« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #34 - Doug Benson, Brian Redban

2010-08-11 | 🔗
Date: 08-10-2010 The raw audio from the Joe Rogan weekly live USTREAM video show with redban and Doug Benson.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
the european experience is wise it's very good things right clunky assisting ladies and gentlemen thank you turning in my guess is weak the lovely and talented programmes and everybody
cancel everybody before we get started we have to mention that this shows being sponsored by the fleshlight doug benson have you reflect one of these things i have not i heard you and dane cook talking about it last week there awesome man it's really like takes masturbate to a whole new level it seems it's a very embarrassing thing to purchase that has now been used or not just would never do that is that just the those recently not that you would you know necessarily mess it up just by holding it or when i can you don't have to touch anything i mean no one fucked it yeah i wouldn't give you wanted someone's first idea that's wrong right have you but the nineties less light one now like i just fucked when the other day completely different it fucks it it doesn't feel anything like better or worse wayward wayward wayward yes somebody else toma nothing was half run so that effective knock off for a fake flashlight said it was a regular yeah but these are outstanding aids lotteries and see if they can be awesome but now i too we get what you were
last week about how it just doesn't it just doesn't feel right in terms of you feel bad about yourself embarrassed yeah that's it that's what you so heavy that's one thing like i guess you get a little bit of i've had other light arm workout but here take it back right turn my volume up i've had other people talk to me about this thing and it's it's an embarrassing thing they're like why would you want to be represented by this rubber vagina like it keeps coming up we came up with like another person that in about sponsoring the shell they don't want to be connected with the flashlight really so weird to me it's childish it really child now you just get that that many in flashlight to outbid each other until yeah you would have to do something like that but then you never know i mean you know then you show no loyalty to something that you actually believe if you don't believe there's anything wrong with fuckin' this thing and you want to protect
it's like one of those things where people don't want to talk about sexual things because somehow another talking about sexual things is on makes people uncomfortable it's creepy but it's a natural part of life and like most rational people at a certain point i'm just kind of accept that and then you can joke about it oh ok i thought this rubber pussey haha is it good yeah it's great you should try it and then everything is good but for some people it never that place never gets is i think it's dependent after you are with like other men like like who you kind of came up with and if you all talk to each other that way or not you know like i had a lot of fairly prudish friends like we'd say dirty things but we wouldn't admit to any of our own personal activities the way that i've seen other groups of friends do it you know like you see these packs of people that i'll just have a different code about you know whether they felt a prostitute or not is going to come up in one group but it's not going to come up in another holy that's so important so important hanging around the dude we're going to
everything that socio embarrassing ridiculous retarded all of it i want to hear it come up can now that there are that's you must get some good stuff from everyone out from the abbot also like there's that's like really kind of almost a code of stand up these days is just be super honest in and it ends up just to be original you kind of have to talk about some stuff that's that's you honey brutal and out there yeah you can't really do i mean it's almost like the jerry seinfeld route has been said twenty many times and gone down so many roads it's like i don't see anything there it's like if you want to do stand up today it's like you know jerry seinfeld as jerry seinfeld now that styles hilarious at it but i want to see a new one of those well so he sort of teach sort of turned it into another thing like he made it popular it's more fun how to watch actors on a show like the office recreating situations that happen every day there is your one guy just describing it
you know he's seinfeld show just sort of brought to life his comedy and that made him of a funny or guy to me because private that he was a pack of part of a pack of guys that all just did clean cut observation ull humor and i love them all i thought they were really funny like guys like him and larry miller and and you know there's a bunch of am yeah i was lying around the evening at the improv yeah yeah and those guys are on those things all the time that i totally grew up on watching that stuff but then immediately embraced stuff that's more you know like you can you don't have to just observe things you can yeah experience yeah i want to hear like i've really tell me what you did not what everybody does i want to hear a dangerous thought to admit i want to hear you know i want to hear some truth that we can all agree with i want to hear something fuckedup too i don't want to hear the regular shirt i get bored with it i'm tired of it i wanna hear something you know i look forward to
does is sets more than anybody i like strong joke riding though i do too i do too that can get me through it but you're right it's like as soon as it starts to be too much about like best is both right yeah of course yeah i love anyone who's a great joke writer and a good performer that's unbeatable that's like louis ck yeah but you're right about seinfeld like he was he was such a brilliant joke leader and deliver like in his style and then to have that show and then you eu really see where you know kirby enthusiasm really gets your lord david had a began to because once i started sarkozy and that shows like oh ok this guy is like the king of creating like really awkward situations that like literally you watch like some of the shows you find yourself contorting 'cause you like go when you fucking you know it's so good it's he does such a good job of weaving that web you know he's one of my masters is he
and it takes it up a notch to that it's like on hbo so they've been language in those situations can be like that's part of it as he often says you know he often says some he swears in really in front of people something inside you can't do that shit on seinfeld because it had to be all tv appropriate remember there was a water bottle in his pants and a little girl and there was like some implication like people thought that had a hard hard on the little girls african how you set it up
wow yeah if you listed everything that he was guilty of in the seven seasons of that show he's done some pretty horrible things you know like just the worst thing in every situation you know like i forget what he did to some holocaust survivors but it was i'm sure it was awful shows like that is so important show that there's like another level out there you know like i think that's important for stand up so don't you think it's good sometimes to watch somebody else you know somebody really good watch like a bill cosby his prime or something like that just to really get inspired or get you know just really kick it up to another another gear yeah it's always good i think that's a huge part of i hate to give advice to people starting out but one of the things i say to them if they insist on having some is watch as much stand up comedy as you can and unfortunately we get kind of tired of watching it is after we've done it for years and years
it's still important to take kind of check into it every once in awhile because it just up to your game and you know what what everybody else is doing it inspires you know it does something to you makes you excited about performing and i'm most excited about writing after i see like you know i'll see chappelle perform and i just want to go right now just makes me want to create new shitt no let's other great thing about being a stand up is when you have that impulse you could just come up with one great joe could be satisfied like i hate it when i see a great movie and i'm driving home like i'm going to write a god dam screenplay and that two too big of a task to really commit to in that moment of excitement you know
but writing a joke you know you're excited about writing jokes and you write a good ones like ok i did that like one thousand and twenty minutes work and then you're in and sometimes they come in full form will just come to out of the air it's like a little gift it's amazing you were talking about that with dane cook about how awful say something on when the crowd is so great the next sentence after the joke is probably going to get a laugh anyway but gets a huge laugh then you suddenly got a new end of the job yeah i don't know where i right out of the ether yeah that's how most of my you know i do most of my writing on stage just in the sense that you know sometimes i have a joke that's worked out perfectly beginning middle and end but for the most part it's more like this is sort of something i want to try to address and then just see where it goes and have a good joke ready to go right after it if it ends up yeah not not ending up getting anywhere yeah i agree with you i do
do both how high do you get before you go on stage well now people think i'm high whether i'm high or not like they just accused me of it regardless so you know it i can be as high as i want to be which is just you know it's just all comes down to timing if you have to race from the airport you have to race from the airport to the gig you might not be very high but if you're chilling that day and you gotta show at eight hundred o'clock and not much to do in the afternoon other than you know work on your computer and interviews and stuff like that like i get i for interviews now like foreigners yeah me too i love that i love that these are super bake them when they do throw to you you you will talk until they until they stop you
sometimes they don't jump in so you can really get a lot of stuff in i know i find myself like almost like feeling bad for what i'm subjecting the interviewer too sometimes 'cause it will start on some like really innocent question i'll just start going on about the what is the cause of humanity what are we here for like this totally nothing to do with anything we're talking about but in my mind what i'm thinking about is you know the whole vision of the world and where its headed and you now might have been a really simple question yet they need here wrap it up so they could play some more kasza does super bank about the universe it's like all coming to me in these big waves i just need to get it out it is fun to get high and then right you know or sometimes have you ever done this if you ever gotten high and they went oh crap now i'm starting to have ideas and i'm not in the mood to
like i'm not ready to write down ideas right now i want to just get high watch tv but now i got it now i've actually gotta go to work for little bit because the ideas are too good to ignore i go away to hide the other day and one onstage and went to the eye was the john loves comedy club so you think does do a thing like that i was at a play with its the other day i got in his eye line a couple times to see if he knew who i was and he had he had no idea but if you like holy shit you dont benson would i give you as am i i will know i wouldn't i will i love it i mean i did he has been in a lot of great things and any and i have always thought he was a funny guy but he seems you know so sad sack acting that it would be hard to be excited about these are nice guy he realized tat he was like travelin by so if you know how that just like hope it through the airports like you know just want to get it over with just don't want to many people to you now i'm sure like he must have gone through a period of time where there's some catch phrases
people the item or an idea they say you're at other times you and that's that yeah yeah he must he must have used to got that a lot but now i'm sure he doesn't get it so much but why don't you use technology to help with their ideas though 'cause i know that you instead of writing it down just like make a movie do idea because that's right there and you're not going to get there like i finally got the most recent iphone everyday i made the first video that i ever like uploaded on the internet where i just feel myself doing something and then and then send it out there and i'm definitely going to do more of that it should at smart way to cason super fat super smart and fast and it's you know people love content they want you to doing stuff but were you saying about being at the love it's club comedy club we got way too baked this guy gave me a cookie in between the stage joey there were like these little what are those little long banana shaped things called and i'm talking about
daddy s got it now really banana let's closer at that i know what it is now the nigerian people gaudy i could see the banana how do you describe their shape hardship cookie coffee cookie that's it that's the best way to cook it could do cookie canoe this guy i didn't even eat a quarter of one man i didn't he goes there really strong ok just i took a bite one bite forty five minutes later i was on stage and i was aboard an alien spacecraft just talking these people i mean i was barely there a barely fair enough to communicate so high there's no i should have talked in public that's a surreal space when you're on stage there too because the way they have that does does balcony ad free flow leg in there and the balconies or rather close to you but just a pie very shallow but yeah hi and it's it's it's kind of except but also it's different than what we're used to
it's cool i mean it was a fun club you know it's weird about that club is how the bars open and so halfway through the show you're just hearing clunking and blocking and people that happens in a lot of places like put a curtain right could but you know what it ain't that bad like san francisco punchline doesn't have a caribbean that works out ok yeah that's far somehow it adds to the ambience though all that noise as long as people aren't do she it doesn't matter but you are right it does give an opportunity for things to get annoying anytime you have a bar where people can stand and order a drink your fuct or divert attention from the crowd i can't really quick quietly people yeah we'll start hidden on people and talk in the lash i did like where it was standing room show me and joey did the show in memphis and was just last minute booking and it was a young awry club and so were like oh yeah they have bands there funk it well you know i'm sure it'll be set up fine and the guys like he wants to do standing room i usually don't i said ok fine fuckit the whole half the room was standing
half the room was seated and was really strange as i understand austria stage and to your right everyone seated and to your left as a ro literally like everything to your left is like there's like two hundred people just standing and talking yeah of course you doing stand up in a bar and the bear there barely paying attention yeah they're acting like a band is on stitch i used to do that the house of blues too but now after we went to see stanhope and we had a stand and it was horrible it was like after an hour like your fucking back hurts your next thursday kingcup and so i said i'm not going to subject anybody this anyway yeah yeah it is i feel bad for people when they're standing during the show do you ever say no you won't do those shows and just i haven't i haven't really gotten to that position where like you know if that's an option and that's going to get more bodies in the venue gets less bodies in the menu you lose money but it's to me it's better to let him sit you mean
let em said yeah yeah that's the thing is so i'm not as bigotry i'm not such a draw that they're like coming to me begging me to let everybody stand you know i've been on comedians a comedy tours with with patent as well where everybody standing and its of it's amazing how much though put up with like david crossed a standing shows all the time in his shows go on forever and his bans come out and that crowd is is ok with it but i don't think my crowd i think stoners would rather sit down i mean i think there fine ok with it i would i mean if there was an only an opportunity to go see a great comic someone you know even if i wasn't even doing stand up it was she or shall i thought i would stand still for two hours mean how often is guy come to town once a year should i can say and for two hours she wants you but it's not the best feeling best way is to sit around and chill download children you could really enjoy the jokes when you're sitting down relaxing everything is more fun what's the worst is when they have couches in a comedy club
