« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #169 - Brian Redban, Doug Benson, Bert Kreischer, Ari Shaffir, Jason Gillearn

2011-12-24 | 🔗
Brian Redban, Doug Benson, Bert Kreischer, Ari Shaffir, Jason Gillearn
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Boom got damn? Finally, Jesus fucking Christ. I know I'm thinking what you're thinking folks at home. This show never starts on time supposed to start at seven at seven hundred and fifty five. But you know what that's life. That's life in the stone Lane. That's also life in California, where you can't get anywhere when anything is going on so then at holiday. Shopping on that. What I'm saying as soon as you realize that there's you know when you the holiday traffic. That's when you find out how many people really are in LA is going to be that in disaster. So the only times where you really going to get a true sense of how many fucking people are here because, most of that you see an ant colony. You don't know how many fucking answer inside of it did the the amount of ants outside and call me, then eat shit. You barely even get a good grip of it until you really stomp on that mother Fucker and they all scatter, and then you Holy shit look at all the ants, and these are people that usually
Don't drive either like the old people. They have to go to the stores for the first time of the year. You know yeah. Well, that's not good and that's why we're late anyway were brought to you by the flashlight. I'm sure you know this by now, but I have to say it anyway. What do I have to say it? Well, because it's our sponsor and we have a business arrangement with them and because it works 'cause, listen! You gotta, get down to brass tacks here, bitches. I don't know what that means. You know sounds good. Do you know flashlight has on their website, like user submitted videos of people using Flash Lego, like my girlfriends, not addicted to watching that now, because it's creepy it's like creepy freak, that's creepy people like I'll, actually use my flashlight like this. I like took it in my pillow and then I can fuck it like this, and then he pulls down his pants and fucks it. It's crazy!
and he doesn't give a shit just throws it out in the internet. Yeah show his face, or do you blur space? There was something there is a lot of people with their faces and that they didn't give a shit sitting on beanbag chairs, fucking fleshlights. It's crazy people are freaks. There are freaks out there, man, if you could think of it, there's a whole god. Damn website dedicated to it. The whole message board is devoted to it. Fucking flashlights for other people to watch jerking off to those 'cause. You know someone someone, that's what they're looking for. They don't go. Looking for. You know some blowjob videos free gym teachers anal. No, they, the other into, is watching someone fuck fake vaginas, watching someone who's just dance. It can't get any real human contact. You know she just just as this inanimate object that you buy in the sense of sadness ultimate sadness when you shoot your load, it's just it's really difficult to describe but feels better beating off and you're going to do that anyway. So why play games? And if you do
you go to my website and click on the link for the flashlight entering the code. Name Rogan. You will get fifteen percent off a solid product, please in german and excellent tool for masturbation. We're also brought to you by on it dot, com and- and I t makers of alpha brain the balanced neutral pick with, which is a cognitive and answer yeah, I take it. That's why I'm so smart! We also make shroom tech support, which is a quarter steps, mushrooms and B. Twelve supplement, that's awesome for, if you're like really into working out and there's a home Brian left his fucking shit on. If you had your alpha brain today, you would have made such a horrendous mistake to take
whatever whatever anyway, as we say, always with anything from on it. If you don't like it, you get one hundred percent money back guarantee. Just fucking tell us it sucks and you get your money back were being as honest as possible. These are all things that I benefit from Brian benefits from Aubrey. Our partner benefits from we wouldn't be doing this. If we didn't think there was something really excellent about these different sub it's an agree. We say if you think they're too expensive, go by your shit in bulk and steal our ingredient list and Steelers happy and do it on your own, and I hope you do in enjoy it. I don't care if I don't want you to buy it. If you don't want to buy, but if you do want to buy it, you can go out on a dot com. O n and I t enter the code name Rogan and you will get ten percent Alright, it's our second anniversary show, ladies and gentlemen, hit Brian. You gotta mute your mic and then I will,
Joe Rogan experience join my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. We're sitting here drinking. I think it's cognac is that what it is? I don't know what it is right. It's the Armenians, the Armenia. There's some bad mother fuckers the army since you train with Rhonda Rowsey, they brought over some delay, This is cognac, and it's perfect, for our second anniversary show, Gamburyan shout out to my man, Manny and and go car and all those people over there and, of course, kind of freezing Armenians, some fun people. That's all the cool things about ethnicities. You know that you you you you get to meet. You know some people just like as a group the different than your normal white people. You know, Armenians are way more fun than you normal white people. I got my haircut today by one I think. If we talked about how scary that is, this shit is like flashing in my face and breaking me out, can we not
this is like the worst way you could ever hold a conversation. Okay, I can't say Greg right now: I'm looking at PAC lands them out of all these like he burned it in my fuckin retina, that's funny you playing behind me man, actress! ten over Tetris, it's it's. Actually. I have a great idea So there's all these lasers in this room now imagine also projecting at the old school 80s asteroids mixed into it. That would be very cool, not tetris. I didn't mean Tetris, though you know what I meant Simon says, remember the game where there was like so stupid,
like one color and then another color and you had to keep up with the color. Do do do do do do do. Do you gotta, remember it and then relay exactly how it did the beats like that's how desperate we wear for games back then it gives a fuck. If you get that right, you know it's frustrating for me. I don't like it did. You think they ever had like competitions. I'm sure that was it called again. Simon, says Simon says: do you think they had Simon says competitions, I'm sure they have 'cause. They have like Rubik's cube. Competitions so seems like that. The winner would be interesting, because there's only really so many you've talked about it before how many birds are names. You can keep in your head. That's the same way as Simon says: that's how many things you can remember in a row right or you know short term memory and that there there has to be a cut off, and I don't think that's how many names you can remember. I think they say how many semi intimate relationships you have they keep not not. Not even you know just have knowledge of someone
have them in your head. There's there's people that I like completely forgot about, and then someone will bring it back and it's like someone dusts off the file and hands it to me, and then I can stay going through. Oh yeah, oh my god, oh yeah, and you know, and then all the sudden. These memories are now available again, but, like my brain was ready to get rid of them. You know my brain was right over. We don't need that there remember so much you don't remember so many people, you don't remember so many names, some of the things you've done. A certain point I was like. Why are you even accessing this memory? And now you got to be concentrating on your own life right now, stupid stop living the path sounds like a little won't. Let you have access to it. Just you know just to keep your fucking moving forward. If you don't sit around like a dumb monkey thinking about every moment that ever happened ever in your
and make second guesses left and right. You know if you, if you were, if you had access to every memory that you ever had how many people would just obsessed every fucking single mistake, they've ever made and why they made it, and you know, just go over the whole list of every fucking step will be really hard to ignore like the way to move on and ignore it is just kind of forget about it. It's like the best way like if you had a troubled past. If you know when you were like a drunk in a fucking loser- and you know you hit your girlfriend and you've reformed yourself from that, make it. Wouldn't it be awesome if those memories just dissolved when you were actually reformed once you've actually become, formed once you've actually paid your debt would be great if you didn't have to think about that anymore. You learn your lesson and you just like you could delete it for like I wanted. Get that from my hard drive. That's going to make. That definitely seems like that's going to be in the future.
Hacking, your brain people would say you know I wanted to to remember I to to remember: no, don't him delete it, and then people would have like legal battles to see if a guy you who did uh some hornet horrendous crime, that is ultimately incredibly sorry for could could he leave his memory of that crime right, I would probably have that's so weird. That would really be a sorry for that, but it would be a real weird contest where we come down to punishment or reform like what we really interested in a really really interested in fixing people or we really interested and and some retribution what it. What is it when someone does a crime in now yeah the door that they would have to have rules for it? Like you can't you can't abuse it like You can only delete like if you were molested or if you yeah. Maybe if some shit was holding you back right, but then it would be like a battle for consciousness. Why can't you just delete it anyway? You want, I mean you could delete it now. You just want to sniff pain, all you didn't mean that's what a lot of people are doing their. You know right there, self medicating. When you get around,
down to certain things. There's certain things like seven paint you like. Okay, I really don't like to you. When you see those pictures is one is a brilliant one, internet of a guy with a with a believe. It's silver silver gold paint all over, so face all over his face, the growing cops they have it all the time, people with silver on their face, who, my god? What is that guy running from that guys running from something deep? You know I don't know if it's is your thing is running right and jobs. Teeth health well being is running from all those things. Yeah, sprinting away, you be there's a it's weird man. It's like they're almost has to be a full spectrum of people. It seems like, if you just let things go all over the place. If you just let it if it's not engineered, it seems like human life can hit the whole spectrum from monster to sing from a from angel to tailor it to.
Slut to perfect person to you know I mean you, could every fucking step along the way as possible and you can meet it just it has to get mashed up into one crazy, chaotic soup, that is
human existence. Yeah, you know it all. It almost seems like in order to have. We all want everything to be perfect everything to be beautiful, but it's almost like. In order to have these beautiful moments, you have to have something contrast. You have to have something that opposes it. You have to have something that motivates it. You have to have something. That's it's moving against. It seems almost like some sort of a a grand pattern for improvement. You know if you look at the human race as like something other than you know what we are. You looked at it as other than your friends and your neighbors and loved ones. Just look at it as, like an organism like how it's working yeah, you know it's all. It's almost like all these things have to be in place. You almost have to have the full spectrum of human behavior ups and geniuses and humbling people an incredible talents and child prodigies lazy. You almost have to all have them all together. It's like they all play a piece in this crazy puzzle. It's just to us, that's in it that, like all this fat
by the way that fat fuck like is a part of the spectrum like he's in there for a reason, you know everybody is we're at target the other day and this super obese old fat lady I'm talking like seven thousand and seventy five, but like yeah. So it's like a unicorn and but He's like she walked into target and she couldn't walk anymore, so she leaned on the security thing like those things you walk through when you know you know a walk out Rescue Lena and is about to crack open like over and of running, because I hate you need help Ma'Am short now. I need this place to send me a wheelchair, though, and so this is it okay this. So she told like this late in the k, I think this woman needs a wheelchair and the woman's I got were out of wheelchairs right now, because there's you know, we only have twelve or something like that, and so she just started
lean more and more on that security thing and it just broke, and now it's just like hanging to the side but you're, just like looking like these poor people at target, you know they're, like it's not their fault. This woman is so a beast and old and breaking their ship, but they can't get mad at her like if I went over there and just knock that thing over the back. Are you is four hundred dollars for a new security system? You know what that's an unfortunate situation, just all around yeah. You know when you, when you get someone to get that out of hand, I don't like it. Okay, how old they are! That's like wow, who you know, yeah, that's a that's a cry for help. This is
some, I think she's already been crying, and this lets horrendous lack of self. I don't know if the user, awareness of discipline or certainly control control of your your biology, your biology, is completely out of whack. You know, that's probably one of the worst things that can happen to a person to just not be able to control the biology anymore yeah. I know that that's devastating to get caught up in some crazy thing. We want to eat all the time. She now knew it. What is it? It's a kick man, it's a mental kink. It's like any other one man! It's like it's like the ones that make people addicted to looking at on.
