« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #87 - Dana Dearmond, Brian Redban

2011-03-08 | 🔗
Date: 03-08-2011 The uncensored podcast of Joe Rogan. With Dana Dearmond and Brian Redban.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
the joe rogan experience is sponsored by the flash light if you go to joe rogan dot net and click on the flashlight link in the upper right hand corner answering the code name rogan and you get fifteen percent off thank you very much for listen and here we go buckle up which is ladies and gentlemen brothers and sisters lovers in children dana d armand is in the house supper dana dana and i are e pals we tweet each other back and forth but this is our first time actually meeting each other in real life cool you're very funny some funny shit on twitter and you said you had a really funny thing when you broke down this jennifer
list in fucking what's his name adam sandler movie it it was really funny with yeah if you haven't seen it you can get on you is on you tube on your what it does say just don't go with it just don't go with it yeah to dot com really funny and really like you you you know you broke it down like a comic would break it down like how riddick thus it is first of all was hilarious that you said that jennifer aniston was the human equivalent to oatmeal i am but it's perfect that is absolutely perfect like she's nutritious i would woulda said like a grilled cheese sandwich i would've called her but there's a girl cheese sandwich truck you don't see an oatmeal track and right no lines nobody lining up for our given more credit than meals what i'm saying thank you just you being a little unfair i will give her a little more than oatmeal but i know what you're saying but you know i wonder i got this node for jennifer aniston she's just
check trying to get some money doing her thing thing and now she's gonna viral smart water video and she's trying to like be with all the youtubers and like make a viral video to other types everything she hurting anybody it's easy to get caught up hating someone for no reason and she somebody daffy qaddafi's gonna leave her dad go other kardashian yeah that's how you feel about that but then you know i mean it's it's also you know if you in a glass house don't throw rocks right to live your own fucking life because shit but you're right her stuff what she's doing it's all like god damn bitch i don't have enough money do you want to do something interesting that everything you fucking do is like the same goddamned slide
laurie you know those romance the worst date movies ever yeah because if you will you're going on this date if you're a guy you're already giving into the fact that you're doing whatever you can to your you know you're gonna pretend to be someone you're not you know like i would never ask a check go see some crazy fucking stupid werewolf movie if they weren't into it you know i mean i would never but women can ask a guy to go see some wonky ass date night both jennifer aniston sandra bullock movies those i love sandy do you love their little sandy is it because of what happened to is it going to exactly why right i was going to bitch about no strings attached to is natalie portman you have an oscar but still making bullshit like no strings attached pour me i'm the most attractive person ever me and ashton kutcher going to have no strings attached friends well they could fuck anybody anywhere any day of the week a new person every single day and the
make a fucking happy ass oh we're just to be friends and have sex and it get complicated i wonder what's going to happen what if they fall if they with that girl you have to understand what happens she's sitting around her agent calls on this is what we have for you it's a big movie it's but everyone's all hyped on it and next thing you know i got red for shit that i really i'm happy i never got you could just get into going in on these things and next thing you know you're in an office next thing you're signing papers next thing on movie set and you're doing this fucking terrible movie you know boo hoo cry for you no big deal but i'm just saying they were just out there doing their shit she looks fantastic pregnant
should do that movie the where it's like a it's sold like that were you know exactly what's going to happen gonna fall in love in cheap but then it's actually like he murders her and i love this body like you and me an alien yeah i only once or eggs i would be a good idea for a movie yeah that's right i saw the of what was it called bureau with the folks at all the but you're so behind in movies right now i don't know what this is pretty god damn decent is based on a philip k dick novel so it was real really weird it was really trippy like really surprising like i thought it was just going to be a build a movie and it would a lot there's a lot of dumb elements but you kind of have to have some shit in a lot of movies just to wrap up a complicated premise inside in two you
some i learned that one guy that that thing was also like what is his motivation when he's ridiculously in love with their and your bill you know what what lies this going on really well i mean come on really i mean you you're dwell on the ship three years later because it's meant to be and it's all written down somewhere i fascinating lying about it rack my brain over back to the future and that's like from nineteen eighty five still things by other me about it so much time for almost nothing the rape part he was a rape in back to the future yeah beth tries to rape really let's write an alternate future it really is still having like washes car and stuff like that you know it's weird in that time you tried to rape me like it bothers me so really we thought about that but yes that again i do take a lot of is i kind of hold in on that kind of stuff what about the race i
i don't remember anything about that movie i'm finding as i get older like i've definitely used up hard drive space and deleted a lot of files 'cause i've been watching movies now and it's like i never watched it before i watched simple mind the other day the the russell crowe movie about that genius matter beautiful minds beautiful mind yeah simple beautiful mind and it was fucking great i had no idea it was gonna happen literally didn't remember the movie i know i've seen it i'm just amount of space no space man that's like that social network that's what's going to happen with that movie to me like ten years like it was a great movie but it's not a movie you'll remember you see how many movies man if you really stop you know it's like and i was gonna ask you this because you you do porn why the fuck are they still making porn movies there is no way you could have seen them all right there's no way you need a new one if you're really just beating off there's no way unless you're fixating on very specific actresses which will a lot of guys do but if you're not if you're just beating off geez
scribe that's one we've seen the mall that's one thing i've noticed though it is the characters it is you like a certain actors and you start wanting to see it like before porn was always to me porn was jacking off but then i never really got into characters sense like twitter where now i'm fine when people with twitter and stuff like that now i'm starting to get them though to see a movie with that person so i see but now that twitter is helping it out a little bit yeah that's that's that's definitely what's become mean it's become that with comics as well you know it's it's a people reaching out and you develop like your fan base and then you all communicate with each other and then i guess when some dudes walking off too it's like much more personal or more fun they kind of feel like oh knew a little bit little bit disconcerting get do she with you because of that like i'm a fan like i demand this well i mean even like today coming here people are like we're going to fuck you and i'm like i'm a per yeah like you know like you
your thing is that you know it's like this isn't a movie this is real life and you have your real life and outside of comedy and your podcast and emma mae stuff and tv and movies you have your own personal life right me outside of my twitter feed read my bad thing but my bathtub thing like what's your bathroom i just spent like five hours a day in the bathtub you just sit around the bath yeah i just can you not clean enough or you want to know all i've done so much porn definitely just never ever clean you do unlike a webcam or something i just like looking back to be in the top you should do it on web is there is there a psychological thing there or you just like to do it i just comfortable just feels good even in some warm and wet not wearing clothes and gives me from eating taking food in bathtub is gross can a hacked it in isolation tank that's part of the that be awesome from the cat in the hat comes back that's where he started trouble eats cake in a tub see that's where
right that mother fucker and he gets those little kids in trouble almost and then he pulls it out with magic of the very end yeah most people don't eat in the bathtub well you're up to date with your cat in a hat that is the shit son because i have a two and one slash two year old i know she loves the cat in the hat and i love reading it would get all enthusiastic about it it's fucking great writing the cat in the hat especially the cat in the hat comes back that ones that shit have you got some shel silverstein yet no man where the sidewalk ends get that you'll fucking love it would be great if you will read that shit and you kid batman look at in the hat seems awful psychedelic magic can i had but crazy hat and magic fuck michelle silverstein
michelle whatever fucking talking about interesting man you're talking nonsense i'm telling you about something awesome and you're telling me about something else and i have no idea but it's very similar let's talk about what's awesome i don't want to hear about this you will think it's a cat in the hat is the shits on he's a cat with a magic fucking hat he pulls his cat often there's little cat a little cat a pulls his hat off there's little cat be look at sea and it gets all the way down a little cat z and little cat z has boom and you don't to fuck boomers but boom fixes everything and when it it sounds a little cat z with the fucking shit hits the fan when the cat fucks everything up he gets the tub dirty he gets pink shit out in the snow and on the ten dollars shoes and on mom's dress and everything is a fucking disaster and he keeps pulling out little hats so other cats can help him and they just fuck shit up worse and worse until it gets to little katze little cats he's got the reset reset switch he pulls boom and boom just ship bank
no matter what little cat z is so small you can't even fucking see him he's not visible to the naked eye okay they're going macrocosm on your they're going quantum physics right there how bad ass cat in the hat is so fucked you're stupid was her name again cells is shell silver shell silverstein can suck the cat in the hat stock how about that i gotta say anything i need this because it has the shakes on i need to have some kids because i haven't read this shit in awhile i need you when you don't have kids the idea of reading kids cat and add story sounds like fucking painful punishment people i've been in the position where i didn't have kids i looked at people had kids like oh you trap fuck like
my god oh you're doomed you're stuck to that so i'm over you right now no way not to you know not to it's normal if you don't have kids that's how it's supposed to be set up into you have him of your own you're supposed to like to to complete your mission in life like your your motivation your goals are to be as unintended as possible so when you see entanglements in other people's lives you recognize them as disgusting things you never want to see yourself that's why like you see like someone's acting like an asshole or someone's acting selfish or jealous those feelings that you from seeing him like oh so gross that's a mess wish to you that you're supposed to learn from this you supposed to never ever be what that person is i guess they're there for you when you see people with kids if they're not yours you get this screwy message you get this mess look at this poor fuck you think about all the worst aspects of all your relationships and how you possibly be entangled some other person that is a fucking kid won't stop crying at all your doom but when you have them all the sudden it's like well there's this little human and their your little friends and it's you like
not really another person it's a part of you that's become its own individual you love it literally more than you love yourself and then reading to them and playing with them it's fun as fuck it's like you got this little pal like she makes me laugh all the time she shows me her dumps she takes his giant shit the fucking huge they come at his little tiny body can't believe how big are shits are you start twittering hurt window way no way dude would be jerking off to my baby shit fuck not long if they fix that fix my cock baby thinking of course there would be at least like five guys if you showed how big your baby shit was were like what else can i fit in that ass they would think stuff in there i jacked off the new kids poop today joe exactly there's at least one guy who's going to say that but she thinks it's hilarious she goes i just made a poop log poop is what she knows is funny because it's funny coming out of a two year old so that's like the
go to word you know whenever you know what does it smell like poop everything smells like poop say everything smells like poop and laugh that's awesome but you gotta get her in on a there's a show called adventure time i highly recommend it's like a trippy show for kids but if you're an adult you will fucking want to get high and watch it amazing all i wanna do really yeah and then it's like maria pampers on it steve agee said that he we did something yeah like a bunch of really talented people it's really cool the guy that used to flapjack flapjack got cancelled so now he's on it too would you ever do a cartoon voice i think i think that would be one of your ideal things i think i have what we you did a family guy or ah american dad or something like that you remember you well i did it yeah i did a cartoon voice on family guy and i did um fuck what else i've done with little kid shit i feel like i've done something before i've read some books i read some books that became
on cd long time ago with mario lopez no way it was kind of fun could you're reading me a kids story and i always ah remember like you know like how was i was a little kid like to listen to it a sat of someone tell a story it was like fucking cool he'd be tucked in bed and here's some really exciting story
so it's fun it's fun doing speaking of lopez out remember when we had alison on she she was extra behind mario lopez and she was just staring at him like he was like the terminator with this really evil what she's made done it again but this time she did even better like at the beginning they like high five when they come back from a commercial mario lopez and her and then she immediately goes right back in the character and she's just staring at him down looking but over over did it is not yeah she's overdoing it this time just acting just be crazy on tv channel what is going on with that chick exactly one template which is crazy exactly the first time i met her when she was a brian she's very nice very nice person first time matter mike who is that girl gang look what's going on yeah i feel like that i have sent her to see some real i don't know and i'm like i don't remember members interacting yeah get his name face but then she's super nice yes like the condors in every she just gets lost in over five i think you know like he's constantly you know just thinking about things and then she looks angry it's called winning scott when
things called winning winning this is charlie sheen meme is it's turned a corner the corner i watch the podcast and also this is not fun anymore there's there's two there's three now but there's two inversions there's one where he actually tries to do like a talk show it's very strong change it's very cocaine everyone in the room is like all happy and laughing at nonsense and there's this one guy who won't stop playing fart sounds it's like you know probably listen to the howard stern show twice and you know and said oh well this is probably all it takes just fucking fart board guys blowing off farts in the background for no reason whatsoever and charlie reading off cue cards just trying to have those synapses fire in some sort of a reasonable and understandable sequence because it's just okay and madness in that brain his brain is ravaged dude he's got
