« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #22 - John Heffron, Brian Redban

2010-05-25 | 🔗
Date: 05-25-2010 The raw audio from the Joe Rogan weekly live USTREAM video show with Brian Redban and John Heffron.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
the joe rogan podcast ba ba ladies and gentlemen sti tunes version now you stream sorry for the incredible delay absolutely ridiculous out an oil he will tolerate the shit i am simply add on purpose totally did totally did mike stands now suffer my friend john
friday's forced to hold his microphone others we have an ungainly stand right in front of you i think that be ridiculous next time we stand i have a stand no i have it like this i'm just gonna i'm gonna rock it out like this like i'm about to bell out the last part of some song yeah like your elite singer from creed yeah yeah i'm just remember on so i just go like this and this is perfect i'm probably gonna wind up holding onto the mic too because as a comic that seems like a natural thing this seems less natural to have this fucking thing in front of you yeah it's kind of or those stands those are kind of like singer songwriter stands ever do a comedy club i am a singer song well that i know but where were you happy to use a stand like that is there anything more fucking pretentious than a singer songwriter yeah i've done some shitty and then you've got some shitty gigs like if you have like
and this is like say as a comic arena we talked about this a toxic or as a comic you have to admit that most comic suck right would it what are the odds were the other numbers rather like eighty percent suck there's a lot of the lot of that right would seem singer songwriter school singers always right but eighty percent of my fuckin miserable push back right yeah let's go john rada winner of blast comic a miserable douche bag now great guy in incorrect sir incorrect about yourself if you haven't seen john john one season two of last comic standing i thought it was season one cause i blocked out season one because i was on it and i was on buddy hackett and buddy i could go mad at me and then died two weeks later i was going to yell at them is a creepy moment man i think we talked about this do we talk about this well that last time you were on but he had yield me almost all that i'm back in two weeks later he died some do you guys know who rip torn is or rip lamp
or torn or whatever that dude i just today i had breakfast and he sat in the table next to me and just freaking everybody out and stuff what was he funny at one point i don't really know anything about him except he was he's like one of those hollywood squares dudes that's always been on like hollywood squares back in the seventy s and shit right he was passing out flyers at patties and it was just really it is thought learned looks crazy or like you didn't look like him anymore risk how do you know it was really him cause he was passing out rip van torn like five thorn rip torn right on and used to throw the confetti was his thing i like guy guys with but that was back when there was probably just him and hey brian can you do me a favor and just shut that through and that other dude that was way gay that was on hollywood square yeah hey samantha yeah what is his name the worst impression ever but you know some good impressions because i know exactly what you're talking about
charles riley really know that was a different guy yeah this guy was also on bewitched samantha oh yeah you're right i said always like those that guy's dead tell me three way way gay guys whatever in every we shall have to my yeah that's so true if you are a gay guy back then man you had to be fucking obviously gay and never talk about it you know that we talked about their boyfriend now no radio and television oil and now talk about but saxon what they like what they don't like did confetti anyone you know that guy strong confetti he's probably get you know it's crazy when you stop and think about how many people will look undercover gay back in those days like rockets and such so many so many different guy they just couldn't they couldn't be themselves they they didn't have that option it was impossible
or you go dead the added have that option but they could go out and go to like a gay whatever crazy club never get busted have i ever get caught the block now use terms over modulating over much over because it's so fucking powerful now baby i think that readers is that guys better sorry there you go yeah it used to be really terrible i go to any place and not get busted though that was in the day when you left your house you your wife couldn't get a hold of you until you got back home so do gay shit yes so you can have a wife out of how many of them but now how many you think work up front with their wives and said listen you don't have to work ever again i'll give you a big fat house you drive around a nice car you don't have to have a job i have to just be my wife you can fuck guys just keep it on the dm don't get me in trouble do think there was that you think it was that's that's a difficult moved
because you got to be a pretty open and honest guy to pull that conversation off if you're i think that happens to a lot i think there's a lot of beards in hollywood there are but how many of them know their beards see i know i know girl who was married to a guy for ten fucking years and then it turns out the guy was gay the guy came out and fucking years into their marriage and they were dating before they were married so who knows how long the been going on where he was just trying to keep it together britannulists heterosexual and finally he just it just came clean that's crazy shit that girl was i for sure absolutely unaware completely devastated couldn't believe it should blown away you know that that's that's and there's a working working i may she works in hollywood she's is smart pretty crazy story what i understand is my gatar has to go off you know if i'm married to somebody i'm with them that much and if they are really gay the
i wish you would think you would know unless a really stupid yes you would but this woman who i know is not the most sexual person she's very ambitious that she works all the time and she may be doesn't even like sex that much in maybe ever known many like fuckin girls you know maybe maybe it's really good at eton public as it wishes he had one i to it what a terrible fucking gay voice i just so stereotypical i'm so embarrassed myself but yeah it's fuckin it's gotta be real hard to have that wacky gene and now be stuck in a situation we have to pretend that you're not in your magic europe tend to be gay overtime the only way to work in hollywood was you had to be gay so you how to run around pretending to be gay including dating guys and let them fuck you about that right to add to that could you fuckin imagine if that was the only way could you imagine you're comic you want to make it as a comic and you
the only way is if they think that you're gay fuck it's so tempt i mean you want to be a comic so bad you've always wanted to be a comedian that's your fucking thing because you imagine now holy shit you know we're were very lucky so lucky to be heterosexual so lucky so true i mean ex except for the whole you have to worry about babies that's it gay dudes they just plug each other in the ass day and then you have to worry about shed there's no repercussions the worst they get some sort of a disease they get the aids that's the worst but other than that just pleasure it's all pleasure you know just shooting loads in each other and having a good time i got online last night and was on youtube watching our kelly clip my new favour clip of all time and one on the eu tube journey would you always amazing if you ever do should the very first video on youtube you should write them
what it is yeah and then backtrack your mind to see how you went from r kelly too yeah well i went from r kelly to gay bears gay on so bears and daddy bears these all these these videos of gay guys these harry gay guys have online pig muscular gig isaac flexing and you read like the fuckin comments and its home various comments are all these gag is going to get be calm and like she get out my dick got hard we'll just look at that i can't wait to shoot on his back you know all what i would do to him i wish i had an older man like him to molest me and it's all like unanimous perverts like everyone on the fucking thing they're all just discussed i was on wicked pervert site similar in adult site that had comments underneath the actual porn which is it shows i think those weird is degeneration thing without a new thing i've never seen it lacks a year on year stream
yeah but uh cream is normal but on a porn side of your i hate the way she sucks i hate that's what he said there was just one it was this asian girl and she was type right in the comments underneath was why would you be using typewriter right now and it's to me maybe just an aging but it's like just be happier porn degeneration generation guys that used to go through the we're guys trash yes to have to get to sears catalog we've talked about this many times now we're sponsored be happy that we have porn in in you really going to come screen name by the way we have to mention that we're sponsored now sponsored by the flashlight so you that but all right they're giving hair on its where who is now i use this answer banana use the butt hole one and i would not pull out the vagina one out of respect the one that i have used i like how it's autographed important but the vagina one's autograph too really from yeah i think that
christopher reeves that's chris varies bow than i expected so that supplies i've wanted by it if you're masturbator and i know you are you got to pick one of those up it's fucking fantastic the the greatest tool ever invented for dudes because for years dudes had nothing now we have this it's golden fifteen percent off on joe's website oh yeah you click on a link and get some get some money for it get some one off and you got to figure if we just go through that i've never used one but anything else you might use up is gonna probably call it shaping anyone in my ear i mean munich geller hotspots here there are these that's probably a safer thing out that not the less open source you're putting on young year yet junk by not irritating this can't look at you look i think in france
that's the practical in i don't know i don't know what you're fucking to put sores all over your dick but yes i agree with you well i'm just saying some t shirts are softer than others do you fuck your t shirts is that what you do no but i'm saying some just what the fuck you saying says don't set fuck you t shirts now that i don't have a fire tat basically everything i'll fuck my bed fuck pillows fucks so fuck shampoo i tried a difference in shop shampoo my dick got irritated one because i fucked this this soap that i didn't know it was mrs rogan soap and it was like for if you have acne and just on my dick and beat off with it and then my dick of red and sore and i was like what the fuck was that shampoo and then i just thought it was shampoo my they just say through conditioning if if i smell i i start to get a little bit aroused you're running water have loved all exacted by small part but i think conditioners away better way to go and i didn't shampoo no bubbles we blow
elbows that soap it's kind of oily that's the best soap to fuck i think dude don't have to worry about any of that shit when they're gay they just bang each other i bet gay guys hardly even jerk off they're just so busy banging each other they could just get sex all the time i think so it's if you see it at the gym were you like they're all frank you just come here and to look and then you just the theme room i used to work out a twenty four fitness and the guy who's the manager there was this really cool guy and he was assigned to the west hollywood store the west hollywood twenty four fitness because he had to clean it up quote unquote cause they were having problems there because dudes were fucking there and dudes were like fuck on over the place they would they would fuck in the sauna and they would have to go in there and hose down the sauna he said it was disgusting you would go in there it would smell like ass and there would be loads everywhere these guys would just bang each other there and shoot loads all over the fuckin sauna go in there literally at the second biological violet go hazard and he had a clean all this stuff
and how's everything city always cod deeds bang it in their in i know that some guys do i do gay gems art like day discos they might as well be night clubs that's where they take each other up when i was when i was to do a news radio i used to work out a gold jim which is call which was a total gay disco i mean that's why was just a bunch of gay dues turnip each other and they would so you like when you didn't need a spot that would come over they can stand it down with your balls above your head and they would like be really aggressive like the way i stared at you and looked at you because they were used to getting a dick sucked and they did that that's their spot that's where they go man they're fucking franks they don't have to worry about babies you know what was life like before the pill could you imagine if we grew up in what was the pill the fifties is that what it was could you imagine we grew up when there was no pill we don't know what that's like micro firms on the pill she was sixteen
right when i was sixteen or seventeen she was sixteen she was on the pill i don't know what it's like to be in an error when there was no pill could you imagine how much more careful you had to be how tricky you're not being or world guys that or are they were like kind i do now when you just whatever out of a hundred and out of a hundred people guess how many per year at a hundred people get pregnant even whether on the pill come any eighty three percent per hour protected so it's whenever that's it yeah it's only a three percent or seventeen percent so seventeen out of a hundred early allows us up land parent of the other day they really said that you know why because i show you that out of that seven percent of those seventy percent are lying horse that's why i totally on the bill yeah you're on the bill you should have now now maybe i haven't you baby as a grander than they asked us my mrs rogan gave birth
on wednesday we have a new baby and don't read the chat you gonna get distracted son saying do not pay attention urinary these already lost they don't want teresa china conversation i conversation tell you some of our old not to try in you don't have apparently some random random in listen to random dude you gave a voice to some douchbag some asshole out there look the beautiful thing about the internet i always say is that anyone can say anything they all are free to say whatever they want but the horrible thing about the internet is it any one could say everything right so whatever they want so douche bag get to talk too so you don't know what kind of group you're getting and you can't read the negative shit ninety nine percent of its gonna be cool people questions but that one percent you can't respond there i didn't you reinforcing why should he behavior you know those facts to get a life those fuckin dummy they want to come and talk shit and want to do it on twitter they want to do it on myspace and facebook there but i had to learn the hard way that you're supposed to ignore them
or joke about it is hard because you seem like fuck you but that's not even a person man that's a sad little blip of energy of negative energy i had this fucking dude i should read it because it's that interesting i had this fucking dude that sent me a message about the woman hu i had an argument with this feminist woman wants ah now on myspace and not a myspace or they put it up on you too kevin kevin booth filmed it it was behind a comic stores lydia lunch and i try to be nice there but she got super agro with me and really doshi and since she's gonna burn me with her cigarette so i just started fucking ribbing her apart and it's on youtube and this guy sent me this fucking skating i mean the chick is cunt okay there's no way i would ever yell at a woman unless that woman's a woman's economy mean it has to get to a dirty horrible if that's my manager i'm fucking firing them i swear to god
well i got a yes it is i'm doing my podcast wow do right now it's wednesday today's wednesday now go ahead tuesday tuesday that's a real comic i don't even know what fucking day it is that it's always them i mean while they we getting mad because we were talking about him in the flesh light when i'm talk about them anymore anyway to this fuckin guy sent me this this email back if i mean the first emily sent me was like really fucked up like just such a douche bag that woman you bullied on you to know little this just listen this this woman is an ass but joe broken looks like a typical dude would be on jersey shore pushing and punching bullying woman physically at an polio told not to touch my face she touched my face and pushed her hand away from
