« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #95 - Bert Kreischer, Brian Redban

2011-04-05 | 🔗
Date: 04-05-2011 The uncensored podcast of Joe Rogan. With Bert Kreischer and Brian Redban.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
play some jamming the joe rogan experience podcast brought to you by the flashlight if you go to joerogan dot net click on the link that says flashlight entering the code name brogan you get fifteen percent off all right and with that said buckle up bitches
morgan experience guy voice makes very comfortable which does not really a black eye voice it's a white guy talking like a black eye which has never call with his ignite even right it is actually a robot that's been programme to be a black eye holds a robot that's why made by white people do a black voice i liked cure nightly better tyrannise was that was so hot there's something about someone's a black eye fake a white voice is really completely acceptable best black voice
of dew was it does it weird you out there when you can call somebody on the phone you know their black when you talk like how would i described this to an alien how would i describe the black guy just love brought some of my birth chrysler lindsey gentlemen follow bird on twitter for young are today k are ye i s sake h e are also known as birth to conquer on the travel channel which just started right last week was our first observers weak powerful and it was raining success rate ratings and gregg social media success social media success was the brandy thing they track on trend tv or tb trainers and my agent send it to me conquered and those like i did
like your number nine right behind the carnatic ends well represented a fuckin but it's just me it's me i literally here's my theory about promotion on twitter but i think you have to promote the joke and that's my rule if you obsessive lee like like like i told you go there we have just taken twitter to a brand new thank you brian job hasn't seen any of it adds that bullet that's what you saw it coming up our rakkeed go the bombing in here like it is legitimate ralphie maize apply guarantee retweeted last two minutes ago anti i just adam in an already he's been kevin smithing me people who know no around the underscore me i don't know if it's him in the bigger and jacket ralphie underscore may its vote jesus christ is good on twitter for how long legged week literally literally a week maybe we can have an end and he had like fifteen tweets are like twenty tweets me i asked until then and i'm sure there's a thousand now
it shows how many swedes years because for some reason my my computer has gone back to the old twitter you know i was using the new twitter now that the new twitter science i don't know how to which it is in that very top more does it is probably underscore may ralphie underscore met here i'll just go to my train yeah i'll find them right away what would happen if he's got a total of what that can't be right he just started using and one thousand eighty two to eat a woman you heard a couple weeks that's that's through yeah that's true got some kind of the seas around you had fence and refuse the feds he's not promoting anything he simply arguing he hasn't not argue with people yet so he's just go back to the new really of the learned you have to learn that shit i just i never replied anyone at all and i promote i only promote the jokes of eminent promote the show i do
that's funny to promote it i am i think those get retweeted i try to be as an item on motorways funny if i find some interesting shit i just throw up some interesting shit anything anything that i think is fastening whether it's funny or not and if i have to promote self denying promotes onto by i always try to treat it as if i always am aware people's attention span and anything interesting that i find i give to twitter i immediately give her about your first you're different animal did say myself o brien who if we promote the people just delete us another julia one is the right they don't want to see our shared and they will have a new balance of london right where there were the guy that you fingering asshole everyone came to falk where the guys this pit pow even grocer i want this one guy twitter out our matches names and going to like em but its it was all promoting some special that's coming out and it was like him tweeting so bodies will using them
axing worrying just having a different celebrities name hey blank hey you know forever our dashing how much a boy my specials coming out barber and it was whole twitter is is he an official twitter legged verified a camera is very well that many that somebody i wonder if that's even almost like an assistant that's like now your spicy could be it could be that or could be just someone who's doesn't know how to use social media and is an annoying cunt what's his name rang with we'll talk later i tweeted the game on sunday leah our
for my show started the game the wrapper yos i go the game you know i haven't barbecue my house bring over some potato salad economics does like if he does reply you gotta problems all my shit son here's what you look ok ready this is the my favorite thing to do i used to go on to black centric ten trend topics ok black centuries hydrogen whenever that transport is it's gonna something there's only one that reads black like like gum like mine was veto guess for the hood valentine stages for the hood and so i thought it would be funny if in the end you know it's all i very likely be racist about black and white i'm ready like come get her a click clock you know she needs a gun in the hood get or another baby you know she's already got ten yells about child support son in southern i'd i wrote back i wrote back anything dungeons and dragons sun and no one got it right
no it ellen laughed at all and they started get madly will you do me a man get out white boy and it also community just they said get out went out why would you this is for the hood don't you read the trend of it well all right how bout a classy pen lastly pan with better in the nose like alright alright alright we're more tests have abolished but you spread over like a hoe in their like that's more like it what does danziger i got tons a girl on them and secure started i and i started doing them and it was like i forget the wondering how i know it saved my phone bring us a girl on them and i was just as accelerating raises right very good suggestions that you would think that one was things by people scared of
and then and this is the citizen trending topics how do you started trending topics if you wanted a topic as pound sign and then one word of it would be ironic whatever it is one word all in one word rank right now like what our black people scared of would be no spaces are wanting wearily she has been when the right winning willingly haggard blood and the trend topics right now is what's dead in two thousand eleven why why can't you just so legacy of yours like ok just pick your baby girl when you say to pick up this once asked little twist he knows as well as your fans sure i'm not i don't think he's a scientist
doesnt teach might lead us getting lives google little twist areas is it had at once ass a child wrapper whenever some like this happens i get i do really feel so out of it man when i hear about this child born in ninety three jesus christ he was born when i was a dizzying for news radio graduates when he shut out of his mouth box ninety three while still college his name christopher elmore born january eleven ninety ninety three better known as stage name little twist ha he's an american wrapper and american wrapper from dallas he signed too little wanes label that's wise lil little where's lil wayne i don't know he's a little wrapper last and little way under six feet is whether five lithuania is a fascinating cultural icon to me i why watches music and i am completely perplexed
a language i just do not speak it doesn't whatever it is it just doesn't get me and i understand horrible day are fucking he is huge man he is she couldn't be bigger he's what the easy the biggest rap wherever one of honesty is the biggest wrapper here's the most commercially successful wrapper right now i think probably ever i feel i should give another chance i filling in some reason why i'm here that here comes the black in me out was really are stuff is much better than his later what use of a hot boys he was amazing i remember him in juvenile them juvenile and like that all the matters norland and his earlier stuff use good man he had rhymes blow you away so now everyone just go and little twist asked no twist trend topic and asked very insightful questions that you know little twist and have the answer for active not gold tragedy racist hokosa the greatest is just to be like seriously you think there's no life forms out no universal west and like just see what
with this answer you really is an answer for there was little to lisbon reopen the internet he might be smartest fuck the thing kids today man you can never underestimate them it's not like do not have the same access to information that we do when we were kids retorted because nobody told a shit we're figure things like little monkeys is wanderer neighborhoods but now there's no more neighborhoods man is that the whole world man does so but rumours that you heard about dude i heard that right stewart how to get his stomach pomp and there was a gallon of speech sperm and if like those those stupid fucking stories oh we will move like lingered and worked because we didn't have anything else you know it would never have scared like did richard which by the way i heard was this is my room that was scientology spreading that rumoured to fuck with him really does he left scientology yeah that's right out it may not shut up what's its goods
so now here's not i'll tell you the so this trend topic i started was and this is what this brings us back to our conversation yesterday i started doing a trend topic what would a maid think when she sees this that was the trend topic okay so then i started leaving a hotel room in a manner so that the maid walked in what the fuck happened and now you're on your twitter i know i'm just gonna tweet these joe and i'm telling you france might be my opus o guys might be the this formula that any of ok i definitely think that among the home age with only two weeks we too are tweeting the first and there i add signed you so this is the end its going chronologically i've gotten much better as you'll see my later work let my little wanes did you say your early inspired shit was really good i just started getting to the next level like adam richmond
durham too and then he started challenge in me on twitter and then people were like do you guys are fuck it and then i started like really taken out of the box and i got into this jackson pollock hype like tweet they shed sovereignty we had all of it where the fuck is it is coming up right now so i got into this manic state but when i was in new york to impress us trying to come out of them to promote the show and i was getting some good once man like really fuckin impressive i mean like good shit i guarantee you there's artists on twitter they go you got rate conceptual boundaries or would have rights and willing to i'm tellin you joe is an artist cite the twitter they can teach you how to tweet up a fuckin twit ago it's coming up right now sending tweet there cell phone service cricket one there is a second one and a third one should become an up to oh my god so here we go let them think when she sees this ok blind clicking completely blind ok i click this he's got the bed made up look like a nun
this is my early work jesus wait till you go through see how you got a red to eat it i'll retreated to the beds fucking beautiful others a bunch of helen you right i've got more than i could post right now i just want to know is this how you we should only self on the road like it never do with that though this fridge rayner where literary man claudia torso closed that's larry this is my i'm tellin you mean meanwhile the real sandbars and means probably going to see it's gonna be the next guest that's right i made it clear that lays bitch she's tired attack that is our time and only the third one doesn't work from the third linked doesn't work i wouldn't go now go to that go to the latest recently
davy dialogue paper anything like it he made a vulgar doll does area you got three hour solely the reality is that fuckin hotel room just whacked out with apollo why these areas just i retrieve the first on the moon decide on this hotel in portland we're just in eyes they didn't holcomb thing and i dont get john i dont really didn't i dont really normally do it as much as i say i am not saying i have but this time i decided to do it because i was in bed and i was like look i don't want to wipe it on the bed and when i get out so i threw it like kind of up behind me and it went straight down on mice iphone i hope it gave your iphone karma o b dies do you think my iphone starts getting a cough we're we're talking about bird crushes solaris pictures you talk about shoot your own lower than that of all the taos now we're talking about some one very specific thing this guy's doing it's very hilarious thy love the bertha kircher once
am i oversight of the premiums ran dazzling essentially i just tweeted all these folks and issue listening to us on a podcast go back to the data we recorded this which is april fifth on tuesday three thirty p m pacific times if you want a final tweets gets to get lost in the mix hilarious yeah there very fun i feel like and then i started to have run never down do a radio and he was in pittsburgh have runs like i love those pictures like why don't you do them he was like you know what i thought of it but i want to steal it like animals do it inferior stolen you'll have run and this is to anyone listening i don't give a shit do it but you gotta tweet it to me we see it right i want to copy your ship re read so this is the line we it's what would the mate what what is the the hashtag other has tied and put the hashtag in there but what were they may think when she sees this in its war or one well onward what would the maid think when she sees this and just treat its birth and let's was working it is one of great the the guys is jumping out the window i did not want to canada last may
they all happen at the last minute that's all areas so what's it like this when fangs legged suited divers that's the one atom respite like just like you cheated i know what you mean i cheated he goes you you're fucking bigger shit in the room i go no i i used the shit and ruthless towels napkins and catch up and use like what the fuck deed is owned him that's why is upset you can't be compete with this outcome at the game if you are playing this game i been discussed at play this game way seriously than i am brain we need to have you need have a party website that has a collection of these guys that if that becomes big which i it seems like it would be used to be the centre home base of ass they should go home and amelia i did it i was able to get hold of it like they're like without it we want to use it to promote the show window cashing contest we're gonna do what it says on them and then they called one thousand mexico in their like and i wasn't sleeping in their like these we need seven more do i said and what the fuck do you think i'm a monmouth
and come up with seven and there like just do it just do it and i was like a couldn't and sit in mexico for no tv listening to the euro campaign cast on experience on my ipod in bed with mean next to me because i couldn't i was i was happening zairian spock women out and it's like is the best i put on low swiftly like friends or talk the next room put me to sleep i just sit there and i just haven't you wake up and you hear talk doll dog jelly finally talks more people complain about joey and his volume control colleagues are genuinely backward this isn't the problem is we got a fucking probably right good god zadok get right up there jesus christ he somewhat i feel like a really miss i don't even think i wanna meet him like i just because i want to just have him be the person
he is now he is joey you don't have to worry about money home it's even better me you meet him and you love em he sees the most unique human being ever met when he tells a story about his mom i don't like is historically tells a story and its ease the best war the best nor could he leaves out the parts that make you stop and wonder and then right when you're wondering he hit you what the fuck would you tell you the story about like the complaint was this one guy thinks i guess he was put your lesbians in the story but their attitude go shake your hand joey shake your hand i think it would be something of a tv show like i wonder how this guy has a tv shows what is most interesting guys i've ever pocket money so crazy that's why merrily pissed off we were on the way the gig right and they were in the lobby and the show starts in my gown twenty minutes for fifteen minutes where the fuck it is and was so am i had it does this dog been waitin for you down here for half an hour dog only me agony like this are you don't worry
i shall start to get their dog you know me dog i get gently me i don't like this dog and he wouldn't drop they get crazy exactly like that like that times five more levels like dogs where is back bow legged them ligny lead and we need it down and wait for you dog mikuli talking about joey nottingham meanwhile i'm trying guess whether i should tell him that i had to take a media shit look a little longer than i thought i was gonna take it's not like i don't to be on time for my own fucking show we're here no one's dying it will be there in five minutes will forever of known of royal eleven twelve years now maybe even thirteen i met a medicine yeah thirteen years fuck that's crazy he was drawing a picture in the green room while joe was talking to some friends and a good brag record this unlike what am i go guys i sorry warning him just drawing something and he pulls up there says brine
taylor vixen whose my axe unlike what the fuck is he pulls out his balls and puts the buzz balls behind it and i'm just like jesus christ man it's like joey days is balls in the air small is deadly i bet his balls are massive massive is when you took where should go get around about but what really did he made a funny video two brains extras brian and made a couple of other funny videos he just is torture that's all bring our joe ideas is torturing me then you sirmium well i'm sending a mere funny that authority i think it's funny night like torture is not tolerable i'm not seeing torture like you're hurting her torture also means fun you know a guy can towards runner does necessarily mean to hurt you she has an artist s feet note that right
shut the fuck up please i was this anyway fuckin bill very argument either way which continued billboards projects and now apparently under gregg fitzsimons is poverty which is even more ridiculous i always did so disappointing to bill when i heard him talking on his own podcast about it on my while and then is that the worst part about egos that's what i say i one guy taught my lawyer my lawyer and so i came back i won smells like jesus christ so many go find build and gave him a fuckin hug the guy's so ironic diplomas talking about people smoke we'd if anybody needs we condemn isabel far yeager summers hands had similar varies as ever i was assume that everyone embossers like you have very similar yeah it's a that's a hard place that's why comedy there