blow out holes in walls and waters leaking out no one knows what the fuck happens you when you blow seven fucking gram rocks your snort numb and smoking him for years and years he fried he barely trying to keep it together what if this is all a setup for a movie would be an item ask genius moving yeah i mean maybe not maybe not maybe the best way i will never ever be on charlie sheen bandwagon fuck him then why does it just i don't know that's the best way to get people mad i think is just to be like i'm not into what you're into fuck you yeah i actually have not been watching or following any of it i feel ok there's no reward in that for me
there is a reward and following it there's a reward in studying it like he's some fucking lewis and clark of cocaine and whores you know he's like out there in the woods and shared with indian divorce had been around for very very long time no worries about the rocket like two mill away about two mil a week is how you discover something new he's got radical amounts of money syndication money and when you have that kind of money that's how there's dude show up with briefcase says and shit and you know and there's fifty girls in the room he he's doing he's doing other level shit 'cause you're not supposed to get rich and still have this crazy appetite for cocaine and horse you're not supposed to be that open about you not supposed to be
public about it well that's what's crazy is that that's exactly where tv's going this horse is concerned we all live our life supposedly supposedly this is the real is you can get for reality show now is having a you stream channel and seeing somebody about to die maybe i know him for the whole thing's fake no it's not fake and directed by cell silverstein and this is going to like the next biggest movie ever you in three d it's it's also scary when you look at his body and its face like the latest once the latest two it looks like he hasn't eaten or slept in days like his skin is loose on his face yeah it looks like an old man yeah what's because he's lost all this weight how oh look at me that looks like it's only two years older than me and i don't know i know i don't look like i did when i was young i look at myself when i was young and i'm like wow how weird is that like that's me i'm decaying you know i'm like my body is morphing and changing but i look better than that dude
yeah that looks like hugh hefner hugh hefner right there yeah yeah that's an old man that a sixty year old man by the way we're looking on you stream he has all his videos videos and channels name is r on ustream and is w wytv bro you know here's i think that's just one of them that's on i mean i think you can you can watch the actual charlie sheen one re competent it looks but this one was a million views so yeah that might be it maybe it is it but here's what disturbs me look at the pointiness of a shoulder yeah look at the bones yeah that's weird is dying he's dying yeah that's real now he's dying he's winning yeah he looks like he looks like steve jobs right there yeah do a liver trends
yeah maybe that's what it is maybe that's why is all this horse in his house there he's like matching m1 with the matching their organs amans you bitch i used to say that about dick cheney that dick cheney probably has like seven secret service agents but only six or real circuit service agents one guys just some dude who's got his blood type and this waiting harvesting dick cheney to die so they going to cut this dude open like a fish harvest that one guy behind them with the truck with ice in it it's ready to throw the heart in there while still beating what blood type are all those whores what time you are i don't even know what blood type i think i have like cat blood type or something oh positive dana the only one here that's not high she high scared she didn't want to go deep will nervous i am a little nervous yes it's very hard to be in the same room with people who are professionally funny
because i'm not funny i could just fucking open my ass and like except a huge cock you know and everything will be ok things will pan out for me everybody will like you yeah way to go yeah because i i can fall back on just you know being pretty you know enough you don't have to worry about anything just be yourself i don't have to be funny you don't have to be just but it is here because i like you are but you know what no more than you have to be like like the beautiful thing about this podcast for real is that it's like a conversation you know it's like what people get a chance to see is it's like you but in in on an interesting conversation you know so just by yourself so you're all good that should just be funny thank but you are you are funny and if you haven't seen that clip it's very funny have you ever thought comedy ah i don't know 'cause it's kind of hard because i'm like
the social only a social marginalized by being a sex worker and then people can we expect you to be like sexy and then i read as conversation brian about female comics and how it's like that's already you're kind of a around down on the latter because you you know my boyfriend my period my cats you know kind of stuff and it's really hard to get out of that it's it's that is the business is very hard for women and somebody like me coming in like being pretty and being a porn star and you know being like having a dirty mouth or whatever i feel like i'd be kind of painted into a certain corner of being expect how can you be painted more than you already i know that's once the task porn star how could do and being a female comic which
this i mean arguably the general consensus that would be a notch many notches above on the social ladder like how it possibly fuck you up by being funny as well as doing what you already do maybe i'm just afraid of failing could be that right i mean it's very intimidating like i do like comedy bits for videos and stuff like that and people have always call me because they need like a pretty girl or a naked girl or someone will do full frontal and whatever and i also for an i get jokes and stuff like that but you know i don't know if i could be like here are my series of jokes and then try to like change it from you know i feel like i would have to fall back on being a porn star for the basis of my comedy which is something that is kind of counter productive to what i do as a porn star because i sort of market my
as a girl next door in a normal person you know so you like folded in on itself no would i really don't think it would because you just be yourself as you age i need that no i did you mean it right maybe we're not i think i think what you said know just reading tweets i think your hilarious and even if you just took what i do is i usually think of a tweet that i really like and then i try to write a little story around that tweak is that pretty much is like the the meat of the goal that that and i wasn't open that up so we can too or soon we're we're down just in case yeah that's like the me of a joke you know like a tweet tweet it pretty much is the best part of a joke usually enough so i think you'd be good at it just based on your on your way to tweet is is just a hundred forty characters as writing material you know it's just it's it's just saturday and and not and not that's the beautiful thing about it something it's just whatever the fuck you think about anything you know
i was talking about like many tweet last night that i was watching this charlie sheen thing and then he sounds like hunter s thompson here that's crazy got this crazy nutty guns thing going on i'm like wow this is weird right now i'm stuck is that although drug thing it's not like you just go too far over the edge and you just you know everything's firing fucking goofy is that what it is well charlie sheen has been famous pretty much all his life and he was like born into a famous family too so i mean that kind of set you back a little bit to begin with because you're already scrutinized being watched pretty closely and you're in a bubble because you're rich from the moment you're born clay yeah what's the company makes you do is be real as you can't fake it we can't pretend something's going on that's not going on you know what what's happening is happening when when you're talking about something you better be actually thinking about something on those little animals out there going to smell it i don't know it's not going to work like me fucking happy heckler i'm the worst
yeah you heckled mike young i know it was so funny though it was better meaning to like the eleven people that were there well listen mike young needs it falls needs it as long as you don't do that to anybody good and don't just filming but sometimes we bomb we're trying to work something out like when you tell when people are working things out i'm sure you can i'm sure you just felt insulted by what mike young was selling yeah i know that feeling he was like peeing on my shoes and tell me it was raining this miserable can you can you know guys can go down a bad road and then he was like hey i see you you have bangs and i was like male that burn bangs oh yeah you can come to her loud you can come do a joes show tomorrow if you want to do a five minute set everything here to know we're doing a show tomorrow yeah before i even this week is comedy and magic club so
friday and saturday saturday the the comedy magic club hermosa beach and tickets are there's still some left but not much and then next week friday night we're going to gotham is beat me in the wild jew in gotham at nice feeling was like aliens and that's next next friday night then wednesday tomorrow at am house sells comedy hall and telling time secure christine and a lot of people why this lesson yeah either to a lot of people don't know it's gonna be really fun and that's a good a great place to around i came up with two new jobs last time i was there really is on yeah that's awesome 'cause it's such a little intimate or an environment and everyone knows that it's like you're there for that you know it's like everyone well that you there i did my material but i'm really where do i want to entertain you but i also want to go down crazy road to see what happens completely free ball
and you can't do that in big crowd you need to do that like an like an eighty ninety and then you just you really know what's funny and what's not you can't get off any tricks intimate environment a really small room you can't get off any tricks it's like it's either funny or it's not yeah and and it's a very truthful you know and you could do that i'm telling you you could do it when you're when you're talking about not wanting all these other things like not wanting to be to me you've already managed to avoid that and the most demeaning job possible yeah i guess i have seriously i mean that depends i don't feel like it's not demeaning meaning i think there could be forced to and who won the judges anywhere such as anybody that's not hurting anybody if anybody just not hurt anybody whatever you're doing how weird it may be that some people think that you're happy i'm brain washed or maybe i need to be rescued food or maybe i just i was raised in properly or you know i'm sorry he then or something that i'm just you know i need the right person to slap some sense
because they think that because for most people that's the case for most people in your business that's case i mean it's not an irrational reason for them to think there for sarah percentage doesn't account for all abilities so there's a lot more variables variabilities there's there's a lot more variables doesn't count for all of us and there's people can be all kinds of things for no fucking reason and to say that it's all from abuser you are happy growing up happy person yeah very mom dad brother cat
everybody normal shit just really open about sex in your house like how did you become so uh i don't know i was like i'm weird and i've always been weird like i asked my mom what was i like when i was a kid and she was like pretty much exactly the same way as you are now just shorter and i was like okay then like this kind of neurotic silly person for a very long time and i never had like any sex talks with my parents i think at a certain point they were like it's really normal to experiment with sex and drugs but you probably shouldn't drink and i was like what i'm gonna go get drunk because if my parents think that drugs and sex are cool they must suck be nerdy or whatever like i think i kind of went alex p keaton on them right little little flip man that's something you got to really be aware of when you're raising kids just tell them what you want to do right no you don't yeah you they're kind of figure out a way to trick him trick the little monsters yeah
so you just gravitated towards the alcohol to be a rebel yeah i was like a like a really bad drinker when i was younger i went through phases where would like not drink at all but then like pick right up in like be a drunk person until i was like twenty three one yeah i would just like i did and like sex i mean it wasn't like super interested in it like i had boyfriends and stuff and like my parents never tried to make me feel about about sex but the man that i was with always dead like they made you feel bad about it and what about like how many people i've had sex with or like what i'm into or whatever and i was just like i was found it to be pretty straight so i guess we parents raised me to have good ideas about sexuality but really like wasn't really pant like laid out for me in anyway well for men you know you want to know how many partners because then the likelihood of her leaving you becomes assessed like how long she
that is such a sensitive thing to say which i think is really interesting because i think a lot of people would say you know to see if she's like a whore or slutty or if she's like diseased or whatever she gave me herpes there's that too there's that feeling that she's not spirit i think that's pretty pretty well you're going to give you a love up to a girl yeah well what the fuck is accumulation of all your experiences sexual right where the fuck you want to maybe you may miss the problem is it becomes like you find out about like trains that were run on and like how many times it to him the h like how many gang bangs three you know then you start thinking how can i ever think that that's where axes special between us you know how can i ever think that a that this is this is for real worthy of my love real it's not what i see in the movies you know that's not what i see in sandra movies sandra bullock
we get the train run on her you know she doesn't go to work and get funny ass and then come home and want to cuddle with you so she could fucking do whatever now for a woman she can go full vanish she's on the verge of banishing already she's forty years old forty three years old or something like that she is very cute but i mean you're not going to want to see her as she's sixty in a romantic comedy about a woman trying to find her way and she coaches a bunch of black guys that are playing ball and she learns a valuable lesson like milk like on the blind side maybe she was a little bit of ah like a mom not like a girlfriend or sexy boss it's so fun how we identify with someone who's gone through some crazy i know actually on television az crap she doesn't deserve that she seems nice
but i do wonder why she was married to that jesse james yeah that seems weird lately tattooed all over the place what is that about i never really understood that you got like they both enjoy cocaine or something or he's a charmer there's some guys are charmers and i think he was very obsessed with being fame as the man looking for a little yeah it's a great so what we have here is a charmer he is a bull artist and he's getting this girl to believe him now we have a dead baby in florida a homeless talks about yeah this is this is dead baby in florida nancy grace is on that shit you will look for this story on cnn dot com you will find nothing here we have the mother come home from war boss cigarettes with the baby in the car she