like all here's the vip seats and it's like a couch in the back were they not it can give loud but they also you know just lounging around the right to set the right posture watch comedy unless you're like you know i like standards on yeah you told me right when this deceits her fixed fixes indolence they can move em like it it works in denver i was just going to say that that place is crazy they got those little tiny trays that are smaller than a school desk or an airline tray and you just put they just put their nachos in their drinks on it and they people are in there so tight and it's underground it's really places almost perfect the only thing i would say that i don't like about it is just the you know gets a little rowdy sometimes it gets right the crowd noises like it so it's a win win they're cheering for you in applauding 'cause it's so loud within when they're talking talking amongst themselves when they like you know losing focus that's really loud to denver is produced
they get wildman gal rattle people get wild yet in his letter wild cowboy in colorado in it i think the they'll call the we'd both hit you hard or because of the hour fuck yeah does you're a mile up in the air man gas overthrow workin out up there i've tried trade a lot of things there that i really regret it over to amusement park there one day oh my god and yeah and it's just like it was fun but much more exhausting then going to amuse report should be yeah i can only imagine you're walking up here all this stuff up there i went hiking once and it was like a full on workout like i was breathing heavy sweating inside like this is crazy this is not what you want them out in line to catch you all he even out of breath and shit can you make it up the hill that's a wager rogan thinks that there might be a mountain lie or my dog god i live i live in colorado my dog or email there we saw them outline i've had we in colorado give hidden in a comedy club and i've been
for the data backlash comedy mobility and still there it's kind of like i mean we're talking about the other day we we start hiding we'd have comedy club and stable throwing it away and stuff does we'd ever go bad smart no it doesn't i mean it lose its potency a little bit but you're talking about six months to a year it's fine it's going to brian is going to hit you harder you're going to get stoned reeling yeah so he likes drawing is weed out he takes his we still sound like a radiator to try that shut up cock sake i used to keep in the freezer yeah the icy deactivated it gets moister in it that way i like a dry i like it to burn which make up only a freezer it's supposed to put anything freezer at last longer be like batteries yeah i'm asking you that but we want to put my coffee in the freezer i don't want to do that yeah exactly so weird parents did it
i just saw it did it 'cause people suggested it or somebody said it somewhere and then after a while is like why am i doing this i'm getting through this weed fast enough that i don't need to freeze it for another generation right this edible thing taught me a lesson man i will not eat anybody else to shift and then go on stage it was addicted i'd known and he's i prefer nobody can ever knows lad but you might i store you buying from zero you don't have no trouble at all you told the truth to me is always like just deed half it is in every time i take them up on it it's either much stronger than that implied or weaker than that implied people are never really that that's why think about smoking is the people behind the counter in the dispensary can give you a little bit more specific guidance then you can't with edibles it's always just like yeah it'll hit you are wrong in about an hour somebody's assholes put too much in
amazon refused to let your right now they need amazon reviews every time you take a purple wreck from this store this is what happened this is how much you know and it was a job in colorado one of the local newspapers to be a marijuana critic right and i got the job i signed up for it and they were like are you serious in my fuck yeah i want to write it was right before we had to move but when i was there will i was gonna go to different we'd stores and and great them let somebody else is doing that now they should think they gave that job to somebody i remember reading about it somewhere that that yeah that's something they wanted to do you know i read it on some like slip stone or something some website was was talking about it the earlier when you mentioned doug stand help it was funny a couple days ago i worked at a cost in the guy wrote me a check and i went home i didn't really look at it and i went home and the next morning i looked at it and he'd written the check out to doug stanhope
like it was late and i was tired and doug plays a club so so's funny that he wrote down the wrong name he's like degenerate number two you ever gotten now you're never gonna checks is joe pisca no definite and junior so incredible that's just a flutter they like that like anytime i sign a credit card any kind of credit card slip i always write something like tacos let me ask you this why are you free to change the way you sign your shirts you can't say that your tea is not a big deal but not perfect but i'm saying like saying you have a signature write your signature so supposed to represent how you're right it's grown very unique
we doing it right is it can you just decide i don't like it that way now i'm going to do this with a star in the middle of it and well you're just helping them out 'cause then you could get every letter of the alphabet so they know exactly what your handwriting style looks like it's right but it's your signature you still right in the same word every time what i'm saying is could you just totally change it up yeah that's what i do every time i change my sign a credit card i do here or i hate tacos so what's the point if you're totally changed it up and if that's cool if you're allowed to do that what's the point having a signature then because you have to say did you sign this is this your signature yes i did sign that that's it but then they say what about the one where it's what you're signing that screen thing isn't that kind of at least capturing the image and checking to see if it matches how you know know know know know it's writing issues is printing it on his printing it so you could just on those things you could just type stars in anything when i was a kid i could imitate gene simmons's signature i its eight eight freely because i had like copied over their signatures as a huge kiss fan and you can
so we can do that with you easy especially in those little stupid things that the credit card when you're signing your name but it doesn't look like how you write your name it's not even close who cares you know how i learned it because i girl i used to date would type her name in cursive letters and it took fucking like an extra minute i'm just like that's it you're not doing this anymore this drives me crazy is an extra minute at the cash register so i go i just started signing up for when i started saying like farts and fart face and talk i usually just do tacos and stuff with interesting obsessions look at the taco shaped brad pitt flashlight if you'd like to try that reminded me of something though what i do is i have a signature that i signed for stuff with and then when people ask me to sign stuff i just print my name i always try to say something nice to them so it's at least personalized but they're not we get my signature they're just getting my name written out
just how do you use paranoid about this whole identity theft so you sign things because here wow that's where i mean why why let someone like a gene simmons wouldn't want somebody to be able to do a great job with his signature i would imagine yeah well you should definitely be paranoid about identity theft when it comes to credit cards but i don't really think you should worry about your signature it's too easy to duplicate just carry around a stamp mean you i don't think who who has the kind of technology is there turtles you can't read my signature and i think when you sign something for somebody when they show it to people you know if it has your name on it that's one thing but if you're just signing so anything when somebody looks at it i think it's nice to go oh that doug benson wrote that my signature you can't i don't think that it is handwriting i don't think it's that they're that good at that at recognizing you know sh it i don't think i think you get imitated you can figure out how to write so my signature and you could probably pull it off close enough
to find it somewhere so watch their most eyeing if you watch some film of do it and he saw it they do it you could just imitated will that's where my paranoia sets in is when i'm at the atm the beeping noises at the numbers make that takes the privacy out of the number of someone was just watching the site and recording it right they could figure out the numbers easy and then like you know jack you up the coroner than use your card and take out whatever maximum is what did you see the new thing there's a new app for chase bank that you could actually scan a check front and back and with your iphone and send it and deposits the check and then you just rip up the check well that's too it's too easy what about the using your iphone to check in on the plane like the bar code for ticket can be on your iphone and i just run that yeah my fear is you know your iphone dead then you don't have a ticket
yeah and you're actually iphone's time and especially if you are new one dies so fast you know you make a video and it's your powers have gone yeah yeah you gotta think about that if you're using the camera for sure but it came it's such a great thing to have a good the other day we were in san francisco we ate some chinese food after the show like clock in the morning we're outside and i saw it i watch the whole truck you treated it i watched it and i was like keep us be so high because you give saying is the craziest shit you ever saw i know you're at usc fights every other week so i know you see some crazy shit innovation strippers in the back of a
well sort of weird plastic car we have seen some crazy ship definitely but it was crazy and i was so high yeah yeah i was just like you can't believe it and now to be able to just share it with everybody you were like double rainbow but with fuckin' van full of strippers you're so excited about it was so ridiculous to me it was such a sign of the times to me it was like a scene in a movie right before the meteor hit alien landed somebody audio these units that shows video audio tinges video theirs is big ideas is big clear box that pulls up and theirs dance it's a fish tank of skaggs and their dancing i mean it was the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen in my life it's for the hustler club we had rwanda video to find out that incomparable them over because there they should be sitting while its in motion be dancing why were driving
they just did like a quick they didn't really like 'cause that was what i was waiting for is like them having to get out and get cough we thought that might've happened we took they might be going to jail like maybe it's illegal to do that 'cause it seems so ridiculous but apparently it's not one of the things funny when we're feldman to go and i didn't from their faces i wouldn't i did specifically did it said they were already in place and i now argue about an arrogant affirmative put online you don't need to see your face on chancellor when you're only striven for a we bought it always says shit on the internet forever so i didn't use her face but aims wild film in it the guy goes no filming like we're in the club like bitch you're in front of a chinese restaurant ok you're not at the club if we're at the club and i'm filming you yeah that's a dick move but you just can't come out into the real world in your underwear and i can can't take a picture of that that's crazy well that's like the sexy and you know i keep your eyes appear mr it's like we're come on jesus kronos you know what you're doing right
the game works they only want you to look at they want you to look but now it's there for everybody with my eyes are here goddammit do this here i wonder if the pope mobile for strippers and you don't want us to look at you it's awesome though it was awesome it was just like such a such a just a first of all just a perfect representation of how the san francisco is i wonder then that this goes such a naughty boy that's just at the that like probably no one will complain about that no one now and i'm sure some kid site our lot there it's so liberal there so open minded it's a weird town man i wonder if that law sitting down way turning the coroner if it came from like that back in the old days words like a pickup truck and girls are just fly off the soil not i think you have to have you shoot out on a think of
when a car you have to wear super rain i mean that's alive you get poured over for something else i think i know no i didn't know you were so they can easily see i told you i had no idea i thought it was an add on charter illegal i was in a cab in san francisco and then crusty older lady cabdriver told me she if you ever want to drive around without a seatbelt 'cause she goes i don't like how seatbelts feel i don't like to have it on especially if you got big boobs it must be an annoying thing so she fast it behind her back so that it says so that cause it caused they what the cops look for the glint of the buckle because you haven't got it pulled down you haven't you will have the buckled ass so they see that and then they put they can pull you over for that and then get you out for other shell yo for glint deity allegory over for that and then they are we thought you had your seatbelt often and they can you know always smell marijuana whatever if you get poured over furred not wearing a seatbelt you're a dish any cop dispose your humble police personal
i like wearing it to be honest with you i've been pulled over the other guy i'm doing really and he said he said he would drive window seat belledonne sir put your seat belt on everything you didn't do anything didn't commit taken or anything so divisive alone are ok thank you there might have been a period of time or they were given our warnings before really maybe kicked in or maybe he's just feel like being officer friendly that day and say right save and someone from doing some stupid well yeah there's been a lot of incidents lately of turbulence in planes causing people get hurt really bad cause they dont have their seat belt suddenly the plane just good people have died people have died from that i've got broken yeah i'm busy head myself some fucking heart it could be incredibly violent i've ever been with someone gets pop their ear germans during a flight that's fucked i guess that happens a lot i went on a flight once with a bad cold and it was most excruciating parents tell it was like ice picks in my ear i had some sort of ahead called it was really bad and
when i was in the air like there that i was getting like a leakage in my ear and it was horrible it was it was it was like literally give her here baby scream theirs agreement on planes that's probably what's going on it's a pressure thing you know they probably have some sort of a head cold it's bad yeah it's not it's not a good thing i wouldn't take a sick baby on the plane block that you'd be crazy that's torturing that poor little kid be even sick people regular sick people with the doing getting a tube tube yeah acting with people that's route had to fly home sick recently an when the plane landed my ears wouldn't pop and it was just like and then i knew it was over for awhile you know i was sick for a few days how creepy are colds there's a little bug out there and it's trying to kill you and you have to fight it off and like we're doing a pretty good job holding gonna back with doing a pretty good job immune system kicks in the play we need some much more fuel gonna fight these fuckers off couple days later it gets
control your body and reestablishes itself and here at war like your body like or even a simple cold is your body or what some shit is trying to kill you to do fi when their sick time and they have they the guy's gotta get it ya do at the very close contact in all that's where everything is no anomaly but you know the more important things he'll be weakened he'll be weakened badly you know when a guy fights sick he's a significant disadvantage sick you know i've thought so in stand up comedy sick is ridiculous terrible feeling but doing stand up comedy circus terribly but fake your way through it easier you can get through it you can get through it especially if you tell the people that your second apologize you can get through it yeah now they definitely sympathize with when you admit it you know the guy trying to kick you in the head while you're sick that's the worst feeling in the world that move
can move while you're trying to move out of the way one exploded worse than a guy kicking you in the head is a guy kicking the head while you have a cold but i really kicked her in the head but losing losing a fight losing a martial arts competition fills bad but bombing feels equally bad it may feel just it may feel worse bombing might feel worse 'cause it's all in your mind you don't have any sore muscles to you know also kind of you can't say well i fuckedup that happens sometimes you win sometimes you can't say that 'cause that's not what what happened is you sucked you made a bunch of people listen to some stuff that sucked and you're supposed to feel terrible you like subjected somebody system shady comedy and some shitty poorly planned out so you know you timing was offer whatever it was you fucked up that set and in doing so you you force people to watch some batter teenage post feel terrible about that or they just don't you know there is a case of them does not caring for white for what you
