« Last Podcast On The Left

Side Stories: The Curtain People

2019-10-31 | 🔗

Ben 'n' Henry read your Creepypasta stories: a military werewolf, a witch's curse, a child sees mysterious figures in his room, AND MORE.

TRIPLE L.

Get started by going to ethoslife.com/sidestories and clicking on “Check My Price”.

"This House" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

"Dark Walk" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

"Cryptic Sorrow" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

"Cool Rock" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

"Lightless Dawn" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

"Chill" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This is the loss, is on the left side. Yeah did your free up? She was murdered good one, easy way to start a shell. Well indeed, it sounds like a great greyhound bus ride, good way to start a conversation. Yes, indeed, actually cornered, my mother when she was a little girl. You know what an intro movie it's great sweet little guys it's spooky day. Isn't it is. Day, but you know what this also is side stories. This is side stories yeah, we got Henry in studio, Henry Jack, O'Lantern Sobrowski,
We're sitting Meet to Maine and having a great time knocked out a bunch of my teeth. Nice make my pumpkin cost doom more convincing. I love it. Yes, indeed, everyone, I hope, you've had a great spooky season so far. I saw a lot of costumes already last weekend and you know I'm going to say for men that are thin. You know what the costume is. What Joker you have to be very slender. I saw one. I saw one fat Joker and then we had Joker that may be happy I'm. For me, in the end, Joker would be fat. Joker he's happy. He's a comedian yeah If I'm seen Joker you wanna see right next to him. That's true long story! Long the guys are. Eight, so I'm going to be, let me try to be as explicit as per
Well, it's not that I don't believe in the paranormal or or do believe in the paranormal. I like to have an open mind about it, especially on the show, because you have goblins in your apartment, but this I mean, but to be honest, 'cause I've been such a like a repellent to ghosts and ghost don't come to me. You know, like all right experience, some spooky dookie stuff, but nothing like really significant. I've never really dealt with anything truly spooky been. We are areas of and scary neighborhoods I've been an old the band in schools. I mean to be fair. The scary neighborhoods that you're walking through all of those people think you're a cop and they all are there repel by you. I am very intense. Yes, you make them ten. Yes, because again, I got. I have a thirty to walk right and again, as you know, being a short person for rage can't wait to be. We have a short person. We're gonna Spock was speak with this week We can actually reveal yet I can't even talk about this is really exciting. Well, speaking of short people, you know who I saw Henry Elton John. He short
you don't see it. I think that he approved honestly. He seem to be as wide as he is tall he's cute. He is cute, he's a perfect sphere, but alright. So I was dealing with all of this. These paranormal thoughts- and I are you- don't 'cause on the show up to a point. It's something I did something. I play it up I like to. I want to expand my mind. I want to accept the paranormal into my life, but I've never experienced it, but then I lost my stupid keys and all that bullshit happened genuinely spooked? Yes, and so I am now like in my house, and I don't really know what to do so. I've listened to several people's advice about how do you handle a no easy spirit right. I didn't understand any of this because it like I did. I was always afraid to give in What does your house just smell like Mary, Ann Williams, living room now? Is it just full of burnt sage's match other horsehair magic rituals, different magic ritual?
There's a way that, like 'cause, I still believe it's from the inside out. I still believe that when I did the rituals I did to get heroes reborn. I fucking like something about it comes from the inside right, but this was like an exterior force. So I listen a couple people and I just straight up there like nicely ask that entity or whatever the fuck. It is to give your belt back. Uh huh right, yeah. Where is your bugging belt so like you're, being teased in middle school again, and you just have to be like give me my belt back, give me my fell back in line with somebody whips it over their head like Nelly whip it like a helicopter, you know it's a good way to equalize ground with bullies in twenty one thousand, nine hundred and ninety mean, I know what you're saying make gun noises. No, that's that's sad! that, if I just did my hand doing even when you don't give me my pencil, the sad thing is, I think, if you do mine uh, what do you call that,
our user. Looking like you just jerking off, I think, if you're in my pocket- and I see I got it and take a minute to someone- you'll still be expelled from school because you're thinking about it and you're, not a lot of thought, guess what, though, but can no schooldude yeah, I'm expelled, I'm a bad boy and work at the ice cream store all day long yeah. I don't need a job. I don't need parents out needed future. I got ice cream in my mad, your shot gun, but you guess what we, turn into a real shotgun illegal turn into a full career. That's very dangerous! That's how you call is twenty nineteen. So what I do I said: hey. Ever in this house. First of all, hello, you want some nug right. I went and got a incense burner. About birth little Nug on it right as an offering right sat in the space. I said you can do it every want to, you can move should around. Please do I'm going to put out a camera,
Proof right, I want to do this, but please give me my belt back number one and number two do not scare Wendy like leave when alone, and so I went to bed. That's a good sleep yeah. I got that yeah. I woke up in the more and what happens to my fucking bulshit go through. I was like is the belt. That's my puppy that whoa underneath my workout clothes, I do have a drawer of workout clothes. Now, okay, okay, let's brag yeah, but in there's no reason for it to be there. My belt was at the very bottom of the drawer.
That's goes all right there. It is definitely good, literally pulled out of the short when Natalie outside, but we won't be here. When was the last time that you opened your workout clothes or should I do know you work, I'm not saying that you don't bodies with body is brought to you by five days a week in the gym, not his body you're, not really selling planet fitness to anyone. No, I do wonder: when did you open up the door last it possible again and I'm not saying that. Oh you got stoned and I know you had your house whiskey and then you took your belt often through it. Random drawer. Maybe it was in right before a moment of Cordis and your It was not thinking I read through and then you just throw it in a drawer, and you said I'm beyond a good adults here, it's in the drawer, because sometimes I do play a lot more man with Natalie right from from from of of good health. She loves it well, I've discussed. Well! You know I had my own horror story this weekend, but Elton John concert.
You do not hammered, and then you were outside of an amphitheater, and you said you saw a line of people just outside of any, but the interview with and you have to work well who so we're doing right now, I didn't ask anyone they'll John Shirts, Elton John number. One is amazing, so yeah, of course, he's fucking amazing. Well, not Of course, I'm sure there's still some skeptics out there, but my horse, rodeo ordeal was, I got tickets light the I'm like an hour before the concert. Could you just need to follow the line of people into a stadium you'd? Be amazed what you can find if you just follow a line of people, I'm so I'm so she signed it, the trains to duck out. Well it or the Elton John Concert, so I'm sitting section. Sixteen row g seat, five and you know what happened everyone as soon as I walked down, he's singing Bennie and the jets for once he does not we have a lot of articulation on him. He was doing good when I certainly are, and he can hit the high notes well, who needs those notes and
so. I sit down in thirty five Henry and my my but barely fit. And the man next to me started yelling, because I almost knocked over his beer and then stood. How would you feel if someone bigger than you came in, or you know what you do number one is no make the noise number one, you get the twenty four ounce or tall boy bud light. You don't get the draft beer at a concert They are offering twenty four ounces of pure nothing but solid, lick. Well, nothing, but liquid gold bud light yeah you get the twenty four ounces. I prefer draft beer, it don't matter smaller in size, much beer, so not that over. In the first time I stood up to applaud after Benny and the jets they damn near. Torched me to death. It was like, It was. It was horrible, the seat, your drunken state, I was not drunk and I was entirely sober and they chased me from my seat and I had to go stand in the aisle and then from there they kicked me out of the aisle and I had to go to guest services, and I said I don't
let's see, there's proper that I could fit in men and then she said We have some ideas seats, we have one hundred and eighty eight. So what's an eighty eight seat and she said it's for the american, Disability seats and ice yeah. You know what, according to the eighty eight I am disabled 'cause, I'm six, seven, three hundred and thirty five pounds and that my friend me to sit in the eighty eight seats and I watch Elton John. Do a great and I cried and cried you homer Simpson yourself to three hundred and thirty five pounds? I don't know what I don't think you should be allowed to receive. Disability benefits, just Becaus you stopped doing. The treadmill like you promise yourself. You would already know in machine and just add more vieilles, you pretend they don't still have that rowing machine, I'm not saying you don't still holding the room. Thank you, but there's a difference between having something and do you think it's like owning a gun again and using. Then you
in a gun. Exactly that's correct, rowing machine safety. I keep it unlocked a locked up. You have a careful but anyway wretch that I do have to stretch, and I have been stretching quite a bit but that was my story and you have to check out if you get a chance, the farewell tour for Elton John yeah stretching with your performance style. Yes, indeed thank you for the free commercial for Elton John. He needs it buddy, because those shirts, by the way you know we talk a lot about shirts or forty five dollars fifty dollars and then also you know when he has- and this is something that you haven't had to deal with: Henry Wigs, a tall tax, double extra large shirts, five extra dollars for a double extra large, that's normal though no, but they don't charge. If it it's a baby baby shirt they charged up the if it's a small, they charge the same as if it's a lark which, because they're charging you more because they don't want you advertising for Elton John yeah. They don't want me as a fan. It's cute for the baby to have the face of Elton John on it. It's cute for a slender it a twinkie. SH man too. So
