« Last Podcast On The Left

Side Stories: Vultures

2019-11-13 | 🔗

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a Mormon massacre in Mexico, a man fends off intruder with a battle axe, and MORE.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This is the loss is on the left side, yeah kids, who want to. I need to you sound, so cool now that you're in Pittsburgh, girl who cooler guy. You know how it is. Pittsburgh mean the artistes uhm and the guy that me a pussy having a seven pound dog on the no. I was wearing Natalie's winter hat, because I lost Winter, at a apparently at this stage of my balding Nis. I don't have enough of the fibrous hairs above uh keep the skull warm. You know what I'm going to have. To agree with the drive by insulter. I get it I get where I get. Where he's coming from I'm a father, that's
of a seven I'm, which is not a man, kids started seven pounds, that's true! They can. We did. You take Molly's baby, we're just recently in Marcus Parks's wedding. He did it We did it. We now it's officially they're married, but I really wanted to take Molly. You can see how she weighed in comparison to Wendy. She didn't want me doing all that, like acting like her child like a cantaloupe or a bunch of all right? No, I I think that that makes a lot of sense. Of course, Miley novel from the great show page seven make sure you check out pages seven. When ever you have entertainment information that needs welcome to side stories. Everyone I am Ben Kissel hanging out with Henry Zebrowski. Henry you alluded to it. Now, we must say: congratulations to Carolena Anne Marcus Parks. They got married, and it's unbelievable. It was a beautiful wedding. I it was really fun because uh,
do fish, eat the wedding, and so I put a lot of work into writing the ceremony. Yes cause. I knew I couldn't disappoint. Marcus Marcus doesn't leave any any sort of sweat on it. The on a table can I say that he puts it all Indians dance floor to come over and and in preparation right. So I wanted to create a hermetic magic ceremony for them. So what I did was I read two books in the process of writing his notes, oh, which isn't dumb. We do everything the hardest way possible. Yeah but I sat and I cobbled together a ceremony from Aleister Crowley These Libre fifteen and the gnostic mass. And the mass from the church of Satan. I sold these things What's the best part is that none of his family is any clue 'cause. They did it in the hermetic fashion of doing it within symbolism, but the one thing I did cut, which is
I think I liked I asked for their. You know I wanted them to give me their approval. Well, we were in, we were had with anything yeah. We were going over your notes. We were driving back, we weren't we weren't driving back. We were sitting on a train coming back from Washington D. See going over. Some of your notes. Also thanks to everyone who came out to the death becomes Us Festival in Wash in DC for the live side story show that was yeah thrill and it was wonderful to see everyone. But now you were talking, about some of the lines that were in in your speech. Originally and then had to remember. That mark is his family. They were cowboy hats. They're real Texans, they're greater real sex is, but I do feel like a few Those lines would have gotten. You beat up so it was. Nice is too whether it in as you go so there One part that I decidedly which is in Aleister Crowley's wedding ceremony. The bride is supposed to piss into a oh, my top she was a piss into a bowl.
Then beforehand hand she's supposed to either her or a chosen member of his group party. This is completely true is supposed to jerk the groom off to Tatian right until the spur to to a little cup, and then you go and take a little bit of his jazz them, and hopefully some mensural blood from the bride and you mix together with what we've described before. Is these things called either angel cakes or these things that are like little DIS mixed with flour and come in blood? And you Use that you're supposed to eat and drink of the past during the ceremony and I decided to yeah. So I decided to cut all that Becaus. This wedding wasn't in France right yeah, that's a good point, pretty sure, that's what having Clark does for every single meal, that's very interesting, so you decided on food. You decided to cut that part out. I mean honestly, it would have made for a very interesting ceremony, I'm not sure who
kiss would have appointed to jerk him off, though, because he's too His groomsmen wear his brother so there out, because this is not a pornhub world, it will me or call in and call it is one of his taller friends as well. I'm the tallest, Fred Collins, the second tallest friend Collins, a Big union guy, which is great, but he reads a lot of books he's got kind of grippy Kind of well he's got this. Can I say this guy working man hands he is a union guy. He might be super into jumping in and taking care of it, because it's like we're all union members at that point, if you're the groom's men's party, sure one giant company in a way, but I I because I don't know- and I'm not insulting you cancel now, but I don't know if you could make markets come, I I don't think that I could. I don't know how they do. I have big slow hands that are full of you know a series of fat. It's got it's got its oft, so maybe should close his eyes and pretend it was just uh
the bizarre of I don't know yeah I mean I feel like it could feel like two, especially large butt cheeks wrapped around his penis but like without the whole part of it yeah. I could see that or a bunch of ham. But also, I know because of the MEDS the Marcus is on that. Sometimes it takes a long time yeah. Well. A that's. The story of the entire podcast you're, not a patient person? No, I, so I think you'd start choking him. You start jerking off and jerking off and jerking off and then he's just like when he's not shooting and you're like what am I fucking doing wrong here right? so like you are gonna come for me right and then Mark is to describe it not just you. It's even also with my beautiful bride yeah. You I mean well that is here with the the drugs that I'm on yeah. I guess Who is better to cut it from the ceremony? That's again, you know that was barred, move now I just about it. I'm very good at reading a room, yeah, I'm very good at it, and so I know that yes,
Maybe one in five of the people in the room would love to have watched Carolina P into a bowl, but they are also a lot not allowed to say it out loud well, now that's Marcus, is wife. Now it is it's my wife, Yes, my wife in there, you can't say anything about it. Well, you know we can talk a lot of what's been going on in the world, though, because this is side stories. As I said earlier, and that's We do we we agitated, so yes, congratulations. Marcus can graduate. Carolina they're, going to have a beautiful child they're doing it it's going to be the first last pockets, the first well, actually, the the third because Molly has to yes, so we'll see not that special, it's well. It is still special. I mean Marcus, isn't Carolena's first, so that will be very special, but if they have this case, I mean it better be attractive, because life really is difficult. When you start off ugly, you know you and I both know what happens. Is you have to develop a scale which is hard one you got to get out?