that's possible can we can't please everybody dies honestly and in environments like your tongue about earlier like if there's like a large lao loud bar scene oh yeah well you're gonna have the stuff like that and having had you haven't you had some shows recently where your fans are the biggest problem like like the vague we just want to scream so much and so often that i just you know gets to be a problem it's not the fans assisted the tiny percentage it's not a lot of them but i mean there's super into yuan then they drink too much because they're so excited but most of them they can't control themselves like they just keep yelling stuff it does happen it does happen but most of them are fine most of it isn't a terrible that feeling of like this person who is really a fan fucking bugging me and ruining the show and you can't how'd you you know i don't i don't like the light try to devastate someone that's yelling at you because chances there's something wrong with them is re yelling at you in the first place and i try to just deal with it based on whatever it is
yelling i go they always yell something different like you ve never had a catchphrase either i you know i have a thing people yellow you know so in the course of a show you'll hear a bunch of different things because it's like we want to hear you over to talk about we talk about ufc right talk about you through they'll ask for thing sort of right as was to just disrupting with no general mayhem right like i know we talked about this before the when data had the rich bich and i'm rick james bitch yeah people would just yell that out all the time all the time i totally understood him whether he went insane or not i understand him trying to retract from that there was a bunch of places that i had gone to like the house of blues where they were talking about the surprise shows like the people that work there were talking about how just retarded the audience weren't yellin shit adam cheese yellin amid james bitch cause you're sorry i am fifteen times their excited drunks yeah but they're retarded to yeah it's just they pull it together for life
you know the president or something you know it's a weird thing where it because he's so likeable and approachable larry is they just think they do say stupid shit it's us in its very similar freeburg in our idea that that anyone ever thinks that they are being clever when they all that is that these kind of crazy both feeling of yelling out something i mean it's it's i'm sure must be fun i use that all the time but it's usually something random and stupid and you just showed my friends laughing when they're onstage like no no like you know add an event of some kind you know oh oh yes sir you're far sporting event or something yeah it's fun to just yell out stupid shit you went through disneyland i went to a fight with stanhope and this is a boxing at the new orleans hotel or the oars
what the fuck is he i and you know like small boxing event so there wasn't there was an while people there to fill up the noise and it was the premiums so the premiums were fairly quiet i can now no one really cares about this fight these guys and sent up like hall them down and fuck is destroying confidence nature yelling out the more more and more preposterous shit every second like we total last secular the round fall on your ass and say say you've been punked like just started we had a good when we were at the undercards at the vegas fight we went to because it was that thing we're like the arena wasn't filling up yet quite you know so that so i was just saying that the salmon o brien if we want those
spiders to hear us say something to them to them right now they will hear it they can't not hear what i'm going to yell at them right now it's such weird power to have while people are trying to fight about awesome is i would have picked it up on tv 'cause if you were that close in its that quite if you were yelling i would hear it through my headphones which means it's get to the video that happens in the video you can hear corner man yelling all the time yeah you always hear corner man yelling if you're right near the corner man you know if you're like in the front row or something like that you could probably make an impact on the actual show itself what were we saying i didn't yell anything but there was somebody near us that yelled something that made everybody laugh everybody in our section laughed at some stupid i always do a qa in my shows at the end so to let people yell out let people use yellow questions and talk and just something where the whole much more loose so if they request something early on you say i'll get mad at the end so you guys will talk about whatever you want i'll say it will just wait wait until the end will talk about whatever you want i always do
i do it unless i run out of time i do that pretty much every show but i know i know they want to help those i wonder how things are to drugs violence part of the fund no it's part of a live show that makes it so much more interesting than you know watching a record like this shit is happening right now you clap in if you your clapping and cheer nieces thanks thanks appreciate you just created that thanks you know and you and he is like dogs brother and i use this method like tab system should happening right now it's so much more than just to show you know it's like it's it's a show that live you know so i like that i like people i like a little chaos i just don't like specks somewhere people are behind a fuck up to show yeah energizing yeah and you get that in your tweets at me like i'm coming down to haeckel sometimes it sometimes their kidding but a lot of times are like they do they really have the intent to haeckel later to like it should be based on if something
fox say it sucks or if you know or you know if they mentioned your school you can yell out the name of the team or whatever but to just sit there like not a figure out a way to tackle this guy it's really just it's just poking a bear with a stick essentially it's just like i'm going i want something to happen some guys do it just 'cause they desperately want attention and they truly believe somewhere in their head that because of what they said did you say something really funny and biting and cutting in the whole audience laugh yet still helping they totally tossed it to you and then you slam dunk like hey man i'm just helping out with those fun right and like you just helping me out like what kind of fucking arrogant cut they have a show and think about this i've got all this prepared shares a professional comic i'm just
you know dykehead it's never gotten on stage but i want to help him out i'm going to help him out but they don't even necessarily know that either like that question i get all the time is like do you write this stuff in advance or just get up there and say it will you have a style like i try to do and i know a lot of guys try to do is where everything is sort of conversational almost to the point where you know even prepared bit they flow in in between like sure sideways at the point where it really looks like that's what you're thinking about at the moment or that's what you're talking about for the first time well so you know used though it's pretty extensively like i'll look at mice set list and
you look at a wire on stage while i'm on stage and tell the audience hey would you rather i stand up here and fumble for awhile or do you want to hear the next joke that's what you know like why don't we just have a professional why am i worried about memorization when i could just look at it i'll take it to the next lazy level i have a photo of my clipboard clipboard back there that's where all the new stuff that i'm working on i took a photo of it with my iphone and i stick it in my pocket and then on stage i'll pull up my i photo open it up and stretch out the picture so i could read the notes yeah that's what it's made for i love that sure something i took a picture of recently was just to just to be able to see it later and it was but it was like a document or something i think i feel like a spy with these crazy phones these things getting getting really high when i go onstage definitely helps my set helps me tune into things but the problem is
you get too high especially if you eat something you really will forget what the fuck you're talking about yeah if you don't have if you don't have notes or if you go off on any kind of tangent you could go right into the woods and be lossed yeah i was playing a club this last weekend in atlanta called the laughing skull it's like this tiny room well ok whose they're making that's brands that's right that's fat you or whatever that booth fat booth i gotta remember to do that because i diana i know i look like even fatter it's great what was it over also set the laughing skull and they have this tax rules of comedy up posted up in their green room grown and as you know that's a nice gesture and it's kind of cool a bill hicks took the time to have some rules and most of them are most of them are pretty reasonable even though i don't believe there should be rules and how you stand of comedy that sort of the point of it by grief but when he's dead but he's dead and these brilliant yourself one of his rules was if you get on it
hedjet never go back and finish the joke just keep moving forward it's death to go back and finish the joke i don't think that's necessarily i think it's true at all i think and maybe you and i are two of the people that are out there proving it by going off on tangents quite a bit and but then come back to what you're saying because first of all it's satisfying to the audience that you even remember to go back to it you know like some people watching this thing would have been like when i interrupted you when you're trying to tell the jon lovitz club story they would have been like those students donors never went back to finish status at ory you know that's why i made a point of going to rise i don't want to be the stupid stoner ought to be clear in my own way even though i'm high even on stage yeah there's nothing wrong with going on tangents and coming back it's always around a joke joke has an ending so if you get back to it and finish it now i agree that if you if you stumble on a word in a joke then you have to good night you know that joke that
particular punch lines is fox you can get a laugh out of how you just fucked it yeah and then it's over if you want to continue there's going to be a weird little pause period before you get into the next bit because i've got another lavish there isn't gonna be there is magically taken away even when they know what word you meant or they could play we tell what word you meant it still kills the laugh it's the most amazing psych phones this is a noise fuck what dildo com is calling you think that's just one of the key you think it's just like something you feel this way because your paranoia signatures i think as long as you as long as you're talking about something and it's really what you're thinking about that doesn't matter what you're talking
you can go on any sort of different tangents and bring it back and take a you know when you've gone too far on a tangent you know you know when something's losing them because it's either distasteful distasteful it's it's just so so kind of stoner complicated that they can't follow it 'cause you know i certainly anticipate that most of my audience is going to be high as well you know yeah that's something else have to keep in mind is like you know it's easy for you to sort allows lose each other yeah that's a nice thing in the fridge the nature of people who don't it's nice and their lack of heckling by stoning yes in the rightful if there's any it's so much more like light hearted and it's usually in my case is just like if i stay off the subject a weed they'll just yield you know this year we you know you and i are of one of our too few comedians we have like a really strong like weed based audience there's only a few comedians who everybody knows that
their high all the time and that they acknowledge that we'd is one of the things that shapes their personality is influenced their creativity and their performances and there's not a lot of not a whole lot of dudes connected with weed you really get yourself connected with that movie though well you know before that the marijuana logs was good and there i you know i just like insist even when i was on my commie central or something everything i do have some sort of nod to to weed in it you know if if possible but then i can we create new things went what your new show the way interruption yakking way for that that's coming on companies fill in the fall a couple of months from now and it's you know i've talked to both you guys about it before but it's basically for the listeners and viewers it's like i do a stand up comedy show where i host the show and break stand up comics on but i sit on in a chair right next to them in and basically not really
which authorities i feel like i robbed them i disorder contribute yeah yeah that's why it's called the best interrupted because i am i interrupt but in a war in a friendly way not in a combative way trying to ruin it i'm just trying to be like usually add your own almost like he doesn't watching a comedian on tv what i'd say while they were on or what i tweet about that you're going to encourage heckling intelligent heckling is going to be the new thing you're going to want to participate i do declare search imagine if you did a show where you gave a microphone to the people in the front row and for the most part expected him to laugh but if they wanted to they could leaned forward press a button and they can interrupt you and start talking
i think that always riddle i mean they do that anyway but yeah but with a microphone with a microphone i think a lot of you will be too shy to do something with it it would be like annuity two very very distant poles of reaction they'd either not do anything or they won't shut maybe there without a doubt every show would have one guy who got a laugh and then did no one to let it go and i just kept warez bb like coach or judges are referees and i throw you out and put you in a time out box or some see the dude who says really funny she does not to let it go he's absolutely could and the next one is going to fucking kill it just like the first one is he doesn't even know what the hell he said the first one that was so funny sometimes do you just out of nowhere and you say so the harmonious laughed the holy shit i'm funny than the comedian and then they keep goin that's what you need to do it need to set up microphones for the front row each person only gets to say one thing yep
also we should i think by daily the it'll be amplified and everyone will hear it and you can just say whatever you want just once more comedy referees people at no comedy once you start socking right area around here let's see how and with what you say people who know comedy that's where you get into trouble you know because while i go but nobody email me by a team of people like like that the judges from my last comic standing they have to get ok you're saying like that's what i discovered from last comic standing this season is that take the comedians are pretty competent that they got to be the judges and they often have pretty decent comics be judges but take any three people you and means a third guy just watch but your comics what we would whittle down for america to vote on who knows
would be better or worse or the same kohl who won by the way i was happy about you're happy about philippe yeah he's a yankee may i was on last night oh yeah fully basis shit i love that do what he is he seems to me like the sweetest guy reeling and and you could tell that like some people but you know like obviously people white in the white alternative community community were kind of like what they're kind of surprise by his success on that show by alternative community you know i mean like comedy message boards are not are not really terribly pro philippe but i think he's areas like whether or not you like his his stuff and i and i mostly did i liked a lot of the things you'd say inherent likeability about him there's like a quality to his goofiness no matter how like also when you see him off stage he seems pretty similar it's not that
you're not that much of an act he's not like playing a characterised i've never seem to be anything but a sweetheart is very friendly yes fun always are scooby around it was as one of the things we heard he wanted was like while that's good good for him and i think it's you know i think it's an interesting choice you know like 'cause it really did end up becoming like a battle of the kind of i don't want to say white or middle of the road guys 'cause they were all good acts but wait to see their philippe next level you just got two hundred fifty thousand dollars what's how you how you gonna roy going to be like you know haircut tuxedo when he walks into a comedy club now is top five guys have to go out on tour together for like oh wow really really have to go on a tour right away so so it's sort of like american idol lyon yeah yeah but you know obviously smaller venues but lots of them and i did like ten
