork oh you know and it get crystallize a lot of shit but i was thinking that i got my god all this is but i living in la at the time and i'm trying to spew some of that shit like at lawyer comedy store
jan two although get on that now is a live answer with exactly but i you know terry the original room of the comedy so they were really happening now some lady got so mad at me at the original room what i was just saying that i don't think that women should be able to guard the white house know that bit that i had in the bit was that i can guard the white house either you know i know 'cause i met shaquille o'neal on his dick is where my face faces the white house is experiencing a shaq attack on the wrong dude to save the world like people are not fucking even we're not even and then the joke when she was fucking screaming and yelling at me i could listen stupid i just said i can't do it either i could do you understand that yeah i know they don't have that part they have the part you said women should exactly that's all they glom onto my in a minute and then i said look this is with this wish get really crazy i want to have any kick her out and i go my face other people in the world are all women have a wife have three daughters there my face people might die but i could beat the fuck out of all of them and she went crazy she was like that's it i can't set it up set it up
the house on may not notice for you so you what you just crystallize there i've been going through for like thirty years on it's so crazy it's just a but i'm saying myself i'm like i i i write with physical combat on a daily basis almost i know what what you can and can't do i can't leave a girl guarding the fucking white house by yourself and less you that bitch in a robocop suit with fucking nuke weapons she's going to pull it off ice set one of my bits was a talk about women in the military this is again i think living in la when i wrote it i don't think they should be in the military 'cause they don't throw that well i don't i don't i don't think i don't think twenty soldiers should die because pam's grenade tossed land from the bunker and it's one of my best to get okay on letterman that's fine i made and but every time to be a table of girls that would get you know get the feathers well i'm not whacked i'm not happy that rhonda rowsey lost but in a way it makes
is easier because there was a bunch of fucking people that were going oh yeah what about rhonda rowsey she'll kick it and i made the mistake of saying like hyperbole ok i'm the master of hyperbole i've exaggerate all the time i was like she could prob beat half the men bantam weights in the in the u s hetero now it's not for failing to track in the center of the time now it's definitely not you should be a few that aren't good outside the sport look if she gets guys on the ground she can a lot of people upper judo is a hundred percent legit her arm bars about amongst the best in the business but let's say i guess we say in the jeep baghdad to me she have you had your fuck some thirty five i'm kidding i will fuck you up but the point is even with some coke and tell her all these fucking went around around and then thank god now that she's lost everyone relaxed with that but you know and then the argument as well who she lost to you know who's who up the most a lesbian i mean yeah it is yeah but but but did not that's exactly right here's the thing with
feminist movement they used to you know we can do anything men can do but they wouldn't push the physical thing bad debt been on their arm but not anymore now i was at gotham comedy club about three years ago and i'm doing a fight breaks out had not to do with me two tables got into it i mean a big big there's a woman in the middle standing in the middle a girl and i don't mean like a butch dyke e like a brunch these things she's got her hands up she throws a punch at one of the doorman now the doorman comes over and knocks her out like she was fucking larry holmes in his 60s she went down like she was shot and i never heard any lawsuits or anything but she was throwing haymakers it that like the fucking do they really believe and again i guess said amanda known as hubby scale that bright yeah but a man is a not a lot to do that yeah that's what i mean it could be something there well yeah she's half a guy you know that was an interesting tied which is fine well i mean she's not she's all she's all warm and just like women but
really you don't think some her she's got a little more in a less estrogen than my wife a little more man juice i think it's all biology now it's saying that i'm not being derogatory i mean yeah i think she should be a smaller celebrated than she is because she's the first ever woman of lesbian champion in mma i mean there's you don't see how come let's be and get their own designation like they're not just gay like it's l b g army lesbian gay and lesbian and gay like they get their own thing they're not just gay like you a gay woman you're also a lesbian gay man is not a thing like he doesn't have an extra thing not like you're also a fez be and you know now you talking tom cruise i mean lesbians are not just gay they have their own little designation that's how they wanted to get what they want as i was reading i was reading those joy i was reading those like the terms now
cisgender oh yeah those are wonderful i ran outta says i ran out of printing paper i'm not shit now it's right now 'cause i was on like page seventy eight i ran out of paper and i i started reading am i actually do this in my special my c so special that's coming out thursday i talk about the i go so confusing out the lips you confuse everything nobody knows what bathroom to use and i got that night club the other night here's the ladies room right here and the manager was right next to the pile of shit in the middle with a tampon stuck in a fake mustache ha ha ha and i'm not be derogatory i i got you have a relative who's like trans gender i wouldn't want to have to do it you know but but we're talking about these people like they make up sixty percent of the population that is where i get a little buck an angry guy from road this guy with a mustache and talks like this you know the guys always in like trust sam elliott sam elliott yes it's a great meme with sam elliott and it was
like they used to be a time where we worried more about the safety of women and children than men who like to wear dresses it was uh well those memes online like holy shit and someone put it up and everybody went crazy because there's a thing like there are people who are fucking crazy who are men who like to wear dresses want to pretend there a woman like there's transgender people and then there's sick flux that also like to wear dresses and go into the women's room you open the door you open the door to everybody well that's what i said these young kids and i'm on stage like these kids in their 20s you should be taken advantage of this confusion you nightclub you see a hot chick you can slap it on all over into the ladies room and go identifies a tonight open at style i'm like any lennix went back which used to wear suits but i'm definitely a woman any links is to wear suits yes sweet dreams are made of i don't remember what when when when that was big were we looking at are going on what what
we want to question our sexuality good in that suit yes hot just george ever everything he's beautiful shoes did she come out and she is now she's a woman she's all much like she actually looks good there for christ with orange hair and publish it looks like if trump with trans gender and his team's not even his teens like like eleven just like it looks like the president what a weird haircut look danielle he's got his hair go i want to talk to him on again my mushrooms get him shave his head to trump change a lot so let it go grail well he's not just gray like what the fuck is going on i don't know taking on it is there like so much stuff happening in his head while he's going to trim around the years this isn't one thousand nine hundred and seventy five i'm just saying well i think he could get picky he likes
keeping it long so you could fuck and spin it around and cover all the barren lands well sure you can hide a lot of it yeah deficiencies he's definitely got something going on there's a whole theory as to what's happening in his hair that there's uh there's a guy that ran company that they would take her and they would you know it by her my people in india and then they bleach it to whatever color your hair is and then they would attach it to your skull these microfilaments and it can get that done look like shit and they went out of business except they had an office in trump tower right below below trump's office and so the company went out of business but their office still remain so the idea is that he's the only client and tr it comes down get his hair done by this guy was in like that's a great idea i want to say it was like esquire or gq like one of those magazines and it was like the secret behind trump's hair there's this whole invest the gate if report on trump's hair it sounds like a plot for cbs sitcom did you
what was going on and i think it was chile there was a paper a newspaper that had a photo of trump but they use the alec baldwin picture instead of the donald trump picked they fucked up or they did it up are probably dated on purpose but it's a lair nbc will be doing that god we fucked yeah right yeah here it is this is what the guy used to do microcell micro cylinder so it's like these little things that glue to your hair so it look i think the hairs are coming straight out of your scalp 'cause they glued these little like little tiny hula hoops with air attached to it i guess and it sticks right out of your hair right out of your head yeah i don't totally understand that it's probably like pewbs from a third world country apparently it looked like shit which makes friends his hair looks like shit right look at that see five hundred here's added a ninety minute sis got this thing going around now mrs let his hair see that the mean that is like trump kerr then right yes so this guy was bald i know you're right that there it is see
that's a wave in hawaii somebody should be riding like his hair doesn't make any sense it's like there's so much volume but so little volume at the same time when yeah when you seventy it shouldn't be long in the back well all of it's it's chaos like why not just shave your fucking head bro it's so easy are worth of fuckin one hundred billion dollars or your wife is not down you because the way you look you know like shay you fucking head you can do whatever you want but when you're that age and you got that much here you don't want to shave it why not whole thing schedule like you look good with the ball hit a feel good i'm not just kissing your ass but you talk but he i mean he might something tells me he's got a big veni giants call that scared the shit out of both republicans and democrats like ogre's dick which i don't know it just veni an angry big
rotten to measure we finally really was a dick head like you've got a whole like a whale whole the top of his head just pre comes leaking out hello holyshit holy cover it i said on the plane on the way to chicago i open the you know the airplane magazine because i fucking forgot to bring my shit some reading that and this joe rogan front and center talking about valentine's day oh yeah yeah that was what is he saying i wrote something that was so outrageous but it was really good well what they but put in there was like a fraction of what i wrote what i wrote was filled with swear words and now project so my you are would just letting lillie of females slide show little the female side is all they left in that i see they asked me to write something like all right so i'm gonna give a fuck so i smoked a joint i wrote something crazy and i sent it to them and they're like well they have to edit it heavily among let him who cares
what's in there is like barely mine but it may in santa it was kind of like oh my god he's 'cause you said like in a few years what the grasp of the whole article was you saying let it let it out it's like you love your wife right in a car and stuff like that shit out because in a few years are going to be able to read each others minds right wasn't the gist and it made sense and i you don't believe in that shit on my goo where were about thirty years away from being mind reading robots i really believe that i don't think will be dead so i don't give a fuck i think we're going to we're going to be some sort of combination of people and machine within the next thirty i really do think if you think of how close we are with communication about how we can tweet and send pictures and share information so quickly like mouse instantaneously then the neck possible step is that we're going to be closer than that we're going to have that shit in your head and we're going to put chip but uh something you mean so i think so there are not some probably
guardians i play in chicago it seemed like they had chips uh mike you now it was great you ever do that no one else but this his mind yeah that was great i believe india is just it is a seasonal special there yeah that's what they tell me four eight room grey room she goes to me she goes but does she even want me because the saturday crowd i saw three or four shots which i was excited about she goes the saturday early show might be they get a little rowdy how much do each five minutes i'm making fun of hillary you know how they got mad at you i'm like no just one fat ugly bitch got mad and i wanted to kick her fucking ugly head off her shoulders this chubb it fucking miserable i'm going yeah i could tell you know hillary wasn't healthy it's like shit stain in our pantsuit she's going up the stairs in his blood come out of a nostril air wax and she got this lady right up until you're a fucking asshole and gives me the finger whoa like and you know it's her hero bro one should be nice to her here oh fuck her hair and fuck her picture new picture of hillary and bill and hill
