In the first of a two part series, we cover the early life and early murders of Robert "Bad Bob" Hansen, the nerdy baker who supposedly hunted down kidnapped women for sport in the Alaskan wilderness in the early eighties. Decisions Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Octoblues Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.o
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
There's no place to escape to. This. Is the last time
Did you guys wake up today,
just so sad that you'll never kiss Stephen Hawkings on his tiny lips yeah. That was sad. That's what I thought. The one that got away he's got us still got my like a Pomeranian. He was so smart today, he's so small as it was like the Norberta scientists. Honestly, one of the tuna
tuna melt, my heart and Norbert my two favorite dogs. I love Doug to plug yeah come on, but he managed to cheat on his wife using nothing but the weird nubbin that he must have had left or just rubbing his knees against her vagina or something in a wheelchair. That is the greatest encouragement ever for a child to get into science get into science, and you can find love too
in the last podcast on the left. I am Ben Kissel, I'm staring at Marcus Parks, beautiful teeth, thank you and we got
in the morning Henry Zebrowski Browser know: you're devastated,
I shaved my pubic hair in morning, just so that my top of my penis would be completely bald for God to see. I hide nothing strange tradition. It is it your sadness. Alright, alright, well speak
of uh, I guess speaking of pubic hair. Thank you. You're gonna want it. If you live in Alaska Cold, alright, we're going to talk about the story today. Uh takes place at Alaska. It's about this dude Robert Hanssen junk
should I played him in the movie the frozen ground. He was too handsome for a role for the first time ever, keep does a very good understated job and so does Nick cage very understood.
To the point where it's like, he wasn't even trying. It is an hour and forty five minutes and only boil down to
seventeen minute film, almost like they were just there to collect a paycheck
let's set the scene here right,
Anchorage Ak June 13th, one thousand nine hundred and eighty three.
Bald eagle. Evidently in the sky,
woman named Cindy Paulson handcuffed and terrified flags,
the truck driving past a used car lot in the middle of the night
hotels, the truck driver she just escape from a pilot at Meryl Field, who is in the process of forcing her to board his Piper CUB light aircraft. The pilots plan had been
take her out into the wilderness, set her loose and huh.
Down like an animal and she believed him because she'd seen his house, the basement was filled.
Hunting trophies bearskin, rugs, rug, heights, goat heads and stuffed ducks. It was obvious
this man knew how to hunt and knew how to kill. I better detective for thirty years and I'll tell you one thing: if I see a stuffed duck, I know
guilty, and it was obvious this man had done it to a woman before imagine
type of men. Who would do such a thing? Imagine what
sort of monster a person, would have to be to hunt down a woman in cold blood
now? Imagine that guy is Elmer Fudd and that's Robert Hand,
a very, very quiet. I'm hunting waiting for you, too
and there I say ducks. I actually blame what was the name of the famous rabbit.
There are bugs bunny, you forgot bugs Bunny's. Now it's really hard, you have a blood clot. Is it moving up to her neck? He would dress like a lady. Sometimes maybe that put the thought in elmers said sure Shane just because he changes in women's clothes. That is an excuse for him to be haunted down by a man with a speech impediment, ported, Elmer Fudd, bugs all over the place. No flip flops blamed looney tunes for a serial killer, hey man, what you
put into your mind you
Robert Hanssen aka, the Bush
Baker was an acne scarred warp covered serial killer with a speech impediment and a weird dick who killed at least seventeen women in Anchorage AK from nineteen eighty to one thousand nine hundred and eighty three, mostly by rifle now one
able to say immediately about Robert Hanssen. Is that no one is really properly touched. The story of this guy I mean there's been a movie frozen ground id
almost done several specials on Robert Hanssen, which is kind of why we decided to start today's tone with
a true crime voice, they are because does so well. Thank you because you're born to do this is how you'll and your life is working for the id channel up. But
and at least in gun to his temple in the mirror, says. I think today's the day, a stuffed duck tells him to pull the trigger catalina just knocking on the door Marcus. Why are you narrating alone? I told you to stop it ends in your suicide.
This is that I think the stories got a lot to do with on the reason why it's covered by id Channel and like the oxygen network specifically isba cause it's really great. At scaring women an it fits with the true crime worlds, fascination with killing sex workers, but no one ever actually tells the real story here, which is the story of a fucking Incel gone wild.
No well most of our gun. Toting serial killers tend to spend relatively little time choosing their weapons. Bob Hanson
the gun, nerd, placing him among the most insufferable nerds. We have to deal with here in America. Oh my god, a you know: a r stands for Armalite. I just want it. Some people say it stands for us all right. Well, it sounds it's Armalite sounds like a jelly spread. Also, I always get scared of Colin Gun nerds, because we know that they are that they have the guns
Hanson's weapon of choice was a Ruger mini fourteen rifle which to me constantly, I watched a bunch of Youtube clips like a bunch of Youtube reviews. It kind of
like the hipster choice over an Ar15. Ok, like the cool kids, like you know, you do they are fifteen,
classic mini fourteen and here's
example, of one of my gun, ammo magazine my family. Why do you keep your gun and ammo magazine sort of pointing
you're Playboy here
is an example of one of today's gun nerds having a conversation with himself on Youtube about the Mini fourteen
come back to gunshot tv, and today I was going to talk about
the Ruger mini fourteen I'm not.
A huge AR fan, not that the air is a bad system. It just for some reason, visually didn't appeal to me:
so I did want to gun that would shoot two hundred and twenty three or five hundred and fifty six, because that is the cheapest centerfire rifle cartridge, you're really going to get. So
After much looking around, I found a pretty good deal on a new
inbox stainless and anwood, which is
color combo that I wanted
Ruger Mini fourteen, also you're, not on gun and shot tv you're on the internet
and now, if you excuse me,
they have my super beets, because Dana Loesch she's, a babe she told me to have super beets- are uh
Hanson described as dippy an crater faced with overlapping front teeth and thick horn, rimmed glasses was described by even women who survived him. As looking like a nerd straight out of central casting yeah, I mean you're sitting there and laughing because he comes up to you and he's like hey girls, saying it's truly. I just poking his pen
These are just under his nipples shirt, tucked in bucking pockmarked face huge coke bottle, glasses and you're like get outta here, nerd and all of a sudden is which seems to be the unifying hardening sound of nerds everywhere, because that gun cocking back and a gun nerds were specifically talking about not people who go to com
we love or crime cuts. Now
speaking of that. You know like
Robert Hanssen. Cmos modes of speech were nerdy, but not like a smart nerdy or even like a reference heavy nerdy kind of way. Hence
and was what you would call a dull nerd. Possibly
The worst kind like,
use phrases like Gee, whiz and my gosh and dad got it even when he was talking about killing women. It makes it worse, yeah it may
it's worse, because you can't talk at you can't talk like the Beav and then all of a sudden you've got a chain. You have a specific chain loop in your ceiling, that's built for hanging women up by it like there's something about it. That's his weird dull, dull, like isekai like Gary, which way I imagine when you're looking at him, trying to like plead for their life and he's just like why
is my meat talking and like that kind of weird Tina
glowing over their face where you just like. Oh now, that dude is
gone whatever animals inside is taken over now, although Hanson was known for his donuts back in the 70s and 80s. Today
Answer is mostly known for his imitation of the Richard Connell Short story, the most dangerous game originally published as the hounds of Zaroff and later adapted into the pest starring. John Leguizamo. Oh my god. It is the plot of the past. That really makes me so upset. 'cause everything go back to the past.
original story. The titular generals are off
deranged, russian aristocrat use
the shipwrecked big game Hunter named singer Raynesford as prey turning the hunter.
Into the hunted. Oh my now, it's not known if Hanson ever read the story.
Although it's not really that likely, because Hanson's IQ was somewhere in the Gary Ridgway Dullard area, but he was very organized and it
It also shows that the power of being very organized and what it can do for you, which is that if you never fail- and you think about every single detail- that's how we covered his tracks besides shoddy police work,
he covered his tracks pretty well Becaus. He was such a fucking insufferable nerd about every single fucking thing that he did so he any capitalists in maps, and he would then check list all his bullshit but
either way, whether you read it or not. Hanson's eventual mo was eerily similar to this is
our generals General Zaroff, the prey he hunted before Sanger Rainsford came along as it
quoted in Manhunter by John Douglas. I hope this gloom of the earth so from Trump Sheep's Retour Aux
horse or home is worth more than a score of them. General
Zargo Zarok Tesoro. Did his son go on to be what was it Zenga Zenga? I'm sorry certain that then gives last names are off so Dang gives are often that's. This is Canon. This is a part of the street fighter lowers the part of the extended universe, but also
differences is that journals all Ralph was fighting
in sailor. Man, not
scared women in the dark part. He
a lot, much the same way about his victims, replacing sailors with topless dancer,
in a classic Madonna whore, complex switcheroo women to him
or either goddesses to be protected and cherished or filthy creatures that needed to be punished
also like in modern times. You know we already mentioned a little bit like Robert Hanssen. He wouldn't be out of place on some of the darker in cell subreddits. You know these guys in the cell. Involuntary celibacy is that was what they called all health. All
themselves in cellular called big, probably call themselves in cells. They say they are involuntarily. Celibate celibate.