it was the year i was on because john reed got the winner got had already scheduled a wedding and honeymoon during that period so they can feel like they do you know they feel right contractually obligating him too on the tour so i was in sixth place so i had to be like the fifth person on the tour for two weeks and the two weeks that i did it everywhere we went the crowds were so it's just people that love last comic standing they loved all of us pretty much equally and not a single person said to me out loud 'cause we'd meet and greet after every show no one said here's the winner where is john reep like no one cared that the number one person wasn't there and that might be different with felipe because i think he's like i think he's really like caught on in a way that like crowds are going to be coming out to see him the other guys but they're going to love all the other guys too and i think they're all going to have a black 'cause it's just so cool to suddenly be playing like really big theaters and you only have to do fifteen minutes hopefully
really terrible part as the travel because you have to ride around together from town to town hopefully embassy nbc uses that contract they have with him good because he be a good show business it hasn't developed a single winner i know have incited nature this year will see like even try to develop the one when i was on news radio and being on hardball before his radio and seeing what it takes to develop a sit com and all the different people that have input and all the differ things that can go wrong and all the different factors that are fucking with the ideas it's a it's an impossible mess it's like just gis it's a saw so much work you know it's it's amazing that ever get made it's amazing so mason he's a good ever gets made because the person who is writing the good stuff is so far removed from the person that's going to pay to have that thing on the air that they probably we have to figure out a way to understand each other because the guy who is going to pay for it his ideas of what convinced be successful because it's been success from the past and they started to eject
we need a black woman on the show and this is what we need we need a love interest and we need this you gotta listen to them because it's been out if they say no then you got no fuckin shell and so you have to write for them and then you have to get good actors and you have a that's it that's why most shows on tv are created by people who have already created other shows yes 'cause it's a process and they learn that process and they get powerful through the successful shows it's just that first thing weeks through and manage to work that really still makes them you know to me makes it worth pursuing you know like i would love to create a tv show but the the idea of the work that goes into it how hard it is to actually get it to go through is a so haunting yeah but the internet now is eventually going to move to a place where that's not going to be necessary or if you really want to create something you're not going to need a big giant fuckin' studio you're not going to need something like that anymore
if you want to create your own show your really could do it all you have to do is just get a bunch of people together get a bunch of cameras and figure out how to fucking shoot it and if you know what you doing and if you can write add script you can make your own thing now and then people are going to be able to see you don't even need to do that you just need iphones nowadays hd phones have used i movie yet it's a movie editor on your iphone you could add music from your mp threes you can do cuts you can put photos in there you can edit the whole movie on there i did i've been doing it all the time on twitch pick it takes like two minutes three minutes to do is it your battery must crusher but yeah i've never even had a problem i don't know wow you never had the battery reached the end of its not from rope now mean its last
a lot longer than the old one and i've haven't always have it plugged in and always in my car or something like this with the new number four on mine it just seems to the battery seems to die even quicker than my last night you should see what services you haven't run did you know if you double click your home button it brings up what programs are running and you could scan through and you'll probably have five hundred programs open right now i bet if you were to check it right hundred five hundred programs phone only once before but it still has those programs you think that's what it is just gotta bunch however even so ever seen that menu how do i right click on double click the home button it should bring up your sub second menu on the bottom did it do only but but by name by our home that allow k not swipe to the left or the right of your obligations i run a bottom i see said the other this is a good price
having a nerd does not five hundred down now what you very sad your phone or something but usually you yeah but i'm saying it still seems to be sapped of its the battery seems to go pretty fast though he saying this because you're running multiple applications yeah you're ever use a computer and you try to make the computer multitask everything gets lay epoch largely have a car charger see you don't have a car charger what do you look like in savage live in the woods with a leaf over your dick you should not have a car that just gains have like three batteries because i definitely not doing the kind of driving you're doing 'cause i live in this live in hollywood so when i'm home i barely i'm eco friendly with my travel schedule 'cause i'm my car is just parked in not running you know four or five days every week when you rollerblade and you have your phone you're right i should have a car charger you're right i'm how could you not a total neanderthal that's ridiculous which is
they say on tv the neanderthals what they loop in when it in some way call someone an asshole because at the mouth looks the same neanderthal asshole he was a different syllables it's now supposed to be i suppose we neanderthal now has its oleander tall so someone calls you a neanderthal thinking there being smart you know they're saying you're an idiot they're not even saying it right it's like when someone writes your dumb and its while you like really am i really that happens a lot ago but also with its awesome part of what i like about twitter though is it less illiterate behavior earlier on twitter because people that aren't good at spelling get aggravated with it oh doubly sure that's not totally true though because i have a bunch searches i like to keep an eye on like different different subjects and topics and
stacks on deck money gang i don't know if you know this soulja boy and all the soldier boy crew they will put the sodmg stacks on deck money gang and they will put the under way as hashtag another little names and their twitter name and it is some of the best riding that's on the internet today really is world that i have nothing to add i don't know anything about what an occasional carbonate he began their money the energy weird like it's like that that guy's a fucking he's a little promotional genius that soulja boy he got to say now number and then put the say now number in his song
and so when he sings the song he's a singing to say now number and assign became his big head they only two million say now friends look at united soldier boy you did i was like soldier boy you had a first start because it puts on these little webcam shows any like nineteen years all these got like fuckin twenty million bucks and he's got a dime all over machetes day sit in front of his i think it's hilarious like this kid is having a good time i was eating there are people who are creating new words i cut them slack in the literacy department because at least there being creative about it i'm talking about on twitter there isn't just stood there isn't just like widespread just constant misspelling that you'd imagine that there would be i think people are getting that i think when i first started writing you know when i first got my first computer mine i wasn't that
you know it's weird it's kind of like going to school again you start learning that you remember things like wow verbs adverbs but i have a simple typo in like people jump all over my dick like i'll get ten like retweets or whatever saying oh kanadi i think he didn't mean comedy comedy you know them and then are right next to each other i think that ship well i've been on a blocking spree lately and it's some people like it some people don't i love it i like blocking idiots yeah i just i just retreat what they wrote and then block next to it and then now it's like people right annoying things just to try to get me to block him 'cause then they'll get there they get a re tweet in other peoples follows you see their name so
don't i dont do it to them now just randomly blocks away says something totally sweet does it say when the lock someone though it doesnt alert anyone else that you block them no no i'm talking about i type the word blocked in front of the retreat i don't just reach we like you know by pressing the button i like cut and paste the whole thing ok see you don't just u retreated in that's when you get to add the word and blog if you like yeah like or somebody asked me to tackle this question that i'll ride out their question than the other in the letter a semi colon ceiling he's doing that you're doing that just like heck that leg promoting heckling and i'll be we're going you're showed a haeckel and trying to get banned blocked off twitter yeah it's true i really creating a whole vicious sooner really you are the problem i totally am that's the problem is clubs clubs will even theatres and rock clubs you can't get him will crowd anymore because there's every place is going to sell booze and every place is going to and the door is an hour early and encourage people to drink and you got some people don't get drunk all the time
so occasions so they get drunk their are terrible yeah hecklers you know that's one of the most that is one of the biggest problems in comedy especially for guys who don't have the kind of act like your loosen and you go on guys have like a real like straightforward act like like a mitch hedberg much hamburgers not it was never you should be hackler he's always my example when people go if you're gonna be a comedian you gotta be able handle hecklers that's that's that's a part of the job is like now there is actually stephen right in an image berger in dozens of people that are great acts do what they weren't about risks ending this shit that the audience says you know i mean like ray a ban fritz doing some brilliant stuff but when people yell shit out and urges ruins or show you know whose back gs here about that groom that killed three people had is waiting harking fucking crazy went off as a cave forty seven whatever the fuck it was couple days ago he shouted
in celebration and accidentally gunned down three of his father and two aunts an injured six kids was it because the bullets come down from the sky nor did he lost control of yours trying to destroy stray from the crowd accident i know you like do one of those like you know shoots is i got married into the air so i got you start like this you know this fucking the guiding everywhere that's why in an he's alive still he's alive was just here as i know i just be like things that i had to do your these kids these poor little like what do you think they unease in star could you imagine watching you they're having a good time celebration hey my brother's get married or sudden what you do the gun pre up everybody's dead i want some really brutal share the other data should not of wives i watch some stonings why y know how they do it because it's much cruel than you think
thought it was you throw a big giant rocks adam across their heads no ass to be smaller than like they have all like baseball size there big takes our extremely paying takes like an hour to kill you why would you lots that too is the yet again on the always because export out that's what that holds for zipper and then the whole underwear if you you know if you're in country were there they're doing shit like that like you got out of their right tell a cat i dont understand that at all i guess i mean even if you don't think you can why aren't you trying and staved is putting things on your head we got off allowance i work out of oil you either if you try to get out of there that's when they throw stones at you they try to change you mean that their trust so crazy the people in that country i mean like and i ran when the elections came through remember those although election corruption and there was just giant protests and vital
it's in the street and they're trying to do something to change it but they can't they can't do shit there fuct they just in a country that run the same way for thousands and thousands of years you know it's got a fake democratic face to it right now but i mean that whole area of the country that whole area the world rather the whole entire middle east is so archaic you know the way they live the way they look at things like there's obviously a modern aspect to where people are trying to evolve and move past it but a lot of the comic laws nor laws about women wearing special clothes and and saying we're in abu dhabi you're not allowed to take if you touch someone's hand you try to shake hands with the left and you can go to jail if you touch someone's head you can go to jail these are all they tell you do not do this not touch a woman do not do this do not do that how do you remember all that shit you don't you that to be really really cool and you know and don't don't ever get loud and rowdy and stupid the only reason why you're allowed to drink over there you can only drink in hotels they don't have bars because in this
mc law units must be drinking alcohol so it's just for the other the the but they don't mess with you though and turn it with big game assignment says where they walk out you go touch my head no because it's a resort area in abu dhabi is a beautiful place and they want you to have fun and have a good time but the bottom line is the real laws that those countries run by are very very different than the laws that were used to over here in united states you know think about it you just go but if you did think about it man you be like fuck like this is this is crazy these people are like they think in live you know if you're going to afghanistan right now that's the way country was run back when alexander the great was around it's the same thing there's one city and the whole outside areas run by warlords i mean that's only place in the world with a rocket like that there's warlords and they control the big giant groups of people guns they have their own posse in harem the male warlords that the leaders they give up position of the town
a ban all the time when they get viagra soldiers given viagra and they can't get their dick hardly markers sixty and they have his harem and their email trying to keep their position as the the top of the food chain but they have to fuck to be able to do that that's still be able to make it so they're giving these dudes viagra and they're giving up the taliban for hesus you know only crap a part of the world like an earnest for twenty five of ever experienced a part of the world like man that's that's how you going to fix that i assure you know how has our country gonna get fixed costs yeah that's you know where the civilised ones and it's a like a mess i was read an article about that but these scientists world look yeah you know the next several one hundred years of mankind and they're like there is no way out there's no way out there like by the they were living by the way we're destroying the environment
there's no way we're going to fix this this is completely off the tracks and out of control it's just established fact among scientists are ignored to say well you know sustainability the long term the know the long term forecast looks we're going to turn it around and we're going to cure global warming won't be anymore problems we don't have any more pollution like no one saying that everyone saying we're just going to keep going until everything breaks yeah just going to go until it stops where the where the new dinosaurs the court is gonna go you guys gonna extinct us somehow i do get your reading we talk much doing here lies in its the drone what's wrong this google exact are but this robot drone that's used to like hover around and film things and its use like for like milton reasons do you know like spy on things and stuff and at first i went by google and you know at least one was bought from this company that's google right now and then so
go just reset no it's one of a top executives just by that cause he likes robots and stuff can you imagine if google started buying a bunch of these drones just to get like mapping in misery and stuff like that well you know there's been people are were were talking this in opie and and of the day people that have gotten fine because they've use google maps to take photos of backyard and found out they had an illegal pool they didn't pull the as for the poor so then they hit with all these fines and all these back taxes that they that's fucking yeah you have to get like approval that like at a garage on in a lot of times people would like hey it's just a small little or add it on now they're using it for that kind of thing too for looking at building approvals and stuff like that to buy at least is now stoning yeah you try to build a garage now we're going to stone you to death but it's a good point it's like people are douche no matter wat whether they have rocks or whether they have the internet people are yeah
