« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #102 - John Heffron, Brian Redban

2011-04-28 | 🔗
Date: 04-27-2011 The uncensored podcast of Joe Rogan. With John Heffron and Brian Redban
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by the flesh light if you gotta joel the net and click on the link for the flesh light and type a code name rogan you'll get fifty percent off the number one sex toy for man oh shit that's right out there and what that said here we go bitches burgle up john have rounds in the mother fucking house what the general can experience my girl back what's our budgets
ladies and gentlemen the one the only john half round has joined us very much you know i'm always conscious about how i sit here is after all do you sure i'll get to it's a day kind of looks like a tool judged by how we sit down here i don't know delude williams who do i sit with my posture and part of each s dna from romance lighting up in this motherfucker or or urgency like this you i see i don't you think it's how you sit it's only a few have like the word industry on your shirt or something that way have that that's the key why did i do i do have industry do you think that john have foreign or cable i never thought i'd like that's going to cool down my face ever yours you're too reference to dark i can't see as winning smile and is permitted here what do you use parliament
i used to use whatever yet palmer but now that companies discontinued show might just have to shape our current i can't find switch the crew we need like red lights in here this place should be more children i'm saying moreover stoner hut right now it's like we're sitting in an office with some lights nor be bad as it has had a couple apple acolytes is everyone's lighted the love of luggage velvet paintings and should not just a villa gets its is to stew normal this is so normal there's room as is normal is in get there's nothing crazy here in us picture of doom poster there's nothing going on here is rumours nothing maybe it is a good to have nothing is india you bring your own something to it near you know you don't you dont influence you by your environment yet you're not distracted distracted so john have i make it visually like blow out with some red in some greens and make it visually awesome how how much you really worried about these people who don't like the way said let's get to that
you know what you're right i don't know why i like i've got a confident enough myself not to let it but for some reason will you do like any time you're upset about something it's because each time you get mad cows their sphere so i think when i when i read those i go well here you know it you kind of slouch and then they get all upon my head i slugs terrible i'm short as it is my sweltering swamp down it's horrible it's bad for your back to you know it seems like it's easier to do some around just like this logic that is really not you up and shit i try to go when i'm on planes right try to sit like the whole flight a little bit more cause i slouch clearly on a plane to these sleep lake that more use you stand straight the more you can control your posture deafening tardy it's you did like funky back things like that the gun like hey look my tidies yeah does a little jewish at the beach i remember what years and years ago they had some type of bra thing that guy
can wear that throws your shoulders back it is some type of yeah it's you put it on and i almost body rearranging she was sexiest fuck you should it got there and they say vice hook up with a girl and she if she can undo what like one hand you ve done this before you majority little fat brass lud yeah what but those crazy outfits where they just tightened women up there weird outfits that you buy that like suck in your ass second your legs and there like compression shorts yeah i guess all commercial on at once when i was on my storms and the funny thing is like they had this woman was for a thing like that we're squeezed your body to make it look like your skin and had bigger boobs but they showed like that before and it was like free be boobs analysis they can imagine the audition i'm looking for a frumpy ooh person imagine not getting that addition cause you were too frumpy
another promptly and are in africa in the running one was like they have had some damage there's a booby hang out out of like one part of the broader and there is a more on the damage we must condemn are like you know where her that's freckled wrinkle empyrean outer but then i should like the after and it was just like cheddar shirt on but her boots were really perfect as waste what about the more whereby the sun damage you're just tricking me that's got the scourge of going in any audition where you going in as the before yeah we're look when you know that for twenty five thirty five or body tony does infomercials tony from columbus he does infomercials and he let me and how they do those fitness ones they get in shape the fuckers and they pay only get fat really thought about thirty they they get these guys who are bad ass in shape dude other their shredded and ripped and they reverse the process and the man
god just not work out for a while get fat and they stand laval slump in shit and they get paid and then they get back in shaping an innocent man did that one is that sea vs right now we're it's like a thing he put near water and it makes you lose way do not talk about it i got it does is it makes you it makes you not wanting eat like it kills your guy dropsy countersign yeah yeah exactly but he was paid to do this commercial commercials before and after he's gonna take that shit once ought i did was i got the money and just work out like a mother fucker and starved myself and done stuff so bad such a weakness that people prey on and the guy kind of let some do it because it's real hard to figure out what's cause you lose weight because i have to do is say must you know you must do it with a proper exercise and and diet as well as taking this pill and that's if the same knowns exercise and i have two people a dragon he's fucking things are lazy shit right ragged exercise
i know a woman that was barely overweight man mean she's like fuckin shit five pounds overweight maybe like a little arrangement as you left camp of coca cola i would even say five i mean yeah she was prob ten pounds over the perfect you know what would but she is she wasn't fair and she got lobo you lazy pitch you're just gonna go that's the sucked out you there's a serious easy solution just fucking less work more that simple you know it up an hour earlier you know just fuckin do do so crazy dvd on thirty percent faster you normally why even when you came to jim you know how many fuckin dvds they're out there i have just follow the dvd need to hand weights and you follow along just crazy fitness freak and next thing you know you're in shape in its god damn you know didn't up fuckin a whole stuffed under skin is sucking fat out your body wow man
that's some deep shit man and then you have to wear compression shorts if you wear these heavy heavy short because we don't that a lot of times it doesn't smooth out good a lot of times what happens when you get the lipo is it leaves behind like like i like meteor crate tape shit you know it doesn't sound smooth like your leg and also your yet little thinner but soft fucking weird when you touch it you know that you could feel scar tissue under their man that their children your body you live he can't get the fucking jim do not have any friends that have your back you know your friendship grab you and go hey no no don't do that you're fuckin ten pounds over what you crazy bitch don't you know hose stuff on your ass and you can't do anything for three weeks kind of its sit right ass has been vacuumed you crazy hooker just de la body tv and do that checks work out what is that man it's late
the greatest website you do unpaid here is this clause whereby for western ipod galina war no i ain't in front of your wife's no lloyd you see if russia and check the fitness chick whose husband until you and take your liver who's who shoots the work of videos as if their porn but there actually really tough work ok i just said something there about the russian chasing and kill you and take your liver of your russian women you'd probably so that's pretty races shit you just said yes but let's be honest women who will tell you tat you ll ever reason why there is a total yet and the reason why bring that up is because the last couple of podcast we ve been talking mothers jeremy clarkson situation and it first was criticized in this committee and for making fun of germany or for picking jeremy clarkson because i love i can show you get paid by top gear and then nods what my favorite fuckin shows meant i love that show it's fun you know we talked about yesterday without growth but so there was a dude who message me yesterday
he said that he was from mexico and he said that i had it wrong his name is our dose z e f do you know them the message sent me wasn't do she in any way just he said i got the story wrong here he said to me that i personally me i got the store wrong here's a video and salute arose from a monterrey mexico city sentiments and he's from mexico so i said i won't let me say because the thing i read before that was what he had said as is no mexicans do only limping does anyone who can run swinburne john reserve jump has already got across the border sides like that's not even that badly what's what's so bad about that that's nothing like if you're really shitting on this guy for making that show the year the asshole it's like come on man there should be you if you're italian guess what it had you gonna hear some mob jokes right if you ever irish you gonna hear some drunk jokes it's not bad come on you can take a joke that's what i thought until
he sent me this and listen to this because this is all about a mexican sports cars there reviewing as this amazing i think that's very instantly with us a wee bit off topic but they all knew for cyprus ideal if you just want some car chaps listen have you ever wanted a mexican sports yes i have good news because there is one and here it is and its core
the torture is not called the toll to what is remember it's something of it so you just made up the name why would you want a mexican cock as cars reflect national characteristics deaths and german cars also build the asian italian cosmic firm buoyant and quick may cause he's going to be a lazy tactless flats guess offence asleep looking access with a blanket without when the middle lomas account is interesting because these through the mexicans can because he's all like sick with cheese refunds how much is this mexican supports girl the referral mexicans balls com is thirty three thousand pangs isn't enough that was there isn't enough because there's been somebody's paid for that to be developed and it's gonna be shipped hope it's safe
the goods the call that you say that no but they do say in their blood he's got racking pinioned staring wow it's got steering i'm sorry but just imagine waking up and remembering in your next you can just go straight back to sleep again all day but we look at the gate he complains about this because the mexican embassy the ambassadors gonna be city they were so this they won't complain fine oh no i tell you what was a radio station in germany ok offered twenty thousand kids with many confers a prize so any listener who would do the z list craziest thing ok and then one is when it's because he the word milly tattooed on his face sounding thing that's how the sausage that's although this should they set about
yeah that's a big difference yet that's not just kind of joke in throwing out oh yeah we get it where this way you know this is an interesting subject now because this is where the line is and that first of all to say imagine waking up and remembering your mexican the fact that they let that colombia z poorly written line just get in so they can have a wake up joking you go back to sleep that's what they did what that is is a writer issue as a hay and innate well yes what they're saying was hate but the reason why the same as it is a very poorly written line that someone wrote for them it's very obvious that's like a shitty comic set up because sets it up in this artificial way imagine remembering waking up in remembering your max can we why my waking up i was asleep remembering maximilian what what is this weird fake premise you're setting up what's only so the hellish mexican go back to sleep joke right so what he hasn't he is so
suffice the feelings of an entire nation just to one shitty thy way go to sleep job that joke was apple and then the other one shitting on mexican food mexicans food is fuckin awesome tell me that mexican food is nothing but sick on it they can't do met food can they it's just sick with cheese ah ha ha ha ha in english eyes are saying that i've only got spot rude shit and it's it's ok if it's funny but it's not funny you know it's like come on
and i can go with the united states that is not enough in others of their to justify doing so would you have is to offensive jokes one of about food not a big deal but the other what about imagine waking up and remembering your mexican like that's a straight polack jokes yes racist man that's that's that's spic jokes that's anything anything you want that's that's a nigger job really assuming that that's they're doing mexicans bucks bunny i from nineteen sixty dollars down that and then the other thing is that the taking on the characteristics of the nation
the whole nation reg really like first of all you motherfuckers have never seen mexican gardeners okay you wanna talk about lazy mixing garners lazy at all their fuckin chopping down bushes and stack them on the top of a pickup truck with giant big fuckin doors on each side a pickup truck to keep this overflow of blanche pollinate tiny down as a fucking hard day's work do they do it every day and though there at seven o clock in the morning like where they got this lazy reputation into say a whole nation the nation here's a problem it's kind of governments ok the government is completely missing its complete totally corrupt the fuckin the entire countries cooperate by gigantic military
mystic again run lords i mean it's they they literally own like giants sections of the country that they can't reclaim they have massive corruption throughout the police force massive corruption throughout their government they have all sorts of problems but there no fucking front than you man
just in a shitty situation mexicans are the least leads to the person i didn't lazy and all men are human beings in there in a fucked up environment it's just it's a scientific experiment what happens when the environment offers no hope oh yeah people get feel sad and their fucked up now to drink that's normal do that's normal that's what you do that to you fuck you just luckier over here it's its total racism and it's not funny it's like what they're doing is that will unfortunately it's not funny i see what you're trying to do but what they did was ham handed if i was working on that show how to since we're not doing this man i would stop the motor of where we are trying to set it up made if i was one of those guys that was the joke that i was supposed to deliberate say no way i go you need to stop and think about what you're doing to get out a few mexican jokes here you know that's all you trying to do you know what you're saying is not funny like saying that every good mexican has swam ran or jumped over the boar that's a joke because there's a border and we all know they want to get across the border that's why mexico doesn't do only olympics that's kind of one in every mexican army jokes about that lays into that that's kind of funny but when you start going imagine a waking up and remembering your mexican what does fuck man