casey anthony's so much she like killed her daughter caylee anthony in florida but no but it's like the thing is she's not like ever trying to present herself is like an impartial news person she's like and casey anthony they will figure out the truth about you 'cause you murder your baby like i said he's a there's a freudian right there bias well she's not she's not supposed to be a news person she's like a discussion person which is a form of computer but that's the interesting part comes she's gotta figure it out the crazy thing is like when she when she's talking about tiger woods like woah woah woah settle the fuck hum hooker i thought you were all about dead babies in florida what are you doing about black athletes that like to fuck but really you're going to route three weeks working on black athletes that want to fuck really
who are these girls where do they come from how did they get his phone number well nancy grace nancy grace he probably gave it that anybody could use on black cock it's nancy grace i could see her enjoying it couldn't you i pay for that i could see her enjoying it i could see her again stuffed somebody just finally fucking treating her like she's really sexual and hot for the first time in twenty thirty years should get into it big mandingo ebony sword sword knows how annunciated the w sword oh you're such a dead sea that's fucking comedy right there that's timing you could totally be a stand up comedian you could totally do it i'm telling you with the same real comics and comics and porn stars are very very similar we all come from some fun
in weird ways where we didn't get what we were supposed to get where young and there's a whole you fill that hole up however you want with jokes or with dicks is the same thing there's room for both my whole yeah i'm telling you could do it you could fit hands in there and shit claps people doing clap you got five minutes tomorrow south oh my don't i have to do it no pressure i don't want to fuck what happen with her with drinking do that can't you can't push are in a direction she's to push back take your bullshit so psychology yeah nice fucking try to trick you so the funniest photo of you she has by the way she has an obsession with tranny like she is addicted to tranny i agree i saw one of this big black giant and seventy like seven to seven hundred and seventy she was giant she was that
huge girl she's so funny how was it she was that even a turn on that i just thought she was like really owning her shed pounds use like work in the room like it must be fun like i'm five a and i feel like i'm a little bit too tall you know and if i may yeah i can the tranny like something i eat in touch with my inner any inner training my for my masculine side it my masculine feminine side bone bone bone
i don't know what is that making a bird no but what is a terrible time to get your balls caught in your pants and you have to adjust this conversation's going about like the last thing i want is anybody think that i'm getting a hard right now but i'm shifting in my pants because my balls pants better moment about a black bar over talking about like fem boner something and i'm like god damn it i don't have to adjust my balls i'm i'm with terrible timing i'm very obsessed with rupaul's drag race i've been watching it for all three seasons and i really like the drag drag queens likes to hang out with drag queens a lot when i what's the obsession just that you find a cool or interesting aesthetically when people are just really being themselves it means like dressing as a different gender or whatever it's just because that's like what they feel very ambiguous and i really like that why not right yeah why the fuck not like i used to go out like pulling drag looks with drag queens in florida and i like blended in with them i thought you were a big woman
like a dude dressed a girl dressed as a dude dressed as a girl like some pretty next level inception type shit is the next level shit your hands are too small and too small my you're a dude you are really one of those people that were supposed to be born a woman yes you know wow that would be first it's way better to be a woman who looks like might be a tranny than a dude looks like a woman but so is there any is that are like the like girl like a gin and they're like jeans are just messed up and they just ended up with a deck but they're like really more woman right they have a whole different like if they want to do trainee porn there it's a very neat sh and that they look more like women and then like someone that maybe sir transitioning later in life for that was more masculine right and so it opens their door to like be like the best transsexual prostitutes or porn star or whatever like they could really like cash in
that you know if people really want to make their strategy keep taking an issue we're in deeper in to be the best is it possible to compete who's the best yeah they like train awards bailey bailey jay got the best transection former u follow the trainees yeah she's addicted me is addicted training me and i follow them back an well you call me and i think they're just hot girl there probably just happy that someone accepts them i think i should any why shouldn't everybody except in joe rogan you're right exactly i think there's a broad spectrum learned something here today there's a huge spectrum and all i care about people thought they were gonna hear about like that fighting stuff uh for like fucking stuff and we are teaching people real values well i mean that's what this thing is about this is just a conversation yes we we it's so easy to judge people valuable
good family values and an we naturally gravitate towards teams and if you're not on team dress like a guy all of a sudden there's something fucked up about you but you're a fucking guy who really loves dressing like a chick fucking mind who's anybody to say there's something wrong with that i couldn't just like a guy and i might not lady girls dressed like guys all the time i never have a problem with it i don't want to dress like a woman but i don't give a shit if you do every time village makes hot who i think she's hot every time i dress like a guy someone goes with hilary swank she's like a dude i think so is it like i've i've heard to say that they think she was single a man i'm like i don't know maybe you get a certain amount of man in you you to be a certain amount of masculine to appreciate a beauty like hilary swank which is a little on the
yeah but i never even thought of that before you need to be more dominant more masculine herman yeah you don't want to be like a frail man and you want to fuck hilary swank show mount you and ground and pound you i feel like i'm i'm actually probably more masculine than hilary swank the person i will i have to see the two year together because when you see someone in real life like people always tell me when they meet me god damn you're so fucking short so you know it's true five eight but on tv yeah but on tv you know you live pick you know you're on television and these people meet me in there like towering over me and the like well you know like you meet a guy sixty four hours ago i thought you were focused taller like you don't know what anybody is like until you actually meet me right i mean you have to see like i've met celebrities that i thought were like these big people and there's this little tiny people and then look at conan o'brien i never knew he was at all i can say is very tall which i'm sure it makes it awkward when he does it no because towers over all these people he wants to be unassuming be you know you know it's it's interesting thing
so who's more manly earlier should have to be sitting right next to you is when she did million dollar baby and she played the boxer look pretty fucking manly she was young but she was yoked do you remember that i could workout if i didn't love not working out but she or in a civil issue did at some pretty sure she's more mask on it you know i don't know look if you were together right next to each other and she buff doesn't mean they're like masculine fuck it doesn't yeah it does it's all dere he related to how difficult would be to rape you that's what exactly what it is you would like to be a tangle like kind of dim i can't even get hard because i gotta fight and fight for my life here and feisty if a man feels like you could just absolutely run away with you like grabbing i'm just modeling tortured people on their balls i don't think i would have any problem like trying to like punch someone in the face or rip their eyes out or kick them in the deck or something i've been like very aggressively sexual towards men and shame them right so i feel like that would be an advantage of
rapist rapist out nobody tried to rape me 'cause i can kick your day involving all i'm saying is that are you trying to get people to rate me not so you know your follower shape you i'm not saying it no please don't rape dana please thinking about it please stop thinking about it that's not what i'm saying is that so one woman becomes manly like this when she looks how it's very rude and it's very right it's so inconsiderate it's so inconsiderate i want to fuck you even if you don't want this girl is talking to the other day on she said she was raped twice and i'm like i'm like which one
the better one dude write that down write that down that's a big that's a bit like if you had to choose one like which one you gotta do that tomorrow night it sells one hundred percent that is a bit no doubt about it that's really funny i think it's really funny for some people unlike the bts of porn movies i'll try to be like when did you lose your virginity and some people just full on is like how old were you in the first year rates yes behind the scenes footage industry talk sorry that's from that's and for our size i wasn't even ask as i thought i would say with zero i thought you were saying like a message board like a bbs networks like the little bitch it seems that it or like how old were you when you they show you guys like do xing and and clean your but i always try to trick people into like watching me p and do some stuff because they're not really for the film right peeing no because like this against the have like a problem with it well
my blood being on people some places i've seen but i did a movie called girls i for vivid all started by human i and i had a girl taking a pregnancy test and she peed on it on the toilet and they can show it because it's like in a cold environments yeah like a normal environment like pp goes in the toilet not in dana's mouth persons mouth i saw what you think sagai piss in someone's mouth live is really funny i think it's funny yeah i think it's more hilarious than anything that you know somebody like they want to look up to movies movies and i wanna see naked people and they want to see some weird shit but then also kind of want to laugh i see i know this says you know rock and roll it was a the guy that used to do a called extreme elvis oh yeah i've met him i met him yet he's buddies with doug stanhope and doug was opening up for him at this bar and tie goes up there he's fat as fuck really good singer like he's really good and the ban is tight you know it's not the bizarro show and then the guy takes his clothes off
michaels i'm a complete microphallus i mean it's like to the point where people laughing instead i believe it's still up on my website i believe i took a picture of his dick and he's pissed in this woman's mouth he goes who was direct drainage per he's going i do i do she gets an a and i took pictures of the whole thing i too he's put took pictures of them kissing and i'm out pacing in a glass she she drinks a glass like is crazy and he arms off stage and in the crowd and some woman tries to stick a beer bottle up his ass you like pq woman tries to stick a beer bottle up his ass and he goes that's wrong holes writing or get it right here like he helps her stuff this beer bottle up his ass and she panics and just dropped the bottle like she panicked like she thought she would stick her beer bottle up this guys ass and he would freak out like hey what the fuck but he goes you get the wrong hole honey trying out guide you in there and he starts helping her stick a fucking beer bottle up his asshole but that's how deep this guys what did you go yeah so i run into i mean i think that's our
i run into him so fucking laser show running but the preventive show and now he's no longer extreme elvis and i think it's like playing sober now now used to hammer yeah fuck before you do that show an you know i was talking for met him before a while ago like at the bright spot or something talking out the problem ends a show about a guy that i used to know who was a male feminist that's how he would describe himself as a male feminist and it was just like really sad week guy yeah seems kinda like sub e yeah it was very sabi and he was this guy like this really like a bag of jello as a human beings just like an so she left him and so anyway i was mocking this whole idea of like how the fuck could you be a male feminist and after i get off is he goes well i'm a male feminist and i'm like oh wow i would love to be you on that like we should do this on tv online you just said it you just said exactly what i said like a fleshy
ball of jello with a micro phallus and you're a male feminist well of course you are you have fat lady well basically now no offense you're a bad fucker at what you do when when you do that crazy elvis thing but like you know talking about being a feminist like be whatever the fuck you want to be but you can't tell me it's not details you're you're you're like really into the female of the species like you're you're really like thinking of them first like what the you talking about about being a god damn human about being a human across the board sexually what this male female gay straight training gives a shit how about being across the board not a fucking feminist you dumb ass you can't and that when you only want to help women only want to promote women you fucking weak bitch that's weak shit that's we i don't even call myself a feminist i went i would say like i'm not not a feminist because in other things i can get on board with and whatever but you know there's so many different ways that feminism that people will come behind you and just
is this grouping everything together stupid to begin with yes all groups are stupid you know all of it anything were you looking out for one i mean you can't fuck to fix the world i mean there's some things that you have to have like you have to have some sort of a group that's there to investigate claims of racism when it comes to jobs and stuff like that i mean you have to have some groups little impossible group segment that's good sure yeah as little as possible there's little god damn groups as possible that's the key you know people get fucking team mentality mode and just go after i'm on team straight i'm on team queer you know i'm on this i'm on that they can't help it and they get i like at all everybody's gotta lighten the fuck up right dana yeah is not the key this world people say that we'd could fix the world that's like for real it's uh some silly it sounds silly
from a fucking comedian a porn star and a video comedian we had a real obviously so maybe people listen to us 'cause maybe we were a little bit more informed i read this post on a message board the other day about this dude who talked about it smoke pot for the first time in like seven years and he was absolutely terrified to his core and then it brought up crazy thoughts of childhood and he could not handle it and it began open up this fascinating discussion because some people are saying that's normal and some people are saying well you got some shit you got to deal with this fucking with you in the back you had in your in your sober life you're not addressing it but that's why weed is good for you you're supposed to look at everything all the time and a lot of us no we like to bury shit in the back of our hand and try not to dress whatever is fucking with us and we just turn the light on that shit whatever you having your life that's fucking with you that you're trying to put deep in your subconscious marijuana does not allow that it doesn't allow