while do you're so tough man what a funny faggot you are talk about mommy issues christ how do you live each day being such a miserable bitch tip low file pig only other short ugly miserable potheads with it and i'll think all this fucking energy and this keeps going on and on and on and on the edge a piece of trash instead of telling us that you wish the president would take mushroom trips try living life without smoking joints you pothead burnout fucking dumb dumb so this is obviously someone who's been to my show because i say the president should take mushrooms so that in my ax so this is obviously probably some hackler probably some due to got jacked at one of the shows and then i sent him some message i think i sent him something like i said that this is why i said if that's what you got out of the video then you deserve to be the type of person that writes such a retarded email you have
create your own reality and it sucks to be you kisses i said to him i don't why did it because i shouldn't have because when you do that what since as you create a fuckin battle for no reason this fuckin guy rights there thing that's like paragraphs long you're the tip jersey shore hostile short dude you'd like to believe you're different because you move to plastic land with the fake but it just goes on and on and on and it's so fuckin sad and i look at stuff like that i see here's a guy that obviously not a happy person there's no way successful michael jordan not sit around you stream in our written letters like this are right on youtube or whatever these are michael jordan yeah i would say is that there's no winners out there doing donald traps that get not fucking myspace not bad for bad sobs you guys are faggots you know it's over is some fucking zero but the amount
of hate that someone would generate and all of it comes from them not being happy with who they are all of it or if they want to put out that much energy you could have dislike for someone you could disagree with someone but if you're you spill out so much vile and it's about something that had nothing to do with you what you are doing is finding someone who you don't like to compare yourself to their got something that makes you uncomfortable whether its success or looks or money or what the fuck it is you know they're doing something you don't that you wish you were doing you know they are attention you wish you were getting that's all it is so you have to treat them instead of like human beings you have treat them like these little aberrations little blips of energy and you gotta learn from so when you see some douche bag they like chimes in says something fucked up the way you have to look at these
and it's almost like these sad little creatures like trapped in like a jail of their own choosing so don't respond despite the ida guy just got unlike what are we talking about here the we various i got an email from a few days ago that literally said i just saw your special comedy central you are one of those guys where are your parents must have told you you are funny even though you weren't in and then he goes on to say you know you you suck your not funny you maybe good weather guy blah blah so then i saw that that's actually kind of funny you might maybe make a weather guy i'm not saying like is a comic but i believe it if you set a storm front was coming in but then i was like at first i got mad and wanted to respond the guy and then i went you know how many emails do i get from people that were like that was the greatest show ever and i don't even think about responding exactly that and what's that guy's focus like there's not been one
like you said one ban that i've hated so much that i went to their website logged in its had i just want to let you never coming to see you no artists no writer no comic do nothing i've never i've never done that to anybody on line that i if i didn't like there's stuff it like it now i might a common on twitter or other movie socked you know but but writing someone like some fuckin horrible scathing evil email i thought that's only in your nose a second you reply to their heart would like zero and then it's on this guy that i told you that i sent that email back he wrote me fucking paragraph that douchebag probably spent out where's that meanwhile is probably unemployed now lie fucking so twelve years old and he pees himself still and he has a computer and he's making fun of all of us that's the problem i hate like i got a fight with somebody the other day i like back and forth and then i went to his myspace page and it was like a kid like he had pulled man man is one of his favorite like god i'm even wasting time on this kid
what possible so is possible that the little teenagers but the more important thing is that what it is is it's not a person in you think it's a person because you know in real life if someone did that to you it would cause like a real situation you'd be like wow there's like some negative energy going back and forth between me and this person but you're not even making physical contact with that person so you got to look and how to not accept it like when she comes in and it's like anonymous shit on the internet you got to learn how to not accept that it's a difficult thing right yeah it's tricky this is probably the trickiest thing about being in the quote unquote public eye you know it is dealing with all the losers all the fuckin failures all this shitty human beings they just want to dump on people and its easier dump on people you do that all day than you never have to look at what's going on with your own life you're like i've had a busy day shore looking wrote test ban that i hate and five comics i can't stand well this guy i wanted you to preach to which is even more hilarious because it's just
filled with people shitting on common asshole so i guess he just does this constellation fuck with people and i thought i was its fascinating man it's fastening that there's people like that that for sure are fuckin losers not a single one of these guys is successful is doing they want to be doing because if they were they would be concentrating on that i don't have enough energy out there to concentrate on some other shit i don't any energy to go out there and try to bring someone down for no reason i don't have it i don't have it to give and if you have it to give for sure you're missing something in your life abso fucking loot late jesus you mustn't judge us up on christians on the twitter lately also this brings me back to work before i went we went gay guys gay guys big bear to r kelly okay you fucking have to see this r kelly clip i got to show you this video because this is the best piece of unintentional comedy i've ever been a witness to it's r kelly and it
a video called real talk and i watched it i'm not bullshitting you man i watched it fucking ten times yesterday i'm going to find on your twitter yep here it is can i play it here how is the volume thing work here i'll do the volume thing on this computer okay here we go it's on my twitter you're not even on my twitter page now you are i had to meet the other thing oh my god you're fucking ridiculous scroll down right right there jesus christ can you fucking read so go down all the way man no it's too damn you freaked out
i want something that you yesterday but some guy in coal we want something about trying to sell you practice up i think it's a great song tsar kelly who is my favorite unintentional black comedian real shake you argue which a girl you gotta so what do you know you too on youtube real talk behind the scenes is what it's called on youtube of course we got the stoves jumping off here it is our kelly have any argument witness check any turned it into a song of tourists with no the conversation with him in his check they love real talk
calm down a bit you know what girl i'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's the black real thing i'm trying to establish establish right meanwhile while he's talking so much greater intrigue tell me did you say there were other this is although what the other we'll tell me this had a vaccine
i love how there's no singing during that point because he's got this intelligent point to make do with doors and other guys he's got a fucking rock solid excuse i don't know why you fuck with all them shells no man having assholes anyway go get your hair tools and nail to another day yeah you ask for smile i had to do with it he was
you can't nobody no money see what your problem is you're always running off at the mouth telling you girl your mother fucking is that they don't make a ship and watch them out to me
this is my favorite part of what you you're not gonna let me read you probably anyway this is big job again set it up here like a fake fight afterwards he sing in through a ghetto argument with his girl any singing like with passion and i wish you would bye among other funding
real everybody listening next we play with your girl you have to use the word we'll talk into the conversation my god it's good he likes you liked appear on girls which is funny thinking is that true though yes decent you did not see the and did he not get acquitted you don't want to assume so i've seen the video best you best watch him there were real he got his jacket and gotta be dazzled at the mall did you see that he had like those little jewels he put on cell phones all over his i don't know why you're hanging out with all them no man having assholes anyway we'll talk i want to see him and easy e deep kiss what are you talking about he's fucking awesome he's he is a dude out there working for you okay that guy is providing you on entertainment he you don't look
you might not like him you might think he's stupid but that was goddamn entertaining for all the wrong reasons but that was goddamn entertained that easily could have been a sketch on the chapel show that was awesome for the wrong reason yeah i like his water thought though when the girls like you're out with girls he didn't buy some yesterday right you're happy then right the way i did not love the fuckin ponds with his no museums did she say there were other guys there did she say there were other guys i wish you would permit co so like you said it was gonna shooter than bail that worldwide bad's gonna happen to you what they eat don't make a shit that's a song that's genius you know you could sailors area this morning but listen that guy is giving massive amounts of unintentional comedy
yeah he's always been great i love him hilarious fucking hilarious trapped in the closet was one of the best ever because it was like what seven parts or something like that now twenty four ports to fucking dvd dude i gotta go we did it it might be a two fucking dvd set i wanna watch that in three d i watch this all day yesterday i just kept watch over and over and over again i literally wash it ten times that's real talk genius genius shit back to britney murphy husband died is that ridiculous crazy figure that guy would be out there jogging i mean was it a heart attack or drugs drugs yeah that's what they're saying i mean it ain't weak grass juice i killed that fat fuck
i mean look at them everybody was wondering what you want want the protein drink or do you have to look at it you see a guy who is that fucking fat with a movie star haughty for a wife and she's got a problem well that's where fucking trucks are coming from they're coming from the fat guys i mean it doesn't take share log homes to figure that one out that's pretty simple man that's a big problem out here prescription drugs are huge problem in hollywood and prescription drugs are the most the one that's the one that doesn't get talked talked about everybody's on pills can't tell you how any time someone has offered me oxys people have offered me like it ends people offered me xanax is just offering them like you want some gum you want to bike in you want a prescription drugs you want some oxys fucking oxys man people give it out heroin anyone's giving out any next m let me know that's stomach acid medication
it's scary dude it's scary bringing human beings into this world knowing that it's just going to get more and more fucking crazy so baby roget number two is just born the other day and this is the craziest part of the birth process the birth process is totally normal you know it's all great and everything baby comes out beautiful everything's healthy everyone's happy but when a check gives birth baby in the bay becomes ever pussy tears her taint it tears though the line between the bottle on the verge asia and have to sort out he did love so the baby comes out ok and the doctors the baby i cut the cord everything's happy we'll take the baby to baby goes to the incubator where they have to work it up clean it up chance so while this is happening the doktor start stitching ok what life is holding the baby ok my wife's holding the baby cheese happy but she had an epidural so she's numb from the waist down so she's got to
epidural she's not feeling shit and she's happy in smiley and she's hold the baby meanwhile her legs or up in the stirrups and her vagina is a fucking seen from hell razor this dude is just hooks and pulling and hooks and pulling just fishhooks just digging into me and it's not like one or two times he's fucking gettin in there he want tighten that shit up for me and he pay extra for a couple more stitches no he's doing that's like an old joke between men you know doctor is at twenty but a couple extra stitches in that way but no dude he is just digging in but it was so surreal watching the scene because and on one hand here's my wife with this new baby super excited in there's so much love in the air and the baby's cry and and nuts
up with her and there's tears coming down her face and she's so happy and this huge smile and then three feet below that is a fucking horror movie i mean they're just hook hook hook yeah dude and then she has to wear a diaper because you know it's all its blood in the whole area of mass she's got these crazy grannie panties on with this big giant super maxipad diaper type thing stuffed i or pussy are we doing this now we're gonna sit back i feel very more comfortable now doing it out of perspective but you're supposed to everything i've read not that i would know but you're supposed to never look right you say that i love that haunt you below the curtain didn't bother me at all really the first time no i mean it's it's natural man it's part of like it is citizens come up by themselves they had to get gather that might be that what's dad who passes out cause even you telling that story widely
back and like real shit here am i pass out from his lean on a lot of trauma you know i thought about that the other day like you know firemen or a policeman they ve seen way more trauma that way you know they they see a lot more crazy shit than i do but compared to the average person i mean every week i see somebody can already be act fuckin senseless like like almost every week i'm so oblivious to that like when i see like fights break out clubs or something i mean i always get i might want to get the fuck out of here but i never get like like i see i see this all the time like i'm always seeing broken bones and giant fucking face gases and blood everywhere so i'm watching this with this clinical disconnect while this guy is digging fucking hooks it's like pinhead what was the one with the skin was stretched back that's what it's like just
yeah and he's going in there and he had to change hooks at one time to get a bigger hook to go deeper because they do levels because the whole paint is like ripped apart and the fucking baby's got my head big fucking head baby and it just rips just tears open yeah dude it's extreme shit and then after the baby's out they pull this placenta bag out and the placenta bag this is where the baby you know this is the sad
for the baby was living in society to eat now they pull it out do they pull it out and it's like it's like an alien it's like some alien creatures like an octopus was living in anymore you girls push eric yeah they took it up very strange here yeah they fry it with eggs they fry rather like eggs i keep doing that which is probably very nor bananas were later bananas or something i couldn't stop saying that i sometimes get a word my had like that is fuckin bananas and it just gets stock and it got stuck for like the whole to our partners so anyway my advice to you is don't look below the curtain you should look you should look you should know what the fuck is going on got to be able to handle it as a human as a man well they're something like that you ever prepared for you know so i probably probably it