that's a very unfortunate to me because like i said i'd love that show i mean and he says a lot of offensive ship it's always very tongue in cheek very he's coming from this new t british way of looking at things and get out i enjoy it i enjoy has enjoyed this new dns because i don't like that richard hammond government that was bad and i usually like him a lot you see these great unease you see his demeanor when he was saying that jugglers like looking at his glass like a hall is it not the wake up to this when it a slap on what they re conference in italy it was a performance and this is what we had a crow was talking about to us yesterday the difference between how adam handles it now they handle it is germany clarkson they write everything out everything they say is scripted and they write it out rehearse it and do it out so that was him trying to get out this joke instead him talking from the heart which is
corolla does when he does his rats in he comes from the harshest he's not in i mean he might repeat the same thing over and over again but this is because that's what he means and that's what is in his head and he just going to say it again in i'm saying it's not like some calculated nonsense and what these doing is trying to get out some calculated nonsense and is trying to get it out with the most impact possible it's also because they're doing front of alive audience and alive audience of people standing up which has gotta be annoying as fuck a plus if you're reading a script adjust delivering align it is at face value you're making up some earn using improbably history of heart you have a filter system right even when you're be you know you run into a filter gone yeah zack i can make this funding but that one would mean if you like save you run a show our you're cobbler stand up come you in season one of last house in cities into as easy to mother fucker he's jesse last comic standing a champion all those
before him so you ve got you know i mean you ve got a reputation to uphold a viewer on that show and all of a sudden they wanted you to deliver a line like tat would you know you put your foot dora yes i to do that i was on twenty rock project you know christians rather yeah he had very funny super nice guy in our area and i was i was the the white co host on the show so was tony rock and me you away you like yeah india would give me a lot aligns like you know like a rap i told that i'm a guy who doesn't know what a rap battle is and i will wood cutting go in our group like i know what a rap battle is reviewed when i was a kid from the eighties i know more about kind of right then a lot of young guys do cause i was old school we could go you to your phone when i see how do a lot of that like i'm dumb white guy stuff and in an absurd and i would say
we say it a little bit smarter so i dont come across as but here doing the character when i come across the return of its funnier i didn't know it wasn't like that was me but you know me is it john have run i like i was yo yo did you gotta come off as a retired detail i pointed out that everyone's you fucking news radios a total regard nobody i wasn't always hosts yoga really my character on new radio was the way i who was an idiot savant i was half retorted you know and i but i knew thump stuff about like how to make can fix elevators shit rig computers and make stun guns out of garage door opened our eyes to a conspiracy theory i arrived at this one i wasn't plain a character i was john have for introducing the
it's just so you are playing your about me hey tony rocco i'm john ever you know john do we want on the streets of that's really streets did you guys make kate i mean you don't like that i'm a white carlton rash print sides fine how right is that's that's a different story because even though you should go with the joke what's gonna the funny thing is gonna make you know what makes you the most retarded but that's you yeah really playing yourself i wouldn't it calling you an idiot you know how to like you know it's like what have lack i get sunset and goes hey why i'm out here all my friends are our rights hubcaps and i was greatly area are going to laugh at that really we're going to have the word the worst is when the eyes in as many white folks since my trial are you guys these heard through the joke we're doing another second comic we're doing automatic applause brow
that gives us one guy had like everyone you could possibly have in his act like you want single moms really the tough job you know what our groups are over there that's a specific we live above yeah we try to set up the black eyes do yeah we lack idea you're in trouble will go give it up for the ladys jago delay ladys gotta heart out their young single mothers let us among us learn my mom raised me single no sir anyway was up so am i doing here s where my dream what they drank people tat we yeah there's a little of that go on unless you're really satin something really strong up i'm not really yeah he's one two three you know to trick melodic eyes at church in their act you know and some tricks are good though sancho summer impressions impressions are tricks but i can play if someone is good here in like j more do you haven t
jason if i listened to it i could do case occasion a really listen to i like i could do joe d as it is this voices i can do and his voices i cant do i'm not like like what named frank kelly and dolly endo that guy can do hagen he nails motherfuckers yeah he's he's gonna but freddy la carte man he's a bad mother fucker to morgan freeman and the ice t those does or get yours i shall apply here i could use a man kelly indo show to our i can do bad impressions of people doing impressions like i need one person remove here you'd like i can have shaken we were doing tracing crazy morgue how bad is vegas galleon those making fuckin ridiculous money there and he said i want to do it done
we live right next to satan's balls to so long before the smell and the fall in the fuckin you lived in satan's ball sweat fog i don't know value i saw god had kind of state standpoint did you see that a canadian comic yeah we haven't talked about that they got find get sued yeah what did he get sued for how much worse than the twenty two thousand dollars and perform how i can perform in canada when or how long happened he was on stage i can perform a candidate narrowing alec banned you lot yeah yeah sure i think so you got some what happened he was on stage and he was being heckled and two ladies through wine at him like you know like tossed it starts you saying you're shut up you lesbians and he started i don't know what he's exactly was like you two lesbians are you going to go home later and now they need a lot harder than he called them dikes and current they shoot him for twenty
two thousand five hundred bucks was it the total a pseudo suit and firm feelings hurt fur slander for four i'm calling them named from the state what they won t want one for her loving her awarded the moon that feel show that that opens up a whole so now as a comic what you do is you literally have to read a disclaimer by you shouting at me you are saying that i have like you know you're gonna have to have some are very red before you make fun or the guy that's curious fuck that's completely ridiculous what if like you're just like an opening comic like eu useless for joe and he has like you know you're just like living on the couch somebody's house and use you know you say something crazy get sued and now you oh twenty two thousand dollars in your now about everything by hecklers can hecklers if you hurt their feelings like theirs i don't do that
can't be legally normative you i'm because these avarice release a z bullshit is what it is it is a bunch of fucking babies that are in charge or yet i little game raid what and who wins what here's the deal man's real fuck and simple come to a comedy show if you do not enjoy it leave if you want to talk about it on joint online feel free to do so that the vienna knows all about man you know email your friends put up on twitter john john john f runs flocks jargon and fuck and ate it and what do whatever you want to do and that's all well and good but when you interrupt the show you are now
just interrupting the show for the performer your interrupting the shell for every other fucking person in the room and you haven't made a pole given walked around said hey how many of you guys would like me to yell out right now you know and you know even then they wouldn't be honest with you because loses crazy person asked me i do you wanna do man in its it's amazing how one of our second my point is that this fucking three hundred other people in that room and any person i think they're more important than a show there there are more important than the three hundred that persons are caught and they shouldn't get shit and the fact that this week asked court system set this up and let this go through that's fucking pathetic and that's fucking put i think you know i mean that's it that's a kangaroo court shit right there that's what that is that's nonsense you can't call some fuckin dyke when someone stop that showing hackles anything else why not you by whether we issued dyke yes you
with your girlfriend you're ok look you're a dyke second ass that's undertaken court for non prove that you are not alleged rice call themselves are dogs is that is not a bad thing is that it is that's what i saw buried j it's terrifying it's terrifying in how fucking dumb people are this is a person who committed a crime you violated the show you should be kicked out they should fuckin take you and take a picture of you and never let you back in the father get there should be a big fuckin built bulletin board filled with pictures of douche bag who get drunk and yell stupid shit out and interrupt the show for hundreds of other people and make a performer recognise that you there and interact with you against his will unless the guy comes up eu starts talking you and asking you questions laugh
don't laugh those here to options you know when you want to enjoy interjected your own shit and a pre planned routine immaterial you're just be an account it's that simple and the fact is that this court system is paint kuntz wow that's that's a pathetic i think these comic clubs needed a responsibility and make them sign releases then to worthy showed work you know we now do we now need more paperwork we need judges that fucking word it till that happens what do you want be sued next week if you get an heckler fight how did you do actually have actually of insurance errors and omissions insurance apple private insurance well yeah should guess that's cool i didn't know that a gag lessons german or got suit me he sent me him to it so but jimmy jimmy when after some guy in the radio belittled him and crush them and the guy was a lawyer and the guy
and here i got into a lawsuit anita even though you know jimmy didn't lose the loss or just paying for the legal fees and everything is huge paying the s and he said you know so i e set me up to the errors and omissions stuff but like it just ridiculous that you have to do it man there's only one reason i'm talking about a comedy club is one reason and ask as yet yelled out some stupid if you're in person and i talk to you of your nice persona be nice to you you know if there's some going on with you just like a peacock and i have to address it you know that did you know that gonna be fun i'm gonna be a mean person it's i want you to have a good time that's whirl here for what someone's yellin something now you're interrupting the show you fuck you know and people think lego motor hope do rope do show brew there's always two ways you can do they can either ignore the guy ngo ok if you bonds or shout some twice and i don't see anything maybe single think click on in his head got ok he's not going to talk to me but what happens is is you have to people that they or or one guy be introduce it'll it'll effect
these seventy eighty people around them they keep staring at that person is a guy i'll keep talking interrupts the cancer you have to u have to address it if you are addressing it ruins shows i've seen meantime sirs girls in last thousand texas at austin the cap city which i love great club one of the rare times out a kick a whole tableful girls out they just don't vitality statistically though it's there is an area where these are all there are only twenty three electricity and you can look it up and you can take me back to that it's always young girls didn't you get video of her complaining outside saying that choose but no you didn't do it horse flesh did david it now i got some of it too they ve got the girl sanctions can assume yet and i must say i say i got this crazy match for centuries ago so they wouldn't stop caravans hamburger anniversary whatever the fuck your words are we sometimes age gang game they kept fuckin
but it was just a table for crows man it was territories of fresh roadkill and they're all squawk in every german car went by it was thought terrible matter they wouldn't stop and i kept on guys you can't fucking just talk this isn't a night is the fuckin whose show going like i gotta contrary to my duties these people here to see it they're not here to listen to talk again we call we got that's it you gotta get kicked him alive it hurt people think it a comedy watch once you start your you telling stories like interrupting a singer made now europe in a thought is stopped in here like wait what was i in a year that's why shouldn't i will try to do it on purpose guys you see guys do it on purpose autumn the weak guys in a global will haeckel and then you go i'm sorry sir what would you say what what like they'll say something back to look stupid like doesn't competent nonsense nonsense word like i'm not a real conversationally oh you're just be an annoying that's it
by i've up for what twenty three years and when you are young guy you you always have like a heckler line locked in your brain and of somebody says something you slam in romania like high i totally slender but then you reach a point of being comfortable we like you know what heckler guy you bore me you can leave here thinking this guy i'm going to hang out with the adult chicken amount as the back everything he has his ashes battle lawyer that measures where most people love those you two clips of europe of hackers getting destroyed its way better just kick amount the fuckin show i want everybody to have fun man i want someone needy asshole in a lot of rwanda leading evacuees yet lot of a more wanna be comedians a huge percentage of em they think they're good they think they can do it you know and it has never had the balls go to an open mike nine or something like tat but you know they see you and they were for could join or from a queer to fuck we're gonna fuckin ruin aroma what we're here for actually online around about the whole right there there thinking use what am i to say i'm probably just going to say
person that was bragging about fucking up a hacker was in a determined bragging about just crushing mike young that she heckled my gun and jack them john the want one person that we know that i stopped his show mid show do take a piss break remember we talked about has a couple weeks ago all your comedy show that rice i think that most of the craziest never hurt you know you might have archipelago bladder problem like my homey my goldberg listeners folks here inside information if you ever listen into the eu of sea and you know fight or walk ups are you know dude will come out and their musical star plan and then i'll go hailing out of rail rock illinois in disguise jujitsu fighters you know what the best but above all what and when if you only hear me talkin it's because my words pain
here's my goldberg no bullshit will pay five six times during a show has it got that should check to do i don't know man i think his dick is just broken and all kinds away i don't know i tried to tell him about my homey whatever they got you on that should i work at and he's like it's a string it always rebels because you drink tunnel rebels we do i stopped trying to keep up with him because it nice tasty rebel cold one they gonna be there in a bucket filled ice it seems like you know in the guy who was one of the rebel leaders have a rebel whenever i want man while work sometimes like gimme another one that i realise how we should have drink three red bulls my heart's ready to break out of my fucking just like i'm sit down and like people said do you called me do you see but yeah free rebel realized you might as well bianco the energy you have to have because as as energetically as people are on tv that gets toned down by the time you see it so if you have to have