so people say oh it makes me paranoid not know it's making you think about the shit you need to be thinking about you should be fucking paranoid you should be aware of how vulnerable you are the world is very fucked out i had to like move because people were stealing my mail when i live in silver like i had to like move to a high security because i knew where you were yeah fans like that like i did think i was paranoid but i was like no these people are for real like know who i am and it's kind of trippy did you have happy childhood is uh oh yeah absolutely i my parents were involved in everything pta girl scouting i was figuring there are they say finger skating how do your parents deal with what you do now uhm i don't know i don't know if they deal with it i don't know it's not really something special is a non issue turn on issue yeah
really they like no big deal you just yeah having sex on film yeah wow that's fast and pretty much also see that you know i have a reasonable amount of fall wing and fan base and people who appreciate what i contribute to the porn industry besides just being just a bunch of fake hair you know just you contribute being your personality and your so yeah yeah definitely but my my parents respect my decisions which maybe kind of very foreign concept for most people for a lot of people people's parents tend to tell them what to do and my parents are oppositely told me like were they religious at all no that's the reason my parents are religious yeah what is their background oh my my grandmother is from germany
and i don't think that my mom was raised with religion my grandmother is like a new age is your dad do for living whatever my dad does kind of weird shit like he works at a catering company now but he was like on site security manager of a storage facility and he used to be a ceo of a software company and he quit that to be a fish farmer and then he like to like ranch cattle and oklahoma like my dad is kind of all over the place wow that's kinda cool though my dad is like kind of like a genius at all all sorts of things but like for that amount of time you know this board just like yeah he's like turbo thruster like really why not man it shouldn't be able to just fucking change cruising you like all the time and my mom works company that makes stuff to blow up brown people in florida wow a missile company like yeah some form of arms
don't have to be brown we might jackson yellow people in north korea sure i keep talking shit keep talking shit but rice eating mother fuckers we got some shit for your day my mom is been like in her job for a really long time bunch of people got mad at me people this mma forum because there was kentucky and there was some fights going on in this kid who was a wrestler was fighting this other guy who's kickboxer from italy and he lives in america but there were chair usa usa you and i was like really kentucky my that guy lives in miami right we're all immigrants all right everyone in this fucking country descended from immigrants that no one was here ten thousand years ago it was all ice you fuck all right that's the whole deal with america this guy actually lives here in yellow in usa and you know and people were like saying like you know something wrong with patriotism and you're enforcing your leaves on other people on my gum and making fun of shit i think it's stupid know you're being colored commentary
silly you're yelling at usa what you just watch these guys for their god damn technique and their courage and what the fuck they're trying to accomplish and the difficulty of the task is a great god damn fight between this all american wrestler who beat filled davis ann ryan bader's bad ass fucking wrestler and this italian kickboxer is trying to get his ground game together it's a great fucking fight these you if you if they spit all over the back of the person's head in front of them dumb mouth breed suckers how you know they get mad at you for being upset of the house did you feel about that your your time over in kentucky because i i grew up around there and i i is going through kentucky was always a fun time in louisville is great to louisville flat rate city yeah the comedy clubs fantastic people there are super cool view the work they were super cool it's like it's got this weird so southern sort of the bite like almost hippie thing
going on there's like a lot of like young people there there's a lot of like open minded people and there's a lot of old money and then there's a lot of ghetto yeah so it's this weird combination of ships car no not lexie not in louisville louisville's old money it's like it's a rare part of the south where it's law there's a lot of like really stab lish like social clans and groups and social there's a lot of money really old money money there but a lot of educated people too but there on that show the forty eight there on that show all the time well yeah you're getting jacked in louisville i got i got u verse or agency shows real dead bodies that's so creepy it's dark i watch weird that you can show anybody getting shot in a movie but you can't people really fucking yeah some days are like a woman experiencing sexual pleasure it's okay ok it's do the but like all but like canada god a girl having an orgasm it's very not done yeah
right is it ever happened yeah you never you never see like the girl coming so even if it's the like even like when howard stern to the private parts and the girls like on the speaker like having orgasm and how we're just making the noise i remember that was so shocking when that came out like that was so yeah when that movie came out that was hot when she's sitting on the speaker and he's going to microphone that's interesting that it's not thought of as being very important if you come because it's all leftover barb ranch at least to hold you down by your hair and just shoot a load in you and run away that's what it is that's how people made babies back then let's grow it is grow but it's the reason why men are stronger than women why aren't you strong too you're not
to do so we can rape you easier it's really that simple there's no logical reason why you wouldn't be like god made me tall where were stronger to fight off other men that want to fuck you and kill the babies that's strong that's totally right wrong to rape you and to fight off other men get so you're suppose otherwise he would be strong too why don't you start this guy is russell each other so they get all out of their system you put me in a session that academics haven't even considered yo i haven't even looked into this it so deeply they're scared because of social constructs right we had our severe on his a podcast had a gas that was addicted to going to bath houses mean massage parlors up to get laid use the size name no no no i'm sorry but i have a mom with a mask on yet despite a man mask on yeah did did i almost said his name yeah i know yeah many sorry this is live maybe we should consider not having charlie sheen anyways
i never knew like i always heard the hand job thing where they say handles but he was talking about how there's places here in la many places that he can get just like fucking on hooker said what and he says that he's gotten to the point where he has places that has favorite places with his favorite he's like yeah this is like an l a ten at this one place wow and it's one hundred and fifty dollars he was fucking there sit there and fuck after you do a fifteen minute massage whoa and he says he says and i even bring out the women so they can look like the bunny ranch where they all come and say hi and stuff like that massage parlor is there a thing where you can get you a massage part of your sex massage at the end because i think more boxing writers because the wind down they give you a legit massage and then the jerk you off of the i would take the massage at the end i'm crazy thing is learning yeah i fast out the gate and then i would get the the one oh i see yeah so you would go wow that's interesting for guy i think is the opposite right give me a massage first and then beat me off
because you beat me off i just want to go away i'm done see mean a massage that's good i feel good i'm lives when men have an orgasm there's so fucking instinctive need that you have to overcome to just run like you said you come just to get away true in real life fuck the movies in real life when a guy comes i'm telling you he wants to run away i mean you stay if you love your wife or your girlfriend and you know you have this relationship together but if you don't we don't know each other that well and also do you fucking like me what if i done to snow sometimes sometimes if you really love the girl but there's a lot of times when you're not there's a lot of times when you just want to run especially if you're drinking thinking and you know that somehow another you glad the alcohol and your penis to talk you into some unreasonable situation and then as soon as you orgasm that it becomes clear what the fuck happened
and then you want to run away get me out of here so what i'm trying to say is way better to get the massage first losing then then like good we're done we're done here we're done thank you he also said that out how he got an escort once and it was in this weird small it was a three o'clock in the morning in in he he he only had two options and like on the internet you found like their websites and won the lady was already out doing something else but the other one you know like it which her eyes only and then like so like her leg or something like that 'cause it could show the whole thing and so he's like fuck it i might do this if she had a really nice seemed really nice on the phone or so then he comes over and it was like she she was just like like stab wounds she like her teeth were all fucked up voice sound like pj stands where's that at a at a at a gate here is a link that no and he said it was so bad that like he would like felt like he it was impossible to this guy so then he goes yeah
this thing that i like to do it's where you give me a blowjob i put a blanket over you while i watch porn and she's like you know and then afterwards he's like do you mind if i finish myself up you got me all hot and bothered and just put one leg up over on and just starts fucking masturbating oh ah it's got sceptic tank thio are each of your skeptic dictated that squad podcast listen to that that's so sad i i have a friend he's been addicted to go to those massage parlors forever and he's never had a girlfriend as long as i've known yeah i've known him for more than ten years more than ten years that i've known him all this guy does is he's not a very good looking guy and he's not built very well went bald really young in life and he's never been successful and just has a real hard time he gets real nervous around chicks so he just goes these asian massage places just gets whacked off all that so a good percentage of like it doesn't make a lot of money so the good percentage
this guy makes every week goes just getting whacked off and like he takes them out on dates sometimes he was talking to me about it once we're playing pool it was talking about it's like yeah well you know i'm taking around a date this friday so what you gonna be okay all right so like don't judge of joe no i'm saying do you think is she going to be your boyfriend are you going to be her boyfriend like what's going on like you guys going to a good romantic comedy right there wax off dudes all day and then in love with your but i felt like this i felt like what the way he was telling me it was almost like he had talked her into doing it cuz she don't wanna lose him as a customer i know times are tough you know when you get that eight thousand seven hundred a week coming from one dude you know when you think about it you just do it himself like every other day or something yeah can he'd like to fucking find a fat chick with a mustache and just like look we can fuck each uh
once a week but i have to get really drunk every time i do it and she's like no cash brian get jerked off by cute asian girls what are you talking about he's already plateaued on higher horizon that you don't understand human nature son you're talking some unrealistic nonsense does work that way right that's right joe yeah i'm in traffic today is sponsored by bush lights you totally could be like working for entertainment tonight right now we got user comma can we got it yeah like my legs real name oh that's right like ressam up she had allegri surfer sometimes it seems like sometimes they would go like mary hart's legs were just like greasy like she just had banana oil all over her and shit like that it's not funny man show does that make sense to you being being a woman being away
missing like men like freaking out about body parts and seem like that's why you need to like sell a car some woman with slinky legs like fold them over and gets in the front seat and everybody wants to buy that fucking cadillac there's pussy in that car is some crazy connection what is it like to to be a professional woman like that to be a professional sex symbol do they look at you in ninety nine percent of them are thinking about sex i think it'll sex you've had and what you're selling if i wasn't in the business i'm in i feel like people would probably look at me that way anyway yeah it was because i'm always like i'm trying to talk it out with my coworkers and stuff and i'm like i think this guy just wants to fuck me important star and then like manuel ferrara looks at me goes no idiot they want to fuck you you you're you're hot i'm like okay yeah i can make up whatever back story even if they've seen like a like a digital
image on under computer or not people can like when you see a hot girl you are have a whole your imaginations great run while if i worked with you at bath and body works i would wanna fuck you the whole time i was at that body works exactly why would i i am not i just this is information that i've acquired no with that what you said you're being honest but it's it's also very possible that you want to fuck you because he saw you fuck people in film and i've never once did i have watched her fuck one time on film now that's yeah i was just like you have to stop looking at me naked because we're friends now that just not the way that it goes there's no social taboo between you watching porn that i'm in just 'cause we're friends a lot of people that i find important it's kind of strange there there's lines that they draw you know there's very distinct lines like i remember this
couple that i meant we were doing the man showing his couple came on and they were talking about how they're allowed to fuck other people while they work they're both in porn but then off work you're not allowed to just go round and my fuck paper right and i was like wow distinction like how do you how do you figure that one out you're okay with i'm fucking whoever at work but that was the other thing like one guy was on the set and his girlfriend started sucking his his dick when the camera wasn't running he's like hey what the fuck and he got all mad that's weird how we crazy that's weird how crazy is that he's like i've heard fuck you guys aren't even filming and she's just suck nothing what's up i've actually i've worked with people and they have the same kind of thing where it's like however they want on camera but the guy has to like stroke himself i think he's like getting ready to go like the girl can't help it like free against there it's like maybe they might be
thing people i don't know isn't that crazy but yeah that's just their socially managua have a rule they have ah there's a line that you draw well i i used today a guy in the business and outside of work we didn't fuck around or whatever no and he did some things that i found were questionable and he and he was like there's a camera in the room and i was like you're a fuck that's fucked up that's not the something that's hilarious yeah hold one doesn't count no no but i mean it just you your boundaries are your own and it doesn't matter what you do for a living just because you're a comedian doesn't like no ones allowed to tell jokes in my house you know just that's just not the way that life works but you if you have like kind of contracts like marriage or right you're with somebody and you say okay well we live together now so like i don't want to sleeping with other people even though i do porn for a living do you know