bills looks like he's wearing something from motorcycle movie from the 1970s and hiller is dress like the villain in every kung fu movie and i'm not kidding she's literally wearing a fucking car i've joked around about that before that she dresses like the villain in every country english but this is communist leader to the next level and she literally has like an asian jacking on and some fucking scarf underneath it she's trying to cover up the turkey necks she loves china it's her version of a comb over she just going up trying to hide that nash in either four miles from that how shall i sore on the woods the other day he wonder are kind yeah live four miles from their house yeah they have a house in they have a house in chapel qua did they really up in westchester they go they probably one hundred houses crooks heading up there make them with so much want to be in civil servants well they didn't dig once they get out even when they were in while the well i mean he was given majority but when they started that foundation right we know how they made it i mean this selling influence all over the world does foundation just took a big hit some
is apple and that foundation they're going to shut it down there so exposed during the election but it was there was a big article like very recently i didn't read it i saw it someone was telling me about it i don't know what it is yeah shop talking but it's a podcast i ply one like when i'm like i don't know what i'm talking about it but that's where i step on the gas right dig my heels and start fucking swearing how about that picture i sent you yesterday i pointed to fitzsimmons podcast cleaner foundation partner hiked opiate overdose hiked zero opiate zero those reversal drug price by six hundred and eighty percent that's very republican of jesus christ jesus fucking christ so in open overdose reversal drug which saves people from opiate and they hiked at price it's opioid saying it wrong i i'm wrong opioid refers overdose shouldn't
yeah word like that opioid it's heroin this fucking her going to her like all is well i have to say oh people call it pure horse overdose versus drug by six eighty percent so i'm sure that you wanted money we had investments we had two or satisfy stockholders and so are important black support hillary clinton and women that are supported woman's right to choose yeah a woman's right to choose god it's very important sometimes you heard the word the phrase i strong woman in the last fucking twenty years or nasty women everyone is a nasty woman now remember that when trump called her nasty woman then also all these women had nasty woman as their twitter handle yes you jen kirkman she called herself jenn nasty kirk woman she wasn't kirkman anymore they're having fun with it i guess and went nuts when tape him relevant trump loves to grab pussy so does hillary why is it
of the controversy deserve you think that i'm saying are you trying to say that are you kidding maine she burped in my face once listen to cbs uh like a three day old mackerel like a candle smoke muscles there's left in the back of a mini van for three weeks in august i like smoked oysters oh i don't know i'm not going to think about them now when i open them up and think of hillary's breath you'll think of clips when you open oysters really yeah looks like mutilated click taurus because they're a good way of maintaining a ketogenic diet nicked apollo not because i'm disparage i am too i know about all that shit i saw you eating you put up those like little videos i don't was the facebook live or whatever you will make him breakfast with like five eggs and kimchi and shit i went i have like four five eggs every morning do you does
and criminals probably work for the clinton administration they were trying to convince us for a long time that eggs are bad for you that cholesterol listened to me folks not bad very good for you i saw you had like kimchi and it was enough look what last you two weeks and i was like your breakfast let's get you hyper stoma well i'm still hyper goddamnit is alright just wait right here so you just need to workout want talking to people and want to try that elk roast you made that was fucking hoping you had some leftovers while my buddy john dudley had this guy chad ward on his podcast chad ward is this a barbecue master and he was basically saying that when i cook that what i'm run by grilling things over high heat that you fuck it up because you dry out the meat somewhat so what did you say do it says don't cook anything over two hundred and seventy five degrees i'm like alright i'll try it so i put it roast on last night i put a meat thermometer in that bitch an allowance low and slow for like an hour and a half i cook this roast it wasn't a big roast either cooked for an hour and a half got it one hundred and twenty five degrees then i took out for
and you have said the outside side yeah with butter hot but then melted butter you rap it up at aluminum foil and you put it in a cooler yeah so the cooler will keep it warm just like it keeps it cold right i put in a yeah cooler no shit yeah yeah this is all those barbecue masters do they let it finish in a cooler and then i pulled up bitch doubt i slice it up hollyshorts cooper i was looking at the pictures it was cooked fucking purple always show is he right was so delicious and it was so much moisture than any row i cook some delicious roast in the past but they were always i'm a good cook but i've been told that i cut into it too soon and that's why is all the bleeding out yeah it's like looking teenager was amazing i poured that blood all over it i enjoyed that but hey what's on the outside of it what's the rub not to turn this into a culture where so ramped kosher salt black pepper and garlic powder so i put so all that on before i put it excuse me before i put it into the grill before i put it into the pellet grill
pellet grills if you don't have one of those i don't they are have a pellet gun see squirrels and shit yes pellet grills are the shit because they they maintain the same temperature and it's all run on wood 'cause it totally healthy because they have an alum like a heating element in there and they have these wood pellets in the wood pellets are made when they cut like wood for a table like this they take the hardwood from that stuff and the compress it and then natural sugars in the would allow it to stay in these pellets and the pellets you could break him up in your hand it's they're not they're like really easy to break right because it's not really a solid right but when the heating element cooks them then the heat from that and the the fire from the pellets and the smoke flavors the meat so it's natural wood flavoring one hundred percent natural no chemical you can get flavored pellets you mean yeah you get no shit you get apple would you get oak you can get hickory let's see i don't think they have pussy for you could probably start it
start your own company lockwood yeah i just have a bunch of girls sitting here by the lumber yard just take it rub it on the that know that book that i saw that my dentist that is cooked perfectly yeah well nice crunch on the outside the guys definitely right because before i was doing it all by i'd in doing it by timing but using a meat thermometer i got the inside two hundred twenty five degrees this which is not quite enough right it's a little lower than cooking yeah exactly so then when you see here on the outside it gets a little more inside because of that and then when you wrap it up in aluminum foil because this hearing is only a few minutes and then so you see here at the end yeah which is just the opposite people used to do this year the outside well this guy is a world champion barbeque guy so i just listen to him yeah but i don't know man they do it differently in certain steakhouses but steakhouses you cooking a beef beef steak and a beef steak is so filled with fat it's so different
now the it now the elk is it leans super lean has shown a lack of help on spec it's the most flavor is it because when you really isn't that's why we believe it's got a rich different kind of taste to it because it's just it's such a healthy animal because that it's a giant animals on the run around eating whatever the it once it's not it's not a it's not of this journal but now it's like you eat an athlete you know it's like your car ask it's like you got something that can run in spring point i sing me jump subscribe wanted to bring you back from the edge is that what it said on the menu started salivating when you think about carlos bent over a sofa now after we granted three fucking charity pulling his ass apart tasted like herschel walker yeah better yeah that's a but you get
you getting like this is healthy strong animal it just has more vitamins in it more nutrients it taste different it's just got more vibrant unless i killed it so i know where it came from you i will be out here yeah when you hit it on the one i want to some not shot with a bow and arrow so i would because and support and kevin cozens killer and now bone arrow guy to me it's like i don't know man maybe it's not everybody shot went to englewood i want to watts have found it outside of a liquor store at three hundred o'clock in the morning bugle in which go hunting seriously felt that one i think that is from ma to hone ranch which is not real honestly not that far from here always on a ranch in his band then and i don't you know some pending at all two hundred seventy thousand acres free range where hair loss notes it's upstate it's outside of like one slash two hour outside of bakersfield but this
it's a huge ranch the biggest ranch in all california and so i've been there i've haunted elk there i've got dear that i shot in iowa that i'm going to cook that way tonight yeah my cousin said he does bow and arrows away to go yes it just takes way too long to learn how to do it for most people but it does not loud like there's no like this is my friend cameron hanes always likes describe it he's like when you go to the wood is everything is peaceful and quiet in the guns like boom he's like it all seemed out of place here all the bird to go what the fuck like but with a bow and arrow it's like almost silence like black you know but just take and it's harder it's more of a sport well yes it equals a little more even be awake closer you get close you gotta be like sitting on its back when you gotta be fucking sneaky 'cause that's it's really exciting about like when you're stalking like one of the most fun once i went on i was failed
i went to nevada we went a spot in stock hunting from mule deer and so you're like you're like creeping up on these deer in these fucking deal with some mule deer am full year is one of the largest deer species and it lives in mostly in the west and they are the mule deer right there and that's a meal deer right there that one with the velvet stillness app ok it's a big deer and they live in the woods and you gotta creep up on these fuckers you're used to being attacked by mountain lions so there the huge like a mule's ear that's why they call mule deer and see how your fucking years i'm like what's going on the click obama was over here it's over here how dare you big fucking big ears you not a bible fan i'm a bama fan is a statesman i don't think a lot of things he did well that's a good point but it states when he was an excellent representative very nasty i buy that that's part of the problem with trump is that now assholes have a king you know
like usually as well i mean there's all that but see that's what i'm he's but he's plainspoken that's what i like about he's not a that professional politician and and that you know that's sort of what i like about don't get me wrong but do you understand what do you like about i just fucked and it's a cheap form yes i did how dare yeah how dare you they're not going to let you leave jerry brown is going to raise up from jerry brown fucking find fun smoke another joint get dope not bad for you i forgot one talking to what she was saying that's why i confused i have guns and weed i like the the great be scared what did you change i told you my weed story or did i when i ate the edible yeah well animals are different trip spell your guy went out of joint since one thousand nine hundred and ninety two yeah we should start super slow and acid for me i fucking freaked out
we were on vacation recently an uh my wife can put away the fucking animals she likes edibles she likes to eat apples before she goes to bed in our friend of ours who is a guy from england really great guy very smart guy doesn't speak threat and doesn't smoke pot at all in my wife is like i'm going to take my madison and she should take as she takes it before she goes to bed she likes it relaxer and he's like well you know what is that every night every night every night she not but not if she doesn't have a good sleep without it and she sees better with it but she did she go down mean gene and she did she give you should to get joey diaz doses but she takes high doses so when he ok um she give some to our friend and
she gives him half of what she takes echo that's too much like he's going to be fine this mother fucker like an hour and a half late it was like we have to check on the children and make sure there still breathing so out of his mind and next day who's still high the next day look up for breakfast still high just trippin his balls off is when you eat it it's a psychedelic drug it's not the same thing i fucking well like i said literally i hadn't smoked a giant i was never a weed since like the early 90s so swede in general is stronger and then to make it inedible and then i did the typical rookie stew but then i took a corner of it i wait about thirty one minutes i make this ain't doing shit exactly i ate the rest like a snickers bar next thing on like fucking those four words no never say after you take weed i don't feel shit this is my first words i said
they set yourself up for disaster i had no idea you know i didn't eat the whole thing but i took another and then i'm watching my fucking like i said my flat screen tv fifty one inch in and also don't look like black and white eleven inch tv you start freaking it sound that a mile away and she had pulled so i did what you supposed to do in that situation i ran into a dark bedroom and standard alarm clock we you do if you really fucked up like that drink coffee that's one thing the coffee does cow iraq the the cannabis that's one thing to do okay if you're really freaking out of you have too much by your system drink coffee another one take a call gold shower ben reilly up cold as fuck just get in there and suffered so where you can't breathe you know those cold showers are yellow cheeses no i doubt i love those showers i take those
