Bryan Callen - Date: 08/13/2012
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This should be actually happening, it says, live recording, but I'm a fucking idiot. So I don't know if that's true, if this is all bad. Ladies and gentlemen, I did not plan this out this well and I'm trying to do this myself, just me and my man bra, but I really need my little buddy red band to help me out with the technical shit, because I don't know the fuck is going on. So I got to go online to see if it is actually online No, I don't want to go social with your fucking facebook. It seems like it's on where on alive. Yes, fantastic, the Joe Rogan experience podcast. To buy on it. Dot com on a dot com has some a bunch of new shit in first of all the hemp teen powder, which is sensational very delicious, I use it dear user
proteins to shed. I'm gonna give you some of this him for stuff. It's sweetened with stevia are and yeah. It's got raw cocoa. When I'm not a good spokesman for protein powder, that's not like the look at Bryant counted to he do. What do you do? Dance dance in the rain, dancer's physique, if you, if you wanted to his each, I have protein powder, Bryan Callen, he's a dancer in the rain? That's a commercial for hemp! Protein powder me dancing in the rain 'cause. I look good wet when rain hitter those off my body. Have you ever tried battle ropes. You mean the yeah. I have some in my I can't you can't embarrass I column, muscle ropes, to do it there. This shit is there yeah, we just started selling them at on it. So one of the other items people are good, so could expensive for rope. I'm telling you it's not it's it's sheep, as you can buy, you cannot buy battle ropes online cheaper than the ones were. Selling ropes are fucking
Spencer. When you're getting forty feet of giant thick, app rope, that's not cheap and it comes out to be like one hundred bucks or something like that. The same kettlebells cattle bells that were something not cheap, but here's the deal first of all they fucking will last you forever. You don't ever need other gym equipment. You need a chin up bar and some fucking cat. If you want to be in some badass shape. Kettle bells. Will last you for a lifetime for a lifetime? You will be able to have there's so many different exercises. You can do with kettle bells. Just looking offer Youtube, there's fucking hundreds of different things you can do these. Can and balls with handles on a more this shit fuck in the most manly shit ever for working out, you feel like you're fucking, like you the Russian do the worst the worst I ever did was I had to push a weighted sled then do the battle rope? So I called muscle Roxanne then do kettle bells I've. You know wrestling all of it I've never in my life jujitsu I've never ever wanted to die
by the way it was, and six one slash two minute workout, oh here comes Brian, must know where online now, six in Athens this online with him. Alright, hey little fella, go hello, fellow we're on the air right now. Will you? How sleeping Yeah, I'm in a panic 'cause. I can't get. I guess it doesn't matter, but I can't get that dissolved thing to work where you see the text at the bottom of the screen. Yeah, you know how you can make the text fade out. How do I do that background music? While you do stuff his name is John? Ok,
in right click on the scene that you're on okay, ok, two to edit shot long eyelashes to really nice contrast. It's got a wide face like hit x on it, wide face like jail zone and but it is see, I don't see that that's where it's confusing uh she's too, no, I have it it's just you. I was trying to put Brians name up 'cause, it's your name on it. He's got shoulders for days and uh. Really, oh, no, and then a really well. So what should I do? You know The last one is Christina Paczynski and it's got like names on it. Oh the last seen on the far right nice I was just me now. And now that's just Brian. I can go back and forth from Bryant to me.
Saxis, do you like It might not be sound on those okay, so I should stick with what I'm on. Thank you for, bearing with us in this technical break, I'm going to keep singing a song about Joe, it's kind of one okay. We'll have to deal with this, but on the so the the tax there's no way to get rid of that text on the screen accessible, it's got a wind bank and is really flexible, is name is Joel Room again it's got a while I face neck wind vanes short neck, see. I don't see that, though, when I'm trying to do that. I can't it's not. Let me do. That means he can absorb punches, really well. Benefiber buddy. Ladies and gentlemen home this is boring as fuck, I'm sure yeah. It shows logic, camera logic, camera built. In I sight. Those are the options I'm singing background. Music did built, in put it shouldn't, be anything on it.
Should have been a gymnast he should've been. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Do we're we're going to have to have you This is a good job security for you. The goes to without red man. Okay,. Alright well now, for some reason it says Eddie. Bravo, I must have changed it. I don't mind being Eddie. Bravo! Ok! This is Eddie! Bravo now! Well! We just given plugs to our friends I'll, be at the in that company yeah. Let me check Thursday Friday Saturday, Sunday, everybody anti american company, which is a sort of surprised yeah, should turn my volume. Are you? What is he talking? I'm just a given. I'm just a I'm talking to Brian Callen, he's talking on the podcast singing songs about you name it, call. Rogan he's got away we're just trying to see if this thing is actually online. Long, eyelashes and is really flexible. He can do impression.
There's. Nobody knows that Is Joe. Rogan is really muscular. How to Whiteface Whiteface Anna short neck short neck. He can take a punch to his phone. King knows better than you can Joe Rogan, Jewel Log on John Wrong. I'm trying both other words working. Alright, alright, buddy I'll see you tomorrow, Jamie Kilstein, later bye. Let me can I plug my gig this weekend. Oh did for we're going to push it again this weekend. Let's not do it here, because this is only the commercials. Let's do it again for the podcast going to plug the fuck outta, you son. Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan Podcast. What is it called the experience? Something like that? This is just it's. Why label it do? I have to label, maybe nominate label many more, I'm going to stop calling at the Joe Rogan experience. I want to call my podcast the man thoughts that
If you don't label it, you can't sell t shirts we're going to make it buffer. Stick money dog! You ain't got no label door, they don't take man, thoughts! That's mine, man, thoughts about Frank! I like it sexy, sounds power I'm going from Brian Council showed and then you should be you doing fucking battle ropes. That should be like your avatar. Exactly just you. Battle ropes to look at this swinging around right comes. He played golf for walking Conan. The barbarian people are calling you de hi Jade Joe Rogan, because yeah we pranked. I think this will style will Sasso. We do on the ten o'clock as he goes, because that's my bike as well. I he goes on. He goes your do I like Joe Rogan before you add the water. We did we around the crowd. You could watch the video of it actually put the video of it on you tube hi. I was great what what yeah I'll talk about that when we're done with this commercial go: go to honor dot com check out the kettle bells check out the battle ropes, the new protein powder, with pouty
kind of a spokesman of my Jesus Christ. I haven't had my offer brain. Ladies and gentlemen, I haven't we have right now I take some right before I do the shell. I don't even know if it helps well, you know what at least you do your own products. You use kettle bells muscle ropes and you take your own product. So here. Are there in general dude? I take it because it's awesome if they were on my own product, that's still taken I'm addicted to it. So is Lorenzo Fertitta only the UFC he's addicted to this shit. Every time he sees me goes, do this fucking outfit brain's incredible, because you fly around a lot, don't drink. That happened from picture right now. Did you take for guts? For I'm a savage here, an extremist? I am a little bit right, It may be a little crazy canary in the coal mine. Everything you do, I'm always like. Is it safe podcast? Is it safe? Alright, I'll? Do it now stand up? I guess I'll. Try I'll! Do it again will talk about this later. This is
fucking commercial, Brian Calendar, it's for God, damn on it dot com, it's o! N n. I t what is alpha brain that I just took it. It's a it's! A it's hey, Tory Sort of supplement. It's all a bunch of different Nutro pics and what Nutro pics are is machines that have been shown to have a positive effect on brain function and you could go to auto dot com and there is a plethora of information on the subject and look at Google too, because it's a controversial subject- and you know some people are not into it and you know they don't want. They don't want to believe that supplements can help them and that's fine, I'm not I'm not pushing it out. Anybody, that's not interested, but You're, a person that does supplement your vitamins into your person like me, who absolutely knows that it affects your health, it it does sometimes don't get enough nutrients from my food. You know in a perfect world. We would all
be eating mineral rich vegetables and we would all be getting the perfect amount of water and we will be having you know the best food ever and Grass FED Diet, but the reality is. It doesn't always work out that way and uh, things get affected by not supplementing. I think I it is most certainly enhanced my health and the that have been most interested in our Nutro pics and this along with Nuro one, which is Bill Romanowski's formula, that was the one. I first discovered bill, Romanowski Great Great, linebacker. You have problems of concussion yesterday and he developed these this. It is six years of supplements to aid himself. What was his idea? It himself and I I took issue because no name was a radio dj. It severed his so a few years back. He was raving about the formula is pretty pretty interesting: here's a little caffeine in it. I believe, which I
want in alpha brain. You know, I think, caffeine, something that's kind of tricking. It absolutely can help your brain function, but I don't think it should be in anything less. It's obvious. You know to mean, like I mean I think, should be in coffee. Caffeine should be an energy drink and take something with a lot of caffeine and feel like wow. This is: what's working, will you fuck up and you don't read the label and you take it while you're taking coffee, you have a god. Damn heart attack yeah right, a lot of those people that are running if you're, so good diet, pills yeah all this stuff that we we're we're talking about here. Folks is all vitamins. It's nothing that you have to worry about stuff in this dangerous and the thing was on it is we want to make sure that nobody ever feels ripped off. So your first thirty pills, it's one hundred percent money back guarantee you don't even have to return the product. That's confident one we are of the product and we know they're to enjoy it and two how the the ethics of this company is. Nobody wants anybody to feel ripped off. We want to sell. You best shit that we can find the
best supplements as far as his health and athletic performance and the best nutrients we can find the best lifting equipment equipment. We can find you stroy kettlebells bells through the in the world, they're perfect the can't get anything better, the highest quality available. They will fucking last through the apocalypse. You bye, bitches you're done you're done. You have them forever. They will never wear out their cast iron. Fucking cannonballs they're awesome. So this stuff is not cheap. We're selling it at the most reasonable rate that we can and we're trying to provide everybody with the best possible products that we can that's the ethics of on it and that's why about and if user code name Rogan, you will save ten percent off all supplements. Alright, you dirty freaks Brian counts here, and I don't know how to turn the music
so we're going to Poquet like heavy guitars and wind blowing, my hair back, it's the fucking Pock, its Brian cannons on the podcast, with dual role gun. That was that that was a very interesting with dance right. There yeah I can bring it back, is like a gay kenyan dance, bringing I'm bringing back some shit from like the 70s to Madison. If you cook, it would stop sharing. If you cook in cast iron an excellent way of getting iron in your diet, which I did yes, yes, they see stakes in cast iron, yes seriously, and you guys are so much ferris oxide in your diet. You have to be careful so that TIM Ferriss says this book that a lot of these guys will like actually take a day and eat no wired to realize that, yes, to bring their iron levels that so there it is wow. Ferris is fascinating. We've been going back and forth he's going to come back on the podcasts again. Well, let's do it. Let's look it up. He's a great guy, gotta get him out 'cause. I had a conversation with them after reading the book- and I love the minute- he just knows so much
yeah he's apparently got a lot of stuff cooking, he's Anisa middle of writing a book as well, but we had a love talking to him. I just love I'm gonna do is that they are just filled with information. Like him, Robert Wolfe, the the paleo solution, yeah, author awards that life great you know, because I'm reading the guys filled with information. It's controversial well, but I I just I just read the trying to study talk to you about yeah, which is about he's a very, very credible science, and he looks a lot of scientists as whole foods, but play a plant based whole food diet is the best way to go problem. Is that I think, like we talked about if you're doing sports and lifting yeah. Personally, I went I went like about a week eating just a whole food plant based diet,
I had a steak the other day I I wolfed it down- I inhaled it was literally like I was like yeah. I've never felt better man I mean I just need some meat, something. I don't think that you can have the same diet for every person. I don't think I don't think everybody needs. I already need to stake. There's a lot of chicks out there that don't need to stay. They really don't. There's a lot of dudes that don't need a state. Jamie Kilstein is coming on. The podcast tomorrow he's a vegan. I think, he's happy and he loves, it- is real fitness. Fitness is always constantly doing. Martial arts, jujitsu and shit and he's a vegan weighs eight but it's a video, I'm not kidding, weighs eight pounds. I always look at it. I was like you can't find too many olympic athletes who are vegan, no well MAC. Danzik, who is also going to do the podcast we're going back and forth? I love that. Do is really really interesting. Guy he's a UFC fighter who is a vegan is also for Agra for, and you know it works his his reasons are that he loves animals. You know that so and I respect as well.