all day long will you you have stepdaughter you ever thought about you alive wanted to mrs mckenna making a real one we never not cried obviously you know so you have tried you have never known but you ve been trying to have a baby this whole time you will never let five years now you want i don't know but then i'm like well i travel all the time and then i do you're not going to out everything i do are you no i don't i don't think i travel one you do are you one of getting your boss er i got got that thing whatever the number is it's like twenty two million is average like i had like i was in the sixty s or seventy s so you're good yeah so she's got a broken some or i'm never home that i think is then i watch like there have you're fucked it thirty zero new bow welcome to marriage ladies and gentlemen no argument about therefore girlfriend three times a day i think like man
james bond i married yeah would you stop putting your so horrified higher on the road i give me somebody wednesday to sunday some months are less than others but i'm on the roll on the road this is real talk how the fuck you sent me to get you pregnant with i'm in mississippi how much do you think i two already sperm it's like did you want to freeze your loads i'm thinking lately if everything adds up why not just free sperm get your shit snipped and then not have to worry what if you're fucking sperm gets all thought out one day or a fuck what have you put it in two separate locations like mom's fridge in ohio and then some science lab in california okay
yes you do moms fridge i'd rather free sense he gonna make some retard baby son bob's fridge was shitty it wasn't totally frozen you're gonna have some half right i kid he smells like otter pops i used to have a joke about that there was a that was trying to take their it was called this coming project they were trying to hey guys dna from the shroud of turn in others of turn is supposed to be the cloth covered jesus and they're gonna take dna from the shroud of turn and do a clone of jesus they're going to make a clone and and give birth is and that would be the messiah they would bring us back to life or technology and i was like that's all well and good the technology by cloning has not been perfected yet mean when they made dolly the sheep dolly's fucking dead you know and there's a lot of things that they make they come out all fucked up and they die like what if they made a retarded jesus like that was the joke it's like he just came back and they gave birth to him but he had down syndrome
would they still follow him he just wants to go bowling and the joke the joke was like he's the messiah dude he's fucking shit in his pants is drill or is it might be a test might be a test ukraine a joke yeah instead of turning water into wine he would turn like catch it and a cooking an ethical rules oliver cookies make sure nobody else eat some is the messiah instead of crime does everybody be wearing helmets man there was really if they really knew for sure that they had something that had the blood of christ on it and they knew that there was some technology i guarantee there's been some wackos that would be convinced that would be the way that jesus what a becoming back as like there are supposed do it and that is how you know it's through technology that the christ manifests itself in this in this dimension and this this time and er there's a lot of people that would believe that this i'm following some guys twitter right now some creation is my fucking god their arguments are scary
i'm just listen to them talk about these two i'm falling due to think the earth is ten thousand years old and again arguments all day with people their entire day is consisted of consist of giving the people about the origins of the earth about how old earth is and about how complex cells are and how these things would be impossible to create just random i love people like that that's when you jump on and yeah jesus was an operating system and you just fuck with them you know go crazy and just stroll with him and act like you're being serious the off you are i don't act like i'm being serious i don't i don't troll them either most time i just read it i like i like listening to people when they have the real arguments and really angry i really go back and forth each other about shit you dont have a god clue about like you're telling me that the human eyes too complex so that's why there's a guy like really real that's your argument what a naughty ass fuckin argument that it's too complicated from
stupid ass i don't understand how it works so there must be a god meanwhile they just created the first artificial cell if you did you re about that they made a synthetic sell they made the very first synthetic sell out is the beginning of us creating life which is what supposedly god did look if human beings evolve if we're we're right now if we live and manage not to blow ourselves up or hit peak oil or whatever and a hundred million years from now we're still here how much more fucking advanced are we gonna be than we are right now i mean what we can do right now we can make an artificial cell right now if we can put satellites into orbit transmit data wirelessly across the entire planet instantly work insane innovations are we gonna have a million years now ten million years a hundred million will bid undistorted from god's will be able to create our own universes will be able to literally create are
dimensions our own universes they'll be scientists that figure out ways to break boundaries to this world and into the next fuckin wormholes space and time all that shit is gonna happen you know all that it is on the way our hundred percent so how the fuck do you know that that's not what theirs there's a lot of scientists that absolutely believed that the universe that we live in may very well be just some sort of model that's being run by some super intelligent being that we literally we are we are wrong inside like some sort of of to scientists love smoking pot the most scientists do dude carl sagan was a huge pot head why would you not be a pothead if you're a scientist scientists are supposed to be thinking around sitting around thinking about cool shit right right why would you not want behind when you you're thinking about cool shit if you watch of space documentary space documentary on my favorite things to watch i love watch its base documents because it is they just put it in perspective like
sometimes have to watch him two or three times to really get what they're saying because it so fucked up but when you wash over there not nearly as interesting when you watch him high and weed we have tried out we'd if you do it on smoking pot watches fake documentaries you know calls i used to smoke weed every fucking day carl sagan's thing was he would smoke pot and that's where we get his ideas i mean he wrote it out my signature on the broken board is all carl sagan is that you yeah my problem though is watching these documentaries you just had me watch a documentary yeah collapse glass and my promote these documentaries is it just takes one little thing for me to just get thrown off the tracks and believe in belief you know but you don't have to believe in documentary so i don't i don't believe most of documentaries i i listen to or watch what i do is i just try to see if this guy guys wrong about a lot of shit does he points
because i know a lot of people who are wrong about a lot of shit but every now and then they'll say something like okay here's a perfect example alice jones alice jones is not right all the time he's just not some of the stuff that he believes is fucking crazy and i don't understand it i listen to him and i see the connections that he's making when he says that he's got proof and we have the documents and alex is a friend of mine and i love the guy but i listen to his connections and i'm like this is illogical this you want to come to this conclusion that's how you found it but every now and then killed more than every now and then a lot he'll say shit that i know is right i mean it's just facts yet but the problem is that these people are using how they present these facts quote unquote is almost like a used car salesman trying to sell huge you know jelly beans
it's like this guy last night he was saying things now we go to use car sales in nineteen forty yeah tell being a little boy cartels we trying to fuck you i got to see well we ain't selling you a car buddy i was having a problem with the documentary i watched last night because he was saying a lot of things i'm like that really true like how he said i was kind of it he said that where does that mean it's not or not researched it last night and he actually does known for that guy for saying things like like a news like a news report had something on about saith oil he would say even fox news has reported on it you know and how he's saying it it gives you the impression that they were right about what they reported on but they're not they just reported on it but you says it so fast can like a used car salesman that you're kind of just subconsciously going although the news reported on you know he's a very
compelling speaker and what we're talking about is the michael rupert movie and it's called collapse and what it's all about it's about peak oil and it's all about how the world is to fall apart because they're gonna run out of oil and we'll have no way to get goods to people and groceries and shit and there'd be no way to get around we can't manufacture anything because everything's made with plastic and another thing like i said i was thinkin this the whole time one watching the dogma denny said something i blatantly knew he was lying on and on no blatantly new lately new neighbours but lately left i put that word in front of his nor that worth so he said he said the cell phone companies have been slipping on maintenance of their towers an all time high and that their all the cellphone towers towers getting maintenance and nobody say that yes in a pretty soon we are going to have even worse cellphone covers i know for a fact that right now eighty and tv right
and everything are on so on top of their game when it comes to cell phone towers and maintenance and repairs and building their systems up at the highest they've ever been in and i have an app on my iphone called at amp t mark the spot every time i get a i'll call or have problems with my service it automatically geo tax the location at your at and it sends its eighty anti so they have it on their files that they know where the towers reap towers are doing that i have been doing that ever since came out the other day they sent me an email to our text message out the blue blue good just just so you know been getting all your your and thank you because of your reports reports decided to build a new new by your house it will be in effect in the next two months thank thank you for continuing to use this application it really helps us out a lot and so right there that i can tell you right now that's something didn't do five years ago on eighty aunties network you know i was having bad service there five years ago i'm screwed i know for a fact that statement alone that that he made in that documentary was bullshit bullshit so that means everything
say he's doing when he's crying and patting his dog and acting like some kind of baggot i know i can't i can't believe anything that guy says well it gets even better here's where it gets better first of all why are you at if you pay your dog first of all she lost a sexual harassment suit one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars and whatever back wages so i wanted to be like one hundred and twenty seven thousand dollars from some woman who was working for him he made a sexual advance and showed up at the door in his underwear hats files and those like his move real freaked out and she's don't want any part of this so she she got rid of she told them should identify them and he fired her and so and she won she won one hundred twenty five thousand dollar so this guy's you know fuck financially because of that but the type of person that does that that first of all tries to fuck her and put noise at like fifty something years old the santa a twenty year old kid just like taking a wild yeah yeah
it gives me surely advice like maybe she's where predict really sure i gotta be other people that advice of war and you forgive me here from their friends the next day due to fuck you told upon my dick out you fuckin screamed and call the cops like wow you got when the pull you dick out he catches pull it out with everybody crazy fuck we move that my roommates in college always did i never had the guts job he said if the girl one hook up with ya like you're making out here on the thing supporter are we not yet in that she's eagerly to think she's a they're gonna one going to help you or to be so offended and leave but you kind of swing infer that that fifty percent chance you gotta know you taken the chance with the right and you dont do it with a chick is fuckin working for you like this crazy ass well i said about the movie the drove me nuts was him talking about how he just likes to go on long walks with his dogs or do you just talked about the end of fucking civilization
and people are going to starve to death for an hour and a half why are you telling cigarette yeah while you're smoking cigarettes like a retard that's another thing i was going to get into that too look you might be in tell smoke cigarettes but that is a fucking stupid thing to smoking cigarettes is something that everyone with a brain should figure m should get something you're talking about the end of the year and we are talking about the end of a civilization people suffer me what do you get a ride the inside real soon you're in your fifties and your fucking chain smoking while you talk right you're giving this doom and gloom lecture and he's got his dog comes over to him and he's like i just like to go on walks with my dog i'm like this mother fucker it's like a character in a movie he's like a character in a jack london book you know it's like the man who knows about it and all he does is he goes on walks he's not blogging about it anymore
writing he's just preparing for the collapse like so i saw that and i'm like this guy is all doom and gloom and has a vested interest the other thing that i didn't like is how how much pride he took and being right about the past things that fucked up oh we were so right we so nail rama ring this a douche bag a lotta people saw the fuckin housing bubble ass a whole lot of people say there is going to be an economic collapse you not the only person i predicted the fuckin stock market was gonna crash because of an over inflated housing market because of all the fuckin the interest sets out there right now that people can't pay off and crazy fuckin credit card debt and all sorts of bullshit that's go out of wall street and where a lot of people knew that has happened just imagine the shit they cut from that interview you know he was there's probably one time we start taking off his clothes and asking for massages from the camera and stuff there is probably all like a ton of shit that he was saying thanks brian
you're just getting on line i'm just saying that guy was i could just not believe a word that dude was saying there's something about it is something about it and then so i go on i go okay now i have to find out its peak oil a real thing is there some debate of whether peak oil is realtor so i go online and i see this geologist has a peak oil by the way for what people who don't know a peak oil is the point of oil where at the top like the highest amount of oil will ever have in this in this country or in the so once we're at production reaches a pig in a decline rice or there will be less and less oil and they'll get to appoint eventually we will run out of oil and so we can make oil yes what will this guy was saying in the ted talk and tat if you don't know i don't remember what the acronym ted stands for but the tv talks line are all these like super intelligent jean ray what time can be lost on and they call a talking about different different subjects and one of them last night was a guy who's
about oil and the fuckin trillions and trillions of barrels of oil that we have discovered all over the world and that geologists no exactly where it is and that we just have to figure out ways to get it for all is different places some lesson and this guy and he we're not going to run out of oil what we're going to do is eventually we're going to come up with something that can replace oil and his argument was kind of weird too he said the stone age didn't end because we ran out of stones yeah i thought i was kind of okay yeah i see what you're saying but that's fucking dumb course with stones don't power anything stupid you know like you know you know i'm saying like stones using to make ok yeah i see your point but look this a lot more complicated since going on with the hour we require oil for everything for fucking food we require oil for vat the means we require oil for of medicine to appoint but you also you're getting a lot of that from that that that drama queen no no no no no i mean you're going out and ground on you don't need oil o brien do what what the fuck is no power