all the time specially after yoga i take a hot yoga and then i take a cold shower like funny 'cause it gets if you're wide awake if i could put ice in the water tank i would do that it's just like woo mysterious illness linked to marijuana use on the rise and legal weed states that scott adams what they do to him he got younger the sun this story was going around for a couple of weeks ago wow this is at the end of the year it's called it's called the scale and color brain damage cannabinoids hyperemesis syndrome oh i had that a couple weeks you can look up a bunch of stories on it people went to the er for it but with this nausea vomiting and crampy abdominal pain walking off pussy chipotle hot showers or baths interesting relieved by hot showers ok maybe i'm giving the wrong advice so just take a hot shower now i'm saying cold thanks jeff information pussy know why it says hot shower 'cause you're too much of a pussy take cold shower cold shower probably kills you quicker i love cold showers 'cause it's like it's suffer
yeah i have to say i heard there yeah yeah i was when i lived there for turner university main water heater broke down it's it's yep february main okay letter letter minus twenty one outside and we don't have i go in the shower and its so called you could feel each individual drop hitting you on the head like it huh right it was made my eyes water it's fucking be like almost thirty two degrees exactly exactly just a shade over ice when i was doing back in the thai kwando days there's this guy named bob cafarella and he was my instructors one of my instructors first black belts and it was just a complete psycho and bob cafarella you so take cold showers that's what he's he's he slept in the gym he lived in the jimmy to teach classes there for the longest time and he would take cold showers because it was good for the spirit this guy didn't take a fucking quick shower either it wasn't like ok we're done now that do it
sitting there we would all be terrified of him and we get in that cold shower we knew how cold it was and it was a different level of psycho he was it's a horrible way to die you don't by the way just get cold not just say and people falling through ice and shit oh yeah and i mean can you fucking imagine there's a football they found recently of a moose it was like half in half out it just got tired trying to get out of the ice and qas moussa walk on frozen lakes but there fucking one thousand eight hundred pounds right then will step in one area where it's not that thick this fucker went right through and he just got stuck and they and he throws there frozen where in the lake like that lady in the and those last week the goodwill bin he read that one right now and so everything was in pennsylvania she goes through goodwill bend to put some shit in at two hundred in the morning although they said she had items out when they found her it sounds like she was robin it to me but she
the goodwill bent on the morning the fuck and she's on a foot ladder d bend led falls and on her arm bite her arm and wrist she's hanging from the side of the bend the latter falls she's caught yeah listen to this that happened at two hundred in the morning they find where frozen the next one oh jesus is that not fucking whore she's doing a nice thing contributing close talk about it no good deed and they find her hanging from the benz peep two horrible that they don't realize how risky it is like you ever see someone trying to fix their gutter with the latter in that you know it was my old man that's how well already links dad fell off her rise yeah yeah fucking ladders match my own they will be on a ladder with fucking like would like a cig network and will be a gas pipe a foot away you know well it just describes you like that other guy from osha wants to talk to you the gas station recently in hollywood and some asshole came up to me asked me about my car and he smoking a cigarette and
the guy won't run the gas station screaming at him get the fuck away from the gas get the fuck away from the gas and he's like fuck you bitches like this weird i've just hang out guys sounds very black and i wasn't blah back that is what's weird he was like protecting the indian guy you know doing the hippogriff the folk away and get the fuck he was it was so caricature because he was like a caricature of an indian gas station owner but he exactly and indian simpson visit gas station that i go to is it's run by indians and they even have like a fuckin ohm sign on the door it's like the peaceful gas station isis people they're all indians at work there and they super cool people take sometimes be a table like i'm doing a show and they hang on every word polite and i point everybody else why can't you be like as i say to the rest of the audience look at this indian table with manners and the indians in general very interesting people because they have a cat system that they don't did they have rich
people like extremely rich people that just with extremely poor people with no problems it's really weird like there's but the thing is there all andy and that's the key to that is that the key oh there's too much integration there there is a non issue this is extremely wealthy guy and indeed he has is palace and surrounding his palaces like other slums and ghetto and he's like it got a golden palace and his name is aziz ansari how trussell peters lazy gentlemen oh russell pepper gone there's a bigger guy i forgot about the biggest russell russell is the biggest indian was one of the biggest comedians in the world he's also one of the biggest nice guy he is a sweetheart torontos at the festival he takes us all blue jays game and he threw out the first pitch is i'm sure yeah he should've been nicer man russell peters is living the god damn dream have really this season one of the greatest guys i've ever met my life i love him and
i really i don't know aziz i see i used to see him at the comedy cellar but i don't think he's a fan of my depression but he seems like your left i have zero problem i've always said hi to him i will get along with them but other people have issues with them but i never know what that issue is you know it's hard you know when she was someone's issues with someone you like ok are you jealous are you a dick do you think you more than he deserved it's always you know it's hard to tell because the knock some people are they like like someone said this to i don't i don't agree with it this is what they said they were like you know all the only reason why diseases famous at all is 'cause he's indian he's not funny now and i was like well that can't that doesn't make any sense yeah that doesn't make any sense so i we fucking hard hard worker because i was up at albany and i was we can uh tommy nikki having his name that runs others albany club and he disease came up he was tightening up like an arena you know and he did
and one night he did five hundred and forty five minute sets iba we work today at the comedy store which and he's a when i did three shows in a row back to back three shows in a row and he's got his notes out and he's working on material follow anybody yeah yeah good i noticed this thing that happens when someone becomes famous where instead of people like if you don't even if you don't get it there's a lot of people that i don't get i don't think they're famous but i don't talk shit about now i don't care i have to when we were younger like i'm much better now when you're younger when you get his business he likewise he make it and i'm not putting a mac but then when you see how hard it is and you gotta put the work in regard is like you said these comics you might not like what they do as you get older you can appreciate what it took to of course yeah yeah they speak of alameda surviving get do you know if you know what's going on i know my god point i'm like bernie sanders he's writing a letter saying we have to deal with it's called income inequality
i think this thing is right there was in the bathroom i saw hillarys balls she's got big balls black lives matter and i tried help him with that that's why he lost he couldn't get the black thought i said change your first name to colonel the fuck it's right in front of you nothing herein how can one heals comments that you're talking about delicious food and that's racist is this show that big we worry about offending sponsors not in my basement by myself and everyone's ears are fine don't they see that all right now this is not a single thing we can throw at him although match dot com plugin or they were one and done with me i was like my everybody wants to fuck
they cut me off after what add do people like lydia i'm like looking really who doesn't like to fuck my lion i'm trying to get you guys some money i'm fifty card you don't have anymore place i got the hips of fucking seventy year old soccer player and we can get you to yoga class get you some fucking kettle bell start up and doing some swing i know which is why lips before let me again do you know george lopez yes never met him fucking lie yeah love is comedy i i just i can't believe i haven't run into him somewhere he could do i i he seems like a call me up after the crossman see a thing yeah this is his first words are as well my mother see i know it i know that i know i would like it look i know he's not crazy about whitey but he does it so funny going after house off white people are in shit he's he's he's a true to me fun comic man he seems like we will have a funny guy off stage he's
yeah yeah and i never fucking met him i just i thought i run into him somewhere but i guess it's not surprising adam you'd love him while my speech see that thing where he got in trouble yeah what you tune out the girl yeah with me every night for the last forty years no he said what he said was funny he says he goes latinos we have two rules don't park it from my house and don't marry i mean it's but she's just being funny and some lady stats up and starts yelling and she black i don't know yeah you know why you don't know they wouldn't mention it on tmz you might want to put that in the fucking article it's only part of the store couldn't tell i'm saying yes you think so
maybe she's my hand jack could be she's like enough well you know you're right it could be a white led but i'm guessing i was just got in the way he said and but but but it's not gonna hurt his career no it's going to help his career exactly you would get more trouble likely tracy morgan said if i have a baby was gay and kill it yeah that day even though it's not a he said i'd stabbed a little that was not a factor in the past my buddies were killed yeah but he's he's fucking hilarious but my point being he got he got in a little hot water for about a day and a half well you actually had to apologize he had pollen ok fine but but that was you or somebody your level of fame and you're white you're bald automatic you'd be fucking voted
yeah i guess so man i just i feel like you know so there has to be a line when you realize that someone is just fucking around there has to be a lot like whatever happened to just fucking around if you want to kill just fucking lebron and his fucking followers i'm not asking to many nobody knows where he is instead is heidemann he's underneath the fucking damn trying to fix it would crazy glue that's true nobody has seen him lately is apparently he's old as fuck man when you that old you're going to some days we can go outside left your days right you shit in your pants you got problems hip doesn't work but i saw him like i'd say last summer right i'd say months ago make it it he seemed like the idiot that he always has been i literally have not see nothing from him since he's been governor not a thing you nothing i don't know nothing ok you get kettle bells you get fucking family i see that fat fuck from new jersey all the time but he disappear
for a few months in new york they were asking where he was going to kill him i mean that guy he there are some real shit that happened we close that bridge they closed at bridge some people like we're supposed to go to the hospital couldn't make it to the hospital mean there's less ds parents probably if somebody in that no i'm just saying stuff chair from bergen here in north bergen well he's he's going to be in hot water for years for that he'll never escape that and that's one of the reasons why trump pulled him from the fucking cabinet and now he's criticizing trump it's kind of interesting hi christy i never he seemed like a i loved it like ice are clipped him telling some woman at a town hall sit down and shut up some you know in about a union and just like him that's nice when your local you can do not shop local exactly but i'm saying but he still seemed kind of whiny to me and then i saw in the yu god jesus h christ gaunt his lower pussy area was like sticking out there's no way that guy seen his dick no way now i think his wife can see it from where she said that i'm going to
defensive mister gray said he looked like an ice cream cone it started that gummy fucking he looks like one of those things that use for pastries to write happy birthday and three bags squeeze it yes yeah look at that what the fuck did he know what he looks like he's definitely not worn that thing here even better in a hoop skirt look he would look this poor bastard is an addict that is a food addict that is one hundred percent look at the one above it go to the one above it jamie the one which shows his pussy area look at that what in the is going on there what was your holy christ looks like that looks like hillary's pant soup that was god damn insane that is a god damn insane posed to you should never put your hand on your hip like that if you look like just don't stand like that you should stand like a sumo wrestler at all times you have a wide stance should never let your legs rub together you should be standing ready to shoot a blast double on p don't you have advisers can you turn can you turn my thing up do you control my volume dry over here i can't so there we go right there testing
wanted right there that's good yeah yeah was on way low he gotta flynn though even if he was skinny and would drop peggy even if you were skinny i have like a horrible well he doesn't have the best genetics but more important than that well who knows he has the best genetic because i looked it up by he's got a phone i looked it up on the genealogy site his mother was a malibu in sicily and i'm going to be running their looks like kevin james there i could get that fucking guy in shape i swear to god i swear to you all i have to do is get him off the sugar would take awhile but he's addicted to sugar now he lives on salads they said no dressing or any picture is a picture of him at the game and he's got a little bag of eminem's or large bag of mm's and he's part pour in the little bag of eminems into the large bag of eminem look at that i'm not joking look at that see you but there is him with the fundamental bastard he's a sugar addict see you is porn it in there which means little wanted to the big one you're not fat at all no happy time i'm just saying i don't like sugar but i can't i was hoping to get a boy
