« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #9 - Brian Redban

2010-02-24 | 🔗
Date: 02-24-2010 The raw audio from Joe Rogan's weekly live USTREAM video show with Brian Reichle.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Start broadcast shows bitches. I think it's on way or Uh. We're getting a little better three hundred and seven. Now that's a little bit better right. We go. Zoom zoom zoom, what's happened to fuck hers, we can hear us, it's all good leaving. We are live hello, everybody welcome to the what is it the fucking night, only one or something computer we have continued mother
saga continues plays german. This is how you drink coffee, okay, fucking man see that shit right there. That's it a french press, you can get it at Tarbuck! Starbucks Starbucks, for, like twenty bucks or something or you know, target for twenty dollars. That's why I was in the middle same target and Starbucks. At the same time, you just grind up your coffee. Yet on this motherfucker you pour the hot water. You push down the plunger but bam. You got coffee yeah, it's gritty and strata like little pieces of stuff in it, but so what you fucking, pussy man up man up and trick ular spillover for man up and drink your coffee. So how is Australia? Australia is the shit if you've never been to Australia. It's fucking spectacular! It's beautiful! People are cool as fuck
It's really bizarre man. It's way the fuck on the other side of the world, like literally on the other side of the world, to where it's a nineteen hour time difference between LOS Angeles in Australia, with laws like out there is there any the it is not very legal there, but it's everywhere. Everybody's got weed, yeah yeah, so because I got a text from mayhem right before we left 'cause may have got there before us and he said YO. This is the exact test, the text YO, costumes here. Is a mother fucker, don't bring any weed to Kangaroo Island? Which of you know, mayhem, that's a that's. A mayhem quote right there hum so lazy, gentlemen a fucking trainer yesterday got killed by an orca to hear about that. She didn't hear about that. Killer Whale killed, a trainer at Seaworld
and, what's amazing to me, is how they haven't been killing people up to this point, could you imagine if whales killer whales are supposed to be super? Intelligent? I mean they're like intelligent as humans are cousins of dolphins. And there we put him in a fucking fish tank and make him new tricks from mackerels, you know, could you imagine what kind of hell that life is, and this whale had killed a homeless man that snuck into the fucking tank in nineteen ninety one and he had also or it might be a sheet, I'm not sure he or she Had also, I think it's. He also, while almost drowned a trainer with the member that video with the the the killer whales plan with the person doctor them under a name in that same way, wow same way yeah. So
I mean it's not like the warning signs. Weren't there. It's, like you, know even know here MIKE Tyson's punch somebody you can be shocked. Let's see what happens like how he died, the it's a woman that died. He he grabbed her by the waist and just and wrapped her up in the middle of a light showing up beginning a life. Do you see videos? Is it out? That's a good question. I bet they confiscated everybody cameras and shit as they were leaving yeah, but you know, SD cards are so small. You think would learn to shove it up your ass or something this guy. If he was there for sure there would be a video of it, one fucking, one thousand percent yeah. Soon, as I heard, we need everybody's cameras, SD card up ass, save two. You have edit uploaded to Youtube already yeah that turn Bluetooth. Do you stream yeah? There's no fucking way, I mean the.
Could you imagine what that must've looked like you're you're there and also the kill he grabbed her about the waste and just started smashing her back and forth just rag doll here, He just had enough. He just said: that's it! That's it! mother fuckers, you know, do an incredible that we think it's cool. Do that and then we go and watch them. You know it's really like zoos. Bum me, the fuck out. We went to zoo in Australia while there and cool part of it was the crocodile cage 'cause. I don't think that crocodile gives a fuck where it is. I think crocodiles are so dumb. I mean they seen their minds seem so dead. They just lay there with their eyes closed underwater for like hours at a time, but they don't have to breathe, not agree for, like an hour, So this is lay under water and just do nothing and just sit there. They don't.
Run around and play like when you pass like the monkey cage at the zoo that shit's depressing because they don't want to be there when I was in Denver, there's a zoo in Denver and the monkey got in his fucking cage and was howling this horrible howl, and it was a big cage. This monkey was screaming out like a tortured soul. There was like a man in prison. You know let me outta here. The monkey was just born to screaming at the top of his lungs, and I was like this is not good, like this cool to do them for what so people can stare at him. I mean that shit might have flown in the 1930s. You know back when there was no zoos or back when there's no videos, but we have videos now now you don't have to put him in a zoo, you know, but
but that's the only time we would ever be able to see most of those animals. That's the only thing that makes me go well. I see the reason for using this: I'm not going to Africa and hunting down a white tiger. You know it's right, but is it worth it for them to us to struggle just so you could stare at him, yeah, but you don't know it could also be like dude wait. I don't have to hunt my food there's just a steak here. Every morning when I wake up, I could sleep no for like tigers, that shit is orgasmic to is down an animal chase. It move it, you ever see a cat like. If you roll a ball string in front of them, they can't help themselves man. You should know that you have cats right cats can't help it. They live for chasing shit. This just like, like you, know, a guy with a hard dick lives to fuck right now. It's really the same thing. Man there it's nature, rewards them for being a good predator and I think
you know the way same way: food tastes, good for us and sex feels good for us. They love to kill that nature rewards them with some crazy rush of energy and an endorphins when they kill something you know. So you give him a cold plate of meat pushing aluminum tray under the fucking cage. That's the same, that's not fun guaranteed. You know but that doesn't that the killing thing bothers me. But what really bothers me is the fucking amount of room, they have to move around the cages up here in the the Sandiego zero. That's a hold, I mean yeah. That's why I was there. I was like man, I would like to be an animal in this case. No, we went down. This is serious. Fucking delay between what we're saying we're saying is that we asked
yeah San Diego, is the the way they have. It is nice. They have a big giant giant ass place. That makes sense what that's fucking expensive, but that's how it should be. They they they place, like the l, easy just sitting there yeah, because that's just wrong, you go they always. You know that's just depressed, but there is like a clumsy where I'm from is one of the biggest is Jack Hanna's from it and it's nice they may have just acres in eight acres of land, I don't know if they maybe throw out some goats once in awhile for the tigers, and so they just don't talk about it. You know they don't do that. They don't ever do that. They do that in Iraq. This video in Iraq of the letter, monkey loose and this I do it every day and the dogs just walking around eating and they open up the gate. These tigers come running out of the gate and just bitch. That doctor to the ground and fucking Jack on its really kinda wild to see- and it's really shocking- these GIS filmed it.
When they were in Iraq at the zoo. It's it's shocking to see, but that's really the way they're supposed to eat, like, though, that's how you should do it. If you're going to have to feed animals, you can have wild animals, you should have them eat what they normally eat. Man, I mean like: what's with this feeding, fucking snakes frozen mice, give him a fucking mouse. You know I mean that's what they're supposed to do we're trying to enforce our own ideas of morality and predation, a fucking monsters. You know I mean look. Snake is a monster dude. You know tigers, that's a monster, those are all monsters, yeah, they're, natural monsters, they there's a whole natural cycle of things and to take them out of that. There was a kangaroo cage that was the most depressing thing. 'cause those camera you're sitting there. They,
the ship is laid Damon beings that could be considered monsters so like if you're. If you put somebody in prison, that's a mass murder were doing the same thing. You know we're in it. We should let that mass murder go out on his way, just murder load of people, yeah Johnny Mass logic as well. I mean, if you're saying like it. You know like a tiger. The tiger, or whatever you know like a snake, should kill its own pray. We should you know, do what what what know, what we're feeding them kill you pray, we kill it first, that's what's the most ridiculous thing is that we kill what they they eat. First, so that it's not as brutal for us somehow or another. Someone else kills it you buy it killed. Then you feed him. That's ridiculous! Yeah! That's not a mass murderer, dude mass murderers or just fucked in the head. They're, not they're, not killing for food is a part of a natural cycle. They're just nuts, and then, when you get an ugly person, the problem is human consciousness is so more complex, supposedly than animal consciousness, because we have the ability to alter our environment. So you can't have someone
lose consciousness. Is haywire. That's that's! That's. When you have like serial killers, mass murders. Will you have someone? Who's consciousness is just gone the tracks and into the woods, and you have just chaos, and if our society is aware of itself, it has to realize that there's certain issues are going to come up. When you have crazy people running around killing your family and your friends So you got to kill them. What you're supposed to do with someone like a mass murder, if you're absolutely convinced that's the problem. Really. The problem is the court system, the court system, so fucking, corrupt and so many times DA and prosecutors just trying to get there just kind of trying to get a guilty verdict and they don't give a fuck. If someone is guilty or not, there's many many many instances where cops of framed guys that were innocent people have gone to jail for years. It turns out their dna evidence they were framed. I mean that's happened. Many many meant that's the real fucking problem, but if we could be absolutely sure that we knew that somebody was a mass murderer or uh pastor and anyone with no remorse who hurt other people
could hurt. Someone that you care. You gotta, kill him, but why keep this too many fucking people? You know I mean, look, it's not like they're not going to die eventually anyway, it's not like. If you don't tell him, you know, they're going to fuck a cure cancer and live forever. No they're not going to do anything. They're, not a mass murderer is not going to contribute to society. You know they're, just not! There's nothing is going to nothing. Good is going to come out of that they should just line them up and, like oh, you need a new liver bam. Your own death row row there should be no like time time period and they're going to they should just shoot. You take all the parts that they that they believe use. Your corneas are your or yeah. That's an interesting topic, because there was a thread on the board. The message board On my website where people were talking about organs having a memory
and they're doing all these people who have gotten transplants from people also need new things that could the price was known. As of that date of people, don't even know that you know it's like that. Yeah I mean I've. I've heard of many things like that where people also had cravings for certain types of foods and they had no idea. The department is not just one instance and see the thing is about memory like we don't know where memory is stored, exactly we don't mean they know an incredible amount, more. Then the average person about the way the human body works much more than people knew one hundred years ago, much more than you know even a decade ago, but they don't know everything. There's a lot of questions. Matt, first of all, with human body, your cells regenerate every seven to ten EI think it's seven years
so literally every cell in your body changes and becomes a new one. You are you're a new version of you every seven to ten years there. Yes, there's they're, not the same anymore. So if that's the case where the fuck are your memories, because I have memories that are way more than seven years old, so where the memory stored, if you have a completely new cell, I mean are the memories like transferred back and forth between the cells when the new one is born. Is it born with the same memories mean where's the memory? Where is it stored? We don't fucking now. The other ideas that the memories are stored in the neurons. Well, if that's the case, because the neurons of the only thing that stay- the the the neurons are not the you get the norms you get or the neurons you get for ever you don't get new ones. You know they don't regenerate every seven years, but the heart is filled with neurons. You know the knit and it's like what one of the biggest clusters of neurons in the body sick right up there with the brain, and I think you know people who have had a heart transplant. I don't think it's
preposterous that they would have memories. I don't think that is that preposterous at all. I think it and I think that these people that say that they're having dreams stuff, they probably would have had that same exact dream with or without it. Why would you say that Brian they're, talking about things that couldn't possibly have known about people, have this little girl? Little girl gave up the exact identity and location of the woman who of the man who murdered the girl, who gave her the heart.
Do. You know that store. No, but it's just started here are the facts that sounds far fetched, but it doesn't mean it's not like to get. This is something that I read that when it like that that it's kind of like to me a senior it's either somebody that wants attention, that's what has just gone in there going. No, I had my partner transplant now I could I'm think, having all these dreams of people. I don't know what it's that's. Okay, that's possible. I know I know it's also possible. The problem is the system with skepticism. My comes something that we don't understand. That's the problems that you know you run the possibility of excluding something because it seems irrational
the reality is we don't have enough information to decide. What's rational, what's irrational, just the idea that you have memories at all, it's fucking nuts! You know the idea that you can. How about the idea that you can change people's memories? You know they say that, especially right after something shocking. If you start talking to someone and introducing new ideas to them, they don't have the re. Remember the whole situation, they'll change the whole way. They remember things like have you ever thought of something was some way and then you go back to watch the video you like God, damn it wasn't like that at all. I had a fucking. I don't trust my member that much. I trust, something's, there's some things that I know they're recording in there forever for Riel and no doubt about it. There's some things, because I have made sure that have kept. That memory like I've, had some pretty intense experiences where I made sure like. I am going to make sure that I record this one right, but other ones are fucking blower man, you know there's a lot of them that are blurry. You know you look
back on your your high school years, like Jesus Christ. It's like a slide shows and I, but I barely remember any of it. Do you remember it like it's getting worse and worse? I I'm actually pretty good with a lot of weird memories but denied the other day. I was trying to think of somebody and that I actually hung out with for three years when I was a kid and don't remember his face at all, came and put like my sisters. Like you don't remember him, we hung out all the time like. I can remember him, but I don't know. I have any idea what he looks like yeah. I've had that happen to me before for sure. That's fucking, weird, it is weird. It's so weird. I wonder where all that shit goes up in smoke. Why is it that someone can pull it back, though, like someone will say something to go yes and then all sudden boom? The memory like blossoms in your mind like what is that it's like you're, giving CPR to the memories just like there are almost dead, yeah it's like like, like a branch of the tree, hit, hit and nerve of that memory was hit and it woke up that
action of memory or whatever, Yeah some along those lines mean what is that. What the fuck is that Samantha? Do you get a spider on your face? Look, oh shit, a daddy that get on your house. Oh I'm not on I'm not on Opie and Anthony this week. It's not this week. They made a mistake. I'm there March 26th not not February six, it's Friday Friday, before the UFC next month in Dallas this weekend, I'm not New York this weekend, so I'm going to be at the Addison Improv
this weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday with my man, Joey Diaz and Brian will be there as well. If we get Bryant drunk who might have to talk about to go stage, uh Hi Brian is actually funny. Comedian he's done stand up a couple times he did and Atlanta he did it. Well, it's just. You did a couple of ways. You know I was going to check, try to go up on stage before this. We can just in case if, if I get to but beyond state, but I really it really hurts me to go back and spend three hours of my life for five minutes in front of two people. The open MIKE nights is that it is a grind. You know, people ask me questions all the time like Kay and thinking about doing comedy. What's the best advice MIKE Man, you gotta, be willing to put your whole life assigned you gotta be willing to
you, gotta be willing to, especially if you have a job during the day. You have a job during the day and your night time you now that's your social life. It's going to be stand up, comedy are going to be going to clubs and you're going to be performing and you have to do it all the time. If you don't do it all the time you're going, get all your material. Whatever comfort you gain on stage will be eroded very quickly. It's a god. Damn long ass grind man yeah, I think. If I was younger, I would totally be into it, but it's really hard to be an adult and waste that much time but is is hard. You know I did it. I started out doing stand up when I was twenty one. Did it right after my 21st birthday, houses and going on back there. You know I mean I was doing things I have. You know, had a life sort of, but It wasn't like. I had a family right,
a mortgage or you know no obligations. Yeah. I have no internet, but I know obligations. You know so it wasn't it's hard when you have a girlfriend and you have a life and you have a wife and you have children, you have mortgage fuck man, you know when I talk to do that are like forty thinking about doing comedy and, like you know, ok, that's like saying nothing about getting the brain surgery. Man would think about brain surgery, not say like comedies as sort of brain surgery, because it's first of all, it's not as it's uh difficult to remember all the things you need to remember with brain surgeons, but it is just as difficult difficult a way because, there is no real path, I mean you could suck as a comedian. You can't suck his brain surgeon, your fucking, going to jail. So it's obviously a lot more discipline involved in brain surgery, because you have to do it correctly, but both are equally difficult to actually fucking do
put anything in this life is difficult. If you, if going to really do it, you mean just think about. If you started tomorrow and you wanted to be a computer programmer, you don't know shit about computers, you just starting from scratch, and you want computer programmer. Fuck. Imagine fucking work. That's involved in that lot of reading, though you know it's a lot of reading nowadays, like I mean I could pretty much teach myself some programming by just looking at video, you know how to type you know about computers. You know a lot of shit about computers. You know a lot of shit about about code. A person that has no experience whatsoever and decides I want to take on a new career. I want to be a computer programmer. I want to code for video games good fucking luck, man. How about I want to create video game engines? I just I don't know where I want to be the next John Carmack you're fucked man, you're fucked, that shit will take forever. Anything that's worth doing, takes fucking forever to get good at in
Bank holiday is no different, comedy music is no different. You know. I often I often like looking people playing piano or play or something like that. I know how cool would that be to be able to just fucking jam on the cash, but God damn that's a lot of fucking time. I've tried to learn that, though it's a coordination thing for me, though, that that's something I think you're just born with being able to understand, be able to coordinate each finger as certain way and Well, it's also cultivation. It's also. If you do things like with your fingers like that early on in life, you know it's much easier. As you get older, they say that the army now is using their using Cox controllers for their drones, because he's fucking kids are so good, yeah yeah and their encourage ing people to play video games, and it's just a matter of time before they start record recruiting like the baddest mother fuckers in video games. Like probably do yeah, I mean like if you could play like war games with like a keyboard and a mouse.