just stay just you know they all have their different tools and there levels of intensity but things are pretty promised i couldn't get to my own website when i was in what do you mean it is blocked really what kind of content problems do you have the ninety happy ass i knew there was ready made me wasn't maneuvers ann arbor w somewhere there were somewhere an airport moment i would now be somewhere in the airport work could get to it well i know yours is banned odd they have like companies in public places and wifi i've just been you know things are adult content just so it could be clean internet so they won't be responded even though isn't it well joe hasn't joey diaz's balls jew clam know the real problems were pretty awful things on my space and stuff and all my message board known my message board is filled with porn there's gigs of porn on that thing there's so many porn photographs and like
well we'll sell something now they put it up on the near they attach images people say they'll ask a stupid question and then here like as an offering i'll give you porn i put corn in like in the the stupid message to try to apologize for this dumb question they're asking oh that's awesome i've never gotten that was one of the things that you had to do for me i don't want it either but for long time on my message board you have to post porn if you wanted to be considered a or you can posts when you when you started out yet ten posed to go and find point the alike to posted post it and say in and it proves a couple things one programme not up you can go take some photos of some naked people you're not a christian you know and you know just some person is willing to talk on this message board if you didn't do it in ten posts were banned but just got too stupid it was too much of a everybody was just looking for everybody to go post pose porn so people didn't know they had no idea what the
getting into they just say i'm going on this guy's message board it should be kind of interesting talk to some cool people then everyone like pulls porn shut the phone both poured die in a fire like woe its if twenty our message words all seem to have like that weird thing to em like i went to i've ford edge message boards information about sunroof for my car and i'm like hey does anyone know like this sunroof part here's my model number and they're like hey man you have to earn ten star respects because you haven't posted anything in the mechanics form yet i'm like why i went to a listing every four hundred am i guess i went to a form recently and they wouldn't let me go to a thread 'cause i didn't have more than one hundred posts right but you couldn't go to the thread like i can't even read it right that was your don't collecting knows mustang asshole mr collector louder chinese has the hottest now there reagan my ass we seen how bad that could be
would you have ever known that there's a bunch due to their shovin bottles up there ass if it wasn't for the internet now i had to hear that all the time are not all the time but i read something when i was young about in some magazine they listed the expressions that are used in hospital emergency rooms and for that when that people say bottle return it it's so common apparently happened to my friend steve graham is a doctor and he was an ophthalmologists in residency in miami and he told it was like when you did it didn't see in miami he said he had to work he did a lot of work in the emergency room and he said it was like live a war zone does that cain eightys to allow out of gunshot wounds and stuff like that and he said but they pulled so many things at peoples asses they pulled light bulbs you know those curly like
i am looking light bulbs guy had our stuff the light bulb possess and it broke inside his ass so they had i use a speculum and open his asshole up like a mouth you know like a gaping and then region with tweezers and plucked the brow can glass out of his asshole what does fuck you know how do you get to that point yeah i don't know i don't like i haven't even put the lid from a pin up there probably will fits perfectly to say 'cause it's so slender mean something in the face like you probably wouldn't even know go ahead and give it a try it's like it's like a little girls pinkie flashlight where they sent me this new packages shipped they sent me these little limp dicks these limp rubber dicks where is it and it's over here but i wonder what it was like i emailed do i my contact those rights
me dick i told him to do it don't you remember i'm reading tweets the people arriving as we're doing this those are always ugly really evil easy wants to know so is that couch that comfortable do it she's a stepping feel so creepy that is so such a like now what do they do with these can you imagine if you reach down your own dick felt that like this is big and floppy and it's got a weird
texture to it cold too what do you said dick it's what is for girls is flippers to practice if your dick is ever disco where you're probably going to die does have a button that makes it harder said no there's no but what's the point slapping it's the white glove it's just like it's like if you want to dual somebody slap him with a dick next so you can pretend you're in a sexual relationship with someone attracted to you and you could just swing get frustrated come on what do you want me to do baby i can't even feel horrible so what do you can't get to your own site stuff like that but it's just a part of human anatomy so he really is its overseas so ridiculous comes with this little bottle of white lotion to that you're supposed to just spray it all over it to you know when i was a kid when i was fighting and competing elements i actually thought that sex was a weakness and i was embarrassed i wanted pleasure i thought that pleasure seeing is that pleasure actually is like for weak people
well it certainly don't say anything don't accomplish anything but you really don't accomplish anything but i mean that's like not making a baby you're not accomplishing anything well if you got practicing do not get i mean like average ever masturbated after daniela visas yeah always making a dick and balls beard over there yeah i think everybody does everybody feels like a loser i used to do a joke that even like michael jordan feels like a loser after he jerks off how much will when are you are in your line there and get your own load in your stomach but it's also it's like a thing that once it's out of you it's really like you were really at instant peace with having to do that thing like you not like you know that's the weird part about it to me is just like when it's done you're just so like like it feels great and then it's like oh now i don't feel so i don't feel great about what i did even though it felt great yeah it feels like a nice relief and then you feel like a loser bing
you have less light is a bigger relief but more of you like a loser because when it's all loomed up to attend this fucker you have to lose so when you pull it off like slides off your dick is just feels like the worst decision you've ever made in your life like people walked in as you were sliding off as your dick is landlocked so he walked i'd have to be so drunk to do it that i would for can pass out with it on the excellent walk in with me you say laying there with it you say that but we will fall off when you get off lasted though right yes this falls off the then what about maintenance so you didn't where i started when i start wearing a condom you dont have to clean it up anymore you just tit
take it out of the way the condo right are you seriously telling us that you put a condom on the left side of the question that you don't have to clean it right now i guess yes but it feels more normal aren't you like come on flashlight come on first let me take this off so i can feel you feel i can't feel you flashlight right well it's so creepy just needed that would feel too normal to cry adapt it would feel to normal 'cause i need like some sort of visual of the girl to keep to cry adapter it just starts crying during those people would going yeah the condom on oh my god yeah you need the visual you can't do it like with the lights off yeah you're right you're right i was at target the other day if you're drunk in line and there was a box of magnum condoms and i was in line with my girlfriend and i was like i'm just going to grab this and put it in as a joke 'cause they were like the huge magnum condoms so i went to pick it up in the box had opened it much stolen some magical lou everyone behind me in theirs
it's kind of like oh no i don't even pick that up on the fact that i just put it down she just pretend it didn't happen there was like staring at the ground hit them with condom in the guy the guy behind me gave me this look like you're just going to leave it there and he picked it up and put it in the box and i'm like oh now i feel like an asshole 'cause he's like putting it away for me and my sloppy kid that threw condoms at you at target your sloppy kids three thousand six hundred and twelve year olds young at heart he is is certainly young at heart yeah there's something about hitting something i mean if you did it with a pack of gum gum whatever kind of like i'm sorry i'm sorry let me pick up this gum right but robbers discovers dick this covers yes it wasn't like a little girl and i like winter a little person over mouth and your match is about to put some popcorn now over my warm don't hit me mister i'm always so horrified by the guy from the school ground the dude
this gives a jury faster in that animals in asylum i know the guy the other sell that little journey is often the links that after its or in the face with it is through even though i love of watching that kind of activity in adult films so think about that happening jody functionaries xenia means de wreak have you seen hd it is so weird i saw hd three d you know it's just like fucking so mcchrystal wire random during which it was three d makes everything three deviate simulates i tutti pictures in authority if you want to which you know sometimes its awesome sometimes are watching some show and while this is definitely three d more atmosphere like nowadays three tvs aren't like jumping out at you like dinosaurs just as more an atmosphere adds atoms it's all about us every good joke yet about do have you have a three day channel right you have eighty as early in hd that's already tenant in u verse is about to get a their own threed each
supposedly that's just going to be movies and shows and it's going to be kind of you know the main things like out say two thousand unless you that socrates is alive four rise and is trying to it are they setting themselves up for that when there's verizon google deal with their everyone's pissed off cause it's going to a vial everyone's ideals of networks you i didn't i did some reading on this and i'm not one hundred percent knowing everything but the main thing is all the stuff they're talking about is stuff that they already do but now they just make it more standard standardize you know like going ok t mobile is when a block this in that for it's not going to do that and that's what's going to happen somebody is going to block strike verizon will probably start like we're going to block all torrents and then at aunties like no we're not blocking any of your stuff come to us you know it's going to be another one of those kind of things if that happens i don't think this thing is going to get legs time soon so i don't have to worry about it
that might be it though that might be where america is heading is it might just become one corporation and then we're also function by has already happened by that time we're going it's practically their yeah it's already happened in a way that so disturbing when these big decisions like you i mean the weird thing representing constituents that we're thing you know hiring a representative elected representative is a lot of sh it comes up that people would want to vote on like the bailouts the war a thing thing this nature there's a lot of things that people would like it's going to affect us we'd like to vote on this but you don't get to vote on it you get on a representative that as long as we have that sort of a situation where we agree to such a ridiculous ridiculous rule that's completely ridiculous we're going to represent you once they get into office and think about some of the laws that are in place to protect corporations think about some of the laws that are in place that fuck people over every day they wouldn't be there people are voting for them the demo
let's of california i have decided not to be pro or against prod nineteen to leave sweet they just decide to not take an official stance because it there you're going to lose constituents no matter which side you pick and it's too hard to know how many so why take aside why not just say we don't have an opinion on this issue it's amazing that they've still it's still in a position in twenty ten with what we know today that it's still in a position where it's even debated yeah no it's really seen people they fewer than europe eight advertising than people that backed up all like you know that start without the mormons got way behind that but who's gonna get there always gonna get that hard behind stopping weed i think it's just going to determine that i'm saying there's advertising already from the same people the same groups that did the propagating now doing the weeping where is it working on ebay is china has been on tv like crazy willard when it is acting about we're saying does stuff some bout than you know like kids like the addictive rate of kids you know going into other drugs
did the gateway thing you know and then there's the marijuana years later there was a bad idea some like yours why that's bullshit here's what that's worship the only way you could let's get the same fuckin kid and make him live two lives megan live a life where most we get a commercial make a level level ivory doesn't because you're you're dealing with his kids environment you're dealing with social pressure you didn't actually actually twins yes are really make it its heart it's hard to prove a lot of things but every day or not every day but you know on the internet there is news about marijuana being used for something else every day like that recently there saying now may stave off alzheimer's is like the latest who is the last new breakthrough in what alcohol is doing for people you know what i mean like what advances is alcohol taken to just the five that it we can have it rampantly but weed on the other hand we can't have it all and it's doctors are its useful no
doctors are saying i'll call is useful for anything we have a society that set for when you gonna wanna swab a wound we're part alcohol was an part we'd influence its very interesting its interesting to see those two dynamics coming together because we you know we have a big alcohol culture in this country a big dumb al gore culture that i'm a part of what we all are in alsace fun but the weed part of the culture is changing the way people think about things and a lot of the ideals that we live with today a lot of just basic things that we accept about our culture about society about politics especially we're not going to accept it if people are getting high all the time people are going to change it's going to change the way it's going to become more obvious where the problems are things will be more transparent people say that when you smoke pot it makes you paranoid but no makes you more sensitive and most like you should be a little bit paranoid concerned yeah away aware aware it makes you very aware you know
not in a dangerous way and make you and when you are now in your heart you can't go to san well yeah that's it that's where you went too far bich that supposed to be funny with them vaporizers i was really stoned last night and i stood up too quick off the couch and sometimes when i do that i just get like really light headed i had like lay down on the floor it's usually when i have to pee too it's really weird it's always happened i had to leave that's why you get up because you have to pee replaying some video game on your computer for our aim but i coming down but it was right after i smoked weed and i was like got to the point immediately like i was just really happy and stone and now i'm like oh my god do i call nine one do i get there but it was just me trying to get on light headed for a second do you ever have a hard time just really relaxing and enjoying yourself when you're by yourself you have a hard time like sitting down and just taking it all in and just try to enjoy life just sitting back and
sing everything or you always in a constant state of fokker got this i gotta think about it i got that i got to think about yeah yeah i think about stuff a lot yeah it's hard to like it seems when i get stone think about everything more when i'm not stoned are more like having a watch tv and i this feeling i want to give myself some sort of a chill out vacation where i can just plop down on the couch and just think about nothing and what's up don't seem aren't we start i try cyrus drinking marlowe get a good get a pipe and searching more low and only where robe i'm sorry i battle with that idea like why even bother trying to decipher this fucking crazy world you're here for a short amount of time you should just be enjoying this having as good a time as possible and to stop tweaking about shit yeah you know so i like puppies and kittens playing all fuckin day my brain is going over a billion