so i close lose this last twenty thursday that's what happened i do you blood for eighteen months just that don't need at night we talked about this before the podcast don't do that i when i heard you say that almost fainted because i've been saying that to my wife i said the only time i've ever lost weight my life because when i go to bed hungry it's not just that you lose weight your body actually produces more dense muscle cell or more lean muscle yeah when he has a one uses a burning fat well he's left me but it's right so your body has more time to rebuild your tissue recover better it's not just illegal going to get hungry thing is actually good for you just don't the idea this is doctor slippery said this you can i can't i feel like a little african kid will need to fucking sandwich just you need edibles take a readable i'm never doing that again this is why i love you though joe because last time i was here i go uh i said yeah i mean i brought the thought about i'm the i'm like i wanna take storage at this age i'm sick organ out now i've said that about two
people and they're all like why would you do that you're going to fucking big kitty at fifty five you looked amigo why wouldn't you do it fuck it they were is it reason weather banded words you didn't even hesitate you go why wouldn't you with a puzzled look on your face whenever someone tells me well boom you know at fifty five years of age you really think it's a good idea to take steroids yes that's the perfect time and it was dying well also you only have like twenty years left anyway what are you going to do i don't say it like that that's true what do you no come back by five hundred and eighty oh my god i only have fifteen years of looking like fucking sylvester stallone in rocky four yeah you pulled up a picture of him and i said that i said that's going to be from thirty years ago you like now from last wednesday he is seven years old he read it hi how does he not find me the doctor i'll pay fucking good money get your doctor
well testosterone where did you meet with the fuck an original robot these are the belly room joey diaz cousin he was doing a set up stairs i got a guy you got a meeting with the dark stever fake mustache doctor benny boom patch well faster replacement and hormone replacement therapy is there's a real science to it the idea is you don't take too much you take what you would have in your body if you were younger man that's what you do he's like well you're not a younger man anymore the like just want you to wither away and die he so you've you've jeugd i take testosterone replacement therapy i've done it for almost ten years what we know one of the forty nine yeah thirty nine started when i was like thirty nine three thousand seven hundred and thirty eight i start robin this on me which was not effective was that the clear
the card number mcguire was using a photographic i take i take mild stuff i rubbed on my dog here's the thing about the stuff that like barry bonds takes an all bodybuilders take like there taking like hyper human levels i don't fuck with anything like that what i do is i take what i would have in my body naturally when i was like twenty seven that's what i think so that that is healthy and that does almost no there's a but if you have a bad heart if you're an older person and you start jacking your body up with testosterone doing crazy workouts your body is not ready for it but also that could be conditioning issue there's a lot of factors involved in something like that when p we'll go from being sedentary in at a shape to all the sudden being young levels of test them in and you're going to get shot yeah so that's when you factor in those situations with people that have like pretty significant heart issues after taking testosterone therapy according to my doctor that's what they're dealing with is a like you can't you have to judge each one of 'em on an individual basis and he's also
you have to get your blood work done you have to be really matich ulus about plus i get my blood work done every couple of months but not just for testosterone not just for actually growth but also yeah for bad stuff and also for nutrient levels i want to make sure like i found out that i need more niacin to my system i found out i need more vitamin b i'm down vitamin d3d3 is a big one huge it's very important it's very important for for muscle is very important for the way your brain works it's also works in symbiosis with a bunch of other nutrients you have to have your nutrient levels tested you can't just go i feel pretty good you might feel pretty good but there might be there might be some shortcomings in your your diet or your your sanitation i i i you know i when i play by play ball up it may in college back in the 80s and they were all juicing and i get a lot of teammates who are one guy who saw in like a convalescent home i mean they will not going crazy with the shit in convalescent home now fifty five he was that he yeah oh my god
pocket and and and and another one of these two other guys another have kidney problems from it and but they were they were muscular we were college age kids and they're and they would you said you that's the whole line was jewish and if you want be a pro athlete back then the fucking jose canseco days you kind of had to those guys call gorilla so absolutely even at main i go holy these guys was so mean the line and i love them i hang out with them like when they were not drinking and shit but when they would get drunk and they were like oh this isn't main commercial goes on a university of miami or all these football fact is usc give me imagine this was main one aa football and i'm like these guys are fucking crazy well that's what gets you and i love the depth in that book what gets us ahead in this board were mean as far as like that shit we crack jokes on think about the shit that we say when you and i get together when you start fucking around now i do observation ull shit like david brenner ever notice when a stock closing the dryer
it doesn't breathe in and then you breathe out where to go are you doing smith worth song go these two socks now there's one where to go hicks you stiff member did a bit of make yeah jerry yeah yeah well when he was in the car bulls when you think about how we talk more fucking like because for us that's what gets us that is saying shit that makes us go oh jesus christ like you'll say some things when you're around me that i'm sure you probably wouldn't say if you're around other people and i would do the same you know that's my problem i say it everywhere that's how football players are that's why i'm in my basement yeah i know at that age you're right actually right fighters like that two fighters elect this is the same way i had a buddy mine my friend mike blight from south boston and he was he was very humble looking like used to wear glasses and but he's a sucker always just psycho as they come any war is a very very smart guy and he wore like a golf shirt and he used to
like a polo shirt so he looked like a fucking dork had his shirt tucked in his pants was built the whole deal and he worked at the remember that yes yeah yeah well he was a bouncer there and people would give him a hard time the way looked sure just waiting for someone to say something stupid so could rearrange their face and just what he's a pro boxer he was also but he was almost certain i'm up i wear and a shirt setting a trap like it might be quite dark he was a straight up psycho and he would he would he would wait for someone to get outta line and do something to him push him grab a shirt and then next email cook crack doozer flatline spasm ing going into seizures yeah this i had this kid danny one says that but the in these l for these guys from the cape they were they put you know they played football okay keep in high school and they were but this one the danny mcclung used to big fucking hear these dead dead eyes those those pale blue eyes you know they sad sat down and
he got drunk i mean they he was like clint eastwood in unforgiven are right now when you get drunk it's william money we hit where your money women and children we we have two dogs and i'm returning a little too little dogs a white when a black you throw in a punch bowl that's really model white one was right now i did heard him but i'm just saying they're going to say wood chipper and then hit start beating up men women you know whoever looked at him wrong yeah there's guys like that a few other lineman i should have singled him out he's actually people feed off each other that's why mob mentalities work the reason why the mob mentality exists because someone sees someone doing something crazy and the other people get crazy too and here's the thing we need to recognize right now it's going on like uc berkeley that is mob mentality that is not that's not justice it's not rational it's not a real fucking protest that is a god damn mob and they're rioting and they're wrong they're wrong
guy all he wants to do is talk if someone wants to talk and what you want to do is like the fucking campus on fire and throw a fucking chair through a plate glass window at starbucks that is among mentality and it's the same god damn thing and now like that but all your doing is pumping him up it's just rice an effect you keep him from fucking proto you keep him from speaking you make him bigger he's going to be even larger now because of that and you just showing everybody what you really need is meeting you lost the battle of ideas when you do that is that when it gets physical battle of ideas calling everybody is not listen i'm saying this nazi thing is fucking crazy where everybody calls everybody and not see we're talking about the sarah silverman thing before the podcast i don't know if she joking around or not but she put on her twin there is this like a nazi who doesn't know how to make a swastika and everybody just tore apart because everybody want call everybody and not see today and those symbols on the ground it's what p
do when they're surveyors and they want to mark where the power is or the gas lines are they have specific lines so that like it's just specific colors for electricity a different color for gas line and she's like oh looked as she said this wants to get you out of anything it's like what the is going on everybody calling everybody and not see well that's like an old ploy from the left i'm fifty five i mean every republican never ran since i've been you know it was always label the nazi and maybe you know see this is the line walking to get coffee saw these all over sidewalk in tournament is an attempt at swastikas tynan nazis not have google she just had a combination of she's being silly she means so i hope you guys are settling both you could take it either one it's a construction are better innocent mistake for a jew the gets burnt in an oven what at least weekly on twitter still pretty close though oh ok now it's the wrong way and in a
this with a line in it looks like swansons dinners wow what a man the joke a dyslexic to the dyslexic interment can draw this you know something of that well i don't know she's got big innocent mistake she says well it's it's so we get the burden of in a twitter so she's because of the does the people set her on twitter she saying that's why she's doing it because i had i i like she lost me on the the other thing i think which is trying to do is take some of the blame away from her for putting something ridiculous on twitter and by saying that people tell her to get enough and because she's a jew and this is what should some kind of no this thing that everybody saying punch have you seen this lightly wish punch are like what they tell you know inside was a they they have can anybody who doesn't think like that was also who is somebody who doesn't think like a fucking left these are not see it's very crazy it's very it's a very crazy thing we've got going on now because by calling someone a nazi you can immediately hit them yeah it's it's it's way out of wack
is really weird i had a fucking wack i'm hoping it settles down but i don't think it's gonna i feel like this trump thing is just going to ramp up because he keeps doing stupid shit like the ways agreeing with the supreme court see you in court like what court which court they just you in court you just lost in court going to see him in court again like what well you could go to jail yeah now okay even other court yeah i i'm i might decide on that i understand why tweets because fuck that media is just ridiculously unfair to him so but but he does it too much you know i mean wait for big things and and but you know yeah you don't have to be how do you feel like doing fair to him like what do you think is unfair i know i should have said that no i'm just asking just what are you kidding me it's like what give me the way they talk about him like how so what did i see this morning oh he had a meeting down at mira largo he was down there his place in florida and they were talking about i guess they were talking about russia at the table and the headlines on cnn he
discussing military secrets in public you know at my what's it called trump turn on laura lago club tampa near situation and i mean everything he does joe usually get a new president get a fuck at honeymoon this guys but for attack it it's just ridiculous well i mean everything he says they fucking go after him but i may think that he is also instigating a lot of this but like when he pointed out from cnn said you're fake news that was refreshing to me well i've been saying that since one thousand nine hundred and eighty eight before i even follow politics i go does anybody watch this fucking network and see how fucking stupid it is i mean they have blatantly fucking left wing well there blankly left wing fox is blatantly right when i switch back and forth you don't get boxes please they get you get both and i love having this argument is everybody says that to me i go or do you watch fox are going i wouldn't it's too stupid but how the fuck do you know you get both these people at fox who hate trump now i spend time over i know who