enter into his local saloon with Elton John Shirt on. So we can remind everyone what Elton John used to be like the kind of man he used to enjoy your score early. I've heard the term honor before sure sure that he had is the type of man that Elton John enjoyed. You like the firm bottom, but he's It's a big top there you go well anyway. Nonetheless, Halloween, it's Halloween, that's the most important thing. This is so I'm so scared. I'm so scared I don't know hello, Halloween is upon us and we're going to tell you guys again. I want to say thank you to the fans of submitted some fuel listener. Stop salute with we're gonna get to sit, we're gonna get through some of the stories right now, some of them true, some of them less than true or apps, but also again, let me just before a get us in the mood. I understand the music pop music. I just want to say. Yes, thank you for the information. I understand the music rock music
It's not just some haunted music box that came out. The crept. I know that it's real music, I know apparently- and I but I now agree- several people- He said several things, so I've heard the love song by Henry Mancini. That's what I've heard. I've heard that I've heard it's the theme from Doctor Zhivago. I've heard it's from some techno song. I believe it's called the of the illuminati technique. The illumination technique. Do you know what it is? Travis it's like getting DD it's like the a little naughty illumination technique. It's techno I've! Also you people You guys will say anything well, I do think it's from 1970s film love song. You've never seen it no and this is a boomer trick. We got tricked by a boomer. This is a trap there's another trap like what he did to our million the environment. When did it economy, a truck, that's what this music box, yes in the data plane in a rock what they did and with that three day at long we can get
all the war back in the day one all right, okay, but that's that. Yes, that is scary. But yes thank you for the information. So yes, indeed, but this I'm gonna say each one of these has been thoroughly verified by our team of experts younger by the other. On between we, are technically a team of? Are the elder millennials? I read every single story: I'm gonna read tonight to puffin uh. How scared was he puffin was pretty scared, I think it's just 'cause you're also doing it in the nude from the toilet. Yes, you always looks at me with immense amounts of confusion when that happens so guys again, let's set the tone, I'm scared of you right now. Look be more scared. You bich whoa, that's for men and women. All right! You be We know you're trying to make bich illegal in some places, but I ain't going to let him do it because it's a fun word to say well sure
difference to a dog, perhaps sure yeah. But what I'd like you to do? Is I like to go? I got this new. This is a free advertisement for thing, called an auto reminder, this thing mill on? Listen you have. And so lazy yeah that you, grind your own weed, I'm harnessing science I'm here sing the powers of science. It's like harnessing the sun to kill a bunch of ants or if you got a magnifying glass killing a bunch of people. Ok, so I went and got the dice up. I've been now layering between sativa, leaning hybrid, in a sativa into one single joint put some kief in there right, save at the bottom of your grinder. Get all get get all that get get that magical right right, that's been calling key frank, magic, put a little bit on your lips to make your lips all numb, it's bad for you, but it's good for you at the same time. Right click keep it down. Okay, I want you to go get yourself.
Some of that fucking nurse put it inside your lungs smoke. It don't vape it it's better to smoke it. I know some of you are trying to fight smokin in technically. Maybe in a way they say weed might be bad for you in the long run, but in the end you know it's also bad for you but bulletin ahead. Well, yeah, if anyone's ever compared. Anything, that's ever been bad for you to having a bullet in the head, but that's how we're all going to go right? No, that's now. All of us are going to go ahead and very few are generations going to choose to go like that because were braver than the last generation. Choose. Suicide were braver than the last generation, but the generation before them, I think, was quite brave new world war, because they they made they made the economy; they they made the atom bomb break, that's bright, very difficult to do what we're going to get in town since we're going to get into some phantom fat, Dick Cheney. So remember. If you're at your office tell Carol to go fuck herself, the expense reports will get there on Friday.
But Church Dolby down to just the one I'm going to do it as well, because I'm on a button up shirt today. Yes, you are there's one just for this one button at the very bottom and the end of your shirt. So just covering your nipples, so your fucking boss can get off your ass right. Allow the cold Rath's from the office go underneath your press, men and women like jail, green dress at the Oscars member. That should be invented. Google images, because no kid so get yourself in headspace, remember again: you're vulnerable. You will be murdered by someone or the government let's get creepy all right, let's get crazy with it! Here we go. Henry, would you like to start it off a q? Alright, then scary, It was a little scary. You do have some good jump scares to that. Our friendship is scary. That's not so scary, the human faced hermaphroditic demon listener, pasta written by Mallory,
in Kansas City. Thank you. Mallory from Kansas City tried the barbeque stuck in rush hour traffic. Thirty five. I was listening to last podcast on the left, Henry Ready listener email. Describe unsettling encounter on the side of the road with a human faced cat, my blood ran cold and my heart Phil The dread, as old memories, flooded my thoughts. I'd once lived with that human face cat. I was thirteen years old. I painfully awkward only child with parents battling through contentions divorce. In some kind of attempt to comfort me, my father brought home a stray cat that he found wandering the streets. This cat was unusual. He had long white fur with rusty orange bots, bright blue eyes that were slightly crossed, and the disgusting knows with three black freckles on all his tone was too big and it hung out of his mouth. Let's keep. It is q as
So far, so good, his tail took a ninety degree turn just a few inches from the tip he was under elderly male with fuzzy screw him that was clearly visible, but most distinctly. This had had alarmingly human facial features. I named him Steve a human name. A human face. Cat. Okay, I move with my mom. Into a rural town with one whole, stop sign that are worded cat Was my only friend out there, oh shortly after the move Steve went missing. I was devastated after weeks of via storms, historic flooding that nearly destroyed our house. I knew in my heart that he could not have survived. Steve is gone forever know exactly. Three months later, I woke in a cold sweat. I dreamed that Steve came back I was confused. There should have been a happy dream. It said it felt like a nightmare, I ignored the feeling, impending doom and tried to forget it three days after the dream-
I walked outside and there he was staring at me with those crossed blue eyes. It was the same cat. Same same spots, same nose with the same freckles same tongue, sticking out at me same bend at the end of the tail same creepy human face. There was something different, though something we couldn't explain. This cat was FEMA no fuzzy scrotum insight, lossed the scrotum yep, which is happens to men? It does some good, be careful. Absolutely! You can get that I need to get a duty, not yeah. We welcome the cat back, and you are home, we laughed about our gender confused, I think it's p90x, never mind. Yeah tea id X, like the terminator Oh my god. I thought I ordered some one of those. It's one of those like Teague, lady, like porn film. Oh my I was frequently left alone, while my mom worked two jobs, the cat eye,
It's adored now made me uncomfortable, I hated being alone with it always staring at me with a human face. What are you where? Have you been? What happened to your fucking balls? I noticed unexplainable things happening around the house, small things at first like a missing belt or brief glimpse of a dark shadow, then bigger things that were harder to ignore things like lights, turning on and off by themselves, door, slowly, creaking, open and suddenly slamming shut. I started experiencing terrifying vivid nightmares night after night waking up in tears, silently screaming, as I was completely unable to move paralyzed in absolute fear. My life was miserable. My mom remarried, and we eventually moved back to normal civilization, the darkness lifted. The cat went missing again: oh no, I'm not thirty years old. For years. I've written these experiences off. It was just a cat with Chromosone Ull abnormalities and the wild imagination of a bored kid. Then I heard you talk
talking about another person seeing this human face cat and I can't deny the complete and total terror I endured with that monster. I I now feeling obligated to warn you all. Do you encounter a human this cat in the side of the road turn and run, do not invite it into your home. Oh man, I don't know, I actually think human face cats are quite quite cute. There were some human face. Dogs people were sending pictures of. I mean, I think, that's weird too. It's nice to have a animal, but also with the human face you can feel like. It's not sad or pathetic. To just hang out with that creature, I I don't. I don't care for them. Well, I've seen them and they do seem pretty haunting now between I figured out what happened to the cats bowls. You see, that's that's where I'm scared, yeah because they're just floating around somewhere and was never even had-
all it was just some four or maybe with some birds or something like that. That was down there and they said when they make not cash rate. When they neuter a cat. Do they don't take the balls yeah? They do that's the whole thing, so it could have just been scooped up by another family and then been neutered but then it also seem like it was missing. The other part two, I don't know well very good. Very scary stuff and what we have to do now, is put on our little bob. Barker hats and say remember, get your in tools, spayed and neutered? Yet do it because of what parent would happen? Is we had a friend who has a chihuahua and they didn't get the dog? spayed or you kidding, realized that the pushy becomes filled with gunk and it becomes all like the eggs turn into like this liquid, slurry that actually gum up the entire hole and they literally had to go in and remove the whole pussey. This is completely true. No, I got your stamp. No, I know
because I wanted my pair of chihuahuas and before you get them neutered yeah, it's you gotta, get him! Do it and also your old women too. If you ever banana that hasn't been neutered, you gotta do it because it was a nightmare and we had to do it with me more that is it's not a problem when I had to go, and we had to uplift that whole posse about her, it took two men are shovel and of the civil war surgery count she's a zebrowski. She's got Franco, she's uh, you're, a Franco, that's what that's there, the other name you could have been part of the family. I don't know I was a part of the family. Your grandson, you could have been part of the family, was a part of the visit of row ski side of the family. I already was but the Frank goals different, because I was a part of the family. Okay, It's just. This is coming in from a dude named Dan and I just think there's a fun story, so it's it's called the poop but of stink woods. So this is great good serious stuff. Now this is kind of serious. Ok, so here