different things that could kill humanity of billion different discoveries that we're right on the cusp of a billion different problems we have with republicans and christians and people want to control them behaviour that elections just running on his loop in my brain is constantly and that its supplemented with new fuck and stuff about dark matter and some new ship they just found about each black hole might contain another universe in the black hole with billions of universes or billy of galaxies all with our own black holes with their own universes inside knew how you know what i think of when i hear that i'm just like that's that's great like that doesn't threaten me anyone got watching stoning videos his threat is not united mean is that the vastness of it doesn't scare me we are or freaked me out can really
like it when people are all i go you have us do the existing things isn't like they probably do in the way i haven't done anything to me i'm exactly i may get angry lay ever bother me at all i don't care about you efforts are used to be really into goes into our smoky empty might not into it at all i think it's nonsense i was raped by you i thought i'd be kind of free dad about you efforts by like the fact that that they found you up old tracks in other fields they can't explain i'm like i don't care when i say that i think it's nonsense i don't mean that i think there's no ufos it's very possible that we've been visited by other planets very possible that a certain percentage of all these reports are real so much of it is bullshit yeah so much of is these people that are fucking full of shit and crazy yeah and weird shit happens all the time that can be explained but even the explanation is kind of like well ok if you say so you know lego fraction or whatever we did the show game show in my head and one of the things we did is we got people to admit that they were going to board ufos they thought they were going to be on
it's not they're going to be on new show we had a guy dressed up like as a news anchor quarter in the he gets people in those listen i have a story but the witness to the store justice do you think you could step in here and just say that you have seen a ufo europhile the guys garage sure so he would people to come in and they'd be on the news and just fuck lawyers they go off about they start huge stories about what it look it was silver metallic and they took me on board and they probed me and so we get people to say that it's all details that they learn because that's what people have said before i wish you made more of those shows i really like that it was fun but it was i don't think cbs liked it i think they thought it was a little too edgy and too much potential for lawsuit was there much of a through line in an episode to keep people like uh just different pranks but you know i mean like that could be part of the issue is that it's it's so important to have like serialization of shows in some way
like shows either have to really stand alone on an episode or they have to be cereal eyes it was it was therefore stand alone episodes what was basically like you would have one person what it was a hidden camera gameshow and one person they would they would say for it and now it take him to a place they take him out of a van and i've been talking to them in their ear and i say i hears we're gonna do you know you have to get fired people to buy in a rose for twenty dollars or whatever and when they buy the rose or get one person by rather and when they buy the rose you're going to cut the stem off and just hand them the bud and that you have to do that and you have to hold onto their money you have to not get in and it would be all hidden camera ship yeah but we did it in like a couple of times a guy like close to violence yeah of course 'cause this guy is young like handsome black guy cut the
those and give to this little girl and she was like a little girl and like in a daddy can have a flower and he cuts the rose far and the father got fuckin' pest like he's fucking with his little daughter and his daughters feelings i she was hurt her feelings so it's like there was a couple instances where i think they were this all this is like this can be crazy will that could also be the issue for not making more is to psych in more lightly where the headache than me i wasn't or maybe you know another part of the show was that we would pretend that i was talking to them in studio but we weren't really in studio i'd be talking to them from a van you know like one hundred yards away or something watching them on cameras hidden cameras we do that but i would it in the studio which was total horseshit so i got my guide mike here's what you gotta do is ok but he's already heard me say this year like i'm saying what i said again gathering my audience
well this is some weird hybrid between acting an like ashlee simpson because i'm whenever they never do it they were they were there would tell me not to talk about it to our simple how do i breach this when we talk about an interview like well you know it's don't bring it up on my camp but it's like don't start it it's so fake and also now just in the time that's gone by you'd probably be have more scrutiny and interviews about stuff like that yeah you know like people are getting much much more savvy about everything yeah like last night you know last comic standing aaron or whatever and i've been reading a lot of the internet about certain sets having like a louder laugh track than other sets you know like the people are actually attention to things like that and then the latter that's conspiracy dogs yeah yeah there creating conspiracy but the fact that even that would be under any kind of scrutiny at all you know like oh some comedians got bigger laughs and others whatever you know like that people are really looking at that stuff all the time
so like every tv show isn't lossed you know some of it's just like ok let me not be for me i don't need to be so angry about it or i think there's a conspiracy behind it yeah yeah no shit yeah where's tv had it's all like that these are your high wives shows headed yet your phone into your computer into wherever you want it to be an early in wanting to be an ideal or played a map shows lately forty eight my new favorite show any of these like like investigation blood splatter type think about how what percentage of above television shows are cops in hospitals what is the percentage he would drag lawyers into it and it's probably eighty five percent but yeah that's true yeah law and order and got damn people just want to see people in trouble well it's also those are the shows where you really do get like especially older viewers like the csi is rock because everyone over forty five or fifty watch is them you know their numbers are in his grey with the younger crowd but they watch and be
it's a satisfying story there's a beginning middle and end and then you can you know you can die later that night you know like old people get you know they're not watching something let like law store it's like well i'm not going to be around when this when this finally plays out right you know when this this thing that goes on week after week and is so complicated and difficult that's why i think nobody ever got into the wire but that's one of the best tv shows i think ever but it's so do you know it's so much like we're not watching a novel or something and this is so has so many characters in so much which language that's like street language that they don't feed to use you have to figure out what the hell they're talking about right you know and that's just catch on with people especially when they are paying for hbo hbo not paying you to show me stuff that's really complicated and hard to hard to get into you know we bought
the problem with serious man you didn't like that movie there well you know i'm my relationship with the coen brothers is complete roller coaster because i think they've made two or three of the greatest movies ever made and then stuff just stir you know is a swing soon i think that they they make like a movie a year and just like woody allen when you make that many movies you get it maybe so does give me some similarities and start to occur that steps that can be either you enjoy them or you get bored by them you know like with them like a sudden violence thing is lake pretty much in everything they do you almost thinking i'm tired of it you know and the and in the case of serious man it just felt like a lot of their movies to me i was kind of mystified by how a claimed it was because while it was somewhat interesting to watch after was over i was just like didn't feel like it was a valuable thing too
stones yet in a lot of people throw that you're not jewish thing at me as a reason why wouldn't like it and it's like ok i could sort i see that but you know i'm not a lot of things that enjoy watching depicted on screen you out so you think the jewish people enjoy more yeah there's a surgeon you have jewish friends that when i said i'd like it they just chalk up to me not being jewish is so that's interesting maybe that when you're jewish is so much stronger that you make up for the fact that it just ends abruptly for no reason and makes no sense yeah i don't like us metaphors when you end a movie i don't we're talking about that when we did your show doug if you haven't seen a dead letter vizier oh i dont like those that no country for old men endings where things just end and you don't know what happened right that stupid this is moving if this isn't the real world you tell us what happens to have you seen inception yet yes on subjects you feel that
we told you what happened at the idea pretty much because people's desire are still arguing about it really whether or not the top jobs now does groundwork now it does drop sets the usa lives opinions here that's my feeling is lake i dont yeah let's and you could easily do a sequel that's what ever set up for a sequel i think yeah you could easily do that you could have him come back and forth make up new rules how you make an up rules of thinking is certainly a video game employing their begin some new technology that allows you to travel very fourth me more effortlessly that was disappointing but i'd watch a second one idea thank you for saying that because everybody says it was awesome i thought it was bizarre but i did not love it i came but ass i didn't get personally pulled into the world i did i not there and watched it exactly but i did get sad when there was the whole kids thing more sagres kids can come home to his kids until you realize how screwy the whole situation is that there is there was therefore a couple moments like he was in another movie that fuck me with like that to shutter island
haven't seen a shutter island to surround fuck me so when the wife killed the kids was like you better pay this off good fuckers like why you showing me this you show me some lady who fuckin kills our kids i don't want to see that man yeah i'm not a big that always really skeeves me out in movies when you know like it can be used effectively to put children in jeopardy but if something is just about children being abused or taken or any of that kind of stuff i can't it's hard working and watch it is too hard fun i know i'm not enjoying that buddy corruption on the other hand to me was just sort of like it just allowed you to not like the violence is all pretty you know is very bloodless and there's just a
have to me was just a lot of video game should yeah initially it was like it was like i was watching other people do something exciting and it just didn't like i didn't feel like a part of it as much as you know i would want to the fact that it was a dream and that all these people were dream people like when they were running around shooting people they were it was like a 1970s million dollar man episode like everybody gets shot when you point a gun at him there's no drama involved in it everything is really just sort of grab themselves and fall down that stupidity the fuqing ski chase with chase nominee they jack everybody like stop it just what the fuck i didn't like the whole ski part by i'd think visually with so amazing a jet hold it settled worried and ensure that it was cool like you were very bad every single awesome special effects affections in that movie is there's a snippet of it in the tray like the trailer is not and when i first saw the trailer i thought that's an amazing trailer 'cause i have no idea what was happening except floating around part that was one of the coolest parts where there were there flow
the body is around you know in the wrapping a mob yet but there still there still shots of this all sides of the food the floating in the hallways are fighting in the hallway in the trail is i don't know no the stack of the bodies floating the stack now but the aid as well as i that i'm saying still that set piece of seeing every big set piece in the movie the snows whence the though you know that the cliffs falling apart everything the thing is touched on in the trailer so in the movie i was sitting in the hot i'm going i have our i bought a scene all these visuals right even though the trailer is why don't we are to watch trailers man i know i'm tellin you i'm the worst with trailers because i really sit there and watch and and and actually remember stuff from them are like when i'm watching a movie i'll be like where to god how holbrooke was in the trailer why is in his character shown up here you know and i ain't so i'll know that like i'll start thinking about things like that instead of just getting completely lost in this yeah or when you seen a comedy and you seem like some of the best punch lines and in others
there has all the though juicy plot twist the best she's a man what do i do now address to figure out what to do yeah what the fuck you telling me all this for that you ruined all the surprise i think trailers are still it like there's that one dinner with schmucks or whatever yeah that around the first trailers like this concept makes no sense they're trying to explain the story in the trailer and it just did not work for me but i heard it has nothing to do with that trailer like the trailer set it up like this we didn't have you seen you i've i've i think i've seen the trailers for it or whatever but i just i just find trailers for comedies like what maybe watch him once but even then i feel like pretty much handing you the most glorious moments in the movie annie for me i will laugh less when i see the movie 'cause i've seen it before but it's funny how you'll see a moment
happened in a movie that was in all the commercials in all the trailers and people will still laugh at it just 'cause they liked it so much to begin with that they just go ahead and i mean i don't like to tell people why they're laughing generally because i hate the people pay people say that to me like with inception there is a lot of i got a lot of tweet saying you weren't high enough or you are too high yeah i know no consensus and it's just like i wrote back to all of them are as many as i could he know i was as high as i needed to be that day and i watch that movie and i wasn't this wasn't as taken with it is every thing is i was mildly high i would have hated that movie i think i went totally sober 'cause i had heard of that i should and totally loved it i thought it was great but i was completely clean headed
wasn't over thinking things i wasn't supposed to be over thinking i wasn't i was seeing as stone kosovo notes i ain't i was crazy high but i m always crazy i wanna go to the movies and i'm always i'm always open to that experience you know it's if i hated everything then you know people go you know yeats inception creates everything but i could i have been more enthused about that movie and then people say will europe's expectations were too high it's like my expectations were super for kick ass and then i love my father love you know i knew i would love that movie and then i did you know that movie no one is my favorite thing about that movie was it was over a course of like two days that i heard about the movie like somehow another it missed my radar love you better than everybody was saying how awesome it was and then i saw it i didn't see a preview i didn't know the plot i did no idea what the story i knew there was a girl who swear this little girl swears that's all i knew ok girl swears i'll go and i was like wow what is this and then it was beautiful because the whole movie got lay out in its true form without any of its bullshit exposed
the trailers are good in that they don't really they don't really reveal too many big twists but it's such a fun movie to watch when you don't know any of the twist like i hadn't read the comic books and i saw the movie at a film fest also i hadn't you know i'd seen the trailer were nicholas cages practicing shooting her amazing scene i didn't see that i was a trailer that was the trailer just at seeing was one of the trailers and other trailer was the kid that dives off the bill building at the beginning and then the trailer showed lots of stuff through the whole movie i never saw him too much other trailers i would react great fuckin movie it was such a combination of like you know you too national sort of a superhero story but some modern and so raw and just good riding in factories and kids and
