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Oh the from the New York Times and WB. You are Boston. This is modern. The stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host magnet Chakrabarti, the Bob Morris used to be a self described curmudgeon and dog skeptic, but a minute dachshund changed all that Bob writes about it I say an affection, two player with four feet and a wet knows. Zachary quintile reads this week's essay he's known for playing spot in STAR Trek any starting now in M, sees NOS four or two

the nine lb long haired miniature dachshund at the animal shelter? Wasn't the kind of dog imagine walking in Manhattan she was a little lapdog and a clean sheet too small, for someone is insecure and image conscious as me, and her name was Zoe to cutesy. I put a deposit down on her anyway A form to fill out asked: why do you the dog. The answer should have been simple companionship, but it was more complicated than that. I always swore I'd, never get a dog. In fact, I'd spent the first. half of my life as a dog demographic. Why haven't a maybe with so many needy people in the world? One divorced friend. Has spent the last six years, lounging around two intimately with a slobbering golden retriever who is as devoted to her as her ex was not another single woman, I know, thinks that if her maltese snack

exit someone, she's dating he's, probably not right for her talk about snap judgments. I once had a date with a handsome man and his handsome portuguese water dog who lures interested in each other. They paid no attention to me, you don't First and friends said dogs are unconditional love, okay, but what about earned, love and common sense. When I first met IRA, who would become my spouse, he owned, or perhaps I should say was owned by a beloved Karen Terrier, that would lunge and bite whenever we tried to leave him and would refuse to go out for walks because he hated the noisy city streets. With a push from me, I refinery put the dog. What carrier, bag and flew him off to a better life with a loving stayed home owner in a quieter leaf. Fear city. For several years. It was just the two of us

in our white antiseptic apartment living, our pet, free and child free lies of stylish travel, creative careers and limited family responsibility. Not that I wrote wasn't a handful of his own, he was off so vulnerable voluble and shall I say, doggedly affectionate that it scared me. When I started saying I want a dog, it was half in best, but it became more serious as I queued dogs on the sidewalk beagles in particular. Irish shook his head. You, I have a limited amount of affection to give. He said without irony. If we get a dog, all your affection will go to him. and there won't be any left for me. Maybe he was right. I've always made it a goal to not be too needed, even by my,

aging, mother and father, but last winter was a tough one. After my parents deaths I've been in conflict with my brother, and I was facing daunting tax and career troubles. Ira was troubled to maybe a dog would change things or at least cheering up. But the question did come into my head: was there something lacking in our lives as a couple that I will the dog to fulfil its common enough for the presence of a baby to change the dynamic of a marriage could adopt. Do this. Thing, and then there was IRA's issue which I couldn't shake did I have enough affection for both him and a dog. in the spring we started visiting animal shelters but there was only one breed. I imagine owning a beagle, and there weren't any available. So I start Looking on line, also in vain

the day in May. After I reluctantly put down the deposit for the mini dachshund, I was tortured with recrimination. Why couldn't I make myself? One tur is the problem I ran asked. You don't think you can care for it she's just not the dog. I imagined losing my freedom for a whale like Africa, groom before his wedding night, she's too small. She just to gay. I was sitting on my computer and a cold sweat searching for beagles with the guilt of a porn attic IRA was disgusted. You just want something you think he's cute, he said, but that docks and he's a home. Did you think a dog is just an accessory, then maybe you don't deserve to have one. I wanted to bark at him and bite his head off. Instead,. Got into the car and seethed as I stepped on the gas and drove us back to the animal shelter.

administrator looked at me suspiciously did I want this little dog or not? Can we take her for another walk before I decide? I asked a no nonsense. Attended and rain boots took us past rows of barking dogs, many big and scary. At least to me. The smell of the kennels rank the atmosphere, fraught with desperation when we reached the little dachshunds pain. She was on her hind legs against the cyclone fence barking in an unbearably shrill tone, though she was wagging her tail. The attendant handed me her leash black and brown. in not much bigger than a ferret. She strained at it outside paying us, no heed, as she yanked with surprising force and barked at each dog. We passed in a way that put me on edge. How can you stand that shrill barking? One woman asked I didn't know, but-

Dog must have sensed my equivocation because suddenly, at a moment when I wasn't holding her leash properly, what did I know about holding the leash? she ran from us down a winding road that led to the long island expressway was horrifying. How did those the legs. Carry her so fast. I rich MR running in the middle of the road faster than I had ever seen. Him run help yelled. I need help get the car I feared they'd both be hit by oncoming traffic and imagine my happily married life about to end all because of a little dog between time. I got into my car to chase her and the moment we caught her. I had a painful stab of the It's profound sorrow, imagining a return to the hermetic.