I uh I love animals too. There's a cycle of life and I think factory farming is terrific, but I think wild game. I think that where it's at, I think in a perfect world, we would buy meat from hunters, and that would be a new fucking industry would have to make the people were approaching by meat hunters. I think you should be able to hunt a lot of because it yeah do your a everywhere. The idea that there's a car fire house too yeah and we can grow more of a loner by the way yeah we grow more of a and because when they were, but my point is when they're wild and they're running around and then you just hunt them and kill them the. I think, first of all, that it's the whole thing is way more humane because they live the real life yeah. They lived a real life that is no, but the deer's never live a better life. They have one life that life force for food stay alive. If you do that, you've won there also, by the way there also they are food in the wild ones. First, that's why they're there one of the just camp always said that one of the one of the problems with the original, the original sort of
tools in their mythology was that they would look around in nature and realize it life eight life. And if you look at a lot of like whether it's Americans or whatever the traditions of killing they were always fairly. Most cultures were always fairly very uneasy with killing an animal, which is why, when you killed an animal there's a ritual around that there was usually prayer said they were rituals 'cause. He things were like they felt a were taken and and when you actually have to kill something with a spear, a bone, marrow or knife, and you feel it can you smell that animal, that's very intimate it's very. It's intimate very almost all all all original aboriginal cultures had and all that I can think of had uh sort of a ritual around that they would say, prayers that they do all kinds of things, because it may what we become a so removed from our food
we're so remove with factory farming and things as feet, a lot of people get a lot of the team people. People don't go hungry anymore. I always remind people. Thirty years, thirty years ago I mean half of half of India. I have a lot of China went to major famines and most certainly most of Africa, but now that's that's becoming more more a relic of the past. It's because, we become very efficient at at getting food to a maximum number of people, but there's about. We can only hope that there's a huge disconnection yeah. So when you eat a pig when you eat bacon, that's been inch and it just takes some crazy. You know and goes crazy because chewing on the bars you're, not really thinking about him and I'm just I'm just hungry you nothing to pick you thinking. It's just peace, hem we've! Actually, given these really euphemistic names to meet. Having said that, right is like cute yeah. It is we do that beef ham. You know, you don't think veal. Veal
if you ever go to a farm though, and you're like playing around with the lambs and the goats and fucking, I mean and plan around them, but you start that you get kind of you realize. Oh I mean that thing is a living breathing creature that is reacting to me and reacting to its environment. I gotta lock this door got locked the store, keep talking, yeah, it's it's It's an interesting thing. If you talk to farmers who are round animals there, they're very, very tuned and keyed into animals and nature on a way that most of us are not they just have to be there very aware of the cycles are very aware of all the things you talk to dairy farmers. There was uh,
mad cow scare- and this this woman was being interviewed because I had to kill all our cows in front of her and then they had to burn the cows. That was, that was a government policy and Britain at the time, because you know these prions were very dangerous, so they took, they took out the whole heart and she was so devastated because she got she'd know she knew her cows. She had every one of her cows. She knew had its own personality had its own name and she had her own relationship for me, I went to cow really and it was devastating for what she was going to butcher. Those comes with a dairy cows. No one of them had mad cow disease in the day in the law, the time this is about ten years ago they had to put down the whole herd, right so, but was she raising these counts? For butchering no dairy? There dairy cows in- and they were also there if some of them work for butchering. As well, but this is a dairy farm in the most part, so did they the cows fucked up things that they feed them like. How me what apparently, what
happen with with the development of these prions in the central nervous systems of cows. I'm not a scientist, but from what I read I remember you could eat. If you had a calla had mad cow disease, it wasn't eating the muscle meat that fucked you up. It was when a the brain tissue, yeah brain tissue spinal cord, and they would ground that up into hot dogs and things like that- and you can take those prions. They're called pre op. I think- and you can heat them up to five hundred degrees and they still don't die yeah and you can still get the mad cow disease. So you can it's not the. I think it's. I think it's more than one thousand degrees, it's crazy, and so apparently that came from the fact that you had cows cannibalizing their own tissue, because when you slaughter cows there are certain parts. I guess that you don't necessarily need you take five percent, you put it into the slop and delete it, they would check it. Fucked up, it's become but what's fucked up about it as if they could do with pigs. That's okay is actually are omnivores, but you do
house like you're just Jack in his whole says. I'm not sure that the reason you don't want an animal cannibalizing itself is because it it it. It leads to these really weird pathogen ' yeah this, these, it's Brian. So I actually in the book of Leviticus, which freon surprise. I think it's called the the the the book of Leviticus you talk about in your show. Yes, the book a little of it is actually a book in the old testament that goes in to really start detail about what you can eat, what you can't and in in the old testament. They always talk about the fact you can't eat animals of prey you can eat, so you can eat a leopard or in our spray on eagle. Why? Because those animals eat other animal protein and you, you still don't find people eating leopard meat, even in I think the mountain lions Mount line, steaks and stuff like that? But you wouldn't do it there's a reason. We don't it's a rarity and we say I think they do because for the most part, no cultures, the protein,
set for fish, but a lot of animals that eat other animals. Apparently, it's not apparently it's not healthy makes sense if you think about it, but it's also there probably probably taste creepy yeah. Well, I've heard I've heard that when you eat bear meat will have oily will really like Jamie and oily. I was Simple- bears- are mostly herbivores. Actually, unless you're talking about polar bears, which are complete meat, eaters, yeah We were actually just talking about this. About going. Hunting were saying that I did what I Stephen L asked me to go. Hunting with them to go, bear hunting and it's like. I don't kill Bambi. I don't want to eat it. I don't want to add that it's if it's not something that I really want to eat like I, like, Venice and I'll, kill a deer. This is a life. Die mouth watering. My dad and I went to Alaska ok to go. Hunt bear 'cause. I want to hunt bear I come, I'm not hunting. Bear you guys. Why not? I go well because I want to kill a bear and by the way either do you. Somebody talked into it. He goes well I'm a guy I go well,
do he had already bought a rifle? That's how susceptible he's like the guy was like come baron up by a rifle. He bought, like literally like a like a twelve thousand dollars rifles, I'm created with the scope and everything. So you go there and I go. I go to Alaska with you, but will go fishing. He goes I'll. Call you right back, Cosmin, yeah, you're right! I don't want to kill a bear either, let's go fishing, so he buys a crazy amount of fishing equipment. We go there. We didn't catch fish, not one fucking. Really. What we're not fishermen wheel, install the lures, we literally lost, you know how to tie knots, how to do any of it. So we just took chances like we went out there. We paid all this money for this guy. They gotta learn some good knots. The guide comes back and he goes. We go, we don't have anymore lures and he goes, but you had all the thing because We lost amigos. What do you we're casting over the lake into the trees? He literally goes like this because how to lose all way we never caught one fish and then he
he goes. I want to cite my rifle this was he brings his rifle. I want to cite it so the former marine wants a site is rifle, so he down, showing us how to shoot prone right promise when you in Ranger shooting military weapons. They don't have that kind of recoil that three hundred and seventy or whatever the fuck it was. I can kill an elk from half a mile so he's like he's got his face right up chance the scope and I'm like right behind them right behind him, right, she's, going to shoot that log. I don't do it. So I'm right behind him- and I don't know if you've ever heard a fucking often gun go off when you're close to it. It was so loud that I prac, I think I shot my pants a little bit like a little duty flat amassed my face. The sound like hit, what it was like a fire segment. I was at it he so he goes to shoot because he should come right behind it and it was so that I would like to it in the hit me. I fall back on my
he looks up. He's got this really deep round cut in his eye. 'cause. The scope came back in him in that, so for the rest of the fuck in the Alaska toward walk around like a couple, just don't stand next to me. Bro you look like such a fucking taurus. He has a huge cut around his eye like a half a raccoon. That is a long way. I don't know who that guy is. I know he looks like me being my dad. How are you supposed to shoot that, through the Scobie supposed to back way up yeah, I don't know I took three seventy or what or do you just have to brace it? You got it. You got a brace it better. I shot it six times and I couldn't should anymore, because I really don't have a meet my shoulder and hurt that bad Jesus like the kick is that bad and one of the tricks you do when you don't have your plugs is keep your mouth open when you shoot a gun that allow, because it'll cause the sad has somewhere to go. Oh my god, rookies make as they keep their mouth close. Really, so you keep your mouth open,
use one of the rare times in life where you supposed to keep your mouth open. So I was told by the way any soldiers out there. I don't know- maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking, but that's what the guy told me this guy named Swede and he said: keep your mouth open. That's how you do it 'cause. He was shooting no problems, it doesn't have the sound. So let her my face to get my dear, it's crazy that they get to like a level like that. It's like the the the they get guns to the point where you get to like the fifty caliber in like what do you do it? We do not do what the hell you doing now. What I want to kill something from a mile away. You this is like a b: that's like some army like. Why would why is a regular person binds to army that you get when you get one of those high powered hunting rifles, it's to kill, and how do you think from miles away? Do you know what this raging gun control debate in this country? Do you think that there's any a possible way you could make this a safe world? Here's? What I've done, I always say about gun control, is what I talk about my stand up speaking, which I'll be at the American,
this weekend Friday and Saturday? Oh shit, bitch is amazing club. By the way we did a desk watch. Oh there we had a fucking great time and we did a weekend. We did two shows doing all new stuff. I'm excited about my in my new hour but but I don't think I always say my stand. What was that I was starting out with gun. Control is gun control in this country, in my opinion, but will never work in in terms of what people are calling for, because I think that men like their guns not because they're shiny and they go bone. I actually really believe most men own guns, because it's the it's it's for them. It's certainly for me, ah feeling that at least I can protect my family if the shit hits the fan, because a golf club or a sharp stick in gonna do it. I want an arsenal in case and I think most men go when a politician says, and they have good point-
but if a politician says uh, we want to take your gun away. Americans in particular, go I don't fucking automatic because you're not going to be there. When somebody tried to break in my house at four hundred in the morning, call nine one one, but the feeling of a phone in my hand versus my Mossberg twenty gauge. You know faction shock on feels a lot better to me. The real problem is that guns are out there. That's the real problem, yeah they've been guns didn't exist. Then you have. Are you going to be a different issue? But here's where the debate actually lies for me after this terrible tragedy, with the Batman thing, I I do think and the n r I r a cz from what I can understand, isn't that cooperative with us. I do think, there's a debate to be had about the lethal weapons do you need a drum that holds a hundred rounds? I don't do you need a fucking elephant? Come right? I don't think that you necessarily need an assault weapon that goes through a car engine or go What building? But you know what all the law abiding people out there like my friend, Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony Show, is a gun nut. Why should
maybe alone handle. It doesn't bother me at all that he has own guns, and I I'm you know. I agree I mean I wonder, and then the other thing is a fifty caliber. He has those cannon things. No. I mean, I think that there was a politician on he said this about it was really kind of he was on it was really interesting. He said what can we do about these mad men and he said unfortunately, in a society like ours, that's free in as big as we are. You can't ultimately do anything about alone, crazy, demented human being who is whatever he is schizophrenic. I think, though, the debate lies. Can you, though, create a situation where you can keep very lethal as fission weapons like machine guns out of their hands? That seems to be the debate. I mean, I don't think you're ever gonna stop crazies from getting guns and shooting people, but I I it be nice if they got just a glock as posed to a and AR one thousand four hundred and fifteen with drum of one hundred now. This is where the conspiracy theory kicks in is where
all these people believe that the government has brainwashed people like this Joker guy to go and commit these things, so they can clamp down on gun control and that he see what is this error older? You see like, first of all and the nonsense of them selling illegal guns to Mexico when having those guns be used on american Border patrol agents in murder of the retarded that was actually where that is actually a way to track weapons, whatever they sold guns Van. I think that is the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas. I don't know the details, but it doesn't sound very well. Alex Jones, of course, put a temp oil had on believes that they did, that on purpose, now, making money off of it and they they wrapped it up in a in a ridiculous, completely implausible plot, like a completely implausible plan, yeah. The problem with Garlic Alex Jones, in my opinion, is whenever you talk about the government, the government so diversified with so many different interest. There are so
the people that actually are against gun control in government and passionate about it. There are a lot of people in government that very for gun control. I think there's a lot of debate even within the: U S, army and and and the FBI and CIA, about what we do with our about everything I mean, I think, you're misunderstanding his tone, Loke. What he saying is it's a much more sinister thing than the government itself. What he's talking about is like the World Bank's and the new world order, getting together and physically engineering a situation where they can clamp down on people to take away their go because they're worried about the economy going into the toilet and then when, passing things like Nvidia group. It is. It is, however, when their path things like the Nda when they pass things like that. You realize what will they are slowly but steadily taking our rights away in a place, in a time where the
it's really not necessary, is with this no personal attacks. I mean there's no, there's no tax going on here in America. I I've been lied to I. I would agree with you on that and I, but I I think it's a little bit more insidious and a little bit more on some of them that I. I actually think that that it's kind of what the founding fathers warned about a long time ago, a lot of times human beings will invent laws that take their own power away in the name of things like safety in the name. Look at the Patriot ACT right. You know those kinds of things were before you know it. There is. There is a fire, and I could tell me about this. My my father, I I did a podcast, my dad on the front counter and he he was talking about how we spend a lot of time in government lot of time down. There watch how it really works. It's not that politicians are bad. It's not that you know Republicans. Democrats lot of people have good ideas, are trying to get done. Obama's Nana socials, it's it's government in the business of intent, you're in the business of intent. You have and you have a law, and you have an intention. The problem when you have an intention is that there's so many different interests that you have to appease to get that law hole and pass, and what happens is what you intended usually has other consequences.