crazy over the top energy for it to seem normal energy if i'm a guy on my couch may i guess i don't think about it like that i think are better off with one red ball than with three main there's only minor excited for no reason but i only get excited naturally i never try to wrap it up and people who believe that they think that i like hyper fights and if i don't think much fight now be pretty fuckin flat about it may now have to do my job about it nobody grab some five where my mom's is not that exciting to me i'm not i don't get hyped about if you hear me hyped about something it's a hundred percent legitimate i don't like you might try to put out all this energy that's just how i feel about the european one had a point when i started on this rant we're talking about me peeing on stage not not like no birds broken did it was so this is how you know if you ever watching the fights and you only hear me talking for a long period of time that's crews go spare that's what it
always you sure though you yes so when you hear that it's the new rules you do a shot so when you hear just i knew you see drinking game when when when fighters walking up and go bergs not dog and do a shot and accounts for facebook fights to because all of em we're gonna be on facebook now this one is in canada this weekend paper views in our earlier and all the all the pre limbs hundred percent of them are gonna be on facebook air all the on certain any gonna see is facebook and inspect tv and then the usa paper view look it's gonna be the shoes all the unerring premiums the lot of great fuckin fighting those premiums man you know that's what will you get to see these guys like a lot of times when you see a guy and he's in the main card for the first time already seen homeboy fight like three or four times like i know we what's up and i know what is this is like this this guy's awesome wait what do you see this guy you know
did you get it really chances cities upcoming dude in some guys like a name you like hunters thomson and nixon had a conversation wants in the back of a limit on the cell a hunter s thompson knew that nixon was a real football fan because he started about like second string quarterbacks from some obscure college in only wow disguised like legitimate like legit football fan you know if you you have seen guy like you see fans liked to be like legit too they like to know due to fall on the underground and by the way i made a mistake yesterday because we got two blasted and work can my gregg nelson the train or at a minnesota and i i just didn't think i was trying to lay scramble and remember who the fighter wasn't i was thinking about jacob workmen is one of em and jacob vulcans fuckin awesome grappling i'd love watch neck i fight and the other guys nicht carney lance who one is last night not bob it's his body one by getting he's another bad ass fighters these guys are like
some serious wrestlers that their converting into emma may finders but that gregg nelson guy he does about ass job so i made a mistake just want to correct them so that those two things i want to correct that mexican top gear thing to do way as vigorously high school they're getting rid of the figure for on the head nice line figure for well known random facts are yet memory chicken wing in and then run it and then you'd figure for the guy's head it's dark darst her what would your legs all will you relax you're but that that moves now illegal and i we know because i was the worst wrestler my high school history and i got figured for probably more than anyone in history of heights of michigan run you know why but dues are probably turn into triangles kids that are jujitsu guys that are on the bottom triangles independent workers or unconscious that's with dave schulz you to do the dave schulz marshals the show brothers were these fuckin ban ass wrestlers and one of them moves they did was the schulz headlong as this
thing that mad he used to two ricardo meda he got him in his front headline choked him asleep with it and the the hughes it might put it gets its a wrestling samir and used it to our meda now made it didn't even those come and he's a black belt and brazil jujitsu but these the shots brothers you to do it and choke eyes unconscious and then put him on the back and they depend pending for complete asleep furthest cook is a totally different sport your plan he would break guys arms with rolling camorra as he would grab cameras and rip guys arms apart when they would take him to the ground full blast wrapped in a wrestling match there's like him in the olympics he gets qualify for being some guys fuckin arm apart me the wrestling but he's a wrestling patient a break your shit man did you see that video that kid is vigorously is bought nine years old as a more hawk like chocolate l
these eight or nine years old in the vaguest kids to interact now this is just the rattling kid you did see then he goes out there i mean it face like the kid and it's funny the comments all these people go he's too nasty his parents should a u knows jujitsu i think in judo ingress rose ridiculous eaters zog is well if he's amazingly so good a youtube video that if i'm honored look up nine year old killer wrestlers it is more how can you could see as a kid walking out tat you see every little kid that it goes a rustle like looked back at his parents go and i want to go home audibly soccer indicated resembled on not fair because otherwise it is just starting out and it has been doing in every day for years and he's gonna fuckin some serious technique ma am finishing you see the competence and when you see it
we're going to let you know yelling at the parent european policy unit on new zealand animals those parents they ve never been in combat sport themselves that simple you need to know that somebody like that out there ok you would you want to be like that guy or you want to let that guy dominate you like that those two choices do you wanna like half assed port or do you want to be like tat mother fucker that's the top of the rainbow you see it gets what it is they got nine jerusalem find out what's our film you fucked up right ok how do we not get you fucked up where you gonna learn how to rest like that guy right now you know you have like something aspire to the model happily be happy shift their kid was one taken ass yet no parents we gas bitches raises some soft motherfuckers besides following highschool wrestling which is something i know its recitals rice and i am going to make any of us they watched the guy with one leg forgot his name is pretty bad us national did you know that john created this really cool plugin for fur
like your internet browser so like a few we talked about this on the way over here so talent tell us about the real sweet you you wanted you use your came up with the idea and he hates you gotta pee store you i do not know exactly what media i didn't if you want me tell that when i was in converse when actually had to go on state that we have a guy with a hole in your browser i did i was working with this guy and he gave me some off the shelf light like energy type wait lost type thing to work on madeira save some like that speed modify was show thirsty like so well shows i drank the green bottles maybe six bottled water like pounded in an even told the comic ago i've never been this thursday mighta ip before the show one of those long shewed please get onstage i'm onstage maybe six minutes and i start gone after p again now had that well like now i'll be able to i got out of fear of from about forty five minutes so i can in the end have to pee now
we thought you my head is i have to pee so look at girl for rome like so what do you do for a living and i'm sweating now i'm trying to talk this o brien was out there why i thought you were in the crowd right so unlike what do you do in she talked to me it's you gave your answer and i could meet for a thousand dollars i couldn't tell you what she said sweats com not in what are your little girl i've never had to do this in my life i have to go to the bath i can't even your there how can he was in the crowd i was in the crowd you interested in the college has happened to be in columbus that week he was in town and unlike data may come see you did so and in which crazy he kept on asking the opening comics they help who just better that that he's opening for me and i'm like i gotta get dempsey back up here i have to go about it and then i would do a bit and then a couple minutes late i'm gone seriously i need to see the cup and then he slowly walks up so the columbus come come you have to run although in the back room it all the way to the front to pee so i spread
i think brain has footage of me we're running passive as fast as i can write and and we twenty guys got up to go to the bathroom when i go i'll be right back say by the bye tunnel go to the bathroom there's twenty guys deepen the urine that's because a real common come as a focus for the calm when i got up as a bathroom the green revolution just went out back behind the kitchen can i take cuts in front in this guy as he's payable to stick his aunt discuss all sorry broke we just start there to be a good time to go if you were going literally any poles away the court to see you can download i was initially way their claws desire that stupid it's fun there's no green room there either so embarrassed like i was so to this day now before i go on stage i think i'll go from fifteen times like in my head and like nobody goes more than goldberg travelling he goes and like it's a running joke with all the do you know what i want to do this you have say ok this when you do this you have seen i'm gonna have a video camera set up so
it'll be right it s not like every time every time he gets up i'm gonna videotape the bathroom just so we can get a number you mean that you mean sitting by such a night allegory liking him and anti tank drinkin rebel bathroom any they went off the wagon again about any deck was tell us you know who's talking about whether or not he monopoly wants is advertised but our verity let it out to me so i'm sure he's told us that the margin a big fucking mouth our gate code word like of governors bathroom you go on this next fighters ran like light i suppose this is laid down in a virus bananas bananas and beating banana it will have to be something we have to strike a programme that you have enough
no university plan if you're playing the you see drinking game take one shot everybody we like what are you talking about it and now go outside telling you that i will if i remember and others have to remember if you're playing the you have see drinking games as this is one shot folks the edge shot and then what about the way folks we're gonna take some you have see drinkin game shot make it jack daniels why you walking around with some fruity tasted nonsense i am a big fan of the jack daniels shot because a jack daniels shot lets you know exactly what the fuck you're getting into when you do a shot of jack dinners in your whole body of jack daniels makes your fuckin toes straight now relate to an appeal it can but it's gotta be a shitty tequila jack daniels always gets me if i choice but assented so about jack daniels makes me think alike fog
merle haggard and johnny cash and my train real i'm way have gone out with his stick with all your clothes tied to the end walk not a railroad tracks mainly about a shot of jack you know you're wrong doing this together you like to go and you eddie ready i withdrew this you're all do to get here it's gonna feel great to get a little buzz on but it's also you're all just drinking this fuckin vile point you're saying i know i know i'm not going to live forever i know enough to take care of myself as well but every now and then the trains gonna go off the track and into the woods here we go back to the moment you throw the bottle cancer brick wall doesn't look the same is like a z ma i want to remind me mike young my job is the one always drink jack daniels remember
he had a joke about jack daniels that's why he had a jug about jack tens makes you want to fight your relatives zella get like your russian my gun talking to play her those were stout governor yeah enlightens new material for years mumble mumble arias remember what it does is podcast way does the park as he's free pretty clear yeah what's up that talk today the fuck on the phone sometimes you want to spank him dummy how about you talking in some noise that sounds like words you fuck i think i hear and then come out of your mouth and lazy cunt music mild whose
i think i greet and more things that he says to me just because i don't know what he says i got yeah yeah i don't have a simple ran who i have more frustrating conversation our conversation with him on the phone like mother fucker i don't know what you're saying you speak english and i don't know what you're saying this is ridiculous is another person i talk to those like this i have people that i'm talking to all the time they don't speak english i know a russian do barely speaking i communicate with him better than i can with our absolute moves among the more mobile and the worst is when you stand because he has don't thoughts and density add that mumbling soda my hands on fire of jesus the mumble a i stumbled when i did news radio and my acting because i was consciously trying when do news radio to be as non actor as i could i wanted to be as non sit commie right i wanted to be
dude whose just like a little fuck and dance and stupid but every now and then comes up some brilliant shit rice and fucking weird right so i will try to deal a real account relax and in doing so i would you know in trying not to be like big and fake i will our times it would be hard to understand the fucker would say we'd have to do retake sometimes and producer possibly come over to him mumbles his right of yasser so i know what it's like to get in the habit of mumbling but with our it's almost like some service psychological block that he's got going on because we ve talked about it a hundred times i think i got lazy to move its mouth that's why i think it is a part of it because when he's onstage go you do listen to me right now people don't know what the fuck you're saying because i know what you're talking about and i dont know the words you're saying where i can and i know the premise another bit of seeing their bid twenty times i know the bit and i dont know what you're saying you
clean up your fuckin words member would also used to do i don't know he does it as much anymore but the thing he from the communist or when i first met him what i always told him as i do you breathe into the mike what he must have is no use the wrapper the mike used to do it like a rapid used to cover the top it like this all pre their people do a lot of shit in the early days of coming to make themselves feel comfortable in other really comfortable here i just suck and it makes the undermining they they ever an affectation that can only lead they they add something to their natural way of behaving on purpose to try to be more comfortable on stage and it usually works the exact opposite way it was economists have protracted pretend their course flock in knowing your fuck but they do you fuck you got the worst thing you could say when you give a fuck is i don't give a fuck yeah he's i'm like why can't trust anything you say because all my instincts tell me you clearly give a fuck right now my nervous you can