goes two years ago, I had it all a beautiful fiance, a high paying job in advertising. That's it! That's all. Yeah in the in the industry that is crippling this country absolutely, and they are. He also had an apartment overlooking central park in May in Manhattan, so we got a fiancee job in advertising and a book in an apartment overlooking central park. I was a young hotshot brimming with sex appeal and confidence. That is until that, fateful day, my Lambeau, which I'm assuming means a Lamborghini. That is the common term for it. My love beau was at the dealership getting a tune up. So I hailed a cab. I would this must've been pre uber. I was running late that morning, because I slept in, I was tired from being up. I was retired for being up late fuqing. My fiance yeah. I know that feel, oh, my God, an her two and two of her supermodel friends wow. This guy is
living, the dream, wow. I wonder. What's going to happen to him? I don't know. Oh, my sweet he's a phenomenon Jai taught with his girlfriend in two of her supermodel friend. That's only to my knowledge it well, that's a quad Quattro draw. Is it is that for some, if the fourth, I think it's gotta be there's just. In the bed in the bed. I just don't I've never done or g math absolutely so they go on. I looked at my rolex and yelled schitt. I have a presentation in eight minutes when the woman, I have a presentation with when the cat pulled up. My building, I threw the driver a hundred and jogged inside towards an open elevator. I got inside and press the button for floor at where my office is before the door closed. I heard old woman's voice. Do. You have any tips, please I do like that voice activated. Please we made eye contact, she was fifth
in feet away in moving slowly with a walker. We've all been there, but you gotta wait. Not them did one of these to forget and act actual human centipede who's in front of me. Well, we were trained, we'll come out of the cabin she took. Like a fool, I want to say two light cycles to get across the line you gotta wait for him, that's what that's what they've earned for living such long lines are asking to be murdered. They want to be really do not they want to walk slow. I was, already late. So I hit the close door button and said catch the one year old bag. This guy is gonna get screwed, as the doors were closing. She pointed at me and whispered poopy, butt wallpaper the elevators started going up and I chuckled to myself, oh, crazy old lady. I walked into the conference room without a moment to waste and began my presentation within a few and it's I felt and heard a gurgling in my stomach. Excuse Maine. I said
to the room of enthusiastic faces. I need to use the bathroom, which you should not say that you to use the bathroom. If you have to leave a conference to go to use the we would say. Excuse me: I've lost a briefcase. I've left my briefcase in my cat cab sounds like you, you are. You are in the middle of some farce, like you're on your own three different dates and you're, pretending to be an advertising executive. That's bad advice! All I know is no one wants to buy anything from someone who just has to use the bathroom. They just don't I don't to think about it. Everyone has to use the bathroom, they want to think about it, so he is uh. Yeah excuse me, I gotta use the bathroom, I could feel it. I could feel but I had to ship badly and immediately headed to the bathroom. I said. The toilet at the last moment and I felt a sweet release as the poop fluid out of my butt hole. Ten seconds thirty seconds, one minute went by and a poop. Stop! Coming! I tried to flush the toilet, but the toilet instantly clog I had to get out of there pulled up my pants and they filled
in seconds. He just shat himself, who Oh, I shot myself with the office once this actually reminds me quite a bit of that how to go terrible. Throughout my underwear and then the problem is that then, with the slimy residue from the indian food. I had like the kind of weird bad poop slime. I had said he got all the inside of my pants and it made a visible Spain on the outside and there's my good khakis. Well, khakis, that's horrible! So this guy? He took off his pants. I left the bathroom, which I don't know why, but I was and he goes on. I was slowly walking bowlegged with my weiner flopping in the cool office air leaving along brown snake like continuous log of moist, get behind me. People were gasping screaming and throwing up I'm sorry. I screamed. I can't. Stop. When I got to the lobby, I frantically look the old lady to reverse the curse, but she was long gone days. Turn to weeks and weeks turned to month. That was that was ten years ago today I lost
everything my fiance my job, my Lambeau and my sweet. Of luxury. Now I'm something of folklore urban legend, but believe me, when I tell you that I'm one hundred percent real, I live alone in the forest in an f growing house made up hi own shit. Wow I to the poorest it ever growing house made of my own shit, so tell your children. Be aware, if they're playing out amongst the trees- and they see a giant house made you and they smell something foul, because it could very well be me. A stink word since ski airy stuff, indeed honestly, don't mess with older women. Now the way this new cycles going on, he could honestly just beyond Fallon yeah with that in Fallon be like well, it's still the You should know. I gotta say this is when you got it. Ok number one number one: if an old lady puts a curse on you that curses
take because they got years and years of pent up rage and aggression, she's, probably still Pist off about something from the 1950s Maybe this reminded her of when her former boss closed door on her as he went up to the penthouse to go wine and dine some businessmen and Meanwhile, she lost out of millions of dollars because they kept her. As the secretary, I would also say, it's really important to learn to seduce old women that look like Earl MA these women that look like they could 'cause. I imagine that this woman, while she was old, I met imagine she did look a look vaguely which she I don't know my grandmother, she could put a spell on you and she was polish know like she was a horse thing. She was norwegian, no, my gram
either. My grandmother is the same way all the Sicilian would ship, but I tell you what, if someone ate her good, I imagine she would stop putting so many courses on things you know. I don't know why you're thinking about saying. Oh, my relax, it's comedy. Okay, it's just common! It's just comedy well known. The one thing in life is certain: expect the unexpected well there's a monkey in the hospital if you want to be prepared for the unexpected ethos. Sure your family is taken care of no matter what happens to you even is a faster, easier, more affordable way to get life insurance to make sure your family is taken care of you weren't around to take care of them. You're in the grave, ok they're committed to finding the plan best for you and your budget simply answer a few questions online about things like your health age and to to get an instant estimate you. Mountain climber. Do you with ladders. All the time do you have target on your head. Are you
Did you owe money them up? Then Benadryl asian in just minutes, everyone is different. That's what I heard, but a healthy thirty, five world can get. One million dollars of coverage for only fifty dollars a month become a target to your family, with ethos can rest easy. Knowing the people you love are Confusing terms and piles of paperwork not included This can get started by going to eat those life, dot, com, slash side stories and clicking on check my price again get a fully personalized quote by going to eat those life. Dot, com, slash side stories, one more time make sure to visit Those life dot, com, side stories, So they know we send you live from New York way, everyone how you doing Ben Kissel here, let you know you can get hail yourself, America, online November, first and hail yourself, America, dot com go to Haley of America check out this late, of love. I think you're really going to enjoy the
you hail yourself: America, DOT, com, So here we go with the story to school, the curtain, people own from England and the house I grew up in was built after Ww2 in an ancient parish of Kent called Pennington. What name during the Saxon era signing to the twelfth century church, a short, walk up the road that was used as a resting spot for monks on a pilgrimage to Canterbury. Instead, local pull being named the pilgrims rest among the ancient history, the parishes dotted with Stuart Tudor Georgian and victorian houses and schools so you got to know the gist of how old this part of England So God knows what my house with Bill Hall, and I believe this could be the
the explanation for some of the sheet. I saw and experienced there and some of the surrounding area, but that's for another time or that's another time, my earliest memories in that household of the curtain, people, my bed used to face the window of my room and the moonlight would come through just enough that if you stood in front of the curtain, you'd be perfectly situated in the light- and this and that is how I would see the curtain people except they would be behind it every night. I would watch these perfect shadows act out. The silent scenes in my Room I know I was awake and they didn't frighten me yet they were completely silent and seem to be oblivious that I was there. I would watch them like a movie. They were always different, some of figures had hats like a bishop would wear, and sometimes there would be other objects like an alter that all have This is what I remember the most and then kneeling and bowing of some of the figures. Other people would enter
seen in some would leave like I said it was like a movie. My mom would hate thing to come into my room at night. Is that would give a running narrative with everything that was happening behind the curtain? Should pull back? The curtain show me nothing was there and she was right. There was it, but as soon as the curtain fell back there were there again like they always had been. Now until one of them came out from behind the curtain. Remember this is this is what it said. The very top of this letter said Henry you like the real one. So here's a real one if it's not real, I'm crazy, here's a real one. I had called my mom into my room like I did most nights, I couldn't sleep and the curtain, people being too interesting, not launch and I needed the toilet. So my mom came to take me to the loo and, as I got out of my bed, a small girl came into view or without skipping a beat. I watch
slide out from behind the curtain, climb down from my dresser and walk silently across my room. She was white, faceless shadow and she was where Close, like pajamas with a haircut short as you walked across the room passing me. She motioned putting some kind of gone on and then got into my bed. She turned to the wall and simply fade the way after that? I would often wake to find her sitting at the edge of my bed just staring. I was never scat, because I did not Stand that this wasn't normal this stratum; no one else could see them. She was the only one that ever came out. Thank God soon. The other cutting people frighten me. I think they were doing seems mean and upsetting to my foliage world south. I would see women weeping. What's look like argue It's between men, with lots of angry gestures, soon fighting and people being struck in the face people being maintenance cold. It was violet.