it's such a good place to grow up and start to come because you learn very early on to appreciate people's attention span gazebo fucking do you have to stage with the quickness and we did it we did i show what was the comedy connection comic lecture anyone
i have yet jamieson tour was me billiard l s teeth burden danube evans i thank you and we had to do they show to get renewed land do the show to get the tour renewed tool and the door was a decoder money for us rat was i got fought for granted a weekend angola who was twenty minutes while and billiard balls like billy evidences oppression talk about out of school about billy billy it just court quit drinking any sober now but had just good drinking like that thursday and was like i'll never get touching it again and we ve gotta go and he spoke in freaking out music you gotta closure and i can follow like three guys and are all fuckin bang bang bang in boston and i'm nervous about doing while embossings i gotta do race i used to do allow re stuff then and i was like fuck and i just came out the gates laws like i just i just gave it everything i had just pan ban bam bam and then like fifty minutes anaemic backing to keep us energy goin than we fucking good set and we get the torrent
but of course just fucking dumpling some black eyed infrared whole time he loved that he was with a white checks yet red hair is sound we urgently girls i can but that was what was my own experience of boston blossoms of fun place funding to better gets too cold never live there again sorry lovey ass night i couldn't live their great place we're calmly them when you will you live in a place words that fuckin harsh you know that kind of an environment and now means policing carlos coelho violators that argument cossacks you're gonna start no there's some of them do i have met some kind of started here holtzman started in the different i know i know guys have started here that are really good it some meaning start anywhere man i started new york i didn't want to tell
i see and a move right in europe did in new york and got my lunch money taken really fucking wick and yeah just either my first time everyone stage this guy louis schaefer was like i said i want to be a comic soil and am idealism it's a long story my dad gave me one of those phone calls you don't ever want to have from apparent where he called me one morning on my birthday i'm expecting a birthday phone call and he calls me like you're pathetic you make me sick too much well i'm embarrassed of you you said you were going to be a comment you got rolling stone article about you and you said you're going to move and be a comic even there eight months and you haven't done shit and i lie i would i lie about you like judges say i was just wondering and i like you that makes me feel like it's my first hung over all my my underwear on my counsel i grew up on in new york habit up there and my dad's dislike and recycle he's our failure is apparent failed you you have no humility automotive do keep doing what you do i guess
fucking job and who have no humility i hadn't had no humility at the time but my way i just didn't i didn't have the like i was like i wanna be a comment but i dont know how to go about getting accept fella goes too good to work the door or to doesn't make any sense when i say that i felt goes to i was too good just get into the ground level i want discovered i wanted to be is what will soon what brought down on i don't know it s just i think people are hubris just youth having a lot of people that how old we twenty six and also and i was too young to like the open i've seen was all alternative comedy and like dmitri more i started around the same time it dmitri just got welcomed by them and i hold out and no one ever talk to me and i was like fucking great so that i just hung out calmly clubs drink in the back of comedy clubs you when i've always found ironic about alternative comedy is it a lot of alternative comics were like outcasts and that you know they felt like you know they were kind of
you know nerd jonah whatever you and meanwhile there like the least welcoming the most we then the weirdest like back stabbing ash caddy is its view strange that you would think that the people were picked on would be like really open warm and friendly and they were there were brutal i would go to the name of the fucking surf reality and collective unconscious and hang out trying to do sets and no one would speak to me no one would speak to me and i would just be sitting there dmitri talked me and then he literally would come and talk to me and then walk away and talked all them and then come back not to me and i was just a thought but i never felt like an ultra that you though is it at all i would try on people and i said that make fun of me like i'm a renewed make fun of first anything out of my mouth they just go get hooker and this is the comics since the comics yeah yeah because they wanted
you to feel uncomfortable you wanted me to feel honourable my eyes now weird i was the worst and then i'm and then i gotta go to so common now oh oh go go there generalizing and i want to do that but go hang out at fuckin i'm trying to think of you seem to be used to be and see how like i know tom said he when did never comic book i did a set there once and i had a great time only did it once and i remember somebody point me to thread somewhere where the people so they actually enjoy to show what they were like what the fuck's joe revenue in here that's stupid that not weary but you know it is but it isn't i mean they're they're expecting a certain particular type a calmer that maybe makes us feel good when your company is the same that's what really upset not upsets me alchemy shit personally i'm not looking begets spots at a comic book store but i did a comic books scourges did one any sittings great i did it duncan it was awesome duncan but tomkins duncan is kind of welcomed
but who is in so i had no humility that's where you get what he gets too and we just sit back comedy clubs i think was over this how does this translate this is where am confused that company clubs i think we're so but this how does this translate this is where i'm confused a use you say you have no humility of time you thought you were to go but yet here you are in these alternative rooms never was treating me like shit do you think they're connected bob sugar were i'm sure that my perception of what the status quo calmly clubs is perceived from way i've been treated but i gotta go to like the boss in coming to cover the seller and i'd say hi to tell and norton right there are cool but they will we know there are also working comics and i was that's what i wanted to be and i think my dad will my dad's note was was my dad's gonna guy that if he wanted something he would get it and he go
i didn't say this is what i want can you please help me get this and i would not that guy just hang out the back of the club and go you know in their defense and any buns defense when it comes to hanging out with new people man i try to be as friendly and is open with everybody that i can do cuz i love talking to but man there's a certain point in time sometimes in the middle of a conversation when you realize oh i'm stuck talking to this guy you know that that's annoying man when you have a good group and a good vibe you know so maybe you came off i too loud or i didn't say a word ring i was a man of your stage i wonder acts from this poor they judging you found me never gonna stay suavity judging from i was nice i liked me but i like i'd let thy the author people didn't believe you must have said a word because you said they were mocking you for saying anything of the sort of complex guide go up and i did not understand up you did once they serve reality and collective unconsciously you papery box and go up at the end of the night right like that that was how that those rooms work that way
well then you can understand why didn't wanna talk to you i cursed over this talks with radioactive that's me which is i have to break it on everything that they weren't funny either it's alright what was of course right they would laugh at whatever they said because they had said it it also was a certain sensibility to write down at my shit was i try was trying to be funny in any comedy club norway boy trying to be funny in any kind of ecology trying to be funny i did know what i did know there's a difference in alternative there isn't i do know what we were talking about that before about this guy that there are saying is the founder of alternative comedy we both agree that he's on you now turn of comic yes to comic and what does that even mean you know who i think was the the founder of alternative comedy as far as i know if it all came out a boston supposedly automatic catch a rising star who is david cross cross was doing like really weird shit and i was martin i will see martin is an icon it means do martens a different thing he's not what david cross did we here
thanks you don't want to give an example he put on a stretching tape for like a warm up exercise tape and then he said stretching and talking on stage about a stretch and it was i don't know why but it was silly it was there was something funny about it was completely ridiculous that he was taking this chance to go on stage but like to be more laughing but everybody s smile face like what the fuck is he doing it was fun steve more was a comic he's just silly dvd often did a lot of alternative stuff on stage alternative stuff like what like he would do banjo stuff you would do let's up evangelism alternative thereby alternative that he halted the idea of alternative is like hipster its nerdy for smart you know that's what alternative commonly supposed to be like not to not to physical ce mark is the antithesis of that is the absolute opposite of what you would consider alternative comedy i can't put my finger on alternative company per se
whether it is or is it but i can put my finger on what alternative comics dislike like i go on the road go sour this guy would not the like will you see on the road with their act is decide unbearable and you're like holy shit will then i think what they think as that is the comedy but that goes on not new c b that has accompanied it's everywhere and that is i don't think about it and go on the road and see what you do on the road or see what the roads ike eventually the road becomes the same everywhere and i tell you that my crowds are there times more enthusiastic indifferent towns but they're all the same now it's everybody's there there are they all know what i'm doing so it's it's not an issue anymore but when you're young and no one knows who you are and you go on stage if you're you used to do in the you see being getting those really polite laughs and chuckled after the rumour some witty in a reference that you made in out to some fuckin do novel
now you know i'm saying something the spice and everyone the easy bethinks is so funny do that shit and tallow has florida they'll throw bottles that you motherfucker you know there's a problem with you no one no one knows who you are a man that's what it's really tough when you're not bring it in your own crowd you get really soft easily if you're a name and you know you have a bunch we will come to see you all the time and the other give you so much love and they i want you to succeed they want to laugh they're not like didn't have any arms staring at you sideways good colonies good comedy i mean like panels what makes me laugh i'll give a fuck what everyone says he makes me giggle you know like items one of my favorites for some hours almost age he was i gotta he's really big an ill turco museum and i was like a really and then you just murdered and it wasn't alternative just funny yeah what he said he was big in the alternative comedy scene because he's a comic book nerd and he loved science fiction and you know he fits in physically you know so they will accept him but he's a great writer that's what he
whose has more of you ass he spoke is really i got it yeah i haven't ready i but i backed up and adam was but everyone in perspective now to get to want to break it full circle if this is possibly at all possible so that issue i was in new york in nineteen eighty seven trying to fit in trying to break my way in the comedy ran through having beers with comics and not fitting in turn it is not being having the gumption or the gregariousness to break in and so you were you doing sets i was i was out of a note of what i was doing as working out of parts a novel see a working at barnes unknown world no working out spat like you that's a born to know most working apart nobleman working out during the day in the basement may have fucking that i got fired from bars and others of the worst of working towards noble astor place no fuckin ac that's every day i would even have a job we left boxes and as you do you like this are bad but a good bye workout
go ahead and do a little bit of this and if i do this all day long fucking jack buys by the summer so i go down to the basement and you could take the frayed elevator selling a psycho into five minutes you take afraid of elevator the basement and no one could get down there you had the elevator it's one thing to the basement i took off my clothes and start working out just like do pushups it ups the falcon curls with boxes for books out into fuckin these fucking jobs front rose and i work out and then it was there's no i so that i'd wait wait like all down paloma close back on get afraid elevator walk up and i just killing thirty minutes when you public that to kill thirty minutes is a it's like fuckin combat which closer being over that right right so unlike this is an empty ripley ultra peripheral pop in fucking
biofuels every three hours right all my grandma twitter runnin around sheldon travel books go none of the basement pounded like i'm a fucking eyes did come up swinton mother fucker with a name tag oranges and select to eat into my boss dwayne pulls me aside music is at him and even spend a lot of time in the basement like i'm going to travel books that's what we keep model there is like yeah you know we have video cameras also i didn't know that he's a fucking fired and i was like i think i did when i can explain you know i can't i can't i'm someone getting into them underwear basement working out do when they should be working and coming back up and then interacting with people and i was trying to be a complex was trying to think alternatively anyone speed which is so theoretically like outdo shit crazy if you didn't know me exactly so guides
the other day we're doing a promotion phrase tv and i didn't jump into the day i was that funding goes back everything you do only funny if you spent fucking twenty four hours with you and so yes i got fired and then came up i regret to have that tape if and when it burns level oh god that's how they re dwayne embryos may also be a manager like a week before that and i was like no news like one of those who use it you don't we manage earls acknowledge his acquire you why do you work out what what do you want to do them economic medium and ass i got this isn't what i do and he looked at me down the facing as this is what you do this you are you worked barnes ennobled dont think you'd better than us you not while i'm at a here soon added nausea you're fired but don't think you're better than us there was a there's a guy that i when i was driving limousines and had the same attitude he would get pissed me if i wanted to home after working eight hours because i'm gonna man i got i gotta go i gotta get to do and it was like
eight hours is nothing around here you know about a lot of the guys doing one thousand two hundred and fifteen hour shifts like okay good good for them by and they leave and you know and he's like to know what makes you think the job going to be in the morning at work eight hours i got to go i got to get goes where you get so i told him where the game was once again it was while those things were absolutely no little hundred dollar gave us only tat the booking agents in i called but he said hey would you rather do this one in connecticut its pays one fifty i'm sorry i s one so switched me in move me to this other place some asshole calls the first pillar and i'm not there it was yeah call that fucking job you in there oh you're a liar unlike whom it gets switched you fucking creepy stalker prick like i eight hours but his whole attitude was that he wanted to keep me a driver like he sent me help me they want escaping i can feel it a lot of times i mean i think that i think that goes with everything even
yeah sure people are haters man lotta people it's either way easier for them of europe's failure ways for them of you not ambitious if you're not like when you guy any this poor fuck with like you know he's in a slight late thirties and smoke cigarettes and look like a broken dream he had nothing going on in our and here it a day bad guy for a limousine thing in boston we deal with a bunch of fuckin savages everyday and you know he see someone who's twenty one and just has all these crazy ideas in their head and i'm going to do that so i'm going to be a comedian and you'd like to see all this gee behind this personal history just once squash that one why are on that fire in this our people and the last thing we want to see as someone with with with some sort of a spark inside of them now there's a lot of people man that's terrifying to them they just don't want didn't want to see that man they don't see it they don't want you to fuck up than what you feel so that i have to compare their compare themselves to unfavourably and then start thinking about what a fuckin
disaster there live has been that was everywhere that work towards a noble everyone's ashore and work towards animals broken there's one gig i who had come from our just come out of the closet like moved to new york and then i think he knew his gait all time they got to newcomers ike i'm fucking gay i'm ever coming into workload days like i'm gay mozart awesome these i know i'm i can say it now i'm gay i then i'm so happy and i was like and so he had a whole down for the longest have thought so much that first month guy he got fucked out of his lawful night let me make a black eye fell on a lot as regards fuckin empowerment amount of the law on this guy for non stop that first that's that's so great yes oh he was he was in the last seven years sexually like like to realize your straight and then every one of the strait muniz like let's just fuck that shit out of this the other one happens and engage in community striking it doesn't work that way really use which in teams
it's like you used to play with the red sox now europe over the yankees which other what about the red sox sucks glad to you got so that ok now full circle so then i worked upon floors one or two points nobody i not accompany clubs and so my dad after that at the end of that conversation i was i dunno dylan embarrass you know what i want to move to do with my twenty six per day when he set em you go to the club and you tell him you will be a com if you do anything it takes me a comment made it out this works need us that's humility that's humility you walk into the front door you talk to the guy who runs clemency you'll do anything your mouth obvious deck chairs your foot burgers you'll clean dishes are they gonna gotta clean this is your task of fucking talking about having i am going to do that so i went into the sky louis schaefer kimura yeah the comic strip that's the dilution lucian old louis schaefer was a gang had worked out in the village you always were a blaze