be honest about your nervousness you fuckin we don't you know even asking for compassion you're so bad ass you don't need you don't give a fuck it a tricky thing man they d relationship that you have with audience in order you mean you ve i've i've the situation before one assume you probably have to where you are in the middle of a job but you're not really feel in the still cannot really thinking is jumping even though your saying right it is not working all yeah there's aware disconnect i do that with crowd sometimes intimate you have five hundred people you're telling a story than as yours can you like i don't know i don't feel like talking about the and then so then your energy let's go through here too and then i went to work in a bar you just you just see yourself in field i do tricks now when i'm on stage to keep me at that level or when i start to imagine my brain going someplace else to stay present you know what it only works if the only reason why that ever happens with me if i lose commitment to something is because that's what i'm talking about is really not that good through that simple with me it's not ready yet
i haven't i haven't tone did up enough i'm not excited about doing every bit did i do i do that i love like got into certain bits and been like like gets you know why any any might gay marriage bit by bit when i get it bit i never go categories because i know this bids gonna crash i know it's gonna be fun but when i get to a bit like like not really there and i'm still fucking within us to work on it and unlike any want to do is right now is is this isn't feel ready but you know you you committed to talking about its very difficult to change gear i've seen you like feel uncomfortable debt because of some six situation i can remember for it was like you ve sense the audience didn't like the gay humor or the i forget which were at work
we were at our member like even brought up half way through it you're like you know i have allowed dick jokes are you said some like their rivals gauge oaks i can't remember what is like maybe six months ago you did it maybe was we bring these things i now so unsuited civic almost can remember i always get upset gauge on that then we're getting up set you just kind of sense that like how you know i'd say that sometimes cause i sense it because i'm not talk to jim norton about this i go dude i thought that a problem because they had so many dick jokes in my act so i went to see norton and laugh my ass off as do has like fucking its everyone just put into larry i mean i love that i said now feel the eggs i never think about that i never way about that disease it's crazy right but i thought about that unlike in i've said on stage of four have like a jokes of dude do you want to you and it's all different premises and all their virtue and every now and then breaking up one statement mac allow jokes about dude didn't addicts but it wasn't because i feel
something in the audience it was because of me being aware righteous trial like especially now are trying to put together like the material for a special oh by the way we still know they're gonna what the fuck we're gonna do in vancouver but more have to take the sold out so the vote which is europe theatre isn't gaddafi's gertie i've done it what's it like sheep it's one of those old school theatres at a better in our lives in palace and columbus i really yeah just really cool stage it our maisie no staters you do on the country you just walk in what is it what is this plugged come back to this what what what is this plugin that you make us explain that could i think it's a man you can't change gears i don't know the fuck plugin for though the website just talking about the vogue theatres you can't just change gears i'm looking up the actual date on the counter prime gonna stay in the groups on don't be like
talking about completely tugela comedy shouting and actually forth what does you the vote years ago when i could actually do theatre years ago when you do not use anymore if four years ago i think i did it andy theatre cinema i've abandoned by myself recently no june tenth is one month of what happened what happened what changed being on television just recently just the last comic standing and then there was a euro the same level for awhile for a long time i only matters i think even still now i think i have vessel last name level one theatres aim i still do really well club where the theatres things you did with the last comic standing group radiologist are made we just me what we did it together did theatres together when no one i met john john and i did the maxim comedy tour and we did shit the twelve million you charlie murphy yeah did with twenty two it's going to gives younger oh it was a whole month of october whenever it happened yeah all theatres
except a couple comic caused if you comic clubs to but that's funny shit and with theatres when if you're a comic everyone tears man somebody now that i've learned really falls in the hands of the people promoting it yes morse i mean you your online presence in in i mean even now look i'll fast internet was i have more banana presents itself then when we did that tour ps twitter wasn't really we weren't twitter wasn't around in nice and when all is twitter yet now it is getting easier but those promoters really did take so then well we didn't have promoters at where we had zero was they decided this is what happened they sold a fucking thing to bud light it was the bud maxim calmly towards these guys sold this tour they package it was me and the reason why charlie was on was because me and charlie have the same agent my agent events with charlie was doing really well and clubs and that you know would help because we just coming off the another chappelle show and so these guys
basically sold it and then did nothing to promote the shows there are getting a guaranteed amount of income and they just today i wouldn't do any radio with ninety there and made up the eight years to big like and not one thousand feet you know how many it was the biggest only plan ten thousand are the ones we did well in words ones i always in well unlike houston who sold out use them but i always do well in houston will you know we did well in in phoenix virus do well and we would go in a market where you would sell out and i would sell out i didn't know nothing about charlie time side on how we did and then whose theatres were so big will you like i would put more people if i was at the club you know me i got just tat you showed you how nobody knew you were you know i mean that that tour was tom well defined
you know now we have the podcast completely changes any kind of promotion i've never been able to move tickets as easily and sell tickets i saw radios dead in every city you go to no enemies your dad it's dying i mean it's i don't want and in other all fuckin scared these gives these morning dj as you know there's only a few of them have balls in a lot of more fuckin terrified me another during the chopping bach very bob tom that can just relax in disguise had been around forever than are going anywhere they do whatever they want you know for every one of them there some poor guys trying to survive and fuckin cleveland does involve their stations going to turn into all ipod channel or stuff like that yeah man i mean i mean how many people were i look even tom like is fucked he's he's out in the cold all those guys like even guys who did really well on radio or fucked like this
they know about all this cannot play in yeah listen to this when they work out when he what we want to get you do in one of these man i think you do would be awesome doing apart ass and you're always looking for shit to do after your show i think more than eat my voting machine foot yeah we're talking about you're on some crazy diver now because he too much to raise like you running almost like i'm a five hundred pound buried alive type eater i can soon that much junk after the richer railing i gotta vain machine i'll get three or four rosa doughnuts maybe some cheese it if they have the bacon chin and then i'll get some time and i set it right next to my computer and then i start to see where my u to brain takes me just eating you too was a study and gone you tube let's make you productive help elites have a john have frond podcast you could do it opening acts you have opening extra cord with your site you're saying there's a one guy when the european states it was doing yeah i mean i
if you know every weekend some guys are cool some guys aren't you know if you don't bring guys with you you were sleeping i don't see everyone who i used to bring with me getting a special and then they don't want to be in a future anymore to kind of get that is this other youngest coming to this will really funny guy they mean an ones that are that are really really bad that don't want to take any advice and then you wretched reopen don't wanna be a guy who gives advice around wanna be to sit there like well my play you give advice you give advice but you also tell them like how to do it when they open for you tom like what they don't do that the one thing about you don't tell me what you told us you told him not to not do certain bits debates that there i will say is the let me ask a question before every joke guy
it's really the only time i open my mouth now you tell them they can't do that while yet well you where they may give us an example for the non comedy oriented facts show how many people are facebook shows on facebook recent data you tell us today how many people have cats my cat recently and then i always go listen if you're gonna do this same exact joke regardless of what the if it with your paw then don't ask the question just go on facebook why do you care what style somebody like the set things up like that you know what then on stage like so while i was in well you know i had a big wheel is again i know i know you ve heard of figures i'm not asking you because our hassling commissioner do the job when you ask why so what you are saying is that this guy's fucked up this audience for you guess that's ridiculous
well it's silly you might have retards for audience developing on podcast son so you have your fans that come to see you and then you have to worry about shaping your audience you worry to disguise poorly trained your audience like a dog the pisses over the carpet and when you get i stated dog doesn't listen now stop personal input this would be i guess if you put it that way it feels like you know welcome daddy can i think united santos house i don't know what kind of food we do they have cable i guess i'm being a little only protective of biker i worry on every dick i really lilla that definitely yes i'm being ass it is absolutely ridiculous and i love you but you gotta stop doing that this is the only thing you should ever tell comics not do don't steal material it dont step on my promises because some deeds will step on premises on purpose to try to fuck you up like how you might do some crazy
bit about getting strand did you know in the tiger cage at the circus and alcinous mother fucker will have some crazy circa story but here like tigers i m how many times have you worked with guys and you do thursday friday saturday and you do a set with on thursday and friday they open for you and do the same flocking subjects it you do on purpose you can tell the do not even formed bit there just kind of snip premise in ethiopia is so common among young haters you know it's usually guys and our creative in the first which is why they're trying to fuck you i've done that would like i do to mature about is getting limit older but also my forty four see the young guy twenty two so i'm getting older why don't you twenty two really cannot complain about getting older amateur stop server comic ever workers from now i was stolen i'm still dominum step when you shit you know you know
a guy's suck if you you know if sucks don't use again but what we do is own thing when you worry mon stupid questions call it you need a goddamn podcast john have foreign can i can i can i could add these guys on maybe give them advice on the pot gassalasca they would be like you you're different tell their there maybe their best jokes will come out of hay who's gonna xbox live thing about xbox monsieur suck your mother's there's gotta be a big closer is quite larry's the acts is a dial maybe that's his style just asking stupid fucking questions and getting up but it a clap like ironically without ever they hear that guy got alive they gotta gotta lotta prospects you asking questions
you you're so they will say to you you gotta get back that that's like in them but you have like accusations like that were you that guy's defend morocco and i got a lot applause breaks apparent so you criticise them and then they come back with i got a lot of applause yes here that the company charts or paragraphs you consider other guy i'll get other how thousand we want we my lad you showing them that what they did was not good and their single people clapped that's accepted said that's just not afraid
so it's because you get apparently inviolate sedately matter lies both i've stood up old yet just going to push that is what i think you're obviously perfectionists when it comes to your act your act is very tight and very home in everything and i think you see sloppy shit in people's act and her two like you seen it in yourself you know and the europeans has to be subject to is that what it is yet why was watching this last what they say right when you're in secure what when you can you criticise someone you shit on someone will you really are is fraid of that yourself right yeah on the question once because i dont ask i dont know why bulging we carry on as before climb that's why bugs that's why fees burgling reason why thieves always bug me as i was always terrified of being completely and original like the idea of like what if i just pete at all only things and other people said and tried to claim as my own like sounds of gross anything you know i would watch lay people get arrested unlike cop chosen shit like that and you know like in any sort of show or you know they re create this guy went on a rampage
what if i do that i would always think that like i don't want to i don't want to be a guy ones arrived robin banks like and i don't have friends of raw banks in i know a couple due to rob banks i want to talk about the bank unwanted thought about robbing a bank you don't mean shit happens so i'm i when i see like laziness we're fucked up shit and other people that's what makes me man and what makes me madison i'm afraid i've seen it myself so are you afraid of seeing you yourselves that why you're telling on these guys just i honestly confound from a place of where i think i can give you a little bit of help to make it but almost like a golf swing advise a bad example org like torn apart and every week i go someplace i'll find like a boxing culture whatever and i work every guy ll just show me how to throw a punch different ripen here's a difference you running your seeking help ok going to someone you saying i want to improve this will you help me what they're doing is just living their life
doing their act and in performing there are the way they see fit and what you're doing is offering unsolicited advice so they came up to you that would be a different thing if they came up the ngo look john you're an awesome comedian if you could give me some advice or anything you do which i've done for friends you know i've done some unsolicited shit for friends to wear pull them saying oh do you gotta stop doing that like disputes fucked up like that i'm level headed i'm one hundred percent over over control letting it stuff like that like i'll even say now ok i guess the tool wait like it i'm she'll get onstage ngo good motion i clap live come on you better than that i dont like that meant that makes me malware i always go listen don't give an option tell them how they're doing you dont say they say you guys look like you're in a great moat why asked why asked that lay on why so i will say but you you're right i was at the gym recently i was doing a credible swing one of the trainers at two jim came over said you're doing it wrong here