Rage, girls and shit like that, like what the fuck is, that man, how does that? How is that broken shit still around like? How is that genetically? Even in the code, you know how are those it's like you know when you have dogs, one of the things about dog breeders is, if you go to a good breed. Who really cares about dogs? You can get a brilliant dog, because these dogs are bred to not be aggressive to people. The smart ones are the ones they want to breed in any dogs aggressive to other dogs. They don't let them breathe. No, no crazy dogs and everybody was cool and calm, and- and because of that, like I have one one of my dogs, Johnny is the greatest talk he's so nice he's a sweetheart he's smart he's, not stupid, he's always just likes to be around people and be friendly, just a great dog and ice. I swear it's because this guy was conscientious and he thought about it. Yeah. We can't do that with people that we can treat people like dogs. Unfortunately we should don't Hitler talk man, we should be able to know. So that's Hitler talk. You can't have too much control over the way. If you
got to ride it, you got to influence as much as possible in a positive sense, but he can't he can't ultimately control shit like that, because those people are here. You know they're. Here you got to be nice to I'm going to try to steer in the right direction possible if you can, but there can't keep him from Falcon were already turning into breeding anyways this country, this this new soap is not use it so push it. I don't even know it that well, but It's understand line. What is it called? What, I get arm online. Piracy act yeah, it's it's it's a way, for you know the like. They can pretty much start censoring websites so like if you have a copy written video on our website and stuff like that, it's pretty much giving permission for like a third party, I believe, just to be able to shut it down. So what is going to turn into I believe is like you know how you tube is like the biggest Nazis when it comes to
if you have a song on there, they'll just you know, delete your video or, if you can have the word USC and a title. They'll just delete the video. You know a lot of scary sequences. That's what I'm starting! That's what it's going to allow that at the government. I believe they'll do it. You can. Just all stuff off your website and and then it's like well, how? Where does it stop like what if I have an avatar of Harry Potter, you know what I mean like on a message board. Somebody uses: can they say? Hey? That's copy written image you know, this is almost all because of the Hollywood yeah? This is all because I'm moving
This is the what justification for Sopa and the protect ip and it's as two words rogue sites, that's Hollywood's term, for websites that happen to be located in a nation, more hospitable to copy right infringement in the United States. In fact, the US is probably the least hospitable jurisdiction in the world for such an endeavor, because the target is off shore a lawsuit against the owners in the. U S, court would be futile. So that's what they're doing so, that's what what it is is you you. We have a problem with sites that can start just showing movies and- and if I stop just that movies are does it shows, and what I mean is this of what they're so, and there is something to that. That makes sense that you shouldn't be able to steal people shit. I agree with that, but do you also agree that, like what The like this don't agree. I certainly don't agree with anybody getting any more control than they already have this.
Things like to state that right away. I don't think they should. I don't think it's a slippery slope and he started the internet is free in the internet supposed to be free and why it's so beautiful and why so much just come out of it and why it's so hospitable to uh this generation to the people that grew up with it, to the people that recognize that it changed the whole fucking world man? It's star reality changed our perceptions are connections the internet, being free is what made this whole thing happened. The way it's happening right now and under send Billy the powers that be are not happy about that, so if they can give in. The whims of Hollywood or whatever in order to you know, protect themselves On the other hand, though, I think that people should be fucking prosecuted too, I feel like there should be some sort of a law without some sort of a sweeping justification like this. There should Sir may be a way to keep someone from stealing someone's material movie or if it's a pay per view, fight, whether it's UFC,
boxing or W w e event. I think there should be laws. There should be laws to keep people from streaming that there should be a way they can stop that, because that is, theft. Yeah, there's a there's, a difference between that and the freedom of do this just to be able to distribute information, especially information like Little Youtube clips, or something like that, like you might link in a blog like little. What if you link something in a blog I say if you had a Youtube clip with a great scene in the movie, the shining and you use this great scene and as a point in your log, you like in the sort of like this scene, the shining? This is what I felt like at that moment. Well, if you have that in your blog, what if it's just you know, embedded from you too, you too does it stay. Is that still Count taken a fucking pull you. I bet they can yeah. That's why I'm saying this this law? It seems like it's almost like a seat belt law like this is just letting them get the power to do whatever the fuck they want to meaning like it might,
you might think of it like know, they're only going to go after you have your like streaming good, fellows too yeah. I can't give them that door because right can alter the from then we'll, then exactly any other crime, and the good thing is that it could be. You know a car, you know exacted spirit, see to commit crime more being involved in the medical marijuana, which is federal, federally legal thing, your real slippery you know, and it really depends on who spread in the right money in the right direction. This crazy, corrupt, fucking wack a doo's. Then we got going on here. Did you hear about it? We're talking JAG Banana republic. That's a we are bro, we just we are to sell on our the highest bidder over and over and over again- and I guess the highest bidder right now is Hollywood yeah? Did you hear about go daddy? What happened to them? What are they doing this? Is you know what ma'am this is so amazing that that nowadays, like Anonymous, I feel safer that that anonymous is it exists than our own government right now,
because this is a perfect example of how awesome moral conscience it's more in tune with mine yeah. Absolutely yours, absolutely so happen is, is a go daddy's put on their website yesterday that they support Sopa this this new law? That's going to do all this crap and- and I guess it's like a hundred fifty big corporations. I do mostly probably Hollywood and stuff like that anyways, so everybody they started like people on the internet, see it through anonymous and three websites and community. They started transferring their domains and and and registers out of go daddy to like other different companies because of this, and they got such as each hit that two days a go. Daddy said, you know what we change our mind where we we, we we we're whatever the internet once and holy, and they just needed the old thread. They deleted the whole thing off their website. They did the new one and shipped yeah. That's amazing! That's a good
edible yeah. So if you have someone there in a book so fast, I mean here's, a really disturbing sorry erupted with here's. A really disturbing comment from Verizon said: Verizon continues to look at so far and while it's fair to say that we have concerned about the concerns about the legislation, we are working with the congressional staff to address those concerns. The representative told us don't like the way that sounds right is one of the biggest supporters of this and that sort of been noted. That's what we've talked about this before, where I I I said you know that's one of the reasons that I jump ship our offer for eyes and because eighteen t doesn't because TIM a call in eighteen t executive. Vice president, on our side, we have been supportive of the general framework of the Senate bill when it comes to soap. All into you all eighteen TI would say is that it is working constructively with Chairman Smith and others towards a similar and in the house. So so well, it sounds like they're supporting it yeah, but also don't you remember, Google and Google and Verizon. Remember teamed up
thanks, listen! I think they have to. I think. If I owned a big corporation, I would definitely feel differently. If I own the UFC, I would feel differently. I'm like I want to be real clear. I think you know when you fucking, steal someone stream off a paper view and somehow another that shit out the internet, man, that's your your fucking people out of money and that's not fair you're, not supposed to be doing that. That's that's clearly doing something that shitty you you're stealing, but but there's a big difference between that. Like yeah You should stop that, but you know you shouldn't. Do you shouldn't give? Anyone the ability to just start shutting down websites you shouldn't give any and the ability to decide what they think is offensive or they think is dangerous to the country, whatever the fuck. That means you know. That's all they need to see. I need to see something along those lines on top of the online piracy, and it's just once the doors open man once you let the vampire in the house. Didn't you see fright night, no good, it's pretty good! The new one is pretty fucking good with the handsome irish bloke,
his name, I don't know, I don't even know what the fuck is, that the fox is name. The guy had a sex tape. Awhile back with really hot black girl was in Playboy, Colin and Mick Ferrell is everything. Oh yeah he's the vampire badass vampire it's a good movie. They didn't, get any credit. It's a fun movie. I mean it's not trying to be Citizen Kane, it's a, but it's a fun vampire movie Shin. I like to say I enjoyed that's because it's the second anniversary I did with that. It's it's a crazy. It's been two years yeah, I'm the well. It's definitely changed with us. Now, good luck and studio here, yeah a real place. Yeah cameras. All up in this bitch got. Fucking lasers got our NASA shirts. Back though these lasers could be frying. My eyeballs from how do you even know the safe yeah there safely there If I lose my I swear to God. I'm gonna fucking hit is going to slowly help your vision, Yeah, it's going to shave off a little one by one
there's a new app. You have to download it's free. I I been going. I don't even watch my twitter lately. Now, but it is the most amazing thing, the guys that do bad robot that did lost a they have a new app and it's called it's free action movie and what they did is they got together with Sky Walker, sound in a couple of like like real video, the movie people, and they have these things. Were you just record something and act like I've been doing it with my cats and dogs and then, like you, got your dog sit there and silly? A helicopter will come in like realistically and then crash on your dog blowing your dog up and then like, like movie shit, it's I'll show you I'll show you one here. I'll show you right now, that's incredible: it's called action movie, it's free, it's called action move movie and why did they I just did this for fun, because there's some advertising advertising it, you know,
you can buy extra scenes like no. I want missiles. Well, you would think if someone could come up with something like angry birds mean I don't play angry birds 'cause. I have a real fear of anything. That's addictive and all I hear about that thing. Thing's, angry birds, so addictive angry birds, so addictive. But I mean what, if you can come up with something brilliant like that, that's really the way to make money come up with your own and then get it get advertising on it and then advertisement, you know get it. You know x amount of dollars for whatever downloads yet and that's like a legitimate way of putting out now right yeah. It's always look at Louis C K, Louis C k what made about that. He already made one zero dollars so, first of all so inspirational. I in that not just that. It's other that he said he afterward to give a bunch of it away. Man He gave like Johnny keeping a quarter of it so far, but what he said he wanted money still coming in yeah. What yet, but we forgot to do, is like to to to take out tax because that's probably going to be like what forty percent of that million will know, because I'm not if he doesn't take it as payment. You know, if
if he gives it away in charity, it actually doesn't have to pay as much. But what I love is his attitude about. It was a really Fascinating attitude in this is a real attitude. This is in a guy like pretending to be like super thoughtful. You know he said something like really selfless season that he said. I never thought of. It is my money. I just thought of it as the money right like a resource and you got it. You got it put it right back into work yeah and I I I remember. I read that I was like wow what a brilliant statement and what a a great representation of who he is. You know he's such an interesting guy, an interesting thinker. You know, I mean he. He really puts his money where his mouth is. That's a stupid statement, but you know I have to say I mean you know I mean I mean, that's really what he did. I mean that's a beautiful thing. We really is that weird dude, you know he's white and one of my favorites of all time. Right now. I can't wait to get on a podcast some day. He's a l. I I'll have to ask him he's. I I always avoid asking, because I know how busy is- and I know he's I mean he does his own showed.