this uh this guys under on the day of work and shepard smith fucking hate some who else there's a woman who shepard smith an interesting character to see admit he's gay i keep telling him but he won't admit it you look beautiful he attacked me falls gay what he attacked me him in hemet judging joes like it really isn't for what nikki president what they did in the judge did i know man he wants come on the podcast i gotta get that guy on qwerty about what a badass is something called the strategy room years ago said no there was a streaming show on fox what did you do wrong i showed up be honest that we're talking about the elections and i go well the media was in the tank for obama and shepard smith we just met him he's sitting there and they fucking tt tell me a good it's probably so he goes sure it's so typical
the other type of guy you could tell he hated he must have known me from like tough crowd or whatever and hated my politics you could tell it was something before i adam whenever goes you have to blame everything you have to blame that i did to blame everybody he went off like a fucking fight and for once in my life i showed a sat there like it like like a mature because he's making an ass of himself so you let him yeah wow would you get that restraint i don't know that day that day is there just for that five minutes i've never had it again or since i was in the tank i was too lazy to fight back no i was in a far i'm in the fox building i was trying to show some respect but you could tell he he since ask me like to come on a show so you haven't no i couldn't going to i was on the road is something he wanted but i don't hold it against anybody because i fly off the all the time but of course it came out of i could tell he must
and all my comedy and didn't like it but i was homophobic or whatever the fuck me yeah probably that you know i mean yeah so we went with the right wing thing yeah well he said the other type of person has to blue i mean people i don't know what the them at i'm a big fan of blaming people special is some thing actually put that to him it's all good i made stupid nine now but what's the land if you don't blame them but yeah i mean if they don't if you don't blame me just keep watching me the only people my mother always used to say to me you don't let anything go and i go i still don't at this age of eight year old girl fucked in gives me lip and i think she's wrong i'll tell you why you know why teaching mom that wants president got a let him know otherwise i don't know it's a learning moment think of it like that if the you don't let him know you know what happens you get spoiled kings and that's what is oil kings that's the name of my next cd that's a good idea baby
that someone is when they just anyone can tell them anything i mean that's why i always say about like super rich celebrities you always hear that about people that are untouchable they don't speak when men streep got in front of all those people and was given that speech you know and she was going off that is someone that never has anyone talking to her and correcting her and telling her how ridiculous well that's like that's ninety percent of hollywood exactly especially really famous people like when you get into that tom cruise realm where they just don't communicate with anybody that's the that's the that's not a good sign a good thing so good thank you no one called you out on your shit yeah you mean fucking tom cruise is sous chef might not be republican tom cruise is sous chef is from fucking planet feet and for sure that's uh i learn that from leah remini everybody around that guys a scientologist everyone and i did the giovanni ribisi is a scientologist so now i see that ad for his new show and like look at that crazy fuck who is i still think giovanni
he's here he's been in shit load of movies very good actor but he's amazon things sneaky pete there is that guy scientology as fuck that must acted like she just click that i was that one yeah look at that that's a look what the hell ladies imagine that look showing down in your box yeah these are scientologist it looks it it says it is amazing that there still people in that imei anna is only ten thousand people corner leah remini how many but it's been quite how many at its whole fuckload fuck load i have so much money though what's incredible is those people have i need so much money they like the number two real estate holders in los angeles that's what i've they're all over the still like fucking starbucks a lot of cash there miscavage there a good group to have behind you
there behind you like if you're a scientologist and you're also looking actor or something like that and then they'll fuck and insulate you could you ask her that that's what i wanted to ask her if i have a matter because you had a lot of success while you were doing that like a profession as an actor did you attribute it to do you think scientology help you she definitely did at one point time yeah i think what what do you think about like the work that's involved like she was telling me that every day that have to do two one slash two hours worth of work every day you're con only working on it and constantly like reading the stuff and going over things i say anytime you have that kind of discipline that true it's over to other things i mean like how can you like what you have so much discipline like with comedy or with all the deadly coming right works art because i had to with fighting with fight if you don't have just dealing with fighting you get fucked up that's just the way it is you get your shit sports is good sports are very good so young kids ok what i want to have gym class it's unfair shut the fuck up if you don't i know a comic wants his name but he's been pretty open about it but one of
reasons why is fucked up as an adult 'cause his parents didn't encourage him to do anything competitive when he was young toddler mark meron didn't didn't learn how to lose yay that seems like it seems like half the fucking democrats now yeah that are freaking out that trump one like that any of these people play sports seriously i think there's a lot of people are freaking out a trump one because this guy is first of all is not using the secret service uses on security people tweeting as big a problem that's got a black but he's got a android phone that someone could easily hack into he's he's a maniac i mean this is basically running things his way like he does a business and you the country is it vision
this is a corporation that's all i've been hearing from the lab since i was ten years old now you get a businessman there was less because of rapidly you're eating would over there he's going crazy trying to beaver's i have sexual assault at this coffee i'd run stir i drank caveman coffee drink fucking almost all of this and i gotta get on a plane in a couple hours going to be shitting blood you see that you're going to be very creative on that plane i hope you brought a laptop you're going to have some thoughts i have a cult bring book and what else am ro shack prints from my childhood right in your phone i gotta get a new you gotta take that can check my had with you i'll give you a pen going to write some grey jokes on way home do you know but you mention that earlier you right when you fucking high all the time yeah yeah almost no what's good for sober i write sober i do everything sober in high i do both i take a couple excedrin pm right right and that's why i've slowed down as far as productive now
you say something fucking yeah well i think i gotta believe steven wright used to write like that right i don't think he did know i think he's just a really bright guy you know steve right stuff is almost like two obscured or right when you're high i used work in a fire hydrant plant couldn't anywhere near the place he meet him hung out for a week doing horison pete louise oh yeah i think he did so mean steven became like asshole buddies for that week everything out of my mouth he fucking belly wrapping it in same here and then louis had alan all the saying all this racist shit as this racist old bartender i mean dropping the n bomb and shit did you ever seen ever saw horace and pete is it only online on louise website or is it somewhere else no i don't that's a great question it's kind of it's going to end up i gotta big is gonna end up on netflix and shit like i felt like i'm just going to wait but he
had he had he had a woman one of the characters had tourette's and and should yellow like fucking edward and shit now i'm not fucking you know i can't even save it on your podcast there but mean steven would look at each other you know he said at the end of the bar and i'd see his shoulders drying out the left 'cause allen how old is the and warhawk i ps is like being this racist and louis this girl that supposed to have threats in the show saying the most famous shit you have ever heard and me steven india comics within comics our whole lives do you think you'd be jaded at that but only louis could come up with shit so outrageous but to see it coming out of hockey pierces mode on liberal from the west side was making me hard solarian steven was crying it put his head down you know they would fuck that is fucking hilarious yeah now with someone he do did he do horace and pete with like real people and then animated over the real peoples and how we did it no he shot it he shot it like a a play
so it's not an animated no no joke into the impose an animation please watch it you'll love it this is how we describe that one of the interviews 'cause it's like really dark and kind of he goes kind of depressing and she goes it's like the show cheers if everybody had cancer around the bar it turns you will elite it up ok first of all you from the same hometown right is louis yeah oh fuck and eat it up it's it's i think it's the best he's ever done really he said that oh why did he let go broke making it he well he wouldn't really know exactly is whatever you have laying around he went on stern to explain those people going logan fucking broke and he went it's turn out one of these radio shows that he went out he goes every every action company when they don't production is in the red he goes out vote or for free months and i'll make my money back but yeah he spent a ton of his own money yeah
that's what you saw ball z of him not so funny when people say that louis ck's broker lucy do is one show and he's not broke anymore you understand that who do madison square garden make more than you do in ten years like what are you just one hour he makes like years and years of salary like stop he's not broke now exactly you need to shut up i'm telling you or an all the stud coming one thing he's ever done that i don't like he's so he come over my house this is before he did horace and pete's the comedy cellar goes give me a ride home so he goes any show that i'm working on the eagles read this and i read some fucking shit and then a week later you guys come to my house tomorrow for lunch i i i i a ring the doorbell alan alda opens the door i'm like what the what do you live i don't exactly he's like gives eggs address he's a two hundred and eleven bleecker st apt 3c four floor at a red dang dong around you know he lives in a little bit and bugging you know a half mile but comedy cellar somewhere he just bought another
so he's got a lot of moves around but i so i see alan all the answers the door i i go in the kitchen steve buscemi's in the kitchen i mean all these and then you know who eat off edie falco rings the doorbell like five minutes later and what's amanda show nurse yes jackie she get kind of mad at me because i go i went up there i said i go you are one of the best actors of of you know i got i'm still hung up on the support i go i still watch the sopranos like on a loop she goes that's too bad if you like what to expect because you know actress famous people that if you don't know the latest work they get kind of bent out of shadow really she bent out of shape little bit that's how i read it just takes yourself siri when i said i was joking around just like this fucking asshole i saw shepard smith tear you a new asshole she loved me know she was she fucking loved she was working with ferrara member and was on the news yes and she she's a she was great i had a little in a line or two with her she's a bartender
but you gotta to watch it just to see the woman with tourettes should be right now more like a serious conversation lick my pussy you fucking asshole well and i look over to steven right he's trying to put his head down and i supposed to be and then louie louie would be behind the bar and some scene bartending and like lights i'll be having a chat with some other actors in the scene had come over me like a little piece of paper he draws shit like big dick anderson i mean is that correct answer me he hands me the note and it says we used to do the knotty pine for seventy five dollars to remember the gig in quincy called the naughty yeah i do remember that good he hands me that and i i turned it off i wrote back ago i'm doing it next week for one hundred and twenty five is at a very cat skiing yes it was a very casual it was like a dance floor those are the bring you on the ball spinning and they'd go ok get off the dance when we got a comedian coming up did you get in a fist white one of those places i guess there was nothing so is this fight into actual comedy clubs two
actual comedy class giggles in seattle and giggles anbassa what you're really out of my account anymore right that was like a real wasn't like a real christian room or something like that you had to be clean now now now he hit me people in a headlock if you want a little bit yeah two two different incidence and with my act i was talking about with a with a woman who runs a club in chicago i got only been like i've only had two altercations and she goes that's it with that act i go exactly i go i'd say that's pretty damn good that is pretty good brought my hands in both though i have left hands punching people faces insteon i mean they fucking know punching back joe don't act like it's a throw elbows very difficult to break you i know you have to teach me i'll show you get the shoulders of one hundred year old man you know didn't have like yet serious surgery reconstruction about them does it feel good now the filler and they never bother me i went on to play i was supposed to be after high school the guy did him right up to high school and they told me you should really go play and i went up to maine and played football and if the guy did such a good