white shirt yeah what do i mean what girl gay not gay what club was boffin comical ok so i wanted to louis and i was gonna be economic and those like there's an item albertini goes can eighty some advice us again just go back to temper and learn it there and then go back to new york during the bigley try now and as i that's a voting on apartment assign a work and is like that's my vices my comrade nose like owner he said to move back the tampa my leg is perfect going tonight and give the same speech again last night say you can do this until he fucking folds and gives you a job it sounds like art so one in that night like seventy dissenting louisen louis said god i didn't i tell him about the tampa and i was like i go while not gonna do that i'm in a key pounding you any said okay if you can stand out front and bring in twenty people throughout the night and then if there are still people in the room after godfrey goes on all go up on stage in salzburg okay so that night to the fuckin
red heat limb forking linda grown impact karen burglary is on stage and for port wreaking guys who i brought him off the street who are like one gives one a prison the next day or sit i want anyone i brought a guy with ice cream its groceries and i brought him in a broad every one in the club there sit in the front row and they make karen burgling cry and louis they know the currants crime and so louis goes you wanna be a comic mouser chance so we went up grab caring programming as our i usually for next comic and brought me or state and the only thing if anything that i could do was light up for border regions and i am and i destroy these guys one by one by one and when they talk i would be like this my act the dump would weaken rejects appointee and he'd anybody got in the council and how many people in the crowd besides then i browse filling the fuck it was everyone that newbie i brought it what it was like fucking a hundred maybe a hundred people on a thursday night and so they get up and they leave that place goes knots and my first almost age in europe
like ha ha make are like a real stage you know random like yes i'm a fucking and then i explicitly jochen enemy jokes sick fuck a bond got off stage and lucid like you get a job and i was like what he goes come here benighted seven unlocked the place said the tears up and bringing people all night long and i'll give you a spot six months later literally and this brings it a billboard six months later i gotta development deal with well psmith to work in the door six months later like that and bill bertold me as like that happens he'll guilty everyone's gonna dislike here but as i did you get that did you get a lot of resentment there a lot but i didn't care really sounds like you sound like almost like a mean i love you man but you somewhat almost like this hapless retard that stumbled upon success the luckiest world literally to let its not just that it's your personality is very endearing an interesting to great story so it's not just that you're lucky it just
the eu and this is the same thing when you were talking about joey to be joey it's it's can't be joey and market joey you know i'm sorry so it's like who joey is is joey out so it's almost like somebody else has to come along and find what's it what's interesting about you you know but the fact that you liked it kept going out you know and that you started out in new york in the village in its like one of the hardest places you can ever start doing stand i think if you can i always assimilate the two like because i've been able to allay so get a tv show in and then tried to no avail and accounting allay it was just totally different remember bobby kelly came out because i gonna fuck him i'm embarrassed that fucking witty shit what he shit i'm fucking real comic i'm a fucking your i'm gonna go up and talk and who's gonna fuck this witty shit i'm letting in winning shown every just kept saying fuck this witty she witty she witty jobs ok i don't know how much i remember sitting back the improper them look man joe ideas as does never witty bonus body yes
funny should ever heard but bobby he doesn't have to be willing to make i consider the two difference i think both are like working out but new york is like working out in prison where you like it just a fuckin steel bar with two syn box and you just trying to try to get size so you don't get fucked in the ass in the shower and la is like doing like tae bo or or like in class see those that you look good you look tired do not worry about being fought in the shower cause it's not as bad on course i've never done at the store when ellie ella call me comedy is talking in your face like the second you stand up it's not like an industry crowd it's fuckin a bunch of fuckin persians from in from iraq and there were wherever and then it's a fucking bunch of brothers in from ireland some kids from spain parliament they just like fuckin like you up it's a little more grass is a little more you get up and remember the first time i realise that having a joke jokes like i couldn't you start speaking like i needed to interact with someone
really that's we'd always do in new york he just i mean it's it's your act is very organic because you talk to someone hey where you from how'd you get here just seem like never did thirty round i was in new york it seem more i never do that when i was in i just did my act will never talk i know it somewhat ever talk to the crowd is if there is a problem like give to deal with something or of some just like really outrageous i saw the guy was the guy's name he used to do make me laugh to ever that the one on company central more of no there's a company central can indeed jeff ross his eyes on it i've got real data tears over this guy i saw comes in new york or days in l a comic and he got fuckin stall but really bad and i said i'd never see some a bomb before like that where he couldn't come back we just bits and
and he would fucking ate it hard did people can eat it the unita everywhere but that was everyone in the club was like that like all of you for not even probably was uncomfortable programme after bowen downstairs with the tool or felt weird when he got up there that's for that now half of been comfortable where the fuck you are which is the best thing about you know having now fans that come to see you having people that they know what you do in their common see thy nobler crusher he's hilarious i'm gonna see burke crusher in i was posted just coming to any club but that's what are you develop your voice to by doing those those clubs then you have to always think if you're doing these clubs no knows who you are and trying to get them to like you he others the danger of maybe becoming something that you're not because you want them to like you because you want to be more success i could almost like it it hinders your ability they become yourself on stage in i'm talking about the ethics of me
many guys have you seen that like do tell tell when they on stage a lot a lot right and why you and while they're doing it because they know it works to networks and successful i dig it gives them a charge when they're in the audience like they they react to his cadence and then becomes really catchy and then you start start doing it even almost subconsciously because you just trying to be effective in you just trying to be effective up their eyes just eyes to steal from adele when i was young setting know how to write a job and you just me like how fuck wit to tell tell it right emigrant my first joke was you know cops eight when you touch their faces and i was just like that in a tell us in itself
that approach is only i like he said there are no no no no i just always thought that in my head like ours i serious answer you u imitated how just what i would emulate when i i when i read a joker black i got a funny premise because i was hammered on a flight to scotland and a stewardess was trying to cut me off and i knew she was cut me off and i didn't want to say anything and so i just went to my figures were lives like in order to cut me off but i got really cut off this is well before nine eleven and so i told patrice that happen and betrays like that's funny joke because a second you touch someone's face you take all their power away like you testaments face it fuck him and it was like you got a fucking tell it so did you you touch her fate after catastrophism i was so drunk going to scotland from l a while and i just why so what happens when you touched efficiency for gander sheets that's what site you done you done and then and then serbian other be at the end of the day we will get the landscape another one really have been cut off plans alone
will you never got off the plane never never wears the cut off amount like you gotta be if not worse or no no no the least that not just so it's nice a number forty eight hour they will serve me more than for drinks is then first class as well not for first i stole a different value ball tat big if you put before you get control he i'm i'm of public among other pro at now never once if your if your big reform plans this is how i do it dont speak ever speak don't speak anyone just if you want a drink tat your cup do you not hawk ok maybe i am not talking just so that we get more out of that on play its i've a hard time flight fucking mathematical you use it you tellin us before the show the of anxiety right now i think i've horrible anxiety you seem a little like revved uptight you're having a hard time like sting com the up because i really skydiving on saturday and so that in the back of my head like the concept of
that fucking with you why you're talking i do here in the back yard no i don't know if i go there much will depend on how the bird is nearly one right here that's not high so disease not on the same frequency is brought out totally i've got it no a narrowly and dying like that i'm sure be fun it's fuck but there are some i know to people that no people that have died including brian brian's brands it was possible skydiving with this woman and she ass she flattened out home his ground another thing i heard through that i don't know this is true and i think we are talking like how one year skydiving it's really hard to breathe because it's so much air so the who hymettus like like a game you're just trying to breathe your focusing so much on now and started to sweat unaids is really don't bring up how hard the cigar sweat like a pig series really sweating matter really writing about it is hot air something on near you guys are both fat
what's going on here if you were you really knew somebody died skydiving yeah yeah i knew were someone else from my for some friends of mine in houston there was a bunch gus guy dived and you know i didn't know the guy he told me his friend died and then brine story as to the two's enough was eternal album haven't you solo you know a thousand people probably died in or new people at dining car accidents nobody so during the car i don't know a thousand people have died in car accidents happen i thought that's why me and they give andrea man i'm saying if you're going by like percinet know somebody that died you know like it likes you you have friends that no summit dine skydiving land had what would be the difference run when you come out what would be the debutante notice that i have to get to work and be ass guide i alone am i talking on the day of your life i mean i'm not not skydiving because of people dying
the last thing really be that's a first thing i'm thinking of what i think i would feel high pulling that thing in the parachutes not coming out i see that barn and i i'm going to make a fuckin scooby do hole through it the shape of my bike but my outstretched arms though in this gonna hit the hay and i'll turn into a bag of jello and broken bones splat and basic just inside your helmet is job just broken suzanne ashdown defined by its going to check that the high thing are you scared of higher but heights interpret the meter but you you ve been on rollercoaster suddenly to be strapped into somebody else also professionally i'm gonna go tell you must be you have to u can you can't just do it on your first time didn't want you to panic and just i've had to shut off so i ve been up in sweats strutting about that crazy that's virginia
fuck him like this show is a real mindset for you because you have to do a lot of dangerous shit and i shall get we did we what we will do in a country to bargain race where you get a three hundred pound concrete bargain put five kids in it and then you re sit down a mountain against another team was a five hundred threat of hunger covered about pots and you go forty miles per hour no steering and you just flight on a fuck about how you stop it they have breaks the breaks it depends on your breaks are on the thing you may just fuckin flip at our genes it deprives it's in the two people before us the group for us guy goes they ve rag doll it they had a burn harangue knowledge do breaks is re pharmacy places and all the bones and then they are you ready and i was like what my governments like do a broken dreamers game changer is so life ginger vodka loser legs sometimes cause they when they try to re attach it but the feeling back together can't you can get a blood supply gone so
gangrene people lose their lives from failure but that was like one of the things we went shovel racing in new mexico do not mean what's that you just sit on a shovel got on amendment seventy miles an hour jesus christ to social and then just and hope you don't die just sit back like that how fast moving on i defiling it seventy but guys around seventy two seventy miles an hour shovel shovel no brakes or can i help you dealing with some fuckin blue slope i got a blue soup because the employee diamonds because green blue and black and want a blue it's like being while shaved and like salt oh my god and you just are flying so that no basically the loose oats it's exactly like a loose and but but with less like less control casual shovel let its end stood the rajah sticking between your legs it's been
i learned a lot about myself with anxiety through the show like i've learned a ton but i still hike either i am still dictated by my anxiety like in what way like the certain foods only i noted fuck with me and mill the night just wake up in heaven anxiety check if certain foods trigger anxiety what most telling my stomach dictates mines at its heart palpitations like sons prozac onions and stuff i know at makes my heart beat a little crazy a narrow me its black westernize evades onions make your heart be rising food like the other night when my shit was all jack deprecating those how pianos stuff out of help yeah yeah fucks if fucks my stomach up which then fucks my hard up which makes me like fuckin like conscious of my heart and then i'm like freaking out low you don't get any anxiety not about that stuff was developing fuck no never know where
really really where huge limits are really weird did not have an anxiety to meet and like most piano i thought always happened like i'd never line of demarcation this thing is i don't like you about something that's true at all like yours said had some let me clarify i've had some parent moments on we'd for sure of that some moments but think those are very important i think those are the ones that you really valiantly live like that i don't like me and i like those like knowing my side like being scared is fought without things out because you're not gonna know it's not anxiety because i'm not panicking i'm just a tariff terribly terribly aware of everything and it's on a panic attack is just an acceptance of the whole picture its where i don't feel like a mom i can handle it or i'm gonna freak out o my heart beating do vast it's never that just the humbling aware feeling an awareness of the big picture
i like that research saying i think those very people take drugs to get away from a feeling you name it i go into it i run into it that's what the tank is the tank accentuates any feeling that you get the ever the two high in like freaked out i go in the tank lamb too high when the higher i get like the deaths of more wanting in the tank because you face it and you come out of it you always learn something always i always know more about myself i always know whether i'm on the right track as far as like you know what is going on in my subconscious it's fucking with me is there anything real autonomy yea i go right in them and see all obsess about anything if you can if you can give me even give me something i'll mollet over my head like going to jump off the stratosphere i literally was up before throwing up alabaster where would you feel like you making progress with all this crazy critical yes ma am i'm deftly making progress but like i'm definitely can progress but i but i still the stratosphere by the ways can be a lot scared and skydiving wrote yet because your
we'll be able to see like a kind of like a point of distance or mean language you crazy no have died in the stratosphere nodded skydiving is you you're so far a move what does that you did it doesnt freak you out right was now zambians like little sense i mean if you're standing on top of a really tall building you can fuckin see that you're really high up because you could see other things at the same level or below or higher so give you more than i do that you're really high reference pierre yeah when europe it up then you know the plane shirts it's also like almost like cartooning fate like a retarded autonoe man to me it looks like a goddamn plain fly and thirty thousand fucking feet above the earth is just go to six teachers get has had a long time it hit the ground sixteen in saying this i hit the ground quite choices quick well those planes adjust falls in the sky every now and then those skydiving
and we can with fucking point you open up a door in the middle of flight was going right i think you can be filed and let us blades man if they would if that pilot has mustache you might be screwed such drugs related to crash all the time did you ever see that when the crash and mexico four tons of cocaine i have had the right now she s cia blaine frightened when the great stories well time see a plain headed went to guantanamo bay on two separate occasions clearly a cia play for time to cocaine in it crashes and makes mexicans won't let momentum refilled because they know what the fuck they're doing better wait portland fucking me have you been a boring male sheila who say that out of owning i'm going this year i just don't know they i didn't have a major comedy club for the longest time so it's hard for a comics the torch important but then they just put does helium play since i done portland before i did see her there in his crate but this is really fun we had to do three nights five shows over three nights everything so that way in advance with all podcast fans you know and that's it
the data that i've been talking about a lot lately and i was talking with you about in the kitchen everything has changed its completely different you know that those people are coming to shells are way more enthusiastic its weight differently now they know you better it's it's it's a crazy experience man do you feel like you have more of a chance to refund stage so i don't know man i'm bob and cut my my sets down an hour in ten minutes just you just united something one podcast way me that re maybe re evaluate everything what stage the fifty minutes somebody at fifty minutes jim northern did that norton fifty assam do fifteen arson and he made me think because i do a lot to do in a lot of long sets why do this question answered thing the end but the problem the quest answered thing is that it doesn't have the same pop as the regular show and so the show always would can end on some weird note like i'd be crushing for an hour and then i do this question answered thing for an hour and then people retired so did the experience in the show was not the same out an eye