There's. These dudes that play quake like professionally those mother fuckers can move that mouse cursor and put it on an object, look instantaneously. You know they know exactly where that curse is going. They play so much that when they move that mouse, the mouse and a keyboard is way more accurate than that joystick thing that you're safe thing is kind of difficult to manipulate
toggles and like exactly where the cross here goes. But if you have a mouse, you can put a mouse. If you understand like how quick you know that all depends on you know, everybody likes a different. Some people like high sensitivity, some people like low sensitivity, but the bottom line is once you get used to whatever it is. You move the mouse that thing cursor goes in certain directions. They can put it like exactly where they want to instantly. So it's not like you're in a helicopter and see the insurgents youto move the crosshairs and get in line. We have been long, but I'm like no it's back. I mean they could do it so fucking quick. I mean that would be some crazy shit if you could have drones and then like that got fatality. Fatality is yeah he's like the baddest motherfucking quick player ever this dude is just ridiculously accurate, with a smile and a cool guy to him very much but If you got that guy playing for your army and you drones with missiles in it from that fucking guy holy shit. You know: yeah, that's the future man. Welcome to the new world
pretty crazy. How video games have exploded from something that used to be like like little? pongs. Now people have like amazing video games on their phones, yeah. It's incredible man just look at what you can do with your Iphone play You know all these different racing games and shit. We what we working on the New UFC Fight Game FUCK, it's amazing man when you watch some of the graphics and shit like they dive for knee bars, they get triangles, they throw head, kicks and punches flying knees and shit. You see all this crazy shit, all these different techniques. They can do just like in real fighting, and it's like it's so close to being like a video that you got an actual UFC fight that you can manipulate. The limit is in the controller I think would eventually is going to happen. Is you're going to have a damn suit on you're, going to have a fucking suit on or just going to, the wire plugged in on your forehead and you're just going to fail?
That could happen, but Microsoft is very close to developing the whole system. Where you know you have interact with the game with the call detail it comes out like at the November or it might. It got pushed spell in eighteen e, a l
and pretty much just like a camera or something that sits on top your tv ending the realtor motion, remote yeah, that's the that's incredible because that's gonna be cool. Imagine having like a UFC game where you could learn how to fight without actually fighting yeah. My problem with that whole thing is, I think, maybe if I was a kid I would have loved it when I'm playing a video game. I don't have to do when she is. You know you say that you are doing what we right now right a week, yeah, it's this little thing, you're playing ping pong and it sort of moves away you want to. I I did a week card game once I was like this is not specific at all. Well, not it's, not a rewarding yeah, but something about having to like get up like. I want your lazy, not as much as one yeah. If I was a kid it might be better but like nowadays, I don't think you can sit there right, so we need and what you do with that's depended on the graphics. With the graphics for like three read, the Super dope virtual reality type and you had a virtual gun and you're running down the hallway shooting at offices like you have a gun in your hand, it reads: yeah come on man, I would be the in the actual running that you take place like maybe that would
the sheriff had a fucking warehouse virtual reality warehouse you enter into the door you put on this helmet and it's just a flat. I clear yeah complete three d virtual reality. You know yeah and if you get close to the walls like a little light goes on, you are getting close to the wall. That would be turned right. Yeah, yeah yeah come on Macy's. I I've just gotten to the point where I give this Nintendo Wii shape. Just drives me crazy. He is a boring man, the we is like playing pool, but there's no pool cue yeah. You just go like and you just know feedback. You need feedback. Man like I wanna click a button and see a gun go off. You don't want to cook the mouse button and see the rocket take off right. That this whole moving at arm through the air that's fucking week, yeah, that's true
there's. I forget what it was. They just said the other day that in the future that they're going to use like Google MAPS and, like street view in Google MAPS and you're, going to be playing video games of your street you're going around in your house, and you know what I mean you should be able to find out. If someone is playing like fucking, do on your street in growing up your house right, you can be like yeah, it's like hey just watching. You know they should like, send you an email. It should be like the sims, where it's like your house is the house in the video game and so like. If you try to break in your house, they were trying to break into your house everyone should have their own house in the video game. Yeah that would be kind of cool that would be cool. Then you would know where everybody everyone lives and, let's not kill them. Show me video games. Don't have access to use that one for like twenty four hours or something like that and you can run away I'm kind of shocked at virtual reality kind of hit like they the technology never really developed the way I thought it was going to like you know you heard about that shit like way back in the eighties, and I thought wow if there was movies. Based on that,
I thought like wow, that never like boss choreography, what movie remember total recall with a fucking make you could dream right, yeah that it's common, it's a total recall. What was the one with the chick with the red hair in They've already been able to take images and plant them in people's minds and they've, been able to read images from people's minds like read what you're thinking about like you can look at something and the computer like there's some sort of sensors that they hook up to your brain and then it sends the image to a computer, and it's it can tell what your fucking looking at like that's, not mad 'cause. Eventually, I mean this is in a very rudimentary stages of technology, where they only to pick out shapes and shit, but eventually they're, going to be able to fucking see what you're seeing that's an yeah
the red hair in the summers of the bridge, was well yeah and had like memories thank them of plug like memories in your head. That was a script. How how bad ass is. Chris Tucker in that member, who was that crazy, alien, never lawnmower man, so we too there's another nutty. We bought a retard that went crazy right right, put a computer in his brain. Something another Stephen King Book, Stephen King. Oh no is strange days. Was it strange days another virtual reality, something crazy, as I think it was strange dating now. Today's? Let's Karen here I can't wait for strange days. We come true, that's what it was it was. It was it that was the one to Angela Bassett right, yeah sure forever be Tina Turner. Sorry, yeah. I love do any other movies. I don't give a fuck. Tina Turner was
Oh this fucking Miss Beverly Hills cheer about this another one of these beauty pageant chicks, came out saying that she doesn't, I believe the gay should be married and she you know she quoted Leviticus in the old testament. Saying that the you know, the Bible says that it's some some to quote like Any man who lays down with a man, as you know, the same way lays down with a woman is it's an abomination should be put to death. She came and said that gays should be put to death Lucy supporting the old testament which, by the way I mean whatever you fucking want to believe about religion, that's all! Well and good. You know who knows if God is real. Who knows I mean it could be that you know the Bible, is completely ridiculous, because God wants things confusing
but it gets a certain point when you read certain things and gotta go all right. Every people are full of shit and there was no internet back. Then it's not like you know. There was a copy of the Bible on Wikipedia and people kept altering it. But everybody was like that's not what it's as they went back and changed it. You know they didn't the old testament. They didn't even write that fucking thing down for like one thousand years. It was just stories you know and the idea that those stories you can't tell I can't tell a story to him and he tells it to his girlfriend his girlfriend right, seminar, Blawg and it's the same story. It'll be fucked up for sure. I can't tell you how many times like someone has gone to one of my gigs and I've said something and then a guy, like quote on Twitter, like I'll, do that was so funny last night when you said this about them. Like TIM, I didn't say that you're saying some fucked up. What I said was a lot nicer. You know, but when, when you realize, like that memories, air, so fucking there's no way, there's no way. You could be that accurate over one thousand years with people talking about it and then, on top of it, the original, the old testament Bible was written in ancient Hebrew and to this day the only no.
Three out of four words in ancient Hebrew: twenty five percent of the words they don't have a clue as to what they mean. Not only that letters and numbers were the same thing back, then there were known numbers. So the letter a was also the number one. So there was like numerical value in words like the word love in the word: God they have the same numerical value in ancient Hebrew, but as soon as they translated that to Latin and Greek, that shit was all gone. Let's see, it was all lossed so for this dumb bitch to sit and think that God wants people to put put the death of their gaily. This is with the Miss Beverly Hills. This is a new one, new, Miss California in California, supposed to be so liberal and they'd. Miss Texas. Do you know who Carrie and pants she is or whatever name is from celebrity rehab finish finish: she was the one that had a threesome with the guy from Grey's anatomy. Anyways on this show celebrity rehab. She
You just want to strangle her, and I think it's almost with these. Like pageant people 'cause, I know a couple of these girls. I did the pageants and stuff like that. There fucked up in their head, you know they've been doing it all their life. These little kids are grown up. Remember last, not last time I went to Dallas for the time before when there was that little girl patch
right on the hotel. Yes, remember that that was scary, that was the weirdest fucking thing ever were hanging out the hotel and there's all these little girls. I mean little like six yeah, six years old, with high heels and makeup on with their hair done and jewelry and dresses and you're like what the fuck is going on here. That shit is an abomination, all right that is a fucking. That is a travesty. I feel like someone will start going wrong in the elevator was in the elevator with two of them, and I looked at her. You don't look like that. They were naked finger themselves in front of you know: something's not right there. Sometimes my daughter will play with her pussy. I just I don't know. I don't say this true, you would too, if you have one but something the other day, she was lying there and she had her little feet up in the air she's rocking back and forth. She just two hands, just grabs it. You know.
What exactly? Would you say that you go? Don't do that you can't tell or not to do that? That's you know you don't want to suppress certain get are crazy and we also don't want her to be like, like in kindergarten going. They all do it anyway. I got news for you. They all do it dutch member, doing weird with kids when you were little, and I played DR me and my friend play doctor with all the girls internet, and I remember the only time I remember the most. We had three girls lined up and we're like. Okay, we're going to be putting pencils in your, but China's take on other pants and we just went back to each one important smell it, because health club- but we are all like behind you- give this rose- led poise that popping up they might be retarded now because you there off on my facebook too, so totally they're, not watching like you should. I was nervous about that. We and you should ask them a question: does anybody remember anything about pencils, putting up things so in your car? But this will this so this beauty pageant thing that we saw the hotel it was dark. I mean it was really dark. There's all these weird I'll religious people with their kids dressed like horse in made no sense, I mean no sense because they were they were. It was on. We were there on a Sunday and they were talking about church. Was all this church talk and you got your
drug dressed as a fucking prostitute, there's a six year old dresses, a prostitute and you're talking about church. They had high heeled shoes on. I mean like this high, which the only reason why shoes have heels like that, so that women's legs look longer so that guys think about them. When they're pushing these long legs back and fucking the shit out of you, that's what that's for those long legs thing! Why do you think? What do you think that's there for you sacrificing how you can walk? How about that? Just so that men want to fuck you more than we already do, which is
we do a lot had sex with a girl that has our shoes on like high heels and what is up with that now I mean I'm sure it is somewhere in my life. You know some, probably not you know, taken everything off, that's but it's possible, but the that someone would like that. But the hold I don't like him in the first place, I think they're ugly and it's it's seems to me like you're, doing something stupid right. You know I don't want to be with like your your your contract and you don't need to do it for me, like you know, like my wife, always want to wear these high heels when she leaves the house. Okay, if you want to do that, that's all good, but to me it seems like you can't, walk right I'd. Rather you wear tennis shoes, the women love them and they love shoes the what they love, how they looked a love cycle dues love cars. You know you know, like you, see like a sixty nine Mustang or something like that and you go whoa. He like pull up to it to look at that mother. You know I'm saying like this, something that men half what women can go. Wow, that's a pretty car, but it's not the same as how do looks at a car. Well for girls.