Give me the most was the begging woman. I watched as she was begging with the man who stare down at her on her knees and watched, she was dragged away, flailing her arms. I hated it. I like what I was seeing anymore and would cry for my parents to sleep in my bed with me till one night. They caved and took me in their room and, as I was carried down the hall to their room. I looked in my brothers room and the curtain. People read is window two and, as I sat on my parents bed, I was horrified to see I'm at their windows. Well, I remember crying. Feeling as though they were tormenting me because they wouldn't leave, I would squeeze I shot hoping they would disappear. But as soon as I open my eyes, they were still there acting out their horrible scenes
after a while. I did not stop seeing the curtain people either way. I was too scared to check if they were there, but I always felt a presence in that house, even as an adult. If I ever wake at night had look at my curtain's purse, just to check they aren't there, even though I left that house years ago speaking There is an adult with my older brother, about the things I saw he to relayed experiences about being watched by a girl and pajamas as he tried to sleep I hadn't even mentioned her wow. I have my own child whenever he cries in the night, I enter his room with caution is my mom. Probably did more so since last week, when I went in to see him- and he was sat up in bed looking at his window and said he was watching the Dan sing. This made my spine shiver but seeing as it is a different house, I'm hoping that these are just the Babel things have been imaginative three year old God. I hope so.
Wow second out, every school cool shadow people hurt people. Now you see weird should as a kid of course, that's uh. Do not have any of those weird kind of childhood illuminations. I remember there was, I remember being very sick. I want to say I was sick, but I remember seeing shadow people Essentia Lee Dance, in the shadows of my night light sure look up the night light for a very long time how long join five really yeah, but it was just the burning of a cigarette. Ok, no. I mean, I definitely remember, feeling a whole bunch of spooky scary things will reverse acceptable. Their brains are still forming, our brains are getting too closed up to experience anything I think were there being calcified with booze and weed all right, this story this is coming in by from Emily. Does she want you to say her name, I'm not saying her full name, there's how many Emily's are there in the world which allows million? No, that's that give,
What's your last name, I'm not going to tell you her last lose the whistleblower! No, why I needed, by the way when I was remember when I got arrested, helping that Little Manta ray Turnstile get beside an open warrant for drinking on a stoop which I paid a lot of money to live in that apartment and I think I deserve for people to drink I'll I'll. I don't matter at the time that you got the ticket for drinking on the stupid, but the cop said you can finish it. They were very sweet, yep long story short. I got a tested, and then I was just sitting there, though, before they were like whatever I was like. Ok, why is this taking so long? They said oh yeah, there's a lot of bends search. It was like I think, you're, probably not searching through the bends yeah. We just throw the Kissels eight of us in the world. That's not true! The I found one it's only the singer, Brett Kissel. From what book I don't know. If he's a new country singer, he was too. I did zanies Nashville thanks for coming out by the way, and he took a picture of, is that who is this other cancel? It is like. I in the first Kissel, and no I mean I don't know he didn't say how old is he? I think, I'm old,
although he has kids your first castle yeah, but that that's he's just cheating by making more of them yeah yeah absolutely, but no that was very, very nice, Brett Kissel check him out all here it is Emily. She said uh. She says she's told this story to a couple of family members and friends before, but she never. Thought to send it until now. So here it goes, that's what she says. I grew up in a rural Northwestern England. I had a very active outdoors childhood and played outside a lot, as the kids need to do to still to get people out I think it's going to be reading more than I would put that out. There I think, kids should be reading on treadmills if you get an active, but I can only do both No, but you I mean I just think kids need to get more time more time I, like you, know I don't know, search your mind, stretching delay
It sounds like you have some dystopian hell future lined up for whenever you have a child I'll, be leading rotating right, rear answer. She goes on to say was nine. I was hanging a of when I was nine. I was hanging out alone in a few the by my house when I saw a figure slowly walk over the hilltop. He was massive with black wings and red eyes. I stopped and stared for a moment thinking. It was a trick of the light. The slight shine of his wings made me think it could have been someone carrying trash bags, but it wasn't. You know how people just carry trash bags yeah, that's what I do all day, but it wasn't. I looked as he came closer. His face was distorted with black and silver markings. His eyes were so red. I could feel them boring into my soul. I ran home screaming after that it took me years. To explain to anyone what it was that I had seen it one of the most good memories. I have, and I have never able to explain it until I saw a picture of the Mafia man and her descriptions, my idea,
that. Perhaps there is more than one being or entity that falls under the moth man, descriptor The way it was terrified and has it stayed with me for the last- when you're ten years or so very good. She saw again, she saw a another must been, of course, I think, there's probably thirty Mothman, I really wonder what is the entity that is them off man, because I think a lot of times. What leads will up you know, we've talked about in the main show off in is the idea that you don't you universe in our conception of reality. Isaac Cumple sure, and so these things like could possibly be like multi dimensional, Things were in their world, everybody is moth man and then just kind of poke through every once in awhile. But I don't know again, it's all conjecture. I believe that the doctors are important. 'cause people that are afraid of paradoxes are people that secretly desire abs. Boots, and I think in absolutes are a thing that,
Very dangerous is a little more wiggly that we wanted to be apps a loosely that's why? When we go to Mars Henry you think about this, were the aliens and maybe the moth man worlds do they've been talking about this, since one thousand nine hundred and fifty five sucking Ray Bradbury wrote the martian chronicles not a new idea. Now we had in nineteen fifty six so, but when the moth man They come and see us. Maybe they think oh, guard hairs on their cocks really huge, really from all of the his I've right, although the fuqing biography so it's like a Pedia entries. I ok now this I had to throw some aliens in there because, as my wants- and this is also from the officer of the U S- Navy cool- this is somebody that really will. Like you know. I love this shake. You know we love our troops we have to, yeah, I love the troops. I love
Is it true? You know I would like to do a Uso tour, but I feel like we're so aggressive that if we get, if we just go to the battlefield we're going to sign up for the military it'll be like the movie stripes. I think they're going to make me admiral. They could there we go now. This is a to another true story. The lights were always out there, anyone who served in the Navy and has done enough time at sea and we've all seen him we've got. Strange visits from the lights satellites, they weren't regular aircraft, nothing on our planet, Moves away these things did they hovered for long periods in which shift their course on it. I'm these crafts were brightly lit, they change colors as they moved and most importantly, made no noise and left read radar signature. The policy towards these craft was always to log them in the bridge Log, make sure they weren't endangering the ship or any aircraft, and just carry on with business as usual. We tree more or less like ghosts. My
vivid memory of one of these sightings was during the winter of two thousand and nine. Our ship was returning from deployment Crossing Atlantic headed westward at about two hundred and seventy true at a speed. Of around fifteen knots. That's how I know he's legit 'cause. He said a bunch of sale or stuff that was about sucking this. Yes in knots, that's a navigational term yeah! It's how many links of garlic knots I ship can travel in an Italian that is just that's italian see, speed, no italian math. Absolutely I had the mid watch that night. I was training officer of the deck everything was normal and about as a invisible any Trans Atlantic passage the was dimly lit a shade of red with a faint, green glow coming from the radar repeaters, things tend to get more
and you tend to spend a lot of time either bs in with the shipmates looking towards the horizon or or for any contacts, unlike comedians, because we play chess stores books and talk about global. International affairs because comedians are on the front lines of what what we should be doing now. Comedians are more important soldiers yeah. Absolutely I just want to put that out. There is a fact just throw the there's, an idea on this particular evening. Our banter session was into goodbye. What originally looked what originally? like a normal surface contact off the starboard bow. Bearing twenty relative normal protocol in this kind of situation is track. The bearing drift on the contact, start taking radar readings and do the math to make sure we don't hit the vessel yeah. The contact look typical at first light. Staying relatively still the merchant craft headed the same way. We were then things started getting strange, normal lights on any crap
the ocean were either white, red or green. This thing bright, orange and yellow like it was on fire. We quickly notice that something was off about this object and contacted the tactical action officer at combat to see if their work they were track In the I asked if it was squawking any signals identifying who it was or what kind of vessel was the t I had no clue what I was referring to as this vessel now well within service and your range radio air raid. Our range was not showing up at all. We checked our mill Terry commercial radars on the bridge, nothing, the lights got brighter and bra You're still, my next step was to check the charts who the hell knows This thing some random lonely piece of land, a lighthouse or something now we're in the middle of the God Dammit Lantic Ocean, no land for days the lights kept getting brighter at this, It was just a solid ball of orange and yellow light. It was bright. Wider than any ship would ever be while steaming at night as the