i was giving a more shall i thought i was being more generous giving more show but i really is the best way to do it really is to give our hour in ten max and just mash just now that gave us guns and i've been doing that for the last evening standing owes those eyes although shows in portland instead of like because i saw too we kind of like a fizzle it was just kind of like show's over now here's as other thing in a paper forgot about the show that the kind of do exactly and images but now it is just like fuckin roaring you know those people want to come back they're telling other friends immediately instead of going away i was good last night yet another all standing ovation whose whose awesome portland was can never had of play for people handed me more we'd never dude ice dunk of lead when i got home i was wearing the same pants i wore the shut the show the night before and missus ruggles like you fucking stink we need is my pain i took a shower and she was smell in the bathroom and she was your pants was wouldn't you smoke you fucking pants like this and i would like it was ridiculous from you
blow and we'd army and joey anywhere in the green room joe i we can see at the airport like i smell weeds was my parents know i might have been that too but hitherto brown i opened my book back up and there was a ball there was a joint in a bag of meat in a secret pocket i didn't even know existed in my holy shit no doubt had done our pretend i know you ran direction only we go home soon my kids do that can be both a quarter i once i'm or find a vegas over in my car or sing in my car and we have a beggar we'd like spring and i go i don't wanna because although the security with it isn't it back in vegas you think anyone's gonna check worries while the words like our pockets i told my bag we gotta leave we saw walking at the last minute i fuckin gotta hold on an item of ngos though in the morning on my phone number and bring in it so i but i don't tell jammed psych forget i'll deal with whom we are too vague
so we go through security and as we go through here today communist side and then i saw me to check your bag and j thinks he i have it and i start laughing hysterically as i know that i read why don't you think i have it right enter and then the guy is a tall black i d estaing right there he goes what are you laughing at cern ago elbows travelled with we but i left my car goes brain car like we were sure karas like to tell you have we raised we your corridors like what kind of a t s able shit fuck in question is that right gonna break says yeah i wanted you scare you into given up the we're gonna walk into praise stadium and i said the lady just out of curiosity when though it's the moments you don't have drugs that you want to find out how it would go down if they busted you right said the lady i said to check my fanny pack but i firmly believe a very practical give us a number of ownership
here's some get mad at all all this what's dead for two thousand eleven to fanny pact will never die ok because i'm not trying to get laid so fuck you they're so convene sensible there in writing they are all your shit right there exactly i love where am i love i love you will think that dorky school special remarried kids it's as you were boils mary with kids kid how about i never stop wherein it haven't i that's right we were given me shit on a message board in the nineties for wearing fanny pack you're very successful and it doesn't matter brine where you looking wrong you riding around to stop and think about does the level of pussy that you get on a regular basis if i was rooted still rock of fanny pack and pulled it off trust me kid most probably get you more pussy propagate you more possibilities motherfuckers accuse faintly pan european converse now starts to women
that's one of the things that women like more than anything is a guy that can be himself that we should know who the fuck you are instead of you going out pretending to be some different person matter where the fuck you go women know when they can count on you they know when i can cut that requires gonna be sailors that's not the tenth exactly gulp fuckin porn style a big big fuckin twisty one so a list of discovery route released is talking about checking you at the airport gives it this is amazing did department of homeland security and they they put out this the following characterised to qualify as a person for two potential domestic terrorist petition am i too because it's so ridiculous expressions of liberty marion philosophies bumper stickers or statements like you might be a fucking pullet potential domestic terror because you think that people should be able to do whatever they wanted to using the libertarian ideology is better than republican or democratic ideology a me
you have as a bumper sticker so you might be a domestic terrorist this is if this was just some crazy asshole that ransom website some right wing website but this is like through the giver people instructions look out for second amendment oriented views and our re or gun club membership jesus fucking christ what you can't go home thing if you if you have you want to shoot your own mean getting it from some fuckin slaughterhouse europe potential domestic terrorists because you believe in their rights to keep guns you think that adults should be able to have guns just like adults can a fucking cars ok just like don't you have a lot of shit that can fuck you up right yeah gudge people should have done right that's why they're here they're here so a and should people that are bad and be you can shoot animals need them ok it's not fuck it actual terrorist issue i would almost say there's out are you there is no connection between people of guns and terrorism about that i would say almost on four percent in the guise of fucking stupid
none levin that's it because it can get guns on board no knowledge guns exactly but what's the point where's the connection where do you draw connection between someone who owns the gods the eye is that people want to overthrow the government in our thinking about thirteen what is it with their thinking about people rise the fuck up and realized his goddamn corrupt govern that's right in this country needs to be held accountable for their bullshit i finally finish that inside job last night fuck i had to turn off the last time i watched it i want for an hour and i might i'm getting angry for no reason and i had to shut it off but i find watch it all last night it is maddening it's all about the finance collapsed on inside job a year that you think nine eleven it's not about nine eleven saw about the financial collapse and it's all into all these economists and all these people that didn't predicted all these people that fuckin profit from it and the talks one of the most disturbing things how corrupt economics has become the study of economics at the university level because all these fucking
eyes were teaching economics at harvard in colombia the wind up working for the president's their work important for governments anyone applying only speaking kate engagements whether making millions of dollars and they they showed this account fact is that everyone is just stealing and ever getting away with it because everyone's protecting everyone everyone is making sure that no one is held accountable frogs fucking radical moving man matthew matt damon matthew damon is now iter and its really good if you want to get crazy go in and see how fucked up this country is and how fucked up the on fixable foundation of this country is the financial foundations country it's not it is amazing that it works at all and these motherfuckers that got bonuses man just a reason whole witness to ask for hundreds of millions of dollars doing in the middle of a gigantic financial collapse you are at least partially responsible for the fact that nobody holes into the fire it's not
and it is one of the naughtiest documentaries i've ever seen in my life this guy was running the documentary too he's asking some of the questions one of the guys and catches allow these guys are going to guys it worked for rob for bush in our view so an economic adviser proportion is also for four people didn t believe it teaches at harvard and they caught the scanner how can term and no quick and you see that the frustration when their hitting and with logic and facts and look at how could you not know and then if they're hitting with all this information about things that he said and how long it was and how did you why did you think that this economy was stable why did you think that you know these these funds should be you know rated at double lay me while they crashed the very next day i mean it's not man that would do just stealing it's incredible its everyone is stealing so it seems like they can get away with it can keep doing no one's own for anybody to be held accountable it's really weird man me we're in the middle of like a giant trillion dollar heist and these banker
literally ripped off everyone its edge one of the most incredible things i think i've ever seen when in when it's really blind in detail when they talk about it from the point of the stock and you know and where where people were banking on things to fail yet selling them and and and promoting them with their clients me while its raising i mean you have to watch like five or six times i think to really wrap your head around how fuckin complex at all is because that the whole thing and system is it's almost intangible it's like it's there nothing there like as you get deeper and deeper into and try to figure out how to pick something up there's nothing the grab it's really weird man let it drives me fuckin knots of the movies any indication of this conversation i think ass one than the five first five minutes i get i lie around you always have a six year olds intelligent tell it like a span of listening to show i'm just so i'm just so fucking
i've frustrate generator yeah pretty much like a kid you read me whenever i can read reeling never first book ever read was like really read like bought it for myself and set amateur read it was naked by a deficit are wiser freedom when i was a kid i read a lot of fiction martial arts are read a lot of martial arts books you know how to read a lot of books on strategy like you know that's where i first read the book of five rings which became my god it's tattoo that this is me modem massaging fighting a tiger and the in one of the reasons why i got that tattoos could to read something when i was a little kid really ec sunk into my head once you stand the way broadly you can see it in all things as what he said and the ideas that once you find greatness and anything weathers painting or sculpture music that will you find something you just nail you you get to the core of it you want stand what what greatness is and you can see it in everything you could see it not just in europe your chosen
but in everything and it really is like a wave of channels billions and it made me think that as i was a kid if i just really threw myself into martial arts i could be successful life because even if it martial arts that i wound up pursuing their would i would if i could get greatness if i could figure out what greatness is if i could really understand the way really tap into it i could transfer this autumn i live which has actually been true you figure better at comedy or martial arts i don't know man and i have never even thought about it it's not
something that i would think about it's all eu you better whenever you put the most attention to november an elegant but i got the first time i was a big baseball player grown up and our member playing baseball with guys i went on to go pro like up i caught brad reggie whose pitcherful twins and i'm about play a baseball them all grown up in the way that parents looked at him play baseball i'm ever thinking like no one looks at me like that no it's like pulling me aside like a great game really pert like i'm still made all stars and i still got recruited to play like a high school but i never had the i never had that it that and then the first it stand opposing ok that's the like i got that it this is what this the similarity for me is probably just the opposite when i first hour doing comedy and i'd was leaving martial arts i was really gotta martial arts and not gonna call me at all to reinvent myself just as a
the martial arts i was being a four time massachusetts state taekwondo champion i won the us open i came in second place in the u dot s cop to the current national championship on the olympics and i was right there i was really young was twenty nineteen the time then twenty one i had a couple fights asserted kickboxing when i was twenty one that's fucked up everything that's why the reasons why stop doing i stopped competing dispossessed are realising that there was a bunch holes in my martial arts game because it was just doing one style of two of martial law which was taken down when a switch from ticonderoga boxing and kickboxing realises big wholesome again and then arose then it may me not respect one day as much as an individual martial arts and then competing in taiwan don't seem sort of ridiculous to me because well now i know that vulnerable to punches so now in my mind i would have to start kickboxing because otherwise i would be practising something that wasn't as effective then i started kit boxing i realize ok there's not even any money and so what the fuck am i doing here you know what i'm gonna do i'm running kickboxing jem and
i'm on a per brain damage that what was looking at my future nose like i figured i gotta figure what the fuck i'm earlier i was twenty one and i was this dual how many guys in time don't have that kind of incited twenty won't keep well being firstly because no one raised me this time left in the streets like a war for me my parents both worked and by the time you know they got home it was six o clock and you know i was already friends house or somebody was wild kid laundry yeah what was it wasn't me i was a different time man you know when i was little man i was like seven years always doing fishermen's wharf oyster in san francisco you have my magic show eyes to walk down the street with by myself my own thing seems a seminary a little magic show that i got for christmas and i would put a fuckin had on a cave and set up a stand that would do a show by myself no friends and no one with me completely by myself this is a different world
another people lived in back that you can't let a fucking eight year old out the house by themselves today that he's gonna get raped and killed too bad you didn't know little joe ideas at the time which has area awaiting your lobbies meted out of work and also show showing it i would have been best friends from among women i was best friends the moment madame though i would have been better as with joy if we met war six scientists are now you're so so are you i realized i throw my whole life into martial arts from autonomous fifteen times twenty one but when i was twelve i start teaching at this place in revere there was the nautilus fitness placing revere and they had a extra side room was really big nice rooms we started teaching type window there and her i opened my own branch of the gigantic window and stood out death and that's why met this guy joe lake who was a box in coach in these coached some you have seek isaac marcus davis and is as you know is really really good box and cut a great guy and it became one of my good friends and heat a box and when i started boxing i start realise like man
got like all these holes in my fuckin martial arts game like at one day i was really good at type window but you added in boxing and then eventually leg kicks and unlike me i got a lot of fuckin flaws in my game so it made me not one ever compete in type window again and then since it was so much work to do to become a competent kick boxer then it was like water when you become a boxer because and i become a boxer now really starting almost from scratch momentum a rudimentary almost in a beginner what and then what am i gonna start fighting in that way is excellent but i get fights could you can't even get boxing or kick fight in massachusetts we had to do two rhode island to fight so the last time i thought i thought three times in one day a funny kickboxing term i won the first via knocked the first guy out i beat the second guy up and then the third guide dog third guy was like three fights and i was completely customs hours later the sulphur free and i got i was one the first round and then i got clip of the left foot and it was really weird
it didn't hurt just my leg stop working i'd never happened maybe we realise that the ones where they go like this they got just go rubber boy my way i needed to stop working as ip disconnected my brain from my legs my legs no longer communicated with my brain they just shut off and i went and i got up and then he again i went down again i got up and they start the fight it was was it i've been hit way harder before it wasn't that he just hit me perfect prosper and i was exhausted in one year had shooting fishing and i was delivering newspapers i get up every morning five o clock to deliver newspapers and then i would take a nap dr limos than i would go train still trying to at the same time so that made me really realize i had to pick a path and then like you know this was a good wake up call for me and my ego mom wanted me to get back in there and go smash and then i'll show that was a bad enough that i really i didn't train right for that fight and i was out of shape and i was sick you know but thankfully
you're gonna wait or shut my ego up long enough to get some distance you're egos fight you this fact in what way it's attached to shit that doesn't matter y know i'm sorry to see the world a little differently dumb recently conversation we had a we only i'd say it's all about i almost got off items gonna fight with a guy in driving member yes and you're like that's fucking elliot the dummy around the world and how dangerous in that to me was the first wake up call like why would i that like i started thinking like the catholic just from our conversations i think we owe you yeah fuck him actually fairly haven't picks up you're putting me in this you wouldn't want to hear this but like by one of the toughest guys i i know like stuff like no one would ever scare you tell him the scale of our say you have z causally rebels garrick but what i'm saying is like and so i started like checking like ok
why do you feel so confident to start fighting what is known as that and then i started and then i started like sizzling down it was like polish shit man my ego my egos totally attached to took to do not like cool shit nick it's not a drink i what do you suppose the deuce meditate and again the tank now i dress the member one thing i drink and then forget about it and then wake up and i just would like to mention an attack man i think you would really enjoy it over both the deuce meditate and again the tank now address the my number one thing i drink and then forget about it and then wake up and i just i would like to let you know tat man i think you would really enjoy it or what you next to me and at what i can talk to each other jobs due to my house brow and i could be right outside the tank there's ports my personality i can't stand