there and you got to develop a skill or you end up bucket bucket bucket bucket Booker, you don't like lighting up a cup auditoriums, lighten up a university or lighten up your office only simply because you couldn't figure out your hook. Yeah, that's true! You that figure it out, because the world ain't gonna figure it out for you and it just gets harder and harder hey all day. Alright. Here we go that route, but we have let's talk Henry it's not necessarily true, not necessarily trying to sell it. What do you start with you want to start with is Mormon story, because this Mormon story is like what do you think of so this is the story of a the brutal killing of three american women and six children in a caravan of suvs that we're going from one more men, all clave to another down in the in the Northern Mexico yeah, which is right now in the middle of a massive war between the cartels and everyone there, the
Mormon, so kind of become found themselves in the middle of it or did they put them elves in the middle of it. So I a lot of people as soon as they heard this story there like what these Mormons doing in Northern Mexico. I've never heard of Mormons in Northern Mexico. It was just it was the furthest thing from my mind, but evidently when they, when they broke up A lot of them were like we're going to Mexico and then that's where for all the trouble started when the schism happened. Uh, when Utah decided to finally name a polygamy to be illegal and run, and that kind of that moved the LDS into the two sections between the LDS and Flds a chunk of them. The Lebaron family in particular, move to Mexico and started yeah family inserted. Many go gigantic. Polygamist move in there. They place want to say there's anywhere between one thousand to five thousand Mormons
living scattered throughout Northern Mexico in these giant communities. Ok now it seems to be now I'm just going to kind of brush the surface of this, because it's a little bit more complicated the daily beast, has a good article on it, and so does the Washington Post kind breaking down the fact that it seems these groups of families there were murdered by an organized crime group called LOS. Walk all raise on the group's leader are vis to l, Wag, L, Jaguar or E L Yak WAR Marquez. He ordered the hit. So this is the official line. Okay mistakenly thought that the Mormon Caravan was a caravan from. Another opposing cartel. Yes, that's one of the things that they're saying because they drove yeah the black Suv is very similar to what the what the Warren Cartel we drive yes. Now don't you think we are and we don't you think that is one of those things, though you know for a fact, you're in cartel country, there's movies about it and television shows. They don't watch 'em. But let's should know why would you
live in the same suv, as you know, fact the cartels use, because you know Henry here in New York City. You don't you don't see yellow cars because everyone thinks? Oh, that's a taxi, that's not a even if it is just a similar height every do it yeah he throws up milk shake. It should ever see window because he thinks you're driving a cab and he's got a vendetta against all cab drivers. Why not? So? Why? they choose to drive in the black Suv's four wheel: four wheel, drive one, great dealer All it takes is one great dealer to move these suv's to everybody 'cause. This whole thing is like I do not serve any side. Every You should have a comfortable suv. That's from Beth El Wag wars, outfit Splinter cell of this in a low, a cartel formally run by Joaquin El Chapo goes through, which is now, I guess, run by former Lieutenant Ismael El Mayo Zambada, which is fun so it's run by Ed Larson, the
conversion about Larson, and I am in love it Ed, Larson writer. So I check out the show get your, but the problem is that he has been listed as the guy. That is a part of the and it hall got ice. Why? Why Marquez. He is characterized in a news report in news reports as an alcoholic cuckold. So there's a lot of people that believe that there's massive fighting between the inside saying that Elwha Gatti's are basically kind of gone rogue and they are kind of super on discipline, which is why Something like this happened. Well, I suppose, when your leader is an alcoholic cuckold that might not be the best it comes to organization when it comes to making sure that people stay in line because they can just be like Yo Jack call the guy J Wire. I just had sex with your wife in front of you yesterday and now so they really responsible. It is to be the leader of a cartel, and then you a fiscal Cole, you wow yeah great. What can you do because then you appear to be weak.
That is what they're saying is. The breakdown here is that there are two groups that are fighting around the town of Agua Prieta and that they apparently they made the whole. Well, hello, guys, pull up this big announcement, seeing anybody who's traveling between these points is subject to inspection and probably going to be murdered. Ok, yeah! So there's discrepancies in the official reports, apparently there's two different attacks right. What at nine hundred and forty am an one hundred and eleven am and also apparently one of the witnesses, which was a little kid that escaped from one of the slaves came forward and said that one of the women inside of the Suv step out and said: hey. We are actually just traveling with women and children here and one of the members of the cartel walk word shot her point. Blank in the face she was booed seems like is that there is a massive water battle like the Lebaron community is grown significantly larger, while the cartels have kind of come up against them? Now, though, the Lebaron community I'd say against most human beings vice
become a little bit of a whistle blower community against the cartels activity to the Mexican and us cover, and that's the and that's the Mormon community. The library of unity is in that's the that's Mormon town: that's warming tale, okay, they are just trying to see like basically to battle on the cartel which made so the first time they did it. The cartel showed up, it said: hey, they gave him a warning. Ok, don't do this anymore! so we have to do this and that's what we have to do when it comes to someone being, perhaps on acid at a live, show you warning, and then you got to get over it because your seat us as like alien figure, but then they kidnapped the head and the like. Vice president, the co head of little bear community and beat him and tortured to death and left them on the front porch right. So then, indeed, they kept being whistle blowers, which is that was one part of it but the other part of it is that face the so this is where Lebaron Scott, the white hat on
it's gonna have their black cat on is that the liberian families are also up against the thick forming collective. That's called l, but I thought now help our son is just a. It is eight nor farming community. That is also tangentially connected to the cartels. Okay, it seems like they've, been playing the I drink, your milkshake game, with the l, L besought, the that built the lead parents. They are taking water from these farming communities in order to go. So a bunch of shit that don't normally grow in the desert growing like walnut tree instead of doing all of it. 'cause they're, big thing that they're major export is very like honey and walnut. They make on the in the communities in order to sell and make money, and I'm sure the Mormons make great walnut oil. I'm sure that's walnut oil, but it seems like they are really messing. With two powerful forces. You got your farmer, You are going be pissed off you're taking the water, and then you know cartels. I don't think we're speaking out of turn here.