That they will never find a woman. They will never get laden. Of course, none of it is their fault
They were the two gentleman there too much like gentleman in eat. Like the Supreme Gentlemen, it's even gone further than that, like they they canonize Elliot Rodger like he is. It did a canonized him he's a he's like their hero in these guys go even further than the whole like nice guy thing, the nice guy things a part of it, but these Insel guys it take it to the next step. I heard like they blame the rest of the world for not unconditionally accepting all of their
numerous faults and you know they.
Will do just pretty much hand them a supermodel just because they exist, because their men
Robert Hanssen these days, what
it's been one of those guys that I will say yeah, there's a lot of costs that come in with dating a supermodel. I mean. First of all, you have to have several different outfits for just the different photo shoots that she's involved with casually like you can just wear the same shirt because,
and she doesn't get the same kind of money
if you see an out like you, have to you're talking like door bills,
the Chicago at the at the at the viper room. I don't even know if people even still go to these places, so I don't know. I don't know if supermodels go to that yeah, the viper room is probably just it's probably just Nikki.
And those points bartending and being the number one customer models go? I am not uh, we don't know, we don't know. Of course we go wherever they go, but I know there's a door cover and a supermodel doesn't have to pay it, but you as
in cell will definitely have to pay a probably twice who's going to look you up and down and double charge you so you have to understand
have to have some kind of steady job. I don't think we've ever stumbled upon a subject that we know less about the life of a super moon. No clue!
list all of Hanson's. Victims were exotic dancers at Strip clubs in Anchorage places like the kit, Kat Club, the wild cherry and the gentleman's retreat, not to mention the great alaskan Bush company, which is why
outlawed polish funerals in Alaska. What's a polish funeral
to shave, your pube's for my intro, where I had to shave my pubic then morning, and then you could kiss Almeida pubic area. Also,
yep, the alaskan Bush company, there's a dog he'll. Never,
I don't know it's a Bush beans, joke, don't know really it's one thousand two hundred and thirty pm. When you put the pm in there or not according to the twelve bloodlines, then it's always early morning, you always say I've never drunk of bud light. I know for a fucking fact that you had today I've seen you drink, drink, a bud, lime on the road. If it was if it was free, that's a different story. I think we were at a bar in DC drink above line yeah. It's like you, take the tropics with you, like. You were saying something like that. Like five people that weren't listening what's new
Robert Hanssen was so
detach from these women is humans that, in his confession, he nonchalantly referred to his serial killing. As quote a so
time project what
which shows how little he thought of it, and also again about his extended game to me
Robert Hanssen is very similar to a Jerry Brudos were actual apart. Apart of his pathology was have
family and kids, and a career was like a part of his when he get pleasure out of '
was seeing like look, how I can hold all of this other shit together and also be a fucking maniacal super villain on the other side which is
What how most incels view their entire life and with that
let's get into the life of a Robert Hanssen
Robert Hanssen was born February 15th, one thousand nine hundred and thirty nine to a frail woman named Edna and a severe danish man named Christian now. Azeri danish name varied
christian. Is there so it started to technically. No real danish team is like Dirk Biotic, no HANS Christian Andersen. He wasn't authoor wow in the danish one at that I added Danish was he did you know that you're my mother wanted very into it? No I'm, not cheating! You look this up before the podcast, so you could pretend to know something about Denmark. I know a lot about Denmark's in a whole series of other kind of marks.
Now we all know with serial killers. It's either the mother or the father. Who does the number and in this case,
Who is most definitely the Father Rob
Hanson was a constant disappointment to his dad, even as far down as to what Hand Robert wrote, with
as was the style at the time Christian.
Voiced his son to write with his right hand instead of his dominant left and this forced switch,
scrambled Roberts, brain and saddled him with a debilitating stutter that we would carry for the rest of his life
and it's interesting 'cause. There are a lot of people that were forced to do that. My mom was beaten, pretty severely in catholic school to switch from left to right on it
MR whole life. I don't know if that's why we are all the way we are all right. It goes down the line. I don't think so. I hope not. I I mean it's, I or explanation, I'm looking for somebody to tell me something because everyone I yell at it's got no answers. You are
vapor him. I think he was already on the way and I feel like there's a lot of things. It's kind of like fucking it not to
celebrate John Wayne Gacy Father, but he
X, Ray vision into his son and so something
Falcon weird about him, and he thought the way to do it was to beat and dry, and this is how will make him a strong human being where and also there was a part of where he Christian
Robert was like your odyssey parenting. May I know he wanted to be just for some to be a tall straight. Danish man and meanwhile, like you, have full can see more from little shop of horrors. Is your son you in it drives you insane yeah, you know what I didn't like doing. Left handed Lay ups
Ola Medley after the war war. So yeah, I'm with you there right, yeah
tell these guys. They were awful Father's, of course, like like both like we're. Definitely not saying that this was the right way to go about it, but they did they did they did yeah they did it the wrong way because will get worse. If you were talking about celebrating, because I mean there wasn't there wasn't a bunch of books did use the word celebrate in the same sentence as John Wayne Gacy's father, but he did say I don't want to celebrate John Wayne Gacy's father, but then he did yeah sure that's the thing he said. I don't want to celebrate Joann Casey's father, but they needed right. They were technically right. They just didn't realize it until afterwards, if they turned out to be people that invented headphones or did committed suicide at the age of twenty five, they would definitely be wrong. Yeah. Today's
answer for last. Podcast on the left is the new horror thriller. Where silence mean survival, a quiet place star,
Emily Blunt and John
present Ski Lee Evelyn and there
Two children have survived in a post apocalyptic world by finding ways to keep quiet
avoid summoning vicious, sound, detecting predators,
But how long can this family survive in a world where any sound they make could be their last?
I checked out the trailer, and this does look like a pretty solid post, apocalyptic thriller which
far as like or movie subgenres go against a post apocalyptic thrillers are among my favorites.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to seeing this movie in the theaters when it comes out and win
come out, you may ask a quiet place
be in theaters
April. Sixth, that's a quiet.
Yes starring John Krasinski and Emily Blunt in theaters April, sixth,
spell stutter that Robert had he could keep it under wraps well enough as he got older, but it
This came out when he felt as if he was losing control, and it was just a constant presence when he was a kid for the father's park. Chris Hansen was a local bake,
in the I would town of Pocahontas, a town so boring, but they have pool heading on their Wikipedia page about a big tornado that touched down outside of town a few years ago. There's no deaths or destruction or even injuries, or anything like that is just really really big. So the biggest news of the day was there's a storm near here yeah. No, it was not even the biggest news of the day is the biggest news of the decade. It happened like in two thousand and eleven. Well, that's pretty cool,
tornado okay delicately pump up. This is the birthplace of Robert Hanssen and become one of those true crime that, because, like Ed gain, small town, obviously just lead in one shot. No, the only thing that they, the only famous person they'd talk about two famous people on their Wikipedia page. It's it's a
Anti war activist, whose name I can't remember, and a middling baseball player,
and Larry Bitner Lee better. But two point four point: twenty seven batting average is better than Maine I'll show you that great, not great, but that's. Ok, it's fine, but even though
king was the family business Little Robert wanted nothing to do with it, although he was still forced to work there most days all while his father yelled at him. For how worthless he was, I don't think that's a problem. Well, maybe, if you stop being worthless, I mean honestly. If it gets down to point, the yelling will stop if you get to be a better baker, and this is bakery. So this is uh
We have forty five in the morning right, every single true, but it's good to teach a kid. A skill like that, oh yeah. Well, Bob should have uh
hello. He had a real passion in life and that was
is bow and arrow and his throwing knives. He would practice for
hours behind his dad's bakery obsessed with the skills needed to achieve
a silent kill like Bo Jackson, Michael Jackson, he makes his own arrows already after he retired he's like what else could I dominate the world?
just the nature. It's really amazing.
But he was a sports star. First, yes and he's a very good man from what I understand the rob.