to do it and i was so offender like no i'm not i friends cut of wealth this is exactly how you supposed to and i felt this probably the same way that well that sounds like me was incorrect was you you're you're pretty much sign i get asked i didn't ask for his this health rushlight regardless if he was like it probably what he said was could have helped me i ain't advising people gimme advice when they're not write down another shy words guy i thought they were completely wrong that's a martial arts thing to gradual come over and giving advice all the time why keyser ornaments gotta you will not give you advice and urges it's some weird fuckin alpha control like tell you how to do it like that's not right for safer i am all down for advice of you know what the fuck you doing but it's hard for people take advice from a people they don't like that's tough or you know of your their jealous of you they get somewhere think of you like you're the headline of your child have franzl ask how exciting and there bobby mc fucks dick from columbus ohio you know
its work even though the punch thing how often every week how with such a different every guy says i punch wrong and in when will the recital in there but it's all that frazier use a throng of this way of anything like what i ended you know joe phrase mike tyson through two totally different live talks joe frazier do that that palm down left hook thyssen would throw the palm facing him left hook and bolder some in older the lawsuit another while we had yeah we're boss and progress is awesome grace guess ever and you know i mean no one could tell you what to do if you're doing it effectively in pool game appalled is a legendary player named keith mc he was the color money remember that movie the color money of tom cruise play the pull us or that wanted that poor how when i lived in chicago really
i don t play don t play this guy creaky magrini play this guy grady stevens and keep my treaty was known is like one of the great is gambler pool players in the history of california and nation wide he used to walk around with a tv show say with it with a t shirt rather walk rounded professional term to a t shirt on its head the world gets the eight what that means is that we will speak the world the eight balder playing nine ball and he will give them an extra money ball the whole iq gamble with anybody but he'd be crackdowns fork who knows why couldn't mess and he had a terrible like is fundamentals were completely wrong he would arm out completely sideways because he learned how to play as a little kid when he was so small he couldn't raises dale so we have this side armstrongs who do it totally completely wrong but you would run
every party right really used to tell him that he is wrong right i'm sand like yeah he going on stage and asking so whose you're having a good time because you asked the girl are you having a good time tonight you know tat you would get upset but what if he came back with the greatest line ever right after that yeah you know i'm saying time innocent i mean there is this style man it's a style i'd i will just i've got the new leaves girls which i will sit in the back eat my chicken tenders in just walk a hotel at my only pepys i have ever when guys are opening up is guys that could be i use the word fuck too much like that they use much it's uncomfortable to use it after them because some guys they did get nervous another fuckin this fuckin guys find totally fuckin slogans bugging you mad lacking then fucking becomes it becomes it comes this guy god with is sounds stupid but fucking you know when you use
this you utilise the war if you utilised work properly it's a great weren't you know this can guy thinks that he can do it you know that's funny didn't mean i'm saying it like real lays the fucking has it brings more meaning to more volume to the sentence but when you you all the time it does nothing hilarious who area it just jack's it throws specially idle sailors tolerably waste and mattie cursors we have a friend he met her shoe edge of used open a poor job larry going to day he was hilarious back in the day i haven't seen recently but i hear he somehow out of nowhere start saying the word hilarious in like every cent so he be like
her letter is i went out to get starbucks today larry s most delicious has starbucks ever hilarious like i would like you to help us woke larry stroke larry's and now i hung out with them their day homework apart cousin i don't remember it now so i don't know of maybe hilarious it up i think he said who areas but only it was under much yeah there's no way you keep that up he said a furious pace yeah then the nowhere it because you we're just face lama born i was in high school after everything we say we go brown brown like all right so like and i put my dad literally we're gonna kill me one day you know i guess i did more alone i'm gonna do it after you watch the new through the very apparent that one mobile phone zoo period than we in our group which the word powerful powerful yet powerful in our group we see all comes from my crazy for larry whose nodding intergroup anymore we kicked out
we want a different direction much love area where we are but he also came up with the head slab of you see like sometimes mean goldberg more doing you have saved get excited oh my goodness slap him on the forehead through that my friend larry and the word powerful came from where you know i'm glad it's over we did for like two it's like i got so sick of our time is a very nice in our lives our act you know much respect the greatest will we have the right to say one rate great comedy movie bore outlined yeah via one one great ali moving man stuff to fuck with that movie when those guys we're both naked wrestling in the hotel room i'm sorry that's one of the finest scenes in the history of the world that we should recognise that way you could tell me if your partners based cheating on your hanging out with the different groups of people as they start doing aware so your with a girl or son then i'll for no reason to use those powerful yet we may that's new that's not in our group never yet there's u alienated problem lack effort in the barrel people doing that but what powerful is as you know we the way we say powerful so just to explain
someone go what time i would term you guys want to get some food above five powerful stood i really liked were powerful could nobody ever sorrowful tat gets you say like the usa powerful things too powerful new laptop who
fulness negroes but some people want to be someone you say they go hey to anyone who arby's powerful you got power on powerful ok what my parents you're the two issues that all comes back to you you're gonna wanna dance theme is needs you need a friend i applaud yet tell you you are fucking up your brain go on the road by yourself you doing too much you're over thinking too much to various spending too much time alone that's why you're indolence and of the press and we go on the road to go down the road with a group of us it's joey and brian army and we go it's a rolling party so it's not what i miss i miss my kids i miss my wife i miss my house i miss my bed i miss my car i miss all that stuff but when i'm on the robot i'm a lonely i have my buddies we have great times what you are doing is you're doing to show so have fund or in the show and the rest your day sucks bag addicts and why is it such a bag it next year too cheap to pay an opening i what
if you're sitting in your hotel room watching entourage you should be going to the movement of exploring with hangs out i'm what sitting hotel watching what you guys are guys we're a torrent land right this is very important in prime was doing a thing from the portly club you i did you i pay your stream ds reserve and anyone decide to smoke in whatever and i fell asleep i was doughnuts watch that fell asleep
the next day and that was crazy we d as was outspoken and then i glitter want tat didn't fucking happening i wasn't with that that was those guys and poorly like what my life sign then you to see carnage karma corn hit me sleep i like i gotta go do something that's ridiculous you're the thinking that you guys is also still is it just now when you guys do you stuff in your tweeting its we are doing the same thing man we're like we didn't we did the maxim tour we did the maxim for you mean tat we had a great we had agreed forget army charlie charlie's a cool mother fucker we're gonna get him on the park as to use do we should do a goddamn reunion with three of us get ready charlie's cousin devils with a more realistic guidelines rich super nice guy i ran into their maui
when i went to the fair seasons of malware vacation with the rogan clan and just out of nowhere i see rich at the at the at the club desk or one of the four check and i go what's up to ngos how should we do any provocation oh shit charles you with eddie i get the hang out eddie murphy really do eddie murphy i can't eddie murphy goes where you're funny mother fucker how would you nice and that it is about us is non existent aims in real time like this is now happening there's no way i'm meeting eddie maria and he's telling me that i'm a funny mother fucker
thank you very much man then that means the world come from you and then challenges mean that i'm hanging out with lena was moms there in his family's errand shall examine these get a kid they all looked like eddie but fat a lot of them do we're like those made reference eddie but we know that road eddie murphy clues fuck man you know i thought it would be weird play such a huge movie star but he's just sitting there eating he's like this like an outdoor lunch spot in he's a sit down eating that eating that we celebrate we have their lunch with eddie murphy so we too have trial here the thing about charlie turning murphy used to get these air not air force one is to all why nitrates and you get a little bit of blue on the top or you shoelaces would go from your genes and would leave him in the green room how go you left your shoes year another their blue stuff on it you re not going to
i already got a new blue sir are white and black community how count more than three thousand like not merely is ridiculous is the change in here where rich come out right hold out your hand has taken his rings off his feet putting our riches fingers at you know i like i did take each next year these big crazy medallions there are covered in diamonds or gaming there there are those rights we're things that you see like job rule where our rules even alive anymore one of those guys little way to get all is crazy diamonds and entirely would lead would go to rich and he would leave one on just keep it classy keep classy charlie but he would take most of his heavy shit yeah i was open i'd run into trouble i got a guy from skin industries sent me a watch for some work i did with any me i was wanted a cardiac roadster so we sent me his cardio roach they're not one piece on
didn't have diamonds on thirty so just imagine watch completely bling doubt right and he goes you did so worked up largest gimme a couple bucks for you know he is i learned stupid what are you so i had it on this diamond thing it was so bling doubt that you couldn't is awake i couldn't where amphilochian bogot me one right now just listening to you you can wear you gotta have some personality not me so i took the phone haunt chops anti cardiac cardenio guy goes if we those diamond to be worth about two hundred fifty thousand we don't know where those diamonds came from so you know and it still nobody believed i had all the paperwork and stuff so then i was like how do i run into charlie murphy summit i have run it to him and then i bet you i could sell cartier told you that it was stolen now i just don't have a market diamonds the diner
definitely aftermarket yet but it was all in el gave me the the blockades of cardio definitely didn't do the diamonds did not ok definitely does it is so much is by give it back it was he said of a back to that was a whole thing i couldn't i didn't do it the whole threat as a whole but when i re legs you now saw go what time i worked well when i hosted the ethics pursue them a mere words when i was in a new war it out like i'm unaware i'm wearing a tuxedo and then i went to blame me can't pull it off took it off and then i sent it back to it because i'm like i don't know what i can do it this i've had nothing i don't know he wears crazy shit like that but he's yeah and you know he's also tries ferraris porn star he was porn star porn company than they gonna industry yeah so i gave it back to him i found out my watch yesterday was on i think was teams ears sunlight i found my watch is why the government looks for
because of terrorism if you will this watch you automatically automatically get flagged why i don't fucking document is a certain brand of casio lot i wear yeah it's the old school casio what very romano has when they had only watch you have aware here say me i love that's right that's what i've had since i was a kid so i've always buy now i'll buy indifferent killers where you hearing the government's flagging people who your house i was fine fine eyes and ardent made it i've ever known because what it has asked training anti terrorist training camps they all with a certain kind of watchdog to fort for whatever reason because they could our program it too they set off bombs and stuff like my real yeah so it ended the exact lao garlic is wearing this casio watch might be terrorist that is ridiculous f ninety one w yeah it's don't we
its glory once the hour so fucking stupid i swore i thought you were trolling no i was designed to be a joke to have a job again and you know i can't believe that china's roads because the arena guy scott came or has it for twelve dollars so every time i lose at our scratch as gotta came whereby no one for toolbox and now they make an indifferent colors like they they made him in different colors back in the day to but this one is like the it's like now i'm flagged if you go to the airport wearing this watch there are trained to look for this was so stupid and you know the that's the one re romano has at watch inroad won't get a new one i know no elder lawgiver terrorist marxist anyway guys is he's an awesome guy you know he's really funny we did that taping back to back of that all prevents show the green room and when
was up there he was talking about how you know he goes to bed does he shows they do not like i think you do i met the win my been mirage ain't nobody does it something ass giant place right and he said and ran before i go out there i feeling of fraud is like children because i don't like that's really me like a strict them where you're going and kills for an hour and then just feel like shit and sitteth it's weird it's the really nice guys like for whatever reason like those nice guys like re romano super super nice guy but does really nice guys site they never et enjoy their success kevin james is the same way we enjoy a little idle surely i do and i have watched the lot of that's my biggest allay stories i watch lotta you see fighter in his house and although we gotta rule like where i don't talk like dirt right you know because i don't but when that rule but i dont no well enough tat i know some people like quite like when i watch you have see i run
and i dont have anybody overnight sit there it always what me and be my my saviour midtown saturday we're doing all that we will soon reach so i'm afraid to lake taught me cause you're at his house in its is weakened respect babington he be the guiding like can you not talk like to listen arose so it's not a rule that he has just you don't feel comfortable at his house yes everything everything overgrown thinking you over thought that's the point you made it a rule has has actually you introduce the cabins speak not before me can always gonna fuckin turkey leg and are funded appear mindful of meal there with the mouth begone may bring another made it a rule in your head before you it's almost no