Life without IRA that I had led for most of my adult years, with the help of a passing driver, we caught the dog, put her in my car and drove her back to the parking lot of the shelter where we all sat in the front seat catching our collective breath and getting over our shock

Ira was panting, as was the little dog in my lap, her heart pounding against my thigh and soon enough. She calmed down and rested her long snout against my forearm. After such a dreadful experience, you'd think I'd be ready to give her back. Instead, I felt something in me shifting as she curled up and snuggled deeper into my arm. All she wants is to be held. I said in a tone that have marked an hour before, and that was that.

A dog I originally disliked for cosmetic reasons, instantly transformed me into the kind of myopic cooing dog owner I had previously scorned and without missing a beat IRA found himself devoted and in love with her too With us for four months now, she's been following me around the house with media eyes that I never would have expected to find so engaging and if, as I've heard before, the work of dogs is to love and be loved, then she is doing her job maybe be a little too well twice over the summer when returning from out of town I caught myself looking for, to her greeting more than iras, and then feeling conflicted about it. Often when IRA and I hug or tussle I find myself. waiting for her to jump in and join us

then there is the issue at that time, with the sober concern of parents dealing with the sleep issues of children. We debate whether to allow our in our bed. She doesn't take up much room, but she does manage to get between us, making it difficult for us to fall into our typical embrace before sleep for now I keep her off until dawn when I let her out of her crate. She leaps onto the blankets, long black ears, with fringed bottoms flapping behind her right into iras arms to plant kisses on his face, as he cuddles with her. It feels like doing the same with me. That's how profoundly I feel we're all intertwined, it's ridiculous. I know, but then I sometimes think that dogs are and to make us sillier than we are well. They don't judge. George Elliot must have known that

She wrote that we love dogs, because we long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Certainly they don't challenge you in the ways a spouse or parent. Your child can, but in their own way they do get you to think Andrew needs a little. If you don't believe that try walking an unhappy dog at midnight in the pouring rain. Perhaps if I'd had one while I was single, it would have helped prepare me for the demands of relationship. One thing I know for certain IRA had it wrong affection, I can now see, is not something one has limited supply like money, her drinking water, it's more like a muscle that grows the more you use it or maybe it's an explosion

Nuclear fission, the other night we were on the couch with our wiggling dog, in something between a tangle of caresses and a group hug Eric couldn't have looked happier. is actually made you more affectionate towards me, not less. He said a little dog I didn't think I wanted, has turned out to be exactly what we needed. We only had to tweak remain name a tiny bit to make it work for our own self, consciously ironic purposes. Instead of Zoe, she is now zoloft and she is as good as her name that sacrifice, Quinn, told reading Bob Morris's essay and affection multiplier with four feet and a wet knows

We'll catch up with Bob and so laughed after the brink, the I love- smelling my boyfriend and I often play spelling bee together by together, I mean sitting next to each other, playing individually and not cheating. Sometimes when I open up spelling bee- and I see that you have completed a few words on your own, I feel a little betrayed. It may have happened again. I have one friend Who I will send screenshots from spelling bee of inappropriate words, then I always get nervous. I sent it to my parents or something like that me and my dad we like to play spy together, and I wish her out. I it J see, K, P, o t

yeah now run nice, I'm same is risky. The digital puzzles editor for the New York Times. You can try, spelling bee and all our games at annoying times dot com. Flash games Bob Morris's essay was published ten years ago and so off the dog is about twelve now bar brought So off with him to the studio when it came to talk to Us- and he says that over the past decade she has low, where'd his iq but improved his marriage. What shocked me after I wrote the essay was that I'd become kind of an insane Mister Rogers, when I would walk the stock around the neighborhood, you know mister busy, Don't bother me, I'm thinking of the next essay to write. All of a sudden I find CUP, literally picking this dog up in my arms and holding her like a baby, so that people can pet her face and belly