Dude. He fucking edits it. He films at any edits, and I would love to sit down and talk to him with the process, but he's so crazy that he won't even do it on like a big MAC is like a thirteen inch laptop well. That might be over thirty two so that's what he said probably has a fuck. I'm sure he has it, but that's not the point I think you get. You can always afford yeah. He was always making plenty of money before that mean. Louise been a you know, a a big name national headliner for years like it was never like. He had an issue affording a good laptop. You know he just wants to do it on his laptop for some crazy recheck. This. I did this on my phone. What's this what's a two year, there is this: is the action movie thing? Oh shit, I just killed my cat fucking queen yet, and I did a whole bunch of like stitcher You know separated. We shouldn't tell people about this. Isn't people take videos of their ex girlfriends and then do that and put that shit online?
so true. So much funny check this one out. I don't even listen to me. Fuck check this one. That's disturbing! Now it's so fake watch, thanks guys, everyone check out Stitcher is that cool yeah, it's like kind of the same joke Dover it over again here's something we're going to blow it up here, something we're going to blow it up. So you think people are going to like put user ex girlfriends and ex boyfriends for sure blow the fuck out of him, making a video of them getting missiles, not in their head. Why? Wouldn't you like this, this is a lot of people that want to do that. So we have bullshit. She Bullshit, that's stupid! Why did you play that up there, you Brian? How dare you on our second anniversary? So let's get back, it's crazy! So poor thing you know, have you looked into it 'cause? I have not an you know. Everything I'm saying is just
I don't know the the words of the legislation. I don't know how it's written, but what I do know is it's very dangerous. They'll give people or give the government the option to go into your shit and shut things down just to have that door open. In my opinion, did this that shouldn't be the case. It should be. You know, aggressive prosecution of people violate the current laws. You know I'm I'm for that, but I'm not for is anybody having the ability to shut your shit off or so sure should imagine your website, like you, put a video of fear factor on there like on the on the front page and they're like oh, the copyright band. Your website is gone. Sorry you can have another white hands yanked off of you too. That was my own work. Yeah. My own work, you know my own clips from my one of my specials I put up and it got yanked down for copyright infringement and that's why I really felt like a little who,
and I was like wow look at this- I don't even own my own jokes anymore. I can't even take a clip and say hey. You know this is from my last cd here it is. I can't I can't let you watch that clip it's not up to me anymore. They pull it down like they knew. Is my fucking Youtube page? I think unless they just have a point, that's a said what we, what if they start doing that? What if you know that's the first time if they ever saw censoring the internet internet. That's that pretty much makes it North Korea. You know there they're pretty much controlling us like that I think we get more electricity and you can eat well, I mean that's the first step of being like country, but everything seems to be moving in that direction. Well, the real issue with this country is that people are really worried right now, and you know the Kanami in a lot of parts is, is based on some crazy shit that nobody understands and when it all starts fucking falling apart. People get nutty an if it continues to
all part and then gets to some really chaotic state where the resources and the the money in the No, it all doesn't match up right anymore. In the whole thing needs to be re evaluated and it causes a massive massive state of turmoil. People are going to want to be able to control people, and that's what's going on right now, as this shit, when everything was great, you know in the 90s with Clinton was in office and the economy was booming. You know you never worried about the military on your streets, you that even come into your head, maybe like watt, who the fuck is going to have tank now, no, no, no people or generally good in this country. You know before that Timothy Mcveigh thing happen. Everybody was like wow an american terrorist killing Americans really. No. This is generally a pretty prosperous nation,
Things are generally going well for us, but I think in this day and age, man in this day and age, the more people lose faith in the honesty of their representatives, that more people lose faith in the the way the system is set up. The more it's likely there's going to be some sort of unrest and the fact that that's coinciding with all these new laws, an new bills that are being passed that are completely unconstitutional that are completely against what this whole country is supposed to be started from. It's such a mad dash for power and so obvious. Ones in charge are willing to really pervert the constitution to bend to their current will, because there worried about losing power because it seems like people are just like. Bring up in the streets. One hundred with thousands at a time and when that doesn't get resolved, it just end somehow how's it going to end how's it going and they're going to keep piling on to the streets and what we've got to figure out a way to bring tanks into the equation. We gotta
figure out a way to bring helicopters and tear gas and fucking a sound machines that make it impossible for you to breathe, while yeah we're going to do some crazy shit. That really should be terrorist shit, and this is how every country that's losing power ultimately gets. Nobody ever just gives up, our nobody ever goes all right. You guys are listening, you're, making some really good points. I've been a really shitty representative, and I know I got did for forty different house House ethics violations, and I want to be the thing come on come on guys. I know I fucked up. No, those those conversations never take plans. 'cause, everybody who wants to run things is absolutely confident. They should be the one running it and everybody that's running. It is absolutely confident that they should be the one who continues to run it and they don't want to give up that fucking thrown they don't want give it up and they're willing to pervert the very foundation of what this country is supposed to be all about. Liberty and justice for all
and Benjamin Franklin said it best. He who would give up liberty for security deserves neither and that's where we're at we're at a terrible, terrible point where the the system is inadequate for the information available. People are too smart. Now the world is aware you can have your crazy lobbyist special interest groups set up, it's nonsense, it's crazy z and it seems, like some people are bribing you to do some shit. The rest of us don't want to do. Well, guess what now? Because we have- this thing called the internet, the rest of us get. Let you know exactly how you feel we get. We get to say exactly how we feel first time in human history, and we don't like this that's why there's hundreds of thousands of people in the streets it doesn't have. To be, for one specific reason that you can nail down in an intellectual debate with you know some fucking guy on C span. It doesn't have to be that it is an obvious sentiment that is the
the nature of the being is revolting. It's like something fighting cancer. Those people are like white blood cells. They don't know what the fuck they're doing, but You know they're supposed to gather where this part is sick aim that's. What's going on man so loose, here's the arms, how bad run a rousing? No check my phone love. I know you did I saw I saw you fade. It was so you fade into loves Ville. Well, you at its booth, weird being around a girl like that you're, very I I thought brought ten I'd go with you up. I know I got intimidated. I like I didn't want. You might be able to tap maim and I'm scared all right. I went on a roller right. I would hate hate if Ronda Rousey Tommy most girls. I meet, though, like that that come to a podcast or if I meet in person like even if I don't know him well like hung out with him for like five or ten minutes I'll, be like alright good, seeing him give him a hug like. I don't know why I automatically go for a hug when you know we all do it so friendly with her. I was like well here,
when I get out of my hands- and you know what you guys, you can have have a hug come on. You know I want to give those double underhooks. Assisting school and wanted to and Harry gauchier ass? That was cool the different terms. I knew Uchi Mata an har ago. She and I often use them wrong, you know and she seemed like she was just like a cool search check on us, you know, you know what he is man she's like a winner. You know and winners come in all sorts of weird different forms, but their they always have one thing they have in common they're, always exceptional in its in some way. Shape or form she's got an exceptional brain. You know, like you, know, to some girls, only twenty four years old man. You know she could totally hang in any sort of conversation yeah. She says like a lot. So what so? Do you know what people say like a lot? Sometimes you know it's it's a version of you know. I understand, and people got upset about that like selected, really weird but yeah. What did she say that what was
and she was saying set some pretty cool, fucking interesting shit, you know, could imagine growing up a pretty girl doing judo traveling around the world with your bad ass, judo mom, who was a fuck you know? Who was going to college while she was raising you and competing on the olympic Judo team and fucking people up the first person ever were to win the gold medal from the United States for Judo. It would be like dating a superhero, the closest you can get to dating a superhero. It's terrifying. Yeah yeah. That would be a total role reversal from damage girls. Could you do you think you could go from a girl who's sort of shy, demure girl to a girl that could just hip tossed dudes on there. I don't think you can handle that. I don't know because they they probably have their own kind of reason. Why that they, you know it's like a stripper or like. I can meet comic. You know they all have. The reason did to why they want to be an kicker. You know or why the right, I think she she most certainly was influenced by mother. Mother mother was a super badass, but where is it.
Who is it Doug, Benson, Benson and ARI Shaffir welcome? Adam and we're in the middle of the sea. Second anniversary podcast This is mass. I work for NASA. Not really don't sue me have a seat boys, this, our second anniversary podcasts that two years ago? What a body? How I my brother, I don't know this is the full podcast network of friends. Here, folks, everybody's got a podcast. If you don't know, Doug Benson as Doug loves movies, a awesome part cast that I was on many years before I ever even started my podcast and bugs the shit. As always, and of course Arisha fear has a podcast to Arisha. Fears is the skeptic tank and you can get all that shit on Itunes for freezies except
sometimes Doug Benson, gets crazy, greedy and wants like a dollar dollar and dudes wanna rape, your mother, for that there would be two dollars. I want your two dollar two dollars. Is that yes for dollar? Ninety nine? Do you feel bad now that you found out the Louis CK sold this whole special for five dollars? Thank God there are a lot of money and then it's really and the so smart with the the whole and I'm giving this much of it back to charity. Like everybody just loves him he's off to that's a lot of money, but he couldn't be cooler, human being yeah. That's also a touch a windfall that he wasn't necessarily expecting. I mean the man already has a tv show and sold out concert tours a million bucks in my hand down it's just like an extra little love. How he's been so open about all the numbers? I don't tell people sure yeah he's being crazy, open with the numbers. It's just that's his whole thing is just how honestly is in every aspect of his. You know his his everything. No he's Awesome these he's an inspirational guy. I'm really glad he's around seven hundred thousand put that in ten days, yeah just ten
is it by the way that fucking thing is going to sell for years. That could be something he could like live in some castle in the fucking. It's going to sell them in central HBO at the end of it too. I'm sure you think so. Yeah pull out everybody else, maybe yeah for the n as long as it's still available by HBO Special or you might not know, and just keep it on that website for ever and that's the only place to get it from ever. It's him. Well, you know my my tv is now linked up to the internet. Is the first tv that I've ever had it's linked up to the let off I love it. I got out a little. I t apple tv, you know what it is. I only watch Hulu now and Netflix yeah and I'm like I'm about to cancel cable at Hulu can get local channels. Then I'm done. I I don't need anymore. Cable tv for the locals will have network shows they have no, works. Is they don't have a mall, but guess what just like Netflix wow, I I'll take whatever I can get. No, no! like it's more fix has something. Now I don't give a shit about it's a more I'm doing it legally. Now, like I'm like looking at Netflix and going all right, this documentary actually seems interesting. All watching you know, but before it was just I
only watch family guy doesn't rule right, doesn't really only have like last four episodes of certain shows they have full seasons of shows to die in law no one was hurt by, but it's a glass going there and they're like now. We got like three episodes of season. Did you go to Itunes? No did you got an f apple after that apple tv apple, Download at all. I got along time anything it's only like one hundred dollars whatever it is. It's the shit it's one of the best little inventions, so there's so many documentaries on it too. Like amazing, entries, even gens, pulvers driven, was on that a really look kind of obscure documentary, a real low budget documentary, former UFC Lightweight Champion gents Pulver bad? Well, that's what Netflix,
no yeah apple tv! I've done! It's amazing Doug. I've watched a super high me probably six times that flex, because I I just that's an easy. Like background movie like if I'm smoking, we had a couple of it. No, no seriously. How many of you us a dog but but do you get paid to manage to get paid every time you somebody watches it on Netflix or d? Is it? Do you even know know know that the accounting on that movies become extremely fuzzy and there's tons of litigation. That was we. Would Louis CK was frustrated by Louis CK said that he never saw any sort of rewards check. What's the word not rewards This visuals never saw any residuals number, so any any any payments from where and you know they are continuing to his CD dvd's they're. Creating all these revenue streams for this product and then they just do fancy numbers. They just do some tricky math where they just explain to you. We didn't you know we spend only yeah but you'll get a percentage of the profits and it's just a part. It's this is ridiculous.