It wasn't even a baker. First, nine, it's weird to say that it's your your passion, yes throwing knives. Like I understand I, like the the sling shot guy, that german sling shot guy on Youtube. You know
No! I don't know I got you, don't know that guy now you got it his name,
I grew slash and he goes like crazy slingshots and now he makes money from doing on Youtube, and that makes a lot of sense because you can monetize it using Youtube nowadays, while granted. It know that so what was
get out of it. Besides just creeping everybody out, perhaps on this week's last stream on the left, every Tuesday at eight pm on adult swim, dot, com I'll, have
those videos for you, Henry oh yeah, yeah yeah. There awesome
naturally in school Bob was less than popular partially due to him being the weird knife kid in school. Who had the mean danish dad, but mostly because
is, can be extremely cruel when it comes to someone with a stutter, especially back then alright,
These are pretty debilitating speech impediment and it's terribly.
Extremely hard to get over. It's very difficult and it folks with you mentally, but there's not just bad stutters like Robert Hanssen, you gotta, remember, there's also famous stutterers, like James Earl Jones, who is he a stutterer? He was. He was yes and bud. Sheinberg,
who bud Sheinberg,
famous stutterer. According to this list, I'm I'm looking at. Did you famous stutterers? Yes,
then went by
approach teenage years. Things only got worse, they didn't get better. They did not during the glorious teenage years that we all had Bob developed an awful case,
severe, acne bad enough to deeply scarred
and for the rest of his life it became one of his define. It became his defining physical characteristic, at least the one you can see wink wink, which we'll talk about later. Do people
I, like him and Robert Crumb, is there like a disease that you get like? Is it
make a nerd disease that comes like honestly, 'cause some people just get the slam Bam Full Decker, nerd problems like immediately an I don't know why. I don't know why I did. I had a friend in college named Dirk. That was the exact same way. What happened to dirt dirt should've been fucking, the opposite of his name. If there was a purpose of the universe, he would have grown up like six. One slash two feet tall like a member of the lacrosse team, but that's the thing dark turned it around he's doing great. Now the awesome time out in Washington DC they perfect yeah. He turned it around, but Robert Hanssen did not know we didn't know
enhance- and he was just the butt of everyone's jokes- all throughout high school- it just I mean, because you know the guy had a horrible stutter and just a face
full of pus filled. Pimples, I mean it just it covered it from forehead to Chin. I mean it's like
I imagine like one of these sounds like this is one of those times for, like the teachers join at a a raw Ric, there is a funny okay, okay, listen me in a body see or know, we've been making phone. You quite a big for your your acne. In the starter and your stupid way. You
now. You can speak to a woman who never look at anybody in the eyes and always playing with knives. Let me ask you question: ok, guys guys guys shut up, shut up
favorite tv show I
love. This show about the little
ponies, oh yeah, but instead
just getting over his high school bullshit and grow.
Like all the rest of us did. 'cause we all had high school bull shares at absolute fuckin' number service, have it worse than others, yes, but everyone, the bullies room, is
well, the ones being bullied or miserable, but the ones being bullied or sometimes bullying, people it's a whole. It's a cesspool of horribleness. Instead of getting over it Bob. Just let that pain, fester into a nerdy rage that would
load sooner rather than later, handsome,
tried gaining respect where he could like a lot of these guys do by like joining the volunteer fire.
Apartment or signing up for, like the
police instructor program, but none of it stuck don't gave his yet, but because he thought
but that's how you got respect and we see the same thing with David Berkowitz, who say the same thing with the old falcon bumble, but we think that if you
join into this this series of a approach.
More people wear uniforms. People have to respect me and then you're doing it out of spite you doing it. For
your own bully mentality, you've been bullied into being a cop, you believe, and you think then now I have control
Authorities gonna give me all the back up. I need because I don't have the spine to stand up for myself. This is a recipe for a horribly abused, a police officer. Yes, it is so when Bob
graduated high school, you didn't become a cop. He tried for the
avenue of institutionalized respect that he could think of the army.
And he's obviously remember, though this is not every
he joins the army. Now, talking about this, this we're talking about these folks
yeah talking about like these kinds of guys that were place
deal of self respect and honor with what they
get out of the systems, because that's that's really what it is. It's, because the ideas that they want to use the system, Sir, what they can exploit other people while using the system to most will get in the army, are like really they're doing it for education yeah, where they have a. They have a passion for not every lister. We have it's either. Do you know a police officer or you know, in the army or any kind of armed forces? You all know this guy, like you all,
if you are thinking about a very specific person right now, as we talk about Robert Hanssen, it's the guy
his gun is the cleanest and his
bad days like weirdly made diagonal. I really like he's allergic to certain foods inside of the evening at the mess hall and he won't yeah but never wanted, but he is this: like a just, lose the give me extra corn but dietary needs first soldier. That's really what turned me off in the military. Yet what
the making of a tight bet yeah. How do you do it everyday? I've, never understood how people do it. You go. We go to the hotels we stay there. You come back to bed like that. I don't get it too tight. I don't like it. I always do typo always bring it up every time.
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Robert Hanssen stand in the army was pretty unremarkable, except
one incident, happened right across the
here in New York City, really, Robert being the guy
little soldier that he was earned. The distinction,
of being one of the Uso's soldiers at the Weeke and was given a day pass to explore the city that sounds like they were just trying to get him out of there. Here you go you wanna, let's plan we can we make something up. Can we do like a soldier of the week go hit Manhattan and if you get lossed, there's a lot of opportunities in Manhattan that you can take and take advantage of their Robertina couple of
Good soldiers headed downtown Ann hired, a professional to finally pluck Bob's flower. It's a different time than now now he would just be at a Dose Camino's eating guacamole, maybe going over to you gotta go to Dallas barbecue. I got jealous barbecue, it's like you're in Dallas, but we're in times square. So it's like super annoying. What is sad about this would sad about this result. Result I actually
I hate to say it, but I was in time square. I like that trashy faster, don't hate to say it like that, sometimes, if no ones there, but it's always kinda busy, of course, yeah.
Oh yeah Times Square is always kind of busy in the winter time it's it's a little bit more relaxed, yep yep. That is true. That is true, he's not relaxed its desolate. It's a lot will look at the America, I feel at ease. American grill is gone. So what's what's the point, when was your last trip to an olive garden, olive garden?
I don't really care for soup. I don't particularly care for supper for salad, let
Unlimited amount of amount of things that
don't care for it. It's not the only thing that served in italian food restaurant. They go get pasta, you could get Chicken, Parma John, you could get it or to ITALY. No, no well about rob
experience with a lady of the night in New York City, though first his very first time, he said
quote, I got to
but that was about it.
Thing was strictly slam Bam. Thank you ma'am. I did
you could get a hug and I walked in allowed to sleep in the bed? Not actually now that I think about it. You know kind of like the dude that Katy Perry kissed on American Idol yeah, who was like damn. I was saving it for someone special like you're, twenty in Katy Perry, kissed, you you're, fine yeah,
We just definitely felt you too 'cause. You
you see it immediately right now we
these rest of his life. You work with sex workers, see Ryan in his victims. Are sex workers. He was take yeah. He was taking them out because of
I don't think so because of this, it's a weirder pathology than that, but I'm not saying that it is because of that, but as
Taylor with all serial killers right there, seeds that get planet right, there's a shift that happens early on that start little memories, and so his reaction immediately to his buddies, doing reward time. What is supposed to be like
army men having a timeout like boys, being boys going to see a sex worker having a good time
turn into a whole thing of like he was supposed to fall in love with this woman like this was supposed to be something crazy, so you could see, I imagine his buddies roll like yeah, exactly
slam bam. Thank you. Ma'am! That's two sex work whole thing: yeah yeah we're not we're trying not to have a girlfriend. That's the whole point is that we're in the Falcon Army were trying to have a good time, and then he
So I mean that's like a weird thing: immediate, his reaction is just complaining. It's just sex, it's literally. If I was like, so it's just soup and salad,
Yes, yes, Sir, that is what the deal is, Sir,
that's another like honey in self thing to where you know, people don't like yeah, just yeah. If you have such a hard time, you know discount, maybe go to a professional, and you know just
to get it over with like no I've wanted to be special. I want.
Be the woman. I fall in love with a man
I just can't? I miss every way he just kept his literally, never special yeah. It is never once ever special. Now when is the first having having sex is just it's just
and usually, oh I'm sorry. It ends with I'm sorry and the rest of the time hopefully doesn't end with I'm sorry, because.