tractors with what you don't know who you are my backyard planting a sulky you're gonna go you gonna ordered the somewhere i'm gonna get out of pocket don leonardo and travel somewhere you have to take into account shipping you haven't take into account travel you have taken account where does everything you buy come from and what is everything you're buying made out of and the siege by most likely gonna be in some fucking packaging even if it's paper it's gonna have paint on the package that paints gonna be made out of oil all right to a point but what if you have that's a big point dude well no no point right oil is gone today all right no oil left all right i also could just have
go to my mom hey mombi ever see ya have a whole boxes seeds over there and i am ok then we take these seeds in my back yard and plant and highly lucky gonna get your mom's house no high of unanimity on this saying if she live next anything well why don't you ask me what our tyrrell azure no oil son you get what i sent you go you ridiculous aren't gonna jump on a bicycle need i was up on a bicycle in my mom got ohio rights and the way the tyres that advice or five months what makes the tires and unpleasant manner i wouldn't have higher to get my tyres will have blown out in my story there's no more tired lighten the load i used my feet now we're going to take two years about hit some fuckin due to starve to gonna be no food no food amount of joining morality that food with with trucks do at an all time low that's the problem this argument about ethanol that it takes more energy to create that one report out of five thousand reports well you didn't research that yes i did i went on last night the wikipedia because i
ursus following votes do what you really it's complain that with up to five a m last night researching this dumb ass from this stupid movie might even be mindful that you think michael rupert is dumb ass united nations being evicted by in his own apartment i know retards out are not getting evicted from their own apartment and this guy i'm supposed to believe and is getting evicted basis during the we this movie you was getting evicted oh really you're getting evicted wow my sister can't even get evicted and she makes like five bucks a day yeah but he's not making any money trying to warn the world is out there is a large following the guys second dvd he's making doesn't have a website isn't he going nationwide in giving speeches at holiday ends were in i mean doesn't have like big conferences that he does speak he's doing them now because of the movie the movie's getting a lot of attack but before that he did that too yeah
but nobody is paying attention to back there i think brian as an oil company and i just park i just ask and bronze somebody does not like a guy look like and aiming to check dank for sure for short regretting out of three men he wife what did you say it is what it has ever read it out our country rather down at either when i read it out what cia for doing in drugs and yet and was an lapd officer i busted the seat michael rupert any bus of the cia delivering drugs to the poor neighborhoods which is fuckin absolutely true which is in other thing like we're talking about like the alex jones thing would like the olives jones thing where there's a guy who's right about some shit you know any right about that he was right about the cia delivering drugs into these bad neighborhoods and selling drugs i mean that was like a rumor back then but that shit has been proven now i mean there's there's so many different cases
where so many different like bury seals and mina arkansas that's a good one there's people who are pilots that have come clean about it there's the cia drug plane crash and mexico last year with four tons of cocaine in it i mean it's it's it's a lot of fuckin money man it's a lot of money and if their will to go places and kill people you don't think they're willing to sell drugs that's ridiculous the people that are in charge of the government the people at the highest levels of government have access to all sorts of shit that we doubt and the fact that there's billions and billions of dollars to be made rugs and that that drugs those drugs gonna get sold anyway you know you why why why would they sound trees is right about that he's deftly right about that but this peak oil thing man he's all doom and gloom and the end of the world and no one noticed that's going to possibly replace it can you fucking say that can you say that what that guy that ted conference was talking about that we used to use would but then we got use contact
algeria we read that you saw the time yes so that would now that used to be a way for us to have energy now that's gone in that we move to this right and then when we learned from that and then we move on to the next day so we were saying that what natural gas in some other type of stuff this problem is man we make so much shit with oil it's fucking insane everything in this room is may with oil your goddamn compute may with oil given everything that was made with oil isn't there a way to make it now with oil for the most part i don't know i think there has to be there has to be like well yes making with oil is the best way by the u can also make it with with corn will maybe but mean think about all the oil that's coming out in the gulf right now seventy five thousand a day i don't know how many gallons is that how many of seventy five thousand barrels
fuckin a sane and saint amounts whatever the fuck this hundred thousand moon who the fuck knows so seventy five two hundred thousand gowns a day or barrels a day is is leaking out into into the gulf paper sent you can make plastic with hemp yeah you can opposed to think too down my twitter about a hemp car from nineteen forty one with from henry ford a but i don't know if you can make all the shape the same shit you can make with oil my point is that the amount of oil its common out just in that one area in the gulf is insane think about how long it would take you to grow that much hemp to make oil out of it i mean it's i fucking incredible me you would have to have a farm the size of the moon you know you know mean i mean this shit is just pouring out into the ocean there's not that enough weed to do that in the whole world not yet not how you gonna grow it you have to have skyscrapers sizes of like a hundred football feels a hundred stories high each is floors hydroponics
in detroit they're thinking about doing that urban farming there's so many areas of detroit that there's no and yet what that's just dirt i'm talkin about hydroponic buildings yeah i'm talkin about gigantic fuckin buildings and even that would not be enough weed the mean think about the oil is coming out the ground right now that's that's an incredible amount of oil when you go and you drive down the pc age she those offshore oil rigs and you think about how many of them must be out there in the world how may differ rigs when you take that drive from my last year to get to the airport drive you see those oil rigs you don't think about those until some it happens and you go how many of those are out there how many of them are in texas what is those little things to do anything like you i anything says the scientists like one little raggedy one that looked like an old farmer may put up there a long time ago that stuff when is how michael rupert discredit you for discrediting him this full
does it even know that those things pump out thousands of barrels of gallons of oil a day said joe i gotta emo from somebody from china that wanted us to talk about the fox con suicides and infused anything about that the fox con suicides there's a huge company in china that makes caught fox khan and they make everything my keyboard mice they make a lot like ipods iphones they're the ones that put together all the computers and have just super cheap help and fox can't think it when i want to say it's five hundred thousand employees work at it and they all live there and they just work non stop i mean they're talking they wake up work and go to bed and i think they only get like eight hours sleep and they go right back to work and anyways in the last year i want to they or with this year alone there is already been levin suicides i think it was and thirty attempted suicides home shall i wonder how many employees of i don't know how many by
it's a lot o employee i don't say five hundred a lot of people trying to kill themselves at work i'm not sure there's been people i want to have a pizza party or something you in on a friday you have that many people tell your company trying to kill themselves maybe maybe friday's casual casual that's a t shirt day about when it comes to like cheap products and cheap electronics i mean there's only one way to get a fucking netbook for seven seven hundred bucks okay and that way is some do has to eat rice out of a little bowl and sleep in a box and he has to wake up to a whip and and and fuck it do it all over again every day of the week and he doesn't get any days off i mean that's the only way to make that shit you can't make that shit with union american guys from detroit you now let's get too much time it's gonna cost too much money one of the reasons why you can get a netbook for six hundred bucks or however i think they're like five hundred bucks right now you can get them for two hundred and ninety nine up really that's incredible yeah but you get a little fucking computer for two hundred and ninety i mean when you get on youtube you're like oh that's why it's two ninety nine yeah but so what
you'd think about what you could get a few hundred for a few hundred hours couple years ago yet that means that as a pretty incredible piece of technology for three hundred bucks i can't believe how much of you can't buy here i was trying to find this company that makes scissors you know those orange handled juncture scissors that everybody has where i can find a u s base company to make these scissors brown couldn't do it i've probably i've pub have given up look googling eight and trying to find scissors manufacture and all this stuff it's like just you and it's just a pair of so go to michael you got to go to arts and crafts those are actually and so i'm going to get on amazon com and i can buy them i want to find a place that will produce them just when i do it yet i mean like differ not purchase this right to the wrong started
but you're talking about people fuckin dying i am i see what you think he's saying he wants to find a manufacturer now but i'm ready and i can't find that here that everyone i found is overseas that's why no one no one has time here to be making scissors we're fucking gonna cut the trees going to war and plugging up that hole in the gulf that pumping out oil we ain't got no time a little foggy scissors with the rounded tips you little pussy so it's crazy about this fox hunting tomorrow that's insane to morrow looked into it so for one thing they only get nine hundred chinese in per month which is about one hundred and thirty dollars what all right and this is working now wait i waited they get a hundred and thirty dollars a year holy shit i don't know about this how did i not how was i not aware while i'm in india in these guys are these guys are employed apple employee
sony employees and all the big guys actually i don't want to say sony does cause no one hundred percent sure no but apple does i know for sure that apple does and guards beating employees like there's all these like stories about this place where they have live video of like the the guards at this place beating up the employees on tape to china is a motherfucker dude yeah china is a motherfucker there's a billion people there and the bottom line about human beings is once you get into really large numbers of us we lose our appreciation for each other i mean it's just that's it that's how it is with rats that's how it is with money if you have a lot of money and you fucking you drop a dollar you don't give a shit about it but you have five dollars to drop a dollar that dollar is important to you and when there's too many goddamn people and you get to a point where there's a billion people there's not enough food and your literally regulating how many children people can have because it so overpopulated
china has a billion people there was a billion people in the entire fucking world up until like a hundred years ago do you know how nutty that is just a couple years ago there was no more than a billion and the whole fuckin world now there in china and who knows what the real number is man and we don't really know what the real number in america is we don't i mean it's how difficult is it to take a census of a billion people by the way the census guy hidin is his car and stocked my house last january a couple weeks ago we're time by the census remember those where how i asked you do i have to do this and right anyways i say i came home the other night and there was this guy outside of my house looking sketchiest fuck and then i just kind of like get in the house get in the house get in the house and then later that night made four hours later i see him sitting in my in his car outside my house my tears that same guy is unlike ok i'm his walk into my car
he gets out of his card looks at me and it gets beckons carcass i got in my car then i came back home he was still there i go in my house he rings my door bell he the census and did you ask him hey why the fuck we were sitting in front of my house all day i did and i just answered his questions and show me as power from god what's a good time they see you ask me my show me a census badge and i was ass ghali's crazy questions about people they lived here april first i've been who lived her ample fearsome i actually no one and then there like are you ok he kind of made me feel like i was in trouble and i wasn't the first is that they have a right to ask the law is the law the law as they have a right to interview and ask questions at their convenience i don't know but he was outside should have to of my appointment so be able to ring your orbow silly i got shit to do dude you want to give you an email address i'll call you pretty freaky i'll give me your email address and i'll call you i think
like head hunters now they had i think in california the response was so bad for the that they actually hired like headhunters by private eye guy to get the i know i know i'd i filled mine out and then i got one month later saying sorry you're part of the section of sense is that we lost can you redo it so they lost like i that one twice or some guy trying to steal my identity and is thought again i think man anything with the government the problem with it is you got a bunch of people for the most part that are working for the government that don't want to be there now that's the fucking problem with any of those jobs this is even worse because and i value the other day i went to saddle ranch on sunset and a valid and i just got in the mail at a parking ticket when day vow took my car they parked it in a red zone gotta take it took the take it off the i got a ticket i would never have known about it and i like like hundred hundred thirty dollars now wow you should go why turns sour answer now we know that values and color
a guy and there like we don't do that so i filed out this whole thing with the state like a like a hey i didn't do this it's one of the most annoying well you're still responsible one of the most annoying and irritating things about la is that you got a valet everywhere i don't like that shit at all have some do just far in your car and why it through georgia give anything come on there's another time all the time on it yeah i don't i would if i can avoid a valet i never keep shit my car anymore i'll have a goddamn thing of gum you're still my go to my god they always take quarters they are like if i have a quarters dimes and nickels i'll go back in and the quarters are gone do you ask them now i stopped even bothering while waiting to camp where the car camps don't they have all we can to steady we'll take it to some ballets and then will soon for stealing stuff what are you a moroccan inside an addition yeah get on at all and then chris bad you whatever his name is can pop up out of the back accident why you have those quarters in your hand oh i was just gonna help a kid actually i did it there's a really cool video of you guys