and i still remember the name lyle mckay lee he still gives each is about that he's going to be in a 70s now wow and he did such a great job of putting my shoulders back together that i played a couple of years in college and they're fine and uh i don't even have pain like when i wake up tomorrow i'm sure that's going to change in a week but do you do exercise with them yeah well i you know i work out but for exercises specifically for shoulders i just started now and within the last few years that shoulder injuries but one best ones ever is kettlebells only i think joe kettlebells i think you show me the rest i don't think this is not one that i've recently gotten into the it's at one hundred and twenty pounds not is only forty but you do bottoms up meaning you hold it like this so you have to be and like a man of it very gay muscles oh yeah and that will like constantly adjust sing and move and that lands on your nose no it's all good for your grip too so you work on those an well you know it's good
for me for i used to laugh at people that use the you know what those means those fly size yeah yeah those are good but it's a good it's good for yeah it i mean i never used to do specific shoulder exercise i did everything in the shoulders got worked well i was doing all those things but i never did specific shoulder exercises until i had a shoulder injury i started doing a lot of rotation exercises all these different things to build up the rotator cuff and stuff yeah right after the sure i did a ton of it you gotta do that this guy was so good lyle mikaeli i went to a doctor a couple years ago in new york in westchester county where i live 'cause i was one problem i wrote it and he goes boy what's with the scars i go ahead something called the bankart procedure back in the 80s and and i i got a guy named lyle mckay lee that he goes i'll be damned he goes i went to a convention up in harvard doctors convention he was speaking about shoulder by injuries
yeah so he was the patriots sky back then and god bless my parents are finally a decent doctor and yeah he did a great fucking job i can't after i had i'm done i couldn't bench heavy anymore and sure and i mean a stuff behind my neck is is a lot of people don't believe invention have anyway that i don't i haven't had a just a fun to shoulders of course that's that's how i originally them up yeah especially back in the eighties nobody know about warming up and stretching i was like benching with alignment what happens is you still growing at that point you are a big fuck when i first met you when i first met you one of it was very encouraging to me because i had always thought that to be a comic you had to be out of shape and goofy looking and i always felt they hate us yeah i felt like i didn't belong and i shouldn't do onstage killing and i was like how would be ok but you know what they fucking
nothing has changed a barren even admitted it to me like wanted his podcasts he was saying like i was frustrated you shouldn't you shouldn't be doing this this is our thing and i was like well that's crazy that was mentality and it's like what are you talking about what does that got to do with being funny i love this idea you have to have low self esteem shitty parents a shitty upbringing to you have to punch up i think it's can you punch down will that put money than punching a little kid in the back of the head this definitely that's funny funnier than that i would never getting kids you're healthier punching other people killed kids i mean kids at it you know irish kids but the punch in like i had an argument with that we can just professor who is a wrote a book on common remember that guy turn corey he discussed name he wrote a book on on companies like well punching up is always always funnier and i'm like ok ok it's not true that's not true sam kinison's bit about starving kids in africa is one of the greatest bits of all time and it's as punching sound is you ever can get 'cause it's so fucked up ulis
until you know who jesus i can't believe you saying is when your fucking crying laughing funny is funny well you equated you know sports and comedy like you said football and fighting and i'm going to fight i throw up down sideways every hang right in a lot of ways yeah yeah they come from just come from everywhere exactly that's why this whole thing about punching down is so fucking stupid or the idea that you have to be a dork in order to be funny some of funniest people i've ever met were savages like that's where i to do comedy is in the gym now guys that's the reason why i got into stand up in the first place is i would make people laugh we were on a bus on the way to tournaments it was like gallows humor you go everybody was scared and i would be the guy who is making everybody laugh they were also savages yeah those guys are i'm at the linemen that took the falcons there there was some of the funniest how the as i have ever met in my life i'm not dumb jock funny they i mean they would have to come up with clever and but you that was the mentality like kevin flynn i remember
soccer player umass use like a real good sock religious soccer player right and and and spoke he used to talk about his him mma came together at the boston scene he was another one yeah i was there and they hated us jeanine i tell and i love gene i still do get the first night met jeanine it was a fucking open mic i've been in the about wait my ten months maybe it was that stitches i walk in she sitting in like the little box office she goes nice acid wash jeans and they weren't they were faded from who are actually faded they were fairly she was nice acid watch jeans and i i've never met before i go nice i got nice boats where they going clamming lady at cunt that's how i met janine garafalo and it didn't even phase or which made me like her number one she don't even fuck then she kind of like smirked and and then um people even now my friends don't believe that you got how do you like her comedy and shit i watched it stitches going on after steve sweeney you know the whole boys club and i did
young comedian special she always had a her own pov and shit you know it not uh but my friends always never believed that that you like i don't think she's funny well we used to play softball with her she said you really yeah she used to be on that comedian softball thing i used to meet on mondays where in new york now in boston yeah dave ross was in it yeah a lot people some good app play janine david cross brian fraser you ever brian fraser he was another one what happened to him joe how you think is writing now he was another one that guy was giant he was fucking built like brick shit at one time he went on stage with a shirt on like a golf shirt after i've got him off to go dude you can draw like that i could look i'm your friend and i can't stop staring at your arms like you can't you can't dress like that 'cause he is bodybuilder at one point i think are really big
absolutely right and who else there another o'brien kylie becomes a fucking feel free to visit gorilla and he's like a really cerebral right yeah so yeah that hold myth of they do resent you and i still feel like an outsider in this business i still got a couple of friends now if i can play outside or at all well you know colin quinn is like you know we're on the on every night driving my closest and and louis but they're not have much in common with them outside of outside of the show so you can go to u c b i have just to ruin their night go in and i blow it up i go follow that gotelee fuck another yoga story with two punch lines every thirty minutes well go there and not get paid do about that stupid fucks to allow these people to create an empire with not paying my millions that is so disgusting duncan trussell had a whole bit about it like it's like what if you done like you decide
to do with this one thing this one price where of the cerebral people go you make all the money that's not very cerebral right it seems pretty still right how they do the how to get away with that i don't know i don't understand it people there's always people who don't want to be in in the arts they'll worked enough and they also want to be able to change in the inside they want to be on the inside yeah i never felt that way they want to be in the click going to go there to be in click like like patton oswalt who i he came out tough crowd and he almost insinuated that i was like a dick joke special this up even called we like what we you're a dick fucking yeah i made a joke on that episode black dick joke or something and he kind of implied that's what i do with something and like being call and turned on him and
i can't and i never i i always thought he's kind of over rated as a stand but i've really grown to love his stand out a stamp very good yeah he's he's a great right buddies a nerdy who we have nothing in common and sometimes when i like people like that they don't necessarily i think they like more is so cool tolerant crowd is less taller than i am it's true it is true did you mean tower people would consider themselves to be progressive people are often times variant he's not patens actually he's a good dude on twitter and you know and so you know we've actually but yeah i i still feel i don't watch movies i hate with the political correctness weather i haven't you know big bang theory and shit like what am i doing you know his wife died from that fucking fentanyl show she's another one positive that god damn fenton all the same shit that killed prince same shit that
old body is is that what the autopsy stance yes yeah was a combination of things offense and i was in the mix as he said not enough too long ago he said he thought it like an axe hello yeah right like in horrible man sentinel is supposedly hundreds of times hundreds of thousands of times stronger some was explaining it in the day st stronger than than regular opiates i've been on xanax yeah it was a more sterilizer a horse tranquilizer that's not good yeah it's fucking terrifying terrifying shit that stuff they did i did that oxy kinds are killing people quick enough so they they came up with this stuff and if you up one way or the other with that sentinel just a slight overdose i'm a plus drugs i'm a put that fence all should is tear find it's killing people like crazy do you like your mushrooms and share right yourself without stuffs no i don't know this yet i would never go back in the snow would never do that to try and you should do it definitely
discover it are you kidding me after i just told you the edible story i might as well been doing mushrooms kills the ego it's good for you it kills what do you transfer along who's good to step outside south sea we all my ego and i come back come back are you saying like gives you the also now she'll go crazy so should our pants so yeah be terrible should be like that bath tub girl here see the bath tub drug known to the one japanese lady with her asshole in the air shit spraying up in the air and hit her in the face now that was margaret cho's life specials that we came my guys quickly at all fuckin la faggots how will see some pc said i said how dare you how dare i say faggot all the time and i will continue safe meg please call i said that on stage and i i've faggot but i think we actually had a better bottom i've called everybody but a gay person a faggot my brother you know fucking louis word
yeah it's a good word and i said that on on mass thing i did ron bennington he goes so you think that makes it right now but yeah ron bennington was trying to progressive you how dare he your whole show is welcome he's a good dude hell show isn't not his whole ron bearing his whole show is what breaking down is still these silly is there really hard running is a lesson that much fun china love him he's smart and funny i don't hear it anymore i don't have serious anymore i stopped with the are you really say about it because i'm gonna do i'm i might get a show on i'll get it off bit torrent yeah that's i i even know about that bit aren't you find that someone put it online i think get in your car when he ate car and you go into a fucking tunnel it doesn't work i've refused to support that chris christie but the but i think it's fucking stupid i think it's too the things satellite is stupid i think in i think you live in the dark ages 'cause i go through the tongue
the titles in jersey now you can list the radio out already internal regular radio not satellite and i'll yeah they have ready radio signals have transmitters in the title i have a feeling you're absolutely right yeah satellite doesn't work the wonderful can you get each going to get the signal in la you go under a bridge like an overpass it doesn't work fuck you so that means some could be talking about some important shit i have to stop traffic and i feel like hold on did you meet people b but happen like i don't want to cut out i see the red light i've done that a poll that i've been pulling into my garage and i'll hit you wanna somebody alike louis or whatever and a pack up my i back out of my garage that's his attack no yeah no i agree hey would you angus commercials too we're gonna have strings on our roof to go directly to the fucking transmitter i know we're going to help the water we have wired cars have wires are crisscrossing each other fucking stupid stupid technology they won't take the job now internet the internet is a way to go goddamnit well you
yeah you want to other people have figured it out that's not true there's a lot of people figured it out so we d it's millions of downloads a month now because you know because at him 'cause he's fucking fire you know back when i know it's funny i'm just saying that you started a bath right the same for you didn't have to do the same for you know well we could help you come sit down rub my back yeah he don't seem like they have some champagne with main promise role but make sure well that's why i came out here seriously i so i came out 'cause when by the way hit me up at nick follow on twitter and instagram and all that other faggy shit you people let's out faggy oh my goodness how sarah sure you fuck it inside children of the corn on my twitter you can find 'em but no but when i last time i did the show the i did it twice right