this was so carriage is funny and the weather but they choreography the violence is amazing and and even that no matter where they repulsed at the same time yet but even the most were you know that a guy's gonna escape he's gonna get to live they did it so well so it's not offensive adjusted moments in like a lot of people got mad at the scene in avatar when the guy in the crazy suit is fighting the you know the alien as fighting the blue lady in the guy you know comes into stabs a member that all seem to like you know he's going to win you know they're going to win and the bad even marine guy is going to get killed up there look at the right where is about to kill him he gets killed lucky you saw it all coming but with this move like it was so well done that it didn't matter with kicking like you know he was going to arrive in the little girls can survive but it didn't matter i didn't know that and beat i didn't know that the little girls gone to survive mean look it what's his face
well yeah stuff you know that's the thing is it's funny how i don't want to spoil the movie because normally when something is out on dvd i'm like those people didn't get around to it yet it's so good though you don't do it but i don't want to do that with this movie 'cause you know how many people are discovering it on dvd is the day it came out on dvd i wrote constantly on twitter about how much i loved it and i got lots of people writing back to me saying you know i'm so glad you made such a big deal out of it 'cause i thought it looked like something for kids or something like they just didn't get it and then they watched it and the whole thing unfolded without them knowing too much about it it's the best it's so it's so great avatar was like that for maine i didn't know shit about avatar when i saw it i never saw a preview didn't say anything i'm just unfolded in front of wow this is some do not have any idea what the fuck it was about gathered all play out i'm it had seen pictures with the blue people like had no idea what the premise was how you know the operate i thought they were just people i thought they were just little alien creatures you know i like toy story three better than that movie
yeah actually i only see all that movie once an i liked it a lot remember like in law but now i don't feel like watching it ever again for some reason it's really frustrating when you really like a movie when you see in the movie theater and then you try to watch it home and you're bored and you just have to commit to it and stick with it i watched it twice just because you know again i was sort of disappointed by the first viewing an then and then people just insisted that you know i give it another try and then the second time i saw it i maybe liked it a little bit better but still still wasn't crazy about it but i like to you know i'm going to see inception again just to just to see if you know it plays differently the second time and in a way that improves it for me this is where i don't think it well though now whether those weird discuss start reading some of the discussions about whether that last part of the movie was real or fake about how like that other or that guy was met them at the airport like couple how later you know it's lost on a movie you know shit yeah
it's just to me it sliced in a movie exactly like if i love the movie like like i love kick ass if somebody came to me and went hey there's something that you miss there's this amazing twist that you have to know this about this character in that about that i'd be interested because i love the movie just for i got from it that that one time you know i mean without having to investigate anything they gave me something that i enjoyed whereas option feels guenaud similar to last a tv show in that you kind put your own kind of thing into it you know did you guys what have we were younger when you first saw the ghost and three men and a baby did it scare the fuck out of you could blair witch me i remember rewinding on my pc argolic retarded i am i saw it i saw it and then i went on stage that night i told the audience to look for it oh my god i am i am oh i don't know i don't know what it is but there's a cardboard cut out and its speed that fits vision the same that's exact same
sing to me is your files are ghosts do not bother me at all like when people like junk window that's haunted i'll be like get outta here you first thought i turn the lights on no no ghost is ever even abducted anybody they haven't done shit yeah at least ufos have claimed have taken people and done experiments on them and stole babies and shit bake it goes on to you that paranormal activity movie bored me to death like i never saw so boring all goes those go shows all those things it's kind of funny watching the peoples girls scream so much about about maybe seeing a ghost but that's just like just like haunted house raised time you know it's just fond walk through a dark maize and soft and jumps out at you and that's that's all those tv shows are thoroughly did you hear that yeah what does not hold on we're not getting his feelings were now creating i feel like something here i feel a breeze there's a presence you guys i'm really freaking out over this present cut to commercial yeah
or are coming up i love the coming up and then they show you exactly what's going to happen exactly the same way you're going to see it it comes up right here like this police chase shows they always show the crash at the end and then you come back and watch a real long version of it could be cerecons who was arrogance is that we are again surrogates did you see that the poorest willis that yeah now you know that movies i was just like yeah i kind of this terrible ai but it's interesting it was interesting concept but it was terrible movie you know it's good good because it's bad legion have you seen legion i forgot i imagined it's pretty entertaining ulcers it's so stupid awesome is this fucking angel comes is going to save humanity 'cause there so dumb he cuts his wings off and he's going to battle all the other angels and then there's like an mma battle between the two angels in the end and with
with the angel spins around and he shoots at him and the bullets ricochet off the wings as he spins in a circle do you ever see michael the angel that john travolta thing with no pants on oh you got it you gotta think for andie macdowell that was like that he was an angel remember seeing that in a movie theater on a date going god put in my doing here this is talking that movie i'm john john travolta got hit by lightning and became really smart something happened to abidjan almost died became a fucking genius he retards everywhere were standing outside meddle in their hand it's just towards dreaded turning very tonnage and shifting why did you see the wondering whether this means that in his ragged dependence radiance was it
yeah with the dude from over any dancing patrick's yeah i never saw it by saturday stone wiley newmar wong fu whatever they never watched that movie that's like you should just want to find out if it needs gay or not just start talking about that movie and if they spit out the proper title someone i forget his name was telling us about patton oswald does this thing where he plays blade three and bring still seems like how crazy wesley snipes was different shit that he was doing why the movie was like like that the eta like fire west we sometimes see this different guy not once we snipes way cooler new black guy and he like bright down the whole move in how it saying it was man worse than that of a certain what you i wouldn't talk to anybody what he would do the right things posted notes give them to his hair dresser and then his hairdresser would talk to other people like he wasn't even talking to his hairdresser it was it should have posted notes and give it to the dude and then the dude would talk to other people like you wanted
about like gone like crazy insulated superstar mode that's the worst i've ever heard he's been really good stuff too like that first blade is great area the second point i think it's a substance issue i think you know i think i'm you can only do so much cocaine before you start listening to the powder you know after get a grip on you i've seen it change people's personalities for sure i had very good friends that i knew that had real big problems with coke and when they started doing it they changed their their personality changed drastically you get insane you're keeping different hours than than everybody else you keeping different hours you're not going to enerji if you're doing it a lot you're not getting enough sleep when you don't get enough sleep you get delusional anyway you get like weird and loopy and on top of that you're jacking yourself up with coke on top of that you're a dick to see a bodies nine you trying to act like you're not doing exactly confuse so complicated and then on top of that you're a fucking huge movie star and you're on
sat in everyone's kiss your ass your goddamn wesley snipes you know you fuckin wesley son just names we have the limo waiting for his types would you like a bagel mister snipes everyone is just kissing his ass he said he's looking people out of he just wants him out of his room he gets gets crazy nobody is to talk to me i will write on a post it i will hand it to you you will talk to them you do not talk to me either and so you know they put him in that stripper truck and just drive him around wesley snipes in the back of it just sitting down there though he listened this is how crazy guy he listen to someone tell him he doesn't have to pay taxes yeah but all i got that sounds good out you know i don't have to taxes does constitute motherfuckers then i'm gonna go to court would meet so what he did was he owes fifteen million dollars and they're going to put him in jail for three years now that's that's a long ass time yeah he's going to come out even bigger monster then
or humble who knows i mean for some people chill and humiliates them and bring some to this point with a kind of have to reassess who the fuck they really are speaking of long navy did you pick up that guy yeah it's not usually it depends he's going to violent place he's going to go to no but i mean he'll come out an even bigger action star i think like he's going to he's just going to work we create three years and we get all you may get crazy orange domino did you hear the guy who walked the entire length of the amazon river started in fucking peru and he made it all the way to the ocean it took him over eight hundred days his is used his initial thing was supposed to be only a couple one thousand miles but because of flood he had to go way out of the way so wound up being an extra two thousand miles this fucking guy walked the entire length of filming no he do he doing stuff he got like web logs has voted shit on the way and able to guide joined him he's sorry
was one guy and they got sick of each other like a couple days and in that i said fuck this is stupid and he laughed and see picked up some dude in peru and that do just walk with the entire way the dude committed to walk with inflict a couple of days and then decided to go all the way to the that should be a reality show season one the first sixty days or so she almost got killed by a bunch of different things he got some crazy skin disease which they probably have no fucking cure for right you got bitten fifty thousand times estimated by mosquitoes and that's not like you said that is a van high encounter saint estimated come back in a peace plan estimated prob pretty sure i mean they've done the calculations in twenty plus fucking days in the in the amazon rainforest walking fac walking thousands of miles walking but he got like he's in he's a record book
yes he's the first wasn't idea was it i mean why do you think he didn't want to be the first to do it people said it was impossible so he wanted to prove him wrong yeah it is possible if you want to get some crazy fucking skin disease get attacked by the natives he got attacked by people that thought he was a oil prospector so they held him we put concrete in his mouth they're going to kill him they had bows and arrows pointed out i'm going to come out somehow another talked his way out of it how we get out of it why he's around just trying to break a record you guys let me go mean now if you go that way those oil people are fuckin ruthless those stories of what they ve done to the amazon rainforest is horrible come on any there's one i saw with these these villagers were trying to fight off the oil company people do you company people at poison their water the water like the river that stream whenever they got their drinking water from it got jacked and their crops were fucking up because of this water they had all this pollution problem so they would like shooting fuckin' bows and arrows at these people
like shooting back at them with guns and it's like the whole thing became like a war between this corporation that was sucking all the resources and fucking up their entire way of living so their options where will they can go to work for this oil company and in the end get and modernize and become part of the western world but your way of living is essentially fucked you know yeah yeah i i seen the next leonardo dicaprio movie coming out i see it coming out too he works for the oil company goes there with the evil intentions and then he learns their ways and that they're not so bad it's it's called jump there being fuckton yeah he dances in love with somebody dances with wolves with iowa osca 'cause i don't you think funny how much everybody embraced avatar even though it's essentially about a guy who you know he does it for love and for the environment everybody still is essentially a traitor to his own the team that he's on he basically is under cover for them and falls in love
this woman and then basically just then starts fighting for the other side like if somebody made a movie about somebody falling into the town in that way everyone with everyone would hate that guy and that movie yeah it's amazing to me that nobody was naked redress it up a certain way and make a trader is like totally cool because he was right 'cause he because his character was right like he's on the side of right like good and bad is so much more clear cut in motion pictures and people just accept it was a thing where the people were upset because a lot of people thought that it depicted american soldiers in a very poor way because the american soldiers were rooting for the american soldiers killed these big blue aliens that we can identify with you know but you in a bit about it for like they'd the american soldiers would never be as nice like we would never make fake arabs go over and make friends of the arabs are the anti war with you mean they made fake blue people just so they can make friends that's way now
then we would do it you know yeah but then there's always just that you know then you can always blame it on like while one commander than one guy yeah what's he gonna fuckin one guy naps and he makes all this just something to the guy who want the scars i like these cars i mean it's like such a cliche but if you made a movie a really good movie about a guy who joined the taliban you would be a fucking traitor could not show him in any light that would give him an excuse for joining no it couldn't like falling in love with a girl going to be a good day not good enough could not be a good dance it couldn't be the taliban in less there was like some missing corruption about what the taliban was really about and that they weren't suppressing didn't you know restrict a woman's right to vote and choose and and and now being equal citizen they were throwing rocks at if you'd if they could like if somebody was in a position where they could be brainwashed into thinking it all those things out not so true i mean most of what pete most
what most of the people in the united states know about any middle eastern country is you know what they see on television and we could choose to depict any individual culture or sect of that culture and anyway you know the united states wonder start saying that the taliban is involved in child pornography and then promoting all these images and and that's outside the realm of possibility that's totally along the lines of the type of shit the cia does it said to discredit people look foolish if they started saying that you know the leaders of the taliban are involved in a child pornography ring and if they're abducting you know white babies from england and fucking them on video you know i mean they could easily what's my point where can i get this where can i get this video you can download that reference can you have you make it put a link on twitter with real people anymore i think they're really close to me or that makes e g i see tee i twisted porn there is not illegal to you can't even have
cartoons of people getting kids getting fucked i don't imagine that seems like that would be wrong i've got about it a joke i do onstage about that you know it's like i have this bit about how kids would really love blowjobs they knew about it you know like if you walked in on a really hot chick and she was blowing a smiling five year old like really what's the problem here i mean really she shouldn't be doing it but if you look at what's happening like he's smiling and she's really hot like what's the issue here and then i say well it's a fake baby like you know this is a real situation yeah be kinda creepy but this is fake this is like there's no real person is blowing babies to make jokes this is just all stuff that i've invented but you can't like nobody wants to hear nobody wants to hear you know any any weird imagery like that when it comes to babies you say anything like that like the children even if it's fake and it's like whoa this is just this is creepy