you know they wanted to let you were unto tumbling i dont like this but don't be sensitive ok but listen i love you may have the whereby no i know where i live i know i am i like i know that when this when birth conquered gets cancelled whenever it does he again so i will talk about it secondly to people now you want i well knows as this is what you say you say you'll talk about it which is why you talk about it but if you just say you want and just decide you know what went wrong concur if it ever does get canceled god forbid i'm going to move on to something else and i'm going to i'm going to push for your attaining guy man the world needs entertaining people what party not to worry about it you know like about you i get angry thing so easily i see i do that too and that is something i know about my number one my number one thing whether something someone says or something something that happens or even watching this fucking this documentary
i get angry i was illegal visualizing what i wanted to do physically to each one of these constant causing always people lose their houses and this picture strangling them just getting so enraged it'll almost become like an animal like animals too and primal it gets very it's very dangerous why i was saying to you like being really careful you never know who the fuck you gonna run across as crazy as i might be nothing compared to a lot of people it i've ever met man i've met some good really crazy mother fuckers it of you pick them you're the wrong guy and you wind up saints unto them they like our thank you jesus you just brought me someone to kill and they'll just attack you and they know how to fight to is alive people like that a lot of them i've met a lot of you always been like that me anger yeah it is my childhood part of it is genetic imbibe sicilian peasant genes mean is the reason why my hands there is a wider sinner blocks in the weirdest bogota folks the way bone structure of giant hands in other than good for heading things short and wide but my
emily you know they were the grew up carrying bricks and shit in that's what my ancestors did you know that that like that design like i think there's a lot of aggression built it certain body types ident there's no if you look like super athletic like you know you look at some fuckin like us mike tyson looking dude like looking mike tyson just body you look just
god is designed to destroy things just designed to when he used to step into the ring when he was in the prime of life and the ladys he would get into that fucking rang and those like tat is the scariest human being that's ever walked to face the are you couldn't imagine doing anything else that's what he was therefore is it smash thing just a tank apple that guy guaranteed he's got up giant biological build up a stress it needs to blow besides haven't i fucked up childhood i mean i think a lot of people that are in jail are in jail because they have fucked up bodies man they have fucked up childhoods a interesting so you can almost said the body dictates a personality it does have some effect is not completely it's not a completely benign thing i think that without a doubt it work
i think so much clearer after i work out to me it's like mandatory i don't i don't allow myself to say i'm tired i'm just taking that i don't allow that because i don't like me when i don't work out so i'm making me work out and make me work out so i can i can be saying like it's for me it's like i always feel like i got this monkey that is monkey gear the cage is gonna throw should it may and he's gonna fuckin start right on the cage like things on fire let him out the cage come our body let's go let's say my feeling about my dogs like feel bad about i'll walk my dogs front to take more on the neighbourhood investment i wanted to get out get out get out it's a saint what the animal inside you the animal side you need to know the exact motherfuker needs to rage if it doesn't rain starts looking for opportunities to rage i start looking list
want to get my lane fuck you fuck you bitch up after we're gonna like you're gonna do not rush i started letting people i thought of this the other day i got flicked off by these very liberal couple really a very liberal couple of course i am the stereotype of of ignorant white male driver friggin expedite expedition black on black you no fuckin i'm just have a tab out staggering you back yet rwanda put it always plants of something like hip hop and i and i guess i got them all voted no and therein is little was the little prince though this mankind that many children from many cooper and they flicked me off and then she would but like was coming up in me and pointing
are your car oh yes i don't know me or my car who fuckin knows and and then aus we both got off at lower canyon and we're right next to each other and also i'm a fucking tell em off the nose i called on if i tell him off nothing's gonna come of this but if i make them feel like they won then maybe they'll continue this behaviour until they went into the guy who beats a living fuck out of them you set a trap so i set a trap window and i think you got thought and then they took off their land does that great to die if you took a dives dives fucking that's genius that's i've never heard anyone doing that like we do not know do you see deep sense phony innocent people read out the gay oh yeah so fucking good at the glorious cause you're so honest ah idea really honest with you i see shit like where the gate
yeah i'm super honest citizens who must not be an honest i smell at a mile away i smell crazy to raise my wife s friend we went there with them and when we first met him and and i thought to meet me not all night long and drink and we're having a good time and then we have done it leggum issues like how can you not like them you just had a barometer she's fucking crazy she's she's not crazy and then and then and then now i'm like matlock come like we're just gonna hate and then i gotta just untangle the necklace enough he starts to follow and then i brought it up about like drugs and shoes i got a problem of method like you do that so far he said that i had a brian cowen story were bright used to always day these really fucked up girls and try to fix them and brands momentum as friends and ninety four when i hosted mad tv i met brian and we block in
we became restaurants and when we're hanging around the first thing i noticed we were hanging around to get us like this mother fucker date some broken pages made his current wives a very nice person but his his he's had some disasters in the past can be fulfilled apple no comment the hopeless remembered hearing something you know come as no comment we are on the internet there are hundreds of thousands of people and some of them may know fiona so probably not anyway he he he just you know i used to tell him and you gotta get better reading people getting emma getting it and getting it can better man is not yet a lover unilever so he introduced me to her right i say hi honey don't shows how nice to me and i can't talk to you for a second poem outside i go lesson
looking daisy yes yes yes i go do this bitch is fucking crazy yep no i shouldn't have a sugar ham and i looked in your eyes and i saw madness it was like that sam shepard movie based on that in the mouth of this meant that it was that also goes into this bitch is completely insane outside support methodically swimming around i go there bitches crazy she's not she's a good girl none at all do she's a fuckin amateur doo doo doo doo you're famous she's nervous she's meeting none of us know has nothing to do with article that bitch is easy man you're gonna trust me do i know craze all my spider senses we're goin off i got you better get the fuck away from me trust me you gonna find out you'll find out the hard way you need one will you tractor what she's nice she's these friends no no she doesn't she needs wretches fuckin nut time goes on and eventually he finds out at sea the method like my master you know i don't know how you miss this but i she was weekly insane add some like some some kind was looking at look for her and you know
where he wines of eventually slowly getting rid of her right it just gets rid of her and then one day he's walking down the street ok and she's grow walking towards them in the grocer hooker in us stir not and he looks having realises this girl and she's gonna fuck it cabs interfaces she's pick interface he goes out and she knows what do you think ok i'll take care of me this is i know and i swear to god i picked this up from hi how are you alright all these alarms i've got it not you can't you can always think you're good at that you always got to be open to the possibility that you haven't picked it up yet you guys going to be open the pasta people are better covering a bullshit or they have from motivations for being crazing what
is there motivate the other delusional crazy because delusional crazies pretty easy to spot they lie to themselves or are they deceptive crazy deceptive crazy strange because sometimes deceptive crazy i just like us you passing element of that were there cern about how they come off so that the like big deal i really like play to your strengths and all sonny i guessed correctly compliments may well we like meanwhile what he has is just a certain type of minute bit of crazy you haven't picked up yet park i've had suddenly crazy people my life course you're comic man when did do just do and shows how many nutty fuckin people do mean after shows
you make the greatest sounds man you got me up with every patient listen my last time you were here there's a fucking story about the russian mob we teach these bitterness that we let these people right now on twitter they have been going crazy all day do not lead burke crusher get out of there without the russian mob story tell us what the fuck happened this is in eighteen ninety three probably i think is what i want to russia of thick and russian classes deplores data there are spanish classes labour i bet there's been disguises because it was a new class and i signed up and then i was like fuckin sweet spanish at noon i confirmed that
and then i get there and they start writing a new language a new alphabet them like art is clearly in spanish so then i said i'm alive in the teachers ike listen don't leave because of you leave why we cannot of course and i think i'm a masters degree so but if you stick around i'll talk to her glass dynamic clashes like listen don't you know if you don't leave and i want to show the class will you be a sea has like done so i took russia at a russian one two and three because these kids need another guy under their class to take these classes at an fanatic rush i take one for me go to russia we go to russia but this is russia like when the mob ran russia like her you did our yes aware of that now ok unlike the nine late nineties mid nineties the mob ran everything that had to do with russia so i'm going over to russia you had to be you had to literally pay off the mob in order to go and study abroad so we paid off the mob and they gave us in return to bandy does too young monsters who
everywhere with us they live in our hotel they stay with us they went on tours with us they want they were did everything with us the names are eagerly sought are our teacher was like listen this is eagerness asha they will be ghosting us when my teacher whose companies like during the fuck em up eager inside sites like they were guy named bruce and they were like and they will owe it gets worse oh so they like listen whatever you do its work last do not talk to them do not interact with alarm i do not engage some they are only here to shadow what's my head i'm like fuckin get to know these gets right let's get a ball of vodka six pack of both i have on their door no mind my speak no russia the time no rushing side never son unknown classes so first night there a knock on ignoring such his room in their having a party in their like fucking other friends or in the room they live right next to me and kendra my teacher looked across the hall for meagre so knock on the door eager opens the door and he looks like a fuckin thought he's got
is it like a wife peter on a cigarette a beer and he just look me in russian he just got store and now as the second he says i start packing all the free as i had in my head that i was trying to say all disappear and all i say too eager in russian is i am the machine what is that is neither am i see too and so but i just said yama gmo and he went snow and now i dont know what i said and looked at what i just said fuck you like and i gotta go i am the machine and he goes say it again i've never and then he says laughingly brings me another room is i say it again and so i say to the roma the fundamental my other machines like you're probably see i said that all fuckin might with these guys communication we had as i said on the machine eager sauce and i became best friends right we did everything together if we want our field trip
tell me machine you don't need to go in a field trips combined with us so now cut to one day we have to take a train to moscow no different mob ran the train to moscow and a different trot great mob ran moscow an eco social or no out across boundaries and they told me they said listen we're going to go with you but we ve taken care of you we ve talked to the monsters on the train and moscow because we had to pay to which they say they were allowed to come with you there were allowed to come within the different member paying a different mob now to protect us on the train different mob to protect us in moscow holy shit so they said we take care of it don't worry about it so they take new the train and introduce minute or two new gangsters eager and eager and what i thought about everywhere where do you think you are that afforded tea or an ear there's our names russets alex your associates whatever fyodor so so eager and eager mighty or sets of easy worse this is the machine if you give em out all you'll have a great time
through the roof the right awesome door will take care of you we were sitting at first class you not sitting with your class using a first class to moscow and unlike bullshit talking about measuring another guy john bolshoi big john i bring him with me to go sit at first class unsure of memory fuckin first class just me these two eagerness john the conductor a shit you not the conductor before the train takes off comes into the room i swear to you rip off the ban the thing says this is a present for the machine i would be an honour to do a shot with you and i'm like this fucking rights why do i shouted conductor and we pound this vodka within like fucking thirty forty five minutes were done all the bank in the room well worth drinking hard and my classes hollan coach and upset a first class and evenly warlike let's go get more vodka roma done they these guys run the fuck dream so we get up we walk into the bark art and biggie or says machine grab a ball of gub gub some bread
club and unlike the spread of understanding russia is a grab some see it as cheese like russian and look at john stand by me my grandma i know i know that one in these like gravel the money grab all the rules and what i look around and were robbing the bark heart what the depart henderson i'm like this everyone standing against the wall and i'm sitting behind the bar with a handful of rubles a bottle of vodka and a thing of bread going holyfuck john looks like just take it let's go take all the fucking cash the market and what is the bartender doing not making eye contact every and their pay everyone just let it out of the mob they read everything in russia everything while in so we get done and we go back to our room and it's a totally different energy like very like very sketchy you know and you freaked out now freedom
so make fuck i just read the car i know no saw anyone run the bark are except for me and my teacher vow whose at the time was our chaperone did speak any russian she comes to a first class cart opens the door and says i need to talk to you right now and as i listened to you as i told you that you're in big trouble you i'd buy classmate your classmates told me what happened begging we're takes a sip of vodka spit in her eyes and knows no one talks machine like that i'm like wow he spit vodka in her eyes fuckin it is in the end and shut the door and looks at me and he says don't worry i got you when it gets dark we have a lot of fun and he pulls out a thing keys he's got used to the whole fuckin trainees like we're gonna rob
everyone when the like a stark now unlike fought but this is bad news bad for canoe so weak it gets dark shorn of ice or rather the trade go to my class first we fuckin opened the door lily or crawl impulse bags out john and i will go through them and try not to steal like anything important and biggie or would stand guard and if any one woke up in days civil vodka and spit in their face what and it was a bit sketchy now it's getting something far they load of these guys are invoking known another loaded though their hammer pissed rock we rama whole class and then i think we end up they end up taking off and on into the car me john or citizen in the first ask artistic were fought man were fought we rob the train we brought the bark art and they come back in there just fuckin angry dropped like piss angry drunk we pull in moscow and my teacher vow comes the door opens and said a misleading you know we call the police so that fuck so eagerness e learning or like fucking door if not the police but the please this is russia
the thought she pictures says america this is russia we run everything mike i'm in a fucking go to the gulag turn up man the cops are sitting on me on the middle like the middle you know where people get off the train that little receiving area my classes sitting there the whole class or in the pajamas their crying their bags having gone through their fucking giving statements to the cops cops are writing them down and i'm sitting with eager and eager and john in a fucking cart and there's still drinking smoking that fuck this thought this will take it there it is right now they walk outside out to the cops and start yellow the cops unlike the fucker this is not
i would have taken care of its elements of sanitary shouting in the coffee shop back and finally big you are the first point to me like he's pennants whole fuckin thing on me like i'm going down for the whole thing and then the cut off point of me and tell me exactly as it is by the owner whatever you say coming right now so i fucking walk out and at that moment where you find the hash on your body in oh they find it and you're going to jail forever at that moment that walk we're asshole gets cold and you like this is it and then express fuckin that's the moment and i walk all the way across the world again tralee get to him i get right up to the cop the cop at me and he goes i understand you're the machine again agus tonight you party with us what's so that we were not part of these costs so that caused it nothing like him and i think they were so excited to meet the machine what's it like this fuck it it was the it was it was isn't it was an nick is there no one funny in russia is that what it is no there was no there was no humor