Senate gym in the case of super high me, it got so old. One distributor sold it to another. So then, now there's a like. Well, then who's supposed to pay us. You know like how are we supposed to get money from every every time somebody watch it or whatever, and the G4 network plays the shit out of it yeah they play it constantly and yeah see any money. For that. I I really love you green exposure really set the price to five fucking charge. More than that, you can't charge my message about the people that we should all do that charge twenty dollars for totally makes money. I'm like nope, he's charging five. No way you move a few. You move some! You know like that's that's kind of like like my two dollars. Podcasts like they sell, but it's not like I'm not making millions who goes down. Doug Benson free Internet enjoy freedom whatever you want to do it. So my fear thinking about selling his pocket so much preseason early, but no advert, know advertisers who's. Your sponsor, like everybody,
adult companies Adam and Eve DOT, com, that's cool! So when do they start sponsoring you last week power here you have to do your own account, then you're going to jail. What did not pay? this is going to go right to the photo yeah, I usually pay him see you could usually smart. I could see ARI should fear like how we go fuck. It stack of bills like sitting in the corner they supposed to let go through. I definitely that I paid late fees, but then taxes optional right. It's like some years. You don't get around to it. It's cool, powerful, anniversary, podcast yeah, this Look up Joe, never stops Podcasting Joe and Brian have podcasting's happy. We just every shit all dates aside Doug at the improv last night. That's what you said like it seems like such a waste not filled with something to do something yeah. No, that was you know, ok time last night over there, but we didn't get the podcasts. We just around the hall talking to each other
in between recording it. Yet not recording it like why. Why bother to have a conversation, if it's not being passed? Well, I'm glad you guys are all here during their second anniversary podcast, as you guys are. You know, amongst my favorite podcast. Yes, ever give a second anniversary song run. Yes, pray The! But two years ago tomorrow, we started this star bargain with a laptop snowflakes. Now we got lasers. Bitch two Yeah is this part live streaming? Is this live streaming yeah, but this is Joe Rogan Podcast and then we're going to do the ice house later yeah. It's crazy, I I saw Joe tweeted at like eight o'clock. Podcast is starting- and I was like I Brian told me, nine o'clock. It's fine. We expected everybody was a holiday traffic. We just figured that you know once we get talking, everybody just join in and just what
is a lot easier getting here tonight in the night, when the the day when that guy went nuts on vinyl, I heard that was the worst traffic in the road is not scary, that he just and earthquake can cause that times. A million yeah. You know you're gonna be so stop where you're at completely right is water. When I came here have water now seems like you guys, okay, to do way more than one gunman. I have one in your car and I don't live what you knew those water dispensers right, yeah, it's like seven bucks, a bottle for four erro head water to deliver it to your house. That's what I now get back to acts just in case I always have two extra. You can't leave the water side, though no, but you just put him in a room. You know you're not going on. They say that actually gives you some sort of a weird poisonous form of estrogen, while some free, when you have bottles like plastic bottles and they have water in them, and they're sitting out in the sun
okay, harness your art. Yeah apparently, is some weird leakage. It gives you some like creepy and hormonal thing. It's like a tight like a form of estrogen yeah totally, but yeah yeah. I cry at movies. Whenever I drink warm water, everything that gives you your period. Ryan was flocking to all. I know flies toward soy beans and water at a mom, and I love and frying the set up once you have the gun. What do you care about whether or not you have water? You just go, get some water from somebody. Would you have a gun in competitive? I only does either bisexual can't do that. Ma'am email wrote all you ruin the whole brother ship of man, things to get some water. It should be. Everybody goes into cooperation mode. So why do we need got all that? Because a lot of out man, I saw the movie I John Cusack, where they get a mall in pods, and then they take off go out when the end of the world come on people. I just saw this whole fucking, one thousand and twelve. Two thousand yes, yes, Ma'Am
That's how it is a leave in pods they're. Well, they they made like these giant like Noah's Ark type. Metal shops, Mister Bobby billion euros to get all. I didn't see that when I was done with that guy's movies, when he took the day after tomorrow, they give a little subplot of the girls. Has a problem pissing her pants at the very beginning, right little girl. The last line in the movie is daddy. Look, no more pull. Ups in the movie ends Are you fucking kidding me, but I mean that plus the set no, she doesn't piss her pants anymore, wow and Anberlin. The word Chrysler doesn't never knew sorry. I was just Hey Bert Kreischer doesn't Samantha. Never heard the word spoiler damn bro cry. She talked to last the movie. Now everybody looking for it here
do about that. Movie, though, that movie you haven't seen it by now. It's not really a movie. Tell me Kaiser so say it's not a movie. What it is is exercise in technology It's an exercise, look with the crazy shit we can do. This is almost happening, at a certain point in time it becomes like one of those rides. You take it universal that are kind of, like you know, they're great, for, like fifteen minutes 'cause, it's going well, ok, count look at the top of this. Although he doesn't, you know, yeah crazy how realistic it looks. Well, it's fucking play team is flying. Is chunks of shit falling right next to it, it manages the runways falling underneath it as it takes off. Well, yeah. Everything is always there just two steps ahead and certainly done so that they went way past preposterous to the fucking ridiculous zone. The point where it was just your name. Making a movie still got chased by preposterous auras. You know what they are. They are there like a stripper that has tits that are this big. It doesn't know why nobody thinks she's hot. She's got into this big, two thousand and twelve that same
that not the fucking special effects were so stupid and unnecessary and took away in the actual movie took away from any connection you have to what's going on like a girl who has unbelievable giant tits, and she doesn't understand that that's gross you're, a freak, if I know they're, not real and second of all, why the fuck are that big? What kind of crazy neurosis you have going on in your head? She doesn't get it! It's like that. Mom from from the MTV show made and like I just want my mom to be normal. That's the whole thing and the mums it's my while gigantic tickets are like song. You know it is like really little preposterous that you believe in breast reduction, yeah yeah man. If you're, I dated a girl who had
that that really yeah yeah she she had these scars around her nipple underneath it and what happened was she was just born with giant tits and it should there always hurting a back, they would hurt her neck and it you know, and she wasn't a fat girl. You know so she had to do something about shoes, super voluptuous she's, given a lot of unnecessary boners that were torn fair warfare. She didn't like it. She didn't like all the bone. It plus she was beautiful. She was beautiful and she's ridiculous tits, but when I got down there already been reduce ledoux. But they still me make a real run. Yeah I mean it looks just like a press use of ill with do think. There's a lot of early breast lie actually actually remove the nipple and then relocated. It's really kind of crazy yeah two women that have giant tits, it's like another one in affliction. Well, That is bad. It's your fuck man. It really hurts you know it would. She would tell me that she would like her back would like lock up
open, share your job yeah. She had crazy neck pains and she was like real athletic too. So she really used to piss her off she's do a lot of different sports and their fucking tits In the face of shit, I saw somebody walking their day them jiggling up so hard. It's like how do you live with those? You showed me a picture with my wife. Go get a man. Are you doing you leaving your wife out there in the wild. This is Pasadena son. She gets crazy here. Like she might going to bring her in here? Full cry Kreischer all I've never seen his wife. I don't think you know, then you can't bring her into the jungle you're not supposed to bring their wives in here. That's a smart yeah. This should not move would be bring your wife in and she sits down, takes the microphone and then starts talking stupid shit. Oh no, so I want that not that everybody's wife talk stupid shit but, let's be honest, a lot of people's wives talking stupid shit right yeah every now, and then they had like Tom Segura's wife is awesome.
You know the two of them together. They actually enhanced. If she's fucking, hilarious comedian, you know Christina Paczynski is fuck she's real, fucking funny man, when I saw her at the SAM Tripoli Show. I was like this poor girl has to go on a trip, hard to do it's hard really hard to do it. So, while all these porn stars are on stage- and there was a dude that was getting whipped, yeah yeah, whatever they going to the show MIKE I'll, do a character or something, but I'm not doing stand up in that. It's a crazy menagerie of chaos and she walked up after the guy was getting whipped in Jenna's own the place, and I was like- and I've been talking to her before it was the first time I'd met. It was just like one slash two an hour before and I was like wow Tom's wife is so nice and then I knew what the fuck she was going to have to do this we're going to have to go on after this guy, with his pants down getting spanked by a porn star- and I was like whoa how is she going to just you know: shouldn't have some lame bullshit? You know, you know, you know like you have that one friend doesn't have. They might have some good jokes, but I don't know how to get going and you get off to a bad start in one of those places like it
running on an ice. You know she just went out there and she just went out and crushed, and I was like wow. I went to a wrestling event that Serrano and somebody had to go on like during intermission. Some, like new comma, comes like every. I left. I stayed there just I felt bad. I want to give an audience such an impossible situation. My dad's been married for so long and he always gives me these. He always gives me these weird Christmas gifts and, like all these tools from like hardware, stores, like he gave me a dremel recently. He gave me rope to keep in the cards in the kids, have to tow something, and I'm thinking like you know what. Why does he give me all these these tools and all these fucking things and I'm thinking all these are all the same things that Dexter uses to murder his his victims, I think what TED is getting me he's like living in hell and he's just like you got now. You can take to the list of this there's a place. There's a there's, a show called hidden city, it's a new show on the travel channel, do show and one of the
things, they had honest the black dahlia murder. You know the black, dahlia murder, really fucking creepy murder. They made a movie about a woman. She was in It was in LA and a surgeon had cut her open and left her there. They knew that it was a surgeon like the way it was done. It was like she was expertly dissected and it really creep people the fuck out, and they had this guy who found his father's Fucking Journal when it after his father died, and it had all these photos of this woman in this black dahlia woman, and then it turns out that he found out that this guy by his father- was actually fucking this chick and then he looks at the fucking letter
that this guy had sent to the police. He was like mocking them. The black dahlia murder e, like he found out, he would send things to the police, so the study found hers downed. The son found out that his dad, who is a prominent doctor who like did a lot of like creepy shit, one of the reasons why I got away with this and they didn't even chase him down as a suspect, was because he did a lot of abortions and alot like he treated people for VD. He did a lot of things for Hollywood stars and he knew some c So there's too many people in power had some influence and somehow this guy slipped under the radar, but is guys son, was outing in his son was saying that my dad's handwriting, looking at these letters that died already asked that was already dead. He knows his dad was bone in. I would I love my kids share to fuck you. I want my kids to share it to fuck yeah. You do you don't get caught this Christ? Let it out! I want to know what I want, but you're taking the bullet.
That's information that people need to know that, first of all, they need to know that people are capable of doing such shit and that someone could be your dad on a loving father, that's information! You can't hold that back. It's a terrifying possibility that your own father we have cut a woman in half, he kept all those pictures he must've enjoyed. It is like a pawn to police, he kept sending them letters and sending them like pieces articles over clothing but he taunted them, and I would want my son to sell right. You would want your You know you tell to tell everybody yeah. If you were that fucked up and off the rails, yeah yeah. We want to get it out when you have no chance of getting that. That's perfect. Even why would I why are you I was able to legacy? Is that no, I don't want to ruin mine. What do you? What do you do you? What do you have to do with that? You're, the son? What house? How are you wrote a common name?
I cry sure the Dalai Ehlers and then I'm also Albert pressure, and then it's we don't even who the killer anyway Birdman see it. Has a nice ring to it killing nationwide. What mom? What's to stop you from like it's not really. His name was to stop you from making your name too. What can you just because of her and see how brilliant would that be of someone just took like of the name of, a famous person. Like you know, like you know, my name is Joe Rock. Can anybody stop? You will be Goldberg said fucking, my Chris Rock's brother know know know know, but we all related. We all go back with Burt Pit. My name is Alice FAT Comic brother, so we should call themselves Carl Mencia Car hasn't even alphabetically to always be right before him in listings right, wow, that's like LAN. I winning the Oscar
I thought of when I did super high me was that it's funny that it'll be right next to super size me and I'll listings array of these and stuff. So I get. I still get that little extra push of like people are trying to be looking up the other movie and then maybe notice, mind you know like cigarettes, albums thrilled yeah, yeah. Is there thriller? I told him he called thriller to think I did. I don't know. Maybe I get album, but you gotta call it. You gotta call it something like like something like I'm trying to thriller again. I've never been good at naming things you're good at. What's your next movie greatest movie ever rolled right like that's. What is that about? uh. If anybody on the planet more connected to the weed and Doug Benson good Point, right up there with you but yeah up there, my body
It's you've gone a step. Further I mean I, I wanted to be able to be buried in a jewish cemetery right. Let's move in the room you like, even if you didn't, even if you were to hilarious comic, you would just be the most fun person to be around Red Oak like like. Is that what you wanted to stand up, because people are always having a good time when you're around? I don't know, I don't know, I think you just got to go. I think I think I yeah you know it's so funny. Is I don't know I have no idea but yeah, you don't want to go to you know what me say something so you got to. You got a great energy, but you also have an energy. That's like you're, such a nice guy when guys like us, Run India, like somebody, might take advantage of this guy first guy getting raped in prison riot. You know you're, not just like you, not just a fun nice guy, you, like you're, a fucking sweetheart thanks
but he also says that you know he's got some pretty dark tweets, which are always fun when a christian company, no no man has ever the life of the party title you and Joey Diaz or negative Joey Diaz is a different kind of magic because he's a human car tool, human car, Do you know how often he just the tournament and watch him go? It's like you, don't walks in the room just owns that bitch dog girl, pregnant girls house and eating pussy on trailers, Lucy Snowbush. I hear that my head all the fucking TAJ welcome when he don't don't worry about it. Monkey at two hundred in the morning come on. While alkalis when we get dance.