of all the commercials or they have these days of babies with adults voicesand man his hands like would leave babies alone behaviors alone doug why do they have to be forthcoming quotes so much use that as an avatar when it is anyone's devonshire and a message weren't it is funny when people like moms take pictures of babies like they go to owen mills to get him down or whatever like how some of the things like poses they haven't do like holding like almost erotic penthouse type shit of babies though yelling like laying there with like a sunflower know a copy my point was that like talking about babies having sex like talking about a kid getting his dick sucked is really the only way that can be presented even if i say it's a fake baby it's still the imagery is gross but you can actually say that you could say like this fake babies getting his dick sucked and it's kind of funny but you couldn't draw it i think if you drew that it's pornography i think if you drew a realistic image of a child and the child was getting well by a woman if you depicted in that whenever we must limit as a baby
then you would really get fog's right everybody coming after you that's a really interesting question though 'cause i i seem to i can sort of fantasize about imagery like that in some of the more like kind of obscure underground like comic books and stuff i bet you could do it with like so park type characters if there are totally unrealistic looking you can have them fuckin kid stick figures you could get away with it stagnated baby getting it stick dick sucked but you could i could see you know the whole deal with that max hardcore guy who's doing like he's doing like serious time for for pornography because his pornography was deemed obscene by a court by a jury you could you could you know that's a slippery slope oh anything can be deemed obscene yeah by one group of people well if you were selling that in certain areas where they're really strict like florida that's where they got max hardcore they ordered his stuff off the in florida and that way they were able to charge him in florida
if you've ever seen his stuff super disturbing you ever seen lestat i don't i don't seek out super disturbing my thought about it i was like how the flock they put this grandiose hurting anyone is anyway dying is does not snuff porn right this is this is totally contrary so how they put him in jail for it how is it is really freaking everybody out so i watch some of it and i was like oh ok now i get it it's hard man he was peeing in his chicks mouth he was falconer fucking her making her throw up and his with his hard dick being in this girl's mouth and then he's making their talk and saying while paying in her mouth is that paying them off his dick shoving it in her mouth and pissing pouring out of her mouth while his dick is stills stuffed into it i was like alright this guy's not nice
that's not nice guy he's got his rude to create this content you see pee hole porn fucking girls pee holes no it stretches stretches out the people really bad and it got the worst porn ever don't google that getting untried people are we're getting insane it's like the regular shit just doesn't get us off anymore we're so chafed and in an fuckin calloused from this dream shit we see every day but that's also the man the ongoing man problem of just very it is interesting to us you know and it's easy to you now so by satellite i think there's no no no i mean that's just that's really that's really crazy but i think he's talking about like you know just affairs in like that how long we live doesn't listen really work out for how so so at least on the internet you can just keep getting further and further into fantasy
crazy shit yeah that like you know theoretically you won't get caught or at least you won't have problems with your spouse or whatever well theoretically people say that violence and stuff i mean that's how they feel in japan that violence and crazy sexuality and all sorts of weird obscene things actually to normal in real life like you get out your need for craig as out of your way watching it you know in japan the really open about their nutty shit you know you can buy used annie's at like you up like a mall vending machine it also use panties so we don't realize how late are you allowed can you like just sniff him right there it is take it home for him you gotta put the money in their eyes wants to like period ones like every serious prizes or like that's like the prize of it's funny when you said period so i thought you meant like from along time ago
kids do with their problem and then they just reminded when you masturbate off and you know it that's something you supposed to like smell i know and you get a little wet now do you see that it doesn't sound so unreasonable you get a little wet and whatever dry liquid that's on there will become wet again so you kind of feel like you could you rap it around a flashlight yes yeah no problem would be fine you could rising all paeonies or bomb and rapid around that thing and nuts funny how there are so many different countries are so much more open about sex than we are we talk to people to go to europe apparent some countries in europe would be flipping through late night television and then bam hardcore porn online dirty they like white took our we were just fucking guys censoring really have you seen that now i'm trying to figure out how they can do it i'm trying to do the math and we can you suck me as i'm fucking you that's not possible is it possible you don't i
recently so many fucking sent me to a link is a guy said peter n at his best so i'm like what is this gonna show me some porn did you know that peter n in like twenty four gay porns peter north for those folks you don't know of my in doug's era was the champion load slinger should the ilo really some distance marksmen it was ridiculous he would come so much that you would know this got to be fake but he was doing this 80s when there was no there's no cgi on porn same old and under the deck and it just never stop calling you mean ridiculous well apparently did it would do to do and this guy semi is like it it's pure northcote thrilled and the ass if you watch able finance on the watch straight straight poor know as well as a living is pretty gags its alliances at ending around holding your own dick in front of men and women and you know it and other dudes having sex with one woman to me that's like practically doing something gay
really you know i've really is a job if you ve ever watched been on a set of urban asset when it's like a job the weirdest thing is that due to have to stand around jerking off yeah i how to keep it going our hard so they're talking to each other while their small talk altogether madame things are moving my apartment my fuckin next door neighbor man's guys national parks fuck far from a ship with this lens is heat wave going to end yeah there's just just stimulating his dick and then it's so hard for them to come because there fucking like all day in their holdings in the non calmly hold it and they don't come that sometimes when they're like being passed the point no return yeah it's like they have to take breaks and shit and come back and have the girl has fuck em lovers the girls to suck my dick until he gets hard nannies put it back in her ass endlessly only the ordeal so say oh god really have to watch two or three minutes of it i went to the first when i went to
is when i was first moved to hollywood there was a guy who is working for news radio he was a writer and he was also a writer on porn and this is he was an unfortunate looking fellow and this is how he would meet the young ladies and he he was a date he would date them he said until one time he was out with his check and they were eating just got so tired and he's like browser i this ain't seen with john doe all day today so he was like here i am with my girlfriend and she's complaining to me that some guy had been fucking her ass all day so she's tired tat makes you sleep yeah i don't i don't worry i won't apples thither i think they both have to be important for couples to make it work like to just be in lawyer might not work but have you been if everyone to work then porn been shot yea
i threw out not through the window either i did some pierre work for porn and later in the early days when i was you know what i mean when i moved to allay i really like i'm going to work in show business i'm not gonna take it like a wavering job and i could take a job that's not has something to do so business and so i appeal for a lot of the different productions and i just started people to the grapevine and next thing i know i was like setting up the catering at a foreign shoe you know another time they had me holding the boom all day long so it's always stand there with the fucking boom like you know a few witches from some some girl licking another girl and yeah it strangely does not didn't ruin porn for me you know i mean like i now i watch it on computers all the time but you know then we were shooting it there was that it was all envy age ass you know so it was
it was it it ruins why you back then stated these now now now back then i was just like you know as i was not gray with women you know four for most of my twenty so like that was pretty fun and exciting to be around it sometimes than other times it was grossing oh yes it's not you know when you walk in order those poor analysis in the valley where they shoot all the time i could just smells like the walls of shared it loads yeah just like it just has that smell that smell that like you know is acceptable when you're one of the people involved it's a stranger sex now how many porn run maybe it doesn't immediately do gay now now
subject to do out its gay that's what i'm saying those i felt like i was in a gay ports around your watch and a guy just stroke himself right between takes only wasn't balls touch of their doing a double penetration heading visited you see what i tweeted like a week ago it was to get porn guys tweeting back and forth in one guy goes merrick it would do a dp with you no way i treated it we really get along man i think their balls will jibe well together then i think the reply was something i could i needed after this weekend razee yeah i did dp with the dude i get along with a set of some guy brian you're around that world sometimes you know a bunch of people that are in that world that's the strangest world of all time right it's crazy because lately the girl with that's in that world she in your own thing podcast why haven't you girl come over every week so i get to meet like all these girls i'm sitting there like just list
the average rank and to start making no there actually the ones that i've met have been all really cool and lay down the earth and so they never we are making our business now so forget really business business business that can make some money man me i'll now there's some you know there is a porn part girl kind is waiting for that one girl comes over shits herself and shooting up in my bathroom and average icons elsewhere we get a lot of them yet that's where we will i gotta go back here you know seizure relax your anus if your high i think we have for sure where good pornography be if it wasn't for abuse would there be pornography if there wasn't sexual abuse 'cause they say it's a staggering number of people who are involved in pornography had been used but everyone you me when you ask him they say now they say everything was cool and young unlike not know how many people aren't but a lot of ordinary morn bloom i mean that's gonna girls like a problem there maybe they do maybe at another
it's usually always mommy easily could not have been abused but i think most studies it also makes them has something happened you know what it's usually mommy issues though is it yeah because there was i was telling you this one porn guy was telling this one porn girl hey can i just ask you one question and she's like what and he goes if you had to kill one person you are if you had to kill your parents who would you kill first your mama your dad and she goes on and on answer that question egos doesn't matter they all say the mom first wow this is the it's like a creepy things down doesn't love you you have no company your daddy areas that women's italians are more important to them than mommy mother bird fuckin up hard yeah i mean if it wasn't for them if it wasn't for shitty parenting they would be like way less strippers way less porn stars it would only be a few outside like what would we do
worn it makes you really wonder if you know that the big grand equation question is does everything that gets done in this world every human action action positive or negative does it all really fit as a part of one big giant puzzle is it moving either and working together or is it all there for a reason parents they are to make porn to give people some sort of a sexual release that would normally have it because if they didn't have the porn what the fuck are they do i think they should give important prison me what a good people from raping each other yeah but then there's so much come to clean up then they come all over the way that they do should probably raped guys and watch porn at the same time right and then this yeah you get mop up duty or barnes forget what i just like a cafeteria fight from high school just come flying every good ideas and then one that really sucks but that's what really interesting about male sexuality is that when you're in prison you still need to fuck something
i don't think i don't feel that way i feel like i wouldn't i don't think anybody does but it's better they get in there and it's just such can flashlight zambian savage world and you morph threat history legions of men have fact other men you know just 'cause you need to fix something war the romans mean that was the whole reason why the romans would have boy love it was you know they would go on the road for a fucking six months at a time campaigning killing people and moves around them boys and they just fuck these kids they fuck men fuck boys have relations with each other is ever ransacked and right have hands ragged and does it matter they have hands in prison to deal with is that something that was invented in the ninety my words or it was invented wave of yeah that's a thing though but in prison i would imagine theirs it the peer thing of like you you generally don't jerk off in front of other duties when you not i mean like so that would feel even more shameful and embarrassing
less embarrassing to rape somebody that isn't a jerk i'm so embarrassed for rube somebody right after over this right here dude i'm sorry dude can i get your towel listen we're only in this cell for another couple years just promise me never do it again so i never would've believed were raped in the first place i can't promise i'm not going to do it again leading everywhere with their geography rejoice that is the reason that guy this is a awesome topic but do you guys generally go about two hours so yeah it's been over that and i gotta go do my podcast what a perfect way to wrap it up with doug benson our friend very hilarious and talented comedian you can get ahold of him at doug benson on twitter you can listen to his podcast every week which is always in the top ten in itunes and it's doug loves movies
it's freaking awesome he's a bunch of really cool funny gas on and it's not just about movies it's about whatever the fuck you want to talk about but but this was like a crossover event today then yeah you guys are on my show and i've been on yours now yeah it was cool and that's fun it's this whole network hot gas that we have gone on now so many innocent people do you know when there's so much fun to do and i think it's it's a call time for people who enjoy these things nobody ever got access to people this before about ten years ago we would just done this by ourselves without cameras and just what happened ryan we just sit around shoot me shit smokin now people can see it yeah now and in what we bring up some cool subjects in owners when you were a sinner on talking to comedians or anybody interesting and you get a chance to talk about things for two hours this going to get access to some opinions that maybe they would never heard before you know there's people that are going to hear some people that have been through they're trying to do in line four there they ve gone the point where there are and they can offer some valuable information yes
someday i already wrote to me and said he's a fan of yours and you know watch is this all the time but he didn't know who i was prior to this but he he he enjoyed it so i've known you for a long time but we really didn't really really hung out before until vegas that was like the first time we hung out which is recently yea i we just i've always just seen each other like in the hallway at the improv and stuff and yeah it's always been sup dude yeah yeah exactly but vegas was good time and there's a lot of fun that was super fun i want to do that i would do that again sometime yeah for sure definitely no that's doug benson these gentlemen shut out to us light that's right i comic which is website and clear link for fifteen percent off let's worth it trust me it feels awesome when you suck it that's my message thank you everybody closing line or so it feels awesome when you suck it yeah that's going to be my new signature on the rogan board thank you very much everybody appreciate it take care later
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Transcript generated on 2019-12-06.