i'm saying it's just yeah what you've arranged between the two of you that's a weird thing a wide range anything why why make something that someone can't do if you're allowing the most sacred of sacred things you're allowed person to fuck other people right on on film why not just allowed to be themselves why put any boundaries just here come here at night and and this is where we live 'cause i don't know if sex is not that sacred to some people maybe maybe like the people that i work with they don't have my address right you know what i mean and maybe that's a little bit more might try to see my security is more sacred to me than actual the actual physical active so that's true right yeah that's true like pleasure is like would you get mad every time you masturbate to the video or you know you know what i'm i'm saying is put put a boundary on though why put it not necessarily i see what you're saying you're saying you know what they're virgo and they're just you know they want things to be a certain way you know so in conclusion let people do what the fuck they want to do and
and someone who you're compatible with instead of trying to morph someone to your expectations that's the number one problem with relatable yeah people find people that are incompatible with them and they try to make him fit and it doesn't fucking work that way one per it's a control freak in the other person's anal and whenever they don't would if they don't want to do the thing that they've agreed that they don't want to do you know like it's not compatible they've agreed like negatives any negatives he took me level level webster compatibility lies that they both for what reason or another think it's okay to do porn but outside of work they agree to sleep with you leave them there and they can write together that's a definitely a compatibility yeah good point yeah they're all agree if that it's done with necessarily judgments or whatever i'm not saying there's anything wrong with it i'm just saying it's it's an odd thing that you don't have a boundary on someone fucking people on camera but
we do have a boundary with them doing it for pleasure on their own right with another purse because that might be emotional what are is or what right my story isn't what it's it's understood when you're not really about that right exactly porn is acting and athleticism athleticism as winter calling ass fire monkey i'm a crazy person monkey you know and it's not comfortable it's it's not for you it's for the camera it's you know it's and it's hard to do something that does not feel good and act like you feel like it feels good like you literally get fucked sideways sometimes it really fucking hurts it
let you ever stretch it out before shoots you guys you might lead to a little eggs and stuff like that what is it like what if i don't need to i have like a huge but right but hold is it easy for you to poop fad never never can you just sit down and i take care of it like three seconds and i just want war is coming off a mushroom good day anyway yeah yeah you have to have you here ty toilet seven airtight toilet she puts her squeeze their legs together and cover their snatch with their hands so that shit doesn't blast down through the bottom of their legs only got nice blows out with broken fire just blame it on take a shower every time she shits
this is the back of her legs look like she went skidding down a muddy hill there's no container ship her ass holes like the lincoln tunnel for one man roast of dana d armand it looks like it looks like the back of it looks like the back of your shirt when it's raining outside when you're on your bike and the mud is skidded up the back of your shirt oh you're so immature i'm laughing because i'm disgusted not because of the malarious discussing it myself as well as horrible as it so now i showed the but you're not you're not in the butt sex in real life i am are you good at sex in real life like is it the same as the same where you're pretty better on film because i like to exaggerate my movement right why don't you do that in real life lazy i gotta be very stationary or you like i'm only on that i like to be like boiled down and like smosh are you serious down into a tempurpedic bed yeah well hey i them a little bit yeah
not not really dumb fuck doesn't make sense naturally genetically you need a strongman to turn you on like being you want to you want to feel that this guy wanted to take it he could take it sure that's what is natural your big girl not bad not in a bad way you are a good specimen if you want to make war your children you'd be good for us i do what i did for your children with flexible bottles you have the perfect dna for yeah is it hard to it too to be to date people as a porn star do you find or did is is it like more of a challenge to you it depends on the person i dated a guy a couple of years ago and when we met like he knew what i did and stuff like that and i did not want to be involved with him and then we
word sleeping together after a really long time we kind of like wore me down a little bit and then after that it was like kind of fucked out we weren't off to good start i'll admit but i get bored too so after we did like started dating or fucking fucking and dating he then like looked at porn that i was in and decided that he wanted to be a spaz about it i don't i don't know like knowing you do those types of things i don't know i'm yeah you already knew but now that now you want to be bothered because your drama queen has nothing to do what i do is just that this is some feelings were awesome feelings are also getting you know starting now it before it was like zero feelings as want to you now the now it's starting to cut like love gets involved in i think that's probably the whole process of wearing you down it's like i don't judge you like i think it's it's fine it's like really great because you're really successful and that
nose dived into like this up those things for a lot of men it's very important when they meet a girl that they're sexually attracted to they want that grow to like them and i think that is the root of a lot bullshit and the guys don't even realize they're doing it it's a genetic thing it's a predisposition to wanting to be sexually attractive and so they start only someone who did not and then they get into the relationship and then it's a couple months in and their relaxed and comfortable in there like why am i with this crazy bitch i don't even i'm not even into this and yeah yeah it's like there's there's a lot of dudes that are just trying to put it together like they don't have the luxury of actually being honest and trying to like meet someone that they actually like there's so caught up in the game of trying to fuck a check and so did call for them when they finally get one attack or they get it in there like got one good okay what
i tend to be doing to do this i'm not a vegan i want yeah these and stuff so there's a good deal there you know the insular they meet a girl that's willing to them like once every couple months and they got to work hard to to take it back out yeah i'm going to the person to be someone and not leading plates just sacks it was a bright rely where do we we do together is love that's just a movie you're making right you know yeah that drama guy he was like i was like being really depressed or something like that and he he wanted to lay it on me like you can't live inside your own pain
and i love you and i was like get the fuck out of like you're creeping me out you're being weird i don't know where you heard that shit the fuck out of my heard that there is something here that says if you think that says yeah i was like you're full of shit get out back the worst delete my number sexually unattractive thing ever is someone is full of shit yeah it's just so gross people are full of shit like oh god it's such a such a plumber you know when you hear someone say some nonsense and then you have to markham and then they get mad at you from mocking them and then it all fucking falls apart can you write poetry and it was nonsense it was nonsense it was i mean it was her form of expression but it was so clearly affected and fake and just designed to like fucking fire off all the rights and it was just so artificial so clear so clear
this is a bullshit that she was slinging it was so offensive poetry snob though do you like high quality public makowski you know what i love about bukowsky you know i mean it's a lot of of stories really dark poet but it's that's a fuck what that guy's thinking about so you know that is his real life it's really thing that's already require of an artist in flames me is when i think someone is trying to pretend to be someone else there's a human or a singer or a comedian or an actor feel like i feel like i feel me you're bullshitting me it's offensive you treat me your phone crazy poetry hooker things here intelligent you're mad at me that i'm i'm laughing at this nonsense tell us a horror story from be doing porn what's what's one thing that sticks out just you fucking like you just awful kids did you ever like say ok never again i used to do a lot of like bdsm stuff where i was
sub that is explained everybody who's not crazy bdsm most people don't have any idea what that means bonded well it's like masochism can you say a sub you are the one that they torture submissive and dominant bondage and dominatrix some shit like that yeah it's like a code i don't know whatever it's like being in the army talk about yeah it's like extreme things we try to invent little shortenings of them yeah so yeah i would electrocuted type in like the head with different where nipples everywhere nipples
can your body would like it because it has my inside a on my ball all mine yeah i like while in like very strict bondage and thought my god well well well aging you know and it was something that was really legitimately interested and when i was in my early twenties and it's something that i thought that maybe you know so i consider myself to be a a kind of a tough person i felt like if i if i met these challenges that would prove how tough i was got damn now yeah i don't know little executed inside your butt hole and what percentage of the population is ever been electrocuted inside their butt and you're one of the few i mean they've proud brave 10s units and that i mean they're sold like as medical equipment and stuff like that i'm sure a fair amount of people have gotten their hands on them you know and so when you get in i don't know that i don't have the numbers the first thing you do you said well let me stick this thing in my arm turn his vagina was at nine volt battery on your asshole shocks
like put a pitchfork and you're right when you're about to calm stick nine fold up your shop do you like iron man loads you don't know though oh i think i do it makes modem sounds yummy penis make the guy shoot longer loads electric it is but i think i've had more experience with more penis so you i don't know that there's no more than willing to submit to you on this the alpha in the entire room and now me so how long did this whole session take with her electric vagina on your asshole oh man first i called wired pussy
comedy wired so it's all executing is right it's like it's like ron one female some dumb and they allow you can they like was it and yeah and they fly like you play games like who can take the most like tricity or they'll chase blindfolded and partially tied up women around with a cattle prod that makes noise and you can either go toward it or away from the sound but if you go away from the just when i thought i reached the bottom of the darkness in and yeah now that electrocute your best website started have you have you ever had your pee hole fucked
bowl of your scenario you've seen that what about this before yeah there's videos out there of guys fucking girls is peoples like really small and it stretches just like your asshole no no i'm very sensitive in my keyboard in china don't don't say never you gotta reach goals you gotta you gotta build ryan like modifying my body i went through a phase of like piercing and stuff like that when i was younger but you have some tattoo above the cookie ideal but i mean removed and that is so fucking is it right then any like ball execution of ever gotten really believes that had removal is so painful it arm like agitate the ink molecule in your skin and makes it exploded with each treatment it gets smaller and smaller and it grow it metabolizes out of your body it's nine you have to wait a couple months in between sets it's just like long after you could forget how much fucking pain your in you have to go and do it again fuck that
i'm just keeping waterfalls just like old yeah yeah around my belly breathing i'm going to sleeve that i'm doing on my right arm and i have an old tattoo up here that i have to get removed not coming off gay black big black box it's just black flag testing how much how much worse is it than the actual tattooing it's so much worse 'cause you have to go twenty tire means will end at minds it's like and it's like it's just like a fairy it's like you could feel like the impact of the laser going into your skin it feels like being snap of the rubber band really hard it instantly burns it makes your skin swell up and not only when you get a tattoo is kinda scratches the surface of your skin a when you get laser it it's like a
acting the color inside your skin so the blood kind of seeps out like a sponge no i'm going to i'm going to wait ten years or away from the technology to get a little bit better he just turned me the fuck off that laser tattoo i'm thinking about cooking my arm right down like what am i doing damage your skin right now i mean it save it doesn't scar doesn't now that i mean that's the purpose of it being such a long slow process i mean you could just cut it off if you wanted to but i wouldn't say that that's the best ide ever so let me ask you this if wiredpussy dot com calls you up next week and says hey we're looking to do is shoot you done with that yeah i would top i've gotten back to be the dom in torture girls in central because i feel like i can confidently say i know what i'm doing i wouldn't do something somebody else that i haven't had done to myself look at like no one else like i know oh and if they're not a bad ass bitch like me then they don't get fuck would you ever do fart born yeah for all the time in my movies
movie it's just like when you get fucked in the ass like your butt is open and gaping is like the big thing where they want to see they want to see your lower colon they want to see it all needs why yeah yeah fuck yeah i don't know i don't know why people like it they just do and i you know and just whatever so like the air goes into your chasm and then you also kind of fart it out it's not like i fart like i'm eating cana beans like hobo right like my farts on the accent every accidentally ever sprayed no no i think i've accidentally peed on people at work and then we like i'm squirting or whatever and i don't know what is squirting exactly is it really when in the these were girls like shooting obviously you can see it coming up for p hole right i am i'm assuming that a lot of people that watch these movies don't know what the and it looks like or anything and they don't know that where the all the liquid shooting out of the girls vagina area her her
love zone or whatever nerds call it but isn't a pee hole hey but hold on a second because that's where it would come out anyway because isn't a pee hole like literally like when a woman gets testosterone treatment become a man her clit grows become like a small piece pussy bone and that the penis is obviously where any sexual ejaculate would come out of so of course it's going to come out of where you p i don't really know what is it is it real i mean this is i mean i did i used to date a girl that juice on me and i was like in my belly button layout in it was it wasn't p though it was just it was like because roth you know when the womans vagina gets moist snot not dripping her pee hole is coming from the i don't think this is moistening it's not lubricant that's what squirting supposed to be in really coming out of the pee hole it's p
oh yeah i think that it was supposed in a lot of times you see like this spiderman like trick that they do when they like finger in the pussy and i like press like on spiderman so you do yeah fingers like once part of his web yeah this is like the axel braun method i watched instr videos and i was like what are they doing and they're basically just like pushing on the bladder and just forcing come to come out personal is exactly what it is like if you had to force piano somebody that's exactly how you would do it so that's where all that spring is so there is so girls are spraying undos there pissing all over him yeah unless they like an extra juicy jeez spa or something like that like i'm not going to say like i'm not going to say female ejaculations a myth because i'm not a doctor and i can't say that i mean and you know put these get wet and some pushes air water than others which