There is a moment moment when he was telling that story that I've never laughed this hard in my life. Now that sounded horrible done that, and I thought it would not have broken into girls out an equation that notice I never even ingredients. I had so many great models with the comedy store when I first met Brian, but Joey was one of the main reasons for hire in a guy like Brian, to follow us around the comic store because you never knew when magic would just come, but out of his mouth now, when the egg roll you never know here is so crazy. Remember always willing to drop. His pants always pulled difficult dick outlet heartbeat he's taken to the next level. Words like, like I'm a soldier, take my dick, my dick out. Like a soldier. I was doing radio Richmond. There was this young band and it was like they were playing like in there did you ever do Richmond sludge? no way. Man and I know you guys ready for the road there like, I didn't realize there were fourteen and they were ready for the
negative shit that happens on the road and they're like what goes on the road, and I go like leaky submarine, like you ever played out with your friends like when I go how about this, and I just take my dance on the show there in my dick and these guys, just their children there's some maybe should be in ten years ago. I think there's no statue of limitations on that shit. Parents are the waiting room. I did not expected that to happen, but what, if your dad did that? Would you tell people after retirement payment? That was never really happened right. That's all jokes, jokes, you're talking about really important, let everybody know people are thinking like did Bert Kreischer really exposed himself to no, no, it's a joke. She material and they were twelve there and literally, like eight. Did you hear that fucking story in the end of a guy who shot his gun off to shoot a fucking mouse Miss without his friend in the chest, the police come and find out that his other roommate had a thirteen year old hiding in the closet?
and no one knew no one knew no one had any idea. This guy snuck a thirteen year old and was fucking her for months and had are hiding in the closet and he got because she wasn't hiding places being shot out. What do I do with a little girl? If you could you imagine if you were a roommate of that guy, and you had no idea that I could do that, but I bet that guy I met the guy got caught with like you. What would you do the mouse you idiot No, because that is a believe his friends didn't know. They believe by the reaction of his friends had no idea. It was to apparently it was like really obvious. I mean I don't know. The cops have a pretty good judgment when you, when you're the right there at the scene of a crime, they've seen a million guilty people today, when shit like that happens? Like did you know that guy was there and if you jump back no, I didn't fuck it. No there's there's certain dudes. Where you know. That's not
that's not even just having guys in the cop for awhile. You have that that street sense, where you know what's going down yeah you can send an audience, you can almost latin women, you mean not all of them, but a lot of them. Don't you and you said an audience and you kill someone the comic yeah you can. You can like right to tell you what someone does almost everything kind of car they drive just from having it done so much. No, I'm good with that. I can't I don't smoke weed here. You shouldn't even touch: it listen you're smoking weed in his room with your leg. It or not. I got news for the ventilation is not the best appreciated. I designed to be non ventilated to keep the good stuff anyways. Do you think the mouse is on the wall? Is the guy on the floor already in a minute that was on the ground, the guy shot at the ground? Look when you're in the other guy was on the ground. Also just missed he's an asshole and somehow another bullet ricocheted or somehow hit him in the chest. Maybe the fucking mouse was on a counter who the hell knows, but the point is you
his roommate went through the wall of his room in the chest in the scene in a cone brothers movies. What it really is, it's more evidence that life is fiction. I mean you just just try to imagine that being a scene in a movie a cop shows up because another guy, you would even want it. You would have to see the whole scene play out. You have to see the guy go to shoot at the mouse missed the mouse. His friend, the chest cops come what the fuck in that guy's closet. One guy, I slept through the whole thing, but one guy they will come up. They will come up. He didn't even hear you didn't hear anything until the cops were like shaking him up. You see right but who fucked, who why he had no idea. Imagine you go to bed you're, just hanging out with your bros. We got a cool house together. I don't know Tom he's kind of weird spaces room most of the time, but he's a great roommate mat. Is it done good situation? We have a nice neighborhood. Car safe at night, I'm going to get some sleep and you wake
the middle is the cops. Listen. I got news for you kid. Your world has been shattered. You're really is a fucking pedo and the other one shot, the other one in the chest 'cause he was trying to hit a mouse, not dreaming what shit I don't want to move back in with my fucking parents. Never taking alpha brain again. It does sound like a dream. It's only a dream. This guy went to bed. Thinking has a great place where what was the art like on the walls of that apartment? It was all def, leopard all def, leopard, so fucking relevant posters, all velvet and Elvis. He likes Elvis. We don't even know in his music, and I was funny shit. Bro Elvis is number one Elvis always number one bro the suspicious minds can get me going yeah. You know Does it better Dwight Yoakam I've got my wife's. Alright yo come Bro, Dwight Yoakam place the fucking shit outta suspicious minds. It's so good. You go damn. He might have done it better than Elvis it's that fucking good. If you're into that shit, you gotta open up if you're not into Dwight Yoakam, even got no soul but
you missing something: what's the what's the most country, how could you do it? I go check out. Jon J, not Johnny Cash from my dog's name, Johnny Cash yeah. I love Johnny Cash, who just me the what how much act with truck what? When Ronstadt, did you really produce to add in the robots tech? It's saying her off your you're, no good, you're, no good! you're, no yeah, that her yeah a little bit chubby! So weird! If I was there right now, she definitely saying that song. She sang a bunch of songs blue. Why you that blue by you song, fucking voice, is beautiful man? people, don't give Linda Ranstead any crime going back shop day come what may to attempt hour life. When I saw in that video with Jack White, she didn't really take a lot of yoga classes and stick that vegan diet and really try to make the most out of the body. She looks. Ok, she got back just brought it back. Look at me, she's old! She was
she had one music video that I watched. I really liked watching 'cause she's like jump around and dress or something right. Sheriff her man. If you could find it like one of our first album's fine, she had to make sure up, see you super cute. I have a fucking thing for the Sabbath we hit. Like thirty. I have this crazy girl. I don't know Oh yeah yeah. She had a lot of slender rod. Step bitch pay attention to show is helping bird bird out with something no practice at a situation you to show Brian, your penis Jesus Christ, no God switching the camera every five seconds. Oh, no, the damn are buttholes gross the little roster, but that's an inside joke because of Brian. You know I was addicted to the other day everyday. I'm shuffle! Really! That's the.
Version Bro, it's hassel and but for whatever reason they censor it. When you go to sleep you're going on the Walmart version. So this weekend everything see this when yes mystery very. Why we jam shuffle and what would you be shuffling? We could be house, let voted. You want, Linda Ronstadt, on the roster and whatever I'm covers early careers. Look behind yeah there you go, I'm trying to scroll, as if you don't know yeah. I know I know they have to troll. Due to the shock of. Look at the one where she's in the roller skates in the hallway on that that red top that's a cute, went to know down weather down the down click on that upper neuron step, yeah, so size that image
she is a cute okay, yeah Brian. Are you just listen to them? This is Linda. Ronstadt was Natalie another round get over each other. Here in the run, That was a bad ass bitch. You gotta respect, Linda Rods, Tab Brian play some random Ross and, let's hope, shit sue us just just do it bitch. Let me look up that get up that song. You know good, I think as long as we talk over we're allowed to do that somehow or another. Hopefully so, but doesn't lock us up and steal our feet and don't take our feet. What is on the soap with thing? Do you have an opinion on this being a man of the internet? What is it? Do you know, stop online piracy. Ours is in this soup in Spanish. Yes, so a little bit about it. It's people are pretty fired up about it. Some people yeah
I thought it was trending today at one point: what is it? Well, it's stopping online Piracy ACT and what people are worried about is that is going to give the government please permit. To shut down websites yeah, that's right, it yeah yeah, that would be a good power for them to have, but I also something tells me that that You know, especially in an election year, they're not going to try to it's become such a big hot potato that I don't I know how I don't know how committed they are going to be not anymore. You know, as soon as they find out that it might lose the thread song desperado. No, you know good and no good, no good! That's desperado! Well, that's a fucking eagle song. You don't know How dare you you have no knowledge of the 70s rock to you. You just live in. Sorry girls. They discover that I could get into this like drunk on a plane listening. This bitch is voice just stop and it
You don't get that without some pain, your life. Feeling better since I'm over you. Listen to this shit. Ok, You hear that man that some righteous indignation for your ass son- that's a chick speaking from the fucking soul on a stage with a microphone. Imagine if you are the guy who fucked her over and then you know that this song is about you, God, Damn Linda wants that just fucking ice you out from the country, especially if there's a German. I wanna hear city playing this video. I wanna hear singing the song I like watching the old ladies sing shut up beautiful voice.
Do you speed it up trying to speed it up? It's been split up the old What the fuck is wrong with you, man, play the real song. It was so sounds like a faster version. I thought your voice is a little bored and monkey when we, when we want to talk about something, don't do that. Let's do no. There was an effect on you. Fuck is really what you fucked up the whole thing. Let this listen to this thanks wow. She looks at the different voices that such an asshole thing you do. Listen to this is a real
yeah. It sounds more. Like a woman now I thought that was recorded. She sounded like Susanna Hall of Years old Bro go change. Your tampon, he made it sound like Susanna Hoffs in random or yeah. Chipmunk kill was good. How about that still still better than bullshit. Still hopes of this, even Brian Redban can't ruin it yeah. Look at this. Well after another background before it's like something about chicks that have that kind of power. In their voice is really scary, intimidating man, just come off in their forty fuck yeah. They do hardcore would never seen heart lately. Will listen to their in their 50s, but I still going then I could listen to that song that cgi those bitches they need to do,
if they do that japanese band, once you got one of those girls got fat, she didn't matter. She still built it out. The Wilson sisters, yeah, yeah Nancy. Still at it, she's married to Cameron, Crowe yeah, so reply to sue she's, the thin one right and then there's the other one. They both had their moments. I thought I thought there about the beginning. When heart was going, they were like they were really flowy clothes, but they were one. They did a lot of kicking. You know a lot of high when there's now Berenson then shit. Let us sing it. Let us say imagine that was you thinking about God. Damn everybody would be on her side, so it seems too good. I keep thinking of the guy sitting next to his you're hearing this. For the first time goes.