It dozen with I'm sorry you're on your way to becoming a surfer killed every single time, all so after basic training,
Robert returned to Pocahontas, but the army had done nothing
temper the rage, he'd felt for his school and everyone inside, and to make
it's worse, the police chief took his
junior police instructor rank away, partly because he was getting to be too
talking old for that sort of thing. I'm thirty! Four years old, I can't be a junior police inspector,
but no, no! No! We all we all look at each other. We've all decided that no get the fuck outta here is like night. What is the year? Nineteen eighteen 1990s nineteen years old, fully too old, but
is also partly because the police chief had seen Robert Hanssen still at nineteen sitting in the back of his dad's bakery, still throwing knives at targets over and over and over again in the police chief. Actually, I came back and
That sounds like. So what do you? What do you do
back here in rubber, like throwing knife goes see.
That was and bus
is bone arrow at shooting right, like
no one could ever hear you coming. Nobody could ever hear you and that's when the police chief is like
you can't be a part of our
operation? You should've said auditioning for the Johnny Carson Show honestly now with America's got talent. There's a lot of excuses for horrible, weird hobbies.
About this time that Roberts need for revenge started, taking actual form at nineteen years old,
Roberts started hanging out with the high school kids who worked at his dad's bakery and he
his own little delinquent k he's finally he's finally cool,
he's to the high school. Okay. All right is that guy he's like hanging out with these rag tag, group of newsies that have formulated around this loser that he is. He has a bit now we as control. What he wanted like he likes to have. His little group of people will look up to him because everybody else six gig treats him like the mouth breezing like a,
mouth breathing loser, but he is right now. This gangs first project was to
what a tractor in the nearby town of Ralph, but that was just practice. Okay, they're.
Intimate small town. Batman villain scheme was to blow up the town water tower, which would somehow show them all who's boss. But at some point you know Robert
going to need to drink water. Stinky will all be for a week yeah. I know when will be when the spices come down. The squirrels in the dogs get always were kind of punishing ourselves in a certain way, but well it kinda
give my punish myself
it's like it is Irving, and also I'm punishing pressure, will talk about the water later, but that was the ult.
Stroke in their master plan. That was the end game. There was one
institution that needed Roberts attend
for all the others. The school Roberts said this about the school and
confession I just hated that place with the divine passion
to do anything and everything I could think of to get back to that monster school that I convinced myself was out to do all Bob Erickson personal wrong. Oh man, now I'm just thinking of school with Like Frankenstein and Dracula Baby, Bron Stroman I'll, throw him in there. That's a monster school. That's a great television show that already happened. There was a cartoon. Donut was glue years monsters in the 90s with monster school monster, high school, it's a high school that was popular completely by monster, but only was called monster. School you're right, you're, right technically, Marcus is right, but
so keeping your brain, because we can always revamp it. Revamp
now the new one is called monster high. I think the other one was called like Dracula INC.
Very good, think about how lame that is that at nineteen you want to
pull up the high school year. I think you're out getting away to the army. You saw the city, you did all of this shit. You still want to blow up your high school right. The name of the high school gravedale high, so you're, even close Gravedale Gravedale yeah Rick Maraniss, was in it was great yeah. I used to love it, so Robert Hanssen ordered to get back at his school.
And everyone. In it mind you
two years after he graduated he figured. There was only one thing he could do
burn down the bus barn! No,
That's where the bus babies, all the buses, go there when that, when all the lights go out and it's night time that's when the buses could finally make love without the prying eyes of the man you're having like a Thomas, the tank Ripple Lex,
I looked it up to see if that Israel began, there is no way to do. There's a sponge Bob xxx yeah, but Sponge Bob is at least
his arms leases, got pants on that hides a cock. You
because if you give a cartoon pants thing, you can theoretically give it a cock, because the
circumference. Something up. I suppose that's true huh.
So when you put in Thomas the tank engine to pornhub some real weird stuff comes out. Alright, alright, let's move on so we burn it down, looking back Tarzan showing well one night.
Most of the town was attending a big basketball game. Robert in his underlings took the opportunity to strike
I like the idea of in Pocahontas the best basketball team is the generals from Harlem Globetrotters hearing mean like that city that goes on to play the Harlem Globetrotters that there should be tough? Who do you think wins in the Jonestown boys or these Pocahontas Pocahontas one gee? I wonder what the Pocahontas High School mascot was something racist yeah. I think we, I think we know so rob
it is gang, took a can of gas, douse the barn and lit it on fire and Bob who had
and kicked out of his volunteer fire department gig, yet received double pleasure from the act
You got to return to watch the whole thing burned to the ground, all three
school. Seven buses were rendered rendered.
Theory aiding the school superintendent involved, Mick, who, if you buy, although Mick happen to be one of Robert Hanssen's, Father's closest friend, okay, because it
Robert Hanssen like to do he just like to poke his dad in the eye he like to poke the town in the eye. But in these little shady nerdy ways, alright, we'll think about would call pans. Ram did call pens.
Burnt down half a fucking school like
As he was a kid
it's already deadly predator than Robert
listen to me
Part of what makes us Robert Hanssen, unique, leading up to the
his his claytor crimes is how lame and unsuccessful a lot of his crimes were like, and I think that's what
driving him and drive him towards a weird sort of serial killer perfection is that he kept fucking up,
and it would infuriate he is a up. That's for sure. Yes, but it wasn't long
for one of the kids who helped Robert set the bar a flame, opened his mouth and made the
that decision to brag about the arson to a straight laced, GI back home
Pocahontas on leave. The GI report reported
The team cracked, an Robert, was arrested. Now Robert denied it completely
rip. The town asunder into Indipro, Bob and Auntie Bob factions
I'm a. I got, I'm on Pro Bob, I'm probaby too. So what is that mean? Really? We I have to like Bob to be pro Bob, because I don't I don't like pop. I don't know, I'm Robert I mean he had.
A lot of side, but it was mostly they were on his dad side, because
handsome was like about, I mean he was a well liked member of the community, but just nobody like to sun, but because they like Chris Hansen, I like all right. I guess if Chris is his son, didn't do it, then his son didn't do it also a running a run?
anything in this story was the power that the community Baker has over a bunch of people. If you have access to free carbs, people will do whatever it takes to get him. People love bread and pastries. It's really weird, as we've learned Hanson, specifically Chris Hansen's, they love baked goods
they put a plate of cookies, part of someone and that individual is forced to confess we've seen it on time and time and time and time again to catch a predator cookies to these Charles movies, always in a cookie which is like, I will tell you the truth, he's around cookies all day. I don't know what it is with. That name and cookies Nutrition Robert him with.
The town behind, and he even managed to somehow convince a girl to marry him. While all this was going on, he convinced another local loner named Phoebe, Padgett and Phoebe's parents did not want her to Mayor
Robert Hanssen Anti Bob Anti Bob Faction Anti Bob. He goes into every everybody's got to be anti bobbin. Probab is just poor, Bob or stupid, stupid bump and he's sitting there just going like Phoebe. I was thinking that maybe that we could go on a date.
Does that sound good to you? Yeah we could do. Is you want to see how silent I can kill a
I had a thing about this, for a second love happens for older, so many or serial killers have relationships yeah they
we do, but also it also is a running theme in a lot of the serial killers. We cover that the wives there
turn. Tell them don't do it. Yeah
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only listen to your parents, usually
parents, your friends, they all say, don't do it there's I can't
Remember a single serial killer, who got married when
the bride's parents didn't say
there's something wrong with this guy
they always seem common yep they always do, but for RA.