google nbc los angeles valet car something like that something like that there's there's a really cool report they did busted paper how do you like seven out of ten of them they they took things here it's a show on like i'd watch that show i watch some bait car show the other day where they have this car that be set up to let people steal and then once they steal it they're driving it's all came and then the guy can shut down the car as they drive in and lock the guys in seen that yeah so but do that with valets that'd be awesome how about just have a fucking parking lot you know most the place we to you don't have a fucking valet parking anywhere just la is like lacking in space but everyone drives it's not like new york with their lacking space but it take a cab subway or whatever you now know drives new york very few people do most of people to get around other ways but in la
everybody fuckin dries but there's still the same space problem you can have like an expensive restaurant and a giant parking structure there too much money i avoid places if i can't part my car i just don't go there i don't know it's very rare it has to be like a meeting that i have to go to or half the valet and then i'm like mother fucker i'll park blocks away and walk just so someone doesn't have to sit in my fucking car touch my shit i went in my car once and there was mexican the plan mike you mother fire you found a mexican station he went right i mean i had it on satellite radio he switched to am went right his mexican station is he driving for what the fuck exactly that's a terrible
part about living in la i remember there's a comedy code i used to work out where you'd have the valet and every time i come back i noticed my gas was completely gone and it was in michigan so what the guy would do he'd go well he's just the mc they would sit in my car throughout the whole show and keep warming the heat on and burn up gas and then when the show was over then they give me my car back wow did you say something to him i said something to the owner or whatever then i remember the guy on the place gave me ten bucks and go put your wine and gave me a truck wine it was probably by nineteen years old which your wine the guy can't live long run i have been fighting in your car sitting here don't let em smoking cigarettes yeah probably then and in the other problem is if you have a nice car and you drop your shirt off at a valet look day you now the people at a working in they don't have nice shit you know and you have this i mean there there were
cause they're poor they're either college kids they're trying to get by or their immigrants that are probably illegally you know and they don't have enough money to afford a bmw or whatever the fuck you have mercedes or something like that so again this car they almost feel like like like who the fuck are you to have this you know there's a lot of people that have that attitude a lot of poor people that have that attu why the fuck do you deserve this attitude like i remember it when i was a kid this guy keyed this car and and and and i go why the fuck did you key that car was like a nice car and he goes to gives a fuck guys a rich asshole like the guys are rich asphalt because he has a nice car yeah like what would a weird attitude and that's an attitude a lot of people share there's a big that that metalogy of like you know strew the richer its saga about why you like and then i always think yes through those guys for making goals setting outcomes for themselves getting at i got a guy insult me call me a rich asshole once
but i was driving a fucking but i was driving a fucking suburban it wasn't even like a rich car it was just a white suburban and the guy cut me off and you know and and and somehow another you know he yelled something out the window and i also go fuck yourself biggest folk you u folk and richer like that was his that was a part of his insult that i was rich yeah what about when somebody ran into your car recently and they were like come on you have a lot of money oh yeah yeah i paid for that dude that grows broke but the only reason why i did it is because she was an assistant to someone that i know who's an executive but the fact that she even said that she goes you're not even going to miss it i'm like it's just going to cost like three thousand bucks to fix he didn't have insurance it was a fucking disaster and she was drunk you know i should have got her arrested but i'm like you shouldn't be driving drunk you fucking dumb slut by the way you say things like that to people too by the way when they hit your car you can call them done sluts kickass was one of the best movies i've ever seen told you
god i love that moroccan phenomena little girl i just want to make i live how in the movie the acts even said some like it like i like you went from someone scratches of your car yet it just random movie reviews by brian redban thinking of her i haven't macaroni and cheese and while out of nowhere what kind of tight ship we run over here we stay on if you try to like follow like a mind map of the subjects that we cover on this fucking thing stoners paradise of rambles but i had a guy like that say something about being rich or whatever and i think a lot of people forget me for comic i was doing stand up for what fifteen sixteen years before i made any real money damn insult i did you dumb and solve your success for the game of money that's that's it i'm insult you folk and successful winter at the game of money it's the dumbest salt of all time because that's all it is and you might be success with the game of money cause somebody gave you a bunch of chips you might
born rich or you might have made it yourself but either way what the fuck kind of insult does that and what the fuck is it people when they don't have it and other people do i remember come on we're talking this lady once he was on king live and it was talking this woman who had a some sort of a service where they would give you a map of the stars houses and they would show she would like to as a stalker website that's what it was and she would like they would put up up like this guy is here and this guy's there and you to like find out a soccer is that what it is soccer com don't give her any advertising five that can't anyway she she was all in and he said don't you think that this is kind of dangerous like you're giving stalkers the than the current one balance of all these people and she goes oh well they'll be able to cry them sleeps and piles cry themselves asleep in piles of money that was her response like she didn't feel responsible though she's putting these people in harm's danger because they have money and like she's
it was like a valid thing to say they'll be able to cry themselves to sleep in their piles of money like wow what a weird way of looking at the world yeah now going to put you in danger and deal with the biggest india with it you ve got money oh really and she felt the on did she felt it that's a valid found expression in value you know there's a lot of angry people when it comes to celebrity look at lindsay lohan in all the shit if that happened to anybody else they'd be jody loveliness are you gonna whether they should you know the whole thing shouldn't go to jail she has towards low bracelet you know even though she's lying about it passport you know she's lying about all this shit that's whether man who she was is to go to all these drug and alcohol classes and then eye she missed her court date yeah i know the whole story who guys are fuck here's what my too in the story she's a little kid little kid
the famous enrich little kid and financial other people that ran from the cops drunk driving was caught with cocaine was caught you know kidnapped people yet to people how chicken that body we're in the back seat and wouldn't stop the car and she was out running from the cops they're the ones that are suing and it's all like the heroic you're crazy having charging applications nice thing one you know going to jail at all and that what happened to me i'll be fucking jail still ok is that true or is it because of the prison systems and earlier super overcrowded deal that right you know that their releasing violent prisoner secretly secular there have been like real problems how fortunate is completely simpson in august and insight into this girl's knots be doing any drugs or any alcohol right now it's focuses on probation right i know you got a rather out i'm gonna rather don't rat around a rabbit or about around right last allegedly don't be a rat brian don't
there are locked in a cage i want nothing will you know you know piano alone she's a little kid dude if you're in that situation you'd be one hundred times worse okay i will not talk about her anymore i'm there you go good for you didn't you get famous when she's like fucking sixteen or something like that younger than that she's being that wacky friday or freaky friday where you play to twin you know herself so she it is a disney girl got to be crazy man go from a disney girl to a party slot internationally known party slot jet certain ginger wearing a fuckin i'll call brace so how does she briskly i don't drink that shit they buy the hedge up of wearing ip is clean five times you know and i am just like it was a poor ohio guy as you push clean well there is a couple ways there's either the shit you drink that's like gator that just dilute you were tested you what company there's a few of them
for difficult different companies one was gateway one was i forget your fucking pot super power like you can't even small part on the weekend if you work at gateway jesus fucking christ would you let me enjoy my weekend right i get off friday i've been slinging shitty fuckin computers for pennies all we giving you most of my waking hours and you won't let me have a fucking joint on saturday i can't a movie i can't smoke a joint and go see avatar really that you fucking come what was great is this one place actually sold real urine that that you warm up and
in between your crotch so when you go to do the p thing it stays warm because it's in between your legs and you're actually not your urine and they get your urine like congratulations you pass the test and you're pregnant right you might want to go see at what kind of piss are you gonna yet how do you know it's clean purse he i guess you don't kevin random and got busted with nonhuman urine yeah it was either synthetic urine or you're from a dead person because is no hormones in the urine date they tested as urine like yeah yeah there's no steroids there's no anything else either in here fucker yeah who is this shit it was some synthetic fucking fake ure and take that he got you know i don't know this person is to use the fake p four times they said fake p yeah you can get well i think it depends on the sophistication of the test but some places they test your fucking hair dude hair sample they have shampoo for that do then yep you just put the shampoo
long before your thing and it s also the th s in your hand it does something i know i passes those tests like a motherfucker and he smokes a lot of weed and he passes i mean he's popped in i think i think you got popped in vegas when he beat go me yeah that's what it was turn turn positive and they said that he had so much his system it was got high and then thought he might have done that he says he didn't but you know smoke so much weed though it's probably in a system all the time he probably just forgot to take whatever he does to clean himself out i don't know what you got to do you got a lot of water i know that i will play that game medical he does stuff with rats in cocaine he doesn't get drug tested funny because you're around every day
he raps and cocaine you know there's a big problem with doctors and doctors getting addicted to drugs there's a book called dead doctors don't lie and it's all about how little information doctors know about neuro mission and how little information there given in med school bout nutrition and how many are mine of getting addicted to prescription drugs and other should they can prescribe for themselves fuckin of a lot man in how you think about how many doctors are out there and their buddies with other doctors a script for this up and hook you up put some panics and yes weirds one a day medications i got for my stomach acid was supposed to to be approved by insurance company because it has to get especially approved because one of its things that happens when you take it it makes a test positive for thc what makes you test positive well we should tell you the insurance company that you have to test positive it's your job thus he works for me
that's what i require require a positive pissed test there you know make creative shit and making videos and stuff i don't want them not a little bit brian your sexy businessman jacket and a new look with a ring woman ass i had breakfast with three women less really breakfast we were last night s morning eaten eggs flocking i had six boobs spending the night last night really yes chicks over your house and where they sleep real talk where about you and all your government breakfast this morning we'll talk didn't you have two other pitches over my house sleeping real talk so what's the difference if i find two other ones when i'm out by myself brian what's it like going from zero to hero very nice tell us tell us all about it i don't know did you ever think from the days of living in ohio that you would be
the predicament that europe now go even say what predicament you're now bessie i mean that i was in the same predicaments in ohio not this one sign for for a child the ratio of this they were not judge scale son don't talk about now ok we have to move on ladies gentlemen touchy subject for mama i'm lindsay lohan him he's not least gentlemen if he was he would definitely not rather out you'd have to be a serious cut to be date lindsay lohan and then try to rather out very manator why would you be managing thank you cheated or me and cans what in cans you think you think so a new tattoo supposedly well yeah for new girlfriend as one that about sounder which while you're fucking ass friends we'll talk outside the fan exposes beginner
what's the facts of the eu the but yeah this is a big ufc rampage versus rashad that's gonna be fucking nuts that's a sick fight let's go to the message board to joe rogan dot net the forums and see what i said you were the winner of season one last comic so i fucked up at this guy sumo he corrected me has been so long as in the fact police at this guy this is the kind of questions i get weird motherfuckers is it ignorant to attempt to define the universe in absolutes rather than referring to it as a grand mystery or rather the the effort to try to define or understand the ununderstandable that did have smelly feet yeah for sure right ununderstandable i'm not even going answer it it just that you try to sneak that through
you get you can have a legitimate question and have an understandable and real to real talk talk you can't use and on it in front of a word that that's it doesn't make any sense was unknown but nobody can to find the fucking universe it's ridiculous we we're trying were struggling it's impossible will this doom podcast yeah this is i reject your doom podcast that's what it is it's not the doom podcast movie collapse and i got nervous after watson i thought about it for a while i was thinking about it i was like this is a trick like you can think this way you know and you can get all fuckin flustered freaked out about world oil can just enjoy the share this this is some asshole that's sitting around his house saying that his favorite thing to do is walk his dog on the beach yeah it's not the guy to listen to
price lindsey shits her underwear so much every time i find him in the bathroom and she has stains all over her underwear she's the first girl i've ever you think that's from drugs you're a twelve year old you really are fucking twelve bang lindsey orange shut your mouth me was hotter than in her hand how ridiculous is that that sounds like a ridiculous statement right no she's hot that's pretty easy she's hotter my ankles hot lindsey line rainbow what are you talking about you and by a fucking levy line she's a mass did you and bear no really i'd rather petra likes masses right don't you you are crazy virtues don't you you like they're all fucked up a little bit right well i mean young sure you know like some really fucked up i should fear arch felix of suicide bitches already here no suicide girls
i need you those girls with all those crazy tattoos tits and shit like that let me warn star linsey suicide girls porn star suicide girls here dirty bitches out at a particular does like bombshell magee looking girls by the way that checks on a fucking cover of a magazine i wasn't barnes and nobly today and i'm looking to the magazines and act the magazine right on the fucking is that michel bombshell magee that chick that fact what's his name just jane she is so hard to achieve the cover of a fuckin magazine just for bang in some guys famous that she has done going to be a correspondent on extra yeah i order like she does lake report i'm here with a slut news yeah they hired for real yeah he's have really true