It would make sense- and I think what we have to worry about is like what you're talking about where we start losing our own power. But it's almost like it happens. It happens without us, even realizing it like you, pass a law that seems to be a good law. It has other unintended consequences right and whenever you do anything that compromises people's freedom and liberty, Then you have to say well what is the end game in this because it seems like even the of safety. You're gonna, clamp down on freedom and liberty and safety isn't gonna be worth nearly as much. To really look at that. My my father was talking about corporations and he at one point ran biggest investment in the I heard it was amazing podcast by the way a lot of people really really enjoyed it. I was so proud of it. You can get it on Brian calendar, If I wasn't so selfish, I would listen to it yeah. Well now this I think, you'd really like them. I will listen to it for sure just go free, so he so about he's just about personal liberty, but he also understands that
is very moderate about that stuff. But you know he's he's somebody who who who talks about, for example, whatever your intentions, whatever your intentions as government grows and and both sides responsible Democrats, Republicans, it's it's human as a government grows with tax revenue or whatever it is. What happens with corporations? They behave just like you, and I would, which is why I got a lobby, my government, so I can get a favorable outcome here, because everybody else is doing it
so pretty soon you've got everybody feeding out of or influencing the government trough. It's just you can't do business, otherwise you can't be in business as a bank without having very strong ties to the government. You can't you just can't, and therein lies the argument. So no matter what you say: yes, you need government. Yes, there are good ideas out there. You know, but just be aware that regardless the bigger it gets, even if its intentions are good, you're, going to have your going lose, the argument goes you're going to lose some of your liberties you're just going to. That seems at least to be what history says, and it seems to be that it's so easy to let something grow completely unnecessarily out of control. If you until you could micromanage every single aspect of society in order to create new jobs, if you to create new jobs and give more people the work of
you know we were just talking about this weekend. Now explain to me what how, in any way making hemp weed marijuana, illegal marijuana is illegal, you and I were hanging out at a bar this weekend. I remember I said, and there was somebody acting up and they were drunk, and I said that I've never bothered by a pothead like that, but but it's always somebody who's drinking alcohol causes way more damage? We all know the story yeah we will. The facts are as clear as day why? Why is why is marijuana? So why are those laws? who is federal laws so difficult to repeal? Well I'll, tell you why, in my opinion- and it goes back to what you brought up- there's a lot of money and enforcing a lot of money and enforcing enforcing marijuana laws. There's a lot of money. Yes talk to talk to the da you
you've got a lot of people whose jobs depend on this stuff. It's not anybody's fault, it's what happens meant yeah. We are all anytime, you have a critique of somebody just realized. If you were in their position would probably be the same God damn way you really not, but that's what happened. That's why we need clear cut laws to protect people from their own instincts to protect human nature. For you, a person's was outside of it objectively. Looking the situation. From a a knowledgeable point of view, you can sort of engineer what is and what isn't legal we we have to avoid that, so you can't take money. We have to avoid that. So you can't do this, you know and in less you stick by some well thought rules. It's so much you you need a scaffolding humanity to grow on. When you give people power with no scaffolding yeah, I uh.
Never I never arguing more about democratic or republican platform. I never do that. Not my argument always centers on one thing, which is hey. Look. You got your political point of view. That's great criticism! We all agree. We need some government, you just need some. Yeah! We need some moral boundaries. We need some engineering of our culture, you need law and order. You need roads, you need, but we need way. Less than we had well, there you go, and so then the question becomes how much less do we need a lot? Okay and that's where the debate should that's what we should talk. Why and why? What is the objective to preserve personal freedom yeah if they had less laws and more cops, the world would be a way better place and if the cops were paid better and treated better by people, if more people that their shit together. So it didn't look at the cop as like someone is going to come and arrest you for doing. Shitty things just will be doing shitty things, if we, if we could figure out a way to elevate our society to the next level, you know
really away be a way. I was just reading an article, but my thoughts of a cop like like security person like a friend like like. Let's put it this way, instead of thinking of cops as like someone is coming a bus to you or someone going to take your shit. If you had good cops in a community, it's like if you had a fucking fort and your body is the guy to watch the door with a gun because, there's you know crazy, Indians or who knows what the fuck could happen. You need that, like that shit is very important. You have to have somebody guarding the wall and somewhere along the line. It stop be in that and it became an US versus them. The the society verses the cop. I do think, though, that that a lot of police forces, if that's not lost on a lot of cops and a lot of a lot of the brass, for example, in in New York, I serve an article that crime is down, so the 90s by eighty percent amazing, isn't code and most
mostly in black and hispanic neighborhoods I'll see, Giuliani came in and just cut the bullshit and it was Bratton and their notion of quality of life laws. If you they said, if somebody graffiti is a wall, they probably do other things that are bad Thio, so we're gonna start enforcing those small those small crimes because they lead to bigger crimes. That kind of notion- and it's interesting how many people were like so down on Giuliani, doing that really upset that he's ruining New York New York. That's I I was in New York. I shot a movie there, but three weeks ago, whatever it's better than I've, I I mean I've been my family's from there it's better than I've. Ever in the city in my life. That's incredible: it's it's a better place to be than anywhere it's the best. I've ever it's a better place to be than anywhere in the world
in some ways. I don't want to get carried away. What's the greatest part about it, to you, accessibility, to everything, that's everything and feeling safe doing it. You've got first of all. You've got the lower east side, which is totally different in the lower west side, which is totally different than the Upper West side was totally in the midtown, which is totally different and eat the Upper EAST side and there's an experience to be had in all quadrants of Manhattan. You can get there in fifteen minutes, cab or less and or by subway and, most importantly, you no longer walk around York. Feeling like you're, going to get mugged or any so that's what people that's the feeling that people still have about Manhattan. Is that weird feeling of worrying about being mugged? Sure because it's so big? But if you look at the statistics, the police have done an amazing job of policing- and you know else- has done a really good job, as I can't remember the our police chief here in and la, but they
really good job, really good job at controlling gang violence in this in this- and it's almost impossible in such an error, huge area, but they've done a really innovative job. You know comparative, they've they've, they've they've learned. They learned a lot from the gang explosions in the 80s and the 90s and they've done a really good job in a lot of places. It's kind of when you really wrap your head around it like that, should be the laws that people are concentrating on. What is what causing that kind of shit. I know it's called, as I have an opinion on that gangs. I think a lot of it comes starts with its family. Exactly I talked to a principle in Kansas City. I said: what would you do about education do about education and I wanted to talk about it and he said nothing. Our schools are great. Our parents are fucked up, they had good parents would be fine. I was like oh geez. I never thought my school is great. I just gotta parents that don't present they got three kids, they can't take care of, and it comes down there's a lot of that man. I think a lot about kids just want to feel significant and belong to something Absolutely everybody has the need to belong to a team or a tribe.