It's been like dude, it's good song, honey like fuck for Maine, Linda Ronstat, had it whatever the fuck. It was listen to this. Maybe I don't know Brian. We have to do that, just let it in man's a basic tested to me on Twitter today that we instead of a drinking game, we do a smoking game and you have to take a bong rip every time. Brian Redban says something stupid. I don't going to die. I want to be the first guy, but I from marijuana that kind of lung capacity I want to be the first. Do I told that twitter early was rude? Brian is a rude thing for him to say we ruin the cause. You know what happened to me. I gotta fake Doug Benson that I've been talking to your scores, so system yeah underscore done buddy. Don't do that. Why don't you just change your name to Doug Benson Fan that would be totally cool, but right now you're confusing
this retweets. Everything I write is the weirdest thing. What's the boy, he loves anyone, that's public image following you too. It's a good thing. Man, he loves you. He ain't a bad guy. He loves you, but it's confusing, sir. Please yeah. That's we change your name on the honor system. I think it's fair that Doug Benson should tell you and you should respond to right! So you know the guy listens to the stuff course. This is everything he's, read every soul. That's because he's got a Google chip in your underwear disallowing down. He smelling here anyway, he's on a like no he's on a bike with a g p s thing following you trolled me because he thought I thought he was asking. Actually I thought you were asking me to be on your podcast, in like a joke and I go yeah sure. And then you report something like sounds great Burt. I don't can't yet
you give me your number, no not for a while they have money. No! No! No! Your number, but I was joking, it was a joke with him and then I realized tweet and then and then I replied I phone for that too many times. I just my address, yeah you. Me a fake address, so that was that was a funny reply, but the thing that cracked me up about you is for months now. Every time you mention me on Twitter, I always click on your thing to send you a direct message to say: hey, let's trade, numbers or email or something and
but you don't follow my new, follow you. I've been I've been following that guy have a following that guy. So this whole time hasn't been around that long. I'm talking about for months now you have a grand old man, you could have random unfollowed. No, I don't care. I just took this exchange before you clicked on APOLLO already, so it doesn't doesn't follow. Nobody would even like this lion. Bitch. This reason don't want to stupid sites like. Let me tell you this. Let me take the secret of first of all. This is not a fight, but yes, it is a common thing that people get upset when people are not following them me, I let it go, but Doug Benson. If you want to get all AG, No, I just want Alaska Bird for not following I'm just lazy, and I want to get in touch with him. So it's funny every time I click on it. It just funny when somebody mentions you generally, when you click on it, you can write back to them,
you know because they were following you. That's why they're talking about you like they're, not typing at and your name, is that their assholes? Yes, unless they're trying to get yourself a bunch of twitter yeah, I got a lot of people that just write my name in some shitty and then I can't write back to him. 'cause they're, not even following me in the first place, but that's you know my twitter random. He unfollows people yeah unfor yeah. It does that because I did follow you for a long time because you're, the one that got me onto you, don't you just dm people, you don't reply. I don't have rights. I don't reply in front of everybody because yeah so smart, weird man. They want to have like conversations out and and the public, hey man how's everything they're trying to drag you out in any like in the other world in front of everybody yeah. You know, it's yeah, instead of it being in their conversation like I'm happy to engage and that's about it. If I have the time like if I'm somewhere in a doctor's office or something at ten minutes, kill hobbling toward an answer, questions read everything in sanskrit, but you know I got it's got to be on My convenience, I gotta, be able to do it whenever I want to do it and you reach me
question and your answer so that the people get the whole story. I just don't still get the people just right, yeah. Well, you know he pulled back and yeah the right back. The fourth is like: why is it? You should be are you doing on twitter? You should want people to read because it's going to be interesting, yeah, not all of the it's, not something that just white noise are confusing. You know about the like, like a like on something and that it was if it was properly tweeted. It will show up on those applications and in the website as a time line yeah. So you don't have to re tweet if you click on it right in between that thread, if your supply, nobody else is that right right, but it's a that's. If somebody does that yeah it, but most people do that, don't you give? No you give people that extra level of research they're not going to do it. I mean, as it is you'll find those people writing to on Twitter. They just signed up- they just heard about it through you or, however, and so there like testing the waters and there like they'll say something to you and their avatar is always an egg. Because they haven't even figured out how to do that, and so
first it was really confused. So like whenever I dm somebody yeah, I get back. Hey man, I can't write back it won't. Let me write back to you. Is the phrase people use it won't. Let me- and I was right back. You know the system works. You know. That's that's like how supposed to be. I I'm happy to say something back to you, but I can't follow everybody. Can you imagine, following everybody direct messages, direct to your phone yeah? You do That's it ridiculous ridiculous. I don't do that because all the people I follow. I want to know when they see when they, you know four hundred twenty four hundred twenty yeah. You want to know when they say anything about you. Jesus Christ, for you know when this occurs, when a it's, whenever they're like trying to say something to me, nor any direct message I bet it's not you don't have it go off in your phone every time, there's a tweet to your name. Do you know but if someone I'm following tweets, my name for some reason it comes up and that's usually saying something to me that I would like
respond to those. So I mean if they say it out in the public, Stratus you're, not even a direct, that's just in the public. They say your name becomes your phone, so that's four hundred and twenty people that that that text you every day no, no, they don't. How is a lot of people who may be lacking the other five, a lot of people chill, that's a great way to do it. I guess right if you want to give them ultimate access to you, that's the smart way to do it just made sense Doug, because that does my phone the same thing now that I realize that it does it's only people. I follow that there, at, like today, Mark Barron, wrote I'm on Doug Benson's blah blah blah blah blah, and it came up on my phone and I like to know that I like to know that mark was nice enough to give it a plugin. Well, all of that it just to name drop mark. I think that, with a sigh he's trying to be a nice guy he's trying to be a nice guy, here's he's. Yes, he has a moment yeah if you look at it from the outlet in the right way, it's engaging watching. You try to be nice guy, because he was on the show with his on a show with some friends of mine, and you know, he's he's. Unto two
like he's always wearing something like a hat or something that is easy to make a visual joke about that makes him he flips out even more than most people, 'cause he's so neurotic so neurotic that, like he's, he's so thin skinned that it's hilarious to watch him, he explodes in a humorous way. Yeah he's relies a lot he's a funny book he's, but I'm just doing it, but it's yeah. You gotta understand his thing. You know it's all. It is he's a good guy. He just got understand his things thing. You just tends to go to the net, yeah and he's the only though he was a come over. We don't know so you everything you know he's not a bad guy man he. Just struggled he's in a constant struggle with himself, but but he's not a bad person you just just just yeah. I was just fucking artist, man. You know when you're an artist there's a lot of us are weird, that's something we have to accept and all the people that I know are in one way or another weird. You know
great skill, earnestly attorneys in the house powerful just where does it gets right, just happen to be talking about weird people who fucking shows up perfect timing. Weirdo is the market drinking game to listen to the podcast. Every time it there's a snaffle you drink. This is going on here, yeah, but you drink coffee. You don't is that it was not. So I was drinking game. He yeah they're, all winners. I said I'm I'm happy to see the guy doing. Good though you know I was so, is a talented comedian and you know, as whatever it had held him back for, however long you know before I got really recognition for like what he, what he's capable of Have it as like an interviewer he's excellent, you know, he's great he's. Weird goes a tad towards the negative. I think that he'd get stuff out of you. You know, like people like I, I did not mind. My conversation that I had with him was really open and I try to be as honest as possible. Happy birthday, always trying to get you and I- and I said I don't think so. I think you just wanted all the
He wants to be an interesting interview. He what he wants to make the whole thing thing to listen to it all. If you really want to do that, if you want to get all the information at the expense of you know, person's feelings or or the way it is, that is the way to do. It is the only way to do it, and you have to be open to that. If you're willing to sit down talk to a guy like that, and that's supposed to be that way, it's a good thing. It's a good thing. You know whatever it confronts for you, it's probably good. You know, I mean it's, not it's not dishonest about it. It's you know when he, when he's confronting, you are communicating about something he's almost certainly doing it out of an intellectual, have you he's thought about is dissected in this is what he is coming up on a lot of a lot of times. Whatever your thing is, that makes you you he's also the thing the you up in. A lot of you 'cause, I'm really I'm robot artist, I'm really honest and always try to be friendly. If I see someone like an eye and I even if I don't know the, if I do them like like, I didn't, we know Doug it all. In one day he was getting high outside my daughter's school and I was like swear to God. I wasn't getting high out before I use where it was, and now I was doing I was
I was going back to my car from the from the gym right there right I go to Golds gym, you look like you were getting high, but I went. I went up and I totally approached him in like this like like, like like a fan like hey Doug, I just want to say you know all these things and then so. Also often that view is taken as oh he's weak like no one respects like I'm just be very honest in the mode. Well, let me be honest man, because when I first had get in contact with, you is through Twitter and I didn't I didn't know anything about you other than that Jay Mohr story. That's why I kept hearing from people just by following you on twitter, and they communicate with you on Twitter is like look how nice this fucking guy is there's like certain things that come through, like in text we can tell You know, and then, when we had you on the podcast was like boom. You are lucky, exactly how you're right, you're just you're a great guy, but because you're such a warm guy people who have deep set insecurities
Will try to pray on that yeah, that's where God, guy like you have to be careful, because you you really are like the life of the party, but you need to be. Around a bunch of people who are like your bros who were going to fuck yeah, I'm so sad that I said that Bros, but I meant it the right way. I met in the correct contact, so it was just really the incorrect word. I stumbled there. I apologized profusely prime ranks cause writing. Yeah comrades is excellent. I was writing. I would hit backspace and go browse the FUCK idiot. I would. I would step away from the computer right now and like rub my hands together and then I'd re engage because there was no. I totally know you're saying you know, I'm saying like you're, one of those guys you're the life of the party by the phrase from Brody Stevens, positive energies, going to your other outside of that thing, the microphone. Actually, the other side is the purple tape side. Yeah yeah this purple. Take that two ways: if you don it's so ridiculous, but if you don't talk in that thing, you're you're in the distance there yeah. I think
we had this porn star in there and if you think she stuffed it up around what do you? What do you think of this? Damn bitch you feel like I'm eating corn on the Cobb. Now it looks like a like a kill shot. It looks one of those hot uggs in the little so I off MIKE was that, to borrow a phrase from Brody Stevens, there is positive, positive, yeah yeah, but your problem is you're, so positive that I feel like I have to look out for you. Thank you. Joe do I went to the car and I don't feel like you need it. I know you don't need your grown man, your fucking grown man or husband, now you're now regular mess like everyone of these tables amount just needs to be protected and be but you're that guy right, you in
regulators started called I'm. Where is that we already have a school desk, what you're part of it? So we all, let's stop playing just wants a cult. I'm in well then where's my drink, let's get out of it is like brandy. It's a supervisor called do whatever you want to do when I control in your guys, let's take it to the next level and brand each other tonight. How do it I'm in it's all about impulse. Do I share. Burke ratio was seconds away from drinking his own piss at my house. I swear to God. I would've had him. We would have done it. In my purse. Ok, I'm just saying I've already done it. I you do it. I know crazy more about guys and you just what I was gonna say that go. It does not use that I would ask Joe if you ever just reaches in Like Ali one of these bugs like what you know, if you have you ever done, Doug Benson becomes some guy that I meet at Fridays in Oklahoma, Hey man, I just gotta, ask you something you ever just reach in and grab one of those Buckhead.