holy shit man wow that's incredible that is really incredible wow that's not a good thing to do man i think they did that before with somebody else i don't think that's a good precedent to set you know this is what i think is going to happen this is my prediction that there's going to be a lot of women who like target really high profile mary guys you know like you know like that they're going to get you some attention and that's a big career move while these tricks that fuck tiger woods if it wasn't so many of them there's like tangled banks so many of us that it's like they're all you can keep track of all right there are a lot like i was tiger woods mistress okay which one were you the one i worked at the bagel hut you know what i mean it's like you
like go it's like to so many from its i'm trying to think about what is another another example that's like that you know of that many yeah it's like they d it way either way it's like there's of them if there was only one chick that stood out like i know a couple names like rachel chatel and jamie and jamie those are the names that i know they are the only ones that i know those girls get through but if there's only one of them that it should be super fucking famous right now like that rachel chatel is pretty famous because she's first of all she's very pretty and she's the one who didn't talk so there's all the speculation that she got pay off and gloria already attorney her attorney and so i think you know i think chicks are looking at this now like really fucking you know nasty bitches are looking at this is like a possible career path i think a lot of them are right well you see like everyone who just got busted with that dude from transform
the guy guys out to fergie no josh here he got a lap dance from some chick remember than she was on you see he got a lap dance with me touch my ass through like corollaries others to giving they're not say anything they want with it further i thought she said she fucked him or he tried or something yeah i thought she said she fucked him i think she said you know who you know anybody can say anything man that's the thing you know a guy could say he fucked you you know unless you have a video tape of all the time you're with him it's like how the hell do you know you know it's impossible you know how you feel about the only government intervention into the bp oil disaster it's telling the people that we're collecting her to put on into hose and to use it to sop up the oil that already come into the marshes that they cannot use it is that true i don't think there's a way to clean up that oil man there they got a real real real big problem
right now the surface of the oil spill is the size of the state of maryland and as others whoops said fuck that's it crazy thing man to have a giant oil slick the size of a state and getting larger mean you could see that from a distance satellite now you know that's that's terrifying that they dont know how to stop i mean it literally might drain the entire fifty million barrels that's in that that thing that that that of oil that's what the estimate is fifty nine liter letter just wanting we were talking about straw the other day do the pressure of that oil coming out you know a mile underwater or however fucking deep it is the pressure of that oil pumping out like that to be able to contain it you have to have some intense fucking machinery you have tat have some really big time high pressure shit and they never plan for this they have no idea how to stop they literally have no idea and when you hear obama talking about it on tv it's hot
hilarious because he's just talking shit he's just saying we're going to clean it up blow it up what's that going to do make more oil so more oil is going to come out man keep in the whole stop those in it i think part of it they don't wanna they don't want to up they don't want to do that because i don't want to destroy all the work so they're trying to figure out how to save as much of the well as they can while figuring out how to stop it but in the meantime they have this giant eco disaster and they're like well we're going to take care of that but the problem with them taking care of that as these people fish there they ve shut down like twenty percent of fishing in the gulf or at least as of a couple days ago might be even worse now but all these people are all fucked up from katrina and that whole area got nailed by you know by those disasters and those just starting to get back on the road to recovery and then this fuckin thing hit do this is gonna be an eco disaster that we have never seen before sometimes it's hard to put things in perspective whether happening you know
this is happening right now and it seems like you know it doesn't seem like a big deal because it's not a fool our ordinary everyday life you know we're going through life and you know it doesn't seem like an hour you know you drive the same story eat the same restaurants but there's a part of the world right that is literally an apocalyptic disaster is going down i mean it is a huge huge fucking reservoir of oil is pumping into the water and it's almost impossible to get it out of their there that's scary shit man it's just not we're not putting it into perspective because it's not a happening to us we're not feeling it you know so it's like it feels almost abstract when we're talking about it you know you see it on the news and it seems tragic but it almost seems abstract because it's not affecting you but if that was affecting us and we were fishermen and we were living in fucking louisiana this is what you would be
suicidal right now you would be going crazy you have no other way to make a living you have kids to feed you have no fucking money in the bank and this shit is going down yeah and things probably weren't that well off for you before it happened either you know for the most part those guys are pretty yeah with all this bailout money all these billions and billions of dollars those fucking come suckers should be paying those fishermen right now this we send in fat checks in the mail right now double they were making before so that they don't have to feel bad because you're you're killing their fuckin business billions of dollars these fox is not that much money and a billion dollars we go a long fucking way to taking care of all these fishermen it's billion dollar industry but do you know this this catastrophe is gonna cost them so much fuckin money they take out the money for the fishermen and for the workers right now for all the fucking
people that rely on tourism all the people mean that's gonna be big dude it's gonna be gigantic and then there's the clean up and then they're gonna have to come up it new tech technology to even clean that shit up she kevin costner had a thing that he might use his was now when he kevin cause i'm getting a lot is around back when he did water world guardian to completely overestimating amateur yet he got into cleaning up the or the oil so he spent twenty five million dollars in fifteen years of research into this filtering system that now the government is like well wait a minute you have that we didn't know that they're gonna use kevin costner what yeah if you google he created something back when you did wild world to help the
and now they're supposed to like annoy the oil be supposed to do something to the oil just show the move on really bad so bad the oil career suicide you want to see in us into a bucket we play the sound track from tin cup how the fuck are they going to separate that water from the oil talking on how they're gonna do it all we're gonna do it there are literally gonna have to invent some new technology in order to just at i can't believe they didn't have up lan real task will be a better than just what i would not at my apartment where you just get a robbed and throat over the spot tat letter angola it's done i'm not going to pay to clean the cap is up what it seems like they should just be drop like the statue of liberty on it or something stop
it's like this where we need opera little where i got a little underwater yeah this is where a superhero is we have to think they know miles underwater right exam like little tiny robots it we can barely controls so talkin about two hundred of thousands of pounds of pressure you know mean that this this this pump you know it pumping out insane amounts of oil and now it's just broken from an explosion and pouring have you seen live feed have you seen alive feed yet it's creepy as fucked cnn had a live feed for a while but it crushed their servers because everybody was just sitting in front of it staring and it's just the oil the slack jaw just pouring well it was interesting because the guy that was the one of the experts it was on cnn was explaining that from that video he showed that it wasn't the five thousand gallons or barrels
oil a day they were estimated was coming out he said it was literally like seventy five to one hundred thousand like and he was being conservative by saying seventy five thousand barrels he's like it's insane amount of oil like this in this ain't five thousand barrels you know it's like a fuckload i like oil fucking awesome when it works not so awesome gets in your ocean you know the flesh light oil that comes with those flesh lights or you can get with this flesh lights it's very good fleshlight oil yeah they have like a hot and cold and just normal and it's good for
even we are not using the flashlight freezing for forsakes rise good for about an hour and then he fucking completely falls apart eyes but it sounds year street you surf the net sums again some questions here son the doom and gloom this is what he people this is a problem and has just like what we're talking about with them with a negative people online people gravitate towards negative stories and you know member were guilty of a talking about this oil spills while the catastrophe than anything but this this this collapse thing because this has been a subject on my message board for the past couple days because the michael rupert documentary and because somebody put a speech that he was giving it in vermont and that was also on the message board and that's been a subject that people have been talking about but that's something that people completely fixate on and i'm totally guilty of it i fixated on it for hours yesterday and it
help me at all and i'm trying to figure out why the fuck people do that why do we get so obsessed with like the unavoidable catastrophes in the unavoidable like that like death meagre sit around all day and freak the fuck out about the fact that eventually your bodies gonna give up and quit and you can move on to the next stage of existence why is it though that that can stop you from enjoying your time that you have i with what the fuck what other people yet its whatever your focus on your brain is is like google and you type in world destruction you're gonna find all the links and videos and everything that has to do with world construction in your brain can only handle so many questions
so many things that you're looking for this is what the deuce on a message board rivalries talk talking about the gulf oil spill and he sent the oil coming out as is under so much pressure that they can't cap it it's eroded the piping three hundred feet below the sea floor and allowed oil to escape out of the sea bed at different spots plus date there might be a volcano under there what the fuck how this works cries and kate who has aids my god congress is gonna prove a four hundred percent increase in the gasoline tax there's more doom i want to shut that i want to read it did you laws now no so far behind on last man you gonna i got eventually catch up but i'm way way behind us did you read anything about what happened not want to hear shit on that was a good hearted sucked
first i was more area it was ok but first i was kind of like upset about it now i kind of like you know what that's probably about as good as it was to get anyway a lot of people were bummed out about the sopranos ending and i don't have a problem with that i didn't think it was the best ending in the world but i didn't i didn't feel like they fucked up i felt like it was just like how do you end such a spectacular show like you got it it was cool he did just ends abruptly and then that's what happened to him well who knows i who knows who knows what it is i open to interpretation did he die you know yeah the best show i think i've ever watched from beginning to end sopranos is number one to me he had morphine change because the very for episode was almost like a comedy you remember his wife came out with the machine gun she saw somebody who was climbing into the window you remember that i don't remember the it was almost like a comedy it's like they were there are playing it like not real planet like like silly but then as the season went on and
more and more serious and then as episodes seasons went on then it you know it became this intense fucking incredible drama but man is there ever been a fucking show that makes you so excited to see it like that i've never been so addicted to a show as a surprise losses like this really yeah i'm there's a couple episodes i didn't like but the whole getting to the end part i loved every second of having i rewatched the whole entire show from beginning to end that is had a new girlfriend you know what but i loved it i watch every episode just like it was the first time and i was like i my my goggles as all these new things now that you know certain things and you watch the episode you live that's crazy it is a very well may show very well even though i gave up on the season bored with it i got bored with it because i felt like this title there like guns point at them and jack was like all nonchalant was fuckin phone man after wild jack seems like you just gave up where there's a whole
jack men what switching once you see the last episode you're you're gonna think different about jack to begin with how dare you in the big from the beginning he was different guy and then they turn them into a job and then after they turned him into a junkie he seemed to be following it in i can't tell you this because this doesn't ruin anything but i was kind of upset that there were certain characters and things that they never did get to and i don't know if it was because of the actual actors or what like mr echo remember guy yeah whatever happened to him you know well he didn't want to come back that's what happened right walt had superpowers you know and they were like a wall so special but then i read that walt was taken off the show because he grew like three times the height in one season and they couldn't do that so they had to take but the show so did they just take off the shown forget the whole plot of him having special powers or was there something i'm not thinking of you what they just dropped it fell again spoken is a problem that is never bring it up ever like this ridiculous i'm after a while
you know i mean the show is gonna remember is so good you know the whole journey was good enough that i'm not gonna hate the ending because the whole show good you know it's while the best shows a deafening whether by as ever and most complicated however on tv most difficult to follow bored with it after the last season is like seem like they were just making shit up all our gone back in time again boom of a nuke and we're going to go back in time like come on really it's that easy to just go back in time and come on it's fuckin foolishness there's the only things i don't like it the beginning was so mysterious and so elaborate and so it felt like so cheap to me that that was how you going to do it you going to she's going to bang on a nuclear bomb and it's going to blow up and i was going to go back in time and she falls hundreds of feet to a well and she survives and has enough strength to bang on this fuckin nuclear weapon and blown up really really taking such a goddamn showing you got to that better our galactica was awesome up to last season
the wire i got bored yeah the wires another one that everybody recommend madman dexter was awesome furtively seasons i got bored with dexter bore with excellent john lift hours though the bad guys like in this chicken a shitty we're naked choke and shelter and also our little doubt related only real getting between last episode was last night there was a good i have watched twenty four since the first season but i was caught up after two hours and saw how could anyone ok sure was a good idea you never ending i checked out those policy shows man the problem of social tell those people choked our chloe why it's all girl really that's where its duncans or government may lay down can i don't know used to live in an age there what does she kept amount duncan ever live with me for months it was so