psalm before christ about it i get home i had like five hundred new followers like on twitter but i go what the fuck kind of rocket ship is he driving here well it's way crazier now 'cause the last time you here was a lot of year ago how long was it it's either a year to jamie knows he's got it in a folder called but whatever it is trips the number of downloads that we've had since then is like more than ten time and why is that job i don't know some things happen i think you're talented mother fucking thanks sweetie that's so nice july so i last year do i last year so here you actually two thousand and fifteen thank you i can't believe when the year came but i told you i'm going to come out every year at least once he anytime i was even thinking every six months or whatever tonight call me up you can come anytime you want you tell me that you all open the place for you but here's the thing and a year what came i'm going home i should be going out the jose and i couldn't get off the couch i go i can't fucking go to laguardia go through all it's hard to hard out there it's don't it is but
no i'm just saying the show was like i was saying that the queen on the phone a guy i go do you doing aerobics part guys like doing a tv show somebody you know so you got to call on a job i got told i can't afford to know and i love cone well coins he wouldn't come anywhere cheap he doesn't like you know he loves me i'm just saying i would have anything you see so show me i could plug that i guess you know what the problem is you won't shine on conan seven minutes the way you shine in a couple of hours there's a couple hours things what's up yeah cs point now for people listening smile you got cameras to yeah but a lot of people have listening way more people are listening and watching a form but you're right of forming an interview the python as opposed to a joe rogan doing uh i was supposed to seth meyers last week and it got cancelled because of the snow storms my flight got cancelled and i was going to do his show 'cause i really like i'm i think he does a great job using is funny isn't working anymore you fucking let these terms gone lefty god lefty what his first ten minutes make the daily show look like a fox news channel is but
and it makes sense what he saying you agree that sexy you're on team fucking right and i'm not teams up different though yeah i my team right the fuck you talking about your on team left i'm not you wouldn't be anyway ok yeah that's one issue that's one issue how about that i'm just glad you don't hunt i cook roasts but you're also a commentator also a hippie you do psychedelics happy and but how am i understand how my own team right you definitely fucking pro choice is funny approached god damage of this was going so well like i said in this business they consider conservative
i'm gay marriage either baby you fucking want to their fucking side of that's right keep don't put you stay over there i would like to watch an episode of chopped where is not a girl the crew cut in three rings it or knows what the hell is just food network show me jamie doesn't i'ma that died from the queer queer eye for the straight guy what's his name ted allen it's called shop does it all about salads no they get baskets at them getting it is actually it was actually good show for about a month until it became like a gay cause so every episode is a transgender guy go i'm going to take the ten thousand dollars get myself with pussy and i'm going to get my my uncle a pair tits and i'm sorry i put too much lemon anonymous i'm serious and i know ten i know ted i met him at a roast i like him i'm just saying when people talk
how you know everything's gate up on tv that show is a perfect example get up all my god and again that that that's not i'm not saying it's gate i'm just saying but but that show is what would people off you know i get it do you sorta yeah i know it's i mean it is sensitive to people that attack your own ideas like when people check in my hand someones like seth meyers attacking your ideas attacked my ideas making up a bunch of punkin realsoft jokes about trump he had one very good bit that he did recently where they were talking about the band the ban on immigrants and he's like when they were like no one is saying band it's not a band we've never used the word band and then it cuts to a clip a montage of trump and all the other sand band band which you could go to any politician it's just fucking cheap trickery but not as much as i used to like him but scan bc saddam down and said you gotta go fucking you gotta be there point man on this i think so i do i've never had a sad
i have been accused of being haven't been sat down i've never had a sat down and did i sat down yeah well never sat me down now no ones ever sat me down and said hey you gotta go this way that's never happen literally ever of course not 'cause you are mushrooms you lift weights they're not going to save people accused you eating elk you shoot an elk on the one hundred and one out of the back of the bow and arrow have going to tell you to do anything go but people cues you if you have an idea and you would you run with it because the accuse you of being sat down by the elites come on of course these appointments you know that is how we handle statins no it is probably how he feels so it by with them down a fair enough i don't know it feels that way does that they they never did when i was on when they do it would you but they do that i mean i'm no one ever since i don't think people sit anybody dial it down i know you don't usually they do but if you ever experienced not not let's
i mean literally had literally i was just saying in ten years they get their talking points from the new york times and bob bob oh by the way stuff is funny and he's a likeable matter fact when he first had his late night show i go i go that he could tonight show host he's very likable breast marshalls but the first ten minutes i can't fucking watch a closer look and it's forty trump jokes well magically gets low hanging fruit it's not easy to make fun of trump yes it is some of the jokes in your site yeah i do absolutely do your act well i mean do you rack but do you criticize them i do i i said he made it look too easy number one who's just telling people what they wanted to hear when i was running you know the last of a contract on the wall but about healthcare plan will be the skin is people live next question and hello ups our next question bubba bubba and uh and was the fucking file yeah there's no way you deport eleven million people have you seen the size of my jet three trips but but you know if i can take shots at him that's not really shawn yeah
are you getting you on the left leaning on the team left so we can fill you in no we have a bunch of shit on him i didn't say i did i like what he's doing do you get at the wall do i can build the wall i think the idea but people who if you say i want to protect our borders make sure racist that's some real left wing stupidity right there yeah left wing stupidity yeah do you know california jerry brown nancy pelosi berkeley do you think that's kind of left wing stupid diseases are going to come a time where there won't be any walls there won't be any borders and everyone lily and now it's a go anywhere they want not i don't know what the world lab work looked ever but how do you know anything about humanity because people are psychotic but how can we could do that here how come why is this country held to a different standard when it comes to that shit wanna try sneaking in mexico see what's happened here where the contra invite
people from all over the world will now hear us go into may handle like that how you know that you just drive to mexico you know that right if you're not any gonna legally now we talk just drive in about my going if you try to sneak in right but yeah but my point is when you try to go down to mexico didn't even stop you so you believe is a dry so you don't believe in borders you think that could actually work i think that there's no even want to watch what's going on in europe right now well that's a problem him for sure but i think part of the reason it's a problem as a culturally the places people coming from archaic and that's something that the left doesn't wanted met and i'm with them on a percent and it's a real problem because with what but here's the problem that's right he is right please all cultures on equal thing of a war know that not only the nine that's the left main tenet well not really cool but does what's interesting to me is that those cultures that are the problem not not either on credibly missiles right and we're out of luck and feminist yell at them and if you if you say anything about those your islamophobic in your right wing hate monger but you're talking about cultures that are incredibly restrictive of when they're out of the bible yeah it looks like a levin a deed i forgot how we say that but that's my point and even bill maher pointed out yeah he was yelling at the left the feminist where are you going to trump because he loves to grab meanwhile they lopping off heads because the girl shows our ankles true it's like a
that's what i'm talking about i'm not a huge you trying to make me out to be like a huge trump among i'm not but i'm saying at one point in time will take the walters would like that but in one point time that was the norm like two thousand and three thousand years ago that was the norm worldwide right i mean there well there was a restrictive policies against women and things along those lines that was the norm worldwide i guess so so how is it that you're at right now in california because people progress involved so do i think you can progress now of worldwide to the point where we don't have to yeah but not right now that everything was right and it's going to take a long time my question is will there be a time where people can just go everywhere and you said you don't think the world works that way i really don't people a flawed as a species would definitely fly the species here in california it's never going to change you could drive to sonoma right now and i'm going to stop you don't have to show your papers i feel like there's got to be a come a time in history where he and beings are allowed to travel freely wherever they want to go live wherever they want to go and the only thing that's stopping that is it some places are far less far less prosp
then we are here so instead steeper not just prosperous it's like you said the archies ideologies you seeing what's going on in europe and it's not fucking working this next is close to open borders as you're going to get well i do not and someone in a lot of these other countries they got a little silly and i thought the rest the world is like them and they just let all this immigrants and that's all cheney's lee would write but my point is not that we should let everybody in and just let do whatever you want my point is that at some open time that's gotta be the way the world works where you could literally go anywhere you want and then i don't think i think you know the tower babble the idea that one point in time people spoke one language and then the god decided they were getting too crazy and then he split them up at all over the world and gave them a bunch of different languages they can never communicate with each other it's used to me that human beings continue along the path that we're on now how long it takes whether it's five thousand years or whatever we're going to come to point in time where we have a universal language and it might be be within you know our grandchildren's lifetime where people are allowed
communicate with people all over the world and if technol georgie can evolve our our our cultures to the point where these people that live in these unbelievably restrictive environments and and and communities can get to the point where they're like the united states we have disagreements but you're free to go wherever you want i mean that's gotta to be the future that's what i think yeah but that doesn't make him a racist for wanting to protect the borders and that's not he's in a fascist and nazi that's a childish look a view of life that's the far left there the day's work great on paper everybody agrees with them yes they should be open but it's like you said everybody should be able to live together and bubba and that all make to the it hits the road it sounds good technically and it will eventually hopefully they'll get there i'm just saying you can't label people fascists and racists that want to fuck and protect the border
this comes somebody sends latinos because they like italians to me they look like i'm not just like is that we have central america and the whole world comment and canadian and can eight some have canadian french gonna try to set you know it's really up is that it's really easy to come over here from syria it's really hard to come off canada made it more difficult look for places places that are like almost offer zero problems to immigrate to america like if you're canadian you try to get a job in america good luck i know a lot people that are canadians that you got a plan in a matter of somebody your find some check yeah in the hook it up you know good can medium boy come on over here or good canadian girl yeah it's not that hard to come here from syria i mean obama was bussing people to cities and drop it not even telling the mayors and it's all in a really yes he was doing although he did you drive bows his it was his with his idea
they could have orders yes really had not order go do you know what the order was are now now you getting old is asking i don't know well i've never heard all that shit vaca in and all that stuff is questionably on constitute you didn't hear about it exactly 'cause the media wouldn't cover it hum if you go online in in and that you're talking to mayors and and pennsylvania schools being you know where one place was overwhelmed lynn massachusetts was being overwhelmed by kids who now i have been here for five minutes yeah lotta unconstitutional shit went on you know never heard about that i'm not making it up when we sold things going on in the world it's impossible to be abreast of all of it absolutely that's what i'm saying yeah just it's not that hard i'm saying you know so we just got so lucky that's the problem is really in america we got so fucking lucky geographically the luckiest yet but you know what that's all changed also what
mean document cloud plane they can fly over now they don't have to fucking you know but we that's all changed nine hundred and eleven and trying to get on main those along time ago but i'm just saying you are right for years b because of where we were geographically with two oceans will not try that just you know about it so things like flight in but it's also the spot itself like just having the opportunity you have you're in america it's so unusual to so unusual no caste system like we were talking about india yeah yeah yeah all you hear is how racist is an homophobic yet people black and brown people are trying to sneak in is that by the millions is that all you hear is it america's racist you watch tv mainstream media yeah that's all you hear yes i know you don't get your out you have a life lyrics yeah you exactly i don't watch programming man they're trying to program you don't think the mainstream media is fucking has a left went to emma i don't even they admit that i definitely do