no one really with you is that when it is no one funny and then you come along and you're hilarious so they like we're parting with you yeah knows and i was just lao like there's no allow people like you would you be willing to move to russia to be their bitch and d like now those are scared me one night the guy well we need to do party with these guys party with evil and you are on the train only and then a party with the cops in moscow with john and then for one night and then week we hid from them because they want they like the cops one nor the cops risk scary more secure than the gangsters cause they u they could not get trouble like that you will find my top car you're like what the fuck drive my hop cause fucking do they drive and the less and the right side is us of our rubber i was there for three months to go now the housing only drive on the same side is us but say but there i mean like the whole experience in russia is just a minute just i remember one time we eager aren't you gonna sasha as said they're gonna get both
for us for russian made air labour day and there like well they're gonna have a big both for our whole class rondonia about so i get up early for the day one at the boat negotiate egos room and eagles eating dried fierce drinking beers and i was like what mattered second thought i got money as we are about and what do you mean he goes up to i've tried everything strutting about kicking fuckin boat and we ve promised the class about for the tore it spoke about his own i gonna fuck and he goes and alcinous the phone rings and he goes we got about ago we do negotiation so we start walking to the dock we're carrying a fuckin big case a beer my whole class cameras and fuckin their law passports rather neck and one of his buddies walks out needs a gay and as i say and then we just get to the top
there's a boat there we just get on it and take off and halfway through realizing i just saw the fuckin boat and real he just all the boat and he was like russia must be just fuckin crazy insane we went to lead to the big my boss party one night and yours i tell them about the us this is the machine this is the guides how does this all happen i just was loud and then and then i was parting with eagerness auschwitz so much that like that and they just tell her friends are you gotta meet this guy you gotta meet the sky so funny to limit wouldn't have a drink with you again today we do shots with broke crusher you gotta be careful man you're selling yourself as this incredible fun party guy and gonna wanna do shots with it i don't i'm fuckin friends with eager on facebook now i tried to find a good i follow your twitter i think eagle eye like article only a filmmaker really bad tat they really will be a filmmaker any talk about film and what kind of film i've no five
snuff i was the only to at the time are to renounce eager was eager spy dead i would say you had a pretty interesting life before you ever became a comedian you think you have a wealth of fuckin stuff to talk about onstage figure out a way to tell that mobs historian stage i can access to lawyers to like it's i could tell you here but it to tell it chop up it's hard it's really hard the tracing moratoria right you can't i never for culture that's ridiculous but there's a perfect example of j was tall and on station was crushing i know she totally telephone stage that maybe i'll have him till the machine story than to have a vital it act from him just this farm it out to other like you know if there's some naxian comics in town satellite surrogate jokes you have them your joke for you into the term by yet so i don't i don't know party like
really anymore you will tell us how much hammered you get lately because china voice this sum plead their like that's fucking exiled that's me trying to handle whatever i've done my brain so that it can get from fanelli to new york do you feel like yours is some guys don't want to lose that anxiety because their worried radically become evolved some whatever enlightened how have you want to sit there wouldn't be funny anymore i'm afraid whatever i get nervous ship forego stay still ice i think that if i became more light no one be funny i would avoid like doing yoga avoid meditating because i literally thought it had to be more fucked up to be funny i feel away like they asked me to get on this drug courts alexa from what is our do fair social anxiety disorders must say so ex husband as the alley c c p l e say now onset and ass i gotta put out of work or used to treat depression the class of antidepressants called
selective serotonin re uptake inhibitors that works at increasing the amount of serotonin unnatural substance you now am i without this stuff is first get your body in order that's what i saw everybody whenever i talk to anybody and i got to get my get announcement then i'm not completely opposed to people doing and any sort of antidepressant i've i know people let's change their fuckin life i know p boards helped them dramatically you know including one body mine who got on it changes life and then slowly weaned himself often literally has a different way of thinking now ruin it saved me i was really super depressing some real issues and how much of it was his childhood how much of it it was as biology whatever the fuck it is but i think you're gonna get your body in order before we start fuck around with all that stuff bodies yeah mobile course it's not working so good then it's how often you work out i wanna be how do you mean about unwanted vines healthy twenty vice why don't you
joint some sort of a gem get get some sort of a trainer now that's that wins out ok about their spring a dvd on the road of the august dvds after all body weight exercises yeah yeah you do it in your hotel room you set a laptop down on the bed and brightened from the bad you need a fuckin small space you start doing squads and hindu push hobson inadequate and in our great pushups with collapse in between home and then you could do handstands against the wall dude you can have a serious work and work out steve max taught me how to do chin ups on i adore you are you put it how will inside the door slammed shut so there's a knot in the town and not stays like so that you know you can you can see the door shut and you know you have it so you can't pull the towel thrilled you can with it i talk the crazy shit miles around god i'm sure that's one of the things i need to do
but before we start taken any crazy have died they just said that you should be on who says some fucking doctor i went to a therapist wants and she was i can you to talk to you know i'm a palm of lime and boys had probably find enough i two thousand miles ear but i still having already when i get on a plane i can't get rid of it i did then disappear like yeah what's u need units alexa you also have a social agenda inside it like a fuckin i can talk to people all day long yeah that's ridiculous eads anyone say that you have a social anxiety disorder you're fucking comedian you have it but it's so i'm sure there's other things than they did in fact everyone has a little better social links i just cause you don't mean when you first talk to someone you don't know what the fuck you getting in how many get better at a more you soon as you get older but i used to remember i used to go to bed and is i already started doing calmly the time and fucking weird almost dumb like like failed some of my speech when i was to someone at the bank element
get up to the counter how can i help you sir yeah i need termed is needed but the deposit partners but you're just like it just couldn't come out right i was nervous for whatever stupid reasoning i had fought i had done and by dunaway scary scary things but talking to a teller for whatever reason would make me walk up so i think we all have a certain amount of social anxiety and as a matter of overcoming that need india indonesia bert the whole of the whole world i've gotten so confused with whatever in the car or cities are we whichever like whatever time our conversation with someone like you need the one that doesn't make you think you're the one that doesn't make your body you don't feel in your body and unlike with simply
you're over thinking everything said i it seems like the is that i don't think it's any different than anyone else i don't think i'm i dont think come i think give anyone had my life style or my life like we travel you're gone all the time jumble of buildings job gonna planes i think if any one had life they go through this shit hasn't noticeably changed since you start doing the show mother letter last year was related but i've got much better with my anxiety like no one can appreciate like tat things and go out is really cool then i'm gonna do this like last year i was just a fuckin wreck i would find i would find injury in the smallest thing that's gonna amateur we're gonna bellyful contest and also what it there's a stick em it's gonna fuckin impel myself on it to good question look out for sticks back thank you everyone was everybody fucking mind break it ignored correct in my body not die depends on a big stick is they're all confidently gonna break it i guess but better you'd be funded in production material
good question plan and the workplace or sticks when it comes to anything dangerous on the other guys like goals unless indeed take chances mother fucker ok nothing wrong with that be aware what you're doing now don't don't be stupid about it take informed chances in this this isn't a lot of fun of a lot of hot issue does it do you do comedy when you're on the road like filming do you like scheduled gigs now and it but if i do comedy other sudden all the other chaos and my all caskets real fuckin mellow how could i can talk and i feel like i'm i'm getting that outlet like ours have i was a little like a month stretch from like alaska at new york dc to indianapolis and then leaving any annapolis redefined cincinnati my wife's like complaining nor about my brain or whatever i'm fuckin has grown man she was like just to get on state
discover the to the funny bonus italian ghetto stage gonna dig agatha is a good idea because it's almost like a form of interests i like this x amount of energy they expand on stage i am i dont like i'd like i i think i one of the things that role of me as i don't listen very well and i talk more that i listened like some people are good listeners i feel like i'm fuckin exporting data will listen you're you're aware that so you you'll be a better listener it's that simple of your aware of one thing that's fucking with you are one thing you know like about how you behave that that's step one that's me more than step one step step one is thinking what's wrong with me step too is like figuring out what it is your step two years you know it is the big but i think what eddie stand up that i start i start listening say i'm done talking certificate done like a long stretch you like i'm fucking do not near myself speak yes
sure i've done talking i just want to talk to discipline myself to listen at tapes when that happens i'm fucking listen the tapes i never listened with tape ever really how do you go over your bits as it's all my hat whoa there do you think that's the best to do it or you just as the best way for you by i notice that the best way to do it because every time i look at a tape i go now and i should like if i could do that different ideas and always works but i'm i hate looking at myself on film just watching and going over it would be like you know what i said to myself but i say you're a professional i'm a professional comedian and my job as a professional comedian is to do it they can and do the best i can have to review tapes i have to actually right i have to teach us on stage one stage and i just another phenomenon talk about go i have to do that go down dark road special exiles commodore i love that places like eighty deep are we going i can just fuck around talk but alien it will come out of that so there's that but you gotta right
the review should arrive at all yet do everything right but i think going through my shirts exhausting lasting but that's part of the job as as i've gone older and as i have done i think when i wouldn't say that i take my stand up more seriously but i think i've gotten better being support about especially like the last battle i did was michael came out less than like a little over a year ago and i've got a completely new our twenty minutes between now and then and it was different to do that i've never done it before i was sort slowly built up an act of the next few years because i kind of had to now but now the way i do it i just cannot like guns bye bye we seek a talk about how it comes up with a new our every year so i i just tried to attack and right as much as possible and in doing
in trying to put together a new our in a year you you have to review material you have to be more disciplined about it you have to be more professional about heaven knows you're new our thematic of who you are right now it's the best i have ever done for sure its most the most silly but i also think that part of the reason is because this podcast like i don't feel like the need to extrapolate or or to expand and on what philosophical ideas or or try to make something find that might not necessarily be fine like i'm really concerned about his being funny as opposed to you know like sometimes bits about something i just wanted to talk about what i have to worry about that now can i just talk about it on the podcast led him into the outlet is better so in a sense i think it's condense my comedy and made it made it much sharper and better made more funny by companies over the photoplay surrender everything's all over the place where is your open air your comedy what is the deal is it any kind of theme are you
just pretty much associate like some guy the fuckin hotel i mean what do you do comedian so what do you do when you're on stage there do you have a theme to your act their fellow what's what kind of company or do i can about your harmony of joe you'd say it's more like a story telling based it's kind of spirits he kind of theory your kind of life in paris iter or used to be more conspiracy but not not really conspiracy we talk him up at the pyramids bogeymen the incidence of conspiracy pyramids noah's ark all that stuff but i didn t do
more of a like like biddy are you more tokyo them straight of storytelling story tat i would say i would say more so my stead of shows more like you're going to watch someone you going i feel like it's it's literally coming to my house and telling stories standing on the ottoman and you're sitting on a couch and unjust medical thousands wannabe at like it's a lot of just kroner action i told you this item of breaking off stage but yeah restrictive stories i've had always had a hard time a cub great story about the first amendment will smith hard time i have a hard time taught tone it because it i feel like it's a fee like its name dropping yeah yeah just a just and yet whenever you you are you running a pill whenever you say oh here's a time i met well smelling get the fuck out of here it is this to hang out with a thank you i think need to work in all you have to have a german fuckin store if you want to bring up the time it was made just to overcome the weight of care
story around but its but it's all story tell him it's at its you know do right do sit down rights of me i can't write a story because it then it loses the story always works the first i'm a total stage and fire ever could have ever videotaped it i'd like ban that's how i felt every time but you gotta almost i m not the way i work is my brain i've got feel beats like feel the beats and where they go and where they drop and where they hit right and then an end if i write it just becomes very long winded the jokes than that that would fit in on stage just offered their there like longer themes so everything you talk about on stage is pretty much stories outside so you'd have literally never sit down with the left laptop and say i'm gonna do the russian mom story than do the russian minorities and almost one for me to tell him stage i've done it i've done did it on you ever done early in the morning in dc did alien morning i told was on his shirt and then everyone becomes shown be like machine machine and then i'd get up at the end of the night in a black fucker gotta tell a story that
seems like a joke show our story rather you can tell instead i want to try to transport working in the shoes but it's also weird like i could do this i fired to define a bare story all stage i do the story of my daughters of my daughters oh yeah you never like say say what if you did especially given do come essential special i've got an hour an hour
when did you do this by eighteen months ago and when you did it did you feel that you have to write on new stuff after dinner but that's but that but i also get i feel like a hack if i tell all jokes i'm sorry i don't like listening i feel like a phoney a lot lot i feel it a phoney only because i don't like i guess what i would ask him to stand up are traded whatever my wife goes nuts about trade whatever brain i have the is the guy that gets a job at dean winter or whatever and has those luncheon stories and tells a story about gulf last week i traded in them for every stories fucking funny every stories funny and like and i dont like i'm i'm fuckin willing to mind anything an end if if it takes it quick like the rush my story
does he shorten a massive chunk of that because the real story is a little depressing the real story gets really depressing so i brought you if you told the people the maid fuckin produced something crazy about you robbing people do you tell the story about you working out the bookstore on june dude you got about one i was thinking about what if they you never masturbated down there are generally there was a guy sign up there's gonna to sound even crazier there's a sign up at that when i was when you go to hidden afraid elevator that said whoever there's prick double doors whoever is urinating on his door post offices on the other side so that goal and wireless authority i bring the freight elevated down here to work out a wonder whose bring it down a peasant these doors and then i started thinking what happens when you pass on these doors like does it it's gonna be a fucking really good pay off for the foot for them for someone really risk it everyone just do it and i was like i should do that i should deftly person the stores and then act biogas caught because they were viewing taped to find out who's does when the doors
and then they saw me working out there like what's gonna be hip isn't it attempts at for both of those yeah without a doubt but you know so funny like now that you this way my brain works a member tell tell me how to joke with time about money and i would ask grown up i tried tagging and money hurts i gotta get my brain all has some a bit on the only birth lives in this neighborhood like some stick tell us like that's a great job and as soon as you said that unlike that's in every fuckin act so now that you say you should tell of working on them in the bonds noble as soon as you said that my brain what is good i never saw this good i never thought you were wondering what that's a classic then i laughed i when you said that you know have cameras failure to that would rush now right but that's women frameworks like i never thought about tell tracing more images like you ve got a fucking total state
haven't you guys resolve that i don't know i think so i mean here's the thing is it if you are starting and tell it i don't wanna tell it on my does do you make him say that its birth chryslers tracy morning fuckin tracy one day that fuckin hand is coming to roost either get mad at you come on he's gonna love you that the first of all he tells crazier stores and that every ten thousand irradiating i absolutely the repository of those so get pregnant slav and establish tracing morgan's one of the most hilarious individuals round but i just don't know so i don't wanna go about it times gonna wanna able to such a funny story contiguity allergies as a comic we just got that is a hilarious didn't we re also though and i too and i think i admit it is today it's better i i enjoy the people coming to me and go ahead the trees moorish or yours as fucking hilarious i enjoy that more than telling it every mental stage and having that to be my closer