After you got married things started falling apart Hanson
build a lie, detector test and in the process, somehow managed to admit that he
Had a plan to blow up the police, chief's house
you probably did one of those where he's like. Well, at least I didn't blow up the police, chief's house and they're like finally, now we can all can we all arrest him right now is going to get him, so that was the,
yes line in the frozen ground, yeah q SEC. This is such a cliche line during a police investigation. Interrogation of the victim comes in, he says well,
I should have killed you when I had the chance that it was like whoa wow. I guess he had the chance at some point. All of the frozen ground was shot as if it was shot in twenty thirteen and it was like a formulary formula. Cry movie was never shot before and they were constantly surprised by their own choices. Well, after rob
Well the lie detector test. He still said that he was innocent, but to avoid
bad publicity in Pocahontas in he was the one that put it that way he pled guilty to put the matter to rest good. I now it is. I know it is in Pocahontas the paps everywhere you don't want to be. You don't want to be on the bad side of the Pocahontas. My
Pocahontas Press. I mean they're, tenacious so hence
was sentenced to a short term and Anamosa state reformatory, but he only lasted six months before he confessed to his new wife who
began divorce proceedings damn near the next day. Good 'cause! Imagine how sad
got married. He gets picked up first,
NG fire to a bus, barn yeah many months ago. He said I am innocent. I am innocent. I don't know where he calls you in to ease up the state reformatory because he pled guilty to
the police. You then are sitting there like ok
but you been telling me that you been done wrong and then finally is like yeah. I did it, my god, those buses and then like like. Oh, this is done. I know my last name is patch. It was the weirdest nerdiest name in the world, but I definitely can fuc higher than this yeah. That's when the pendulum swings to the anti Bob immediately. She got infected with an anti pop cancer, but after Phoebe
It was time to tell his father
Chris Hansen, had spent months since his son sentence was handed down running petition drives to overturn the punishment, telling anyone who would listen that his son was innocent. He had Chris answered
pretty much made this his whole life. That mean to tell me, Robert after all,
this time I come to my
mustache shaved, dot Us Tinya, Soc society would allow me to shave my mustache I may
it's over two hundred cop,
in Xerox machines putting up the flyers, nevermind severan tear I put on my hiking shoes walking about town
I know you are guilty of. If only synopsis was still around, I could send them to you, because that was the ultimate punishment you get. The issue from uh,
danish person. That's not good yeah. I don't think his dad was that, so he why he wanted to write with the right hand, because that's what society
what it that's, what I mean right handed desks and then he worked in the bakery. What is good to just be a baker yeah? He would that he tried to.
It didn't really seem like his dad was the vat horrible. Like I mean he was just you have you shitty like he was definitely a shitty dads, but it wasn't anywhere near the level of a lot of other. You know these ten was trying to they active of put the active petitioning.
Someone who did it? What I six
fully ran success,
for Brooklyn borough. President united success really does exactly right. Yeah, you got you on the ballot huge deal. Thank you. How much was that again, how much you get
six thousand mods. One point eight
Brooklyn, I that wherever I am, he was just earned- I mean Tiger woods. His father Duck
we kiss hands to a baby golf club place until he learned how to put the truth. Like a thing, were you these guys
These are the. He was a stern father that was trying to make something out of what he thought was his week. Son right look at.
Powerball he's got a kid who for the Lakers not doing well,
Levar Balls, actually a horrible person. Well, when
truth came out. Chris Hansen was so humiliated by his sons lie that he sold his bakery left town
bought a resort to run in Minnesota at a place called leech lake, zip as part of
going down to glorious leech lake is, if you deny the giant, cease logs that had been tableted several of the cabanas or severe pink cloud.
Set rain to go,
down on all of the traps Taurus he at least Lake one
We do have his dollar bud light.
When Robert was released from prison. He joined his family and leech lake. There was nothing wait for him back in Pocahontas in fresh off that
in Stent Robert
it's and met the woman who would be his wife until the day he was caught. Darla
Henriksen Darla's two defining characteristics were these.
It was a woman of strong christian faith of the submissive to the husband variety and she had a deep
most blind desire to help people in need and in Robert she definitely
someone to help dark.
Openly said that too. I read an interview with her later on where she said when she met him. Is that he?
It was a twenty five year old man just got out of prison. He was cleaning leech lake. God knows what the focus goes in that lake. He was out there doing, and she immediately said with his weird scarred face an his stutter and the way that he spoke in the way that he could make eye contact with her was all like. I could help him
That was like first thought being like finally I'll use. My use
I bosoms, because at the time
she was tall and they said that
tall is a woman like made you so undesirable would drive me crazy, 'cause. I think it's hot you look how you look at plugging Natalie
Like a woman, that's much taller than me, I well I mean if she was like five, eight eight
three just dollars so
over one magical summer in Leech Lake really is that the word you want to use the best part darlas. You can use the slugs making love in the moonlight. She never thought about that before, and I don't really want to know how that works
That is nice. Robert glad, you took me out here yeah so over that summer, that
fell in love Darla,
back to school in the fall, but the two kept in touch by letter before Robert had enough and said quote doggone.
But we can get married
that's actually a fine time to say doggone it 'cause it's followed by a nice sentence like doggone it. I got guts all over my aeros, but all of these comments are coming from when he's inside jail for murder. That's the difference. Is that he's recounting this now yeah. I see yeah. This isn't something like from his wedding speech that was after this was in the middle of him talking about hunting down women and kill. It actually was that ok, yeah yeah and the things about getting married
finally had the means to because by this time, bye,
but finally, given in and had taken up, the
only trade and was becoming a successful baker in his own right working at every supermarket? Who would take him in the Midwest? Alright piggly
piggly wiggly Rahila Safeways, Safeways, yeah yeah.
You don't like safe ways to really have a safe. We grown up with the way, the way the cops restore we had skaggs. That is a problem. You say that is not anywhere that you should never buy meat Robert,
mainly settled in Minneapolis, where Darla was finishing college and as soon as she finished, the young newlyweds set their sights n almost inexplicably and moved
Anchorage Alaska where they opened up Hansens bakery all right now,
We're going to explore Alaska, which is sounds incredible, did actually really think of Alaska as being a sort of paradise for serial killers. But it is in a weird way where it's got all that kind of qualities a serial killer could ask for, in terms of being remote, very little sunlight, but
it also sounds like a lot of fun yeah, I would love to go to Alaska. I mean it sounds like it sounds great now and back in the 70s. It sounded pretty fun to like right. Well, 'cause Anchorage was like it was kind of gone through a weird time, because,
posted now. It's always been kind of a weird place, but there was like a transition time. Ok like back, then,
like encourage was like, after he was the most frontier frontier towns. It was like the last true remaining outpost,
like loners and weirdos that we're just looking to get away from civilization, alright, but then the oil came and with the
okay in the boom and with the boom came the workers and with the workers, came the sex workers, as they always do,
boomtown of any kind
yeah, they say and according to all the id channel docks- and I watch it's all been like and
the prostitutes went
smiles follow and go up there, because those hard pipe workers needed a place to rest, their weary bottoms and there's
not in there, like a nice soft woman, slap to rest, a weary bottom and knees prostitutes, new the people who do video ever like you sure you want me to say
a little uncomfortable they're, just obsessed with prostitutes idea, I mean there will be id saying the word process a little bit like fifty five times in each documentary and streetwalkers yeah yeah. I like street walkers. I like it. Ladies of the night, is one of my favorite course now. When you read
Book we used for research in this episode, which is terrible, it's an awful book. The books called butcher Baker. They
get some like anchorage in the 70s was pretty much oil fields to bars a couple of churches of police station in Robert Hanssen bakery. If you
working in the oilfield, but also you need maybe
the roller rink. We saw the pictures. Marcus said all of us pictured from the time period. It was cool that you sent that Marcus 'cause it's nice to get a feel for the town and it looks sort of like Saint Paul now, kinda yeah I mean it's a very. It was a very stark landscape, but it had like a creepy.
The charm? You know it's kind of fun. It looked kind of fun but like for me, like the creepy kind of charm, like I saw a picture of a station wagon that just had the words relentless struggle painted on the side and huge letters. Maybe it was a demolition car anchorage in the 70s. It was like it was a town with like a wild west feel, but with still with like modern technology, it was like kind of in an odd transition period between like the frontier times of your when Anchorage was pretty much like an air hub like it was just a place. You went through on the way to someplace else. It was between that
and like the 80s and 90s when it became like ski resorts and like oil executives and like big Golden taught, the big golden towers that they have downtown. Now the real sociopaths moved in exactly pretty much 'cause it to frontier town side of it. Just sounds like it was kind of crazy, but it was also the way they sort of describe it was every man was a pipe worker and eh.