doing extra here dan the armand here level after not a doctor all in now can you put can you put a condom on a dick with that just putting in your mouth and in that track i am not i can not even remember the last time i used a condom god damn don't worry about diseases now i get tested every three weeks so how do you keep clean when your dress everybody gets tested every three weeks right then you have three weeks pornstar though jesus christ many how many don't dicks can you be exposed to in three weeks i work with mark would twice last week so it's like the same same wiener same same wiener say week you guys develop like a relationship when you have like yeah on screen yeah i mean i think the people i work with are cool it's not like i'm like like i'm so super horny for you let's do things after that so many of 'em like he's married to french escaler you know and they were fucking awesome i know both might work with both
how many the dudes that are in porn wanted to do mainstream things we couldn't make it and have like some sort of a weird thing where they i don't know it seems to be like a lot of guys are musicians and they're all like trying to get together like a band with other dudes slinging dick yes you call it would be a badass name for a band that swinging dick dick i i don't maybe i'm a i don't know maybe i'm just like i'm at work i'm doing my work things but i didn't really ask people too much about have you ever worked with tyler night yeah very good friend of mine we were actually just both on star trek the next generation a triple pretty digital sins and revolution acts coming soon it was like a big he was jordy yeah she's a huge star trek fan are working i was stoked i called my dad and i was like i'm reading for the part of ensign ro for the star trek priority and he was like that's so cool and i was like no dad if i don't get this part i'll die like so
for seriously like no i need i this has to be my or i'm breaking out tyler is a friend of mine from jitsu these are really good writer have you ever read any of this stuff now he's got a blog online and some of it is is very he's cute and he's smart and he's very polite is very well spoken he was on the podcast we had him on and he's very he's a fascinating but i already knew that from talking to him at jujitsu and stuff but his writing is great really interesting stuff and his writings about the poor business he's got this one story that he wrote about a gangbang that it's just like you fucking feel the loads on the floor like as you're reading it you feel like the sticky room you feel the heat of all these guys behind me does a masterful job of describing this fucking incredibly gonzo bizarre film that they're doing there that you to get paid the box and you wait in line you like one of one hundred guys waiting to you know you're jerking yourself
off as you're getting up this girl who just covered in loads there's loads all over the ground everywhere you walk there's load it just like slippery and wet step three come every lows everywhere you i've never done one of those little signs that say slippery when wet that they have to put up around the woman and i got a restaurant on the off who's the first person to that was in houston she the first or the way i am now i florida's probably before i was born because the numbers you just keep going up you know one point time times like the most people i think she had sex with like two hundred saks annabel chong and she's got a vacillating documentary and like you she's very intelligent she very unusual she was uh i think she was a student at ucla might be wrong u c l a r u s c but she was like she's an intelligent person and she just had this weird desire to test the boundaries of acceptable sexuality by doing a gangbang film but it's really interesting
it was it was because it was you know they really got into into like her purse psychology she who she is like that is a complex sort of a fucking case for this woman wants to experience the ultimate taboo now in my agent called me one time when he was like what's the most number of go suck in one like one time and i was like i don't fucking care you know and he was like no how about eleven i was like pine like what difference does it make if i eleven dudes in the same day or in pairs of one student well just imagine after like the third or fourth giant black cock your lips would started getting numb in your head though is eleven cock days that let's you like fucking like the same amount of time when you stretch your mouth on him like that shit would that seems like it would make your lips numb and huge mouth i do have a huge now it's good for my comes in handy now did you know that you wanted to be a porn star when you were younger is this no
yeah i am actually did like part of this as like a bit of with the midnight show go guys they didn't this your life bob guccione e this is the midnight show grab you see be ok you know how nick and stuff and ah e it was like oh this is your life bob guccione and and i come out and look how i've been such a big fan of you for forever and stuff because when i was likes in the first grade probably six years old i found a lack of playboy magazines that were in the woods might might know they were my uncles my uncle stayed in the attic time others island yeah they were just like in our room and and i remember i took i took one of those magazines to school to first grade and i was like sure this is what a naked he looks like you know i was like such a boy was it a tomboy when i was that age but but
and then i was like this is like what a sexy lady looks like and so i want to grow up and this is you know i want to turn out like this a sexy lady like that's kind of like that appealed to me i thought wow she's she's gorgeous it's all made up shoes you know pretty and naked and then nice boobs you know and i was like yeah that like really appealed to me from you attracted to girls before you started doing movies yeah i and i also thought like if i if i don't turn out to be this i'd like a fail safe my brain i was like if i don't turn out to be a sexy lady i would at least want to be with one like have one like as my girlfriend or like just you know be in the presence of that because it was appealing to me and i found it attractive i'm a gay yeah i came on your show because i want to say that i'm out big and i have a ask boner and they take it
so how did you get into your first film how did it get older how long you been doing this i shoot seven years seven years twenty four when i got in i'll be thirty two inches we doing before that i was a stripper i was a drunk for two and how did what someone approach yoon seo and i like the way you know absolutely not no actually quit drinking i think i already told this story in your show maybe i quit drinking and i got fired from being a stripper and i had been thinking about applying to this porn site because at fucking machines on it and this is how we got into the business like a mish means just sure morbid curiosity of fucking a robot and just really thinking about it i think and he's like masturbate in the shower right but fucking a robot in fucking a robot on the internet i totally and i heard it's awful by the way was
your experience like fucking machine i had a lot of fun talk to girls as fuck robot actually talked about it today no joke this comes up all the time for brian this is like you just have that face that people feel like they get approached even talking about fucking robot seems like that guy kinda nerdy things one of those so yeah i just ended up applying to that site and that's how i got to do all the bondage bondage stuff is because it's same company around hug titan wired pussy and this whole and they even have a female wrestling say ultimate surrender where they have women wrestling z got the market cornered on kinky pain shit yeah absolutely weird business you sleep on the armory up in san francisco they it's basically a castle you know when i saw that online or on a television show whether there was some sort of an expose a on it about how much money they make and how big their businesses which enormous but they also they really
prove that neighborhood they give back to their community they do a lot of stuff you know they they open their jewel court to when they have parades and shit like people can set up their floats they open their private business to the community do things or have swap meets inside there not like it's like a crazy jungle of naked people running around like fucking like something in the studio people in offices like on computers san francisco is a place where that would be accepted in san francisco in life it is the most open minded city in the whole country would be surprised they were in the wall street journal talking about like people are there people
we know there's people fucking in there and it doesn't matter there's always going to be some people like that but the amount of people that were simple where where do you think their neighbors came from the amount of people that would support it would be much larger in san francisco than anywhere else of course you're always going to come across people that are very vocal that want to fight something but all in all san francisco's the most open minded city i think in the whole country we should do stuff i mean could you imagine that happening in chicago with there's a whole block filled with people that are tying people up and fucking them with rubber robots and shit you know it could only take place in like san francisco i don't think there's any other place that that would accept something like new york maybe i mean it seems like new york has a lot of fucking at the bondage club new york and la would be only other options i think and i think that he met with a lot more resistance in like europe yeah anywhere berlin budapest i was in berlin and i turned on the television and not berlin over house
over housing i turned on the television and there was a gang bang on tv just a full full gang bang let's just no warning just flipping through the channels and the yeah there's ten people walking in a room like wow this is wild like they have really different attitude about it they just show this shit on television very intense what you doing there brian i just looked at the basis for allison chains died when what mike starr i don't know him so you don't care he was on celebrity rehab i don't know if you remember him yeah yeah it looks like they found his body in salt lake city lives winning still alive barely doesn't have tiger blood i don't know his a adonis dna is not a freaking rock star from mars well i guess that guy probably didn't have to pay a girl thousand dollars to have sex with me
this is probably as he's got a lot of money shit make things happen the rockstar tracing is charlie so comes like a doughy like slippery sweaty guy with five kids that's what i see when i see charlie sheen i would rather pick a rockstar them like somebody has fuckin five kids with the crazy thing charlie sheen calls himself a rock star but he's on this really what family dad for like the longest he's on this completely family sitcom i mean it's like this really bland you know kind of did up to you know it's no edge to the excellent like really vanilla you know yet number one comedy for some reason i talked to my friend today he's watch is every week and i'm like really you watch that show you guys that did charlie sheen and like a gay guy yeah yeah but he's like well it's like it's the exact same show every week you know it's like the same premise every week but it's one of those shows you could
end of watch you know and it's not easy to one smooth move and able to not enough well you know i mean i mean reality television has proven that you don't really need to be that funny to get people to watch it you just need to be able people need it needs to come apart of their everyday existence they get like what's going on ice road truckers the boys are on a slippery road again that he comes in ice road truckers there's a show about slippery roads i mean that can exist you can have a show about anything and a sitcom that's like been around for awhile while it's fairly decent got a few good laughs in it but i bet for charlie sheen like like he's smoking coke and banging whores and then it's going in doing this super bland television show i bet that built up inside i have him i bet that like made him go more over the edge i really was pretty much himself though much himself though and show me it might have been a vanilla show but he still was a drunk guy
i just fucked a bunch of chicks i mean it was like it wasn't he wasn't really office rd road a little it was what can he yeah hi noon on wallstreet street yeah she downs i don't see that either charlie sheen i've seen barrel the wheeler these late in that does it yeah is that they are this and he's like oh yeah he's like the really hot god it's in trouble and the girls there with them jennifer grey she's she's all excited about him what was the movie that charlie should've kept that knows right yeah there wasn't a bad note just that's your nose hooker the movie that you really hot shots you than scary two four what was the mood that he was right the only i sheen played himself but it played like him like he was friends with the main character in the john malkovich yeah john malkevich that was an awesome cameo with him in it you remember that no badly as far as i can tell it plays themselves
yeah i don't know charlie sheen ec put soon he's about a mother haven't thing that she wall street bad it's very good i'll still hold up all fucking good you know what holds up dude silence of the lambs holds the fuck yeah i watch silence of the lambs overnight it's a good a good movie still it still holds mission in the basket yeah it's good man it's it's well written it's well ave girl dude fucking anthony hopkins was a bad mother in that movie still you know he's become like this guy that does like these movies at soccer played the wolfman's dad i mean the wolfman dad did you see that my demon in every movie and you didn't see the wolf mountain dew no but he was also in super mario brothers wasn't it wasn't something fucking retarded moving man even in the wolf man which is a terrible movie he still like has these scenes these moments where he's just this bad mother fucker he just he just do it crappy ass movies but you go back to
silence of the lambs and you realize what he's capable of if he gets a good script if he gets a good part anthony hopkins smash is it out of the ballpark in that mood fucking smashes into he so on like it crackles i can make you nervous for her while she's talking to him if you fucking believe one hundred that dude has murder in his mind when he's talking is talk yeah every cop is is a lot of thinking about eating her he's thinking about cutting yeah he's allowing himself to go to some crazy da place where he's acting when you could tell like that's really what he's fucking thinking about man he could turn it on he can go to that dark crazy psychotic worst case scenario human example he can go there in his mind that's the difference managed it's like comedy man it's like you have to really be fucking thinking about what you're saying there's not not the words and the noises that represent certain things to me i got to know that you're thinking about these things as you're saying you know
that's the difference between a great performance and a performance that this kind of mediocre and can trick dummies you know if some really nailing it i told a twenty two year old actor that got here from la i was like acting is just pretending like you don't know what you're going to say next and he got so offended and you end up moving back to tennessee can't take the heat down the kitchen bitch listen if that's all that set this fucking start telling him that acting is fake i would say that even if you can lie you can act and if you can lie to a crazy girlfriend you can act under pressure it's not that hard it's just pretending the hard thing is auditions auditions are way harder because you have and pretend that it's happening when you're in this really unrealistic scenario are sitting in this office and there's people in desk chairs and their face can you with paper in their hand there reading off the paper and you're responding like it's really like this is just like this is just too strange just doesn't it doesn't rain real to me i really do well in this type