every night i was crazy morgana my fucking again why it's a great story i'll let you know story cigarettes the greatest already bought me grand i guarantee you i guarantee you tracy morgan have no problem you time chasing morgan's like joe ideas every now and then jelly ideas get upset you tell the truth about some historic william erika mann but marijuana well how about the apple to think the other data yet you done it but in your pocket i didn't fuck and sharp for that showed at one time but in time i was already bravoes i was at any browser like i like that responses that eddie brows and then went to go see a movie the area anywhere people people quoted on my website i'm gonna lahti dog vegas did you president sweaty was in what did you ever to impress you're really good at doing people think we're line and product right you to browse live here so subtle but it really something break out i can do a few i can do now jars hers you guys do
they were relies on a jew can we do our i have to know i can do people like us do what i do i get you were alex jones i could do him real good day to do get out jugs german black helicopters haven't spotted outside dallas texas right now we're going alive info dot com that went into it these are yellow vast those my two best i can do thyssen does easy towards nigger proposing i can do i can do scotty j from both unites we're bogeyman oh what i've never seen a europe founded on her guest was built seymour helped me ass you member with disease i've only been words do member when everyone saw dark danglars caught for the first time the idea had everyone had their moment bert reynolds color with smoking a cigar unkind of what like this every one kind of like this and this is scotty j this yet he was holding a boom mike and he just went
actually this email that you brought me right back to that maybe you know what i was when i first around ice do impressions but stop doing good value is cheap fellows cheap laughs because i would see guys it would go and staging they would get laughs just with impressions meanwhile there's nothing wrong with dynamite car interesting to see someone do an impression it like gives you like some sort of a charge like why we design just like an object i need for five those my act they address to like sprinkling between some there was such a great lake dc benes to pull out of fuckin here's my impression of a of a talent i doctor what you look at it like i was just like real quick plus like any while i'm intolerable attack that i'm seem like i'm forever placed a party with him and then valium tony words tony woods teddy was like where my best for tony woods fucking hilarious honey was amazing had he's like i mean i think dave chapels very now don't get me wrong but tony woods
like our original day chapelle like very similar style to date and really fuckin fun in about saying that dave stole from david it's like he's he's one of those guys it we ve all known guys like that for whatever reasons like they're really funny but this fuckin doesn't get on the right track in something doesn't happen and people don't know you're really funny you now if you guys like that weird j b smooth smooth second a lot of money now due to strong he's always bad destroy your man i was in numb i did a gig new jersey wants it be smooth and he was late we bought we're late we got lost it was ridiculous directions this is navigation systems located nineteen ninety two one and we're both pretty much scrubbs
and you know we'd both start now and would do in these stupid gigs and i did this college and they were oxide to see me exude done the knacker thing and we cannot say i kill the knack conference like rallies bookings also excited what get there i think i've told the story force only briefly i get there and the opening is not here jamie's was forced to open house was close the olbers on here yet so you and you sit down watch tv ok sit down in their little rec room and watch tv and wants this fucking special on the malibu fires i don't know what year was i'm assuming that ninety three ninety two ninety three and it was devastating these people were crying and there was a kid walking around calling out for his dog and his walking over these burnt down dacians with smoke coming out in their like calling every five seconds mike mikey mikey calling for that whatever the fuck the dogs names guys a fireman and he's crying and he's crying talking about this house is the only thing that really worked his whole life to build this fucking house well
hasn't come so we're just gonna throw you up is that ok yeah ok i didn't know back then like theirs i add a learn a bunch times that you have to get yourself into state of mind on stage that you can't just just try to perform you know you you have to put your mind you know when you're twenty one unknown or whatever the fucker was no one's telling you what to do you can kind of develop like like really loose habits when i come to your you stand up so i went up their dude and you know i didn't know how to start to show off i didn't expect to be starting to show up so i didn't prepare for that are prepared to be following a guess what inhabiting they didn't you know when you start to show off from scratch you got a set of everybody and you got a common way down get control the room then start which shows in open strong open strong so that they think it's worth following you in paying attention i did neither of these things all i did was goin stage and think about these poor fuckin people lost their houses and fire so then
for whatever reason a joke bombs right and then i just say i shouldn't watch i fuckin shot sorry this what i did i read before i went on stage i watch this documentary about all these people a malibu who lost their houses to fires and ongoing fucking depressed in other words like two hundred kids why are you why telling us this are you fucking chameleon would many of those terrible and then davy smooth finally showed up so he goes on after i dig for half an hour he goes up and just it was eggs what they want he was silly and high energy and in our just pick at the bower i left it in a pilot dog shit and just ran with
these and other guides like what wise guy not giant fuckin huge star tony was probably problematic and you ve never seemed to stand up and he used to go on and purposely literally not speak for the first two minutes at last tony words would not speak really i just get himself organise real slow delivery and then he'd say so like i know you think in a joke or be good right about now but a black metal latin just when i get to work doesn't mean asked our work and i gotta watch
around for fifteen minutes see who did girl he was so fuck him he was like myself master when i started comedy like just really fuckin like just off like i tell a story like their stories good until story one night about functional grown await stuff that web were to boston calmly club and alas like two seconds and she really fuckin pests started yelling at me after i was and i don't give a shit fuck him drunken where monitoring those listen you can't do that she also them instead i can't do this it is she was like fuck you fuck you you better go online learner rita manual too had a box of body and i was like as i know i don't care i got i thought you i win it she was like and then i go and you get out here you gonna brooklyn and so she was like mother fucker and they got all dress got maduro storms totally megan without a beer my hand she's at my door and she was like she's like i swear to god and then looked at me and what like that and i went
we both started laughing i slammed the door and it's you panama every door my building going bark riser camp fire is true is issues area that's all i get done i tell us stage in the night of twenty one goes right number one don't ever tell this story ever again why that i got why not because no one wants to hear that shit all right let's leave teddy was just like the best to be around why these wrong i wanna hear story all die not another he's looking dc like him i got into why would he why would seem not to tell a story because you don't even know you can fuck that's a black white thing black eyes no one of them how bad they are embed the others a lot of things are different member wounded a show with donna rawlins and red grant with two black comics
like a man you never wrote train or nobody and i've never had a drain on anybody the like tall man there must be a hood love like what you guys like like fuckin girl the same time and again by the town everyone retraining of evil as i have never was read a train i go that's kind of gay and acknowledge that gate all i got really gay like a budget guidelines play a leaky submarine with some girl is this a bad butter and but another thing the brenner dad's has not undo it brothers that's his freaks serious one thing i would while black men i guarantee to the trend topic who when train if you'd people run trains and all races really to have your rendering listen we're on the progress it has on the internet right now i ve got time they live in other words i would like to have it you can you guess i'll leave you believe that sex with really of eight eight
doing well no i was seven more than expected i figured after that wages just called it quits but i remembered you had a daughter i don't know but i stopped counting when you're here can your on the road things get squirrely new single man you do whatever you want to get squirrely how many comics you know that would literally debts of what they were looking for more than even doing comedy did want to get laid after shows how everything what we know a lot of guys i know guise of damage careers because they don't write didn't do anything i'll deduce trotting opposite onstage and kill and hope they meet a girl after the show that was that much i e that was aware i i wrap maharajah store really i thought stores all like fuckin a mad sebastian steve brat i thought my gun i thought they all just what up murdered to suffolk and then as i think that is that do think that that's like
that is a valid thought urge that just weird paranoid some valid on separate tour with those guys about from areas like like i was doing more time like what the fuck are you doing like us we re doing like twenty minutes allows do thirty what you do with thirty four let's get out here that's gonna bar you can get aren't fucking tellingly word a party got married i gotta do time that's funny you're gonna do extra stand when they want to get off quicker so that whether worried about see if there's mike young brent ernst an errand was educated all in one room and then you know you you want to be the first guy off stage because we want to be the one to attack quick you know one of the air in my country taken into the bathroom can be careful fuck em like young make young my arm like those middle name is it mike is known anymore so it should be like crazy meant to
doesn't get that panther banker cancer in his family rights by cancer brain cancer pancreatic seed till you ve ever eat with him maybe with em what does he do just eat very healthy we went to hooters one day and you have to compress them and a bowl of lettuce and as i want music manage to keep my healthy much it clean cancer resume a family creeps up new die while that's group like he does beer solutions to killer tequila us healthy that's for fuck is that it is a start smoking cigarettes again what yet what does he do our scientists and you'll get eaten just start it's been going on for a while and smoking one of the airport deal the eastern germany while he was telling me that only smokes him before shows us some smoking what the airport is on hold still ideas in it don't talk like that when when he dies though we know no record of him who where are your funeral no one no one now let me on fire who gives a very serious issue
stupid is unaware of much able stand around crime because i'm gone i gotta go into them i gave you know as i said last year s brains i die again is being my friends were friends die i you know i mourn them in my own mind and you think about them but not to breathe but somewhat monday start smoking as i said the other day what a singularly over the fuck's gonna let you know i found out brian did you tell me or did already tell me are you told me joys sides morgan i go do we just smart in that we use non smoking to those of other stuff you are either and that we were working breyer then i will not say gently smoking a cigarette with you i order you don't just give the fuckin party started does give the blood problem and obscene web what stage i got you smoke cigarettes you now now ratify go up my before gub scale of taste get a low fuckin makes me crazy may we not one about the angle fucking nuts on his mother
it's been awhile i actually i've known about it for maybe year this terry still smelters is grossly i don't think he does but she did last time i saw she did last time you saw which is no longer why go the drunk ass did you see drunk ass i do my people dabble in cigarettes man you know scary thank joe we had armies pike ass yesterday desk wide we had magdalen mac linsey and he was these are not a huge unified my how you you know grew up being at a huge drug attic homer you know my head and he did like a dog stand hope show while he was on math and then i dug like we're talking over five years and it remains pretty interesting interview but the one thing he says i guess everything else i haven't touch anything for five years in anything but fuckin cigarettes i can't fucking do it is like i've tried so many times ease like its impact what is it now it's amazing how emmi math
when you know that's why i'm like looking to joe and unlike what makes you think you have a real hard time for years he would tell me tore open the stars fuckin thing i have adequate those cigarettes something in them the getting your bones somberly again your fuckin sweat your blood they get a man you can't get em out your rogan it can get em up now i see it i see somewhat smuggle it makes me sick makes me sick to wisdom i can't believe i ever did that so to see him smoky again after all that saving even though you say that in which is what i would say with two when i quit here it's so yeah yeah it's in the back your head though every me smell it or see a cigarette you still think i still think i haven't spoken in i would smote him oh well over twenty year what does it make you feel like what what what happens when it's what what what is it really is what it what is the feeling like because no one c went one papa you sit back and watch what you feel it hit you it's instead it changes your outlook it gives you an altered perceptions like it changes your balmy makes more sensitive i see people
morgan cigarettes and unlike you still the same guy he's never laughing and relax as you have done relaxes do not go for a long time now for some reason the algae tobacco cause like that i could imagine doing this what we're doing right now that a diplomat reeling i could imagine i could not imagine if you if you someone would come in to like our lounge and opportunity here or in my apartment and we like do you never gonna believe what happened secondly we get a dip because a good story was like you have to have a dense forest all men south south cameos addicted cigars holy shit that guises how many do smoke days ago all day all day looks and when there are like just about the lobby and the girls and gives them a moment ago by a more is he's does inhaled now you don't hail also got us he will do really that's usually see another night isn't cigars gale them most people their dignity cigars like i said regarding i ill so if i have one it's gonna be because my dad's in town or someone says hey would anyone like a cigar like i don't do you
come with me man i gotta membership at the grand havana room i gotta humidor up there and everything serious you journals works of art i do i do with me my friend matt we go there every now and then we little but buddies names on a black together we share a box a bunch of keys also ours is not yet still feels yeah you sit down and filling a fat cap knows that these assholes but what s really interesting is how many like celebrities go there see like look it's david crusoe who look a million years old by the way disliking while that was the guy that's the guy from nypd blue nano is like become this way sort of a caricature with sunglasses csi miami those show manually one of those shows man you want to talk about a life changing thing that's your new life pal your new your new life it revolves around the show that you're doing because you're going to film it most of the year and you get a film that most of the day most of the week almost the entire week you're going to be spent filming five six days a week twelve hour days sometimes more depending on what shots you need to get done those those fucking show
our berulle all i've had a bunch offers i met a few things come my way where it you know they wanted to meet me for something like them like what is it single we're dramas stop stop talking stop talking now don't you don't seem like a five year plan more time goes on man the more i am just enjoying doing comedy doing the podcast and you and you have said and i wish the you see i like to do less are those i love doing it but something i travelled to just a bit too much loved it if was like in a way of sunlight vanity but sometimes it's hard but when i'm there i never wish i was anywhere else it's warm enjoying everything i do some very careful now to make sure that i don't take on anything else that i don't enjoy because right now my life is like a low masterpiece like i've got it set up so unlike when i'm in enjoying everything i'm doing i have the greatest group of friends in an appeal it is this podcast you know and now because this podcast the people to come senior the shells are different it's like now they're all power
yes fans and they really know where the fuck i'm coming from the world we're we're all come from brian fuckin huge rounds of applause me goes on stage now brian d like five minutes and important its huge rounds report does to huge you draw applause in seattle roads the puff daddy podcast berwin brown but it's you know it's all good stuff it's not what i was doing fear factor was like it great job it was you know it paid ridiculous money and was really easy was three days a week but during three days i would wish i was doing something else and i did it happily because it was a lot of money but this for a time when i'm doing a park ass some of them do not stand up never timing to do in the usa where go while i wish i was doing something else every time as you have seen unlike forget he will go out of the bomb the sound comes on the lights dim first fight starts my bow punch knuckles on my colbert here we go every time man i'm like a little kid i love it does never time i like senor watch and fights never now understand up reform gonna go on stage there's no