The woman that you saw is a topless dancer or a sex worker. I don't like whoa that sound
if I like this, isn't a description of a typical anchorage, woman, five foot, three plus
round. In the bottom Brown
Tony here I know it's like whoa, that's the average Anchorage woman. I mean it sounds kind of looks like a filthy town for filthy people like, and I mean that in the nicest way possible yeah. It's like the Baltimore of the North Pole,
golden more of the North pole love our people in Baltimore, with friends over people in Anchorage and honestly. If there's anybody gives us a reason to perform in anchorage. Sadly, this episode is kind of inspired me to go there. I would love it now as we
sex work as many times a transient business in that went double for anchorage in them in the 70s C anchorage
not necessarily a place where a woman might set up permanent shop for a career in sex work. Most times,
I'm in the trade specifically, the topless dancers were working on a circuit on the Pacific Coast, San Diego EL, a San Francisco, Seattle Vancouver an finally all the way up to Anchorage, and then they had all the way back down. South
the whole thing all over again. Ok. Can I ask a second question about like the Tity circuits, when you run into the circuit, I don't think they're called that it's not called that were tinny. I mean, I think it's nice, I think well, whatever they do is great because it makes people smile,
part of what it is they do. They go with it like comedy where there's like Booker's and they go in the basically follow the the line of brokers. I or is it a more unofficial than that? I'm pretty sure it's the same owners for the establishments and then they got a travel around because of that yeah. I think I am I remember. In back in taxes, there was like a a bit of a triangle. There was like a Amarillo
Abilene an Lubbock, because there was a JAG wires in each one of those cities, so the women would just kind of go from one place to another and just kind of travel around and make money, and that and also that way like they wouldn't get creepy,
like the regulars, wouldn't get too attached. You know what I mean: oh yeah, yeah
which I think is really important because technically this is the group of the
they have to rely on themselves, especially at this town, is officially at this time and depending on where you go, and it seems like they all talked about what you did see in this
specifically with sex workers having to use their own interior protection system and saying, like this place, is
creepy. There's a guy here, that's creepy! That comes around all the time Robert Hanssen Robert picked in Gary Ridgway. They were all on short lists for creepy dudes that were around and they were well known for a long time of there's a couple of creepy guys. The problem is, is that if someone wasn't plugged in
to the circuit, a new '
exactly what's happening, then they would be vulnerable and
okay thing like that was if a woman was a professional, some of the women coming into town Anchorage, they only stay for like a couple of months, usually a summer and make a quick and none of
box before heading back down to the lower forty eight all
so since so many women were in and out of town constantly disappearances, weren't taken too seriously, and as we're going to see pretty much
Other crime committed against a sex worker in anchorage
taken seriously either
All of this made anchorage the perfect place for Robert Hanssen to develop into the worst serial killer. The state has ever and hopefully will ever see so pretty soon
Robert and his wife, Darla of arrived in Anchorage Robert earn enough money to open up his own shop in a mini mall on the corner of ninth and Ingram on one of them
thoroughfares of anchorage. This was a great spot for business, but it
also put Robert close to the Tenderloin district of Anchorage Tenderloin, being the name often given to american red light districts. All right actually has its origins here in New York City, the theater district in Manhattan, that was with the tender low yeah from the the late nineteenth century to the early twentieth century. That was the tenderloin, because there were so many bribes turn around a pulley,
she said I used to be
chop beef, but now I'm going to beat snacking on the tenderloin. It is delicious, got a beef but double its ever cisco to terrible neighborhood port that dad poor.
Place is very under under govern.
I wonder if he did the same thing,
Where did Robert Hanssen actually go to this part of town? Do you think
because he knew that he was giving himself one of the little allowances. I don't think so. I think Robert Hanssen or a maybe subconsciously, but I think he was a bit of a
product of his environment and maybe I will he's
a previous should maybe in Iowa yeah. I bet well by bright, bold, but that's a day. I don't we actually looked into it. I had a research assistant any look into the whole. I would think there's not.
To that that I was just thinking about it, yeah the claim of because one of the investigators and all the is, and these investigators in this case really like
to ramp up how bad bad Bob Hanson? Actually was and they'd say they just kind of authentic through, like you know, I think he was doing things back in Iowa, but there's nothing to
Report says that he did anything until
about like one thousand nine hundred and seventy one, ok and by black product of his environment, like I don't mean that Anchorage made him what he was. I think Anchorage
him the opportunity to be what he wanted to be.
But I think if you would have stayed in Iowa Cube NET, probably never would have done any of this yet or at the very least. It would have gotten to the point that it did it's probably very classic. Well, we see a lot is kind of like a six thousand and forty one years.
Sixty percent. It's in his make up it's in his dna. He was going to do it anyway and then the
Three percent is the random things that sort of lead. The way that
what's show what to do, because as soon as I imagine you shows up, the shop is
next to where all the sex workers are, that old, red light district he's
watching them come and go and the more and more he become
success with them coming out of the shop watching it watching stuff and he's like oh wow. Nobody knows
These women come and go. You start to realize these people disappear all the time.
Can come in and out of town, and that maybe just maybe this is where I could start doing my weird ship yeah and
the tenderloin in Anchorage. It was no different from the rest. I this place. It was home to as many strip clubs as an alaskan could want, and most of these
clubs had at least a couple of women who are willing to go further than just to dance, but for Robert Anchorage was not about the women at first at first, it was about
hunting, and this was where Hanson's nerd flag truly flew, see today's nerds. Have it easy with
internet? You can just go on the internet and you can talk to people with whatever nerdy shape you want to talk to him about, but back in Roberts Day, nerds
make do with doing it all through mail. You had to be a had to go the extra mile for it, and that is how rob,
started submitting. His hunting kills to the Pope and young club. I do not like him
those two words together over the young and the Pope and Young club dealt
collusively in hunting records set by archer, and that is not to
confused with the Boone and Crockett Club. Of course, not no yeah, I mean Jesus Christ or Lord. They only dealt with deer, killed by Gun Natur
so yeah suns beat by paddle
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one thousand nine hundred and seventy one Roberts set the record for the biggest ram horns bag by bow and arrow, followed by the second biggest care.
Who the 12th ranked mountain goat, the 13th ranked doll, sheep and 34th ranked
bear doesn't count
34th that you stop breaking after ten. They do top. Fifty. I think honestly, 34th ranked black bear just sounds like a big dog. It's really not that big of a deal
I mean we're. Not hunters, though I have no clue. I thought, isn't there like a Ryan? That's like brown lie down black GO attack, white, say Goodnight
where it's about bears. I have no
Why did? Why? Do you know, but bear rhymes
I don't know I mean we're. Moose lodge, is to go to the bathroom or something the point is
is that Hanson knew how to hunt and he loved doing it damn near more than anything else. However, I think it would be a mistake,
I think that it was his hunting that escalated.
Into serial killing hand. Wasn't is baking, I mean I don't know. The baking got really boring, but I, I would say, a hunting. The more exciting part of it he was,
is good at hunting yeah. He was great at it and he loved doing it, but his
escalation into killing humans. I think, came
another place entirely, which is the same place. It comes from with a lot of these assholes. It was all about control. What he openly said
The times is that what he was good at was wounding the animal and tracking it until it died yeah. He would always talk about how happy was like yeah, you get a die shot in on him, and then they get all week and then I can get my hands on it's just like it's very strange words like I thought that the thing to
it was like, kill it like really quickly
like that's what you wanna do with a bow and arrow. It's totally dead, yeah bow and arrow is totally different than like a rifle. I don't get him in. You know when you're a baker, you got total control over the muffins. You got control over the donuts. You got control over everything and I don't get how that's not enough control for you. You can make cakes in this shape activities. You can make them into the shape of vaginas and then you can follow and recommend a weird shape. Yeah they don't even just have to be female body parts. They could also be Leprechaun Patrick's day or they could be little. You know just
unknown and you could still fall apart and do anything history
well, I think, with Robert Hanssen. It just so happened that his nerdy gun hobby, just tap
coincide perfectly with whatever evil it was that.
Inside of the hunting was almost incidental in the beginning of
escalation began damn near ten years before his
first confirmed murder.
In December of one thousand nine hundred and seventy one Hanson followed a customer from his bakery back to her house. He walked in and creepily asked for a date and when she refused Robert left, but the rejection festered a week later, he returned with a gun in attempted
kidnapping, but was thankfully arrested in the process. I
so they like. This is like that. The you know the old saying is that you know, but men are afraid that women will embarrass them, and women are afraid that men will kill them
Robert Hanssen is that guy, yes well 'cause, also part of it too is this is a failure that
but honestly he was not
I'm trying to be like funking gross about it, but he was bad at. This is a good thing that,
'cause he couldn't become
a predator. He wanted to come quickly and I think that
these failures. It's, what ramped him up to the craziness of hunting them out in the woods and being really fucking ornate with being a fucking like
like he wanted to blow this out of the water. And this is the kind of stuff that led to it, because
he just couldn't get it together. He's not
Randy Orton, the apex.
The wrestler Randy Orton Randy Orton. He is very attractive, very attractive,
you know what we're going to see is how many failures he does 'cause. I mean this first time he was arrested almost immediately and I think after he,
failed so many times he started
well. What am I good at and breaking
stick with this. Yes, good. Thank you. Have you? Are you covered by long line of bankers? It's all set up for you, good God, banquet he came upon. Is it yeah, I'm good at hunting? I can I can. I can hunt a deer. I can takedown a bear with a bow and arrow. I can take down
he was out on bail from this arrest. You know he went right back out and tried it at
EAST one, if not two more times with deadly consequences. This first one is not
firm to be handsome, but the MO an the time period is just too close to be coincidence. On Christmas day.