comparable going right like for when i first moved out here does stand up here when i first moved out here in this agent was trying to get me into the of turn it have seen it was all those guys i didn't go that route the turn of seeing what he was like you you should hang out with jenny graffle i was just talking with a friend of mine about that the alternative scene is mostly in a loud people's eyes like people tried to smart comedy and people who are like you now try to do something that's off the beaten path and there like more nerds right that's how people look at them and our people are proud to be nerds hindu alternative kommeni me while i can't think of more people who do that the pretend they dont know you thing than alternative more people who are into social climbing than alternative comics they're more hollywood grow they're more hollywood than than the regular comics it's hilarious it's like what's the alternate the you're going to be ultra hollywood i i've seen so many comics that alternative comics do that for
and i dont know you did with me you know i'm sorry what's your name like that fake shit that they like like it's a cool thing to not know your name or something like that i've seen that happen with so many people hold funny different vibe you see a lot of those guys very judgmental with they have their notebooks and all their jokes are written down and then they get up and they're like yeah the stuff you do it's just not real like you're totally scripted it out every word you said well even if they don't i don't a fuck fuck your script it out or if your loose and rambling i don't care it's like we're just do whatever is in you you know whatever everybody has different style and some people tell joke jokes and some people you know they're like storytellers in something but just shit talkers you know everyone's got their own style of doing comedy it's just the idea of in all yours being better or you being judged mental because you know or that with some alternative guys don't like people put too much energy and people are too loud people and will lie or whatever yeah it's like
you i like that i like being entertained i like a guy who has a lot of energy cat william subdued i'll i enjoy watching his comedy it's fun to me so like you know these guys that like shit on people for trying too hard it's like while you want to create this weird environment where everyone's like super com and light goes to whole foods you know it's like you're gonna be in some way vibe that you're trying to create with alternative comedy so what's going on with does you see this weekend when it excited fascinating good ones while shit talking on rampage jackson and evans been shit talking each other for fuckin months man that's what's with crazy about it they ve been talkin shit to each other for like almost a year if not more i mean it happened when rampage for keith jardine and that was a long fucking time ago and rashad shod
the octagon after rampage one was talking all kinds of crazy shit and then of course there on the ultimate fighter together for the whole season and they didn't fight after that and lot of fucking shit a lot of shit happened supposed to fight in rampage how to get jaw surgery and then they're supposed to fight after the ultimate fine air but rampage got a an awesome movie role dude is movies about to come out to a tank so it's going to be interesting what do you think it's going to tank it's the fucking aid its a scam do our job i bet you you are fucking wrong you're gonna get how much you want to bet i must allow twenty bucks with twenty i want you to see is a tank right so it has to be number one for how many we can three number one do not tank it just has to not tank is to find out
thank you but i feel it is number one i did i know what's banking means because taking to me is that you're fuckin pussy twenty bucks we're talking about your mouth you have a lot but a man but what do you mean by tat is it by taken what i mean it's like it's gonna get in the second place the first week it's out first place maybe then after that students are taking tanking is it doesn't make the money that it was hundred bucks we cost to make it that's what taking is i don't know about how much money it's going to be i just think that this is such a huge franchise and they're going to fail it i think it's going to rotten tomatoes this can be thirty four percent there's some movies where i look at the move agro who the fuck is looking forward to this like every time is jennifer lopez movie some jam lopez romance film i'm like fucking really who run out going to see that whose all excited there was a point time we're like jennifer lopez's bang banging out a lot of movies there were like big movies movie with some
the one with the prisoners the george clooney movie fuckin good movie man i'm talking about was the kohen brothers movie where the crime i think of it ass you know she wasn't in that one now that movie is for some movie where she played a cop and he was a bad guy oh the cell that's another cool movie that she was in with that fucking crazy dude from the special victims unit csi or whatever hell it is law and order in one for you do you ever see the sell brian
fascinating fucking awesome did you did you get the ufc video game yet no no i have a guy i want to copy it's a pretty bad ass i'm sure i can get a copy comes out today oh does it today's a day or yesterday's the day one of those but it's supposed to be pretty awesome people enjoying the shit out of it it's supposed to get better reviews than the first one i heard don't open that robin jones i saw that sex in the city thing that was another one that's another one that makes me go what is going on with the world the people are loving that movie man chicks are so far it up because he second city eighteen suck how do you know it's got a sock because man they like shit they can't do anything right man look at that didn't yea whose neck and hollywood thoughts one person it really is a date operating on mother fucker when it comes to re taking old like lottery things about iron man iron mats fuckin awesome you're you ve argument doesn't hold up your arguments sucks saying everything area yours but now the marvel
lately has been doing ok they did good on spider man they did ok on x men they did ok on ireland but before that they had captain america they had all these horrible failed attempts but what i'm talking about is like the shit where they're taking my g i joe there taken transformers and are just fuckin taking our childhood memory in shitting on it every single movie they ve been trying to do just fuck how you see the kids get aid is also that karate kids a good example that's gonna do ok but still it's gonna be scarce original i saw a lot browsing macho complaining is why i saw the people when in that he goes to china in his learning come it's called karate is yeah chinese people must be fucking pissed person it's called karate kid there was a big they gave fucking lips to optimist prime why does a robot need lips you are such a nerd you are such a nurse i can't believe you're a grown man you really care about that
speaking i notice that speaking nerds did you see the dude who was graduating from colombia and is in his speech he he hacked patton oswalt joke in the video gotta onto the engine i still want to patent oswald's joke in speech a comic oh no no that's another one this is a new story this one came out today panels walls joke about star trek like other physics professor put a star trek seem to a question it was basically speed and velocity equation in our and the joke was that he used check off fires the phases and somewhat came up to him said sula fires aphasia check after the thought of it i have been informed that sue you know so the question didn't make sense and if you go in there but i wear this guy
use the exact joke i just fucked up that joke royally but this guy used the exact joke in his commencement speech and it got on youtube and everyone went crazy it's the gawker it's on defamer all these different websites and patton oswalt wrote about it on his blog it's on the front page of his blog he went after the dude wait so a guy did it during his commitments that's in using a paid for it was giving us and he's doing errors hacked it who cares well paid for that he's just doing a speech well patent cared well that's retarded is it retorted writing it's fuckin retired what you think you should have done patent had been honored like oh that's that's cool i don't think he should have cared the guy was just doing a speech out of school he wasn't getting paid he wasn't at these people didn't come out to see him get you know they didn't pay money this is not his career he was giving a speech when he graduated right but if that guy is plagiarizing and his graduation speech what the
fuck did he do throughout his college career if he is so brazen that he's is willing to plagiarize a famous comedian on video and he knows that shit is going to get on the internet did everybody is it all over the internet it's a big deal you know what i love about it though that everyone's com the men see at it yeah that's funny that's i've read that on three different places what i like is i heard an interview recently of mencia and he said the first time he ever got on stage he was so nervous that he went to the store and bought a joke book and took jokes from it and ripped out the ages the first time we went on stage o each item of the mark manpower tat a lot of them have carried out like were disappointing eyes as it's like that's great your first time on stage aegis admitted that you stole from a joke well a time job says about when you buy the joke don't don't you those jokes that's right not stealing unless you stole the joke book and then talked about it
yeah i think we said more enough about the fucking dude it's amazing people still go to see that guy though you have to be completely retarded or not have an internet connection i mean those are the only possibilities why you'd want to go see that guy comedy is a funny thing man it's like you know it's like all art forms kind of reflect where your head's at the kind of shit that you're into i was getting tattooed the other day and while i was getting tattooed the fucking guy in the ex booth was listening to this was one of those metal saw as i do that that annoying fuckin screaming angry metal that sounds exactly the same that just reflects where your fucking head is at no one who's like at peace and is like in a good place in our life listens to that shit you know and no one who's got their shit together would think the carlson is funny in
you have to be a mess if there to be something wrong with the way your mind works it has to work really poorly it has to be really low low watt but there's a lot of really low people people out there man oh that's funny that's what's interesting when you see certain things that certain people are into certain books that people are into and shit you're like goddamn really certain tv shows all that fuck tv show is awesome and you're like really okay i guess it is for you you know that's a hard thing to accept that i guess it is for you especially as a comic don't you find yourself like angry like no it fucking sucks you almost want to argue the opinion you by it doesn't sucked for them like fucking twilight a billion screaming warranty chicks can't be wrong you know you could think it sucks all day but they love that stupid fuckin movie look at cars to one of the worst pixar movies ever was cars in my opinion in their doing a sequel to adjust because they knew how many people like nascar how many mid american people
how much merchandise they can sell it based on that movie do you know nascar is the number one spectator sport in the country how crazy is that watching cars go run it so you can sit there all day and go that's the dumbest port ever or whatever it is and then or go wow or there's a lot of people that are into it i'm just not how often do you go on the road and you in the south and they bring up nascar like when you do morning radio you ve had aben fucking nuts start talking about drivers and with a guy like that is better jackets yeah oh yeah i'm a fucking their own narrow all tribute who the hell is that we want we all know we as aggressor superstar down there like there's a whole different world in the south of people are not aware of like music wise like country music there's fuckin smash hit country music songs that you will never hear you will go through
entire life and you'll never hear them me while they are loved by fifty sixty million people in this country than on its on india is not fuckin foreign music from bangladesh or breast or something like that now this shit is going on in alabama kentucky in mississippi and they fuckin love that music remember that time we went to that place in north carolina went to that bar next door we're in raleigh north carolina we're at that charlie good knights and right next door there's a bar and the bar was playing music that they were all singing along at all right or yeah there's it's a nice about that club that bar has an identity problem because i went in there and it would play country music and then it would go from country music to j and then the equal amount people would like start dancing you know what that's for why you're into two really different days that's for the girls that like the fuck black guys you gotta mix it up yeah
i mean it was weird you're there you get a lot of the cell and then you hear a lot like yeah well you got to bring the black guys in because a lot of girls like to fuck black guys and the black guys just not going to tolerate that country music all day so if you want to bring in those little chubby white girls you gotta bring in some rap music for him to track some black eyes to make them mix more interesting i remember i was at that particular place when i was there and i went to shake the door guy's hand and we kind of did the roman shake by just how our hands you know where you grabbed the thing he had i'll never forget this huge i don't know if it was a cast or a plastic thing that went from his wrist probably down to here and he had him on both sides for fighting so you couldn't tell his shirt on but who is the guy the door guy so this was all like cash shielded so if if you got in a fight with somebody really an extra yeah because did you break down because no i got him both sides or
it goes now and it was those things like the gladiators were from here to here you know like a codpiece how weird is that for arm protection yeah yeah to forms on a very sensitive area it's a weird thing you want to put the baby is a wing chung man yeah i think that's right that's why i must have that you think that you are blocking i guess that's a there's only spotted shoots you said that some roadhouse stuff yeah well that place was like roadhouse right next door that place remember that one girl that was super awesome at riding that mechanical bull like how many cowboy decks is that check sucked a thousand you ever tried that yeah porthos ray i have video you doing it my tlc or yeah never done it yeah not easy it's hard it's hard to hang on to that thing so stupid to fucking dumb way to get hurt
ride a bull a dumb way to get hurt but riding a bull that's a fake bull that's even fucking stupid you know it's like because they could easily make a fake bull that could fucking throw you off and kill you so it's like you know they just know a fake bowl just strong enough you main idea behind a hang on for a little that was scary thing than we ever did on fear factor was we have people right bulls there was the one time where else like what the fuck are we doing that the one time where i literally did not want to do the stunts and all we did was like we just roll the dice we we said okay let's let's let's hope we don't crap out here let's hope we don't fuck up and somebody doesn't want to get paralyzed we took these people that had never written bowls in their life and we threw them on these giant fuckin murderous rampaging beasts and throw the on there and the guy was like don't worry these are training bulls and i was like what the fuck are you talking that's a bullet baldos knows a training bull he does
it is a training boy that they that that thinking like all these are the bulls they train the rodeo guys on their not as aggressive like the fuck are you talking about i'm there looking at the cage these things in the cage and it's fuckin pouncing by a fourth and slammed into the bar we took this girl on she wade ninety pounds ignoble should she was tiny the most you like ninety eight ok she's like five feet tall she's a tiny little girl he gets on this bull and that thing bucks and she goes for lying i mean instantly goes flying and as she's flying the bull kicks at her and the bulls hook just misses her face i just missed her face it would have caved her fucking monkey house like no question about it this poor little girl she fell and landed on actually got knocked out and you know she came she was conscious but she was like out of breath and couldn't breath got knocked out of her and she was all i go okay