The shoe thing is just they really fucking love shoes, men like makeup and shoes that looks like the opposite sides of the body 'cause. If so ashamed of the middle, they could bleed that's gross to look at. Look it up here in my lashes, unnaturally long yeah right so long legs are and where do they go to look up there? Well, the you know, I mean that's one thing. If you're a woman, you know if you're a grown woman, that's what you like, and you know what the fuck ever, who gives a shit. You wanna go pierce, your balls go, do it who gives a shit but for little kids? That's not that's, not cool man to have a six year old dress. I go home now, not just stir Bing. It is disturbing. It felt very wrong. You know, and
you know their whole Jon Benet Ramsey case man- that that shit disturb don't know that in that case, yet they don't know we're going to find out that still alive. I believe the moms could be all died. Maybe the dad's dead, two it's possible anyway. No twitterverse, twitter versus not cool, and I agree you know I heels are just as much an establishment as a male's tie is both are silly. That's true, that's true! Braun tries dams just wish. It goes too fast on the highway. Yeah yeah, you know you're. Absolutely right. I think ties are completely ridiculous. I didn't even I I have. I haven't worn a tie in a long. I did the documentary recently on DMT and out what I had to wear a time, because I I played like a rod sterling type narrator. It's really interesting documentary on the intake it'll be out sometime this spring, but I had to work time. I had no idea ties thing. I know I do the last time I wore a tie was
my first album grab that thing off the wall with my first album in nineteen. Ninety nine, you know just as a goof one of the things. I always said that I love about being a comedian, is that you don't have to wear a fucking tie and so This is my first cd, for whatever reason I just thought it would be funny. If I wore a tie, I don't know, doesn't make any sense. Just look strange. I wear a tie for like ten years every day. Yeah if you want to like working businessman, it's like there's an agreement like everyone has to know that you are willing to wear something completely ridiculous because you're, following by the very obvious rules of behavior, it's going to be really easy to predict what you're doing That's what people like like I'm a gentleman. You know like as a gentleman while I feel this I'm a gentleman and we've got it. Styan, hello, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, you know there's this like
this agreement, that you're not gonna get too crazy, and I was like my doctor Phil impression. You know mobile Mushu. Surely we are very slippery, I'm not sure Smith friend, but you know it's like there's something to that. There's something to this is silly outfit, the weather it's uncomfortable like if people start doing business and they had like rash guards on like like road, rash guards. I like to read to go: did you get to see? You know like why? Why would that be bad? But it is bad. You know you can't have like board shorts and You know Zen, you know running shoes on and you look like. You look ready to fucking pounds on people that nobody wants that in business you can have. When you go to business, you have to be dressed uncomfortable. Your button has to be all the way up here it's fucking ridiculous. You know I hate it do remember I used to work at this architect firm from my stepfather, and this was when I was big into acid and stuff like that. So, every time I would come to work, I was either hung over
still tripping on acid, and you know or something like that, it was such a boring job that it was acceptable because all I had to do is make copies of architect plans, and do you think you fucked up your brain on as you think you have fucked up your brain? No! Now! No, I think I think if, when I doing it, I work, I was it. Was there any point at like you know, you ever heard. Howard stern talk about is acid trip. Mmhm now, Howard Stern talked about on the radio, and I guess he did like a giant dose of acid like way too much and he was like all fucked up for like a long time like he was hearing voices and it was just like a like a real psychotic episode. And
you know, that's, ah, really that's a thing about psychedelic, so you gotta make sure you don't fuck around. Do too much like Dennis Mckenna, had an experience like that to Dennis Mckenna with who's. Terence Mckenna is brother they're, both famous psycho knots for psychedelic pioneers in the seventies. They went to Brazil and he took like way too much mushrooms and he lost his mind for like two weeks like he couldn't communicate with people you know and the last time I did DMT I was fucking whacked out for like two solid weeks, not totally you wouldn't guess. If you were talking to me, I was totally normal. I did shows the show's went great. I went to work, I did fear fire did that went great uh. You know nothing. Nothing got fucked up in my butt. My head was like I felt very now. You feel like your consciousness is like in a foundation. Your consciousness is like you know, it's like boots solid. This is me good morning. You wake up in the morning. Hi honey, kissy, girlfriend brush your teeth. This is fucking solid.
When I did the DMT. My consciousness was like a little tiny raft in a fucked up ocean. It's, like you know, like nothing, seemed like I kept having these ideas. At cars, were going to come, launching themselves over the boundaries and hit my car. While I was driving- and I'm like- why am I thinking like what is this about, and then I realized that what it was was that these are this idea of worrying about possible disasters was my ego's way of regaining ground and letting me know that it has to have a certain amount of real estate in reality and that crazy, crazy, psychedelics and go into other dimensions, communicate with entities and re with entities. You know your whole position in the world and then
humankind's position with each other. That's all well and good, but there's some real shit in the world that the eagle has to be there for the eagle was like sending me a message on dude, but it will fucking car launched itself out. You better be fucking paying attention like there was a certain amount of where it was such a mind, blowing experience There was like a wrestling match going on in my head between my ego and between this new information and accepting all this new information from the psychedelic trip, and operating it into the way. I look at every day life you know and, like you know, you think about someone who's like a real like a shaman. You know they're living in the jungle and they're all a piece in the world they're, not calling people douche bags on the internet. You know, there's a certain amount of enlightenment, that if you achieve it going to make it very hard for you to function, in the regular world- and I that's one of the most important things about psychedelic trips, like there's a lot of cripples in the psychedelic world and in the weed world to there's a lot of people that there
they're so into these experiences that can't incorporate it into their everyday life and they're almost crypt hold in their everyday life because of it no psychedelic experience is worth anything in less. You can take what you've learned from it and enhance regular life, enhance your your Occasionally people your relationships with people, you know enhance the way you look at the world enhance your career path. You know the kind of friends you hang around with unless it can enhance you the reality. Is we live in this world for eight hours a day or twelve hours day or how long you're awake this world this shit, this concrete world Israel you have to manage your way through this and psychedelic drugs, make it very difficult to do that. If you want to have a regular job, I think psychedelics. What's the main thing with psychedelics? Is it opens up a door and like in the past, like I've been offered DMT, but I won't do it because
like when I first did mushrooms, I opened up to a door of things they never thought of or saw before, and it's never going to go away. It didn't damage my head, but now that I know that exists, I know it's there, and so, when acid did the same thing, but there's a point where I have to go. Ok is this door. This door need to be open. Is this anything positive with this door being open, and some drugs are like that? For me, 'cause, like salvia, was the closest to the point where I was like. Ok, that is a scary door that I opened up that just pretty much made everything seemed fake like. He was like this world is fake everything space and I know that's not true, but it opened up that door where I'm like. Ok, that's almost too much of a door. I should've opened up that door. I'm never going to get back that that
I'm not knowing that was there. I think that's pretty more, pretty much saying the same thing it may, if you can't bring it back and back and incorporate it into your, like. Sometimes you open up these doors up these doors like the fuck. Am I going to do with this right and then you everyday life is just whacked out some people like going back to that road. So much though, and that's where it gets fucked school. You know what I think most of those people there real world is not so hot and that's one of the reasons why it becomes an escape and I don't think it should be an escape. I don't think you should ever escape reality. Your sheer this is this is life. You know is, the life, can be magical, fucking, intense, fantastic experience. If you manage it correctly, If you just want to escape all the time. I've got to think that you're probably fucking up in this life, and that's that's imbalanced. You know people that always want to go, and it's like the same thing with like video games, like remember, I told you about this dude. This is due to used to be a manager of the comedy store that was addicted to Everquest. Just come,
completely addicted. Eight ten twelve hours a day lost everything lost his job lost his life. He just was so pale. You would see him, he was so pale. Look like he'd never saw sunlight like you, would order in food and never leave the Fucking House for days, and he came down the coming storm one night and those it's so weird, I'm so good at making money in my online life and so bad in my real life, he was started to realize that, like he's a fucking loser in this life because he's he's excited and puts all of his passion and energy into this other life. But that's just really because this other life is a new and exciting thing. You know a new, an artificial thing and he can control it from his computer without dealing with emotions and dealing with all the you know,
fears and anxieties of the real world presents, but the reality is if we live life in a computer screen and we were offered the real world as a video game, the real world would be so much more fantastic. You know we just don't think of it as being fantastic because we're so goddamn used to it. You know if we lived life in a computer and a computer monitor and that's how you were when you were born and then one day someone said you know: hey we've developed this new game that allows you to go outside and you go outside. You actually get laid and didn't go and have a real drink and you feel it you do a real shot of jack. Ten there's a whole like shit. This is real. I can't believe it. You know you go get laid for real and you drive a car for real you'd. Be like do the real world. Is the fucking shit? You would never want to play video games. The reason why we want to play video games is because it's a world that we can control completely independent from all the the the like the pros and cons of this, this solid world completely independent of the emotions and the insecurities and all the shit that we all experience, but we don't like, but the reason why we experience in securities and anxiety and anger. These are all like little chemical signals to guide you through towards a proper life like what I found in life. Most importantly, more than anything is that the one the way that I'm the most happiest is, if I'm put
now positive energy, I'm putting out positive energy to people to friends, positive energy on stage positive energy. With my writing, my work with with anything I'm doing it's all friendly and positive and happy, and if you do that, you know you can you can have a fucking fantastic life. The problem is it's just difficult to do it's hard, to keep your shit together. It's hard not to lose your temper. It's hard not to you know, be obsessed with something and get sidetracked, and that's what like, gambling, addictions and masturbation addictions and all that shit. That's what that's all about this like you're, trying to distract yourselves from all the pain of being a human. You know I mean I think, fucking Hunter S Thompson had a quote like that, like man making himself a beast to get it from the pain of being a man, I forget exactly what the quote was, but
something along those lines like we distract the shit of ourselves, because the game of life is fucking hard to do. Man just like a video game is hard. Do you remember like back when I used to play quake like all the time I played quake like hours and hours a day and you and I played quake online. We played each other and, like you can tell the difference between someone is playing all the time because you get really good at it. You know, you know where the Rockets are gonna go. I was sticking rail guns up your ass and electric. I think you want one hundred and twenty games and I want one yeah. Maybe now you hold me not fair and lie and believe me there's dude online. That would do that to me just raped me why? Because they had put so much time into this fucking crazy game. They would get good at it. But since you hadn't put time how frustrating was it so zero you didn't want a player right now want to shut it off. That's exactly the same his life. If you get good at life of the game, then it's fun. It's fuck! It's awesome! You know
if you're, Leonardo Dicaprio life must be the you know, I'm saying he starred in movies driving a ferrari keeping my name for models he's got a gigantic fucking mansion, I mean he's a he's a movie. It must be so fun for him, but not everybody could be Leonardo Dicaprio. So if you're, a fucking garbage man who's, you know came home and his wife is fucking. The newspaper guy, you know, that's that's not a fun life. That's that's! That's! Just like a guy who's, not good at quake. Getting murdered in a game, stop fun man, it's like playing pool if you're good. Like I play pro, I love pull up. I get obsessed with, but I have a friend my friend MAX Everly he's a professional and he
is a top professional. I mean he's capable of winning when he's in stroke, capable of winning any tournament in the world. I mean he's really fucking good and when I play against him, sometimes it's so frustrating and I played pretty good like for a regular person. I play good, but for like a pro, not even fucking close. So when I play MAX is just getting. My ass handed to me is just getting fucked. The only time it's fun is when we play on a really really tight table. So occasionally he misses that get to shoot. You know, so it he's much better at that game. We should give a man a cap of some sort movie. Now we just will play for anything, it's good. For me, it's good for me, because you get used to playing. I guess got that it's not as fun as playing it's. A guy was like your speed, but it's really good for your game, because it make sure the you capitalize on every mistake, sometimes
play guy, who is not as good as you and you like. I don't worry about this because if I miss this guys going to miss and I'll have another shot with MAX every time you miss you like fuck, I better I better sit down for a while anyway. I believe that. The hundreds quote is actually from Samuel Johnson English author. Thank you very much, sir. I thought it was one hundred times a thank. You see: Jamichael Henny, Mcelhinney What about words or names like Schwarzenegger? How the fuck did that ever get through what culture ran out of sounds people that white string together, something nutty like that people that, like to write in cursive is that this is going to be the best cursive writing. I've ever seen like manuscripts, lays to write it on page that they didn't have lines in the paper. They just had paper and they would write it exactly. Have you ever heard of Onix manage manuscript?
the one is one niche manuscript. I don't know if I'm saying it right is this ancient manuscript that was found hundreds of years old, and they
no fucking idea what it says they don't know, the language cover, don't know anything about it. They don't know if it's just nonsense. If some guy was just practicing scribble, but it's like really long is consistency and how it's written, but they can't decode. It they've had like top encryption experts and it's like it's very divided, like some people, believe it's a hoax and some people believe that it's some fucking LOS language and some people think that it's glossed like Glossa Lalia, like when someone talks in tongues and that they just went into a trance organism retard with a pen. No because it's got really good writing. It's got diagrams in it, really good good, really, good, illustrations, router and diagrams, and it's like yeah, it's really complicated. You know they found that that that Temple in Turkey, that is seven thousand years older than the pyramids very complex, stone, Temple carved out of stone, shit and now they have to like rewrite like human history, because, like
seven thousand years before Egypt is nine thousand and ten thousand BC and ten thousand bc they were already like had temples and like that throws a monkey wrench clank into the wrench gears of of this, the of the idea of cultural evolution. You know: there's been this guy John Anthony W John Anthony W looked up on Google 'cause, this guys fascinating, he's, gotta, awesome, DVD Series called magical Egypt, and this guys obsessed with Egypt. He spent his entire life studying Egypt and he believes that the egyptian culture goes back way way way before the established timelines, like the established timelines for egyptian cultures like two thousand five hundred BC. That's when they think like the pyramids were built, and then the culture goes back a little bit before that, but not much, and he Heath it goes back like thirty five thousand years, he thinks
that people have been around way way longer and that there was some big break somewhere along the line, like probably some sort of a natural cataclysmic disaster like a meteor impact, or something like that. You know, and it could be twenty five thousand years ago, like they don't know when it waas, but they think that there was like an advanced culture and then boom. I got fucked up, and then culture rebuild society, rebuilds and then what's left is like they're living in this shit. That was made thousands and thousands of years ago, and they tried to imitate it and re create it and they can't- and he believes that that's what it is like these is fucked up pyramids that they have in Egypt. It's not that these pyramids were like the first pyramids. He thinks much much more likely. The pyramids were probably like people. Words like trying to duplicate other shit, duplicate shit that was already there. You know they believe that that that's actually mess on his theory that someone else is theory. Theory is one of things about the sphinx they brought in geologists
and the geologists have like documented the erosion on this thanks and they say: there's water erosion like thousands of years of rainfall, of cut deep fissures in the whole enclosure with the sphinxes and the problem with that is the last time there was rain fall in the Nile Valley was like seven thousand nine thousand BC, so that would mean that the the this the pyramids and over the sphinx rather would have to be like seven thousand years, young older than the established timeline, and so Of course, none of the Egyptologist, like the guys, have been teaching forever that the pyramids and the sphinx, all that was built about two thousand five hundred BC, they'd, never want they don't want to accept it. They go. Where is the evidence for this culture like it's right? There man, there's fucking rainfall for thousands of years have created this, and geologists are universal about that. There's no one is disputing that geologists are all saying he's got. Hunt this guy ran shock, who is a professor at Boston University has
got over one hundred professional professors, geologists to sign off on the fact that this is undoubtedly water, water erosion which completely changes the timeline for when the sphinx was built There's a bunch of that shit going on in Egypt. They believe that it's, like probably you know, maybe even thirty thousand years old there's a mass extinction, took place on the earth somewhere around ten thousand years ago, and that's when the woolly mammoths died. Instantaneously. That's when the Saber tooth TIGERS died, Noah's Ark now this before then, the like Ten thousand years ago, North America, like half of North America, was under a mile high sheet of ice like there was an ice age going on and something killed it and ended it like instantaneously, and they don't know what it was.