it grew in size. I kept calling into the t ao to see if anyone had anything on this contact. Nothing as far we're concerned. This thing didn't exist. It was at that point that I stepped onto the bridge wing and took a look at this thing through the big guys are ship mounted large? Why not what I saw made absolutely no sense, you see something in the file his logic. Your brain does something where it immediately tries to rationalize what you're. Looking at this particular paste. What I was seeing was what looked to be a large geometric structure, surrounded by fire. That was too big to be a ship both in length and height My brain tray telling me what I was looking at with some sort of large oil rig or building who was their explanation. This thing had definite angles and was a massive as we continue to approaching it. The object just kept growing grown eventually. This thing looked to be the size of an office building. It still
no radar, signature and didn't appear to be moving in any direction it just stacked it just sat there kept staring at it for what must have been ten to fifteen minutes. The object grew and grew and became brighter and brighter a massive fiery building in the middle of the ocean. I remember trying to contact it on bridge to bridge at least once, but it was just radio silence, then, just as quickly as this thing appeared, it was gone. It vanished into thin air. You're looking to the darkness, an watching as a giant ball of flaming light was just snuffed out like a candle. That's exactly what happened in this case. This thing left knows evidence that had been there. No radar signature, nothing bar instruments to record it was a ghost of a sighting. As far as a to was concerned, this thing wasn't worth waking up the captain for because how long it
for him to put on his hat. Oh, my god, one thousand five hundred and twenty minutes easy. When you run deployment, the ceo gets to little to no sleep, and God forbid, if you're the officer who wakes them up over nothing story. This sighting was recorded in our deck log. The green book that we write down any and all occurrences from bridge watch. We all went back for duties and registered it as just another visit from the lights, the crew wasn't shocked or even scared by the event we just see so many strange lights out at sea. This was another nothing! So we still saw the lights night after night would get our visits state circle, the ship do their thing and just vanish was normal. It wasn't frightening was just part of the job. The noises from the ocean. Those are different story. Noise to scare the living shit out of the blue wow there. It is a very scary, United States, Navy. They are on the front lines of UFO and paranormal studies. They actually did a really interrupt
study of the blue and they found out what it was it was. It was drawer, decorative, farting, stub in France ha whoa, oh my god. Well, you can just believe how much wine is contained. Gerard lots of Gerard Depardieu. Well, my hero- he went, water, skiing, ok, This is a one where he's the giant Billy Crystal's, the gnome. No, that's not right. Giant is, is George Muricidae Jr jeopardy? Was that the one where the guy doesn't isn't that the heat in the movie? Were he pisses in a job? Any drinks it? No, that's that's a that's a bear. Grylls does is he goes out with a camera crew and what he's all isolated He just likes triggered pits. That's the thing with the bear. Grylls thing I actually watched a little bit of it, but the whole thing it's always so alone, but there is services, you could almost see it right out of the cameras, go right out of the cameras at once. While you see you see told Larone yeah pyramid that they,
at the very end of the day of my goodness, gracious okay, this story comes in from Tiffany and she says it's short and sweet like Henry Sometimes some sour Murray believe that, oh, my goodness, now I'm just thinking about Elton John after every song. You stands up and he's got your little arms and he's just like that, and then the crowd they turn the lights on in the crowd and they go crazy. I mean I was going crazy too. I speak screamin. What do you do you get mad don't draw God. Ok, I mean I'm glad you were affected. I forgot how many great hits he had their all hits there all he left a bunch out. He did leave a few, although he hit the big ones, Okay, this is coming in from Tiffany. The dark, I have always been afraid of the dark I don't know if it was this. What do you think about the dark Henry like a dark room? Yeah refer to the dark, oh
from you know in my home, I'm not afraid of the dark. I I don't really fear the dark as much as what's inside the dark, but I very rarely get freaked out inside of a dark room. I have a sensory deprivation tank good gift certificate. Jackie gave me that I have to you soon. Oh my god. What's the point Can you feel it dog? You got Cbd D lotion, they put the water. Did your feel the difference between you and the fucking liquid, but does anyone make you're, not drowning yeah. There's got to be some papers to sign or something yeah It's fine! If I drown, I mean, if to commit suicide in tank. This, like in separate sensory deprivation tank company. I kay- and I guess that's my real liberty- is an American all right. Well, Tiffany doesn't like the dark. She says I was always have been afraid of the dark. I don't know if there was a triggering device in moments in my childhood or preformed infant brain that created this fear. Perhaps some ingrained in humanity from a time before language has created this fear and so many what a beautiful sentence that was, it's possible
I remember, as a young child, avoiding the dark patches between the hallway lights, when I would run into the kitchen for a glass of water at night, refusing look into the blackness of they are exposed windows on to the dark knight that encircled, my house, my neighborhood my world as a young adult living alone. I always kept a light on the kitchen light above my sink and hanging paper. Lantern in my bedroom. Be careful, though, that way hazard. Well yeah, I mean it's. It was an electric one. Okay, well, I hope so. I like handles, but you gotta be careful with them yeah fireman will tell you that's the cause of ninety nine percent of the fires. Is that exist everywhere? Fireman tell you anything to get lane. By the way Henry. What's going on in California, going to be careful out there, it's dry! Oh, my ok, so she's got a paper lantern in her bedroom, Softap enough to sleep through, but just enough light to chase away the. In all, except the very corners of my room. Once I woke up
middle of a stormy winter night to total darkness. My power had gone out. The darkness swallowed me and no matter how hard I tried my eyes could not adjust to the abject blackness. My body prickle. Do my body prickled with cool, sweat, my stomach? hard, not fear, held me tight fumbling through my bedside drawer. I finally found the large flashlight my dad had given me as a house warming gift, see everyone wants to the dad gift. I like a book. I wanted tactical flashlight sure so that you know when you know, when the dad gave her the flashlight, she was like buddies with a flashlight, Daddy Yankee. Eighty now the powers and then she is surrounded by a by a by black. This is you're scared. The best part of the a flashlight is that if you ever get lonely, you can signal out all right search. We found the flashlight that her dad giving her as a house warming gift a weapon at a source of light. In case of an emergency that single beam
translucent white piercing, the darkness- was enough for me to find a restless sleep through the remainder of that night, but now now I love the darkness, it covers me, like a velvet blanket. I feel the security of the blackness that my vision cannot pierce. I feel that comfort that the darkness provides the seed safety of the unknown, the piece of being invisible and maybe hopefully, just one day forgotten: no so the light the sliver of whiteness cuts through my darkness. A sharp slice. The sliver is growing triangle of white against my world, the light bulb. Is my senses in my vision returns and now I see my chain around my, too thin ankle, and now I see him it coming
George. May I don't have anyone there. It is the dark very spooky tale indeed, but the drugs like I belong darling. Why do you think Dracula, but they were turned out it's it's again. This press, okay, ok, all right now. This is actually pretty creepy story again. This is a vaguely real one. Let's see what this guy says last winter in to escape from reality. For a while, I packed up all my and stock, my family's cabin in the Colorado Rockies. Nice to say hi falling into some bad habits. I need to get my mind right and get away from a certain scene for awhile. Okay, I told you what it means. I, when I was tagging the whole graffiti, I mean they keep pushing each other was me Banksy. Banksy too, there was Changxi me and him me bank, change scene about credit union, having fun with my graffiti lower. I don't know how they get graffiti on the top of the buildings,
decline their young. I don't know, but I understand bald in a scene that you got to get out of they Evan sits on a few acres of wooded hillside in the historic ghost town there, two cabins on the property, the lower cabin was built in 1920s twenties, the one up on the hill, built on my grandparents in the early 80s. It served as a get away from my grandparents for most of my life, though, since my grandma's past six years ago. My grandma has desire to spend time there in the summertime the town may have up to fifth the residents the last winter. There was only two of us myself in an eighty five old man on oxygen who never left this cabin about a a half mile down the road. Okay, nobody! my family has ever spent a winter there, because the relies on a spring, so the the line's freezing, yada yada. You got it. The first couple months months were spent splitting word. Running around the mountains with my pup and just enjoying the solitude. Well, how did you get the
or was he just look at it like a like a salt? Look like you know like he was there at the beginning of the winter or one fully solid, no phone. No in no worries man. I spent their evenings watching the sunset with a glass of whiskey in a little nug. I can't express how much I enjoyed every second of this experience. The snow started to fall in the middle of October. By the time November hit there was a solid eighteen inches of snow blanketing, the mountains. It was evening in early December that this all went down before nightfall. I hiked to the stream, where I've been collecting my water and filled the twenty six gallon jugs set them on the hiking path and through some snowballs from my pump to drain the last of his enerji before nightfall. I lost I lost track of time and before I knew it was really dark. I called rascal fall and he did for a time, but then he began growling into the woods off the side of the trail. I know this: it's better than most and I'm well aware that there are predators around so now, I'm a big enough guy- and I have my dog with me, so I kept moving forward.