A few days after the incident with the customer cops found, the
of Celia Vanzanten in Mchugh, Creek State Park. She
hands tide behind her back with speaker, wire and she'd, been slashed across the chest with a knife, but the wound wasn't what had killed her
Celia had escaped whatever fate her assailant had in store, but the temperature that night had been five below Celia had froze
death, while hiding from whomever it was that it kidnapped, or that
well we're going to see. I mean if it's his mo later on and that's why they're going to type back to it, but this is what shows she fought.
Like a crazy person to get away from her assailant
This is a strong person, political, rational person button, but nobody I mean, like she thought, really really hard. She had ST smarts and she was a survivor which is it allowed her survive, and this is the thing that Robert Hanssen could not deal with and one thing that we see with serial killers quite often where they have to go
the easiest possible victim because they need
feel totally in control and what he eventually started to realize is total key. Had a control, every aspect of the kidnapping and in a
being obsessive way because he wasn't physically strong or smart enough to outsmart these people who survive for a fucking living
Robert Hanssen denied. He was the kidnapper that night, but the next woman to be kidnapped that winter was most definitely him when cops started a canvas
working girls in the area looking for clues as to who could have kidnapped. Celia informant named
Robin Patterson, told cops she'd recently,
add an ear deadly run in with a short pockmarked,
with a Stutter Robin said she been kidnapped by Robert Hanssen at gunpoint.
Had been driven to a motel where he forced her to have sex. He then drove her to the wilderness park
and not so subtly told her. He couldn't let her go, but Robin actually managed to talk her.
Out of it telling Robert she hated
and wouldn't in a million years talk to one so Robert went through her purse
found her parents address and wrote it down, he told her he'd kill him and her. If he ever found out she went to the
ops, just like all the girls he killed before a Robin took him at his word and didn't say a thing until her handler eventually convinced her
make, I have a theory on the inside of this. I think what maybe happen is that she realized what was happening and flip to start talking to him emotionally, because she,
read. The last thing that you remembers hearing him say is that when he dropped her off as that he said-
Wish we had met under better circumstances, kidnapping her and have gun point yeah. I mean I think, but he
discussing, but what would she probably did was like
cool like you could you should probably had to lean in and try to like, manipulate him, because that's what he did, because any kind of fell in love with her and and did that thing because she switched from war to Madonna and his mind and then you're going to see that a lot in his M L, where he would he would pick and choose who he
Order depending on how they reacted to him, but one thing
Robin made sure everyone knew saying it as often as she could. There was a further deformity
Robert Hanssen was hiding from the world. Apparently Robert Hanssen's Dick was quote short,
but very large, around earning him, the nickname, dimple Dick for years to come. I wish that it were what I wanted it to be, which is hockey puck.
Well not happen, and we think about that. Think about this psychological nature of that which I think that people, if you have a micro penises not without trying show me he's, got around like a dog muzzle we're Dick anymore now when cops brought Hanson in they,
I have one piece of evidence: he'd Houston,
yes to sign in at the motel with Robin, but that still gave cops a handwriting sample and when they,
I asked him to empty his wallet for comparison, alittle piece of paper with the name and address of Robin Patterson's Father flood
about on the interrogation table that you got to think on this. They got this guy dead to rights. They got hard evidence that actually puts him at the scene.
One of the cops argued that they needed a search warrant for the wallet saying
if they didn't get a search warrant for
or suspects wallet, then the paper might be deemed ended,
They were just trying to technically they were trying to cover their all their bases, but also it sounds like they didn't want to do a lot of work and also Robert Hanssen Rant Agadam bakery roll the police got there fucking donuts before they were hanging out with him all the time, which is the truth.
Words like these cops knew this dude. They knew that he was fucking, insufferable nerd, but they also thought
It will give him a shot. We who knows what it's what's happening with the sex workers? I don't trust them, but also
The way he got the rid of the paper is ridiculous.
Dude was turning around. While he was
the piece of paper fell out of his wallet with the address on it.
Turn around and fill out. Some paperwork. Robert, the Robert Hanssen lean down pick up the piece of paper guy turns backgrounds like was that
piece of paper you got is like it's
For my parole officer, it's important. I have the paper he's like alright all take
piece of paper right step,
what's on the paper and he's like you could have the paper back. We just need to know what it is looking at: solar, ok and then he crumpled it up, put it in his pocket, and that was it and with that it was just
his word against Roberts word and that's. When Robert
friends came in
'cause. He Hanson always had friends in relatively respectable places, like insurance agents who went hunting with him or his wife's friends from church would come in, and they all vouch for Robert and they'd even give him like fake alibi, sometimes well Jackie, actually illuminated to something to me about Anchorage, because her ex boyfriend had family in Anchorage and there's a little bit of a because there's so many outliers out there and it's such a place for
I mean honestly loners and people that are running from other places. They protect each other quite
There's a lot of there's a lot of distrust of the police, especially back in the day, and they kind of believe that a little bit of the July on to a justice
like we will police our own people all right now.
Sing and millions of other criminals throughout history had going was that these cops saw. The sex workers in their town is nothing more than nuisances, and certainly nothing to protect Robert Hanssen
about to learn that lesson firsthand. He pled no contest
the previous assault charge on
customer and in exchange the da drop
the kidnapping charge involving Robert Patterson
Captain RON Rice of the Anchorage Police Department, he put it perfectly when he said that they pretty much told him he could do whatever he wanted to with prostitutes. Anchorage because the cops didn't give a shit about him either it was like it's a fuckedup thing. He said. Is she straight luck because, like we accidentally gave him permission and we didn't know, we know that we did David. Do it on purpose,
even beyond guys like picked in Ridgeway. It wasn't just that the cops weren't investigating disappearances, it seemed as if they were
actively looking for ways to let Hanson off the hook. The nineteen
every three. It happened again with a school teacher from the lower forty eight. He was moonlighting as a dancer in anchorage in that time,
Hanson got away because the Anchorage DA, wouldn't let the woman
If I throw a mediator because she was a school teacher, you know she thought
that if she testified it was going to get back down to her bosses and she would lose her job forever. I don't really understand these. Kids are not going to see her tity pictures anyway, like. Why is it matter? This is not now where you can just look up on the internet or whatever I don't know, that's not true. That's travel people talk, people things travel people to even now a woman would lose her job. What happens all the time the New York Post make sure to put him on the cover yeah, exactly that's how it's horrible it's awful! It's it's stupid. What did put Hanson away, though, at least temporarily, with something that I suppose the establishment of Anchorage
value to hell of a lot more than the women of their town, he got put away.
For a chainsaw. So
one thousand nine hundred and seventy six Hanson witnessed and
wait. Man having a heart attack outside of a Fred Meyer Superstore
this reminded him of his father, who is also a fat man with a heart condition, and that reminded him of that Chris.
Was just around the corner of Baker: a fat man with a heart condition, aka a baker, so Hanson walked inside the store picked up a chain.
Offers dad placed an old receipt for something or other on top of the box and tried to walk out the front door, but of course he was caught and arrested almost immediately. This wasn't Roberts,
Ray into theft. By this time, Hanson had turned into a full blown kleptomaniac, as a lot of these guys do. A lot of time. Clip to mania is what he
on the way to the serial killer, because it's about thumbing your nose society and they brag about it
I think that Robert Hanssen, you should do while sitting there
double window area were used to decorate his cakes and all of his shit and guys
would sit there and they all day
to telling all these funny stories about how he'd like to steal and then
half of them are cops and they're all
awesome at it. You know and then infer
Austin on the window. He would write if I did it. Thank you. This is what Hansen said in his confession about as Kleptomania I have it in this is this is an exact quote I
they have with thing about taking things 'cause. I just love to see. If I could get by with it.