You know I mean that's what we call ourselves death squad. You know, that's why I love being a part of ten flanges too. You know, that's it's it. We we, you know when you were you were, become a part of like a team. You know you become, you feel stronger so some kid is out there on his own. You know his family just fucking sucks in it. Whole life has been shit, and you know there was some dude who will shoot a dude farm in Iowa. What podcast is too? Isn't it? I'm yeah? You know you you, you have a really good that show we are. We were with Joe did a show this this weekend in Denver that crowd was so there was so unbelievable was like a rockstar. I went out as Joe. What's up you fucking francs yeah, we wanted to see how long it would take for people really thought it was me and they might have been like what the hell is. Joe got skinny and a little taller with a beer, that's weird but anyway, but they
Crazy, and I I'm I'm and then watching. Most people want to just take a picture with you. They both they feel like. They belong to an experience. You know they feel like they belong to something like even that that that that might well. I do that. You know, ten minute podcast I've notice you a lot of young men. They go on to that kind of humor. No they they like the silliness that we do because it's come like recess. It creates of you when you create a following, and you create a core group of people it makes them feel like they belong, something I think that's where the root for a team yeah, you know you have an experience with it. It's the same kind of thing. Well, this is a more even more intimate experience because you know you're in people's heads man. You know that's what We get so annoyed if you say something over repeat things or if you do something they don't like, like your. People, are allowing you like the most intimate at sort of like input into their brain you're in the fucking earbuds and you're, literally playing inside their ear and you're talking inside their head and if you're annoying that's a mindfuck, but if you
You are really genuinely on a good path and you really are genuinely promoting the people to be on a good path to and just brother would you know Tom Road sent me a text today that was really fucking awesome text, 'cause Tom, the I sell Stock Markle's show that we do add on the dance floor at the ice house yeah, I saw some amazing old, comedy club and we've been doing. The shows were gonna. Do when this Friday night, where we have these comics Glover was DOM Irrera. You know this week it's Greg, Fitzsimmons, Joey, Diaz, Joeys
temper cry. She was there this week. I mean these. These shows are incredible: okay and we're hanging around in the back room, and we do a podcast Jimmy and cries sure and Tom roads and dumb a rare, Brody Stevens and we are laughing, are kicks off its self. What lines like this up? We always did, but now now that was a hundred thousand people this, but it's a bit woods but woods with Tom said he's. He was a really love the feeling of comedy brotherhood. You know and that's what it that's really what it was. It's like. We have like a comedy brotherhood and eat. We really genuinely like each other love each other and want each other to succeed and are happy when each others succeeds. That's the one thing that's missing in our group is that weird comic neurosis that often exists where people can't be happy with other people success bitter bitter, like narcissistic, orbiter kind of like damaged like islands. That's what you'd get a lot with
well it's they haven't been told man, it's like it's like learning, Jiu, Jitsu, wrong or learning to play. The guitar wrong you haven't. Told the way to manage your mind and what you? What you don't realize is that, even though you are separate from other people, you're really not, and you get something from them positive or negative, and that of x you and if you can generate positive feelings and other people, then it you will get more positive feelings in your own life. You know it's really weird. I'm reading this book called the social path. Next door written by the Right Harvard psychiatrist should be arriving
social. I read an excerpt about their with their wage, saying some frightening number social passing. We were just you just talking about connection and how important is it and with the feeling you get from when you move other people, and then you and you get and and you get moved from other people and most of us were normal. We get this social paths, they don't even get that from their own children. They don't even get like back date if they could be very successful, but they don't get any satisfaction out of being at a you know, getting the adulation. The only thing that they usually get pleasure from is winning and controlling other people's reactions is not wild. So the idea is you whatever they, do power over people is what gets them off and winning that's the only thing that gives them the satisfaction, because they can. I think we know comics, like that. You there a lot of people. I think we know one at least the ones. It's usually the ones that are in trouble for being unoriginal. It's is, it
the desire for conquest of supersedes everything, and they really don't have any problem fucking people over and that's where it gets really weird. Every time I've ever fucked anybody over my life, it is left a bad feeling like we were talking before the show about stealing material, and I said when I was an open mic. Are I totally stole? I still Greg fits in this stuff, like we stole it out, we spoke about it to each other. We said like If I'm on the road, I'm bombing, I'm doing your shit like we made agreements with each other, but even though I told those people his joke, and it wasn't my joke. I still felt was full shit and it like fuck with me for you, you know what I do. Every every in time now I do stand up my buddy SAM Braun, who was a great comic, died of pancreatic cancer about two months ago, and I was really close when I knew him for twenty years, and he was the first headliner ever seen, would crush, was from Boston and now ever
show, I steal one of his jokes. I just I just think it's like my little homage to him. I just put it in there. I just kind of slide it in just my little like, because I know I wrote on his deathbed, he unfortunately couldn't talk, but his wife read it to him. I wrote, I said, listen man, you know you're one of the greatest comics. Are you always made me laugh if there's any and have your material. I mean I fucking right and she read it to him and I don't think he I don't think he was able to. I don't think he was caused by whole peak in here, and I hope I made him laugh before he died yeah. I literally by the way I recorded to podcasts with him when he knew he was dying on my podcast. So it's pretty pretty cool. Pretty pretty moving. You could do my if I die do your die. That's what I want you some my notes. He my note. He had great bits. Man fucking great pets. He would talk.
Smallest will be behind the great go dude. No, no! You fucked the order, your man, your jokes, would be hard to steal, though, because, like I was watching you this weekend and one of things I loved was it was almost like you were you were. You were because I know a lot of this stuff is new, and so so much of it was just you kind of having an experience. It's like what I like about your standards, you're, always kind of having Xperience and you're doing it for you and you're working, something out and you're. Looking at how weirdly weird. We are structured as a society society. Our minds are why we do things that make no sense. Why contextually something makes sense, but then it doesn't in this case, and it was so fun to watch because I was like the comedy. Is almost secondary to the experience? Well, yeah yeah, it's funny! Yes, but you're almost like it do. I think I really think people are watching you kind of have your own very authentic and unique experience. Verbal experience, that's what
I felt like I come away with a very different perspective is very inspiring to me because I start writing differently. Really yeah. When I see you, I go, I really really nice. It's what I love about like having friends that inspire me. Always you've always done like it's just like that. That's what your friends should be. You know I know you. I have friends that are wonderful, that I play grab ass with, but then you have friends that are like that. Really inspire you to be better and push you just by their eggs, Well, they make you better. They make you that you make me better good. I like hearing. Unquestionably, we all make it to the press. You know what is right, you have. Your bar has always been home. I don't know how to describe where you place the bar, but I always would watch you and I sing at your best. I've seen you when your shit is fucking, so so tight and you just a machine gun like I remember when you were younger I'd, never seen you did something to a crowd in New York. I remember with Patty Jenkins. You are a
fucking machine gun. It was like literally his new Yorkers, like all these comics got him and then Joe Rogan gets up and it was literally like we were like looking at each other going. What the fuck is where the fuck is this, was what it was was somebody who had never taken a day off and had only been work. None being as authentic with their experience What a lot of people don't know about your early stuff. He was so good at impressions. You did all of it. It was funny, but really truth. So for me it was just literally like a fuck tsunami. We were like Jesus Christ, that's how you do stand up there. That's how you do it good luck, any buddy trying to follow that fucking ball of fucking energy, because you just come on like certain bits that I couldn't I couldn't follow myself like I had to do them last, like physical, like muscular, but really flexible. Like you do weird shit like fall into the splits. I remember one time we had a meeting memory was pitching a tv show and we're sitting on a couch, and it's like, I think, the air with
Eric Tannen Bomb and like big producers and you go and we were talking about martial arts and you go yeah, I'm flexible and I was like yeah, I'm flexible too anyway yeah, but you can't do this and you grabbed your ankle and fucking pull them up to do the splits in the air and they're all like what the fuck is high is that is like made of rubber and used to bring that shit to the to the stage, and it's just it's just really wild to watch. You can continue to grow change, your expression, you know. Well, you just keep adding information to to the to the pile you keep, adding your learned experiences so, if you're still into it You know you, you don't diminish your focus. My focus is a real wrestling match because I you know in Stephen Freshfields books. He talks about distractions and and and different things that you and I grew as I will. I certainly battle with those things, but I also battle with other things that I enjoy like you know it,
but he calls distractions like that. I think make me better, I think the better I get pool that seems really strange, but the sure I am at comedy and right now, I've never been better at comedy and I've never been better pool like I've got this weird thing going on. Where I can. I can tune in to it, to me. It seems to be about tuning into whatever the fuck I'm trying to do whether it's due get to whether it's pool whatever but stand up comedy. But I have to have that same sort of intensity and energy and if dwindle. If I drop below a certain level
can't rely on my learned experiences with stand up, I can't rely on the past. I have to constantly be maintaining a certain amount of current interest. So that's me, but right now the new style that that's what I was gonna say is what what's? What I think the secret to your success is. I always try to tell people this because people get very frustrated and discouraged by the process of accomplishment, because there's so many plateaus and you're. Always all it's like a lot of people. Well, this didn't work out, yeah and and and what what we and I'll just say this to everybody, because I've been pretty successful and I have people come up to me and they do you know when you do a show they want to take pictures made they, they look at you as a success in this business and you being one of my closest friends, you had a critique of my recent special on Showtime, which I wasn't very happy with. But what was great about it, as you said, hey Brian, you could be a great. You could be way better than you are now I started fucking Showtime special would be like. Well, you shot a special I'm on that were
my second, but you said you're you're, putting a little too much English on the ball, okay little too little too slick playing around and what that because what an out, of course, I trick of course. Of course I've done it. It's a great. I look back at my old stuff. Why did that? It's what you grosses feeling about that? Okay, because what what it, what it means is that no matter where you are in your career, you've always got to be. Assessing you've always got to be taken yourself to to task and kind of take a look at yourself, objectively, yeah and and go on. I got a I gotta. I gotta work a little harder, I'm watching my last special that I edited is the best shit I've ever done and I can't even watch it. I was like look so still look and that's likely what it says. Even when I stumble through like like one also a up the the the the one word, you know what one one we'll have one little stumble in there and it's just
watching a puppy get hit with a hammer the first time. First time I saw myself on camera with no should wrestler. I was fourteen and I I walked out on the mat when I- and I just think I was that bad is gonna planet. I I look at this video when I went well worse. Who is that with the fact? Is the kid with Tickets fuck is that it was me. I've never been more devastated. I was like I'm that skinny in a sing. I'm never wrestling again I'll go out in the burqa before I fucking around a single that that's that's a that's a that's a heart. My buddy wrote a book which I told you you should have them on your podcast. His name is Hunter Montes. He wrote a book called a straight. A conspiracy speaks ten languages fluently this kid graduated marble with a biochemistry degree. Okay- and I said why did you write the book he said? Well, I said I said: how do you learn? and languages fluently and he's fluent- and he said- oh it's because it's because I I know I can do it and everybody who learns languages or math thinks they can't because they have an emotional context around it. That's all
What does that mean? He said, I'm writing a book about it. I'll tell you about it later. I had him on my podcast. He wrote a book called the straight, a conspiracy and if you look at all all the map, how all the science around learning and what she did. One of the things that they find for sure is that people have these myths about themselves. I'm not a math person. I am a math person, I'm artistic, I'm, not artistic, I'm Well, I'm not musical. If you actually look at the science, that's being done about learning and why some people are very good at some things and others are not. I'm talking broad scope here. What you find is that the emotional context with which they learn something it has everything to do with whether or not they're going to excel at that everything. So, in other words, whatever emotional state, you approach learning something growing at something means everything. It's it's what it's all
if you are in a pleasant environment where somebody makes it fun for you, okay, you're gonna, learn it. Why are a lot of asian people? So the stereotype goes like chinese people good at math, and a lot of Americans aren't I'll. Tell you why? If you leave you read Malcolm Gladwell's book the outliers of my buddies book straight a conspiracy. It has to do with a culture that says well yeah this math problems really hard, and I guess I'll be here for the next two and one slash two hours. Americans air, like I'm, not gonna, sit here for two and one slash two hours. I got shit to Dio that this is fucking really hard guess what not a math person and we had. Then your parents go yeah, he's not good at math. Isn't it fascinating, though, that the culture that is the least inclined to do that hard work is the call. Sure that has the best art? Well, we also have the best math and science surprisingly, because we
We have images, competition to win, the competition is fierce and the possibilities are pretty intense. I also happen to believe that that that is the reason we're so good at art, and things is because it is. We place emphasis on the individual. Yes, your individual expression as what you can benefit from get freedom to do it. You can't be expressive right, doesn't having your podcast in Russia now well, I can. I can't even imagine, having my podcasts in American a few years. That's what's really a problem what's real problem is the more you get shit like this Nasha defense authorization ACT. The more these days Laws are passed that slowly but surely take away your right to say certain things they just outlawed protest at military funerals. The government has recently reinstated propaganda. They're allowed now they haven't been since the 1940s to app.
Actively use propaganda on the american people. That's legal now and all this shit is going on, while the internet is growing, while people's access to information is just flying at them. It's like this desk at last clawing attempt at a dying culture to hold on to power, and it's disgusting, it's disgusting, that anybody would ever allow the government to use propaganda, mean mislead, lie and and distort that Ruth for the public in order to to emphasize the point of that, you would give that power to the government is so beyond sick, but as long as you realize that that is always going to be the case and that you have to always be aware that is, the problem is that's happening now. The problem is that
trend it's happening and it takes a lot to stop a trend. It takes a lot to back it up. You know why how to? How do you stop you right to representative, I mean what happens after a while, as I start to feel like I'm not represented right. I start to feel like if I'm not a corporation with a lot of money to buy, but to buy lobbyists, no you're, not I don't have a way of influencing my government, for example, New York Times our ran an article recently about. I travel a lot as do you and when you walk through the two boxes.