It's a very, very likely that it was a fucking natural disaster. It's very likely that it was a fucking meteor impact that some whatever that guys are distracting the shit outta me. So I don't look at me. Well, don't fucking have a monitor open in front of me. Dude surfing he's not even paying attention. We do one week podcast this dude so addicted to the internet. He can't even talk for one week. I've heard you talk before you heard me talk well. This is online. Do this six hundred and seventy five people that have not heard this store and look at shut up faggot, anyway, I think people been around way longer. I think it's it's more likely that it's just ridiculous that people still don't believe. Even in how long run spin around you know I mean like, like people leave the earth's tent yeah. It just drives me crazy. When you know that's on not monster number more than fifty percent of America, according to a Gallup poll which is not the same because the Here'S- the thing about polls
you can't say like, according to a recent poll, fifty percent of Americans believe this, because no no, according to your recent poll, fifty percent of Americans who are fucking retarded enough to answer your poll, believing that that's the reality of that polls are never representative of anybody intelligent. Because you can't get me to answer a fucking pole. You can't get you, you got shit to do. Don't you have a hobby, you hear someone calls you. May I have five minutes your time? No! That's for like old, ladies who have no friends. That's what that is! Look at this glitter war, I'm fucking super baked, and I just don't. Wanna hang out with a person like um, okay, five minutes, okay, trying to be nice, but the reality is polls. Poles represent retards, you're, fucking, you're, a dollar. Your answering polls got damn it. Only time I do a pool as if I think, I'm going to win something. If I answer twenty percent of Americans can't find the United States on a globe is that true, Joe beef don't be lying Joe, his line beef. Would you make that shut up
solar flares up in two thousand twelve bro we're Clawson the galactic Equator? Then you know what you know: there's a guy which is Richard Tyson. Is that his name name? What is that guys name? The astronomer really need. Buy some Neil Tyson, very, very intelligent guy, and I really like listen to him talk and one of the things you said about this whole crossing, the aquatic whatever What is it was that the exact the way this guy glad equator. I think I think that's what this guy said like we're crossing through the center of the galaxy, like we, everything everything's in line on December, 21st? First, two thousand and twelve- you know what he says. He says that happens all the time he says. He says that, like that, like line up with the center of the galaxy doesn't doesn't happen, then, because it happens all the time and nothing happens, so who knows, if he's right, if he's one of those guys it's like super skeptical, but I think
it's much more likely is going to happen in two thousand twelve, but something technological. Something technological, some crazy invention, you know like it could be that to it could be that two thousand twelve? What really happens is nothing happens, and then people realize hello. We have to actually manage this life. We can't just rely on aliens landing. I was more scared about two thousand just because it that made sense where all the computers planes dropping from the sky scared to I didn't. I did not do a gig right. Two thousand I stay home yeah. I thought for sure there was at least can be something small went to the isn't it crazy increase. That's ten years ago now time is just fucking flying by man. It's crazy fast! It's weird it all feels like it's quicker every year and everybody says that. But time really is quicker, would have like clocks are moving quicker to. We just can't really establish it, because that would
about digital? What about digital clocks, the all exist in this fucking dimension? Maybe this dimension is moving quicker. What time are you know almost I think, we're forgetting more so it feels like we're getting more of the day 'cause we have more information, yeah, maybe I have, thoughts on the Zeit, Geist Movement, you know what I think about Zeit, Geist and all that stuff. So there's a lot of like it's poorly researched like stuff that he said about Mithra and different different gods and stuff that that, like Jesus, that is really poorly researched and incorrect and been proven wrong. There's a website that says, I think it's, it's common debunking, Zeit, Geist, or something like that. I forget what the what the website is titled, but
I mean the guy just breaks down all the errors that the dude who made the movie made in this is, you know, he's he's quoting references and and showing the very clearly that a- the Geist guys have made some big problem: big, big fuckups ups, and I think, his whole, how sure he is September 11th was was designed and that the and perpetrated by the US government in that tower one in tower two fell. They were, they were detonated like you're sure that you know look. No one is sure that that's crazy. You can't set free spalt. Now all this talk of freefall, speed and the towers fell at free fall, speed yeah. They felt pretty fucking fast, but that's what happens when shit falls apart? It falls apart, pretty fucking fast, specially shit that super heavy and gigantic, and all that weight is on it's all just collapsing who the fuck knows what happens when
build a building that way and you fly a fucking giant plane filled with jet fuel into it. The only way to really know I mean you could have theories, but the only way to really know is to build another building and fly another jet into it exactly the same way and see what happens and if it falls down exactly like that, one then the arguments pretty much over and if it doesn't, then you have to go well, ok, well, what was inside the building? Did it all burn? The same was exactly constructed the same. You know when you got to try it again. I mean you have to fucking, have more than two buildings to go on, everybody is like buildings have never fallen before and that the government does some nasty evil shit. That is absolutely a fact, but you don't know you don't know what happened there and to say that you know is just as bad as people who blindly trust in the US government. The thing that question that I have a big question about when it comes to September 11th is Tower seven. If you watch video online, this video of tower seven falling and info just like a controlled demolition,
go straight down wish all at once, and it's really crazy to watch man. You know because, like it implodes from the basement down and every
level falls apart, including like jets of energy like spring out of windows, like there's blasts I mean, maybe that could be because its collapse- and I mean that's a whole floor of error being right to that one. But the problem is, it all falls the exact same time in that building was even hit by a plane. It was on fire and he had a hole in it from like debris and stuff and I could see it falling down, but there was a hole in one corner in the hole if it's a hole there and the buildings have collapsed with the collapse towards the hole I mean. Does that make sense? Maybe it also makes that since the whole pox standing on a pop campaign where you stand on a pop, can you knock a little bit off the side? It's not gonna find over you're going straight down to the way you know, meaning that it's so heavy, even if there's a hole on it could deal with that matters is going straight down. That's maybe maybe I I think with all that and I'm like yeah I'm quite as people are freaking out about and care about it, because without them you know the government's going to get away with a bunch of. But in my opinion you know, I don't care. If the government did Xbox they did. You know, I'm still waking up eating cereal yeah. Well, you there is one thing you have to consider mean it's like you. You you mean: how is this going to help you? How can I help you in your life? I know if you get obsessed with us yeah, that's too much. Here's the bottom line, people the thing: the government wouldn't kill people and nobody died. Our seven supposedly
but the same people who are good people who think that the government would not kill people. This is all you need to know for sure they start wars. Then don't need to be started. That's one hundred percent fact for sure. The Gulf of Tonkin Incident that got us into the Vietnam WAR. That was a fake fucking attack on Americans. They faked it faked. It made this big deal about it so that everybody would get fired up and realize we have to go to Vietnam. That's this is history. You know and the fact that they, they wrote up the thing called operation, Northwoods, the Northwoods document and the Northwoods document was they were planning attacks on Americans and they were going to this in nineteen sixty two and they were going. This is signed by the joint Chiefs of staff by the way and vetoed by Kennedy, they're gonna tack. One time a day you get a lob grenades into and mortars into Guantanamo Bay and possibly kill american soldiers. They're gonna blow up a jetliner in blame it on the Cubans and
they were going to tell Americans. We have to go to war with Cuba, where people going to fucking die in that war for sure and people gonna die in a war that Americans didn't want, and so they they decided to do what's called a false flag and make attacks on Americans and blame it on the Cubans and that's a fact: they're they're willing to kill people and Only three thousand people died in September eleven for sure that's a lot of people were not making light of it, but in comparison. How many people have died in Iraq during the fucking war? They're talking about, like a million civilians, have died in Iraq since the invasion, a million I mean that click as at and yeah. Millions will die from that earthquake in Haiti, but that we don't have it h, D video. You know seeing a breast yeah, but we don't we're not responsible for that. No, I mean, I know I know I know, but I think the reason that they're willing to kill people right right. I think the reason why we're focused on it just because of that that we all watched it life where, if you know, if we saw these people in Iraq it shot live on tv will probably be.
As big as nine hundred and eleven you know. Well, I don't know about that. You know, I think I think. Well, I think the idea is it was an attack on american soil. I mean that's really why it was such a big deal, and then I mean I remember how everybody gets so patriotic after hours. Do you, member after September 11th that everybody had fucking american flags in their car? Remember that feeling you, Eastern Ohio back right did they have am in Ohio. Oh yeah is crazy bag. I left I want to work one day I don't think I was doing fear factor the time I might have been, but I was driving down down the street near my house and everything can car had an american flag on. It was crazy and I was like this is just weird there's a weird feeling. It's like, like people are blowing up their body, just just go to fucking more. You realize like how war like this fucking culture really is and how sheep like and how people are just immediately willing to fight by who, though the people who did it or dead
it was a suicide attack, so the people that were responsible for the deaths of those people are all dead. I mean unless you're one of those crazy mother fuckers that doesn't believe that it was a real plane and then and then people that believe that you know they were piloted by remote control on the planes were empty and with uh, shit happy normal is way is this: ten years ten years and I'm we're still talking about it. Oh my god, you know so anyway. Talk to people who claim to know that's when it's really frustrating man it was a plane into the Pentagon, was missile where's. All the people that died in the plane crash than what they just they took them, and why would they say it's a plane while they shoot a missile and say it's point why? Whether all of the parts on the lawn I mean come on man talk about this before sing that song, this yeah
yeah. I think we actually last week or two weeks, what's fear factor IL nothing. Israel depends on how much acid you take Joe Rogan hates Bruce Springsteen is so not true, not true just trying to get attention motherfucker. No, I hate to Springsteen born to run and that's a great fucking, brilliant disguise. That's a great fucking song. Never got it dude. I don't love all Bruce Springsteen, I'm not going to sit through a fuckin three hour. Concert of anybody's it would have to be, like probably would have to come back from the dead in Floyd. Do I might sit through three hours of pink? No, I would not get bored, they don't have three hours of good songs but but I love some summer, Bruce Springsteen songs, now, some of them in the fucking shit. You not lose. No one is going to like. I bought an old rolling stone on the other day 'cause. It had one sign on it that I really liked. I forgot what it was, but the rest of the album was dog. Shit and rolling stones. You know you think about how many great songs they have. They have a lot of fucking albums. If you go back into some of those older albums, listen to some of those songs that you don't know
she shit, you know not not. Now nobody puts out something that everybody loves. You know If I like, I mean it's very rare that I like a whole album from a band. Have you ever been to our real orgy, like with more than ten people having sex in the same room as like you walked in here, like what the fuck is going on in the origin. Yeah like a real. I know on urban or dream of you now. It just seems like all these Tampa men were Tampa FL. So when I was trying to get us to go to a sex club because you got it at a Swingers club that happen again with me and ARI in thing was Nashville Mean Army were in Nashville. This driver, who drove us to the UFC, drove us to the comedy club, the same driver all week and then he's dropping us off at the airport, as he's dropping a science like well, if you guys you're back in town. No, I have Fucking Swingers club that I belonged to what and he was. I go with swingers like who yeah me and my wife are swingers your swingers, so you let dudes fuck. Your wife is like well, you know she, let's me, and I have to let her what,
well? We get to choose, though we have veto power. That's why I said we got veto power. I go so some dude, you feel like you can't follow. Oh yeah! No, no! No! No! No big young studs, like he's getting chewed, but he wants like old, bald fucking. Vacuum salesman, banging his wife lives mouth I'm like to watch guys, don't want to watch you don't want to watch. I want to watch your wife is getting fucking, stuffed in another room. How crazy is that bitch? You know how crazy is she you, whenever I hear about chicks that want to fuck like a bunch of different things at the same time like that, is there something I mean, look we're all wired differently, and you know I like hot sauce, you like hot sauce,
like spicy food. I, like fucking, really spicy food. Like I fuck myself up, I like daves insanity, sauce on burritos and I'm sweating. Pour sweat is pouring in my face. My tongue is on fire now, the most people they wouldn't like that. But I like that for some weird reason. Maybe some girls just like dicks in everywhere. You know- maybe they like it. Maybe it's just like they're just going crazy, but it's not maybe they're broken yeah. It depends on the person, some of them for sure fucked up there is this girl on the Howard Stern, show today that got fuck so hard in the ass that it tore a hole in her intestines? No, is she sewed it back up, and then she was talking about how she's, just the other day, had two dicks in her ass? Wouldn't you once your intestines for, if open my god, what is this girl she's in the New Jersey Shore, Porn Jersey, whore, or something like that? Somebody knows you guys know. There's a bunch of you, fucking pervert
god dammit! You people know it is. I forget her name Theresa or something that whoever was listening to the stern show today and heard that you had MR hands. That sounds just like MR hands, but that that a regular dick doing that to you is that's even more the horse, Dick you look at it and you go. How does it not kill you yeah and the most amazing thing about that? Mr hands thing? If you don't know what Mr Hans is it's a guy who got fucked death by horse and there's a video of it online, you could watch the guy getting fucked by the horse, but the amazing thing is doing Tom. They did it Teren, Thomas beautiful. Thank you very much. My hubris. You fucking pervert. But the amazing thing about the horse. Fucking video is that apparently, this guy got fucked by a horse a bunch of times and nothing happened like he was okay
how's MR hands is your nine eleven because you talk about that shit every day. Is there a? Is there a point where you're like man? I do talk about fucking horse fund a lot more than you know, because it's a bit of my I know. But now it's like part of my job. Remember that shit the ball face. I used to go behind. You always make the faces all time. Well, I found myself doing it on normal faces. So, like you'll, be my mom like a mama's, take a photo on their back. I got my oh I'm doing this all the time now I have to stop. So that's why I stopped in the ball face. It was like something that was like in my head. If you don't know what the body faces- and this is ah thing that went on for literally like five years every time I took a picture with someone like you know, something came to a show and I want to take a picture with me every time Brian was behind them like this and there's we have to organize them and put the money. It's on my space with a lot of them are, but the other one million more any of theirs were talking about no bullshit five years worth of shows thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of pictures all with Brian behind it making crazy fucking faces. I have a picture of me and David Lee Roth and you're behind it yeah. I think that last one I did were the one that made me realize. I need to stop doing this when I did the Braca Lessner and I was so drunk and the next day I'm like. I did not do it with broccoli, like the one you did with think I did to take, but no the Brock Lesner one like I was like. I need to stop. He could easily kick my ass right then, and oh, my god, I don't have that picture. You got to send that day. I'm gonna put this up all the shit. That's awesome, I'm gonna. Do it right now because
wow. I never seen that photo before yeah I'll put that shit up put it on Flickr. Do whatever, but I I can't believe Office David Lee Roth yeah. It's I can't wait to. I shouldn't say this, but I can't wait to one day where David Lee rocked won't be around babies one. So we can we do. Are you won't be in this video of us all hanging out with David Lee Roth? I don't know, I don't know you can say I don't mean to I mean like he doesn't care say about right. Now is what he told us not to talk about. I mean he doesn't want the video come out, so the last thing we do is talk about. What's on the video? No, no, I just say we all sat around talked yeah a but with, but how I loved little man, you say you can't weekly dies. You can receive no, no, no! No just so we can see like new. It was also yeah right. Yes, it was.