how to row now and so great maybe that's why i've always like i might have for any just sits there like log doesn't same fucking funny every crack and jobs does it good second even watching fight of your friends is actually at home on a tv might be a little bird than watch live if you have about four hours with this well why here's my opinion is shit because i'm they're not even watching it live with my friends i'm watching enlivened working so even though i enjoyed the fights very much it's the same experience as watching it live when you don't have to talk because when you don't have to talk issued to shit we're friends you guys we're doing ass years round easily everybody's drunk as fuck it's a totally different where it it's a party watching the fight and when you watch invite lively france arusha love go with any ways to go watch the the
the easy ones at the hard rock in the evening and we wish to go fuck and was ass a man we i didn't have to work sidney drinking and having a good time but about watching my tv man we don't have to deal with other shit heads you know i don't like this weekend's going to be fifty five thousand fucking people in toronto oh my god and it's probably going to be way better than fifty five thousand people in america that that the number of douche bag per capita is way smaller in canada this is just a minnow be absurd fuck you of those fuckin move their career just tat you you might not be a douche bag but you can't deny that the huge numbers of douche bag we have in this country so saying america's an awesome it's not saying a lovely velvet individually but you click to many people together to become one big douche bag otto bought you know or yet yeah whatever his clicks and suddenly you hit that commenting on everything about living somewhere else vanilla my parents bought in in detroit went from thirty eight
this pine trees fifty bucks a hundred ten thousand nine ninety stall indoor riding like almost like a hockey arena indoor heeded to write your horses ninety stalls nice pine trees for like a hundred ten thousand dollars my stored unit that i pay for unless angeles costs more and the more you know when you start thinking that john i have been got the more is my dad has a shooting rage out very put in like a she i love guns and we got there and dogs run around in you shoot stuffing when i'm thinking as you say don't you never even home anyone i've been on the road since november every animal body i know hustles more than half wrong i came up with you now you out there every day yes oh now your web browser this thing is you ve been over thinking your browser history and i offer so i've had a joke in my act for ever in any just kind of out of context i say what when your wife sees that you have zero internet history she know something's up what does your
have check you will not wait and i thought it it's a fake paid it's not a legitimate units till the socket i've done that before we are and then i go they should have a browser that has faked sites so because sometimes in the integrated joe grey blue tooth and save the world that org automatically pops up right so i will sit in hotel whereby myself once eating donated stuff online there's gotta be way to actually make this as a browser and i by the way i was talking to so many about it in their seen some guy was at a convention you know what he's got his computer hooked up to where six her people could see and he starts typing like whatever his programme as you know to show people and all history of late eugene dot com where all popped up for always able to throw away so i created this web browser called history rewrite where you can
on any website and you all why it and one of our pre loaded sites automatically pops up so i created this browser friend of mine and like a guy who does this will you have the ideas in the way we rewrite dotcom you'll see it yes i went to him and i go is this do this issue goes that should know that's a white list any sort explain goes i think i can do this so we so immense what it does is it blows out your history throws twenty it's in there right so it's never completely empty right did you choose the sites are yet yet we pick the site just to see the work but now like we can change them up it's not forget to make em funnier inevitable does one thing happened to me what do they know you don't put that downward scars shoot you selfish defeating no purpose it's not bad you know he said to me once used to ensure don't my camera assholes and also why they shut undercover nothing new duties and some some girl polar pants down debts
the claims here but you didn't tell me that some guy had his face up this chicks asked while this was going to get their hands on stuffed his face and harassment peter ass on camera sadie sit at a longer why he wouldn't you no wonder why they wouldn't want to have that displayed throughout offices with the big use dream labelled the bottom of it she had thought i was a kid do doesn't matter you can be in someone's ass in an office walk in if you walk in and you know we're watching this pod cason you know your work and your spouse we're doing something you got this in a small window in the corner mean but you do know you're paperwork and everything and arduous these girls no big deal that's fine until you walk and you see some girls ass john some guys get its face burden you why did andy any as dick hanging out slap in some guy in the face with a in your like ok how is he like listed as top hit on using we
have you seen any of anti dixie stream videos pulses dig the let the couple i saw he was lapping some do in the face with his dick now discussing an issue have now i swear to god i saw with my own eyes but you're winter tutor please please verifying i do not have time to google earth is all certain things that yes i don't have too much dignity to google it up there with the browser the guy did it with we throw it out there just to see and tested it and stuff and we have
a lot of people downloading the first item promoting those pretty cool yeah it's like a good idea if it only does to things like i've had some people go you should have ado more know it it's only their fur rife remake as simple as possible area we could we have a we were upgrading it where you can put in sight you want to be able to hospital that did you know that just took a little bit of emily charge for this thing out free if i look at you you're just trying to help make any gives me some talk while when i'm on radio but it also yeah that's a good idea if it serves no purpose in it and you help and push you have men say pushing up and people yes i always get people go or not because it lets about letting you going to let you like their own sick the hooker that no that's your addison rise party for my wife in your wife was come home and see you you're looking thumbs this priority i tried them ass my wife come simon she sees it goes through my browser and says i can't believe you try trying to
they make a surprise party from below bitch why you look at my fucking computer would now shall go i saw you bought john have we went to john haven't website disease tat like yes which which i was to put you guys are now don't think i did this one but we live with you d ever come home and you want to look into your fucking computer pewter definitely ever she shivered through your computer i wouldn't you never see his wife i i would imagine you staying at another do do so how do i now right mind set of cameras your prayers and evaluated cameras assistant easy and stop wasting why my wife but go unheard areas why did you say talk like that then what that today's been banana dog particular player
money ever you ve never caught your wife fuckin around your computer it's not like the nebula way people could cause or on facebook having relations i know a guy who got his his girl looked at its status and its profile and saw he was looking at an ex girlfriend something came up if you would have had my hideously ray i to look at that want to ban a problem florence he was looking at his ex girlfriend history why do you just like you us crazy bitch how can we get a day for kids man can we can do that that's ridiculous automatically i dont get back i think wasn't eliza villages checker ex girlfriend that makes our exit so it's no big deal dude let unless you check your ex girlfriend and you get mad at your wife looked for you don't forget appreciate guys states ancient like that john have finally we cleared up a lot of things but you today for you
here's what you feel good about all this i feel good amendment and let it go saint louis is weak whatever the guy you know they lose bite my lap nor yet we at the same time as is at the funny bone the funnybone saint louis what days i'm there tomorrow what small thursday there are only eight roof sunday ouch you do the full weaker sunday gets ratio saturday but i move you why shows on saturday i moved a third show saturday to sunday double shun double sunday so i wouldn't have to but there now like i could have been home sunday murder slave to them on friday i say so instead of double sunday just have one on sunday yeah i pushed through because they are but you know i do you're better off to a now because it ain't bad have that extra day and i'll tell you what the third show is death that
saturday show that's too much in its day not my criers ok to go using all bodies crowd mamie stand hope it's the his crown for twenty minutes when he's with deeds ratios on saturday nobody's crowd after the by the time the headline targets on stage its nobody's crowned that could then show is dead people are tired especially on saturday night man you ve been drinkin get the day off but time saturday night if you have a midnight show you're not going to show up at midnight and you're gonna go to a bar first you gonna go meet your friends at a bar let's have a couple of beers are you line are let's get line you sit down you start order more beers by time show runs around you fuckin tired i don't think i've ever seen a fight not go down and amid nitrate in a dispassionate and that was the last time you could smoke saint louis he was at last club you can smoking so even up until last year you would show up and the last covering the country what it s tail smoking douse
one of the ones i wear recently just chain and in love i re that's right the last time we were there i was making fun of them like a did you send the right doesn't it seem like nineteen seventy fees are k especially down tat what i like about texas is that the whole attitude of texas i get the fuck out of argument whenever we want said texas is this shit i love tax i was aware i was like if i was there i be half way to every place i gotta go and that the problems they got some archaic we'd laws the weeds only i don't think so good you always say that willie nelson gonna arrest nails and smoking taking out on the road while travelling in abeyance still ridiculous they pull you over and go looking for it ended away you hear what he got what his pay back was what the court did right but that's also because they gotta turn a negative publicity tunnel people if the fuck man you're you're resting willing nelson and so the guy said look his punishment it s a sing a song mutual enough so it s kind of funny so that's not crazy is still gotta go to disguise fuckin courthouse and sing a song how will you leave me alone company doesn't have to sing a song few for free gangster you know you can the asshole some old man wants to feel happy by you know enjoying a plant that grows naturally you can't
i am not down those stupid laws this great part to texas dislike doubts as bad as i love houston i love austin ostend it would be my number one place to live but the problem is the surrounding areas man they take white trash to a new level man they d get that those black people dragging behind trucks white people remember that minon minette should happen and those that was some weird fuckin little suburb there are some we you know out why i forget what part texas that happened in your member no but either way you know there's there's a bunch of weird spots way go all that shit with a branch the videos went down texas astray and i thought about nashville kid you're years thirty literally to every no mike nan tight to ever move back to michigan and just now they fuckin cold do yet the winter i can get used to you crazy
austin texas is the shit the other egg to me yes sending us possible all throughout the california northern california sort you let me live a little different air than me and we don't live that for our part i live further out the new just by a few miles but to me this is why it is peaceful and is out here to me this to me goddamn people i feel like i'm in the middle of a beehive i'm just as is especially is i've got older and smoke more we need i become more sensitive to energy and become more sensitive to like what we stand with you again to hamburg dogs are barking really yet you know now that you know you got a deal with a lot of shit man you have to do with russia is just part of of living near bunch people and you something about downtime you're on the road you doing shows its airplanes filled with people and its airports filled with people and hotels filled with people show filled with people and then
downtime when you get home is not ignore necessarily downtime and when you have that it's like you're you're always running it like high europeans right like the reason why i moved to the woods in colorado a guy had a try to explain this to my wife like why wanted to live there why it was great for me what s great about it you know it's not like i'm crazy i'm not ready to go fuckin you know i may have it has rash typewriter i'm not ready to go unabomber i'm just saying i liked a little nature in my world i need a balanced things out like some peace and quiet but to her it was like living in that the whole reality you know she's not doing show she's not even the usa in enemy she's a normal human she doesn't you know so too it's like maybe there's a little too much right isolated and then deal with some of those weirdos fuckin town you know when you have you have you gonna live with you know a couple honey people in a mountain guess what those people can be strangers fuck in others
probably some interesting writers i lived down the street from an ashram there was a real ashram or people just fuckin meditate all day i would also be an infidel shit you are looking to know what is going on i found it it's a three day magazine it's like a three day silence thing were all you do is probably that it was in colorado is probably re days silence you gonna rock three days no talking that's impossible for any also have a ten day one and then but it's that you meditate i don't want your loud to talk to people at the thing off it's completely silent while you know i have sleep app nea and i was thinking about again in operation where a mouthpiece when i go to sleep but put a blog up about it on my website and i went to sleep study i have a big tongue i have a really fat tongue and i have
tonsils and my adenoids are still animal lie back my tongue closes over the the roof of my montague with some people that they have issues with them some people have issues would sleep avenue because their fat because you get all this vat tissue and other black athletes a lot of times get it because they their neck is thick and for me it's that that my next economic i left a lot and then kettlebells or shit but also the tongue my tongue is like that so what they do cut out like some your mouth tissue and cut out your tonsils in your add noise and others do dumb the foxes mr gannon gladiator gana cab i can't members name he he had on and he he said it helped him a lot but if i do it the point is i can't talk for ten days like for ten whole fuckin days have we where we go crazy if you had a camp dull for three days regis and not allowed to pass judgment was sounded background those in germany that sounds like that