scenarios have you done any 3d movies for real yeah yeah i just did three penthouse movies and how how do they differ from like doing remove that they make you do weird angles like you have to spread your lips out towards the cameras or something would disrobe or something you like sort of throw your clothes tored the camera or kind of like put like one leg off the bed like kind of tangling tord camera or something so what about one guy shoot loads do they shoot him out the camera i don't don't really notice i'd like to look like in the zone you gotta be careful if you're nothing hello behind you in on a small board member has to be like eight feet away for for the three d effect to work right so it you got it you got it like clearly you've never seen very far away in the distance yeah listen about some do what did some dudes eat like peter n what does i eat to make so much sperm it's ridiculous supplement that what it is saying and my ex boyfriend told me also pc exercises like the
muscle that use like stop your pee all right you know like like a key goal like a woman has a kegl muscle like the pc muscles what guys have i guess apparently if you just do that a lot it can strengthen the muscle and you'll see further really doing it right now practicing some people just drink egg white egg whites yeah it looks like loads loads will come out more when i had some wives tales type shit yeah yeah that's probably psychics fiberglass magical math problem placebo effect like the secret but with loads yes the secret met on your vision board huge believe the longest load ever what do you think is the or this anyone's ever shoot a load because i remember shooting myself in the face once when i was sixteen and being pulled out and
my heart is like looking at a flat fair enough and i still do that make it rain all the time i got a why is this wording on my forehead yeah sometimes i don't know what really farley what's the forget on the lam anybody's ever shot a load is the furthest is it even five i wanted more i would say so i mean it depends if you have an arc depends archers like if there's a headwind yeah yeah it's like trying on how long your dick is 'cause a guy like you know some giant dick john homes type dude we got him an advantage six inch reach advantage like jon jones but maybe it loses some pressure going through that last night i like the way you think scientifically maybe a shorter barrel
you've got a lot makes sense right like a thirty eight special but it seems like a rifle would be much more accurate right yeah here's a little tip by the way if you put a little bit of green i can function thank you saint paddy's day and you know the the same paddy's day this is awesome surprise they put a little bit of green food coloring your dick before you have sex and we shoot out actually is green yeah that's good and what if you make a baby and it's fucking looks like the hulk green bay because that could asshole what if you ruin the baby what if it gets into spermatozoa and a spermatozoa get some crazy green signal and shoots it into the egg and some under the kid becomes great i would be fucking awesome what if it's ever happened before i mean i mean if any not that but i mean if anybody's ever like done something where like the kid came out of funky color because of that like i know sure that people have probably been tricked to think that like maybe a white woman having a half black baby in the driver seat
what is a gene honey back in the old days right that's the story of jesus right i mean the story of jesus most likely is it mary's a whore right yeah that's the story of jesus right in that the consumption rights come on bitch crazy shit is this but back then the google days you just have to accept it maybe she was raped by one of those strong she asked you dressing like that and those roads rope but she had a dirty test two and back then they only lived to be like thirty you gotta get your rapings and why he could gosh this is a horse you guys you had an electric charge inside your asshole this is horrible tual this so is this conversation we've all agreed to be here and so these people have agreed to tune in two thousand three hundred and sixty of 'em right now regretting their choice you guys it's cool not is cool that's a lot of
taxi one thousand two hundred and sixty alot more than that when we listen to the whole thing watching this right now you've done other podcasts marin i just did the nerdist podcast i'll see what's fascinating about you is like as far as like girls that are in your business much more known for your personality than any of the other ones thanks i think none of it is those videos that you do yeah right like the video you bring things that yeah what else did you have you have a mail back we read people's email yeah when my when my space when i when my face was before was like just a spam graveyard i would get like this really super heinous hate mail all that was so just so many different levels of wrong and rude and mis spell old english and english yeah just like really mean like i hope you get fucking cancer and your brain and i've aids 'cause you're a whore and you should
jesus in your life and it was like that makes no sense right jesus christ would not fucking waste his time to wish me dead of aids and cancer like yeah which is described to try to help you out you fuck you how about you dude ignorance is well there's a lot of that out there when you're allowed to be anonymous it's a very uh normal situation gross and unnatural situation in human behavior were supposed to like we we get rewards and we get pleasure and we get all this from interacting with each other when you're interacting with each other completely anonymously through like wires and so one you can take them down a peg and say something really mean dude i get that all dang it everyday on twitter there's always some do she do that says something and just block him i don't have time i'm not gonna argue with your sound like we we're we can't spare followers yeah two hundred thousand something i would thirty seven thousand something i mean it's cool and that i would rather have one that falls me that's nice the so yeah two one eight
one million people want to be cunts i would stop being on twitter so rude it's fun though the cool people way way way outnumber the heads and like you get like really cool interact like last night i wrote on twitter that charlie sheen was reminding me one hundred times always talking and i said we right outside of barstow when the drugs began to take hold and then i got like hun kids and hundreds of tweets of people quoting hunter s thompson bonds from the book it was fun and the way it was really could let's get down to brass tacks how much for the ape and they just kids just kept coming over and over again i'm like this is fucking awesome like this is like a really interesting thing to interact with like minded people hurt people on the internet yes yeah i have a message board and i want you to be apart of it 'cause you would fit in like a fucking above it's a great mess
sport in its all psychos and weirdos and you're a moderate are notes on joerogan dot net will make your i'll make you a moderate are for sure we need more women we only have a couple of women moderators i gotta make sure that you can handle it first yeah you just can't you can't snap and go crazy yeah you can get in arguments with people it's not worth it but when people are douchebags i send him to the retard room i have two rooms i have like one is like the main the main forum you can go to there's a combat sports forum flick mma stuff and then there's a a regular forum and then there's a podcast form and then there's special ed and special ed is if you're a douche bag i think you should let you use their student id thing about we did yeah you want to insult people time for no reason get in the toward general me yeah but because of that we like established a pattern and accepted like levels of communication and was really cool it's a fascinating fucking shit fascinating fucking shit comes out of there you know there's so many
there's a story that i read on there the other day about these new fun guy that they found in the is rainforest that turns ants into zombies it takes over the ants brain answer herbal anyway well that's why there there there there to keep the ant population of bandits fungus grows inside an antibody rewire trails into it right out of it it grows out of its head in his dead aunt juice out of it and it also causes other ants to cannibalise the cannibalize each other and there's four different types of them and then when one bullet ant will find that this fungus is in did they will drill it may feel it and take a deep into the woods even in jungle now it's like they they know what the fuck is a fascinating shows like on life narrated by oprah winfrey i think was it really i think that i think that was she was like the generic version of planet earth such a bad ass bitch i was watch i watch the oprah network
about fascinates me i watch it every day yeah i got a tv in my gym does work on the gimbals on what you know i was watching the open networking i was watching her so there's that she was a considering whether or not she should have nadia suliman on our show whether they should help her and they decided to get someone to come on and help finally financial should help her interesting no it's interesting listening the oprah like how she talks and how she thinks i you get behind that one like she's like she really is all about reaching out and helping people be the best person they can be and love but that's really what she's into it's so easy to criticize her it's so like the cliche she's on tv all the time you know it she dislikes it since he's an easy target but when you look at like what she does when she is i'll have mother yeah you know oprah is like why like everyone would hate the shit out of her if she wasn't like with the amount of money that she has it if she was like being like charlie sheen is people would be like fuck you you
black got this bitch translate life imagine if she was talking about the rockstar like i'm like a frickin rock star from mars hang out with my friends if anybody is a rock star from mars it's oprah she has some man that's just like in the shadows and shuts his whole that god isn't even talking less spoke steven sits around waits he waits three spaces behind her and he doesn't say shit unless she asks him a question big aerial us anymore they're not together anymore yeah i don't think they are they'll finally force it out i think that yeah yeah full gail that's that's the rumor and that's what's up that's cool i mean that the own station has like a bunch gay friendly stuff they had a great show the other day i was on the oprah network and it was all about transsexuals it was very by opening man to look into it 'cause i have a friend whose son is becoming a transactional his son is about to change from a man to a woman it's really
because it sounds about the change from a man to a woman and his son is like into girl still so the sun is like becoming a very very bizarre and he's going to go apparently i don't know if he's going to go through the operator i don't know what the entire full story is but they had this whole show dedicated to it and they had some kids there was a boy that was like a little boy okay he looked like he was like over eight years old and he was wearing a dress and he want girl a girl and i'm like whoa you know know the younger you start the more convincing you can be if you just avoid going through the whole male puberty thing you stand a chance of being a more convincing women your transition yeah maybe i mean if you can really be sure of your choice at that young age but it's got you talk to the parents and it's like very convincing what they're saying it's not it's so easy if you're a normal gender oriented person i don't think anybody has that where you're like seven years old you're like i am changed i'm trans gender it's not a phase it's not a fucking raise i agree with you but who knows if it's a part of what
going on as you're young and then as your hormones kick in as you become eighteen and nineteen maybe see no i'm just a gay man you know maybe maybe it's like that simple maybe you will transition what i'm saying is i mean i don't i don't think you should really necessarily be fucking with your hormones until they settle in i mean i can understand someone being a grown adult and saying ok i be a woman a fake this long too long this is what i want to do but a child i don't even know what what the i was gonna any how you could you imagine if you do you know like that's probably normal for street do you know what you know and if i turned out to be like a completely straight person i probably wouldn't be unlike lusting over nudie magazines and like showing them to people and being like you have to cut a little game change like a little gig a girl all right you're talking about children i think you have to account for change you know i'm not saying you should put completely disk this you know kind of the idea of this is really a girl trapped in a boy's body what i'm saying you have
account for change like as far as like adding more most of their body and stuff like that seems like a really radical choice and one of these kids was ten years old and they were given more putting all sorts of crazy medison in their kids and there's like for whatever you know kitty program right you right you know which is another factor i mean it's better i think it was would be better if a child was like i know this about myself instead of like some going my kid is unreasonable like because they let the tv baby sit and then like pump your kids pull over to lynn because they're hyper they're just maybe undisciplined i have a next door neighbor that used to live down the street that was written up their kid and it was really really fucking your kid up more than listening to them when they try to identify their sexuality or their gender the kid was not a bad kid the parents were terror they were terrible parenting and the kid was lost lausten the kid always see to me like they just wanted someone to tell them what was up give him a hug tell him what was up little so the most los kids ever because their parents were a fuck at holy wreck they would yell at each other in public and it was just a disaster and they started
the kids up it was like i was living next door to zombies is like look at this did the zombie but these people have been taken over by sports i mean that those pills might as well be the can spores that jack those ants the same thing it just takes so it's a chemical thing that happens to a yeah where it takes over their brain rewires it and makes them think and behave totally different and then also kids were like these little slack jawed zombies i was like wow they don neutered their fucking kids brains yeah you know it's fucking crazy crazy how easy it is to have that sort of that sort of power to just do that to your kids i know another person who i know his kid is not fucked up and he's got his kid on some sort of riddle and shit because his kids too active 'cause his kids fucking alive and they're older they didn't have the kids so they were looking to these i can't keep up keep up at all so they have this fucking connecticut your kid whatever it is nothing is nothing wrong with this kid i've talked to him he's just but wild little motherfucker so what are they
but they got 'em all up up it's like alright good luck what is how many generations and we had of people that were pulled up like this though no i don't think so was social engineering mean prozac came into to mind when i was i believe when i was in high school the first but then the before that was like institutionalizing people in the body lobotomizing people shock there should be like a blue iris right but she's never normal after that but it's never really extensive with his lawyers get shea electroshock therapy repeatedly let's try to cure porn a lot of people blue irises she's on stern show a lot and old school porn stars and she passed away she passed away yeah but there's a difference between the few people that are so completely out of control that they need to be institutionalized to people that don't like their job so they give you a so they don't feel like shit at the end of the day every day because there's a lot of people that are just doing that they are physically not healthy there dyott sucks they don't exercise and they do