well that's all i'm saying that you and that's what people get their information yeah well if you're on the right you have to feel pretty alienated by the media because the mainstream media which is primarily in new york and atlanta california those are these big central locations for liberal thinking isn't it weird though that when you get big giant groups of people together they become liberal that is weird how so only like new york may dominantly liberal california is predominantly liberal those are the population centers of the country there also the education centers in the country it's really fascinating to me and when you can even in chicago chicago's kind of predominately liberals yet yet they lost the election but it wasn't but isn't it strange though i mean i understand a sample in a bubble who don't hang around other people it's bad but why is it so that when you get giant clumps of people that have to live together in in huge groups they become primarily liberal was intrigued cities in the midwest and on you know but what there are liberal name one yeah like what are
now boisea city or something that was i know i was trying to think of the midwest myself with them like well minneapolis is liberal but but it's also princes there man no i know keyboard but i but i sell out of minneapolis they love me to i bet they do this plenty of people that's why i'm saying you're funny guy you know you would sell out in new york with the fuck you talking about i don't know i don't you don't you will now now but he killed me put on the robe tell you the beast every night in front of fucking nyu students what are you shitting me all the nyu students are hilarious all students hilarious have a college campuses that seems pretty fair what goes on there i have a friend of mine which goes to nyu and she sent me this this thing that was abolishing whiteness was covered in my pug abolishing whiteness yeah that's a that's a class in almost every college now that's what i'm talking about how is that fair i don't know i don't know how is it fair it's not it just seems to me that there's just too much us versus them and that's where
real part of the media zap me of course that's part of the media clearly not sources i gotta pike so are you so are you you're you're in a sly way you doing a very softly but how so well you're a lefty but you think i am well just could you eat out doesn't make you a fucking right what makes me already what would i have to do i don't know you tell wall would make you ready make me a lefty
second being for punching somebody i disagree with spot let's please that's true if you calm down that's why i don't smoke and what if i didn't have this generator first thing i had to rely on my neighbors man i decided i just track aquatic coffee so you're fired whatever but what makes a minority when what are the primary things i don't know you're the one who labels people right you tell me not you your side my side inside of my arm i've known people where you grew up in a poor man makes the upper falls blue collar what's up performance right now the poor area would they make only one hundred and forty grand a week that support potter noting this is a place where people average one hundred and forty grand a week fucking imagine it's called bella fica apple anybody who works in cupertino is that nice up there it's beautiful he got attacked by mountain lion last year though that's part of the problem with lib wanna kill mountain lions so that's why i'm not on their side with that issue exact
little bunch of that's how you protect the border with fucking online outlines mexicans no idea i know that i am scared of him yeah that must be it is due in ten minutes to eat am good backstrap cooking well there mountain lion loins taste like pork is we had lying no but i know a friend of mine just shot one he says delicious seriously trump is a malicious really wolf if you had well no i haven't but steve rinella who was on the podcasts of very famous hunter and author and historian he was telling me that there was this a famous mountain man and wolf his favorite meal you like to eat wolf yeah there's guys to shoot wolves needham but i wonder if the technology is faction what it's the satisfaction of eating a wolf 'cause you know it could eat you like this you would love i figured you would be drinking
wolf's blood and shit i'm young bear a lot of bear right you probably can you do it for like reasons like the japanese heat shock friends you want the testosterone and the vitality has eaten rhino dixon should no they shoot bear because they have to because there's so many baron buried all the money and then some guys and i'm not know it's funny now he is wrong not like a fucking righty when i was younger i kill pheasants and ship them right right mother would call and i'd shoot rabbits and like that as i got older though as you get older you appreciate them yeah i mean when i people shooting taking down a giant elephant on some safari is that really hard to kill an elephant i could walk up to it and stab it to death you definitely couldn't that i know can kill you throw your idol but how hard is that they had an elephant with a gun joe not very hard not very or even a moose well moves are delicious and i don't think i could do it you could it couldn't shooter moves i could like this
any dear my where i live i could suffocate him with a moose i could i could study on the on the planet with a dry cleaning bag in my back well you have a lot of medicine your are a lot of deer in your area right now he runs over run full of tics right is lyme disease i i got it and you get lyme disease or most i had the tick i had the big bullseye on my back and my wife got it but then luckily caught early but i go by johnny member gone by john his wife got lyme disease it's fucking dane yeah i know i know ten people that have it i have to check my balls if i go to bed every night for techs in the summertime well they give you an antiseptic that's what's weird ticks they would have like anna's dick saliva so then when you're there biting you you don't even feel it right filters creepy little fockers man those diseases they say that in the somewhere in new york there was some some place like near long island where they tested the ticks and they found
in the sixty percent of the ticks had lyme disease sixty yeah that's fucking are saying that is insane yeah my wifes need blowup she got this big bug and so did she take the antibiotics and did they clear it all that shit yeah because we caught it quick but some people you don't even know we know the guy on our podcast steve kotler and he had lyme disease for a fucking year before they diagnosed it and it fucked him up so about that he was in the hospital for three years three years from lyme disease remember that jamie well yeah scary my brothers wife had to walk around with like an ivy thing jesus price and now it's like a silent epidemic in this country this god damn chicken they come off the fucking deer that come off the dealer looks so cute and shit but terrified yeah when i shot that deer in colorado we found a bunch of ticks on it will be super careful clean it up oh is that right yeah yeah we found ticks like nearest balls and shit we have to be careful ticks love balls well ticks are grossman
and they just fucking creepy little animals that have this bizarre disease reset i know it's a recent disease minutes it's not it's not found fault in probably been around right with it and know what it was back in the day i don't think they think that i know you think that it's something that is that some created by the rice i there's a bar each of conspiracy theories about lyme disease he has definitely peyton completed by the right 'cause it effects mostly white people like there's too many of us bilderberg i'll read that book scared seriously i'm never voting again so what you just think that's all scam godrej did it's not a scam it's planned the fucking the rockafellas the other ones at the heart of all the shit side to the book trump is involved in it and he doesn't know it so that's how far they think ahead you know bill hicks is bit about i agree with the pop it on the left no i agree with the puppet on the right day there's one guy controlling both puppets this book makes that crystal fucking clear well
you your eyes are bulging copies like very tests like i did an eight ball with this fucking rocket fuel you put him drink one of these whatever you do now i milligrams caffeine and make me cry in the i beat as i can ever turn my sark jerry sandusky son jeffrey charged with child sexual abuse no rice is runs in the family course it does he probably did it to his own kid more than five years no my god jesus christ is terrifying did that just come out jan eleven minutes ago god is so terrified supposed to go bowling with him next week criminal solicitation and corruption of minors fourteen counts oh god he's forty one jesus christ that's so gross how many counts forty yeah it's probably caught him with his allmans like he couldn't keep up with maine pussy slacking like every other kid easy you got it good he's going away should but that's
crazy thing about child sexual molestation that it seems to like it affect the kids and the kids wind up doing it's like really what you just said we don't know for a fact but you're probably right yeah sure he dead although i'm sure his dad was such a fucking piece of shit i'm sure he probably fucked him too he probably fucked everybody between or three four defense i'll tell you he did he did it he was there for years though it's too much penn state you seem on the sideline too bad joe paternal dot i would like to have known what he knew about two minutes after he retired yeah he was like it was actually lucky we distress must have been like that salute lee absol totally now and the guy that age took down a statue and all that shit and you realize that like his whole legacy was tainted by being connected to this fucking criminal and then they were placed the statue of pee wee herman that was kind of a dick adam anything set a joke yeah virus
you got it like these fucking laughing what do you tell a producer not to laugh out loud but i left everything constantly often i just didn't know what you're saying was confused yes pee wee herman the statue and penn state is going to be a statue somewhere google stack two of pee wee herman i bet it's up somewhere yeah it's right in front of the cub scouts the other men when he got arrested for beating off in a theater yeah who hasn't done that that's the old school way exactly the theaters and beat off i'll enjoy it so much i dragged off during jaws lenny cop that arrest someone for doing that did you go to jail for misappropriation of public funds your jeep you're arresting people for jerking off in a porno theater would do you want but i thought he was at the lowest cineplex i really did did you really i didn't know was appointed he went to a god damn gay porn with that's for for christ exactly but apparently people were getting upset that other regular folks i'm just going to each other in the mouth and not other ticks out what kind of
business e running here who's men masturbating i know somebody had to fire off an email to the porn theater manager well you know what it is it's low hanging fruit it's like they just decided to arrest someone they needed need to get a collar and that's how they did it nick topology after were you well what i don't see so is when tell us once he sows my special is premiering this thursday night it's called inflammatory it's on c self what tv game for you and and now that required legendary but here's the biggest thing joke my pod gas which is on itunes and riot cast on mondays for free but if you want to subscribe to go connect pal dot com flash nick what is subscribing do and get two to three more shows a week
one three ninety nine a month free and then you'll have more people come in now to diss work download yet because i don't have money you have i have to do what i gotta do i understand what you're saying i have a coke thing with henry hill in pittsburgh it's gonna well connect pal dot com slash nick from then you can sign up and if people eleven it nick did dot com to offer all this information you can get it nicked up dot com yeah and see so thursday night thursday night is the pre my when i was special and see so by where a hundred percent support see so see so is the they're doing absolutely have to have somebody that they have stanhope as is special there joey diaz especially there it's fucking phenomenon saying janine did one and uh it has up special out she had one a few months ago and it's literally her only piece of work is that right stand up you shouldn't have a body of work that was always like the criticism think they yes she has one and dub i do it i really don't want to wait a year i just hate traveling so much any time and any time to time we do it we tried through skype if you want to do it that way yeah i did that with steven
it's okay it ain't done that but you got to be here yeah i don't get to see it malaysia on thursday night nick the balls on the best comics in the world without a doubt thank you brother really appreciate it i'm going to do it again thank you so much fun alright see you tomorrow fuckers thank you everybody thanks for tuning into the podcast thank you nick to pop well make sure you check out his special that is on c so see so this thursday see so see so which is an awesome service they have as we sit on the pot just a bunch of different stand up specials including great joey diaz and doug stanhope those two guys have awesome specials on c so that are available right now thanks a caveman fifa get nicked apollo high like he's on fucking crystal meth caveman coffee dot com go there you the code word rogan and you can save ten percent off any of their awesome coffee and drinks and all sorts over the groovy they have thank you also square space your solution if you need a website if you
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Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.