Where you put your feet, you put your hands up, but I'm not talking about the phone that goes around you I'm talking about the two, the two box you walked out. Well, that's radiation and the New York Times wrote an article and it was about a week ago, if you guys want to look it up about the fact that they actually aren't too sure how much radiation we're getting. They think it might be one slash ten of a chest x ray some in some cases. More importantly, they don't maintain them as well. They had some crazy number of maintenance requests, mom, many of which were not met, you're, putting your trust into the TSA they're, probably good people doing the best they can and in some ways they do a great job. But the fact that I didn't know that I was being class and with radiation, no matter how small not doing it, I don't do that. I have them pat me down an did. Anybody ever get creepy with you when you ask for a pat down, I was hoping they would, but they didn't,
now to me creepy sexually. I mean I don't know they they Graham Hancock, whose of a guy who found the podcast force from England. He came to America, they didn't trust the radiation machine. He said they violently Aug almost assaulted all right now. I know you said it was very replied. They were grab his like the whole deal. Now they were really polite to me, actually doing all right, no problem, you know I think, it's you know who you get you know you might get some guy doesn't like english people, you know dude has an accent is like I'm not going to go through their impressive, the TSA and how professional I'm actually impressed with how courage you such a fucking Fox NEWS, contrary, and I would have known that you were going to say that if we brought up that about TSA Cunts, you know what actually statistically not like everybody. I have no like result by the way. Just for the record, everybody I violated. All my rules in the show, I don't believe, is an actor. I should be talking about anything, including Paul.
I can't help, but I'm like as an actor. How could you say as an actress, you're you're a comic if your comic, you should build the you know that help ridiculous idea that you should be able to talk about anything except religion or politics, well that that that alone is just like a cry or call rather to a middling state of mind, while the bombers that that ever to a non communication, you know, I think you, if you're not politically, committed to some extent Dennis at your own peril. If everybody wants to be ignorant about, what's going on in their world and by politics, then good luck, trying to change anything and, more importantly, good luck. To see what's happening? Most people don't have the fucking time. Man, that's a part of the problem. Most people have lives. They have jobs and children and all that other stuff that goes along with them hobbies. You have time to develop a philosophy. You don't have to worry about them in a shape that you had my My point is what you were saying earlier, so they don't feel like they're being represented, so they don't feel like their efforts put into it. Have any great reward. You know they don't. They feel
complete, there's a lot of people. I think a good percentage, more than half that feel completely alienated from the system and conservative estimate if you say that half the people in this country feel alienated from the system. That's a failing system, no matter how you look at it and the problem is people don't feel rewarded for investing in a failing system when a guy, like Obama, gets the Nobel Peace Prize and then sends thirty thousand more fucking troops to Afghanistan and everybody's, like Jesus Christ, man like what the system is this. Who would who would have said that? That's ok, who would have one of their sons to go? Who would want their brother to go? Get the fuck outta here. That's nonsense, that's craziness, but yet it's happening, so we don't feel repres. Nted. We feel too. I wonder if Obama himself feels a lot of ways like a like a listless play thing. I wonder you know what I mean like somebody. I bet you. His biggest complaint is the fact that he doesn't have
any power at all, I bet you that he makes it well. He knows that if he makes one decision he's going to appease fifty percent of the people and piss off the other, fifty percent it's gotta be a strange job. If you just stop and think about who you far before you become president, if you take out all the nonsense, the tinfoil hat stuff about the Illuminati running things and you, let's just pretend for a brief moment that may be. Elections are real okay, and maybe Obama is just a regular dude who with Senator who's, a regular dude who ran for president, who activated uh a big, well spring of hope in this people, and then they put him in the office and then once he gets in there, and then he has to deal with these international banks has to deal with. Things like Halliburton has to deal with people like Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld. Think about all the people that were in power before him think about people that he has to unit K with think about all the shit that went down in that office think about all the people that died all over the world because of the actions of the group of people he brought placed and think about
what that must feel like to step into those shoes and then all the sudden, you realize you are at the helm of Amare machine. You at the helm of a thing that is in every single part of the world, that it's also a huge octopus that is not being run by one particular now, it's being so many pilfered by a bunch of different interest, but they are profiting like massive massive amounts on war. Also, Raytheon and all those companies that have a lot of money off of what what they, what do Eisenhower called the industrial? and so as a as a present Do you feel, like you know, when you get in there, you just slowly try to put on the brakes. I mean how much control, does a guy have 'cause, it doesn't seem like much. I think we deviated much from Bush to Obama at all and in fact they crack down on secrecy issues and crack down on prosecuting people leaking information and Obama was, was very, very much about the drone program. Special force
he made a joke about using the drones. If someone tried to drink to date, his daughters he made joke in one of those you know they do is one of those functions. Where does one liners Obama got up there and he made a joke about? If you were, eating his daughters. He has one word for you: drones yeah! Well, it's kind of funny when you're the president. That's not when thousands of civilians have been murdered by drones, thousands of innocent civilians- and I believe I don't know the number is now, but it was in the thousand. Someone sent me all the statistics on Twitter. I get killed a lot of bad guys, but a but again with what we're time of farm a factory farming when you have people in Nevada and Florida who go to a room and they kill people who who are thousand miles away via you know, camera and with the strong something about that right. You're, my joke was the the war here on twenty years, gonna be the chubby guy with huge Thomas was just
Jarritos and we dress. Yes, he's a gamer he's been hooked up on alpha brain there. There is a. There is a psychological model when you're removing yourself from the cool. You know when your marine, your they're, trying to be just shoot a guy, and you know you're you're running in your and you you just see the guy guys have when you're in a room in your country, and you go home after after operating these drones and killing whatever it might be. Maybe it's one person in the twenty five, whatever it is, or you drop a thousand pound bomb on Sugar Hellfire missile. Whatever comes out of those things, that's kind of really that that raises a lot of questions. It raises a lot of questions when, with the removed from the actual experience of killing, and we were talking about earlier, it's all connected. The sociopath does not have that feeling of connection and only feels pleasure when they win and what is war but completely sociopathic behavior, and what is friendship other than socio pathic behavior,
the connection that you get with people being the most important thing we were talking about when we doing this podcast that we've created an environment. We've created a there's, it's not as simple Evans. This is a show. It's a bunch of people tune into the show and getting like a positive thing out of it and having conversations like this and conversations take place in their head and they experience it. They learn from it. They gives them hope it gives them a mind, set that they can. They can accomplish something with it gives them a fucking people. I've had come up to. Oh dude, since I've listen to podcasts, I've lost
pounds I start checking kale shakes. I think, come to me every show it's incredible. Also. It's also important. When you have a debate, we have a discussion like we do to to actually take a look at the where to place you where to place the the focus, for example. What is a well I'm a well the military to what the military I'm there? A lot of people in the military who are carrying out these who are doing the things that never agreed with the war. In the first place I mean we, we have a civilian government controls the military that makes these decisions for the military to military. Just carries out orders. That's how our government works. The military has a job to do few sentiment to a war zone. They're gonna get the job done and a lot of guys. I mean I I I know I I want you know. I went to Afghanistan, but I I know enough people in the armed forces, a lot of lot of men in the armed forces and women have an ideology that they believe it's it's this country, it's the things they'll do when they come in there they're loyal servants and they rest their lives, and they go do their job and a lot of get main. They lose their arms. They lose their friends. Everything else I think that when you start to
look at how this war is gone over the past eleven years, and I'm talking about the palace on Iraq, you've gotta, be gotta, be very, very conscientious about not only how this really started. Who are the who are the architects? Who is the intellectual force? Who is the argument behind it how did this happen? How did this turn into a huge snowball? And the reason you should know about that is because your lives in other people's lives depend on it future yeah. We just don't feel like they do now. Another situation, you know it's. It's not weird, though. That's what's really going on, I'm sorry, it's not we're going to get ourselves into another situation. Somebody else is going to do. Well, my buddy, my buddy. I think I put it on red bands thing, but on best quad, but my buddy, who I interviewed, who is a special forces? Guy who's, a real, I don't know what he does, but I know he's very much involved and use the bad guy. I ever knew growing up and he said he was. He just said about the war effort. He watched what's happening in Iraq, for I guess seven years and he said Iraq is can't
now we've created a mini Saddam in the sky, Maliki it he is now a she's, a shiite. He is got police squads that report directly to him. So what we do we go into Iraq, wow there's this notion that well he's got the fourth largest army in the world. We got to stop him from you know: dropping a weapon and Akis hands as the arguments and stuff what we've done in some ways, if you look at a rock, with the exception of Kurdistan service that we really destroy that country, a lot of people are dead and we've put into place. Somebody who is keeping his people or has the potential of keeping his people in the same kind of oppression technically as Saddam did now. What is the objective? What are we doing? Was this worth? It wasn't worth killing all those people. Was it worth all the soldiers and come back and many more were wounded. That's the question and, more importantly, what lay
since can be learned. What do we have to learn from Iraq and Afghanistan? What do we have to learn? So we don't get ourselves into the situation again. Sometimes, war is inevitable men. It is that there was an inevitable one I was one we got tricked into okay, but me, and it will we have, how do you? How do we not get tricked the next? Well, we we have the internet now. I think what we have a completely different sort of playing field than what existed back when pushing Cheney dragged us into the Iraq war. I think the internet is evolved far past, where it is that's why things like wiki leaks are so terrifying to the powers that be it's real hard to get away with shit. The internet, though there's so much countervailing information. To like you get one argument, then you get another yeah, but that's just debate. I'm talking about straight information. I think that the Access to information is ultimately change in the world. We live in and it's happening so quickly and these having conversations really weren't commonplace. When we were kids when we
one thousand six hundred and seventeen are parents weren't having these kind of conversations they just weren't it different world. We know more about how things work, because of that it makes it harder and harder to accomplish fuckery still going still going on right now, but ultimately, it's going to die off in order for us to have You know any sort of religious society we're going to have to evolve past and realize, just as you and I realize, as friends and as members of our community, that it's not necessary and that kind of energy that you put out to control people into you to profit from other, people's losses, is non beneficial to you as well. You just because you're pulling it off under the guise of a corporation doesn't mean your immune into the negative rebound of that, because you're not and you want to call it karma, you want to call it
What goes around comes around whatever you want to call it. It's real okay! I have experienced it. I am walking proof of it. My whole life is proof of it. I have been the negative things that I've ever done in my life. I have felt in great deep detail and rebounded as much as possible to turn that terrible feeling into positive. Energy, and that is why do you think that a happy person my whole life but the? But do you think that's because, because I I always wonder I I I try to help people a friend of mine who's, going through a tough time. Now- and I and I realize that the one of the reasons that he's going to a hard time as he's not in any way, actually, we he confronted asked himself what he wants. Yeah you can't be. You can get a guy to do that, though, which but don't you think that what that says is just after the fact he's already you've always been able to see and technicolor what you wanted and what you wanted to
Well, you know what it is. First of all, it's just pressing forward. That's constant that that constant need to, get new shit to do different things to the constant need to be in motion. The constant need to be doing something, whether it's doing jujitsu or playing pool or right. Jokes are getting on stage that forward momentum. That is a constant. That is. That is the reason why I've done everything. That's like and right it's and you can transfer it's like the meal. Multimo Sashi quote once you understand the way. Broadly, you can see it in all things The idea that, once you lock on to what it is to really focus and get good at something, then you.