I really do believe: she's lowered my intelligence by at least twenty points, And it wasn't all that high in the first place that I could lose that, especially as a writer Bob like the fact that love has absolutely no clue. Nor does she care about any of his successes or failures. I has no idea how many walls I said in my career, and since I wrote that I say in Ireland, I see I can remember b, o passing on a show when I first got the dog, and I do member having, lie down and she was right there on my chest and our breath pretty much thinking. Even though she's much little than me, it's not. but I do have a wonderful marriage and husband and good friends and family, but there I'd always there and you don't always want to tell them about a disappointment

Knox, your self esteem very hard, I mean you know a knock. The self esteem is is a huge cause of depression, and yet this is ignorant of all of that. If I'm depressed and I come Home- and I opened the door- he's going to be there being so excited to see me far more excited than any publisher Is there an occasionally or even my husband, but that dog is, spinning she literally spins enjoy. When I walk in the Dar Right, and so, if it's a really bad day. Do you know what I do I go back close to her and walk in again and so often has also helped Bob and his husband IRA, connect. When we first got together the idea of falling asleep in time. find in an embrace was out of the question.

Because, as a certified light sleeper There was no way that I was going to be able to fall asleep with him in my arms and now, of course, I find that Even the snoring helps me And then you know, you add in a dog poo, just to be nestled up against you in to me, even if I could there's nothing else in my life, you know to have accomplished this beautiful domestic feeling. Is a you know, it's enough for me And, though, got her own last word into the last say goodbye zoloft speak up. She said good, bye, That's Bob Morris and Zoloft Bob

the contributor to the New York Times and author of Bobby Wonderful and assisted, loving more after the break. I love, spelling my boyfriend and I often play stalling, be together Together I mean sitting next to each other playing individually and not cheating. Sometimes, when I open up spelling bee- and I see that you have completed a few words on your own- I feel a little betrayed in It may have happened again. I have one friend who I will send screenshots from spelling bee of inappropriate words. Then I always get nervous. I sent it to my parents or something like that me and my dad. We like a sponge together, and I wish to out I it said, see, K, P, o t

Yeah now run nice I'm same as earth's the digital puzzles editor for the New York Times. You can try spelling bee and all our games at N times, dot com, slash games. here's Daniel Jones, editor of the modern love column for the New York Times, actually a essays about the love of dogs, but love of a dog isn't really what the columns about it's really about love between people, but we publish, essays. That include dogs. If that dog sort of Is able to open a window into the relationship and that's completely the case Bob's essay every decision about the dog? Shines a light into their asian ship and that's ultimately, what what wins the day with this essay? It's just

it's funny and dramatic, and the way that pets can reveal really is what I really liked about birds, essay and here's Zachary Quinto. I'm a huge dog lover. I've had dogs for the last. fifteen years of my life- and I totally relate to so many aspects of how they fit into a life and a relationship and I was never reluctant to get a dog. I was always like a real and actually did have a dog for years. While I was single, and I do think that it taught me a lot about how to navigate the demands of relationship and get outside of myself, and I just feel like dogs,

are so healing and they're such teachers and guides, and they think that they reflect back at us. So much boner ability and in one slash, eight kind of wisdom, and I just have the story really capture that somehow that I really resonated for me. So I was happy to be able to read. It thanks again to Zachary Quinto for reading this week's piece. You can see him now in Nosferatu on AMC, modern love is the production of the New York Times and W B you are Boston, NPR station, its produced directed and edited by Caitlin. Keith, original scoring and sound design by Matt, Reed Iris There are exactly producer are in turn, is shimmy local, Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times and adviser to the show special thanks to Julius,

men on your streamline and merely at the New York Times. The idea for the modern, La Paz test was conceived by LISA Tobin, additional music, courtesy of AIDS I'm Agnew trucker body, and I dedicate this week's episode to our late, great puppy Luigi. We miss you every day old boy pussy next week.