When we say they do some bad stuff, what yeah We do some know, nothing I no know if you're listening cartels. Thank you for the your bravery. Bravery in Mexico. The one thing you should not do is go into their area, Northern Mexico and then start niche in autumn. I'm not blaming the Mormon family. Obviously it was horrible what happened to them, but it just see it's like sometimes you've got to assemble to the culture, and in this case, culture is cartel land and you're just I don't wanna sort of like I don't know, not step out of line because they'll tell you they essentially grew up together, and that is what that's what you're seeing here is that they've been there since the 1860s, the Mormons. So it's weird is that the cartels and them just kind of naturally have grown to a point where one of them's got to go and
don't think I'm gonna say this. I don't think that the Mormons are going to be able to out on the cartel now I feel like there is a discrepancy power here and I think the cartels might have the upper hand, because the We did whole story here about members here about members Lebaron community. They a bunch of farmers, came to attack them because of their dropping illegal wells on the property. That's out. There is a steal. Our water and good and with a bunch of rifles. She's, oh, but they have old, timy rifles, the cartel those are killing them with the Ar Fifteens yeah. If they have rocket launchers yeah the cartels you know, machete was sort of a documentary when it comes to how much weapons the cartels have. I think that you're right, I think, the more they're going to be slightly outgunned and again. This massacre was three mothers and six children. Good Lord,
cartels, they don't mess around so now, not because everyone seems to be upset with the Mormons, which is the story of the Mormons lives. Basically, yes, yes, yes, people are like we're out here so sweet at at this point around a hundred and fifty people have left the village that Rep that represents about sixty percent of local residents, so it seems, like once again a tale as old as time. The Mormons are back on the run. Hey, hey man, and they don't move fast 'cause. It's all by cart, yeah, it's hard or black suv, which I don't think they should be driving anymore man if they just flip it nice. Like you know a green, don't go please, you be sure anything other than what looks like a cartel member is driving Because, then you are going, you don't wield. We were get those Rav fours. Is that right yeah, but there is a couple of sensible, hybrid rav, four. I agree and that's good to go hybrid because we've got
get off the fossil fuel tank at opt out by so if you already have a fashion, I feel at diction. So this is a quote. This is a quote from a Taylor Langford. He is a relative of one of the victims. He says it's devastating, it's a horror. Feeling that our life's work, our life savings can be taken from us like that. He goes on to say a lot of a lot of us are at the point where we'll leave it will abandon it for all the safety of all of our family. So it looks like the mexican cartels. He sent a message and that message was heard loud and clear. An these cartels again. Six kids and three mothers. Women sisters daughters. Three women were murdered, get out of their Mormon. I guess just honestly, you can you know the Mormons. Maybe do you think, The couple cuckold situation with drag. Do you think, was going over there messing with some of those watching. Sister wives, maybe maybe watch sister wives and was like this is the single greatest thing of all time. Maybe
go over there and try to cut gold, some of these Mormons or being humbled by the lake. It would be better if you just wouldn't join. Yeah. Also they say yeah because then it's like fan, my wife can not be, would belong to anybody else because spiritually, if I marry here, she belongs to me for all eternity uncle up, yeah, okay! Well there! It is be careful out there in Northern Mexico. That's the lesson weak side stories, I think about it all the time just how care Oh you got to be in northern yeah buddy I mean that's why I mean we have yet to visit. No, we will one day one day and I hope to entertain the cartels with some of my finest songs and dances, now we're a little jester's cap yeah, just just to see what it's like just to get on the inside. We can bring the merry out your band that performed at markets as wedding, which was in a may. Easy in mariachi band, you should have seen Mark's dance. Oh, he danced watch him dance to that hat, dance, music and no one ever looked more comfortable. He loves it. He he'd done
really does Well Henry. Do you want to tell this story? Because this story makes me think of you and I don't know why it's the reenactor fuckin' h. He we have the same face when I shave my beard. Russia's. This is according to the Washington Post. By Will England Russia's greatest napoleonic. Reenactor was found drunk in a river with the severed arms of his lover in his backpack. Ok, can we say this, though, Is it fair to say it's not his lover at this point when you have oh severed arms in a backpack, as your drunkenly swimming through a river you just say it's. Maybe his enemy at this point or like lover, it seemed like he was just like. I love you once and I your arm up! I love you twice. I doesn't really, I don't know explain wow, you got the originally. Unfortunately, I think it's somebody's lovers that It's always a lover that ends up armless
in a river in the arms of the backpack, it's really it's, because you can only love someone so much that you do that to them, then you, we off their arms yeah, I mean just because you love them, so God damn much so Sunday would have been a day when Oleg Sokoloff in full napoleonic cost. Do we take? It would take his life in spectacular fashion, it's eight Peter Berg at St Petersburg, Peter and Paul Fortress, because he did these massive reenactments and it showed that he is a very important historian in Russia and he is the number one on the number one Napoleon expert in the country. This guy he's. Also, like he's he's a assistant history, professor, like he is, not just he's not just a re reenactor he's like a re, liver of history. You can tell he's the type of guy that identifies with the Polian. A great deal which I mean I understand. I understand we're all We may be short of stature but you're, wise of sight, your just because yes, I can't see over the show
there's some men, but using this tool of experience I can see past any horizon right, but this dude he flipped out. Instead, they found him in the Moyka River or the Moyka River. He was hammered and he had a backpack with this friends, arms and she offers twenty four years old, he's sixty three years old. So, first of all it nice, I don't know like that, of all that's not dice. He was used to students he's a pure. He was the assistant professor. In it's one of his students, arms. So the student that he that student got an upgrade new girlfriend my she was hanging out in the house and apparently over an argument about his kids that are older than her. She got there. Something happened he criticized the kids 'cause he's a widower, alright, so first, he's a widower, so let's feel bad for him. I don't want to feel bad because he didn't hurt his girlfriend. No, it is bad, it's very, very bad, but then shutter four times with a are off shotgun when she called a horrible accident,
which seems like it's not, it seems not really. I mean one time. One times an accident with four times as a hobby that I mean yeah when, when Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face and he all that was a wish fulfillment that was different when he shot his friend in the face with a shotgun he jumped its finger would been waiting to do since he was twelve years old yeah? Absolutely that's one of those funny stories were Dick Cheney. Is such a maniacal maniac his friend came on camera and asked for forgiveness from Dick Cheney for getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney now waiting. One of us accidentally shoots the other like we're going to have to do the same thing like we're going to have to go into therapy. It's going to be a very it's gonna be cortical innocent. Bells will be involved. We will be obviously some of dinner will hopefully take us out on some hunting expedition where you from