firstly vaporization air conditioning not working i would urge this hot in your dude tell me are you are you how jonathan sweating but i don't know if it's because i'm having a heart attack or what you taught me how does balls are well it also could go up your drive piecing together drinking coffee man is so high that that this water drops and the crack of your back and i actually feel refreshing you're yellow right now my chrome browsers taken a shit on me you need to get jobs blog if you think i do history rewrite i'm just happy that i actually had an idea and it followed through with it and got it done you know i bet eight billion state you no cure for cancer ideas that i've never really done this is the start of a new john heffron menu start of fires what internet suffer actually spent
should not begin to have done a good job done i've been really kind of visualizing doing some stuff did in a script for moving edged so we saw my vote we spent a flea maybe you read it please i know nobody was interested i didn't ask any of my friends to do it but it's interesting the friends of mine that i've read eight billion of their script suddenly so it's kind of like a test to see ok i'm weeding out some of the people like that that was a good thing i've and ask anybody to read anything a mind really for the most part dies annoying is fine but i have not yet may i would never go to hey can you said or is but i what i mean there's companies that like after we did it that i paid just in they give you like script that i don't feel bad about his own ok down to review yea more than my friends that's interesting you know it's like its voice
we are just some guy asked me to rediscover wants and unlike did you're asking me for an hour and a half my time you don't even know you that's a lot of goddamn time another much time it a day if you want me to really read and pay attention to its an hour now that citizen that's ridiculous question to ask someone but how are you get someone to renew script you gotta get ebay has done fuck but what do they do a good job like what is it like do you get it back and go fuck you you wanna do it like a raid you know like my study review it yet almost like a great unlike this party and make no sense in yoga ok i'll take those notes in global blah some get knocked on working time book with doctor friend of mine oughta chicago a doctor's a shrink sure a lot of books on psychology in comic you're you're working on psychology book christianity working on a weight loss but yes yes they
it's just kind of you you over the greens have it think that was your bathroom bs degree when i was to go to college some doors and so what does this book about he's written a lot of books like farley ablution why comic self destruct you think you you're domains and so he also does a lot of cognitive therapy stuff in comics are really good at re framing shitty situations in their life and blowing them so far out of proportion where a lot people have that trouble so one comics like so i just broke out with my girl just ass my job some people takes up so seriously they can't see this crazy kind of blown up in that context you there's a therapy in psychology that shows people do that so we taken part of my acting in i talk about how i write in how everything comes from some shit my life and how you how you gonna get that prospect and she so hot who others they differ
this is different than that doctor i have you hanging out with all these darning doctor you know it's a college doktor v there is no valid is gorgeous out areas living a porno feel so let's get out of here get someone might see our so getting luggage and people are you told you they go to john have run doc on cogeneration all that you have to have have ron dark in there now has instead everything else there if you want you know living through a twitter when all was not i think i might i enjoy twitter probably more than no when i enjoy toward i've met my play you know i'm not i don't plug a lot of stuff i probably per retreat in trying to say some funding than outgun occasional
unplug so you respect people's attention span so you say phoenician on twitter or you know but i like that i say that with my tweet economic click on use like i clicked on some you did like about that no time dimension for like some of the stuff tat you ve been through a lot of fascinating started here out of tightening was fucking amazing because a video adieu getting hit by lightning twice and then i constantly click and reliance cat on his office chair a promising i'll get this guy said totally fake has a lot of people say that but i don't know pretty rail to me but who knows you tolerate this there's enough shit that's real here i mean i believe that they would take a lightning thing is for sure but what is it a film that's better that was an easy at it if i couldn't reenact that one simple right just make the guy fall down yet engineer birthmark cut you know it's easy it look good though
it was just enough it's always grannie security film michael you know like that that's your default alyssum alone on twitter know anything i may be used to a guy i waded out a lot of my twitter people listen to nonsense and eleven people have revealed i waded out meeting but i have some people would like let you know i'm on following i got a bunch of people on followed me the other day that's what i want to talk about a bunch people got mad at me man because i said something about easter this is no bullshit i read this just because itself fucking silly like this is ok we're gonna i gotta go back and find it because i could believe that people were actually getting upset by this it but the big people kept saying is that i wasn't being classy because it was stir you know that it's also gay sex day where you have gay sex
where can i energetic wanting here's one hears want one guy says on us when we get the sea the original tweet ok i can't find the original tweet here it is dear time travelling historians and a future trying to makes sense of easter let it go and have some chocolate known understands it that's all i said that all i said go and have some chocolate to time we have nothing right and so i hear not cool man making fun of correct christ and christians on the holiest of days can't you leave you can't leave it alone can you and fan of yours while back like well i quote so i tweet all you silly folks are actually upset at someone is making fun of zombies and giant rabbits you need mushrooms in your life so and then i get
attack after attack people attacking me for retweeting him leave him out there so your fans and quotes can attack you know this other fan i didn't tell people what to say about this tell me i just why i want you to see the kind of craziness that i get when i say dear time travelling historians don't you figure easter just how chocolate like dat sends you and a bunch of people like a dozen use the word classy like real selassie making fun of christ on easter like well i'm not making for dialogue among so many of these are being see the most shit in the world while the pyramid lasers focused on other negative in their supposed to be religious with the people that we're doing this all how does one hashtag inner sentence he is risen in court he is risen like like a boner what now not like a boner but that would be willing to take it the reason for the gay sexiest day ever yeah into my cave
let me move this wrong is risen randomly i just got a tweet somewhat you we're talking about my thing in some kid girls says ok this owns tool but what about private browsing every browser has it sorry dumb idea can say some yet every browser has browsing but the deal is when you hit that you have zero in your internet what private browsing also does is it also just stops anything yet doing yet but you have to constantly mind build their turn it on trying an alibi right of your on the internet for two hours you're not gonna have zero internet his right and it's gonna say use your head you want married have no idea what kind of ours that is really ridiculous thing you have to worry about is not allowed to look at things i don't trust
what are you crazy you out there looking at what you're interested in tat i want you to keep your mine in line with my feelings that's why and how they can be able denied one moment dead sweatshirt girls it look at worship and yeah that girls like your browser internet history is way more shocking than mine was masturbating to gay porn does all the time no guy guideline guy gay gay porn is not girls going out and i would have levels got out is porn its has grown girl porn he knows tat gay porn would you do if you came over to one do despite fuckin some guy and she's finger herself she thinks it's hot to start struck my shaft
you show growth is something we really andrews you why you hang i shall have to please the classical must give it lacks chiefly fire something so some people can say things and they say to sir we're in same words re lose a lot and text do you really do you know i mean if you read the script for a porno the guys fuck his wife and yes it is and it says you want to put on my ass oh my god we can't know this that's that's just script you now just written but you the two to four ways like put my ass you know i just go onto digging arrests or debt or at home the eighty two tonnes or can be you wanna put it my ass watts no we can't know
that's an angry girl she's angry you got something either way nothing fuck subdued more for the rest their life than then porn where they have anal sex because it always goes well and there's never fucking complaints no one's ever angry you now believe
fuck someone nine times are telling us that sorry heathworts you know i didn't know is what you should have told me you ash is not meant to be fought in iran i learned is if you have a finger in the girls ass an inn don't put it like taken out put in her vagina you didn't know that dumbing didn't everything about my god you give her crazy funky and now she's making though i don't hit babies that i dont figure a lotta grozny ass a lender orderly fondling oh yeah you know a lot of people right now shut off the fucking town we were good for about two hours and then suddenly a year do this eastern just fuckin morons fathers had lining and i was in the back right now by the same guy my tweet like him to relate in place and lets you do it you train of my crowd make my problem
by the way are the comments that i have some kind of social this or tat you do some long do you really think i do you know me well you know like how you know how i act on the show is completely listen brian is unusual dude augury nobody everybody's difference you don't have to be around peg or a square hole or we're all different he raised it is unusual to world dollar is under usages guy drawn it's kind of get mad pimps gills use a novel does the best with all my social disorders than you think me get these girls like i'm a retired and people feel bad for retard so they start like slowly like coming my hair and then they felt that i wouldn't is do you feel a little retarded though be honest i
where do retired on this deaf people it's almost like your half play a character i am happening here i'm read by a man of my brain was shelly oh right away you turn myself in the third person won't we target girls the formal red then does arabians doesn't have it i never share that sanctions sometimes when i see on facebook and i see a full name my brain doesn't connect saw i will click on your thing your profile will come up i'll see the picture of you then i'll go yo like that my process yeah there's something prying your view name and i can never even do some people that you just think of their like one of the duties from from the tap our crew his name's tim rivals calm scrape zoe scrape so if i tim written somewhere the fucking oh yeah i mean not just scrape you know i got up doing the chechen people
i voted as i did just wasting my time with this report we need to do now we get you some podcast fill it with due podcast italy the is thankfully located on whole thing is you have to be about yourself is coming s got anywhere we launched a hundred bucks every week and take some fuckin kid with you on the road from the desert podcast with him squat once a week or my how many how many funny young comments are there to improve that would love to go and open for you pay him a hundred bucks or sad or a hundred fifty bucks a set of well fuck you wanna pan you know and you know it's going to cost you a little bit more money but you're going to have a much better experience and you can put together a podcast do whatever do it after the shows easily man you can interview all kinds of people you can others always interesting how many times you talk to club owners and have some crazy ass fucking comedy stories of the one too
tracing worried came through town and i use and always about some of these guys be total dicks to the club owners go really loved to say that stuff here i mean i'm sending the corner but you're going to my can i get someone and then you hear the next day of somebody who was in your garnier you got two waitresses pregnant but we don't care can be sold out you would be great apart cats were you're talking to the opening comic but you're telling them what you're doing wrong for an hour this got tablets cliffs were here that's what's real job rouse everybody doing do you really want to ask that you asked me how everybody knew this would show that we wanted to help these how to do and deadlines are where the fuck and john have shut up it's off that would be a great part guess they put seldom cities with those sharply and no stick or on your city no stick the sooner we get a lot happier emotional podcast for real though like you do it seriously like you're paying a care
durham what did you just say about sharpish explain yourself you did with the first guys that that sell stuff that i like em sees that of grab like a blank city and they get with the sharply right the name on it and then they sell their act after show but not even produce cities i'm can used they sell blank seedy not without like what their computer that burn the burned see their act and then with the sharply right there name ok and then that's what they sell to people active show you mind if i sell some i would buy that if i was a fan of hold us yeah using about that i like him i one hundred percent live but i also but then i metal i go this is the last image you want for four eighty cents you can make a pre packed it's cool thing to give them so you you look profession and there are more than just money is this a recording of the show they just did now this is like a there they had already made yeah that's what i thought they made and what i think is a good ideas after get off their show you sell a a pass that in the next week
you're gonna go to a website you can download the seat that tonight show you can do the whole thing immediately there's a guy that me with that i asked my go can you shoot this one little clip of my act i want i want to use it for something a camera and then he shot it and put it up on you to pile up this would you be prepared if i say can i use your camera for second brian can can you just shoot my sat in galicia and then the that night without you see anything he puts it on youtube while someone didn't yoga wow you take it down no cause i know but i think he did it from a place of aiming to help him out could he said he wanted it for the internet so i didn't i think it was unaware of you he was gonna film for the internet now ice it's for my history were rewrite i got money to talk about this browser onstage i just want to get that adequate and i'm gonna use it rise of then he shoots he shoots it puts the whole set online then he put the thing on youtube so i set a lot of it now
but but i wanted to our drive and then i was put on my computer in whatever but he put it on youtube and i was like you didn't would you say to him hey i appreciate you did this but i didn't want to get this internet right because it came from a place of being helpful confrontation on rag but unlike my she now second get em like my being to take for being here at last he should have a debt to meet and i most you rivah of think that's not cool there's a reason why every club says don't use cameras units was to film and because you if you get a guy's active it already gives out there in the internet maybe you don't wanna go see him then you know maybe always got the same this was last week aerosols jokes i saw my new to people do that began watch everything of yours now before the currency and look that's a valid reason for not go no shall tell you if you go to see someone i mean look if if i was a kid merrily at a certain amount of money i know