It was just cool talk again right. It was basically just David Lee Roth talking about crazy road stories and most nothing scandalous. Now it was just mean it's fucking, David Lee Roths. You know it's just weird hanging out with somebody that you grew up as a kid listening to buy his albums that gold circle and yeah. It's amazing hanging out with David Lee Roth, with this shit right hold on I'm going to choose. The photo will put that shit online, so you guys, but this this picture of Brian going Nutty behind David Lee Roth, is just indicative of one okay and you probably have to use some of you. Guys probably have those of me. In the background, a demon, no people get so mad. I am almost startled face off me before just get so mad people deal joke Bro just for national, do behind you and I'm like no, no he's. My friend he's actually get paid to do that. Okay, as him, the memory came back twice: yeah, so pissed off or mad. Well, there's weird people that, like
there's weird people that fucking like take pictures that they take with you and like put them like in their living room training. I went to this guys house once we do this fear factor thing. Please don't tell me that fire fox is fucking crashing against dirty, cunt Oh my god, you fucking piece of shit. We still on come on. Dude come on, I don't know. Ha, my god, you fucking piece of shit God, damn it dude going to lose this fucking recording too, as it were, released dude. What are you doing? Go to show?
What do you do back? It was a mess lays in German. We we tried to to come Like online, I was trying to put up a new image of me and David Lee Roth and what the fuck ever Firefox crashed on me, but I was trying to show you the ball face well back right, everything's, good, I'm gonna! Try to unload it through here. Flicker also has a nice desk top loader. You should download some time. Oh just dragged into it. Oh really, yeah, okay,. She put the picture now. I think today is the last day of Firefox. Firefox can suck it
it's gotten bad. They like yeah, I've, noticed Crohn's, been really good. Yeah I've been crashing a lock with Firefox liked a lot yeah. I stopped using it yeah, okay, we're back to place German and I apologize apologize saved up. So if you I or just coming in now they the first hour and a half, is already say this annoying right, it's better! If I have a white thing on my screen because is a light, look. Light on, but it's not a light, is just a little window. I open I'm so clever. I make it so I could read your ship. You know you if you got a light behind a monitor, it actually eases your eyes and puts less strain on your eyes and see new doctor Phil, Doctor OZ, Doctor OZ, a real doctor at Knoxville,
Yeah Firefox don't blow your right. We're are using safari right now. All you fuckin silly cunts that, especially all these fucking maca is going to be the american garbage off the same guy over and over again and go fan. Two thousand and nine. You are dumb: okay, you're, dumb you're, a dumb person, this whole MAC versus pc thing. What do you give a fuck and you're telling me that pcs or somehow another better than MAX guess what douche bag pcs get viruses MAX? Don't is that with their pharmacist think reading viruses? Could you bring me one? Dude who's ever had a virus on his Fucking Mach one. I know everyone. I know who's had a pc except voodoo chicken. He claims to have never gotten a virus. That's a lie! I think. That's a lie. Every get viruses on PC's, just that alone, it's better to get a MAC. Second of all,
MAX! Don't fucking crash nearly as much. This wasn't a MAC problems of fire fox problem. Everything else will know. Computer work, fine, guess what reboot faggot listen, stop worrying about MAC versus PC is just a God Damn operating system. Like the Republicans versus Democrats, most of the people on one side of the other, just on a fucking team and their simple little brains are stuck on that team. They might not even agree with half the shit, the Republicans say, but they support the and he would say well, we got for our team. No, I don't agree with their doing right now, but most important is we support him and we know push for and you would get off public in office, two thousand twelve little brother brother, brother they're, just Washington, Redskins versus the fucking Miami Dolphins. That's all that shit. Is it steams
like Boston versus Filly, Filly, soaks, Boston Rules, that's the same moronic bullshit all right! There is no fucking Philly. There is no Boston. It's nonsense! You're a dummy shut, the fuck up, all right. How dare you where was anyway? Did you have blood that photo? Of course I did it's not other. I dare you oh,
I sort of got a percent. They also thing with that thing up quick. It is, though, so beautiful. They just told me that they're upgrading my download speed, it's like thirty, makes she's sick thanks. I don't even have twenty. I have like a sixteen or eighteen eighteen inside last ounce of eighteen, David Lee Roth, to do to to mother that's hilarious. This is what caused all the trouble. Ladies and gentleman, a God damn picture of me and David Lee Roth, but was just to prove that Brian has been making this crazy office for years, because this picture David Lee Roth was like was like from two thousand five six three or four years ago, just before we got banned for
in the comedy or the hobby store thing, yeah 'cause, it was at the comic store. So that's two thousand and six maybe was right before he got together with back together. They fan Halen before they announced that they were going to get back to you. He was telling us about it. There, though,. All right, I just put it on my little twitter um and then you see Brian the background making that crazy face. He did that no bullshit fucking hundreds of thousands of That was a long odyssey just to get one picture for the fact that really wasn't worth it. Epic fail, indeed, indeed always talk about that an okie fan, that fella tryout Chatroulette. You know what I would think about doing that, but I don't want to see any dudes Cox randomly. I I did. I try now. I put. I found this
it's somebody already did this before, but I found this found big black chick and I put her on and then I did it just and recorded the screen and stuff. But like maybe ninety percent Cox, and I yeah there's not even funny. I don't it's really sad, so many creepy people out dated. Well, you know what is Jews that want to show their dicks at work and they just never get the opportunity, but they get at home, and then we're going to fucking wrestling mask and they go crazy employees, and this is suppression man. It's like catholic school girls. Remember, catholic school girls, when you were a kid there was the biggest slots right yeah yeah. Why? Because they never seen a dick there wished away to some fucking magical place, where only girls exists, they have all girl, teachers and shit and they were told the dicks are evil and they just can't wait to suck one. They can't wait. Those bitches can't wait. They can't wait to get up during the day. Just want to do the forbidden thing. It can suppress human
I would like to do it with maybe like a five year old girl on loop to sitting there going like this. Like that, See if any of these guys with dicks put, I put it away, they sit there all they would fucking love it. Well, we can record them put on Youtube. That's not a bad! If we get a fake loop, this little kid just sitting there going like like she's looking at the monitor and see if the like immediately disconnects or if he sits there, an extra couple of, and so they well. How does it work? They pull their dicks out immediately to socialize yeah. What what is right? It just automatically put you in with the room with another person both on web cam, and after do they have their dick out. When I thou, when it when I was doing it was just guys stroke so right when he went in there like okay. So that's what you should do you should we should get a the of like a five or six year old girl, just freaking the out from the beginning, right sold only work in the guys. That are to be not frank, because otherwise you have to time it like. You know how tire like normal
and then going. Oh, my god, yeah yeah yeah and have her scream called. But we don't have to do it. We just have to work on. You know that kind of, like dial, better better to college freak, this mother, Fucker out. You know yeah because they can catch you. The freaky, weird dudes are mostly straight gay, get sex all the time. We are less repressed. Yeah right, shut, the fuck up. Let me type something everyone's fucked. Don't you tell me the days are less repressed course. You more repressed. Society represses gay sex, gays, our justice fucked up is religion, reply, repressing straight sex and a lot of gays grew up in religious households too, and that makes some extra fucked up. It's not like a coincidence that gay people do so much crystal meth and there's so many gay people that love to party and their lives become a rack on a
fucking towards their immune system. Gay people there's a lot of crazy fucking gay people and not repressed, and always mean that you're not fucked up mean how 'bout bug bug chasers about do that are purposely trying to get aids. You know that gay do to prep. We try to get HIV, they want to get it. They think there's something hot about it, and so they go and have unprotected sex on purpose hoping to get HIV that's fucked up. You know you can't say that gay people are less fucked up sexually. Then people everyone's fucked humans across the board universally, are fucked up. It's just way too difficult to come out and have your shit together mean how many people, like really have their shit together. If you had a gas, the numbers, no one really as there's no but I mean have you- should go to a point where you know, like he's not doing anything right south active is being productive and positive. It's like maybe one out of one hundred men out of the people that you meet.
One out of one hundred, the other, ninety nine or nuts. You know half nuts par really, not your nuts, I'm not sure both nuts, you know, I mean how many I mean. Even the Dalai Lama's fucking nuts Dalai Lama said he called. He said that oral and anal sex were forget. The exact work turns he used. Sexual yeah. Deviations or something like that, but it was. I forget, the term that the Dalai Lama use, but basically was saying that oral sex is really bad. It's terrible for you do it you shouldn't, eat the just love it. It feels good, and I like doing it right, you like to hear, but there's actually there's actually science now saying that it can cause cancer in the person. That's eating out the girl now or something like that Are you fucking member? We talked about this once we talked to science. No, we never talked about getting pussy yeah. We made a video. We made a video about it where I talk about eating pussy and we were talking about in the video, but we didn't say eating poo
yeah is this something that came out. They were talking about how you like to clock out of it like a slug, I know, but that's how we started over, that. I don't remember: eating pussy juicy cancer dude. I think you might have just made that up no or sex! Please twitterverse, tell me sweet Jesus! Please please! Please tell me that you yeah there was some kind of study that I'm eating oral sex increases. Throat. Cancer risks Marriott scientist said no! That's for girls, because dudes, who have Fucking Dick Ward shove, their dick in girls, girl's mouth and the girls mouth gets infected. View of the human pop Aloma goes both ways. Girls and guys can both get the HPV virus from eating pussy yeah. If you wanna work for chicks, because you're fixing up with fucking blow.
But in early you know you might get a clock back there in the corner that gets inside a open sore an amount that does sort of make sense. Oral sex can cause throat cancer March, ninth two thousand so, Kind of sucks, though 'cause, that's my favorite thing to do so. I moved on to the app quick FUCK son. What's wrong with you boy what time I got here, four hundred and forty three, but we were down for ten minutes so who's this one done You keep saying, have I ever shipped my pants, but you know there's something wrong with you as a human being. If you keep answer asking the same stupid program
shin over and over and over again, like the sandy. That's what's in there working with you, that's what's interesting to let's go to law, we're gonna, go to forum, start Joe Rogan dot net and see what the questions are. We put up a thread like we do every week here, um people ask questions and shit and. Dallas this weekend, Addison Improv Arenites almost sold out so It is almost sold out late, Show Saturday night is sold out, there's only forty or fifty tickets left for a shows, Friday and sat or bull shows on Friday and the first so on Saturday. So it's selling out quick. So if you want to come to Dallas by the time we radio
we get on the radio, it's gonna sell, quick, we're gonna do Lex and Terry and a couple of the radio stations. So that's you know if you want to jump on, you gotta jump on it. Now, when you gonna get your tattoo uh dumb new one yeah, that's gonna start in April get into the sleeve, but that's not what I want to get covered up online, we're giving back. On top of that. What are you crazy explosion cat? What does that jacket today? You know that I wanna go. I'm gonna go and get this laser off. Are you alright yeah laser yeah? This on the old one. I have up here. Cuz, I'm doing the whole sleeve Delays are there are no, you have to go to a clinic that and it hurts like a mother fucker, but tattoo, let's see, let's say, don't be a pussy that they were to ever tell them how I found out what my to about the whole thing. Ok, okay, so show the tattoo first tell the most
ok! So when I was younger, I was a manager of a movie theater. One of my employees wanted to be a tattoo artist, tells the story I'm going to be one of my employees wanted to be a tattoo artist and she her boy, I owned a tattoo studio, so the all time she's, like you, know, he's teaching me everyday how to do tattoos, and I do it on like watermelons or something like that. The practice and she's been doing it forever and finally, one day she's, like you know what I'm going to start doing tattoos now. So if you know anyone that needs a tattoo, she like I'll hook them up, and I, wow. How much are you charging like she's like for you? You know for free or something like that 'cause, because you'll be my. First person to ever. Do it. So I'm like thinking free tattoo. That's awesome so, but there it took her eight app hours or something ridiculous to do this tattoo and originally was supposed to be an egyptian turtle with my name in Chinese or the letter r in Chinese in the middle turtle in chinese
some stupid, I was really stoned or whatever it hurts so bad. She did nothing but scar me, so I have tons like scar tissue and it's like the gayest, Looking tattoo looks like spider man. You know it was in a gang gang fight or something like so anyways S. So one time I met this bar in the China. This girl goes. Let me see a tattoo and she goes. Why do you have that on your arms and she really talk like it was worse than that she had a cock in her mouth, but She she looked at it and she goes. Let me see that you guys. Why do you have that on your arm like, like you, you bout about an r in Chinese, my last name blah blah blah? I guess that's not an RC. That's like flowing water. That's like a waterfall. Do you like waterfalls? So I guess my tattoo means water from seed again. Okay, anyway, was thinking about getting there getting that that you know how those cats in chinese restaurant yeah they have a clock that could be like the clock
yes I'll have Aaron Dellavedova from groove. Tattoo will do it together and be awesome. Or we have some outgrew, they have left seven fucking killer artists. He can recommend somebody will have him draw a honkey, comma God. I got my tattoo done at guru, tattoo in San, Diego and they're awesome killer artist, I've got it did me is Aaron Dellavedova and he only does big giant pieces. He did my whole sleeve fifty hours we went down there. I think seven right, her, that's gonna be the same. We do this yeah they're, really we're gonna. Do this there too remember that again yeah we got so we're going to do. Brian's, we'll we'll find you a good artist and he's got a kid: a whole killer staff of killer our hunky con still there so we're sure. Every day it's not her. Daddy is ability, as we can find out my own gear attacks. When is red band start stripping and we're kind of,
Lapo high flappo, hello. Kitty is worse than waterfalls. It's not the hello Kitty, man, how dare you bro hello, kitty. I think the good Luck hand and take up barb. I peed I've never done a bump in my life, it's one of the few drugs that I've never done. There's a bunch from that I've never done it, never done anything addictive. This hockey hung in there trying to artist. They had a budget killer man that place it's in Pacific Beach, Canadian still works worked on. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that guy lost his marbles um anyway. What what the fuck we're talking about? Tattoos, no doing cocaine in the the never done coke any ever, because when I was in high school, my friend Jimmy his cousin with selling coke shouldn't said my friend, who let you fucking gas, but he was selling it and when he was doing that he lost all this weight and he fucking would like
hide in the basement or in the attic rather and just they would do Coke and watch tv in him as a girl from which is on the east, and I saw his whole life all poor, like I watched it happen, and I remember like sand that flock of stuffed bad for you. I just remember nothing but bad things from high school and- and you know right after high school of people and Coke, just like I just was very obvious to me that Coke is like the worst thing. You can do thirty, nitrous now like from what that's yeah, I did it once once when I worked at a ice cream place. I don't like it and skim at had a hat. We used to go out on MDMA so grasping for that. I I did ecstasy once only one time and it was awesome, but the next day was so bad. The next day I was so stupid. My brain was like it felt like us, sponge that have been just wrong out dry and then just left in the sun. You know, and then you try to
clean, something with it. It was just like it was so my brain was so down it. Just I was feeling so bad. The next day I was like this cannot be good for you. It's gotta be fucking terrible for you who knows what it was in it though it might not have just been MDMA pure MDMA. It might have been like they say that people cut it with speed and shit like that. You know, but anyway yeah. I couldn't read the next day that Green Bram Show Gallery REM, Shoot gallery yeah. I couldn't read the next time literally, I was sitting in a Starbucks and I was trying to read a magazine and I was like I can't even concentrate on this. I could literally couldn't focus it was. It was bad
fucking, great time, though, that night, I can understand why people do it, and I guess, if you're, not a big reader, you don't mind feeling stupid the next day, wouldn't be a problem, but for me man, I've talked to people say this the next day they feel fine. Let's just depends how much like straight nines in it and stuff like that, we ever candy flipped, where it's at piece of candy and has ecstasy on one side and pass it on the other side of her. That's crazy, though it's a great combo, but I heard it's like whenever you combine things like that, the recovery times just accelerated even more time. I won't do it nowadays. So what else? What's the best weed the best weed is the weed that you got bitch You know if you, if you have the options, see the beautiful thing
california- is this there that guy's style. I totally see that I think the thing that's cool about. California is the fact that you get go these places and experience with all these different strains. That's. Joey Diaz thinks that Tiger looks like Joey Diaz thinks that he should make sure we'd up every day we're on gurutattoo dot com. Who are you tattoo? Joey says that if you smoke the same weed everyday, you get used to it. But if you mix up strains everyday that everyday is like boom boom, so Joey buys a little bit of weed everyday. It's like a smoke weed everyday. You get used to.