You lose your neon park on the words I shoot, you think it it's the the first ever man dear all. Well it you will be that will be a fun experience I'm very excited for that. Before are some kind of monster documentary Series, when everyone realizes that we're just week old men now becomes so softap, we need therapy, not therapy is bad, but that will take you for the back panel nope, it's it's and it stays shut. Yes, you are going to. I just want to say your name because he's the victim and the state yes, I go twenty four years old, so apparently they got into an argument. He shot her four times with a shotgun body put it in another room and then he had a party in the main living room like he. He was thrown a big you know, I guess a celebration. So I guess It was a hat party because he was going to dress up as Napoleon for the next Fucking day, but then he
went to realize how to get rid of this body, so he took an axe and started to dismember her drunk off her and chopped off her arms, but apparently in the process that he felt like it was pretty gnarly, so he got pretty fucking hammered and then either. Attempting using the arms in a backpack. He shoved him in the backpack, which is again I don't know man, it's not it's not subtle. No, it's definitely not, but this guy was such a history nerd that evidently the way that he did it with the axe. It was a paralleled, feed or Dashefsky's novel crime and punishment and Jeff Skis. What is so? It was like from a novel. That's We did it with an axe, and people also compare it to the in sixteen assassination of the mad monk Grigori Rasputin
granted. He was such a such a history nerd. Even in committing the worst thing you person can commit, which is mass murder, which is murder and dismemberment. He still did it with, because in the in his heart he had cited source is she, in the middle of murdering his girlfriend and apparently so he threw the bag with the arms it into the river and then believe that he either jumped in to try to push it down because it wouldn't sink or he fell in the river and literally going help like that well they found him is that he grabbed onto the side of a water taxi go ahead and, and they had to pull him up in there and he's just like. I did bad being by brand. I think he completely confessed and he found her decapitated body with the head inside of the apartment. Just there all
getting out she's, not his first brush with the law, certainly no apparently in Russia that I'm not going to say it's a corrupt country, there's a lot going on. Yes, a lot going on in Russia. One way to put it sure, I'm I'm and they got a lot of focus. Is beer barely even running their country that trying to run hours? I guess who cares? Let him have it? Let him have America, I don't even get it so in two thousand and eight apparently a student, he also was dating, he he did a little retired to a chair and threatened to disfigure with a hot iron police. Didn't do anything on the complaint, because I I guess he's a history, professor and the weight. In your works over there, not only keeps you from getting fired, but also sort of keeps you from getting arrested. As a matter of fact, not only did the police not do anything Domestic violence is not taken seriously whatsoever in Russia and in two thousand and seventeen they passed a law that often the penalties for first offenses. So
in mother, Russia, the it's not good to be a mother, because ever Bentley domestic violence isn't counted on like the list of bad things and then, as a matter of in fact, in two thousand and seventeen there, like we gotta so easier on these people who just beat up their spouses they've had it, hard for too long. Let him get a couple of shot. Said she didn't get it out. Oh no and then also so cool off and embroiled in a bitter played. Some controversy last year and a guy who can figure accused him of ripping off his paper at a public. In public speech, like you do in some presentation and response to the accusations, Sokolof jumped off the stage and started strangling the dude
I think he has a problem in the Polian rush. He is like, but Napoleon Bullies, but at least Napoleon was like winning wars and doing things we gotta heroic. We got out because apparently he called her. His whole thing is that he called her. What's it spots, he called her isabella, I believe which is the name he did. He called her isabel after one of the bonapartes, which was one of Napoleon's. Beloved. I believe that he died with his bells name. While in exile I got his lips he insisted that she call him sire, I no I'm looking at, sure this guy he's not a site you he doesn't deserve that. Also, according to human rights watch. Actually didn't realize this, but one in five in two thousand and eleven they found that one in five russian women have reported being the targets of domestic violence. But the group says the rights group says: that's a human rights watch. They say seventy percent of women just don't report it. If they are,
right the situation of domestic violence, because again they just saw for the law, often aggressor. So I guess: it's was hard. You have a in mother Russia, it's already hard to come out as a of abuse because again you have to be believe, there's a victim and then also you have to deal with it. It's just so much Horsh yeah there's piled on top of you already being abused, especially in a place like Russia, where they particularly don't give yeah. As a matter of fact, it's legislated that they don't give it up Well, you see that fish with a human face. What's that say that fish with human face you'd see that fish with human face that was creepy. I don't know, what's going on over there, that's also like they see. You know the road rage. Videos are amazing. They have like weird, the animals in all those uninhabited woods of theirs. Russia's now I would actually love to go and just see the depression I want to
Russia out to see very badly I'd love to see it yeah I'd love to see what they can offer me for help and destabilizing our government like I'll take the money. I honestly, I don't think it's that pressure, so I don't think any single government is that precious. So I would definitely come in I just want to see what I can get out of it if we could get a late night hosting job on russian television. Ok, I mean honestly, I think we would have to speak Russian. Oh, I will think it you, like you just working on River gorge and they'll. Put the subtitles in telling the read that were saying things that are real yeah, like pro Putin things yeah so, anyway, sometimes be careful with your cosplay, because some Did you take it a little too far and you have to remember you're, not iron man, you now billionaire. So if you actually do something that hurts someone you there's money to defend yourself. Like Tony stark. Does you don't
but I will say, Kurt Vonnegut put it correctly, with the be careful who you pretend to be because you are we are we pretend to be oh Kurt, Vonnegut, Oh brilliant he's so small, oh my God, Henry this is the best first date ever. I can't believe you brought up Vonnegut. I love you, You can't Jamie off tonight, you big beautiful woman, alright! Well, let's move on now this story. I this is more of a critique of medium. I do not understand what every single headline about this man's death has to involve. What happened, post more So this is from this is a local fox, eight Cleveland article, but there's a bunch of articles and the majority mentioned vultures. This is the way the article is written decompose. This body of Seinfeld actor Charles Levin, was found partially eaten.