Yeah. I should be a mere he ugl killing my pants. I could walk into a store and take something and get out the Da Da Da da da dang door with it, not a foreign, the man. I was about your for multiple years. If you do
Jack Ely, while stealing you get it, you can actually keep it. I will pay for it for you,
'cause. It's obvious! This is really important to you. So for the
I'm stealing a chainsaw Robert Hanssen was sentenced to five years in prison. He be back on the street
in sixteen months and about a year after that,
the murdering would begin yeah,
it was what they were Super Pist about the chain. So I mean I guess in Alaska, you use it for multiple things. Yeah, you know yeah, I guess like stealing a horse in the wild west or something, but they took that damn seriously or it could also be that the Judge
look at the
the resume the resume he go. Look at the last few times like ok. This guy has been arrested in question for this and got off he's been arrested in question for this and got all these are different incidents different women. You know
this guy is just been getting away with shit, so we're going to give him the maximum sentence that could
have also happened. It might be that the judge actually did give a shabby, but still like his face
these judges. Just look at just been like I hate your fucking face in the way you talk, I'm going through the book at you know we don't
No, the real name of Robert Hanssen's first victim in the
in a series of weird, very Alaska names given to the unidentified victims of Robert Hanssen. This first
victim, came to be known as x. What not Annie '
please convey. I honestly, though, there's a look of the couple. These pronunciations I'd love to know if it's real or of or face, because I have no idea how to pronounce some of the causes of these. I think it's a glut. According to the frozen ground, that was how it was pronounced, eklutna o'clock. Not is it asking Eskimo it anyway
A bad word Eskimos a slur actually
I igloo not good. It was great ninety seven words
so they have like forty seven words for seal this in time to educate you on everything about the Eskimo a note Inuit Inuit Inuit now in the summer,
of nineteen. Seventy nine Bob kidnapped and drove his first admitted victim
two hundred o'clock in the lake just a few miles North EAST of Anchorage, probably the first time he ever took a victim out into the wilderness. Now it's almost certain that Robert did not intend to kill that
is it almost always? Is things got out of hand? The girl ended up dead and Hanson found that he liked it. It could be that Robert got overconfident here now, after all, the
words element so in this of all places. Thank
to go smoothly, but not too far to the trip. Robert got his truck stuck in the mud, and at this point it seems like Roberts.
Got embarrassed and he told the girl that he lost interest in the whole thing and as soon as he got unstuck, he was just going to take her home, but she didn't believe him and she took off running into the darkness, so handsome chased after and grabbed her hair. She pulled a knife out of her purse.
Started. Swinging Hanson wrestled it away through to the ground and stabbed her to death. He tried it with another woman a couple months after
that in his camper, but this one managed to truly escape. But again it was her word against his, and that was even though she had showed up at a strangers
naked, with their hands and feet sliced up from being bound by guitar strings. But still the cops took
word over hers. These women keep showing up saying its this fucking guy to Robert Hanssen. They say
again and again it's this guy- it's really hard
Fuckin' miss this guy he's the pockmarked nerd that runs the Fuckin' baker.
Oh really runs the bakery, isn't always the bank. I like your mother bakers. They got it back to a donut guy, but the true words like they straight up, thought that he would they thought of him so pedantically. They thought that this book in fat body nerd same
and with the fuckin' bumble, but as they looked at the sky mean like he can't do anything like he doesn't do anything he's a fucking worm, so it actually flipped the other way where with bumble, but they liked him. But
with Hanson. It was just like he's tolerated him,
yes he's the guy from toxic avenger he's, not somebody who's going to kill somebody well, because the cops didn't do jackshit with that last one
six months later, Roxanne Eastland became
second victim and she was
only with Hanson's assistance after he'd been caught, but his third was found pretty
soon after the murder in
the most gruesome in bizarre ways, I've ever heard Joanne
Massena had met Hanson at the docks in Anchorage and the two had gone out for dinner nearby Messina,
kept telling Hanson that she was looking for work given and
not so subtle hint as to why she agreed to go to dinner with some guy. She just met on the docks in the first place and we're going to see this again and again. This is Robert Hanssen demo. He likes to set it up, so
supposed to be more than just sex worker and client yeah, because
Finally, she just got tired of hinting Ann. Just came right out and said I will have sex with you for money now up until then
Hanson was not planning on killing her, but once the prophecy
it was made. She was no
Bunker, what Hanson called quote unquote a decent girl piece of shit. He said he never look down on the girls who dance but as soon as money came into the conversation that woman changed from Madonna to Hor and that gave rob
the permission he needed to think of her as less than human and
that proposition was made. Robert made the decision to kill
and Joanna Messina met her fate in a remote spot on the Kenai Peninsula. For just that reason, but in a horrifying twist it was not a human who found Messina's body
in this is something that I don't even know. If this is out of a horror movie, this is some
yeah it's foggy. This is like straight up just what makes Alaska Scarica, because they would also talk about like you can go hiking and the weather changes so fast and so aggressively that you just disappear, and people are out there at like in
filled with dangerous animals? It's Vogt going. Do that
so. When investigators arrived, they found that an endangered black bear had already made a meal of the crime scene and has left. But when
cops are trying to salvage what they could the bear returned to finish what he started. The cops tried to scare the bear away the best they
could, but the bear was only getting more aggressive. The closer he got
to the body he'd already partially eaten. So the cops made a snap decision between the bear and the crime scene and the bear lost
once according to the establishment anchorage, they have plenty of hookers but bears those were in short supply
hi, and so at the end of the day, the God Dam Bear got more concerned than Joanna Messina
and that's where will pick back up next time for the conclusion of Robert Head
well, Robert Hanssen, crazy story. Thus far, my god yeah I mean Robert Hanssen, these fucking it's just
erase badly and he thought he would be wrong. He's just he's a total asshole yeah.
Yeah. I think yes, yes, yes, I know a lot of people were raised. A heck of a lot worse than Robert Hanssen turned out his father's fault. He just wanted to run a fuckin' bakery. Alright, let's do some. What we want to do we want to-
everyone for patriotic. Of course, thank you all so much for contributing to our patron. Without you, none of this is possible. I got a creepy pasta coming out. I think on my
So my dad yeah, it's gonna, be scary, yeah I'll make sure to listen with Brad. So, yes, thank you all so much for for contributing to that yeah and if you're going to do our pay, trying to go to page on dot com, slash last podcast, unless we could not tell you guys how my
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sucks many product advertised products that you actually use as opposed to just eat,
medication- I don't know- I mean it's nice to have the backup,
yeah. He just in case just to make it so it's hard, so it hurts but never dies down that I don't take in one of those bodega like dumpling pills, kill you don't corny goat weed, I don't take it, take it anymore or that tag in a pill or that weird one that shows right Usaas. While he's going to town on Chumlee, who makes those, I honestly have no idea where the wealthy man honestly people make money off of these shrink, the people that set
a literal, pile
coffee and hot sauce, you know they make sure that my asshole is a
Baron wasteland for the for anybody. I like I, I can't I can't or
doctor that will have to give me a prostate exam soon, but
think. First of all, Evan Orfanidis, you gave me
some very sweet gifts from Alaska this,
smoke salmon vodka that he gave me that I'm going to take at the end of next episode. So you'll hear my reaction to it live I
technically have to drive after this or else I would, but it's pink
I'm going to show this picture smoked salmon vodka- it's I don't want to think about it. I don't need it may be that many market, maybe maybe later I'm excited, I actually think it'll taste pretty good. I want to say
Michaela Denny. I want to thank the people from ballyhoo hot sauces, onyx coffee
yeah, but somebody sent me from Arkansas this frog in nice. Little coffee. I want to think spring heel, Jack, hello. Maybe go for that
Spring Hill Jack coffees, which really very nice, I'm excited to try it up. The
chocolate. Sparrow sent me some coffee,
and I am going to drink all of it- an never be the same after soliciting coffee from people on what you could all this coffee. He did solicit coffee he's. I did yeah, he solicited coffee last week and people say
shitload of coffee people answered me- and it was really incredibly nice and also check out eating out with Nadia White- that there be competitive eating, show, I went to go, see her eat with a budget.
Other competitive eaters at a place called big, Mama's and Papa
This is where they made the biggest deliverable pizza that exists
tell you. What is fuckin' devastate
Ingle awesome pictures there, interesting. Indeed it was maybe a long
for pizza little bit, I I am sort of turned off pizza.
This is actually going to do it. Well, they towards the end of an eating competition. It all becomes a motion, you gotta eat it with your hands and it kind of falls apart. It got
It got pretty brutal, identify as follows. On Twitter, at Henry loves you and Marcus Parks had been castle. Follow us on Instagram with doctor Fantasti at Marcus Parks had been canceled the number one and follow last podcasts and left at all the horseshit at LP on the left,
Thank you. So much for listening, hail, yourselves, hail, Satan again help me
Let's do a Magoo, stellations and anything else put coffee. If you
I said 'cause, I'm bloated up
you have your fine, you don't need
What do you need to choose Tamisha I need I need guns send
you know other ship those anymore now you can damn Democrats are doing believable right, you can't even ship guns and if you feel like me and Ben need anything, you can send that to last podcast on the left Po Box, one thousand eight hundred and seventy long Island City NY one one, one, zero one. I need nothing
Transcript generated on 2019-11-15.