I mean I have to take good three days off nowadays, but she always makes weed everyday. I try not to be smokes weed everyday Joanne. Take Off yeah, you know when you go we're on the road and like we passed by Joeys hotel Room, we're all staying in same hotel. When you go to get Joey his room stinks of weed, I mean fuckin stinks every day, it a week. He always knows the right guy, Dial get him weed and he always gets it Joeys in everyday weed guy. I don't. I don't smoke weed everyday. I take days off. I think it's I don't like that I don't like being completely obliterated every day, then I don't think that is healthy,
All right, let's go to the questions on the message board. Oh you're, Charlotte North Carolina did changed, changed or uh, but then you changed, it did. What is it now? It's a move south and hey a most south end, okay, whatever they were there for a so the way it always works is whenever I'm in town for UFC. I always do a gig the day before. So, let's go to the message board. I did a gig in Sydney had a great fucking time. Australian people are the shit that show was fun man, but the show was could could have been better because I got too drunk the night before. Oh, we got too drunk. My brain was first of all, I was fucked up. I could not sleep 'cause you're nineteen hours ahead when you go to Australia, so your body doesn't know what time it was I'd be exhausted.
I go to sleep three hours later I wake up and I didn't. I thought I was taking a nap like my body had no idea. I could not sleep for like eight hours in a session. I couldn't do it. So it's sleep like three hours rob I try to read it beat off. I try to go back to sleep again at sea for another hour and a half week up again, like it was so confusing, but Friday night we got there. There was me and at and Thompson time score mean any in Times square. We went to a bar and got flock in bullets. Creek. We just pulled up to the bar. We we we, we set up shop, great right by the bar at this club and you start buying people drinks just went nutty. I must have bought one hundred fucking drinks, just pointing drinks cheaper or mark. No, I don't get dollars all the same. Very closely. Dollars is like ninety two dollars in ninety two cents, or it might be the other prime bars might be worth ninety two, something I'm not sure which one but people are so
any kangaroos anywhere yeah. We did the zoo, depressed press kangaroos, just laying around like this mother FUCK because we were talking about earlier. More talk about the killer, whale kill, people, yeah, zoos, bum me the fuck out man. I would like to see a kangaroo in the wild, but there danger, still fuck you up. Was there anything Australia that was just completely insane like their bathrooms? Have weird lights and it's like you know how you grow up. We were talking about this being Eddie and Tom about how you know when you grow up, you're taught that everything sucks except America. Actually, all around Australia is the shit. I mean it's beautiful. It's clean, really nice houses everywhere. The restaurants were great People were friendly. You know the economy is not completely fucked you're driving on the left side, which is weird but other than that you get used. That's what's the difference. Now it's just what you're used to, but other than that it's fucking phenomenal. I mean other than that. What very country man. I mean it's amazing and comics like
my friend, Eddie Ifft he's huge over there. Which guys sells out all over the place. Does tv shows people come to see him that he could? He told me that write about it in the paper when he's at a bar, but in America, and can't can't fucking get traction for whatever reason, Orange Blossom, UFC, large barkers gigantic in Australia, fucking Ostras he sold out someplace supposedly was like a one thousand five hundred seat place, sold it out something like twenty something nights in a row I mean it's just craziness. They love american comedians over there, so the show was fucking fantastic. I had a great time few people walked out, but that's going to happen If you don't know what you're getting into you know, I was trying to tell people that if big sign in front of show. That said, warning the show will contain language and material as
stream, as you could possibly imagine, but apparently some of the shit I said people couldn't imagine so they didn't know what to expect, but sorry you're bummed out, but ninety nine percent of people have a great fucking time, but yeah it was pretty wild crazy show, but also it is because we were hammered that night too, so two nights in a row without barbecue. So I was planning on going Australia and doing all this writing. But alcohol just sticks up for can all those plans. You know you said that when you flew to Australia is like seventeen ours was the flight really did it really feel like seventeen hours was at the point where you were just like fuck this. I need to jump off this plane. This is too much or no no. No it wasn't that bad. You know you just catch. You know you just you've read: watch a fucking movie, get in your life,
I, I was going over some material on the way over there. The real problem was once I got there. I thought I was going to write, but I was just so was all get drunk recover from the drunk drink. A lot of water can truck again recover. You have my c like small little bedrooms, all nice on the plane right. It was dope. We salute first class on Qantas and some think it's called a three ten or some like that giant plane and there she, which Ma'Am the other that the it's like a little apartment was like coach like like. No closed our regular, as I would be times just coach, when you do business class, pretty dope business class, just as good as first class while pretty close to it, but coach Bob you, they said that yeah I've been like hey. Let me hang out in your bedroom up your bedroom. I can imagine flying sixteen hours from one of these,
shares to talk Jim Nussle, Raffi may on one side and Kevin Smith on the other, both after they ran a marathon. I can't believe that somebody could Kevin Smith of it still seems like how dumb are you it's like do not know who we, I guess a lot of people, don't know who he is with the with the like the way he looks like they don't know that, that's all they got famous director. You might want to shut the fuck up the guys on Twitter all day, every today. He probably ruined southwest that cost them money for sure. Don't you think well part of me thinks so, but then the other part of me is like they just got so much attention expensive. You can't specially. If you hate fat people, you would be like fuck you I'm going to SW all the way, but they lost the fat dollar. I bet there's a lot of fat people got bombed out. How is Ralphie may fly SW?
how much money that probably saved him all these pissed off at people they aren't flying SW, now, just save them and savor there's already studies that they were thinking. This is ridiculous. They were thinking about making you take a shit before you flew 'cause. They found out that if they made everyone go to the bathroom before they got on the airplane that they would say so many dollars per year. I think this was a real study that they were going to do. This was in SW, is American airlines or something like Can you imagine now that they have all these fat people pissed off, that were not fly SW? It's probably they're, probably earning five million dollars a year. How much it cost them more to fly like fuel wise to Australia, for a fat guy then, for like a small now, I'm sure that it's big enough times one hundred, then you would imagine God huh yeah it kind of makes. Maybe maybe SW paid Kevin Smith in days is all just to save them. A million a couple million here, Kevin Smith, has integrity. I met
who is cool. It do do it. He is really cool. He's a very nice guy, yeah. I met him when I came in to do rock ones Kroq in la very fun the last of the terrestrial radio stations in LA fucking. Radio in LA is finished. I wanted to do radio for a long time. I was thinking about doing it. You know I was thinking. How would a cool thing that would be like? We have some interesting conversations. You take ballers talks, people online and you know, but it just died when they had ninety seven dot, one fm talk. I was like how cool would that be? Let's get let's get on fucking radio, gig Now, let's do what you're going to do in Denver yeah. I was thinking about doing it in Denver you going back to Denver. People keep on asking me that. Well, this UFC in March, but I haven't gotten a venue to do stand up app, so I might just go back and no no, no stand up. Just have fun. Just do the UFC I want to
back and check out my house see if I could find a fucking mountain line and ate my dog. Came there in your dog, was sitting on the front. Porch he's been living off the land and he's this big Bush glassy. And believe me, he was gone for weeks. There's no way your dog does not appreciate black peoples peoples. Well, if dogs are around black people and then also they see a black person there like what the fuck, why is it that color what's going on? Can dogs see color? Maybe they just see darkness? Don't dogs see in black and white? Maybe you think it's a do the mask on hello, okay, John One: let's go to medicines, Conan's news question: Conan O'Brien is a new look over the beard and we know what he's got thirty five million in the bank. Now it's just kickin it. You know today,
a squirrel in my backyard and then three, two commercial. Somebody help me it's pretty book on it. Right now is a tweener right awaits Conan O'Brien the I love the whole con in store. It just shows you how retarded networks are you know and first of all they should never change shit. You know what they should do. I appreciate the Jimmy Fallon people enjoyed Jimmy Fallon Show, but you know what put that on a Conan O'Brien. You know go back to the way you had. It don't be stupid. You want to go Jay Leno tonight show, while you I go Middle America, throw softballs and not offend anybody and then keep Conan O'Brien, show where it was because Conan's on. He can do all that craziness the fucking insult dog masturbating, but you do it late at night, because you're do more crazy shit late at night. You know: what's this for Remember we're talking nor Mcdonald outside the ice house. He had the best point: norm. Mcdonald goes, he goes
Well, if I can never does it make what time is on anyway, nobody watch is it. You watch on your fucking, deeping aria. Yeah, you see it on Youtube. Jazz Rihanna, one thousand one hundred and thirty one thousand two hundred and thirty twelve berries banners. You can get away with more shit, he was told right I like he's saying all this, but yeah his phone was from one thousand nine hundred and eighty two so as I've used a laptop to the fact that he had a phone at all. When I, when I ran into him, I rented all Mcdonald once when I was doing some canadian gigs like a couple of years ago, and when I ran into him, he didn't have a cell phone. I had to call this home phone they've, never fucking cell phone, he didn't have one 'cause. I don't want people to just be able to get in touch with me. Fuck off and disappear. I thought that he's hilarious man he's nor norm. Macdonald a talk show would be the shit yeah. I love you, I would. I would tune into that talk show because he wouldn't get people get away with anything. You know nuts. You know he's he's a loose duties wild. He would be a good couch guy. For that
because if you were seeing him on the counts with like I forget who it waas in the whole time he was cracking jokes that was awesome would be a good like it was good side. Guy yeah and you know I have like a straight guy and then he gets the side guy. What is it take on the weed stores in LA getting raided? Fucking sucks The whole thing makes me sick. You know thing is so so strange man, it's so strange that they're still with people a pair the way the law is presented, though in California, and I'm not sure this is that they believe that the way the LOS presented is that you can give weed away and you can sell it as long as you're, not making a profit and that these collectives are supposed to be to provide
medical patients with marijuana, but apparently there's people out there that are floating the wealth and they're making a fuck load of money off of it and millions and millions of dollars off selling week. Now, if that's the case, there's two par one part of me that says: well, you know what fuck you they should be able to sell it. You know you guys, you guys are douchebags another part of me says. Maybe maybe, would be really in the spirit of weed if it was free. Maybe you really would be in the spirit of weed that it isn't there isn't for profit. You know global down man. These stores could exist and they couldn't sell it but we it's not that hard to grow. Many people would still grow and sell weed, and you know people will sell it illegally. I mean there would be plenty of people that would you know if you good weed. You got to talk to this guy and it's expensive, but I kind of like the idea of it not being there's something about it that, but
the people are over charging for this plant. Just because it's illegal, I mean it's fucking some places. It's super expensive. You know five six hundred dollars an ounce for like really powerful, quote we'd. You know which I understand the guy should get paid for his growing and this and that- and I totally respect that you should be make a certain amount of money for it, but it was legal. It would be way fucking cheaper than it is right now. The reality is the reason why it's expensive at all. The reason why these guys can make millions of dollars in profit off of selling weed is only because it's illegal and difficult to get, and you have to get it from these places. If marijuana was legal, you could grow your own, which is it should be. You have I need to buy it, you could have so compliant your backyard or pretty much already is, but it's not. This guy got fucking arrested. It's not this guy just got arrested this guy just got arrested with twenty four different counts and he's there gonna charge him and it works apparently, is what Obama has says that they're not going to charge people who were
only violating federal, locker federally it's illegal they're, going to go after people who going to vial both federal and state laws. So you have to follow state law to the letter and they're making example of this one dude apparently. Well I mean if you go and get a license, you're allowed to grow it compliance or something like that. Yeah you're allowed to grow a lot. You're allowed to have like a half a pound of weed and he's going to even get even get that other license that you can do up to like twenty one. Yes, I got that you have. They asked me if I needed exemption. I said well, what's in the exemption, for it goes well, you know the regular amount of weed is not enough know. Yes, the regular, it's not enough, so you could pretty much anyone in any way to get that even even kids could probably get this ship, but if they could get that license, so if you'd just grow within the your mouth, you could pretty much do that now
and even if the cops came over here right, but it could be people that don't have the room to grow and then you know they don't want to be hassled and they want to be able to go out and purchase it at a reasonable rate, and I I agree that there is a reasonable rate, but right now the rate is so high that marijuana is worth more than gold, marijuana is worth more worth more per pound than gold. Is that seems a little crazy. You know I mean definitely inflated because of the fact. There's no competition because of the fact that it's silly and it's a fucken plant, it should be legal. Everybody should be able to grow it if it was legal there would be nobody making millions and millions of dollars off at the real problem is that it would the economy of because pharmaceutical companies would just fucking nose. Five would be so many different pharmaceutical products that would be there would be useless. Do you know? I believe that to a point, but right now
I'd have we've whenever I, why have we, but I still have two homes for my stomach. I still have an aspirin for headaches. You know they didn't replace any of that right now. Don't have glaucoma due to you know, yeah. I have there's a lot of different medications for ADHD. Why is a lot of those of the billion dollar medicines? It's not tomes Bro, but you know what direction the most the most of these people they're saying that it's the best drug from glaucoma and stuff are just hippies morning, we'd good! If you, if you look at the medication for glaucoma in comparison, I bet no it's not you know, marijuana is the best for intraocular pressure. I believe that it's what's called when Glaucoma apparently is very painful for people and marijuana, apparently, is the best at relieving. That is the best ever restoring people's appetite when they have chemotherapy. That's why cancer patients, like it it's the best dad it's supposed that a lot of different things do. There's people that have had kids that have autism
is a video that we show to my primary that clip yeah because autism and it it was the only thing to calm the kid down made in normal, was sweet. You know it's it's great for a lot of different things and all those different things are prescription drugs that are worth fucking billions of dollars every year pharmaceutical companies, which is why they lobby against recreational drugs, so called recreational drugs, which is why, to this day, partnership, for drug Free America to this day gets money from pharmaceutical companies they got money from alcohol companies and tobacco companies, millions of millions of dollars in the past- and Because of that, it was a lot of criticism, so they no longer get money from alcohol and tobacco companies, but they still get money from fucking pharmaceutical company and farmer suit. Companies are responsible, oxy code, oxycodone, Vicodin Percocet at all that shit. I still don't think it's going to be like if they made it legal, like all these companies are going to go
business. I know my mom is not going to be smoking, weed, she's going to know I'll. Take the other thing. Some people would be dumb enough for a few generations. Yeah there would be Domino's. This is people that we just doesn't work with that's percent. Sixty percent is that's never going to change the things that we've talked about. It's not fifty or sixty percent and weed the real, effective medicine for a bunch of different things. Yeah report man be great for textiles. It would be great, for you could eat it. You I mean it has all the essential fatty acids and the seeds. You know amino acids, there's a lot of different fucking things that marijuana is good for. Besides just just getting you high right, it's incredible that it's illegal. It's really mind blowing that it's illegal. But in twenty ten, with the access to information that we have today, the fact that it's still illegal, that's fucking insane man. As you stream laggy yeah. You streams, always laggy man. Anything on the internet slide. He'd, nothing works perfectly. This fucking internet is in a it's in a stage right now. It's not done yet.