By vultures. Why include white? Why bother? Why bother with like, if you're the family? Member of this man like you're, like thank you for the graphic information right up top, at least as an actor? He they put the credit. First, that's good point ice, so right, Seinfeld, actor eaten by vultures is incredible because they can. Unfortunately, it just makes me think, Jason, Alexander and be enough of a bump it's just that so sad about this article is that they put Seinfeld in there and I'm not even thinking to him. Now you see Seinfeld first thing that pops up my mind, Jason Alexander, which contains is obviously my spiritual favorite, really an ai cuts to a clip of Kramer saying the screaming that video that's the next level of it, then I think of Jerry Seinfeld in the
if the cars with his stupid show. The committee is a garden coffee, get him caught all the rich people and he can't understand why what normal people do any right right and then I think of Elaine Bennett. I I honestly, I I'm thinking if I have to say who my spirit, animal, is it's a combination of Elaine and Kramer. Like I like a lane, because she's spunky she's fine, but she also a lot going on intelligently, increasing yourself. As the word, you really see yourself with the word spunky. I'm still have you only have gal get gout by by haven't. No opposite is the output it. I say: gout is, I would say, is almost the medicinal lack of spunk? No, no, no! That's not true kings disease, and what he does do you ever see King Ralph. He had spunk that's just that's spoke to me- is like
I don't know it's technically closer to eyes, so we is closer to a door. I would never call you door I'd call you a drunk a you know what I'm at the casino that's punk You're just sitting in a pile of it yeah I well anyway, right and then I will always like Kramer they have Elaine and Kramer. You don't think that I would never call you spunky or wacky. You were not smoking or wacky you're, not Dave Cooley. I know not in that world. I am the wackiest guy. You know, know you're technically somewhere between and I don't mean to say this harshly, but small the dragon from the Hobbit and Wilson from home improvement. I put you in that category wow. Wow well anyway, Seinfeld actor Charles Lebanese, dead and
So how did it happen? I know a lot of it. If, if you don't recognize the name, you'll recognize the face, do a Google image search you'll find yourself a little Charles Levin and So it is seven years old his car broke down. He was moving from one apartment to another apartment in Oregon or maybe house, I'm not sure how well he was doing car broke down. He went to get some help fell down a hill, long story short. Then he is eating cultures, Jesus and his dog was in the back of the car and the dogs name. What was the dogs name? Pooh bear. The dogs name was boo. Boo, and it was a pug. This story sucks he did a lot of played a lot of tv host tv reporter uhm living was known playing the mall hole on the Brys episode assigned. Ah, okay also played Coco the gay cook on the pilot of the golden girls. Oh they're, they cut the part. Well, authorities
that he got that sad, that's the life of an actor for his brutal. The number one thing that comes up when you, Google, his name, is Charles Levin picked apart by vultures. No that's the main credit. Now, Apparently, authorities believe he got lost on his way on his way to his new home, and this is a quote. Accidentally succumbed to the elements I don't know if it's on accident, he just succumb to the elements he just succumb to nature, but I I would say, It is. It is technically accidental. It's not like the it's not like Lee at in the dune book. Who was just murdered by the desert. They just left him out there to show how there, how yes, you may think you the arrogant belief that you have control over the planet, but actually in the end the planet is just giving you permission to live there. I cannot believe you think, I'm like Mister Wilson from Dennis,
Dennis no, no, no, no Wilson from home Improvement jewel time, but you don't. Even you know it's cool time is, but I mean, but technically he's filled with wisdom and he's a big guy. You could see over the defense. No okay, I could see over there and I I just feel like I'm a little wacky than that. I'm a little wacky I well, he is is something else wacky is another type of x factor. You have to be more cartoony wacky, the closest people that I think the older closest people that I know to us: do wacky what I would say maybe is Holden Mcneely He also edges towards squiggly, evil, cruel and wet so he but he's still closest to wacky alright. Well, let's do hero of the week. Shall we do that? Henry
sure I mean unless you want to get the less. You want to talk with the woman got sprayed with a bucket of hot diarrhea, but I think that's a story, my goodness, what what okay? So? What do you? What okay? Well you mentioned that so before we get to hear of the week there's a local news program, in LOS Angeles, highlighting all of the crimes that the homeless population are committing on people, we're trying to go about their daily lives and one of these crimes was a woman. Was a whole from her car right in middle of the street. Two was barking to do it, something and you know, homeless. Man, polar in the middle of the street then poured a bucket of hot diarrhea all over her, which is also like. That's a lot of forethought, is a lot it also. It must have been freshly made if it was still hot. Which is again and if you're from LOS Angeles, you really appreciate the localis Orst Diarrhea, that it wasn't sent from a migrant family and wasn't trucked in from China.