But it's also that if something is really satisfying to accomplish things, it's really satisfying to write things like really satisfying to do show hasn't taken, I don't know, even know why did it, but I've always want to play the drums. So I'm I've I've been taking drugs for a year now it's actually changed, not only my comedy, but my sports like, like I I pick up on, should really fast now, because with the drums on having to do something one thing with my foot: one thing with this thing with this one: this so my brain is firing its firing. So it's change Where I read is changed. You stand up, it's really wild uh, it's a really good mental and I'm listening differently. I'm never gonna be in a band band. Right, but you just enjoying it. I love that I think that's very important to life and I think of people like there's, there's like a lot of people that have falsely rewarded being a lazy, cunt and
I'd rather just sit in front of the tv chill with and beers Watch tv. Let me tell you something: this is the real reality of life. If you don't, something you won't appreciate it. That's why people win the lottery and they lose all their money within a year when earn something you appreciate it is. It is a cold and stay fast rule of life and, if you're laying around on the couch watching Tv- and you haven't done anything to deserve that, doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't, you feel, like a fucking loser, but when I do Something like if I write, and I blast out like three or four hours of really good shit like ha. Yes, I feel good, I feel fired. I can't wait to do a show. I go watch tv
and I could enjoy it. I can go watch mountain men and I enjoy watching these fucking guys. Here's what I think is really like works for me as I go, I sit down and I go like this. I go. What do I want? What what do I want to do, and what am I gonna regret not doing when I'm ninety yeah, I say to myself what I really want to do. I go and what I want to do in three months or six months and stuff like that, and then I literally I structure my day, and I think you can do this, no matter who you are your structure today, so you go you wake up every morning. No one action, just one action may be to actions whatever what action can I take today just to get a little closer to that that goal I just wanted just to get a little closer, whatever, whatever whatever it is. You know maybe twenty minutes of practicing your takedowns or what you might wanna get my black belt jujitsu I wanna be able to play drums in a band. I want you know whatever it might be. You know I will speak a language. You know fucks call me during my podcast God, damn it Brian red Band, maybes calm, tell anyone shows down.
Hey boo, you live on the air. His MIKE's out. It's really quite what he keeps backing up: that's what it is yeah Oh really, yeah. You can't be talking back there all casual bitch. Ok, I gotta get in thanks Brian. This is technical information delivered via telephone. Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Redban on the scene follow him red band on Twitter and me Brian counter at Bryan Callen on Twitter. I respond all my twitters by the I we we were we talking about. I wasn't saying very important, but the this. This idea that we were talking about before of of community of you know of all influencing each other in a positive way, the
I could see lost in big numbers and the problem is. We could have a great tribe of like fifty people and keep it together and have the most awesome utopia. You know what, as I've heard boulder describe boulders like a really small mountain community but it's so small. It's like really almost is like a functional working utopia, but I think that we could do it's possible to do that as a country. We just have to get more people into. To thinking correctly and most people, or just never taught how to think they're never taught they can manage their consciousness. They've never taught there. Been taught that are patterns that are mine, can go down that self destructive, completely self destructive
it also totally unnecessary and you have to learn like all the times. I've blown my cool for nothing, and still do I mean it might be in my car retard and hit the horn fucking pass somebody just so pointless, so stupid and freaked out today at the airport, and it's almost always a sign that I'm doing too much. It's always a sign of some sort of external stress. It's affecting you know whatever it is it, but you can see that if you can see that and if you can go in the right, correction. If we could fuck and influence a giant group of people to go,
in the right direction. Then you really can change something. Well, not really start. Switching. That starts. That's. That starts with individuals really asking himself. It starts with with inspiration. It doesn't only start with individuals ask themselves what they want. Sometimes it starts with inspiration where you realize, there's no, there's no difference between them and me. They were losers too. I was I've been a lose her. I have been failure in my life, hard core hardcore like when people I've had people say like her, your bomb on stage, I'm like oh my Christ, but I bomb I bombed so hard, I've bombed so hard with no one. Whoever watched me that day would have ever thought that I could ever be funny. I had a girl, send me a short film. Her name is Diana and she sent me a film and she wrote she wrote. Basically a movie, a short film about her experience with a guy on a date, and the guy was
and she never told her that she sent it to me and I and all the lines that guy was making saying with lines. I had said and let me tell you something man I called her up and I went. I got I'm so sorry. I was such a fucking arrogant, prick such a dick 'cause. I didn't even understand you are a woman and I had a projected notion of what you were, what you thought, and I thought I was so much smarter than you were and you looking at me like. I was a guinea pig in a fucking maze like like a rat in a maze like literally like look at this monkey. Talk to me like I'm, an idiot, try to fuck me yeah, exactly and he's just hit me with all these things and he's just a dick, Literally I looked at, I was just appalled. I was appalled that who I was an just because I didn't know any better. I just I had preconceived notions of what women were preconceived this is how they thought preconceived notions of what a man was supposed to be here by the time you get to your 20s and you're having experiences with women. These are not the
first of all social experiences when you're involving people that are sexually attracted to each other are very complicated, they're, very awkward, there's plenty of room for misunderstanding. There's plenty of room for offending people, putting out bad vibes being too forward. Being too you know it is it is it is. It is a very strange sort of a situation away, so we're not good at navigating. You know- and you know when you're young, especially you say the dumbest fucking shit and most of time you fucking hate yourself after it's over. You know, you know you didn't want to do that. It's just it's like you. He's thrown in a major league baseball game and someone telling you to hit that ball. That fucking things flying at me are exactly you really not prepared. For that extreme experience, no manual for life, I mean well, not only that I mean how much did your fucking pair. I don't know how much your parents talked about. How much did your parents teach you about dating? Oh no I want to talk about that with my son. I was like I didn't really. I wasn't really talk, women, the complex
the of the female psyche: yeah. I'm definitely gonna have to have a talk with my son about that, but yeah yeah. That's that's going to be that you mean that's, that's it is it so important to to try to actually raise a kid that can understand. What's next on the horizon, give him like a little heads up of like what this is, what I went through. So this is probably that would fucking help a lot. So when it comes to dating my fucking parents, many dating advice is also because you have a you. You also given a very weird archetypal notion of what masculinity is to like the dead. That's also like be what I didn't even know: what uh? What Amanda find was it was difficult. I had an example. It's to everybody, it's different. You know I mean what did a man is. Is person who does? This is what I believe a man is a person who does what he wants and what makes him happy as long as he's not hurting other people who actually follow through and does what he wants as opposed to someone who someone's bitch. If you, let me tell you something if you're a gay guy, okay and you're not out there blowing guys because you're worried about what other people think you're some
is bitch whether you realize it or not, you're the the of all the prejudice, people that want to stop people from being gay, and if you are a man, you go out there and suck some cock that's reality. That's true because that's what life is what I like you, you probably don't, but it's my right to like what I like and being a man is going after what you like and if you want to take the easy way out and take some some job that you know you can do instead of pursuing a career in and writing books or pursue a career racing horses, whatever the you're out of the help press fielding going. But the best example is that you may have degree in comparative literature. You may have a Phd in comparative literature and teach comparative literature, but guess what you should have written a novel. So that's just a form of high tech procrastinate. You know so you're right, I mean it's really a question of going What you want- and you know real man- could be a guy who fights in the cage or a guy who who's a nurse in a fucking hospital. You know yeah
whatever it is that you're doing whatever you're supposed to do wherever you're supposed to place your energy, giving helping and growing that's that's what we need to teach kids and that's so there's no there's no better or worse. If you're supposed to be a carpenter, that's what, if you really enjoy, have a buddy was a carpenter back home and he's fuck. Loves it. He loves buildings. He really loves the art of putting together a great room. He loves it when it's done, he loves that he can in this room and it's all mapped out you following the architects plans and you're laying down things next thing. You know you know three months later, whatever it is, look at the fucking awesome kitchen. You guys just feel totally shit like he gets a deep feeling of satisfaction from that and it makes a good living he's, got a good company doing that. But that's it's because that's what he's passionate about it's because he actually enjoys his work and it doesn't
it's that or if it's being in a fucking band or if it's you know being a stand up or whatever it is. If you don't follow that shit, that's when you your fucking yourself, man, our our dear friend, SAM Sheridan, said he got I was talking about how I want it and you have see every time I watched a little part of Maine dies 'cause. I want to be a fighter, so you don't. I know, but that's what he said. He goes Brian because Brian You are supposed to, and I've always been supposed to be a stand com. You feel down what you're supposed to do. Did you? You were not supposed to be a fighter or anything else we weren't doing comedy yeah. I remember you told me you go your miss out on the best thing, the world. What do you? What are you doing? I got back into it because of you, but I also, I remember watching Dane cook back in the day and I was like that. Dude is crushing a room and I want I gotta get back into this We wanted to crush, I just loved, I loved it. I was like I'm watching the math. So much just stop. I
I don't know 'cause, I'm crazy, but you weren't doing real stand up. When I first met you when I first met you, I couldn't get spots and I was like fuck it and I was trying to be an actor. We first started hanging out. You had this act that was like you had taken every alternative act that you saw and try to duplicate it. Talking about it going to isn't even you man, what are you doing here? there in here you doing what these fucking weirdo judgmental like dorks want you to do like you're doing, what you think they're going to enjoy from you satisfying to me now, especially about the stuff I'm doing now, is you're being yourself this weekend at the can come and go San, Diego amazing club by the way, and- and it's filled with great comedy, if you're, if you're living in San Diego for San Diego finally House, like a real comedy club and that Chicago August 23rd they have national headliners there. Every weekend, like the comic store in the hallway, is a great club, but you could get fucked there and they could send down one of those old school headliners from like the 1970s. It has a written, a joke in one hundred years. It doesn't work anywhere else other than the comedy store. They'll send
down the hallway. On occasion, I don't know if they're still doing that, the back of the day, you would look at the line up and go all my god. No, that's the headliner! No you almost what I call the people and go. Please stay off because there that show would be so bad it would. They would never want to go, see, stand up comedy again now, and it's true is it: was you get older and if you're trying to be a real trying to do something? It's it's. What happens? I think what's supposed to happen as you become a comic, as you start ripping away all that other stuff and more and more of who, you really are yeah is kind of express That's what's so satisfying to Maine. You know yeah for sure we're learning how to talk on stage. Instead, if you were just like you were did when I first met you, you were doing a vague thing on rabbits out of hats, and then you became just this like really silly guy yeah. I was like really silly, but I was always weird it out by the fact you were so silly, but then we would have these deep, intense conversations. I was like wow where's that on stage and then I thought about I'm like well, you know that's a choice like that's a an artistic thing like look at
Berg, one of my favorite comics ever and you know, there's no message, and that was all silliness and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a silly goose is a large part of Maine. It's always. I can't help, but it's funny that you're so intense often it's like there is a real balanced and it's a good quality that you have that it's missing a lot of men with a somehow another equate weakness with silly you, because I don't think I think the biggest mistake a man can make is taking him. So yes, don't take yourself too seriously. Man there's always somebody faster, stronger funny or better smarter it. Just just do only you can do and always don't be afraid to fucking. Take the pressure off yourself. Man don't be afraid to kind of just make fun. Yourself there's nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of power in that You yeah, you don't understand that when you try to not take the hits that the