The IRS plane crash are guy having a hanger, co least by member of homeland Security and having ties to intelligence agencies. Is that true? Well, I know that he stole that plane. So I don't know it wasn't his plane if that's what you're talking about. But you know what I'm all for that guy, because Watts. Your offer that got it crashes building is planning anyone die in that. Yes, I'm sorry for asking, but I died but fuck the IRS wow, I'm still dealing with that bullshit they're, like fucking, bully. Ok, this bad bad Bobby is telling me that gold is one thousand one hundred dollars an ounce and British Columbia, and the best weed is three thousand two hundred dollars a pound. It ain't more than gold is going for less than seventeen thousand dollars a pound here in the US, so I stand corrected. Thank you very much, sir, sounds better.
Yeah, I know, what's worth more than gold: cash hash is worth more than gold. Isn't it damn? Hash is expensive as fuck. How much is a pound, a hash for more than an hour and a half high, but I don't have to look at home to a hole through another dimension to measure smoke a pound, a hash half make out of we'd somehow or another, I'm they do it resin. How do they do it, though you make it. I don't think I'm sort of a complicated process, but I've had it before and it's a very it's a strange hi, it's it's. It's very, very, very strong. I'm going to opium again opens you did opium. Forget it's not much
the ash really yeah. It looks if it isn't that I don't like heroin. No, no! It's like uh. It looks like a piece of silk. It smokes like uh, it's most smokes like hash and it smells like a hippie truly smells like truly when it burns really yeah. It's kind of, like I don't know like a hash kind of feeling. Mmm uh. I'm scared man. Yeah the gold thing- I didn't really research that brain well. It was something else. Sorry said that incorrectly there's something else that that marijuana was more expensive than per ounce. It was oil. Does that make sense
worth more than oil more than more than something that's worth, alot, whatever. Let's go with some other questions here, damn with the? U stream powerful you stream open him smells like flowers and is super addictive from the I get going is doing some super addictive brands are okay or not right. Kat had a hang nail and that's going to start smoking again. They couldn't globalization. I got audited by the IRS. Well, that is your tag. Gotta hang now now now that was my cat. Had a fucked up foot catalog his cattle fucked up fucking. Cigarettes works because out of nowhere, will be like dude. I need a cigarette. I need a cigarette, it's one of those things once you do It opens up a door, that's always going to be open and it's weird cigarettes blue. This guy did you know you, activate your pineal by saying the word love at a certain frequency.
Just like that shut up like the new Mariah Carey Song is, has a high enough pitch to open up your garage doors. No, it doesn't people love stupid. Do people love fucking, magic of magic and nonsense? You know they love to I think that there is like something like that: there's real magic, you, real magic, pound of mushrooms. You wanna see something magic. Instead of having a sixteen ounce steak. Have sixteen ounces of mushrooms motherfucker boom? That's magic. Yeah, you'll, magically be retarded for the rest of your life. You'll, probably be communicating with aliens permanently you'll, probably be locked into another dimension. You know The. Tell Jerry Garcia Smoking Opium wasn't addicted addictive. He moved to smoking black tar heroin after that. Well,
it's for sure these have opium dens back in the wild West. That's a mirror, but I never once that open and then the next day thought about. Oh, my god, I need it. You know it was never like that. Cocaine was kind of like that, but for me, but I hope you never was like that. That was more like a Like a dessert. Well, you know there's! So that's a good good, because this argument was on the message board as well. People were talking about things being addictive and hit the problem with even alcohol being addictive. Is that it's not addictive everybody. You know I'm not addicted to alcohol. I could. I could not have a drink. Good day for the rest of my life and I have no problem with that. But I like have a drink sometimes and go on stage I like to have a drink. Sometimes my buddy just to make things fun just makes you crazy. You pay for it the next day, though essay our age now, man you're older, do you pay for more, but the bottom line is it's not right did do work. I don't hurt when I don't have it for some people it is yeah. Some people have to have a drink there. When I was doing construction, when I was a kid, there was
dude, who had a mountain dew bottle, and he would fill it up with fucking beer July, like cheap beer like COLT forty five and he would drink beer all day. While we worked all day this guy was, he was shaking Jones and dude. He would show up for work, though he was there every and day, seven in the morning swinging that hammer is there kissing every five minutes? I was always hammered, though he was drinking beer all day for that dude, though I think it's like everybody's got their own biochemical makeup, it's like you're addicted to cigarettes, Tom, Segura Tom Segura smoke cigarettes when he drinks but doesn't smoke all the time and he can go years without cigarettes with no problem, but when he drinks he likes to have a cigarette. When was last thing when a year the problem now take a long time off is taking time off a bunch of times and he won't smoke for months and don't have a cigarette they'll have a cigarette when he drinks. I definitely think cigarettes is like that. One thing that, even if you quit smoking, it could be three years later in out of nowhere
Let's start smoking again, no reason why I know you said that as soon as ARI, so I think you know- I think there, once I remember that movie, the insider with Russell Crowe, you see that movie is all not like all the shit that they do to cigarettes to make it even more addictive, like hundreds of different additives, hundreds of different additives just to make it more addictive, and I totally believe that's true totally one hundred percent. Believe that's true, and if that's the case, Man I mean who the fuck knows. I mean they say that cigarettes are more, it's not as dangerous as heroin. His hair will kill you quicker and you can overdose from my put cigarettes will get you hooked quicker than anything yeah, but apparently, if you, if you If that thing inside you that gets you hooked to shit like most, I don't but cigarettes totally different, totally Charlie's
it is the only way. Okay. Well, I almost because I was selling it and getting a large amounts of it for free you were allegedly allegedly selling, not really selling, not really designed just for fitness is like this is like my character that would buy a large amount, so he could give it away, and I have some extra for free was Peter PAN of of no not Peter PAN, Robin Hood of Co. It was like one month of my life back in ninety four. Fictional story in this fictional story, but anyways. But if you were rich okay, but if you will, I was a regional, would you ball or you know, private jet rich just get pure cocaine right over here from the CIA. The CIA would drop it off on your doorstep. Well, I think I might rival package of program. I think the only reason I was kind of addicted to me, because I am one of those people that never go to the doctors and I probably need to be one of those people that are on speed or something I like having a fine I like having a fire word condition. Most of my dates day is spent with
moping around energy and stuff like that, but when pain I felt like I was alive for the first time and I think that's what was addictive more just like I felt like I was out of some kind of coma will sometimes yeah. Well, sometimes I'm having like a normal day like I'm, not really into anything and I'll. Have a cup of coffee and I just get fucking fired up right, great yeah. I feel good about life right click and feels like a warm sun feels better. I clean my office right. You get a little fired up from stimulants. You know that's what they're there for yeah yeah Skokie yeah gonna cocaine's like, but I know you would never stop talking every you talk about this, which I did that you would be talking so fast. Your jaw would fly off and hit somebody in the face. I have this thing called MA, Thida Coca, and it's it's at that's made out of talking myself and now. I'm talking to you, Moteada. Coco is t it's made out of coca leaves, so it's like cocaine the plant that they make
came from, but it's the unprocessed form, which is It's actually like indigenous people, chew that I think it's in Peru. They said it's like really common isn't approved because noise outside smoking cigarettes. They they chew this leave, and so for especially people that up right high altitude, I got a high altitude. Are herding communities they they eat? This update to this tea is tea leaf, but I had a tea form and when I had it was not good. For Maine, I couldn't shut the fuck out me and Doug Stanhope were doing shrooms. It was the day the Iraq war started and we were in the middle of the desert at my friend Jan's house, and it's pretty because we're shrooming and right when the shrooms were kicking in. We noticed on the uh, vision set that they were saying that the war coverage begins at five and Stanhope looked at many goes: there's a fucking kick off for the wall,
or I mean that's really what it was like. They were telling us when the war coverage is going to start Tunein at five hundred or war coverage. It was like a kick off. It was like that's when the program the war program was going to start and that's when this guy YA my friend Jan who's, like he's done more psychedelics than anyone. I've ever met ever he's, definitely probably fried his brains, gotta cool podcast though, but he was talking about hey, take this Mateta Coco. It help the mushrooms kick in quicker. Maybe it did. But I would not shut the fuck up and I telling Doug. While I was doing it was like, I can't shut the fuck up. This is driving me crazy and he was laughing uncontrollably because he thought it was hilarious, that I was talking about how I couldn't shut the fuck up yet aware of it and still it's the worst. But you know what you would you it's one of those drugs that thank God, you never tried, because you would freak out and love it, because it makes your mind open up and just think so. Clear, '
'cause you're just non stop thinking of new stuff. To talk about that. For me, my friend Jimmy said that when we were kids, we had a cousin. That was the problem with it. He told me not to do it. He told you smell so bad dude. That is so nasty cigarettes are they are going to be kept on talking about in a daddy media taste daddy needed it can't go two hours ago. He had a cigarette right when we started to by the way oh shut, your fucking hole. You had your fix, your God, damn fix anyway, cigarettes. Bad, po. Go. You know what, though, what's interesting in California. I don't know if this is in all states that they have changed cigarettes to go out by himself now, so you don't. If you don't hit it long enough, it will just go out because of the fires out here. Really the cigarette companies had to make something in the cigarette. So if you don't hit it after a while, it will go out by itself and just makes me
What is that yeah can't be dropped, probably doing something like that man they've prob? we made it extra addictive along the way. Oh, it's just what we can do that, but uh cause of psychotic episodes to make you fucking mortgage, your house for extra cigarettes might start hoarding cigarettes. They can figure out a way to put something in cigarettes that would make you completely insane and have this insane desire to collect cigarettes. Could you imagine that started happening yeah like lot of black dudes collect sneakers they have you go into their house. I got Yo Mtv, raps or MTV cribs rather go and they have like a whole room filled with sneaker hiding their junk from somebody. There junk was touched or it's it's too big and they think they have a horse. Look at your is he talking about no, no, no they're! Just for whatever reason, they're into collecting shoes, what, if people, started. Collecting cigarettes like
warding cigarettes like Roomfuls of cigarettes and cigarette companies were like? Well, you know we make a fantastic product, we can help. People get excited about it, they're just excited about a product we found out that they had added something to cigarettes that make people want to hoard cig they would totally do it. If some fucking scientists came up with a formula where he You have a certain chemicals. If you put those in cigarettes and people smoking cigarettes, they would have insatiable desire to collect cigarettes and by way more than they need. You don't think they would put that in the cigarettes. Of course they would fuck yeah. They would do it. They don't give a fuck about you. They sell shit that kills you she said they don't it's not like they didn't know. We didn't know cigarettes, kill you holy shit, we're going to stop work, sorry, no cigarettes kill four hundred fucking million people every year and no cigarette companies being thought about slowing down? And now politicians have ever thought about banning. Am you never hear a peep out of politicians? Although
faggots want to talk about fucking banning pot, and you know we've got to stop marijuana and illegal drugs. Meanwhile, cigarettes are killing way more people than everything else combined cancer AIDS, Fucking Heroin, Meth Coke. All that shit pull it all together with alcohol. It can't put a fucking dent, not a scratch into what cigarettes kill every year. If they figure out a way to make you want to hoard cigarettes for sure they would do it and the people hoarding it they would give testimonials. So I don't have a problem with it. I enjoy my cigarette collection. I walked into the garage and I look at almost I like to smell. I get out there and we not massage I'm smoking more. Someone say that today, people kind of do that with you. Why they do that with scribe, but cigars are totally different. They liked, like Saver, that
shared and it makes no difference now. Different cigars have different flavors. Do they taste different taste like shit to me they own all taste like you're, sucking on a fucking. I don't know tree or something I like cigars, I think they taste good yeah. When you have a best steak. Glass of wine, you get a nice cuban cigar with a fucking good taste to it. You know it's just like you take it in together with taste your mouth. It's fun, get you it gives you a buzz crazy, weird that you don't like. So let's them, I don't like. List, because you don't inhale cigars, your mouth, you do get high. No, I think that the science between getting high is that once you hit your mouth, it's immediately yeah. They did a study it showed like people that used to think we supposed to inhale it hold it as long as you can. I guess supposed getting ninety nine percent of the thc immediately when you, when you suck it twitterverse. Is this true 'cause? If this is true, I will stop smoking weed from now on and I'll put it in my mouth put a mile, so take a deep breath.