Really made in the streets of LA right is important. Micro brewed in the belly of homeless. Man of it's really the entire story. That's it that's the whole story. I don't think that I mean I'm not saying she deserved, but in the end it just comes down to it. At all, say this as a citizen of LOS Angeles I'm. This is unfair, right. Maybe this is more of a satanist view, but I am I'm glad that in this case it was done to someone else, because it is cut down on the percentages that it will be done to me yeah. That is very that's very. A libertarian of you thinking about yourself. First, ok, no, it was. It was Robert ties you that poor woman- I can't even imagine what it's like to just read to you. You wake up and really got today's today
sorry that it's just a day going to power business and then at some point a bucket of diarrhea It gets dumped on your head. It's just gotta be. I don't even know if I would be angry. I would just be in such shock. Well, I would just that's life. That's what I would say like I, you know again, it's it's there's a little micro lesson in there, What what is the micro lesson stay in the present enjoy the present? If you don't know what your future holds for you, yeah. You don't know when a homeless man going to dump a bucket of diarrhea on yourself, but also fight total fight fight them. Don't get into this up a good position. I'm again, I'm up even the woman no coverage don't think that she even knew that they are but it's hard to fight someone when you don't know that you're about to be in a poo poo battle, yeah exactly it's going to happen to you and then, when it does happen to you it's too late, when you got the PO
if Miss, is that a house and a miss is that a house- and it comes right after you at some twister interested in in this case a poopoo, NATO all. Well, let's go, do hero of the week, so this one now this is a story that I know Henry if you could switch places to with one person this week. Might be this week's hero Michelle be really Cooper with Bradley Cooper, yeah, just changes to check it out, your man just be able to slap some bass with Jeremy Renner at his top of the line score according studio at the Hawkeye made. She was a black hawk. What's hot guy yeah, these one of the worst Super heroes, because all he does is like he's he's good with a bow. It's like Jason, Voorhees he's the we is the one that's in the closet.
I don't have all of the superheroes we openly gay, I'm not quite sure no well. Jeremy Renner is on is on the down low, but he he sucks. To so many bass players in there playing the so. You have to watch it because, like sweet, riff jazz, because your closest friends, jazz jazz through seven, really each one of them gets attorneys like you, guys, won't render and they're like. What's that mean it's like I put peanut butter in the back of your balls, I'm sure. And I thought I like make it clean it. That rate is a super food. Peanut butter is a super food full of protein by the way learn this in Washington DC as well. I talked about this on Abe Lincoln. Stop at MIKE Pence is boyfriend works at the state Department. Do He's got a regular door. It's not just like a bunch of like just a harem of bullies that or media Lee folded into Hollywood. I think that he's got a regular. I mean he is still a conservative. I think he's just got one on the dl hanging out got a job at the state to
he probably hangs out with Lindsey Graham's boy, and I don't know they So we have a lot of fun hanging out talking about, honestly when you're with MIKE Pence when be gay. I imagine he's a blast. Maybe I bet he flips. I bet he It's like we're, like clogs, Is there a little bit so rapey like it's like one of those like a sun hat, like kind of like Nathan Lane in the birdcage I do I could also see MIKE Pence going to will get to the hero in a second. I could see MIKE Pence going totally the opposite direction. Full on violent btk meets the dad. From children under the stairs or people under the stairs. Full GIMP suit, whips chains and, like the safe word, you have to say at thirty. He lives in and finally, he'll stop. He's definitely has like a spanking thing, because he he's definitely constantly punishing himself for being gay under the I is if his fake he calls his wife, Mommy, okay, Michigan.
Fends off intruder, with what, with a battleaxe. Evidently there was blood everywhere. The guy's name is Ben Ball and he he used a replica battle axe to chop through an intruder that intruder was a thirty three year Alex Love Rawls, who is facing a first degree home invasion so bowl. He has been wanting to do this for a long time. He's like come into my place. I dare you to come into my place. He's got this replica battleaxe that he calls quote his baby. He used it sort of he sleeps with it feeds it out of his nipple. I've no idea, but he used it at one thousand. One hundred and thirty pm, this dude roles, he showed up at his apartment thinking. No one was there and all of a sudden he was repeat it, so he repeatedly knocked on the door. He said the door opened and
is what blow this web ball told wood tv. It's literally would tv. He says the door opened. I grab the axe, then step step head just got so into it. He was so happy to do this. It's important to practice your self protection mode inside of your home, Kenny, Choi, the actor I did with Wolf Wall Street, incredibly fucking town to do explain to me that he run drills with his taser that he had in his night stand where drills re. So he knows no matter how drunk Yes, sir. Whatever happens the middle of the night, if you step to wake his body moves into muscle memory, grabs, taser chip, zip, zip, zip, immediately, very strong, gotta get very hot rods, and this guy and ball the picture of him. Did you see the picture of him Henry? Yes, he is so classic. This is def, A man who has a battle axe he's got a long beard, he's got a goofy little hat on. He is
This is why everyone's like nerd you're, a nerd- you like you like a medieval stuff, do not mess with people who are fascinated by the medieval time period, because obviously they love everything. That is wrong, with humanity. Everything looks like people getting tortured, people get that's what every and just involved how to better kill someone. He looks like a steampunk waiter Would you get? I think it's a great idea? Yes, so am see the door opens Ben Ball. He struck the intruder at least once torso, with the sharp blade before the two continue to fight in the apartment. According to ball, there was a. There was a it was. There was a bloody mess everywhere, the suspect fled the violent affair, leaving a trail of blood. That's when the k, nine officer,
that's what the K nine officers, those little dog goes, that's how they were able to find him. He spent the night in the hospital recovering ball says he sometimes person he sometimes for two. The in events. When he's not working- and I don't know if you knew this Henry when he's not work. At Applebee's, so End goal literally, is a steampunk waiters. He works at Applebee's and then he does make combat, and in this case it turned in to combat. This is this is what I had to say said: I've got a double headed carbon steel battle. Tax that was home made by a gentleman who has since passed. That's why I call that's what I call my baby, so don't What's with your waiter at Applebee's cuz, you never know good work to this nerd,
get out there showing that are nerd behaviors can branch out into real life actual skills. I choose all of the training that he put in that typically training him with the size. Forty two pants so swing around and battleaxe inside of his own home. That is what it so. Don't let anybody fucking tell you that you should. Have commemorative swords or decorative swords. You can have that Gandalf, stick in your house and use it because it again you never so when you're gonna need it in an emergency. You never know you never know, and it's important to be very aware of these weapons and know their actual capabilities, all right, Ben Ball race, your your! love the way good job, buddy, good, good work way to protect your castle. That's what you do! Buddy put you! line body all right, so I have a couple response, I want to read a couple of audience: I'm going to quickly read a couple of listener letters. We have some really interesting responses to our questions from last last week. The soda but hadn't closed. So if you had listened,
series, I say: go ahead and check it out. I was very happy with our work on this series. This guy is endlessly fascinating and yep, and last week we asked the question of now. I had a clerk at the wall while in Hale had this habit of stringing up sausages in his cell to they would grow. Moldy weed, eat him and have furious diarrhea and vomiting issues right yeah, and then he would take food and pack it inside of a milk carton till it got fucking rancid like weeks on end drink it and he throw up way- so we asked some this Christ to selling yeah yeah. So we asked our listeners very feedback about what is this behavior illustrate? We got. We got two great yeah this that I wanted to read zero number one, comes from J, I'm a clinical psych doctoral student. In Rochester NY, and I think I might have a guess as to why hat and did the seemingly discussing things he did in object. Relations theory, essentially a theory that describes your problems.