Pascal eventually gave up on whatever was out there and we gave we made it back home in the pitch black. Save the porch light on snow softly, I got to work boiling water and poured myself a whiskey. Pascal was asleep on the bed in under an hour, and I wasn't far behind him a late. While reading and eventually dozed off, with the light on, while watching the snow and wind ramp up out there inside window. I awoke and total confusion to a symphony of baffling sounds, and it took me a second to get my bearings. My dog was losing his fucking mind at the window. Beside me, the win I picked up in the snow fell fast and heavy. There was a strange Tink Tink Tink noise coming from the kitchen area in the wood steps outside groaned. If someone were walking off the bottom step, what I gather myself enough to realize what was going on. I jolted upright and turned to look at the front window towards the stairs. In that moment, I could have sworn I saw a figure
just out of range of the porch light and slide behind a tree. Casuals could be soon my just under two years old and he's the friendliest dog you could ever meet, but I couldn't get him to calm down even a little. Every hair on his back stood up, and then he was snarling and gnashing of teeth the window and following something with his eyes that I couldn't see it in Irving, to say the very least I jumped up and ran over to grab the twelve gauge but on the way, something caught my attention in the kitchen and the bottom of the have it near the sink. My grandpa I placed little hooks to hang a series of coffee. Mugs are probably seven or eight in the hooks on the top seven or eight on the hooks at the time, but while they were call hung there motionless one swung wildly and was hitting mugs hanging on either side. I stood in
weird for a long moment, ignoring my dog, snarls and snaps, just watching us, this mug continued to knock into its neighboring mugs Ting Ting Ting. Every hair on my body stood up right, as I turned to grab a shotgun and I felt like, I must be dreaming as a loaded, a cartridge and snap it shut. It was breathing heavy and took slow, deliberate steps towards the front door. Will trying to calm rascal it was no use. I stopped and looked out onto the storm through the front door and it was snowing so hard that it couldn't see anything more than ten yards past the porch in the snow. I took a series of deep breaths. Use my hands to the knob and as a twisted the handle and pulled the door open. There was Enormous crash on the backside of the cabin and the lights faltered for an instant Rascal immediately fell silent, jumped off the bed and hit by my legs visibly shaking. I must've been being furiously at this point too, but I had no what the fuck was happening out so I swallowed hard and stepped out into the cold. I grabbed the spotlight it kept on the porch and
did on. I yelled in the storm that I had a gun and if anybody was fucking with me, they better leave. When I satisfied that nobody was out there, I decided whatever that crash was out back wait till morning, okay, I put on some music and stroke rascal until eventually fell asleep on his head. Yeah hi helps you get closer to okay, my phone begin to relax? Something happened. It's still chills me to think about rascal snapped upright and let us low and low growl watching some crossing the living room. The goosebumps I had in that moment were legendary rascal stood up and Portishead still growling or whatever he was sensing, and then it happened. Beep. I couldn't place the sound at first, but then finally, clicked that I nearly fell out of my chair when I was a kid in my grandparents were staying at the top cap in the rest of the family
sleep at the lower cabin and instead of yelling down the hill, when it was dinnertime. My grandpa installed an intercom system between the two cabins and that's exactly what the noise was. There's a few problems. First, the power to lower cabin was cut for the winter second, lower cabin was securely padlocked and, last but not least, the Fuqing Intercom hadn't worked in at least two years None of this crossed my mind in the moment Beep He He I can hardly stand up to walk over to the small Intercom box, but eventually stumbled over to it and without thinking at the time talk button and basically scream that there's anybody the bottom cabin fuckin' with me. They better be gone before. First light. It back and waited only a moment before I heard the sound of someone keying the talk button on the other end it just held it didn't say a word. I tore the plug out of the God
wall turn every light on the cabin on and sat in the middle of the living area. A bottle of whiskey and a shotgun. Will I chain smoke cigarettes until the darkness turned into a in the snow. Subsided was, the scariest night of my life. I look for footprints in the no but found none. I still have no explanation for the crash in the back porch, I went to the lower with a shotgun and it was still locked with the power still off the property snow, lock from October to April. So I checked the main road for sled tracks. Nothing I think it happened every now and then all winter, but nothing is intense or scary as that night. But then, when I recap, this my family, my grandma got stuck on one detail. She laughed told me that I handled it better than she would have, but she wanted to know which coffee mug so that was that was swinging on the hook. When I told her as the New York Jets mug. She went ghost white. She bought that mug for my grandpa on a trip to New York
and he used it everyday. When he was at the cabin in the summer it was New York Jets Van how that's the scariest thing of all his soul too much direction. I think it's a great show. I love that show. I think that that man re, Is it the same way all of us? What minus the sick? I would got. My babe wait, I will never do yeah. Would you find your eyebrow whiskey? You wanna be careful because at some point you just forget why even started getting hammered in the first place and then you're just hammered with a shot gun. You got to be careful there because that's not good gun safety. I it legitimately. Would you strip myself in the total income? I just miss all right. We go one more cruel, reaping noodle, each, the but yeah I mean I gotta tell ya you gotta get hammered if all of a sudden, your inner starts going you just drink yourself. You can drink the ghosts away. Yeah I mean you can
drink to go, see your family away; no still there, no, they become ghost once they say: bye, bye and you're like when the daily like home alone, but you're an adult here Dinar. However daughter you did well drink drink myself single here we go, this one is called so there's, no there's no real name for it, but it's written by MIKE the USA, he said, please only to me is MIKE from USA, MIKE from USA, it raids a few years. Go. My friends and I went to enjoy our spring break in a remote lake in the southern part of the US, where read, isn't even legal, we brought tents hammocks and of ample substances to future ham like a robot, it's a hammock. How much now, as we Well go. We will go camping, hammock, camping, going camp With that, I pay it's a ham, it's a hammock to hammock hammock, weird
So what that's? What it is? That's the scariest of all the reading comprehension. It can go! No! That's about reading company brand, you all! We brought tense box this ad. Course ample substances to fuel our week of outdoor fun, as we unloading, beer from the cars to our campsite, a US army corps of engineer truck rolls up and the rain leans out my This is Agere, but by my VIN Sasha stared back at me through the mere reflection in his aviators coal. He informed us how this could turn into something very sexy or very gross you see, but to make love this entire camping trip. I don't know yet he informed us of how to pay for this site and gave us a map that that's probably a sex
Now. This is how you pay for this site, yeah well body. I want to see the bottom of your ball. Oh my. He then narrow his gaze and said in his Boomhauer, like accent, what Boomhauer sound like he says. I hope you all do bring know, dangle alcohol down honey, I'm running all day and all alone out in that shooting even allowed That's perfect, that's working! Well, absolutely so he's like a open, bring Noelle called down here that she didn't allowed. Ok, I swallowed deeply all right, y'all have a good one, which is exactly what you say when a cop tells you that you can't have uh something you say alright, but yet it I don't have that change his gaze at me as the white truck idled away slowly, but the whole exchange was off somehow, but uh forgot about it is the group began his descent into debauchery and set up the tents the next day. Town is my friends got groceries. I went to the town