You never do that. You never do that, though, how long you been working as a manager question years ago, hey Joe fear factor for you, wow, it's crazy. It's crazy question have to think about that. Come back to you something down. No, but you've done top my head. I want to really consider you've done, like you've tried some of the stunt things they have to do right. I've only couple to eat a few things. I've only eaten like some spy, in a spider or roach most of its nothing. Most of it's completely has a good at one. Recently. This kid named MIKE on my yo, was on the id Channel brand. The e channel he's a Michael you know was on the first season of fear factor. I think it was on the very first episode of fear factor and now is like one of these in it on tv guys and so he came and we came to the show to film some stuff like hey. This is where you started out as your first time on tv and we ate these spiders together, and I hate this cave dwelling spider.
Look terrific, but it was like nothing. We can. We can be fucking, nice, guy, really nice guy, fungi he's a big time. Radio DJ in Miami does like really well on the radio, and he actually does it go, to Miami and also does it from LA as well. I think you know it doesn't somehow another like records segments great guy, though I have a fear The question: when am I going to see that girl crying with the other person shaving her head? That's now I don't know why that's a two hour episode and when it types out man, that's some of the deepest shit you're ever going to see. I'm clearly it is fascinating water cooler. I don't know just how I wanna say anything until it's over, but God damn that that check was badass and I'll. Tell you what man she looked better. She looked better after she shaved her head. I don't say anything more this, but is this amazing up? So I have a fear factor question that that that video, that you showed us that we can't talk about talk about the
no, but is there any updates us on the schedule? As far as we know, question I don't have to raise the Larry, what was she wearing and who design from to get personally disappointed when the team of hot girls is the first team eliminated all have id's federalist era with this is Lee here, let's get out of here and not the static shots they do of the contestants walking away when they've been illuminated, so it's so funny. I know it is kind of funny it's kind of ridiculous price will be back in two seconds. Everyone were helper, Kreischer mean time. Let's get to know Jason glare. Do you have any music in the background actually hold on. Please, sir, Brussels, Sir, will introduce you on our own time. Sir, thank you welcome to the broadcast. Listen these guys first time on the one just taken
cool start talking. We will feel really bad when I give you a gift job, but I don't ever feel bad. I give you it's part of what makes you happy keys for him. Whatever you choose to do, I do not feel bad forever. This is intro music for another guest. You can choose to give me all the money in the world and I'm going to go poop seas and I'm not going to feel bad, I'm going to say well, I gotta give some of it to other people. I've been waiting for learn to get on this podcast that for the longest time I love this guy, so you want to kiss him right now. Let's do this brother bring in the new year the right way, 'cause I'll get up boy. Ok, cool! Get up! Let everybody know. Let me show you your love Tom Bryant don't be scared of tongue or a man just like holding hands. If you can hold his hand, you could tongue am getting there boy, he is hilarious, and are you allowed to talk about what you do for a living uh yeah yeah I mean. If I get shit, can. Can I be like a fucking,
page on your show, because it's the internet going to tuck. What is the issue? Is there an issue at hand? Is their problem, though it's like there's, no it! but I I just as I said hello try to stop the presses stopped. Yes, so it's like, I was, let's get all our our our office in generals over here in the Senate side. Has anybody know anything about the law? Here's what I think culture Yes, he was laughing. I don't know I am, could be easily just charge for anything that he says a thousand percent. Do you use your real name? Yeah? Absolutely: okay. We got a yeah, yeah yeah, alright. Well, that's why I like even on the twitter stuff, hello, love. How are you I won't say? I won't say that I teach on twitter or whatever I don't know what happened. I think I've made hi. How are you what's going on YO ban the.
We just the entire culture pressure. Just entered the building, their big fans of they've back prob they're bad they're, going to go to the hospital alright, how do they have glaucoma, because they're going to the comedy show right yeah? So I knew that was happening as well, so they're taking a nice break to give them this, and it's really good for glaucoma. So I think, come up with a solution for Jason. I think you just need to draw pictures of what you're thinking for the whole thing because I don't think you can get sued for pictures. Do you like doing it? like a you know, yeah, it's all right. I mean it's just like you know, I'm the same in that fucking classes. I am anywhere so I can appreciate it like. I teach there like juvenile offenders. So
You know, but you enjoy doing that. You enjoy work with yeah. I mean it's a fucking job. I mean you know it's like. Would you do it? If you had, I mean if you did need, if I, if I didn't, have a fucking family in a mortgage, an I could make some money. I'd probably go to this place that I teach an volunteer play soccer and fuck. Is that rewarding? No none? None see rye. I mean look, it's like yeah, I I well! No it's not! I mean I've been doing it so long that I just treat them like. I would treat any right I mean so it's not like I'm trying to save folder for them. That's probably a nice thing, man, because you're I said. I don't know where I might have anybody that's willing to try and they know, and then I remember that when they come back in their old and you know he does really bad ass man, I'm sorry. I really appreciate the shit out of that. That's awesome, it's alright. Do you think those let's listen to podcasts? uh, no they're, technologically they're kind of fucking out to lunch.
So you are going to start with a reading, so you're not going to hear all these things are saying about them. I want to talk about this man, 'cause you're, a really funny guy and Really smart guy and I see guy like you and I've seen guys make that's that struggle to be a professional comic. You know I've seen guys you make that struggle to get booked. You know I've with ARI. I saw with ARI for years. You know for years. Ari was like way underrated and he would like. As I remember I place, it was really frustrated for me. I was like you guys are crazy. He's going up. I would bring ARI on the road with me. He would go up dead, cold in front of you know three hundred and within twenty minutes. He was crushing Isabel site yeah. I was like look. You get get to get somebody else to get in front of those fucking monsters right. This is a headliner he's a headliner forty five minutes, but for whatever reason it wasn't until like twitter and the internet and the podcast
and the the obvious online following it's like now, people they see and like now your fucking headlining everywhere and you're like working on time. It's like. I watch that frustration, so I see a like you and I go. I don't know what it is. I mean if we blow you up on the podcast. Maybe that's it, but you got to stop working you're a Will Amit yeah. I know if you love doing that shit and volunteer and that's beautiful and I'm sure that will help you with a human to make your comedy better. You shouldn't be relying on his shit is an income. You should be making a comfortable living off your art form. You wanted the funniest comics. I know I love you and I love you were great amazing, an very proud what you guys from Israel and after this, some of the sign that that you, don't you think it's it's going to test your hair, they're gonna pull some mustache has out basically going to jail. Well, look! It's not! I think everything is connected. I think everything complements itself an if everything can ultimately connected sum. Fuck
point, and you know I'm just ride it out and see what the happens. I should probably be more pro active but like I started your own podcast act, been shot. Plus you have one, but just like me getting booked it's like it's half ass. You want to get together, alright, that type of shit. So maybe I need to kick you fucking arse and then maybe just a oh yeah. There's a lot of now. It's not that man. Yeah, one of the any one of them can wield made me more ambitious right. We'd made me more ambitious than ever, because there's absolutely because you can get me all his ideas rush? If you make you make some more introspective, you consider all the possibilities pro and con. If you don't get your shit together and like I'm we'd made me want to get like ahead of the curve financially. So I don't have to think about money makes me want to water. My lawn really. What makes me do that too. It doesn't. That's productive! That's a productive thing to do. I always say everybody's got their own different reaction, but for me it cleans up my life little holes, little
things that are bothering me little things that I don't like about the way I behave things I don't like about the way I use my day. If I, hi. Those are things that bug. I don't like that feeling. So I don't do those things anymore. I correct myself. I you, the the reason. I said this angry with him at your. I cannot answer. No, that's why such a nice guy yeah, how do you not like Doug Benson, always like super positive and high as every time you one hundred percent guaranteed I've never seen Doug Moody ever I've, never seen Doug Benson get past like a five on the pissed off scale. Really, if you really stop hanging out having fun, though, like that we do fun, things together raise their voices, even if Doug it's like halfway Madison was like. Oh man, fuck him. You know it's like, never really easy to be mellow when you're on when they're just hanging out with somebody that sat there saying you know like it when I'm at UFC or one of your stand up, shows it's fun to just hang out there, because it's it's your thing and I'm just hanging out but like
if you saw me how I am like, if it's my show, you know what I mean I could find the headliner and the opening act goes long or some something stupid happens. I have a temper I get. I get frustrated with Bing. Opening acts going along can be upsetting it's when people get unprofessional and we've all done it so guilty of it me talking about it at all. It's completely hypocritical I've totally gone long. Many times it's like you, don't want to get off says the audiences, so, prime, it's so awesome! You have more bits and like fuck it, and you can just say I'll- just do this one more bit before you know it you're like ten minutes late, I didn't know you weren't allowed until I started doing it now and they're like what. Why did you an hour and ten? I like that. Wasn't that long and they were like no four thousand two hundred and forty and stop yeah I like for headlining, yeah or whatever yeah give me that give me that club. I want to work that club see what it is doing. Serious you're used to doing my shows where we just sort of take over
just like I don't know those things are very different when you're on your own yeah. If you sometimes like that last yeah yeah yeah and I was a kid- I was really fly. Yeah in those big theaters you have to be, you know you have to well, you have to be consider the union role. I mean people don't want to work all night, you know, and so, if you make them for hours after they're supposed to work yeah, I guess what I'm gonna. Do you have people they should be treated? You know why do you want to have this show go drag on forever. You know if it makes sense, financial I'd even be willing to pay the extra. You know. I don't think they should have to work extra hard when the contract is pretty simple. It's, like you know a few hours you get it for a few hours and then get the outta here. It was not you gotta, keep paying us. That's reasonable to me, yeah, but you know you're good at doing you're good at a long. You've got a good long game. You like you, can do a good long set. You know like that's just not my I'm just not that for me it would to get a little too. What's your successfully repetitive for or I go to the crowd too much or something right, you know, and then it would just be. I just feel I like to just
leave them wanting more universally great and you do even though you do longer sets. I backed off a lot of backed off a lot. I used to do q and you do a tight show. That's pretty long! One time I knew I I one time I was in Phoenix and this is why I decide to stop and I was doing to an AIDS all weekend. They would go like an hour and a half after the show, and I was like wow. This is like there's no way to end this right and I was like I would like, and it was like some old big. Or something like that, just to get off stage with a laugh. Yeah like I clearly drag this out way too far, and it was like for some people they loved it, but for it
more than once I see one here. Thirty percent are like: let's get done with. This is yeah. I also they've also got in their mind, probably because of the publicity spry out there that there's a good chance that they can if they stick around okay meet you at yeah, show yeah. It's like me, they're, so excited about meeting you. They don't need to hear you talk for another hour. They would rather meet you they'd rather get that experience. You know like well that happens. People are short attention spans. You know it's you you, you know you you, you can give too much of a good thing. What's not entertaining at all anymore, it's just becomes a chore and I've been there. I've been, there is an audience member and I've been. There is former, and I just learned so I never. I very rarely do more than an hour and ten hour and twenty at the most, and I just fucking try to get it used to be the worst when you're standing behind the curtain way into rap up the show an hour, forty five minutes again and go smoke. I have no idea yeah, I can just any moment. Unfortunately, we have some fucking fun chose, not mad.