a time unlike fought for can't we understand up never never now how how much how much does money incorporate into any decision making well either have ass to you now but luckily i make good money from you have c and i'm a good money from stand up so it doesn't have to it's like long as those things are covered then i have to think about its when they're not covered then become an issue what i saw what a guy like say one hour started doing fear factor i was not making really good money we stand up i was doing news radio this income can you tell me what you're making a stand up back them few grant a week a couple grand couple grand too twenty five hundred maybe on a good week but i was doing like thursday through sunday you know maybe news radioset until it was little more than that towards the end because it was ninety nine i put out my c d that that definitely helped and i was getting paid better and clubs and it was someplace work it sell out and when it but there is inconsistent far between so when something like fear factor came out those like well over the years
a good chance to make really good money out and when you say it twenty five hundred megawatt that's a lot of money but then you know take away agents fees manage freedom andrews fees and also business manager and consider your lattimer inside eric and terrorism is radio yasser you're i can tell exactly what you walk away with twenty five hundred yeah that was my yeah you walk away with thirty cents on the dollar thirty five cents on the dollar that's ridiculous but that's it when i see you have to make good money to stay ahead of the curve if you want to be able to relax you have given the banks will you not worry if something happens here you know it you want mean fine it's your freedom the real financial freedom is not it's not the freedom to italy to buy he's an old things the real financial freedom is to not worry about money that's that's the number one thing gaze of a place we feed yourself and in an and be able branco this to me once and i really took at the heart and he goes i is being rich i'd like to be achieved but i don't want to do i wanna be laguna nice restaurant whenever i want
nice restaurant like that so truly be able to eat at a nice place and never go well how much is at stake twenty eight how much is the fish twenty four you know that feeling which leave alone in this you know i mean i i clearly remember thinking like that you know that's that's real financial freedom we now have to think about so the way i've got everything set up man it's like i'm in a real good spot right now so i got to be real careful about taking on any other things i got talked about pitching the show right now it's sort of a basin so the idea came upon the podcast but really the more i'm thinking about it the more rather just put cameras on the parker that's what millions vessels like them was ideal things were pretty much doing it already might as well do it
i do not know if it s in your career i would say this is probably the most and this is this is just as a person whose whose obviously benefit a fan of yours and active of friend somewhat but this applied mushrooms entered a view and this is this is your this is the one thing that i think when you pass people go to his pockets was fucking act that was before people were really they do at home and it was just was breaking ground of universality and it was his it's your personality was amateur personality but it also has to be delivered in a one to set there is it pay off at every moment you stand up so you will come eyes despite how much people argue this you will compromise your voice for a joke yet a lot of hot yes it's different and i don't feel like i have to get my voice out anymore and i used to feel like there are certain things and i wanted to say on stage that maybe i couldn't say because it couldn't condensing into joke form i don't feel like than anyone
you know there's a lot of stuff that i have is a lot of weird thoughts that i have that have express on the podcast and explore that you know in depth and almost have no payoff as far as humor you know like them the about the whole universe being some complex mathematical problem every little thing that goes on is just a part of some giant fuck and algorithms southern i've been dwelling on for a long long time there's nothing humorous in that we discuss it on the planned cast a bunch times i totally believer in parallel states their work untollable euthanasia i believe that you ever think yourself like kipling so alive no riot does his brain aid onions this morning it was hard almost four are about asia brian has its super hot girl to guinea told the story you tellin me right before you start the show about her ways you are sir others are ridiculous motherfuckers first of all this grows dating ten ok ten
i not ten phase but six personality not ten phase but a five body she's a fuckin ten she's ten layton i dunno it's legit ten fuckin i don't i don't use ella tens are used tents does don't judge anybody in any other way does is it straight across the board no no doubt this entire deaf sacks what's wrong with that now tell me what you did went down on her getting she had orgasms and our like i'm good going to bed do you need to go to a doctor you need to get some get your fuckin blood worked finally you need nice in a new diet and my wife operates squats my life to say or a day we had sex with this is my wife would hate that i'm talkin their stolen unaware of biogas now i've configure faculty peter it's broken i dont want isn't always breaking i touch it so he says we have my whole thing is
oral first and then we'll do tutsis and so we had or as maximum she said i said our eye she goes well what about just me does member like it so often it's just you what am i link just get had all time don't know i'm just too scorn and anguish ladylike sorry really data you take your differently i you know i enjoy eating perceived by many times a tiny even if i'm not horny and their horny outdo are totally take her you don't get how anyone should really push you know i mean why it's pretty that's i saying like i was you and i'll just two and spit on the floor i'm going to fuck it swallowed right i'd say i've gotta go bilbil your rss feed saying this might every time last night i was so fucking navigable i've never been too tired to fuck you ever been to try to drink and tutor i woke up and took care of her but brian did you you were not
aroused at all i want you members of sleep last night i seriously with so fucking bay actually i take it that i know why i did it of being so tired i spoke and stuff out of my mind make like these huge garlic stakes and best wasn't so as more just kind of like you know why i just not the system is just crawled down to a halt care you know where you're going take a nap you don't have to big nobody she wants a box eaten and she's a ten mile falls asleep i may be could be elected she'll eyes i think i could maybe my setting out if i'd taken in ambient it had one of those sleepwalking episodes among us that you will come the moonlight name i put you don't member that like almost been the area but i can't imagine just doing sober do you ever worry do you ever worry that she's going to think that you're not attracted to her if you don't i don't fuck her when now because i wish we were house right now i can just go grandma trash can we normally fuck like lions times a day so have you trash can
what are you rather have your trash kind of cod jesus christ the national average is six times more i know that's what my normal averages to below the average fucking paraplegia she's wanted at the very least because one of those growth in gdp touch her any arms because i know that it says this fucking actually get a day why do i find listening you fuck talks so distasteful something about just like going like this with my mouth is girls are always gave your hand when you're just in the middle conversation she has put her hand interposing just like juice or one of those we have those that exist in my world they know never never never how they want to know you have a very small like test group working people i'm target out of i have tried to learn how rice krispies sell only this one city did you say your show is targeted like that whole network is targeted towards women towards women yes network it doesn't matter
which by the way one of my favorite shows it to two of my favorite shows anthony bourdain's no reservations are fucking love i show the great show and made it really recommended some great restaurants to me because of that show i found out about a great seafood place i remember the name in austin it would be great if we could pull the name on a mass but is a fantastic see place in austin i found out about i found out about places in allay found out of place and there lay a mexican jointed serves goats ok dave giant fuckin like like sides of next sawing it would ban saw on cooking it altogether they could like hundreds of pounds a goat every day the amazing i found out about a bunch greatly and then also that stephen i will show you said did not get such good ratings up maybe we shouldn't be too i know they might be done do amazing thing i'll bring it back you think really matter on i'm speculating on the fact why have i dont think i'd have not good fuckin shows us that it was a good show that but you know here's the thing is that you know for a first
show you keep coming up at a home run minute the others because it's you know people get justice excited about new projects as they do success but they don't get excited for shows it did pretty good will also when you dealing with a women base network man is gonna be hard to promote a show about hunting i think all i think all networks others i mean almost all networks really target women now that's no not at all now lonesome i ain't got no no eighteen thirty four males eighteen thirty four meals are worth the monies that's what they always targeted the media are demographic off i could swear money that was far as i mean who obviously can we go on monday of europa but as far as like you know the the people spend the most its eighteen thirty four year old males that's the eighteen forty nine occasionally depending on how far they wanted demographic but i believe three to pursue abandoned unravel and food network and there's a couple of those that are due and i could see that totally alien aimed solely at work and anthony boarding
anthony bourdain shows very male centric i would thank you know the way to discuss things and talks about things and drinks a lot and he's a fun fuck and show you have it i think i think even like adam regiments vote shows very women love it but women like an ethic women will watch a guy they they they wanna connect with connect with reich you know that's why i think was a big fear of my show is that i'm kind of a media framework for a fourth brought up frat boy right so like the who must watch it scream all over the world and jump in that they underestimate eu charm exactly that's voices but little step but now that but are shows good in itself for me this anna bridgman guy this man versus food he got so fucking fat that he doesn't even do the challenges anymore i never said that joe kate and say that no i did what i heard on the internet i wasn't i'm sorry wasn't it
what i read in the internet was that this guy got so fucking fat that he doesn't do the challenges anymore than a true know he'd know he's not doing the challenges anymore let us work is that he's oh i think that's the whole show her the gig i found i think you'd just fucked his body up well but it is just a burial it was the reason why said this as there is a threat about it on my message board is a long time ago before even talked anybody about it and it showed a picture of him from season want what season is now season for poor fuck it he's but he's his body just eighteen oh he does all the cleansers in terms it is even still always just i programme its authority pound cheeseburgers can't do that show you can't do that show for six years and for twenty seasons so they had a kind of change and i think to make it more of a sustainable show for if so could carry on that long it's an outcome member stewed nation and they're doing it where he brings in like did the nasty boys in tampa were the
i'm invests deftly should be talking about a show our emotions but is don't sock about birth the mother fucking conqueror that's how these bitches when they can watch it when is it on sunday night at eight o clock on the night of the clock i will now set my dv are bird is a fucking heroes one of my favorite human beings on the planet is the matter are you you're a fucking near an awesome dude man you got a great laugh yoda gray personnel your stories of shit pretty liese tell that fuckin barnes noble story on stage is going to be a crusher dude it's in you can do their russian went to birth crusher if you want to fall back on twitter you can follow him it is b e r t k r e i s c h oh that's a complicated document change i am sure is cool or somebody out when you change your handle bird is does share for the idea i used to be joe rogan dot net used to be deity any tee but it was so long was impossible to retweet me i guess
using funding like you would have to like chop it all out because it was too many words if i try to use like eyes think like that twitter you can read tweet something in it just a retreat in its entirety as i say as a separate hundred forty characters but are used be that as it used to be that when you retweeted something you had to account for all the key actors inside their name anymore now you have no anymore and on twitter you just hit retweeting they can just take care of it the way it is so i anyway and some dude had joe rogan here it will catch in mind to just make sure it's something that you memorable nita have to do your last name like bert k or about bert likes to fuck yes monsieur tell you i've about design nonchalant we i've changed my twitter name too bright lights and for what what the fuck do i just liked general just like it and i don't like it with the optimist
greatest in europe your fans are ridiculous on twitter i one last time i did this show i got like three thousand ban really what we want to get three thousand more today and we know at any time i told you tell me ever ever show please let me know and i tweeted and will but upon the forecast of others so we want a flashlight i got one way a serious so awkward to buy one quote united to bow and i'll give you a frequent joe use that last night and use our avenues any the ones that are later on him if you go to jail rogan that net and click the link you wanna thank first of all thank the flesh life would be in our sponsor it's cool company and you know it's embarrassing for a lot of people and announced become ten awesome i act right now i did a joke wrong i met a joke you that ale stage i don't remember the reference i don't know how it came out but i made a joke about a flashlight and said ass again and just type in the promo code rogan endemically what fucking because they're are no i but it was an urban area is a promo rogan and they thought
raise actual there will you said you had a lot of people come up do you know i have more people come up to me from your show than my tv show while that is i mean it's a love it because it's yours you're coming events like should have calmly fence don't fuckin hackle they don't don't like drink too much and get fucking kicked out there just good like just random random i told you a government she tv listen to this what are they heads of directors of hdtv was i i urge the rather paca railway detaining hd at home in granada you don't do that makes sense because that's like the fight network and they were like straight up like i was a shudder that's ensemble high to her pay listened with the best thing about this by gas is that we we develop like a real connection with all these people and it's like you know what we'll tell me israel's is like you're hanging out with us i mean do the best estimates they show and i swear on my children what road are put on the progress and put it on low independent ex means philip godless inference talk neither put to sleep and enough go
then at below times what had stopped without we begin weird i get due to a new one consolidate listened all fuckin thing around the old reruns and it needs to be ari like some sort of your friend energy they just very like him and i assume that you set your area but the one where you guys had the blackout yet still i listen that a million times because i love listening to love ass its out half way through the who is completely joe we got so tired keziah cookie any smoke joint any hit the hid the bag the vaporize bag to he gets so he got he goes downward spiral joe is the reason why five different indicates a tv us relax i know smoke into guess i'd really didn't realize that this is so much of a difference until i smoke joey's we'd me brian and duncan were hanging out in houston texas we're in the law the hotel and we we're just sitting there slack jawed and no one was moving now
going anywhere else like what the fuck is wrong with us and then i think was document realized right because i think we just smoke joey's really what have we done because it's like i just like to get blasted dog don't give a fuck i owed cause what they got their third i train wreck come when it bitches come with it he'll just whatever the fuck you got man who smoke it but he used to be on it doesn't do it anymore now he likes hybrids which are good because hybrids again you like hetty thing but it also relax you good for common have what i when i found it whenever i get the chance of a regular life maybe i'll take of weeds bogeyman like into a nome forget all over the place could do going we're gonna get out and isolation tank we're gonna get you some exercise videos to follow we are going to rebuild bert crusher thanking too a slight fer a sponsor our show if you go to jail rogan dot net in the code name rogan you get fifteen percent off folks who are
interested in coming to see me in toronto there are very few tickets laughter almost out and the only can get him now ticket heart ticketmaster sold out but if you go to my twitter theirs link for the massey hall is where i'm playing and they have they have tickets available on their website but that's it and i can't fucking way it's going to be awesome i can't wait to go to thank you everybody that came to portland port the shit what am i knew returns why does everyone fucking mrs peel ever nice people everybody with super cool and luggage never been handed more we'd ever in my life after shows was renewed ethel bad i'll kick your weed i can't take this as a dove too much i can bring it home with me fill you fill is also doubt i believe we put in the second shall thursday night and that be the only thing that's that there's tickets laughed so that's helium and fifty which is next weekend and that's with joey and are you it's the full death squad pitches brine would double
kills having a birthday and yes to either box well so so that's it forks and we'll see you thursday and friday is going to be kevin from attack at a show really special jasper on friday the guy on and on its samara prayer prayer had its proponents last named cabin promote awareness that guy's very cool magnano many times and i never forget swill figured out at the bottom of this not to be friday three in somebody else on thursday not sure maybe stephen zizi these home i'll write bitches you know i love you thank you very much for tuning and thank you very much for coming out all the shows and for everything you do and for being a part of this fuckin crazy experience world gone through together burke register thank bert prijedor brother you subscribe death squad watch my
the sunday watts per crazy so please
Transcript generated on 2020-03-22.