rebounds double triple the effect, because you're not learning you're. Not only are you not taking the hit but you're not learning from the head, because every time you take the hit it makes you better. You got to take the head. Emotionally, you got to take the hit psychological. You got to take the hit with your ego, you got it, you walking fail in life, it's important ingredient to success, the the other thing that I don't you agree. One percent agree with that: the Hunt percent and and the other the other thing that that the the way as you were talking, I was thinking about the other thing you get from it, which is when, when you take when you allow yourself to be a little bit of the goose or you allow yourself to be vulnerable or whatever it is and make fun of yourself. What will open. Is it people around you feel safer and what they do. Is they won't be on their guard? So a lot of times we come in a situation if you kind of situation from a power angle or whatever that per
the card will go up immediately and you won't see who they really are. Well, let's think about this. How disappointing is it when you meet someone and you have like a level of adulation for them? You you, you know you're, either famous or you your fan and they're a deck. The the rebound is dawning. It's stunning, and hurtful I mean it's incredible, but On the other side, when you approach someone and they're like really normal and nice, what a warm feeling that is what it's like, because you're coming at them in an unfair way. It's like we had Bert Kreischer on the ice House chronicles and he was talking about his experience with Gene Simmons and apparently that show the x show and Gene Simmons was a fucking complete cunt to him. Gene Simmons Like told him not to talk. Like said, I told him, he wouldn't be interviewing him. There's going to be this girl interview him, and he was a huge kiss fan before this. So when this happened it was complete really devastating to burp and how
Burt relay this and then having all the sick. She shared her experience like I was talking about. I met Robin Williams last week and but he was real normal, like really nice guy like, but it was still. It was fucking, Robin Williams. Yeah I mean like he didn't have to be normal. He didn't have to be a nice guy. It could have been weird because when you meet someone like that, there's a weird imbalance. If you're talking to Tom Cruise, I don't care how many gay jokes you have in the back your head, you want those won't pop in your head. When you meet him, you like holy shit. I hope you like, I did a reading with him for three hours and I spent an hour and have them at a party and believe me I was like I was like- maybe he'll be my best friend on by the way and by the way, I'm a straight guy. I think he's straight actually, but I shut your fucking mouth. All I know is I'm looking looking. I'm going isn't really good. Looking guy was like you know what he's Tom cruise. We were really we're about. Having a conversation, it's Andrews wanted to like he's? Ok I'll, be your best friend you make out with me for ten minutes I'll, be like I got to make out what time I have to think about it, because I could be best friends. Well, I think that I hold on one of the job. What I make out with Tom Cruise, what
one thousand percent as a straight man. You know why, because I'd be able to tell you about, are you fucking kidding me? Are you get what yeah for the record for the record open mouth I'd be like Tom come over? Well, he's got a radio he's kind of pretty so yes, I would would you enforce your weight on him a little bit and press him backwards just to make a little bend to your will with without question, but I'd also be look. I did you'd be the first phone call. I make you'll be the first ball compact. I go dude. I sit down for a second uh, I'm a straight man I Bob slapped, and I mean Bob Slot for ten minutes with Tom Cruise and his hands were willing to make that happen with John Travolta. We just have to keep track simply can't to. He wouldn't do what John to gay, his gay yeah sure like I'm, not I'm not gonna, make guys like what my agent sent me a a things violently to audition for square spoke. You know, which was that show on Showtime and and the first thing so I have to be making out with this guy. I was like listen call management,
I'm not a homophobe, I'm really not, and I'm actually in favor of gay marriage and all that. But I you got to know who I am and Bryan Callen, I'm straight and, if you think, I'm waking up every fucking morning at six hundred am and go on and set and making out with some dude after after getting rid of my coffee but you're out of your fucking mind and there's not enough money that I would do that with here's. The problem this is one of the reasons why I wouldn't be into doing it. It's not that open minded, but I don't like watching get guys kiss. So I don't. I don't want to do a movie where Christ, kids, I'm sending out back on a movie screen. You want me to do actually, where song ever will I never? I never saw Brokeback mountain. Actually. I saw we also made a great five been a bit about it. His fork in where is I
laughs through so much that movie some of the child? You know why, because I enjoyed it, if you were, there is a lot. I have this conversation with. Somebody like you know like well, you know it's because of your narrow minded point of view the you didn't enjoy about. I enjoyed the out of it. I bet I enjoyed it more than you yeah, okay, because I enjoyed it as even if yes, it is a beautiful love story and is sad and oddly romantic yeah. It's still also hilarious. I enjoyed both aspects of it, I'm not close minded or homophobic, but I enjoyed the love thing that they had going on, but I also enjoyed killing like a fucking school child every time they were kissing each other in your bed. I remember you were like two men making out is in fact helaire
yeah it's hilarious. It's not there's nothing wrong with it being funny. It's not like! I'm telling you not to do it, but if you're telling me there should be less funny in the world, you can go fuck yourself and if you're telling me that what you want to do, if I think it's funny, hurts you, I think you're a bitch, because if you start making fun of having sex with girls, I'm not going to I'm not feeling to get her goodwill you're a majority. There are minority, get the fuck over it. If you like, fucking guys, you should laugh your ass off when dudes talking about you fucking guys, 'cause, that's what you enjoy humor is the greatest fucking equalizer speakers, speaking of which you kill me, but I have to go down in ten minute: podcasts inseminate, Positano fuck itself. I know, but I gotta do it because they're waiting for me, I gotta, be there at seven. You can later going to be late morning to lay down to kill me it'll, be fun, no they're not gonna, be fun. I love running internet man. Listen, we have to keep throwing for a little go through the ten minute. We have so much to talk about you being an american comedy company in San Diego this weekend, I'll be at the American Comedy Club Comedy Company
american Comedy company San Diego. It's called right or is it the American comedy club? You might be right. It's american comedy club and holding San Diego Thursday, Friday Saturday and I'll be at the Twitter Chicago Improv everybody, and if you work on August 23rd 24th confusing the fuck outta people do don't want more than one just one, just one: it's american comedy company, yes, America comedy. I can't wait since San Diego ca is a fucking awesome club. It's one of those like really low ceiling, intimate clubs that you know like the comedy works in Denver like the old I love the comedy works in Denver yeah, it's close, it's good as it gets me and Doug Benson and Brendan Walsh. We were in town in this. We knew that too, at the Paramount and one of the things we're saying we're walking by the comedy website. There's no better club. There's never been a better club. Inventing the comedy works in Denver. Perfect size is the perfect. Ears, don't move nobody,
move the chair in your foot. The chairs are locked in place. There's a table in between each chair sit the fuck down. Here's is the show everybody packed in there. The wait staff staff's awesome. The shows are fantastic. You walked by the comedy, works you Can you see one headliner after another, national name after national name and she's, an individual she's not like the improv she's, not a part of a giant corporation when he is the shit is great. I love that late. If you're listening, Wendy you're the shit, you are the best. I love you that club is fucking. Tremendous and she's got another one then, but it's such a good time good time, yeah well, Denver is fucking awesome period in the paramount was awesome too and thanks everybody voice wondering I've always wanted. This is going to sound so weird, but I've always wondered like what the building like that with all that laughter over all those years. Like I wonder and then you take something terrible like the torture chambers of Abu Ghraib or something that the Saddam kept all his people and stuff. I wonder why
composition of that. The the walls are wonder if there's anything that permeates this hocus pocus this, but I've always wondered I've if, in some ways the material like of the of the the organic material, like the wood, would be a different kind of composition. Then in a toy chamber, something is it. I want all that positive energy for solid negative energy. You know I'll. Do that. The other thing, the message in the water document to yeah that that's an idea for a kill me with all your login horse- God, damn yeah I looked into I was like- are you guys were lying to me and the line moved the whole song? Yes, because you block I. I know that there's there's places like the ice house is a perfect example that
been so much laughter in that place that it feels good going in. I don't know if that's my personal association, though it very likely could if you let me into that place from the outside blindfolded, and I thought it was in a bakery, and you know I know you know it. You know it. It's also she's because my friend how about this, my friends, a surfer, was a competitive surfer right when, when she hears waves for almost with waves, like relaxing her heart's just really fast. She gets really nervous. Well, yeah, that's that's makes waves waves, she gets. She gets scared and competitive and she she can't relax she's like she's in fight mode knows that she's about to attack away. Well, you know when I was a kid for years. I couldn't go to fights 'cause. I did right the way it felt that's where I got real nervous. I would like. I would think that I was supposed to fight next and I would- and it was just a weird part of me like I would try to enjoy it, but there was like until I was like in my 30s until I had really resolve the fact that I was no longer going to compete,
I would get nervous. This was the first event is the first UFC I've ever been to where I was totally relaxed really I would go to USC is the reason I don't go to your socioeconomic tickets. From you by the way Congrats to Donald Sarona, can't stand motherfucker so well, he saw whoa what a good guy. What around that was seventy seconds of crazy one of my favorite things I was doing stand up and they came to the comedy works in danger, and I could see Donald Strong, his hat going up and down laughing at my jokes and after a dude, fucking abs, getting a fucking ab, workout him and name like an underwear model, t he's a stud girl, girls, the girl. I was with, like my friend's wife, my my girl. They were like looking at, they were looking at Donald. They literally like like my friends, wives. They were like that guy. I just want to touch him yeah. There was one it's very inappropriate around him because he's a handsome fox. Is that weird, when guys wives, kit creeper on,
dudes like right in front of their when when you got an Alfa male like fucking, it's not just that. It's when you have such a disrespectful relationship get a lot of people engaged in this, like so over their relationship. Yeah. A lot of people have that weird I'll insult you you insult me, and you know you go back and forth a little bit. It's not we're not in each other's corners, no looking out for each other. You got a bad relationship and you just you, haven't, worked it out and you know you're not trying to just stuck in this little fucking in and then they're around man, man grow body. I want to take pictures and squeeze my they would come out to me. Go on. I want to talk to him, say hi to him. I wanna meet him. I'm like your husband's right. There look at his ass was that they were like living there all over. Well those kicks that he throws to develop, that she thought that he s fucking straight. That was holy shit. That was a crazy fight and it was right when I just got done saying that he has to be very carefully can't get overconfident is Melvin, can fuck you up
one punch and then both so explosive. Oh, my god that left hook, Melvin landed too that could and Donald kept it together. 'cause he got Friday. You said right when we, when were you? Ok, after that, Poncini goes right now, yeah yeah, he was not ok and he still through the kick see that's how confident he is in his ground games, one of things about Cerrone. I love that he'll fucking. Let those kicks fly man 'cause! If you take him down man, this chances are he's going to threaten you from the bottom. He doesn't get ground and pounded now and he threatens dudes with triangles and armbars he's not just long. He goes for it man. He had taxi attacks on the ground, so he's not holding back so he's willing to throw even after getting tagged like that way, still throws a head kick. Fifty five is so I want to see him fight, Jose Aldo phrase it is yeah. Well, although is most likely going to move to fifty five eventually he's still young, there's only twenty five and he's having a hard time making weight. Although he's had a less of a hard time of it lately, because he cut back on the weight, lift the weight lifting he was
bulking up in between you know, fights and poo mass and then the cut was harder. Fifty five is just out division of killers yeah well, so it's forty five minutes already file shared every in every weight class is growing. Like thirty is growing. Now this is like. There's this Eric Press to the for this weekend. This, like it's constant, this there's so many good fighters, man, it's the the the the whole like division like the whole UFC like every single division, is expanding and getting deeper and deeper and deeper. The heavyweight division is getting deeper and deeper and deeper. They could have came Velasquez versus Jingle Santos on New Year's eve, really fuck, already dude, it's gonna be 29th, and if they're going to rematch after came destroyed, Bigfoot came just
and through Bigfoot Silva. I just caught him up last time on the ground. The sudden something's such a good boxer were scary. I'm glad I'm not a fighter man just every time. You step in that that octagon you're going a war. There's this thing it's what we talked about earlier. It has to be what you really want to Dio. It has to be what you're really driven to Dio. It has to be your calling and if it's not call, you better get the out of there because it's got a junior dos Santos another in the ring, and it is his calling when Anderson Silva steps in the cage he doesn't wish. She was in a mariachi band, no mariachi, whatever I'm not seen since ready to you up. That's what he's there for that's. Does these yeah I'm not supposed to be doing anything else. I I'm I I just you know and in the the March for error. Now, is so small with these guys, this so good. Some of these guys the level is insane in the levels increase. The difference between when I was watching the speed difference between Cerrone and Gallard, and the fights before was astronomical.