Blow it out. I was not. The people are doing that. We're like Bill Clio is thought that Bill Clinton did not inhale, but it's was crafty. He didn't know that he knows have science. Is that real science? It is science? Is that real science twitterverse? What the is that? True? Let's keep our googling ride. Love Google, we're gonna, Google right now you do not have to inhale marijuana to get high. I have to inhale marijuana to get high yeah. I thought you had to hold it in for the long thing too, but Wiki answers. What, if you do not inhale marijuana answer: no, it has to go in your lungs to get you high, meaning you have to inhale to get hot. Well, I'm not going to listen this stupid fuck, because this stupid fuck spell hi write two different times and then wrote have in capital letters now
very scientific, faggot next trucks. Here, do you have to inhale when smoking Weed Yahoo answers? Don't do it best answer chosen by at you fucking, the girl says: don't do it, but it You must know you have to keep the smoke in your lungs longer than you normally would a cigarette, so you inhale it and then keep it in there for as long as you can then exhale- that's not true. That's not true! This dunk on two don't do why Alyssa, because you don't want to have fun. Why should he not smoke the pot because he doesn't want to be? only because he doesn't want to be more sensitive because you want. Tune into the universe, more shut, the fuck up, don't do it. We can certainly not smoke pot, because I'm a God Damn comedian and that's like telling a basketball player to not play with bass. I can't find the answer. This shit yeah
I forget. Where I read it, I read it somewhere with you read it the same way I place. I read that gold is the same amount of weed. I know now because I I was on your side, where that's bullshit in my girlfriend who's going to school for nursing she's, like that's, totally untrue, and then she showed me all these studies, I'm like! Oh okay, it was you I have to see a line from the Navy to get high like I would say this guy's rooms. You need to fully it to get high, take a big breath. So these are people like fucking. Eighteen, you to inhale weed in your lungs. Get higher won't do anything. We'd does not cause cancer. Ok, this guys gotta cancer article. When our trunks about cancer, you fuck all right. We have no correct answer, at least in general. We try.
We cannot find. The answer to this Yahoo answers are all written by sixteen year olds or forty year old, retards one another. This guy says he knows everything about cats more in seven seconds. Are these good Yahoo answers yeah? We looked at those Yahoo answer. That doesn't mean shit. It's something about your mouth is filled with, whatever the makes that's, because you don't inhale tobacco smoke. When you smoke a cigar and you get high as fuck. You get really high from cigars. It's the guards, give you like a serious nicotine rush like woo, that's a good one, and if that's, if that happens, why wouldn't that happen with marijuana to you know you don't inhale the cigar smoke you take into your mouth and then you blow it out. You don't take a deep head of it like you do with cigarettes, yeah, that's a that's! A tough google search
Gonna have to just actually find that we don't know. We don't know. Ladies and gentlemen, it was a recent article that was about six months ago. I read it. Some people we'd is not for them. That really is true. You know, like Stanhope, doesn't like Weed Stanhope, eight suite, which doesn't make any sense 'cause. He likes everything else, but I think he probably got too high and you get paranoid because I feel like if you get too high, we will fucking rock your world man shit really the last UFC I was at? I was tripping my ass off. I almost had to run out. I was thinking like ok, I am just going to leave and go to my room and take a nap sounds tripping too hard. From weed. While this is this rivalry says opium trivia, the term are you hip comes from Jim dens. You would lay on your side on your hip and smoke. Hence the term. Are you hip that kind of makes Because if you ever watch like those old west movies or dudes are doing heroin, the rope
The arm lying on their side like what was that movie where Wyatt Earp? Was it wider? One of those movies Buffalo Bill Rider thing was, I don't know, so the Soc Playdom. Well remember what was the movie where a doc holiday, the one was fucking Dennis Quaid played Dennis Quaid played Wyatt, Earp and Val Kilmer played Doc holiday. Is the dopest doc holiday ever or Val Kilmer, just ate everything that that existed, Kilmer's all fat fucked up now he was like go back to top. Go go back to Val Kilmer like the old days killers handsome yeah yeah. They start hanging hanging out with Tom Sizemore. You know this whole wheat thing we could just fucking next time. More sober will just try it
hello Kelly? This guy says red band is right. Here we go. Robberies comes comes clean up here we go. He did not read it to us. Okay, here it is my smoking cannabis, one of the primary health issues of cannabis, the effect of smoke in the lungs while the risk from long cannabis. Smoking are not fully understood is assumed. By before I do this, I will tell I will take this copy. Mouse. Smoking is not as efficient as long smoking and requires approximately three times the material for the same level of effect but for some people efficiency is not an issue. I would say it's not an issue. You know, because we is not that expensive is you know we were talking about how it's worth a lot of money, because, but it's not worth Not that much I mean it's one. Marijuana joint is like what is it like ten dollars or something like that? Probably how much is a joint
join ten dollars. But that's not California, a joint will fast for sure fuck. Out of your mind, even if you're smoke a lot, if you actually inhaled a full joy you would be bullets Creek, California, Weed California weed. So if you take California Weed and you mouth mouth fuck it right, you could probably get by on like two hits. California, weed from a joint and you're gone, and one of the things that you could do also is: if you inhale it and you breathe that out your nose, so you put it in your mouth and you blow it out your nose, but you're not feeling it if even increases it all right. Well, let's post this up what the fuck were reading yeah, but I used to I remember, for there was somebody I used to know that would like smoke. She would only smoke with me, but she would sit, I'm not going to inhale it, but I'll smoke it with you. It makes you feel better and I thought so
You should always get fucked up and I'm going wow she's not stoned, but why is she acting so fucked up? So I look back at it now and she was fucked up. I just put that shit up online, So you get Twitter that have so have we now something learned something these gentlemen? Thanks, you rivalries rivalries. You know a lot about drugs fucker. This is the dude. He runs the whole thing it says here. He owns a pool hall in somewhere in Georgia. Forget where it's from make him make him George, I believe, but it's a pretty famous pool hall this guy owns it lies. They have the dish squad known as a bunch of dudes do squad. You know some some members of my board break off into little separate
acts like little gangs. I don't know what they're doing. If you never been to my message board, I got the craziest message board. I don't know how the fuck it happened. I don't know what caused it, but I've had this nutty message board since, like one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight and right now, there is more than two one slash two million posts on it. I'll put it up online. I started smoking when I was fifteen Ray and anyway this message board. There's so much fucking nutty shit on that board. That's how I met Brian. I met Brian from the message board. It's really got a life of its own. I mean it's got my name attached to it and I pay for it and keep it running, and you know, but there's like a bunch of different dudes who are cool people, that I've met
in real life, most of them that are are the moderators on the board and you know it's anything fucked up in the world. Anything and weird crazy. Any nutty news if you look for a video. Like I heard this is a crazy video out. My board is going to have it for sure right. So that's it's a crazy place. It's pretty nutty based gentleman, and on that note, let's fucking five hundred and thirty six two hours two and slash two hours. We we can't do more two hours of folks get born, but we at the Addison Texas Improv this weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I'm going to take a link right here, mother Fucker and I'm to open this bitch, and I'm going to put that on twitter everybody knows: what's up almost sold out yeah, it is close to sold out, like all the shows. What about Houston Houston people wondering if you're coming
yeah, I'm coming back, we're right now, trying to figure out whether we're doing the improv or whether we're doing the house of blues. There was a problem with the house of Blues initially where they said the house of blues could not seat everybody and I did not want to do a show where people have to stand, and we talked about this before that we went to the Doug Stanhope Show when he was in LA and I love Doug, but I fucking can't stand and just watch a show for an hour and a half. It hurts your feet back. Certain metrics cramped up, and then I realize, like this is uncomfortable like sitting in watching a show is awesome, but standing watch the show sucks. It gets annoying Take me of the House of Blues yeah constant last week, and I had a horrible experience with those fuckers with outside blues which one, though they wanted and say what happened when you go through. They stamp your hands, quick, quit wristbands on the check, your id's. They scan the tickets right. So we went there and it was general emission. We found a place that we wanted to sit and stay lean up against. The wall was perfect, for the concert have
through the opening act or whatever opening band security grab. My girlfriend coming out of the bathroom where's your hand stamp. She goes up, I don't know. Maybe it was Stop. I have a span, here's my ticket. He goes your hands, not stamped you're out here she said. Well, I have my tea, it right here and goes I don't care have a hand stamp my boyfriend's right there he goes go, get him and he's kicked out to like it was like was like okay, that's just la douche bag, but then the manager got involved think there's nothing to do with Houston tech. This or don't have in the House of Commons is a company. It's just dickheads he's like sorry corporate policy you're supposed to get hand stamped on like it doesn't match in here. I have tickets with the fucking with measures. I'm sorry, but let's go downstairs, get your hand stamp. Let's figure this. Together. I'm like this. The concerts on right now the biggest like it corporate bullshit. You know that shouldn't happen at fucking improv. You don't think so.
Have your come on. So you think that So what happened then you think, would not happen. So you think that if we have a show at the house of blues people like it, my problem with the house of blues it's a corporate thing. Not being a great fucking time at all the house of Blues yeah. Well, you have any time when you're in front of a good crowd of people right yeah, but that's one of the few venues where you guarantee that everything's gonna run smoothly. You know they get rid of douche bags in the audience, doesn't record your own site. That is true. Now that fans aren't allowed to bring cameras into the place or they have to leave him at the Box office, well, the problem with that. Is these mother fuckers wanna stick cameras in your face, while you're on stage and constantly record things and put them on Youtube. We're going to do that very, very disturbing. To do that, regardless is annoying for them and for the bands and for different people feel like they don't want their stuff pirated they're, just protecting the artist that makes sense to Maine. I agree
you had a bad experience, but I think he had isolated douche bags. I mean people that run the house of blues in Vegas or fucking awesome. Those people are super cool, that's the one, to the most yeah house of blues in San Diego that we also do it doesn't performance inside not a customer. I've never heard any complaints, though, if you guys have had complaints about the house of blues, let him now you know I need to. I need to hear that shit. Maybe Dan Aykroyd's house of Blues in Connecticut at the Mohegan Sun Deal, fell through gigantic fail. Why did I read that you fucking Motherfucker House of Blues charges, a butt load, That is true: they have a lot of built in costs. It costs. I get paid the same amount to do a three hundred seat room in Vegas, as I do to do the house of blues, which is like nine hundred seats, which is pretty crazy, yeah, that's kind of fucked up because they have all these built in.
They have built in costs built in pockets, oh shit, built in pool yeah in their prices. That's another thing: prices were ridiculous, like a bud light with six dollars or something like that Where is it? What is it most bars, but, like you usually, I mean outside of LOS Angeles. Usually it's like three bucks two dollars for bud light outside of Lausanne yeah and also in LOS Angeles, under five dollars, at least ok. Someone just fucking, bitch slap rivalries, Bbj Jones says that shit. We said about hip the ob He says the actual is two in the the the the the answer of. Are you happy being opium dens lying on? He says it's not true. It's not true. It says to ingenious too convoluted and too silly
key forty four that's wiki. This is just his opinion is often a great deal of uncertainty in tracking word ordinance, since we have written worked board record to go on. Phrase may have been in common use long before anybody wrote it down. After all, one doesn't use slang phrases in most writing such as newspaper a certain columnist accepted. They should use slang and everything so talk. While we pretended not talk the way we talk, I was stopped at like writing professionally like when I write in my blog, I read exactly the way I talked like is like I wrote, will open letter to Kelloggs, which, more or less I did as a writing exercise. I was writing every day. For a month the month my spike tv special was, I wrote so I wrote down, I wrote my material out everyday, not wrote material wrote new blogs every day and I just need to write about in one of Was this Kellogg's banning Michael Phelps? He smoked weed and because I wrote this open letter and I wrote it the way I talked with swears and just the way I normally talk. People
yeah they're gonna, read that open letter like I didn't want to read it stupid. I'm just writing, doesn't read it or you don't read it, but I'm not, write, something I think we'd have more impact, just like they're, going to listen, listen to a fucking pot comedian, slash cage, fighting commentator like Kellogg'S Gonna make their decisions based on that. No it's for you guys it's for humor, it's for entertainment. Does the word hip really help heal from a west african language. It could be either or though this this I mean it could be that that the the regional hip that rivalries talked about is right. I mean this. I mean if, if there's no real, if the origins of it are or are murky, it could be, it could be bolts, there's just not say anything to discredit that anyway, it gives a fuck red band is totally right about the cigars. Oh, is you really tooele right? I am
alright. No, no! It's a fucking taste thing. I think cigarettes are disgusting and you're, sucking on every day, they're, discussing if you smoked him for you totally totally right about that right. If I was a junkie, I wouldn't think they're disgusting this guy shitty experience at the Anaheim House of Blues same deal as red band, except they had to make me re stamp my hand and I lost. Stool, exactly as it happened to me, I lost my stool. What kind of fight with bunch of Persians I felt bad. His brain felt maddening. Seven by me. You got back to Q all night next thing. I know I was like six sorry, Sis bro. It has never called me. They're called Persian Iranians yeah, but they don't want to be called a rain. Is that it assures and yeah I'm sure they don't want to be confused with green Irania. Here radio talk about fights at one hundred and ten. It was fuck
the awesome came Velasquez that guys a legend he's going to go down in history. This is like one of the greatest hour. I think that that was just some stellar shit came. Alaska is going to be him against Brock. I'm saying I want to see him against fate or really I would love seeking valasquez against Velasquez Door Fate or I think every time came fight to get better. You know the heavyweight division is a mother right now. Shane Carwin versus Frank, Nearest Brock, Lesnar's going to fight the winner, and you know who knows what the fuck is ever gonna happen to fate or fate over ever get to the UFC, the fucking universe might collapse, it might be insane. Alright least, we've had a long ass show at five hundred and forty four. So that means even with our down time. We did like an hour and twenty minutes at least maybe an hour and a half love ya, thanks
learn in Addison Texas. This weekend next week, where we next week, uh oh Canada, I'm in Canada next week, Shazam Bitches, I'm in Toronto and a couple other places fuck around, but we'll talk about that shit next week. Thank you very much for tuning in I love you bitches and that's it alright. I gotta find out in this. It would have been cooler if I figured out a way to say. Thank you. I love you.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.