the comic watches clip on youtube and whose asshole act and was broke down the six clips and i watched all of them and then he's gonna be in my town but only a week ago but the got new material he's awesome but i'm not gonna go like did a little you know people less people will see you show you know i just gets really matters out even got a big a bit about it a bit about and people to stop doing and stop filming shows what's going on but it's so part of that it's part of the internet people going to get clips off your phone you know off their phones at you like that but there's a big difference between that like some sneaky audience members just trying to have some fun and some assholes it films you and then tell you and puts it online it puts it s just trying to get hits on is russia another comic that's like these another comment is that my the m c tal wrinkling every kind of guy code or comic code that you could slap a bit i just think you weren't going to know didn't you
operating minority was one in the green room in the but a clip was on youtube on his chin and unlike isn't me on his in a comma goes yam any potential there how many so he put up it was really sure it was only like three three because i wanted it for to promote the browser so wasn't my whole act but the fact that it would have been my third one on your homework was it the clip to promote the browser put online forum on the cliff to promote but i didn't what could i wanted i kind of said to me that's kind of pointless regardless of through aren't so that it can so confused i thought you put your whole act online so
only put learn colored lamented he slipped a couple of minutes and i knew i guess you should have put anything online and was the cliff tat i said i wanted to use our now nearly as offensive is pretty i thought you liked acta ok i'm system because that's what i was thinkin too in this whole time a man down the slope essential disorder get this this whole i guess it's a fucking intervention tools so john have run when you gonna start doing just words podcast get on the bus fuckin programme i look on this week i'm home all next also start next we does what would i have this much equipment underneath my desk into box at an angle with together ragtag orders got brains out well i will make sure that we mention it on the pockets of the pig and people can download it when you actually do one of doing it will put it on twitter but i think it's a perfect solution view mean nobody's more miserable than you when you go on the road in arms and we were never we talk you always talk about in the rover eighty might never you now
just have one other thing to do and that of the thing people would love it's like another it's an opportunity to do another show the dual doolittle radio show little john have found on the road do it from hotel rooms that's your you're doing it on the road from hotel rooms and maybe you know if you're in cleveland there's two clubs in cleveland that you can call the guys at the other club and i can meet you after a friday night show and after you guys can do is smoke a joint and fucking something i can travel those can't we will all be changed so i was thinking in advance setting up john have on an free entertainment for my people now need a name now snuff cobb's in san francisco next club we're doing and that is thursday friday and saturday the twelve thirteen and fourteen and as i said the last part as well as a couple days ago half the tickets already sold out and i just start talking about it and the vogue theatre which is june june tenth
that's in vancouver and that to take as just one on sale and half of those tickets sold out too so unwanted better get left out in the cold in toronto friday night gonna be sam tripoli and me so should be fun as fuck i can't wait as massey hall most of the it gets are sold out the opening this love does like single tickets so i think there's a guy under single tickets have meant that holds great too you did it last summer we did it with just asked member nice yeah is it beautiful nice i love to run i can't fucking wait you see fuckin fifty five thousand people gotta be this weekend it's gotta be knots biggest a north american history that saturday night sourcing pierre restrictions i apologise that lady bug seven from my twitter remarks to remarks today yeah explain when you dirty fucked up she wrote a really weird sentence that said something like i you know please retweet if he don't think red ban is a dish
i thought it said please retweet if you think bandit dear shows like one of those iphone like you're looking in the car why you're driving down the highway and so i retreated back some rude and i apologise you twenty bucks on some route that i personally attacker you personally something i never do on twitter i would just like i got a funny joke that i may put it was like morbid joke that i was just like all i could do this joke that i wrote but it was mean it would mean was in fact i fucked up and i feel bad look at that you guys get you making immense twitter name her eye towards lady bug seven ladybug seven what's gonna your enemies will now co opt her what i'll do i'll be nice lady books ever and again like giving too slowly but surely gain her confidence and that is why at yale reader tweets and l l them aren t with an ella well just to latin american girls really usually have since march it
and then when alligators study say i just think what that red ben guy did he was really fucked up what are your garden with me to get back to work are you easter bitches let it go and you ll see we're going to be doing it linking game with you joe surrender in aberdeen number i guess and not if i might go fishing g20 don't you see drinking game this is one shot and if i say that when a fighters walking out yet armies goobers paying and we're going to u s cassa believe ideas in a positive and acts me remember remind me that man remind me that's all there is one other thing never gonna talk about this down seti down the search for extraterrestrial intelligence budget cuts they shut that thing down those from car fact number the movie contact with joyful right i just saw them a couple weeks ago fucking great movie man still holds up bad ass movie and that was about them receiving signals from another
galaxy and the signals word directions on how to build some wormhole machine and you know you jump through it and fly through wormhole tonight you knows communicate with alien life on the ship interesting removing one of my favorites but they they shut down the programme and the reason why they shouted down ask is that no success you know all this listening this listening all this listening now who the fuck would have thought why would you think it would still be using radio era if there is smart enough to be you know they can they can travel from here in outer from other galaxies to hear why the fuck are they still using raise it that there are you know that it is going to be some new cool shit is it that they're doing radio or that of the judges it it's a signal worlds in its any kind of a broadcast any signal that comes from they were drilling in a bunch of different bandwidth silicon and any kind of signal nets where they get they get like planets give office signals novo's apron omens
of signals all sorts of different things give our signals they just trying to look a pattern and try to look for something that's that scene to be some sort of a message but it's really is a flawed idea i think it's been around forever they really never had any progress you mean that illiteracy doing worrying in auditing and waiting in waiting in waiting and waiting in hoping that if their if they can contact us they're gonna fuckin contact us i think it's gonna happen where i think there was alien life i think would easily be able to get to us before we would ever be able to detect them right now they would want to check us out in our view if you live near some planet and you had these half way evolved monkeys with nuclear weapons you wouldn't want to
goodbye and those crazy mother fucker why would you think that their smart some years given like one of the human race is amazing and they're all just let rolling around in circles like peeing on themselves will that's true but if that's true they're not coming here anyway the off the whereabouts signals you have to worry about anything mean it could very well be that we are the apex of intelligent life in the universe it's very possible it could be that that human life you know or life intelligent life any kind is really really really hard to develop and i mean it takes the absolute perfect conditions in this weird planet just happens to be a certain distance from the start of it one day we'll get smart enough to go do a plan and we have a large moons or orbit is stable you know that's the other thing we know it wasn't very much between summer and winter there they're going to pre small degrees of variations compared to some planets so we're in the ideal conditions are very well could be that this is as good as it gets what it's also pass
although the universes you know at least fourteen billion years all in this planet is only like four point six billion or something like that so that leaves out some near between nine and ten billion fucking years for one per to evolve passed the point that we have that is possible for some time and who knows this the question is how long the stars last week of the star burns out while civilizations evolving is it a big race because there are some are son is eventually in a burn out so one hand the if the human race is going to survive it has to figure out a way to colonise banks is the only way to do it mean we ve gotta stay around in the anti labour years can stay around in a few billion years we now have to act together and we now know how many billion it takes but let's just assume that if wife has been around for four billion years whatever the fuck it's been however long lifespan around it which assume a billion years now is probably still gonna be life right would have that's when the stun starts going bad it's two billion three whatever the fuck it is a vengeful if life keeps going we're gonna have to get off this vote they are there will be no more life you know it's real that simple so
if there is some sort of a life some sort of a civilization some sort of an intelligent civilization than is billion years older than us they know about us dinner not enough they do i am not convinced i watch all those ufo footage is man and i just its physical being fucked with you now that the more the recent one from jerusalem a million people twittered mean that it looks thank as fuck it we see that the one in israel do if over israel you don't wanna wanted to shoot straight up we at we talked about from a couple weeks that we talk about isn't it you said its effect what effect and after effects its yet there was very preventive effect yeah me come on then i haven't seen why and i haven't seen one where i'm like
fuck is that i haven't seen one you know everybody's got a goddamn camera on their cell phone there's pictures of the guy from seinfeld yelling nigger onstage there's video of that what are the odds you're there with where it happens and you have a camera you know there's the how often is that happened might have never happened ever again in the whole universe kramer from seinfeld nigger onstage the laugh act in someone's gotta video you tell me they have one video of one fucking alien one video of one little grey man in your room that's realistic to me one video full hunters we picked up again next season that i sit in hotels go shows negotiator my favorite renovation what is their noise cut a commercial nothing ever happens nothing happens on those go shows those are the most unsatisfying shows ever they're here thus these the real world is like eighty goes hunter shows major economic shows how they dress up like fuckin military garbage shit with powerful fucking
flashlight later shit look for goes in a basin of a building get out of your stupid that's my message out of this stupid i just really could show on history channel that just started i haven't heard anything about the that hissed the eighties acknowledging the history of the eighties technology and i guess it's really cool like one episode they dissected like the arcade gains back in the early eighties enacting technology and then they start moving onto auto that's bad it's like a tory and yeah yeah like and so then started last night in one of those just on the internet in a daze like a zombie going through everything looking old arcade gains for sale on like that craigs shit if you ever thought about making an arcade room like an old school r k maria table i like better than any games the more i play pool the more i like it pause to me way more fun arcade games at a pool table next to an arcade i don't want to play stupid videos on tron read somebody
we call on paper but it's like dr at an old car adam cruel over we're talking about old cars just villa gave an old hot rod the really like a conversation peace sit around you look at it is driving is cast stupid right you know and that's kind of those games are gonna cooler po that's old tron well yeah why play that when you play gears of war threw away stupid clearly be in just he's gonna come out here with e3 and these can be on the packet yes curfew bees coming podcast may eleventh doug benson it's gonna be on apart ass and duncan was supposed to be here today but duncans got a new showed that he's putting together himself so he's response for all the editing and he had to work through the night and who just way too tired so sleep any eyes had been up all night so duck in is gonna come back on monday and if anybody wants see john half run i highly recommended is fucking malaria signing and always has new shit to u turn over your material a lot of luck is my brain forget stuff that's why you're always writing you you ve got a great work ethic when it comes to that i appreciate that man we're talkin
i guess yesterday about lucy gay and that that new show talking funding the driver hbo which is awesome for that too just talking writing a lot of material are so john have run dot com that's what to ask if you want to check out john and john on twitter is john half wrong and you will be appearing on meda saint louis the funnybone this week saint louis funnybone thursday friday saturday and sunday hedges it's a full rights go check it out i highly recommended and check out the yes squad series of podcast also that are on itunes and that is what half rumbled debut on and our should fear has its part cast over their sam tripoli has progress over there and brian runs the whole thing it's a bunch of different funny people thomson girl and his wife christine have upon gas on their side it's cool thing it's it's a nice network of you can is being sure that you're gonna have something interesting call to look at it and we're going half run on what's the name of the half
podcast quickly quickly over thinking first idea overly going i like all over thinking over thinking with whom we gotta that's over thinking which i have found will debut very soon thank you love your bitches gas on applying the same family coming soon nonetheless liberians thanking the press that you dirty business your fifty percent often go to jail rugged that net entering the code day broken and fifteen percent off the number one such torn from an alternate together all the ones the best the boy brian likes the doubly little nook and experienced lad your boy thank you very much for everything i love you guys look and experience the joke milk and eggs
hence the job milk and experienced the juvenile can experience the juvenile can experience
Transcript generated on 2020-03-22.