Related to your relationship with adults. When you were a child, a person's behavior can be labeled in three main categories: holy: go anti libidinal and libidinal, an anti libidinal, behavior someone's view themselves as bad, because their parents were overly critical, are demanding the individual abuses, others and themselves in a way to project their sense that pay them self or no good. In the collected or abuse children these now we have external behaviors can manifest in all sort of ways. One example I tend to think of child in a play therapy case study who would blow mucus out of his those and rub it all over his face, while growling at the therapist, whenever he would get a two emotionally close to the therapist, it's a child's way of saying don't get too close to me. I'm no good and you won't like me: it Adam's case. This is a vulnerable man, projecting his negative views about himself into the world, probably in an attempt to protect themselves from dangerous environment of prison, so he does things
disgusting and quote unquote, hardcore to send the message that everyone had better stay far away from him right. Okay, when we've talked about that before when it comes to prison, do you just wear a duke? uh a dookie hat on the day. One. Do you just start playing with your own turds like you do have to act, crazy crazy to go. I mean when Jeffrey Dahmer went to prison, although I don't think he needed help actually did help, but he gained way in member that's not. He would like be like I'm going to eat you, like all that like he leaned into being a cannibal, but he did that. Prison. Then, meanwhile, was doing like heavy therapeutic pudic work with his family, which is Interesting because remember the whole book that his father wrote. Where were so, he was still living His two lives like most secure most serial killers, love to do. They love the idea of being several people at once, so that no one can put a pin on right so here's another one from K. First, I should clarify.
Not a psychologist, but they are a therapist, often work with reentry population. So here are some thoughts there, other reasons why someone incarcerated may engage behaviors and most would consider alarming to get the best to get the best answer and why hadn't Clark I keeping an eating rotten food. One should ask him directly and says the answer sure. Without access to here are some general common reasons. Stimulation incarceration offer, provides a lack of stimulation and prisoners may resort to unusual means to get it. Who's, with better coping skills who usually find less disturbing means, but those who are more horrible, even those with significant time to serve, may struggle to do so to increase autonomy, sense of control as a person, or I might not have a choice on something
basic to my autonomy is choosing when I eat sleep, talk, etc. Keeping food a desicion and seeing it rot, a concrete result of my actions will increase my sense of control, three social impact. These behaviors may drive people away, which we talked about for resolving boredom. I may have to stare at the same wall every day, but watching food rot is something would potentially be very different and unpredictable each day. Facing the food, can be further entertainment. Going back to the point in simulation. Oh, my I mean honestly thank you so much for both of those letters really informative. I guess when you are watching the same wall you're, seeing the same paint chip chip off that same wall watching a gallon of food rot is like your version of improvement. Yeah. I really decided you got. You got your main characters in there. You got a wacky neighbour, that's just a rotting hamburger. I tell you what it's,
more informative than that presidential debates come on, come on guys for Jay Leno, absolutely correctly correctly, accurate, that's a term, and I want to write. I want to read letter because it came from a discussion we had about mall Santas, and I thought it was very illuminating. This will this letter is a yes. The title of that letter is this letter is a I wish. I was a mall Santa there's, a higher key of Santa's top of the chain. The performing Santa the ones you see at the lamest of all the Christmas shows that every indian casino in the American West below number the Santas that things like the Dickens, fair or the various Christmas parades where don't have to actually interact with the feckless children of the I honestly will also put this is Henry Rescue speaking I would put the Santa. Today's parade is like the President of Santa then I think,
So that's a huge get for a huge gap below the people below the Deferre Santos. There's mall Santas, now gap between those first two in the mall Santa is cavernous, but they are not the basement of the spectrum that would be the visiting Santa, and I was one of them visiting Santa would typically be the fattest guy. Working for the city of Santa Clara, and that was me and you get dressed up about five. I am for the week before Christmas. Did you make a stop every hour at a children's hospital or preschool or any other depressing place within city limits? You'd show up, they would They are invariably give you the Rickey TIA's chair in the place and the sick kids. They were all sick kids with sit on your until you, the dreams to not have cancer or spinal bifida or some the reason why a storing Santas were a step below mall Santas. Well, the first sign was that for every kid they always put down these plastic mats down on your lap to prevent the fluids seeping out of these
Well, he said he says the term brats. I would say that there aren't. They are sick, Tildie. You're, sick children, artistic children, but it's brutal. I understand that this is a brutal yeah. The mats were never big enough to prevent. Inevitable staining from the pretty coffin liquor. That was on his constant drip out of these kids this man seems like a very grumpy Santa. I don't know what he's talking. It's a little different cancer kids mall Santas get brakes which is actually designed to get the lines back up which increases traffic overall and they get paid about fifty percent more than the Turing Santis there's actually a Santa Facebook group, and when I mentioned that I'd done the or Santa thing the mall Santas on the group all treated me like that: poor, dumb bastard, who tour the tour of the deepest it with Charlie shooting at a mall we've been assigned to stateside duty, shaving new Recruit heads- oh my God,
know how this guy got a job. You any kind of Santa Merry Fucking Christmas, he. Christmas has begun. I don't know if you've noticed it, but holiday season has begun castle. Oh my god, I was just on Instagram and one of my friends. They already have their entire and decorated. They got history? Never what's going on here? May they be buried with stock of holy in their hearts. I don't understand you know what man we've said this before I'm not going to be a curmudgeon this year, I'm not occur much in any year, I'm happy I'm wild and wacky. Stop seeing you yeah. Well now why? I honestly think that hadn't Clark is wack okay, but we don't know what Mr Wilson did. We don't know what Wilson did before he became the neighbor. That looks, over the fence he may have just been here Vietnam. That's why I'm in Mister Rogers yeah. I think we devote that about. Mister Rogers, though I don't think he was a sniper, I think they said he had like