history museum. Why not? It turns out that Al Capone had a hit. In the area and rumors of his hidden incriminating evidence and and rumors of his hidden incriminating evidence in the lake had play. The area since permission. So there's a lot going on with their with Al Capone. Is this about her Aldo Rivera? I don't know, I don't know if you have any open the ball. Of course everyone remembers that so he's finding out about hidden incriminating evidence. He said I thought that was exciting and wondered what could be in the lake guns, honey hooch I needed to know more. I went to a low over, in spite conversation with an older man asking if he knew about the legend of Al Capone's treasure what he told me which, pains me forever. He said it was one thousand nine hundred and fifty four me and my friend Johnny with on finding that treasure. Nobody knew what was in them alleged crates
Johnny and I had a plan. You see you with a certified scuba diver, the war and I had about, we went Well, we went out later, but foggy night and tired around Johnny. This is gonna get good. He good hope he died. The rope to the crates and tug the rope. To signal me to polar up. I would sitting there in about waiting for what seemed like forever I anew is oxygen- would be getting So I began to worry, I said to myself after I finish this here, Beer Anri first cigarette I'll, put him up I'll, pull him up as I drank and took the fog got something heavy. You see some, in deep inside me said that this ain't right and we need which it out out of here, I started pulling up on the rope with the Doobie, an amount that it felt too light with it came up. The end was all frayed and bloody, as I turned around this is a turn around to see the engine and get the. Out of there. I saw something in the water thinking it was
Johnny. I waited for him to swim over but soon realized. It was something else. Then dozens of Umph serviced all around me their glowing red eyes cut through the fog. I was stunned by fear that I felt a slimy hand with fingers on my shoulder smoke stung my eyes, so I couldn't take a game. So I couldn't take a good gander and it is as it is. I come you're, like an alien, so I took a gander at it yep as I turned around, to face that all dripping horam about which pull their cars in oncoming traffic. No no people are. Jumping out of their office windows like a nine hundred and eleven brute boom our x, southern drawl? This would hope you all didn't bring no alcohol around here sitting in yeah I mean I on here hang on. I feel
backwards into the throttle and whatever that thing was fell off into the water, the old man had a solemn look on his face, as he drank his beer. Next to me at the bar I said: wow, that's quite a tale, not quite believing them, but no. One thing stuck with me is odd: what the things, what the thing is, what the thing said is the Zach same thing that we were told by the stranger Ranger got it yeah whose motions into demeanor were almost reptile, like I told my friend What I had heard that night by the campfire they concluded it was bs, but the other guy in the group who is also bacon mushrooms with may agree that the wording coincidence was pretty spooky, God they're all up yeah after a bit of campfire tale telling two friends and I went well for a night walk and took by the lake as not to let our dank fumes disturbed the nearby campers
well, I hailed richly I notice the problem hammered in high. The rumble of a pickup truck grew as I as I concealed the joint thinking. It was the ranger. He didn't see anything behind us and continued to smoke once the drunks once trucks, noise faded as it turned around. I noticed a pair of blinking red lights out on the lake. I tap one of my friends on the shoulder to look but before I could say anything, the Grainger exploded out from under the water, like a missile, the red dots in the center of his mirrorshades blinked his if he had Constr. Man seeking thermal vision, his hands and feet had amphibious webbing and We had gills on his neck as he collided with us in just to the ground. He said it and even allowed. I blew smoke in his face which seemed to stun him long enough for us to get away I'll, never camp a pro Michigan State ever again, but something tells me that Al Capone's treasure story is The cover up for something much larger, because I saw something on that amphibious
rangers uniform something on settling something that would stay to forever a german word, two swastika, the patch german text underneath translated to prohibition, officer unit, sixty nine thousand six hundred and sixty six four twenty. How is he making this? Why, when the army core of engineers have a base in You know where, though I wanted answers. I know find them or die trying part one finished. Well, that's part! One yeah, but well honestly, it's a cool idea for a script. It's literally just the bits, but yes It's not seeing it a creature of the black lagoon, but not six yeah. But it's like that. That's no movie! I love that movie. Scrimmage again, we could do. We could do for two episodes of these so sure we had hundreds of submission. So if you didn't get yours read, we read through pretty much all of them and there Absolutely we just had it pick and choose and a kiss when I just randomly. We both have like uh more just randomly just randomly choosing
that side stories, l dot, potlgmail dot com. We love your fucking emails. We truly truly love them. It is it's so cool to have very creative and fans that are plagued by scary thing. Oh yeah, I have, Sorry about something terrifying that I witnessed during my time in Afghanistan, other than all the war shed. Oh wow, that's very scary, absolutely packs of roaming. Feral dogs are very common site in southern Afghanistan. They make their into bases in combat outposts, in search of food. Small children try to sell them to you on the streets, Needless to say, when I witnessed the phenomenon I'm about to describe, I brush it off eventually as just another trash FED Afghan ST dog. It all started. I would consider a typical day. We were sweeping the road for Ideson building a small bridge over the Helman River. At some point afternoon an afghan elder brought us a wheelbarrow full of goat meat wrapped in what was essentially non bread like little goat burritos. He told us the food was thank us for the new bridge in keeping the Taliban out of his village against our better judgment about half
the tune, including myself. Eight to go burritos were so sick. I am a reason not being able to take a, but every four days is Emery's have an extreme consummating affect, unfortunately, for the Suppose they'd go go as we had an issue, quite the opposite of constipation, the next twenty four hours, another story. There's a lot of do. I honestly the other Does a dookie story too yeah there was probably of the ones there, twenty five stories that had to do with acids and she could do two hundred am the next day I've been shooting. Brains out for hours since to go burritos now is my shift to conduct fire watch and patrol around outside the tent, thing I will always remember about Afghanistan is how beautiful and full of stars the sky was so in Afghanistan is extremely rural, the homes made of mud and other materials from the Helmand River, and there is little to no electricity because of this there's no life. There's no light pollution and the sky lights up at night with millions of stars.
In colorful patterns, I have not seen anything like it before or since nice we were saying that very small patrol base within the size of a children, soccer fields called combat outpost rankle. It was eerily quiet that night and My lack of sleep, combined with the endless goat, burrito diarrhea, seem to have a slight hallucinogenic affect on me. I took a ammo Box, a use, the toilet to burm on the edge of the outpost, the tops is berms are lined with razor wire, the other side of the Birm was a long band and mud house with blown out wall. It was in the middle of my twenty, third molten lava schitt of the day, and then I heard it a long along rumbling growl I jumped off my makeshift toilet. With my pan. So at my ankles are readied my m16 scanning, the top of the berm and praying I would how to shoot a dog charging at my exposed, Dick and, but I saw instead was still frequently visits. My nightmares, a drooling be
with glowing yellow eyes. So bloodshot they looked as though they were bleeding was crouched atop top the berm its head poking. Between the razor wire and it only patches. For Anna completely hairless head the little fur. It had It was oily and matted black and grey. The animal had actively leading gouges all over its body like you would see on a bear that just bought another, a substantial pool of drool was collecting under its open mouth. It was bigger than any dog that I had ever seen, even as a former Newfoundland odor wow, this beast look closer in size to a bare butt with bony thin legs, an huge paws sunk down into the fine afghan sand. Its claws were black and long like something you'd see on a bird of prey, I completely locked up. I've been in plenty of firefights and other life threatening scenarios during my time in country. I never just locked up before something happened to me is that creature stared in my eyes my heart was pounding.