job that sucks and they wonder why they feel depressed the other day i mean it's real simple you don't need prozac i need a new fucking life i mean that's what you need to do you need to you need to figure out what the fuck you really want to do and realize that you're only here for x amount of years so more time you spend not moving in the direction of your actual interest the more your fucking hate yourself going to be depressed it's just natural but they don't say that they give you some fucking pills there's a lot of people that need pills should i might do it oh i see i did take over from fucking each other that's why join our cult or do you want this is my orient yes you want to be in you know that it might be something that wasn't what are you been drinking i need funny chicks and you totally invited if you want to be in you can be in our call at anytime definitely are cult is all you have to do is just don't be a douche bag it's so simple right right i don't know what you do our little but it's natural you do
look at how many people are yelling at you look at how many people point to you and sending you shitty emails all day it's natural to be on the defensive and start fucking with jennifer aniston is natural so harmless so i think it's so funny get chelsea handler was like angelina jolie's a cunt because you like fries with jennifer anderson and i was like oh look at chelsea handler sticking up for jennifer instantly chelsea forever oh my god no chelsea since the early days of one of the reviews of her book or first book was my horizontal life she's i love party girls i yes to me i think of the party takes every kind of people of those long to serve a term that people still when are you gonna to get her on the podcast we need to get her way too busy i wouldn't even ask her she's got a sitcom going on she's got some sort of a reality show going on about her show and then she's got her show she's way did you about their show that's show really yeah that's show really show but she's got show but she's that's
why not fuck it she's got interesting people behind the scenes she wants to showcase including our friend i really good friend eva she's on that show believer from denver used to work assistant i thought he was the best i love that check i haven't talked to her forever she was this really cool chick that work for the denver comedy works just super on the ball and super friendly she used to take us to media like one of the nicest people ever and then became friends with chelsea and she was such a diamond that was just waiting for someone to come along forever like i told her if she moved to l a i would give her a job as an assistant to the coolest chick ever i got it
i've never even thought about having an assistant 'cause it seems so preposterous that you really can't fuck you got a business manager you also need a system and you could you give me a lot to get out here that's ridic but for her i would do it just to give you a job in convincing you get a two year old get your latte watch what happens come back screaming and covered in burns two year olds you can get kids to put away dishes load dishwasher dust vacuum sure yeah you can mow the lawn i drove along with a little older have fun you know you make a game of it get him a right more my brother love that when we were kids he was it was like parents bought me this thing so i could model i could write at i can drive this thing like he was so funny was actually working well we love done mowing lawn there's an aesthetic sense of pleasure sense of not make a compliment look you've created something visually that's pretty yeah thanks so much sense it's kind of an art form
you right up here did you i fucking hated more that was one of the hardest anything i only work for a landscaper for a whole week and he let me go because i kept burning too many lawns what what i mean you fuck up not not a new user lawnmower that well and you scalp the lawn and i scalloped a couple lines and he got mad at me it's hard fucking work and what we paid pretty decent for what it was but you worked every god damn day from six hundred and thirty in the morning you showed up at work and you work till three hundred o'clock in the afternoon and there was a gang of fucking houses to mow you had a whole row houses and you had a motor lawn and chop trees down shit backbreaking fucking when everybody is a douche bag you working with mostly like there was like a few guys that were kind of cool but there was a lot of like you know there's a lot of resentment to anybody knew that was coming along that might possibly take this shitty job away it was like really weird man
terrorism junkyard dog typa shit papers and hard man getting a job as a laborer in any sort of realm construction or that's one of the most the best ways to get motivated to get your shit together as a guy get a fucking job carrying bricks around all day you know get a job where you realize what work really is when you realize it really feels like to be exhausted for five dollars an hour five dollars an hour and you're carrying bricks all day would have no idea what that would be like out worse but it makes you think i that shit all the time if i ever think about like not writing or ever think about not working out or not getting in the tank or anything like that i think about working on a construction site and carrying bricks and cinder blocks and bags and then i think about how hard that was like what i have to do i just gotta get up and work at something awesome just get up bitch it's like this is a lot harder things you could be doing if you don't have that experience to some fucking terrible thing you know like
new when you are done with all the electrocutions up the asshole go into regular porn must have been like god damn is the cake walk i'll have to do is blow somebody yeah now actually there's a little bit of a transit that's happening in porn right now where there of going away from that like my blonde wife is getting fucked by six black guys to like more of wait a minute why are there stopping that's far well it's being phased out now it's like making a cheeseburger at a taste parody they're making parodies they're making romance movies that are like romance romance travel like romcom type of how many empire points are there a lot they did true blood parody at new sensation shit is porn anyway twilight parody they made i don't know they made a parody of absolutely everything yeah some dude on my message board as an avatar parity and it's a girl she's got the avatar face and she's getting mouth fucked yeah and that his ass
are you're going to do a new is avatar be underwater you heard about have you seen the preview for this new movie where it's a bunch of chicks with guns on the poster sucker punch what the fuck i haven't seen the previous posters look amazing watch manish yeah same director do that but is complete fantasy complete fantasy crazy book type yeah i like that man i don't need to be a movie to be realistic like when people go like why do you like like the the monster movies with my kids and that's what i want to be entertained i don't want you to depress me with some real story about a girl's parents get killed in a car crash stop yeah it's not personal my parade dude show me some monsters and some lasers and some spaceships and alien did you have to start over did you ever and in our lives in a mad see yeah i rewatched that the other day fucking loved it again that is just a fun fucking movie
really i don't know if you would like it though i don't know if you would like but the entire time i was like they don't even like each other movie recently that you liked it i didn't like can you think of one no i didn't really love enter the void but yeah i wasn't in the end of the voice but that's also because i've actually done dmt and i'm like this is the representation of it is so so simple a lot of problems that maybe but i just i was cool with the visual effects well yeah what i thought was cool was the first person perspective yeah i was really interesting yeah i mean i felt like i was really that guy you know if you really got into it i mean like what i like seeing it through like almost like a video game a first person shooter perspective and i thought that was kind of cool this parts of it i liked but it was just too much was too i didn't see anything that was like oscar movies i not see and now i think king spaces that about martin luther king or what is that about it is about it's about a dog that barks in the home no name can
who are the biggest fight color she saying we're talking dog movie brian rottweiler yeah i don't know what the fuck is about i don't i want to see i don't want to see any movies and waiting for cowboys and aliens i don't see any movies that are real this move that i saw adjustment bureau totally science fiction crazy fucking good good give me more of that give me more fake shit i don't want see real shit it's not interesting to me like here's a relationship that they had you and if you want to throw me some crazy godfather type gangster period piece where it's not today days reality so okay i can get into that kind of it's a long time ago reality you know but i'm not into any real movies where people get depressed in real life like stop it i don't even much movies that have people in them anymore really animations yeah like in that mega mine three d movie tina fey was like really hot as a cartoon right and it was just like cool i can like think this girl's really super high instead of like the sticky like i'm
i'm not hot teen affair i wear glasses i'm not hot first animated movie that ever saw that was an adult movie was wizards yeah that it was good it was great but i had it on dvd like really kind of recently can't find it i was my house it's in ralph house is named back box key yeah the guy that guy's name did death dealer right now wait i think of somebody else oh no it was just really cool science fiction sort of futuristic animated movie you know they don't do too many of those with their pre dope when they do a jersey heavy metal yeah yeah yeah how is that that chick in the movie who are you yeah they have you it even funnier awesome where is the heavy metal inspired south park where they did it really don't like pretty much heavy metal style cartoon and like the whole animation that episode
i need to catch up on south park's man i heard that they're going to do a charlie sheen parody which i cannot fucking wait for of course they're going to they could not they love making fun of people passed out are you on that no i think they made fun of you on that maybe maybe no only american dad has if they did i would be honored as long as they weren't too cruel please check a gentle soul in a big fan but what they did since he was the most ruthless shit i've ever seen in my life they beat him to death with baseball bat and shove frozen fish sticks and his necklace so i was broken i think i know dick do you like the comedian not be funny fuck it was this the most ruthless takedown ever seen that was even to the gay fish there genius man the fucking how about the tom cruise trapped in the closet shit god damn dude they break everybody down there the best man there's nothing like so we all agree didn't didn't they get what the fucks his name isaac hayes didn't he
the one is used to be the to be the shaft isaac case didn't he stopped doing it when there's some sort of a show on scientology that is so crazy isn't it it was ok when they made fun of everybody is lifestyle and religion forever and now he's dead so fuck you isaac hayes bam maybe maybe it wasn't even that may be tainted here mom surface is at the end of the podcasts she shows your true colors turn around dana we're going to put you on a positive path ok successful comedian right here right now i'm going to be your wife a year from now we're going to be looking back at this moment and then when i did the podcast that's when it all fucking came together yeah you're supposed to be a comedian doesn't let if any moment be god damn invulnerable up there everything you've done and you how you're exposed publicly you should be god damn invulnerable up there you got to be a goddess yeah troll and dominate this is the the beginning today we love launch it's uh
no better way to end this fucking show so we'll be back thursday with young and talented andy dick will join us on the podcasts doing it from this studio you figure this is rogan is not excited about andy dick being over at the house so we might have to but he has been sober for like four weeks i don't know there's always tomorrow though yeah well the thing about andes you just never know when you're going to run in with whiskey on his breath and like fuck he was at the avn awards he got tossed out right was you fucked up i don't know i saw him and he was just like wednesday roar whatever really hammered oh that's right i mean i will i guess i could only assume like we were doing some kind of mirroring exercise where and when they were doing the exact same thing he talked about it on the greg fitzsimmons show he talked about it on greg fitzsimmons is serious show and he said that he just got out of control and it was like the wheels fell off at the end but it was a great time before that but then it looks so bad
when people looking back on it another thing he had a really interesting you gotta pay attention to what what you look like people know who you are you know basically people know who you are yeah but once like a straw i go addict you know when i go like i might are both my shoes on or like am i have i said anything offensive or or anything to anyone like my controlling myself when you're partying yeah yeah yeah i drink like five whiskey drinks and i was wearing a gown in like wait until no one was around and i took my dress off in the mirage or the poems parking structure and i threw it in the back of my car and went back to my own hotel naked like just put on whatever is in my car you carry clothes around with you just all the time yeah never know well we were like in vegas so you know you got shit everywhere to have like a baseball hat experts aware t shirt i slept i slept in a bowling alley last night in canoga park what i had what it's a long story
what is the weight when it wants andy dick no bye bye bye i was so great because i had not only did i have a coat 'cause it was kind of cold i had sleeping bags i had airplane pillows from traveling so much it was slept in a bowling alley parking lot of bowling alley what the fuck brian it was great this is good night you too drunk no so actually didn't even drink last night i think monks young latin in love no no no no no it's not even that no no it was doing that in love with some girl had its bowling alley no wow long story apps young love in a parking lot when you you don't mind sleeping outside but you have a house yet have practical when you're in love dana i don't have to tell you that maybe maybe i'm dead inside and i'll never experience maybe they were right commenters on youtube for all those mother fuckers gentleman uh this weekend friday night and saturday night we were at the comedy and magic club next week friday night at
gotham in new york city brian also has a podcast of his own it's called the death squad you can subscribe to it on itunes and dan has been on it sam the time it's a plethora of young haunted comedians and they do a bunch of different podcast so it's not just one and you can go on the itunes page and find out which they are or go to death squad dot tv and just subscribe to death squad on itunes and it's very highly ranked now it's like in the top twenty of itunes comedy so it's it's really good to it's really interest so we'll be back on thursday like i said with any dick thank you everybody for everything thanks for tuning in and thanks for being just cool mother fuckers alright i love you go to flashlight dot com and go to joerogan dot net entering the code name rogan get yourself some discounted jerk off material do you have a rubber flashlight yeah
i'm noah and i've been bringing it up every time you with them no no not formal rejection letter from flashlight woman has happened do you just got in with the right crowd okay it can be x extra big flashlight giant bomb or wanting to guys in i think this exists jihad
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Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.