skills or something which would be pretty sweet, that would actually be very interesting, but whatever I have one little other story, I want to read because we're getting back into we're getting back into aliens real soon whenever we have a relaxed fit coming up this week, but the week after that we're getting back in ufos. We want to read this people to get people back in the mood. I have a situation at home that I honestly don't know who to reach. How to so. Naturally, with Henry being a member of move on, I thought why not read reach out to you guys, minus sign is two years old and ever since he was eight months old, he was able to say a few words. He is insisted that an owl has been in his room at night in the beginning. He would make the owl sound and point to ceiling, but more recently he's been saying: Owl pointing at his ceiling and moving his finger around like a propeller, so we asked him helicopter. Would you respond with a frustrated? No every time
He then makes the owl noises an hits himself in the forehead while making a scared, whining noise. I then asked him: does the owl hurt you and he knots? This is terrifying. I want to press my, sun for more answers, but his speech is obviously still limited and it frightens him to talk about it. We have a better. We have a video monitor in his room and I work shift. So I'm up in viewing the monitor till about five, a m with nothing weird occurring on film part of me wants to just shake the thoughts away channel my dad and assume it's nothing but years ago I watch this silly. Real, fake, fake, fake, real Docu movie called the fourth kind. With me a job of it, of course, I remember- was great movie yeah granted that movie. Garbage I disagree. I thought it was fun yeah, but they did say that it was like a document but it was not a piece of real events. It definitely was not, but it's a consultation of real events, but after a quick Google search, I found that there's a massive theory. People seeing owls at night no rooms only later to find out through hypnosis that they have been a and they've had a reduction expiry.
Rooted deep in their brains, which I have heard about very much. A whiz Whitley Strieber right about this, so this is very interesting. Are you owls are connected to ufos and graze? Quite often so I'm and that's haunting ship. That's very scary. It's scary reason. It scary thing about having a kid that is horrifying. I mean kids are bringing everything into the house, so you gotta do down the got a doctor, I don't doubt it duct tape him down absolutely all right. Well, thank you all! So much for those great letters and again you can always email us at site stories: L, P, o t, L at G, email, dot, com, that side stories, L, P, o t, L S at gmail dot com but we always love getting emails. And, thank you all so much. Thank you all we got the adult swim festival that is coming up this Saturday. We will be their undoing. What good question no idea will be boring. The people waiting for electronic music in the hip hop people yeah. I mean, I think that we're doing it like
four forwarding in the afternoon and then come to that, but then afterwards stable is there some kick, but there's hip hop crazy bands. All this kind of shared people, I've, never I've. Technically I've not heard of a one of 'em. No, I have sort of anyone, Ed Larson, he's our go to music guide, zip, lock us performing, which is fucking sweet, that's great, and so I'm going to go I'm going to be cool. I'm going to hip I'm going to be like doctor gonna, be like awe stitch. One doctor Seuss choose born you're gonna, be like doctor, evil, dubbed the conduct and the conduct of the compact and you're. Just doing the same with this, we've talked about how awesome powers is just for jokes, the owner or an hour and a half. That's it. Will I'm going to a lot of fun? We still got tickets for a Buffalo show on the twenty third to check that out. Also, we might be releasing some more tickets for our New Wallin show yeah, and I want to couple announcements for normal show. Please work awesome. So if the, if you sell see fit because a lot of fun and we're gonna get so
audience footage and be awesome if you made the live show, because I wanted like we love to have a feature you on the live, show the a lot of fun We went over some notes yesterday with the director the live show, and that was the big note was we want more audience participation, so yes dress up as a serial killer as an alien is whatever the hell. You want to dress up as and just have fun with it. Yeah be fun ship and next we also have a very big announcement coming that you, we will be telling you all about next week. Yep absolutely will keep you informed and will go on this crazy ride will He to be on it all together, so yep, see everyone very, very soon, Portland Maine at North, Hampton Buffalo and then December fifth, printer on to December. Six were in Detroit December, seventh were in Columbus and then December thirty The last show of the year we are filming are special New Orleans, so come on out, for that and things in my liver is already tired. Oh my god,
I'm already flashing, my breasts for drinks and beads, and things like that. It's great you get a ticket now The whole cities really changed. No kidding really change. So live your life like just running errands and you don't know you're about to be pulled from your car I'd getting hot load is steamy Fuckin' ask milk poured all over you, and then I want you to love, knowing that. Currently, you are not covered with the worm and corn riddled feces of a man. Who only smokes cigarettes and drinks ripple and eats whatever can or is given to him, you're not covered in so you just laugh. You laugh knowing it and you know what, if you are covered in a man's full on Duke you, kinda gotta love it because in the end, if you're having problems, you know what your enemies can get close to you and then you're going to find out who your real,
yeah because only they will help you get the streaks of that juice out of your hair yeah? Only real friends and that's how you know who your real friends are? That's a great friend test app. Absolutely speaking of great friends, thanks to everyone again who came out to Washington DC, we're going to keep on do live side stories and we're gonna can Can you too they're going to get better they're going to get better? I mean not that this show was bad, but they're gonna get better. Oh, we didn't even talk about the fact that we talked The Tolly on doctor fill the entire time, the last time and she's a lot here. She is in adults, the tell you he is an adult: ninety, five years old nine. I did, I think, she's a solid forty. I think so. Also I'm alright. Everyone thanks for let hell yourselves health center, but still Asians hello. Man all right buddy. That was. That was a lot of fun. Yeah and remember you gotta suck that dick 'cause. They know I'm going to suck it for you man. Well, I don't know, that's I'm not sure
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Transcript generated on 2019-11-20.