They were both throwing hay makers, you know, and that is part of it, is that they were throwing the kids they knew each other very well. I can't believe the Lord went down that was such a vicious thing. He's really bad. Well, Donald him, absolutely perfectly. He climbed am with the left Shin to the head. He likes that after I kick with the switch Heathrow, that's so well to the head man. It's such a powerful shot, a lot of guys, don't throw it that hard. So there's dudes that stand there and they'll take one of those on the gloves. You know they're kind of like recognize that it's coming, but just will try to avoid it. Instead, try to trying to move like you can't do it to Anderson, like you, try rich Franklin tried. The high switch Kenderson Anderson sees it. Coming knows what you're going to do just bends, it slides off the shoulder. He looks right at your tricks he's the fucking matrix is incredible, but Cerrone's got so much power in it and he saw so so much dexterity with his legs it just
calling it just come. It's almost like it's shocking how quick it gets there so confident that he was very confident. In the right hand, he laughed at landed afterwards was just a bomb just pinpoint was like boom. It was like flying at him all his power directly on the jaw, and that was the knocked Henderson next Nate does Nate Diaz. Does oh boy yeah? That's going to be incredible, I love yeah, well, a tough fight man that a lot of people thought Frankie EDGAR won that fight almost unanimously. The professionals on twitter thought to be one of the toughest guy at that he is this tough. A small guy in the world Frank enters a mother. Did I you know, look I I I I thought he won the fight afterwards by decision, but it was it was. You know you to. I would have to honestly go back and watch it again and
and and actually score it with my mouth shut, to make an accurate assessment of whether or not my feelings after the fighter over are accurate. You know I'm really careful about saying what I think when it's a real close fight like that until I actually sit down and watch it as if I was scoring it because, if you're watching it as a commentator, you're also involved in it you're trying to be entertaining. You know, I'm trying to like explain what's going on and I don't have to like and in order to do that and do like a really effective calculation of whether or not one person, one or the other, especially when it's close, because it was the fight on fashionably was close. There's no doubt about it was a very close fight. No doubt about the people thought Henderson wanted agree with that. The people have thought EDGAR wanted agree with that. It was a tightly contested fight so to really watch that and judge it. You gotta really shut your fucking mouth and sit there with the path. You got another game and you gotta mark things down an if you added the best would be if the judges had access to the information that Goldie and I have access to like we
access to all the take down like the end of the round. We we sell by giving the comes out as a fairly recently okay, but the last few fights who's taking stock of that who does yeah it's UFC staff, okay, so the production staff in there watching everything, they're counting strikes, and there is a whole like the the you know, this segment of the show will go to effective strikes. Takedown attempt submission attempts, so we get Look at hard numbers as well as like our gut feeling about things like there's. Sometimes a guy will land like little Pittypat shots in the land, a bunch of am but the other dude lands, one haymaker without haymakers worth more than those pittypat shot, so sometimes numbers don't necessarily mean, but it's good to have that information to add, in addition to your calculations on how you feel about it just watching it, so you need almost more than you watching it on your own 'cause, I'm not just watching it. I'm getting fed information as I'm watching it that's ideal for a judge
not that it would really. You know I just not that it wouldn't help to clean house and get people in and know what the fuck is going on in an actual fight. That certainly would be, but I also they need access to information. The way we have they finally gave them monitors they get monitors now, which is very nice surprise. They they gave it. Yeah did not everywhere, but the work done in certain places motion would strike very import. Very important, as well as to have angles on shots, you know there. Sometimes it looks like you guys yet landed when really the guy fell yeah. I think I slept yeah, you know, there's there's all these weird jobs. No, it's not! You know it's very hard. It's not rewarded when the good at it. Now it's only critiquing the saka. You know I'm. I swear to God, man when, when I have a weekend like this weekend, where we did the show at the out- and we did the comedy- works in Denver and meet all these cool people and everything. It really does feel like this crazy fucking dream life man it
so fun, you've earned everything is so fun, you've earned it and you've created yeah. Nobody earns this dude. Nobody deserves this. This is some crazy lucky in just that. You aren't because it didn't even exist before it's, so you say you aren't being the, but you don't stand for it before I was a commentator than the other people have done it, but I'm saying before, wouldn't you know when I was a young man thinking about this is an aspiration. This job didn't even exist right. You know, I'm, like that's just remember. Armor, when you got it, that's when you really hey, I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna do the USC. I came down with you and I met tank Abbott, but she's. It's so fortunate. Yes, last make ridicule yeah Jeff that great guy yeah it's great. I love that Guy Olympic Gold Medalist yeah it's so it's so strange to have like that kind, a life. You know it's strange to have all these cool friends into how
dream weekend when we were all handed around you and me, and Joey Dheas and Brenda walls and dug that's it. We were eating after the show yeah all right after the you have seen, allow train good wine drinking good wine, eaten sliders and Buffalo wings and is just killing it all of us laughing at each other. Yeah I mean that's like we Tional Falken, fortunate man, That's what that's what they so for message like we're. So lucky we get to do what we do so fortune. Yeah in every aspect in the friends that we have in our occupations, and you know it's it's it's it's completely amazing, but to to do what we did to get like this this book. Posse of comedians together, for that show like at the paramount that is really important is one of the things we were talking about before you got there. I was telling them like. I was thanking them for coming and I was like you guys like there might be
two thousand people out there for this show. But if you guys weren't with me, it wouldn't be half as far right, because literally wouldn't even be fifty percent sure it was. You have a fraternity. You can share it with. I love watching Joey Diaz get off stage with a giant smile on his face just laughing his ass off. My five hundred is so authentic and original. We had some really good talks, he's the best I'd love. What I say I'm going to be here, another ten minutes at least ten minutes, ten minutes ten minutes the supposed to be there and then they can suck it It's the ten minute. Podcast I get out. You know, that's not a good show, I know, but I got it. I got no, it's actually gonna wait by that. I go to go ten minute, pockets and listen to drunk. Arnold will Sasso does. If you don't laugh. Your ass off to me is the best impression of all time and it's the phone
the same. I've done it's a funny. One I mean it's. Arnold is like I don't I I hardly do my or the person the more despite his many his Arnold is so hilarious. We have some I'm really proud of some of the things we did on the show I mean, and I like the idea, it's great in great ten minutes out so the way to some characters on there. Forget me, I did an ostrich expert, but that doesn't matter got it at it's. Some of the funny shit I gotta go it's in is my name is into the and the such are. My my specialty on the good question is: if, on all stretch, is a button, why can he not fit hey. And that's all I talk about this is what we need to work with you. We need to get her not to draw Lange with you together with your brazilian Jiu Jitsu rapist character, and make something happen, because that rapist character is there's two of funniest moments. In my life that I've experienced my whole life, one of
is Joe. India's on the Alex Jones show what Joe, with a up and told Joe ideas that you don't have to worry about, swear and because this part is on the internet and Joey Dheas has opened up a can of high got his. You will pass on the the he he he was. He was tell a story about going to the TSA, with weed tucked under his balls and about how machines they don't get. And you know this is your tax dollars at work and Alex Jones. Is going crazy? He goes check yourself before you wreck yourself. Big dicks in your is bad for your health. Jody has faced
twitter, stay black, any any leads, or he literally wrecked the room, I'm crying laughing, and it's and by the way we got it all on video. It's all you know. I got to see the people that say, I'm exaggerating it's all online Joey D, as in the all show show, is a hundred versions of it on you too, because it's slow phenomenon issues there was that and there was you in the hotel room. We were high as and I don't think I think I just got the job of the UFC yeah and we would all come out to the fights and it was it's a great guys, a vet. I mean so barbaric in man yeah to go to to see that fight only should I was crazy right afterwards, we'd steaks and and just a job, a boy, a party. I remember you and I actually went looked at Randy Couture, really, medical, yes! Well in the US, like we were up stairs and we were barbecued. We were so high and you know we just have this group of really funny people hanging out together, so we're just making it to the lab and Brian goes into this explanation like a brick, Jujitsu seminar and have fought guys, I was basically doing, and so because I was training and says, and and
of course I I've had nothing but the utmost respect for hands. All, of course, is just the, but I would greatly to exact character. You know and come on guys. Okay, like that, you know what the good guys take a guy like that. Do the math like that and you put it there's like the the the way, the the, although the parts of like your sex somewhere, I don't know where it is, but this one was on any Bravo's video, but it was like a window like you, you had. It was like one of those things he put on his video, but he wouldn't put it on there as a fortune cookie. You know I'm talking about as I would have called. We have to find it whatever, so he he put it on there. I think, is that what's called a fortune cookie, whatever the fuck, it's called. When, when someone put something on their dvd- and you know- you go and find it so he put on there, like you had to press like a couple of different things were to come up. It was one this stupid things that people did before they realize that extra content. You should let people, while that people watch it and so Eddie had that he thought it would be really funny, and I also think he was worried about. It was so dirty
connecting it to his thing. I think he would do it now, because I gotta mastering the systems you gotta be careful when you're building a brand aware and if you're interested in that go to tenth planet, Jiu, Jitsu, dot, com, 'cause he's got this whole web series called mastering the system, and a lot of that is with him not to Lange. Who is this? I don't want tell you the whole story, because I don't want to give up the joke, but you gotta get together with him and will do it. I'm coming back on the podcast teach guys how to kiss guys. I want to thank you. Fuck and man you come out on the podcast anytime. You want I'll do extra ones for you. If I have a full week, will do one at night. We will always do it anytime. You want me, I'm sorry. I have to leave early today, it's no worse!
Thank you. Everybody should tell those guys to fuck themselves and stay here. Tweet tweet tweet we are on the internet. They were twisted as good a suite at Brian Count, we're doing right now. We d'oh way our br. Why we are doing now it's a game for me, and I love you. I love you, don't leave. I got a commercial there with you, but I can't let you out of the house, man fucking hell having animals out the security believe hold on. Let me let me let me let me end this all right. This podcast overlays in general GO see Brian this weekend in San Diego at the american comedy company and go to the american Comedy company, supported it's great, that San Diego finally got a real fucking comedy club, and it is a bad ass one. Thank you too Alienware MMA follow them on Twitter, Alienware, MA on Twitter, Alienware sponsors through Sucker Punch, entertainment, a lot of fighters and They. We really appreciate the shit out of that. So we started using Alienware computers for all of our podcasts and, if you're into gaming, their fucking fantastic. There really awesome tell us this eighteen inch laptop, it's fucking Trimen
it's it's! If you want to play games on that, there are like the the graphics, the speed, the really credible the pricey, but they're they're, really worth it. They're they're, incredible gaming computers and we thank them for school bring us because We love the fact. They hooked us up with computers, we love them as a company. We love the fact they support support, mma fighters. We think ballsy move, and I really appreciate the fact that Della big company has the through Alienware there there, which they own to step in and sponsor Spotify. I think that's beautiful, and so we people who support him knife thanks toe on it dot com as well go get yourself. Some battle, ropes and kettlebells, so you could be manly like Bryant can like may throw that rope around bitch self, a dancer's physique. I love you brain feed, your brain with some nutrients and get your shit together. You dirty bitches! Look we love you. We appreciate the podcast, ah tweets and e mails and and all that shit literally. Ah, my life would not be as rich and interesting if it wasn't for how ah how
how much positive energy we've gotten back from you, people how much that is inspirational. How much that makes us want to do more and may better and put out more content- and I to the fuck that you guys, are using this podcast to make your commute more interesting. Thirteen you, when you're on a plane, you know whatever the you use it for when you're at the gym. I think it's awesome. I I I love the connection that we have and thank you for all the positivity and it's in it. It inspires me to no end. That's a dirty freaks tomorrow we will have Jamie Kilstein on my favorite. Well, not my favorite vegan he's one of my Vegans he's my favorite vegan lefty comedian, that weighs eight pounds, he's agree cargo and he's a very smart guy, and he has this is strange ideas. He's got his heart in the right place, he's a good human and he'll, be here tomorrow and then, have Andrew Dice Clay on Wednesday
Thursday. We have. We have two podcasts on Thursday, you leaving you dirty. Bitch and you can find them on Twitter. I gotta go all take care of people, big kiss love.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.