My body was frozen. I don't even know if I could have pulled the trigger if a charged at me after a couple, more low, guttural noises. The creature started backing up into the shadows, slowly disappearing. Until all I could see where the yellow eyes suddenly the eyes vanished. I could feel my body unlock the night time bugs and other ambient noises kick back on again, like somebody threw a which, when I finally was able to move my legs again, I ran back to my platoons tent. Looking over my shoulder and back at my at the berm. Every couple steps I ran into the tent, pull my platoon sergeant. What I saw he told me in a couple of body: he's going, to go, walk the perimeter and make sure dogs were trying to get into the outpost. We walked for almost an hour training our flashlights over the into the night. The only trace of the beast found with a large puddle of drool in the Birm were experienced by standoff with it. I touched the drool with my glove, an the liquid was viscous and slimy, or find me the drool from the movie alien, but I would burn you. Okay
that's the whole problem with it yeah my buddy had a good laugh about it. They gave me a bunch of schitt, told everybody in the platoon and saw ghost dog. I eventually came to the logic conclusion that it must have been one of the feral afghan dogs that we see every day. Maybe just a large How fun this sleep deprivation made it more in my mind that when actually was Next morning the sun came up and, as we headed out of the outpost village in a convoy as we left, the gate drive along the Birm. I saw a little girl with greasy black hair half in the shadow, standing in the space of the blown open wall of that abandoned mine house, as I drove by only her head turned to follow my truck my body locked up. All I could do was stare her her dark, yellow eyes ice. It's a very it's cool, so werewolf. Indeed, man did. I love
Kerry stories. I'm so sad that Halloween is over. That October is over. I know that for us it never ends. Stick in the ever ends. Fine and I we keep it in our hearts I made, but the sad thing is it isn't necessarily out of it said, but it you know, the crazy thing is now it's already Chris season. I mean there are going up to Christmas song taken as soon as you see them, taking the skeletons down at your local pharmacy. It's all done. I can get him putting up stockings folks. We can do some push back on Christmas. You know. We systematically, and I mean. Unfortunately, this is just how it is to make an omelette. You have to break a couple of Santas. We get a cup these mall Santas. We string them up when we set him on fire. That's not. I know you don't, and I think I'm going to send it to us are the ones who are killing Christmas they're. All crazy. We find ones that want to die we find one they only wanna die. Consent forms no, but wonder would like cancer ones. It would like long rap sheet.
Have you seen the documentary about mall Santas, yeah they're all draw criminals. There said they, like anybody, likes having somebody sit on their knees, but I'm not going to get because I'm certain that we have mall Santas that listen to the show. I am not certain about that. I hope that we do if you do write in again. I want to hear your mall Santa story. I almost did it. I could see that of time. Where time almost I almost did. I was pretty desperate for cash, but I would say this you know we just we. We line up a bunch of these, these willing sacrifices and we I'm in front of a Michaels in of a Joanne So we show that were not fucking around and we show them we're willing to kill these humans. What do you think will do all these precious decorations? Oh my goodness! Well, that's a good point. Not I'm not against the Christmas Christmas should be twelve hours long. It's just, I would say, Why don't we? You can start pushing it, putting Christmas decorations sure it's once a month, you in a month, because now this is Thanksgiving month. I
There was a got. Halloween hang over period that allow the the functions of following to continue to November fifteenth, but the problem is: if you are Thanksgiving person, you love your family like to go with a lot of food. I mean you got a big family and I love Thanksgiving Thanksgiving, get totally screwed 'cause Octobers big time. Everyone loves to everyone, loves, Halloween and Thanksgiving Christmas is trample it all over again. So it's you know it's kind of tactical flashlight of it, but yes, it does which is good again when the power goes out yet so, thanks to all the moms and dads out there, they got their thinking that got their kids, guess that the kids scoffed at first until they need up and takes the moms and dads a put it in the v, became moms and dads instead of just put in the bay. Well, I don't know about all that, but, but I mean also, but or don't because we got too many people, it's a tactical flashlight. We have too many people on the you can run over. With the car, just six or seven cents is set on fire in a parking. Lot is going to send a message, they're always running over the flashlights with a car. How many have you ever ran over a flashlight? Has a flashlight app been run over. What are you talking about the tactical?
Flashlight show how bragging I know, but not a real scenario now scenario know that'd. You show that you can be a real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real fast and sit on it and won't break side stories. L P, o t l at G mail, dot com. Let me know if you ever run over a flashlight. Are you fat enough to break a flashlight with your own? But no that's fine. Now I don't want to know, but now man we got that we could have a. We have letters for days. We're gonna keep I'm probably still going to us, but yes, no, more creepy, pasta submissions, if you could possibly, if you could, if you could all them for not because the time is past, and we now have a many four of the future and we're gonna your creepy emails as we go away. I you know I like reading creepy absolutely and of course you can send the stories you want us to talk about to the email address for mentioned and
if you have a hero of the week, but in the subject hero of the weekend, of course, if you ever hear of the week song, you want us to play, we always do yeah. We always do feel free to create it. 'cause, you're, all very talented, artists, very talented, so we have tickets available November. Eighth for the death becomes US festival, Kissel, and I are going to do a super hyper plans. You should see the costume exhibit built unbelievers live. You would not believe. If the amount of work we're putting into this notion the nice thing about like oh, is it going to be good? Is it going to be Elton John? You know what I had high expectations and you know what he did. He exceeded them for ah is set at Lowe's at lower slow. Let's go let's limbo and we're going to be in DC, and that's that's going to be the fun part. And uh yeah 'cause. Who knows who will see in who I could fucking. I could throw a bag after Chitat. If you know Steven Miller, and you would like to have him biting his age, I would love roll beggar. Should honestly, if you guys know
Stephen Miller and invite him to the show and swear be like tell them. This is a republican show like honestly, like that, we're sue. For pro the whole administration, and we love his tactics like butter, him up say like we do like like hash. Stephen Miller Lite like people that we think that look like Stephen Miller but aren't like hot enough the like that yeah invite him to the show will take care of sure whatever. That means- yes, indeed, all Everyone will cream like varsity blues get your tongues ready got. That show I don't have a lot of the late show. No one's gonna come on down, watches tape, and you see this scintillating behind the scenes. What it's like, shooting, a live comedy special and how exciting it How exciting it is, there's going to be cameras and people will be like laugh.
You have to laugh now, for the cameras should be some more money. Yeah they'll be some of that, but also yeah. If you have an active warrant, you might want to not show up on camera. You will be on camera, that's right! So if you will, if you're on the Lam right now, you're going to want to just buy the documentary, but obviously the live session. I'll put it this way too, if you do happen to show up in costume, you're, more likely to show up on camera. So if you want to do that and you got a nice ridiculous, costume or you're a cool looking babe you're, a cool looking dude you're out there big, guys with big laughs, sure Bing, with those guys like covering popcorn order, yeah yeah sure you did Henry talk about your asshole again Henry yes indeed right and it's just quite often also speak in a special tale yourself, America, you can go to hell yourself, American, that cam November first well, you, I got the url, you can scoop. I got the url, I didn't get scooped and things when came out to zanies in Nashville this past Sunday it was so much fun and everyone loved the documentary people laugh
like you Henry in it yeah this. Is it and that's what I like to hear and yeah so check that out, he'll yourself, America dad? Can I'm still live Lear Life, like you just understand, you just understood that castle in a blackout did not purchase hell yourself, dot, com and you're gonna purchased out from underneath him right. I did do it and then laugh about how much money you would charge Ben Castle for him to get bail yourself. Dot com from you And what that would take- and there are certain urls on like bud light lime monster- that even castles, because they have been purchased in a lot- intramural season that business well. If you do have to flip up, it's like it's real estate on the the internet, who's got boobs dot com. Laugh like that person that gotboob dot com first right, and we want to love, love the fact is a free internet out there and that internet things you anything from a goat of man Mantua Tube
feed from the international space station. Beautiful it is now free that is all right, but light light monster is still available. Let's see, who's got boobs, I'm assuming who's got. Boobs is the? U R, L that has been taken B, o o b s or dollar sign. I'll do with the S first, let's see who's got boobs. You can get that I want to know, that's fake. No, that's it. Who's got boo. What you just wrote: who's got: boobs dot, com, whosgotboob, dot com. Oh, I was just saying: bewbs dot com, no just boob stuff who's got a boost. Slow. I thought you were saying: who's got, boobs dot com now have boob. Com isn't taken that books, dot com, redirects to busting camps, which is a porn site all right. There
go everyone. Thank you all. So much for listening really appreciated hell yourself hop here. How do we news goes to listen to you and you said it all before all from kidney tonight or throw all make in love so hard to get sick from physical exertion? I hope you all have fun healthy. This show was made possible by listeners. Like you, thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by
Transcript generated on 2019-11-06.