okay and they had to take care of her and the paramedics had to check her out make sure she was fine and she's just lucky that she was fine just plain fucking lucky those i got to see those both my wife was on a show years ago that nobody saw called america's stuffs job i saw and what they did is every week they did something else so she was on the deadliest catch boat and had to do that stuff and then she was an oil rigor and had to go do that stuff then the log stuff and she had a thing where one of the episodes she was a bullfighter so she was the clown that got in in an actual rodeo was the thing and so when the bull bucked the guy she would have to run up and it was these weren't faked it wasn't like four things to run up in in literally smack the ball to get the ball to chaser cause she was getting on the show was getting grated on how well she made the cub safe and you blew out or need is in turn a lot of dirt is pretty scary far gap just to be on tv yeah
did it you know she make off that show no but you did some cool to at the grave digger diggers star fuck me out fucking knee out for free when i like i said it i pretty good is one of those show she had to do that fishing thing that's his looks d ya that yes we devise catch you gotta disrupt your honor i sought and drove the ice road atlas scariest i've always had a really and that all that should make any money in these countries reach it a reality wait all money every month i think she i think she got a step in every week five hundred bucks cash down is it not not do that to you there usually like that on television over a course of like this ain't like fear you're only a couple days now she was on for how long she was gone for two months she did like nine episodes so one episode a week probably dude what if she got killed by a bull oh you should see all the self daywhat if she got killed
you have felt here how did you get him do you can imagine about it did all scare the fuck out of me when i see that running with the bulls in spain there was a show once where they wanted me to go running with the bulls i forget what it was but that was one of the things they wanted me to do on the show and i was like what are you taking about the like the people run both all time you just gotta make sure you get ahead like this his in beer soaked fuckin streets people were have you ever watched videos fuck you so you want me to run with the bulls like what's an ancient tradition it's one of the dumbest ancient traditions ever the fact that people still do that today is almost one of the weirdest fucking statements about human beings you take a bunch of rampaging monstrous beast animals they've ever seen the the videos dudes getting to they just get somewhere through the air like they're nothing
these things are so fucking strong and they stop them and gore em i mean people get fucked up they get really really fucked up by these things man the fact that people are still doing now you see the video the matador lest we forget the the horn through his face through his mouth and through is at the bottom of his chin and now through his mouth is fuckin horn is poor out of his mouth that's the image so i saw that and i said well i've seen one before that was more fucked up there was one that were a guy's getting it through the stomach and the bulls like lifting him through the air it's like his lower abdomen like right above his dick it's the most because the look of pain on his face it just he knows he's fucked i mean he's just done and so i started looking at google search to try to find that image and i found so many fucking amid all you guys do i would you know this year's most of its the running what the balls though most of the images came from running at the wall so many gasket factor by animals
you went to the la zoo yeah man that was the worst zoo i've ever been to and one of the just fucking creepy zoos are so many cages they look like the animal died and they just never bought a new animal to put in their so it's just like like empty and yours you trying to find the simple animal and you're like witnessing this cages not even been touched for five years and in the nurses i didn't see one line an instant will you blazed now not just went out of sobering i went through the whole thing like two hours it was so fast it was the
you ever the only cool thing was it's not as bad as the one i told you about in massachusetts there was one that they shut down it was horrible they had this little tiny ass cage for this lion and line would just walk around in circles looking depressed walk around circles the coolest part was when they fed the chimpanzees and there was like six of them they were just all lined up sitting next to each other itching their butts and they're all eating they all grabbed what is cucumbers and they all just had like four cucumbers and one was acting like it was smoking it was just hilarious because they were just like humans and they all just but they're not sitting like on it was called the chimpanzee penthouse or the eight pint house and it's like they were just sitting like on stairwells so there's just all these monkeys sitting on stairwell with eating cucumbers and it was just the oddest thing ever that's zoo is fucking weird it's very strange that we feel like it's okay for us to take intelligent animals just lock them up so we could stare up that that i don't agree with what that i mean that that zoo i agree with
beyond that can that zoo i don't agree with that zoo as they should be torn down i was i'm used to club where a monkey has acres in acres and acres of just grass in san diego is great shit like that you've been in san diego yeah this one my air zoos in the it's a huge a zoo you know they have a lot of railroad but eleazer get you they'll get you off zoos they see i see a legal i was in colorado the zoo in this fuckin champ was screaming screaming and agony was champ was a monkey who was in his cage and screaming in agony and you could hear it in his voice he was fuckin tortured he was stuck in this little box by himself and people just walk by stared at him and he was just lose in his mind just screaming it was such a tortured sound i mean who are we really getting that much out of these fuckin guys being locked in this thing it's ok to do this layer pictures audio theirs is one eight that was there was a red ape and he looks so sad yassin orangutan rang a tank and here
so sad his eyes or dislike so depressed but then his son came up to me why was filming and start slamming the window like don't record my dad well doesn't want you staring at him yeah that's gotta suck man they're intelligent i mean they're not nearly as intelligent as people but is it okay to lock up returns you know i mean at what point time if we could prove that a monkey was a smart is a down's syndrome person would be ok to put the downsides person in jail next to the monkey mean how intelligent do they have to be to where we can't lock him up you know said therefore bigfoot everybody thinks bigfoot talk and everything and you know you watch it on monster quest wow i wonder if it's real if it was real he'd be locked up right next to that fucking orange tang you know we would we can understand your language fuck you get in the cave vivid would have a porn video with you think so and kindred kendra any sky britney's guy see that came out of it here but you know what governments tell me about that kindred video you ve heard of it
well yeah hendricks yeah there's a sex tape it came out before hefner raw hafter dated her when she was eighteen so it must have happened like the first two more insidious you ve always with w e c4 well how do you know that he wasn't banger while she was with after rightums while i get how is it that those girls don't offer come exclusively that's ridiculous suppose it is what it was for half an hour though the whole fuckin after thing then poor fuckin girls those poor sad girls it fuck that guy to try to get famous they'd be empty couldn't leave they after nine nine p m that's hilarious that he would still try to keep them from getting fucked by other guys he had to know what was going down do you follow him on twitter no do you wow it's so sad is it s o hefner's twitter is every day just like the u three watched oh yeah toy him just rewards gone with the wind i love movie just rewatch tootsie oh those crazy guys
he just watches old movies all day that's all he does when he's one hundred years old bro how old is he he's deep in his eighties right yeah late it is its imaginary still gotta keep that thing go on you know he's gotta stop trying to keep that then fascinating fuckin life style what point do you just go you know what everyone just get out of the mansion please i want to hang b i guess i've got all you stop doing that those slowly dying yeah so these early the business going right i wasn't doing estates the other day asked died down the street and estates sales where they just kind of open up their house and you just buy anything you want they everything's foresail you get the fuck out it out of the house you just walk in and say i'll give you fifty bucks for that right right right and it's so crazy because they just like the guy died and need to not touch anything so it's like how the guy died that's how it's how look like and it's so crazy to seeing how this person lived you know like like how
dirty this person was and just like how creepy what was it like i guess it would be it's really hard to explain like like as an example like his chair the side of his chair was just like stacks of like tv guide from the last forty years maybe you know and they all had like crossword puzzles there's some depressing motherfuckers out there like we're talking about that michael rupert guy imagine if he be a fly in the wall in his house him hanging out with his dog by the way one of my favorite quotes from that was days when each corzine i take my out to go walking every day and have smile to i was going to bring that up the fucking world is ending according to you you asshole you're out there collecting smiles you see someone people he can make smile who look like member on office space that guy that made the jump to conclusions floormat he looks exactly like that guy jump to conclusions format so
search jump to conclusions floor matt office space and look at the photo and in google's maria whenever the guy's name isn't rupert simba discuss it was the core felt himself coy feldman still live sir accordingly name died the handsome corey fella yeah it's another one childhood stars just like your girl lindsey it's a fucking impossible grind man being famous as a child and then what happens you know with the disney channel now look at all the future of those guys is that that channels cranking out no show images like it's a puppy mill for future danny bond duties a great way to put it it's a puppy mail it really is a puppy million dead right ride live in this to look i think they supposed to live there really yeah because it's right near disney it's right next to the disney and they all live in toluca like the jonas brothers what any of them at you know any of them got it down to a science over there you know how to make fucking stars they take a check
it saying and they just fuckin megan dance as you said armstrong and where promissory next one and noticing whirls mostly of a sister bid as fuck did you see the very of miley cyrus given some forty or guy lap dancing shoes like sixteen dazzling kids you behold gives will be like it my dad's really re cyrus you know god if that was my dora be horrified i would be sick to my stomach sixteen years given a forty year old guy a lap dance he doesn't give a fuck you got a second chance start him i am there's driving around a ferrari probably he used up all that aki breaky heart money but this fucking miley cyrus money hannah montana money ain't going nowhere sun that should've take him to the grave ladies and gentlemen five forty one that means we've been doing this over an hour and a half no it's two hours twenty or fifty minutes that's too much or
that's too much sorry we had to run out in the beginning and grab the microphones but i know that the shit sounds much better with the microphones on correct oh totally yeah so glad you go ahead john heron what do you got going on you want to plug all right nothing gong on but people go to john heffer com whey have all my therefore i would to efforts to have jobs ron j o h h e f f r o and dot com i just went around the bottom winner of last comic standing at yeah twitter it's right there in the little screen there but if you're on itunes you know what the fuck we're talking about if you one of those strictly audio only fellow than if they had itunes and type in john have written surgeon my and you're missing with the beauty of the experience of the use stream podcast because the union progress has facial features yesterday looking around sadly we have fumes and see what so much
their phone right down my girlfriend on a paper dakota fanning anyone else knew what i was talking about what's wrong with your boy so sad man thanks for tool we'll be back next week same time we've got got the sound down now and now that i finally got the last microphone in today that's why we had to take off the beginning i thought i had a third one but i didn't have the the court so now it's all set out we're still trying to figure out what the fuck do behind us the green screen set up is not as easy as i thought because not only do i have to get a try castor but i also have to give fuckin lighting in here and without a banner like just a cool your healing and three d no three day no if i'm going to get a tv it'll just be regular tv but that doesn't make sense because we're we're talking cool if we did it and we had space behind us but see those tvs that i could hook up our computers to it and could just be a huge ass monitor stupid
this took the computer doesn't even have an html out you know that's the thing about lap apples computers as opposed to like pcs and analyses have so many more output is an out you have it doesn't play adapter now you do get a display to each day my adapter on ebay for three dollars or one on the help they have a fuckin outlet built into my goddamn laptop son because its smaller outputs its immediate yet it is wise no video out they does with what video out it's on the sides of many display adapter that thank you get i and many displayed after two hd am i so we will do that and put a bind us then what will we put on it we just have as a second minor behind us here that you want to show a video just drag it took me a light ass we should when we should be talking we should have done nothing but car accidents totally i had only regulates episodes like this week it's going to be the problem with the green screen is we can't have video we have images and that's not as cool you can do video
you can do anything you want to behind is that green screen is just like old technology why not have a huge lcds are so cheap not just have a have a crazy big be one be times hundred times better because if you had a green screen we could have like fucking monsters we if we get a green screen we'll get that stupid clipping where one of us will have like green hair you know and it just looks shitty does it yeah do you think hurrying screwing technologies now i don't good stuff with the green tree you could put clipping apparently from the lighting few lighting greens are pretty tough if you have to have power lighting in here so we'd have to flood ourselves of us could wear a green tint of a shirt today wooed up and we'll be fine would be golden figured out but the sound issue is done the video issues done we change cameras we also the whole uses used to produce sure thing now so we have the option of having these hd cameras broadcaster show so does
next step is going to set up more than one camera because right now we're on this one couch like three monkeys i have it set up so that there's another chair over there so i want my webcam dro no it keeps on going in and out of focus right it's auto focus i wonder if that's a setting i don't think it is fuck alright and gentlemen sometimes we're blurry that's been the show this week five five and that's more than two and a half hours so thank you very much for tuning in we will be back next week same bat time same bat channel tuesday as it were or wednesday as i yelled at my manager and we'll see you mother fuckers very much for tuning in thanks again for everything thanks for the constructive criticism things come to the shows up canada soon the date sometime in june gonna jargon dot net it's all up their next show in in america is in vegas house a blue july second see bitches there was coming this week in tripoli now know no no no shows can thank you
everybody must be an actual remained an hour
Transcript generated on 2020-10-16.