You know one of the people I was I was talking to somebody recently, though, like I really don't like the road, it's like so depressing, I'm like Tuah, when we go on the road, we have a fucking party, yeah you're, doing it wrong. If you do it totally wrong depressing, when ARI and Joey and Doug mean we show up in Houston together, we're all smoking weed and eating steak and high five, and we had margaritas in the morning for the UFC, you guys are on the floor. I'm getting paid to be there who's getting depressed is like the greatest experience ever. Let me walk you through the depression we like we can say this is a miracle dream weekend. It happens every time you're stupider table service at that nightclub after water Thursday, in your features, forty seven years old and black and he's got an issue with the fact that you're thirty, nine and white, so he does thirty five of clean killer, he material that he's selling five dvds and three shirts for twenty dollars right and then you
I have to hang out with him all fucking week. That's what the roads really! No, no! No! No. That was like for the average comic for the average complicated for the average comma, but guess what that seasoning son, you don't get to be a pool hustler just straight away. You gotta make you a time in the little bars and wait. Have you ever heard of dollars? You can't just take on people. You mean Van Boening Erase Ten, that's all I hang out with that. They turn tool yeah. Of course, yeah they're always cool, but mostly slip, something in my drink that stuff here. So we just like before just open himself up like Jesus every time he goes to. Let's hang out smoke. Pot hall got people animal. That means eating here we go can't you bring an open it you like now I can now, but this is the first year that it's been like mandatory, it's important to go through the ones where it's bad, so that you appreciate the ones where it's good yeah and you'll always get a bad one anyway, like the other night,
the improv and there's this young lady. That was in seeing that, like just the rudimentary fundamental MC skills were just out the window. So now Doug Benson is going to come to this stage. He's been in well you. If that's it, you don't need to say anymore. You said my name, I'm going to come up now like that and whole at standing there holding the microphone and hands it to each act when they come on, instead of just put it back in the stands go to neutral. I don't necessarily want to start with the microphone in my hand. I always feel bad for them. Yeah yeah 'cause, it's their awkwardness and looks like when someone says when someone comes up to you. What should I say before I bring you on? What do you say? I give
something to say because if you just you know, you feel, like the nice thing to say is just say whatever you want, but when you give them that license, then they then they say the weirdest shit 'cause. They don't know, but it's funny you're right. It can be funny what they say, but it also don't ever leave, but it also puts them into white hot panic because they don't want to think of what they're going to say about you, sometimes They don't want to have that on them. They want that's what they think you suck and they don't want to say it. You know yeah what if it's like, Austin and you work in a cap city and your fucking, you got your bag of tricks and rockets already shoot out of your asshole and like Austin comedians. They don't want to say would tell me what say, bitch yeah yeah come on, I'm in a real fucking comedy town and you suck tell me what to say stupid. It's like those yeah. So was that story about Judy gold? She came up with someone and she was like. I think it was like a for some dick and he was like doing today and she was like. I don't care, I don't give a fucking shit just but here's the thing how many jokes about my height and he was like. Ok, let's just put the idea so that he says what can I say about this next lady, except for V5
so from then broader onstage and you This man, you do not fuck in the worst person ever brought me on stage was Frankie Pace and it was total misunderstanding for whatever reason he thought that I was making fun of 'em 'cause. I had brought him up and I said he was old school. You know, I said Frankie piece uh I go with some old school long Island, comedy 'cause. He was like this guy. When I when I came up he'd already been on television and he was on you know it was like a a big guy in Long Island like you would do it really well out there.
When I said that like old school Long island medium, I didn't mean all he heard was old old old old heard. Man tell you heard someone get a ramp for the state, and so so I said it. I heard he got upset and I talked to him about it and I explained to him I said: listen man, I go, it's not it's a compliment, and so even after I said that to him he went on stage and you know the comic store is always like you bring on the next comic, so it might be Dice Clay might bring you up. You never know who's going to bring up the comedy store and he brings me up and as he's bringing me up he's telling my closing bit he's doing my guys got this really tough. I am so strange bit. Tigers, tigers, sex to each other? It's just really loud. I want to prepare you for that. I like this. I go. You really like to do XII's intro of all time, and so I go on stage and I go listen man I know when I called you old school. I said I I go at me
You have skills and I go. Doesn't that mean that folks, like in the rapper world and the audience cheered? I go dude, I mean no disrespect and he goes well yeah, but then your new school and I was like Oh now I reached out with love, and this is what he did. You now have shown the green face of jealousy and then you said, you're no school, and you know No, no! I said you brought him up. I don't get you brought you. He brought me We brought you up. I had brought him up at another assistance and I said he was an old school comma. Well, it's not an island kerr. You know what it was you if I said, birch question with some old school would stand up from foot to Tallahassee, where, for example, which is, I would want healthy, that we would hi fi hi fine, as I brought him on stage, and that would be the end of it. I was just trying to hype him up yeah, but I said he's a old school comedy veteran.
Long island, I didn't mean the sock man, but for whatever reason, the mostly because you know I'm on this television shows on a sitcom at the time he was still trying to make and was flying back and forth and it will, you know, was a total mess on. You're standing that always bugged the shit up. Are you mad at me when I was like to you about a little something that was fun, people can get, they can get upset man. This is a fucking, tricky business and a lot of people feel like it's not fair and when they feel like it's not fair, for whatever reason they focus their energy on you and really this is a life lesson. If you see someone in their success is making you angry. Look inward look at yourself 'cause! That is your fucking problem. One hundred percent of the time, if that listen upsets you. You may use them as fuel you. May you use them as motivation, you can use them to say I don't ever want to be there
This is a lesson that the universe is given me, but you can choose to not be upset at them. You can choose how you work for it's up to you chorus, it's one hundred percent up to you through it hard. It is hard as fuck bitch. You gotta be understanding the horse dance. I don't think it's hard at all. I mean yeah, but that's you man. If you don't think it's, if you don't think it's hard not to just super chill diggin, you got occasionally squad. So we we helps me to not be angry. It and it'll be a success, is in need of a good class interest and go deep all the way up. Let's see smoking
I don't know. I think you put on the NASA suit in your space and things like that or should happen podcasts off the air, but now we're on you stream. The shit cuts out at least twenty times a show. I thought that was the bonus round for only the folks that are gonna get this on Itunes. It should I say, look it's frozen, look behind you bro! No, that's just the MAC Mini from four years ago! We share were YMCA students learn. What is this? This is a fucking disk for you, it's rock and roll. I saw this with. This is a fucking CIA work. This is now. I know why this funny, guy has not made it with them, is undercover pieces what the other side listened a while back, I saw a tweet or whatever your German is queens of the stone age and I'm like I love them ok, there's some queens on there and then I think that exactly! It's a mix! Tape, sir we're not distributing illegal.
Three days in a row, so I sold out all man that you can't do that. You can't burn against the law. Man yeah, I must in CD. I believe you did, Sir, and I thank you currently have. This is what I would prefer from you since not poor. I would like just a list of all the shit you think is cool and I fucking body for it I'll pay for that shit. Yeah. Look at that like what do you think? Well, man, I I have no business taking anybody's going surprises taken. If anybody was Alan any of the things on that CD either. Can I use that for sure you know, there's no way the hi good conscience. I could not buy it started with a double cassette player in the eight. That's where this copyright well the cassette player period. When you know people were freaking out when cassette players came along, they could actually take the radio number one area. I remember taking the radio dude one of my favourites, Terence Mckenna, interviews, one of my favourites, Terence Mckenna Interviews, Terence Mckenna was being interviewed by art bell and someone taped it off the radio and it turns mechanics, fucking signals cutting out. It's all end:
The actual radio signal goes out almost at one point. We could barely hear that much crackling, but it's still it's still there and it's awesome 'cause. It's got this weird feeling of suspense. It's almost like you're there, Well, you really there. While this whole thing is being like taped in recorded, do do do powerful Bert Kreischer collective. We have no response to that. Bye, bye, contact bird. How much good wreck you want to take a little break e poo and start it's nine hundred and forty with twenty minutes before the show starts. While we take a break you put now, we have most hilarious. Some people on the Fucking Planet earth where there Juego now, I'm just saying, take it off right, worship here I don't know Do you want to take a break in ten minutes? Early 'cause? I have a lot of shit. I have to set up an all this. What are you doing you gotta problem show
So we have another comedy doing a live comedy show in the next service. What do you would you worried about twenty minutes from now? Would you ten more minutes? your cult leader has spoken. Brian, give people something they fucking most drinks and plus I want to the legal with this shit. You know I, these- are playing songs, don't be like? Let's have a party: let's make that like legit, you know a Bryant is made in really excellent point, and I want to I'm going to send my prior ruling 'cause. If our president, that's what I would do, This is what we're going to like Godaddy style yeah, I'm going back just like Godaddy were in this podcast? I want to thank you, everybody for joining in or thank you to Doug Benson, please, please, please subscribe to his podcast is on Itunes and it's called Doug loves movies. Chasing turn. Do you have anything these mother fuckers can connect to you on anything 'cause. They will going to reach out right now that twitter Twitter? What is it? What the fuck is? Your name on Twitter, J, singular.
Spell a GI, Lucas, uh go, learn, gillearn say it one more time being connected, not like jy. So he is not an he's busy he's use my gosh, your own guy fuck face all the technology. They can't find my fucking twitter. Now your twitter sign in which, if they're not fucking retarded, I don't want just. Does it describe dot tv? You will be able to find it if another guy comes in, go learn and he spells it underscore Jason GO, learn alphabetically! You know what either way it doesn't fucking matter, man folks we're going away, but we're not going away. I have shows it Tampa. Improv new year's Eve, Garcia, Jouer Felberg Chrysler has spoken a. Is it true that the essay tees are for faggots? Oh shit, by the way, if you see Bert Kreischer the problem The pressure out there on the street the proper way to address him is powerful. Bert Kreischer
there is heist was say it. So if you see Bert Kreischer, I don't care. If you're at the airport, you forgot the fucking DMV, if you're in line at Walmart, it is power what if I was smoking in front of his kids school, don't do that. Keep it yourself, junkie, you're, fucking, up the cause there Benson, ruining it for the good folks will be right back with the ice House chronicles, which is only available on the desk. While we're going to stop this, you stream show and come back under the same banner at the same website, but I know it's confusing. Stick with us. Thank listen, Motherfucker the podcast still go and don't go talking your own separate groups, Jesus Christ. I know you're a first timer. I know I've got to thank the flashlight. These mother, fuckers wanna start talking about their kids. What the fuck think, how are you Thank you shut the fuck up, I'm talking all the MIKE. This is a God. Damn, it's commercial, fake anger of it's fake. We actually sometimes comedians will like pretend to be upset just to try to make light. For everything, and you know this is Jason's. First
I'm here, and I want to really make one comfortable someone to know so: okay, hey you might not all that's right! You fuck head! You can't talk. Well, I'm talking sensor like Sopa bitch. Oh my goodness censored like Sopa. Listen, we love you and we thank you all for tuning in. As always, this is our second anniversary show and we are happy as fuck that You guys are enjoying this. We love to do it. Need to all our friends that are in this sort of a network of freaks. My friend Doug Benson for Doug, loves movies and Bert Kreischer from birth to conquer online Travel, channel, bitches, Jason, learn. Follow him on Twitter's figure it out. He doesn't want to spell his name 'cause. He only wants people that can figure that out and that's. Smart move! Thank you to the flashlight. If you go to Joe Rogan dot net and click on the link for the flash light entering the code name Rogan, you will get fifteen percent off hello, it's a boy yeah, and then
also. We are sponsored by on it dot: com, o n n. I T's makers of alpha brain a cognitive, enhancer, shroom tech support, a an energy bill based on the course ups mushroom. This is an excellent supplement if you're into working out really hard and Shroom Tech commune, which is a munity supplement, based on a completely different mushroom, all information of the will on it dot com onn it entering the code, Name Rogan and you will percent off. What what thank you? All? We love you thank you tune in for two years, so I don't have a lot of study. Funniest thing, we've ever done, and two thousand twelve is not even
December 21st. Two thousand and twelve is not even a year away. Oh shit, I have the mind.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-19.