Modern love the pod cast supported by produced by the island at W B. You are faster. oh, the from the New York Times and WB. You are Boston. This is modern. The stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host, magnetron puberty, the let's face it dating, can be terrible, there's awkward small talk signals getting go Sarah is right about it in her as a single woman seeking men which its red by actor in wrapper awkward vena. She starts

in crazy, rich Asians and oceans. Eight, I almost gave up on dating when a sandwich rejected me, I got a message on Okcupid that said: what's shakin bacon and the only profile pictures were of actual sandwiches, delicious looking sandwiches but sandwiches. Nonetheless, Since I was feeling hungry and lonely, I decided to reply a lot of bready. Puns ensued. The bacon egg and cheese sandwich told me he needed me, and I told him I hoped I could eyes to the occasion he told me. I was on a roll and assured me that my jokes weren't, stale, He then said I was baking them crazy and asked me to be his fake out. I wrote love to be your bagel.

then I never heard from him again. Maybe I was too eager and shouldn't have used two exclamation points. The sad thing yes sadder than corresponding with a sandwich, is that I was actually disappointed. Was I too witty or not witty enough? Perhaps I shouldn't have used the word love, even though it was disguised as low, but then I reminded myself that I was rich I did buy a sandwich, in an eight year relationship in two thousand twelve. The last time I spoke with my former boyfriend a year after we broke up, I inadvertently quoted Their swift, when he asked how long are break was going to last. I said we are never ever getting back together

feeling empowered from channeling Miss Swift, I created an online dating profile that was three years ago since then, I've been out with countless eyes had more than one day with some, but no more than five days with any granted, I'm not a great My idea of flirty banter is sending someone the clue to a crossword. I can't solve. I've tried to play it cool, but that may come across as cold. I've tried the honest and the last guy went out with asked me on a fourth date and then disappeared. Reason dictated that

did not die in a horrific crash, but rather changed his mind about me. Even so, I texted him a couple of weeks later to clarify the essence of my message. Was I liked you and you hurt my feelings: what gifts. which makes me question if I am forty years old or fourteen and his response was vague, something about being in Canada, getting distracted and dropping the ball. I shit known better than to ask the reality is that if someone unexpectedly goes out of town has to work late, get sick you probably will never hear from him again, despite the fact that he says he'll get in touch when he's back in the country out of jail emerged from his coma.

Everyone says you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness with someone else. I find that notion extremely frustrating. I am happy enough. I have a good job, great friends and living near city, but I am not going to say the loneliness isn't palpable there don't wake up in the middle of the night in a state of panic

wondering if I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. This does not inspire the happiness that I am supposed to embody before I find a partner between panic attacks. I have continued to put myself out there, taking the advice that I often dole out to my single friends. All it takes is one. This is not to be confused with the one, because I don't believe in soulmates, which is pretty remarkable. Considering the number of romantic comedies I've seen approximately all of them by all it takes is one I mean you only need to find One person I met Jim at bar is in part slope. It was early fall and warm enough to sit outside. I found him at a picnic table in the back yard, where it was fairly dark. We chatted about work, then we talked about where we grew up.

I mention that I am from LOS Angeles and he asked about my necessity. I told him that in New York everyone assumes I'm jewish, my dad is, but my mom is not Jim cocked, his head and stared at my nose. Well, it's a little bit of a hook. It me your nose It's like a little bit of a hook, but not too picky broken when I was little, but I decline the nose job that a lot of girls in L are probably offered when I am uncomfortable. The valley girl in me comes and I end every sentence in a question: it's like totally awesome. Jim didn't seem to notice. He said that it was cool, I'm comfortable with my nose and that it suited me. I think this was supposed to be a compliment. He then went on to say, but my teeth are great. I go to the

just but their rotting from the outside in and there's nothing they can do about it. The words rotting from the outside in hung in the air. I was struck that he was so matter of fact about it. He said that his teeth. Really thin and that everyone is family has thin teeth. I sat there nodding and smiling and trying to get a decent look at his teeth, but it was too dark when we went inside to pay the bill. He smiled in the mirror behind the bar and in the light I could see that his teeth did look well, grayish. He turned to me and said: I'm a pretty good,

guy right, I told him. I admire his confidence. When I tell people this story, they are typically offended on my behalf. One friend said she would have walked out after the nose comment. I was more surprised than offended and I dont think he meant to be hurtful. First states can be awkward, their basically job interviews with alcohol. fact. One date seemed exactly like a job interview. I was out with a guy who works in advertising as I do, and all he wanted to talk about was the cost of full page ads in magazines

People say and do weird stuff on first dates. Another guy didn't take off his clip in bike shoes between his gate and the clicking of a shoes. It sounded as if a horse were approaching every time he walked across the hardwood floor from the bar, We are at the Bell House in Brooklyn and after his second beer, he laid out across the couch where he was sitting and stayed like that for awhile with his bike shoes propped up on the arm of the couch, then he put drops in his eyes when he sat back up the drops made it look as if there were tears rolling down his face. I asked if everything was okay and he looked at. as if I were the crazy one. A short time later I was out with a lawyer and after a couple of drinks, I had my hand on his knee and the words

I always get, what I want came out of my mouth and it's as if I were acting in a play or trying on a new version of myself, since my usual version didn't seem to be having much luck unfortunate. The lawyer didn't sue me for ridiculous. Some say the definition of insanity is repeating the same behaviour over and over and expecting a different outcome while dating does make me feel crazy at times when messaging, with a sandwich, for instance, I keep at it and hopes that one day the outcome will be different. At the same time, I also try hard to accept that it may never happened for me. I tell myself that I don't need a partner to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Then, one morning I'm on the Q train across from acute couple, who look

stretching non annoying on ironic way. Imagine that he is in a band and that she does something cool and creative. He says something funny to her and she laughs then puts her head on his shoulder when they get up to leave, he holds her hand and they just look so stinkin happy. I want to cry feeling creepy for staring at these strangers and also envious that they seem to have what I want. I get off the train at Union Square and give myself a little pep talk on the walk to my office. I won't give up on dating,

At least not now and I'll just have to hope that Mr Bacon, egg and cheese wasn't the sandwich that got away that Awkwafina in the Sarah Moses essay single women seeking man which will catch up with Sarah after the break. The.

I love spelling bee my boyfriend and I often play spelling bee together by together I mean sitting next to each other playing individually and not cheating. Sometimes when I open up spelling bee- and I see, but you have completed a few words on your own, I feel a little betrayed in sorry. It may have happened again today. I have one friend who I will send screenshots from spelling bee of inappropriate words that I always get nervous that I sent it to my parents or something like that when my dad was like the first time together and I was coming out- I think I got it see it J, a c k, P, o g jack. We hit the jackpot, panicked, yeah, Elrond nice, I'm same as earth's sky. The digital pulses editor for the New York Times. You can try spelling bee in all our games at n, one times dot com, slash games. Sarah Moses is a

and of the modern love column and had wanted to write a piece for a long time. She realized that the sandwich incident gave her perfect material. I mean it was. Funny and kind of sad and that sort of up online dating She got a lot of responses to her story and she told us that her favorite came from a woman who found her one number and left her a voicemail. I got it at work a couple of months after my piece had come out and oh, my god, it was so hilarious. He was just like weird. I'm a motor pool had a forty three year old, Manhattan, wonderful art, slim handsome guy

very helpful and will help feeling that New York is a hard place to meet people, and I thought you might like to meet each other. If you are at all game can be combined because his mother left you a message, then please look him up on Facebook and don't tell him his mother left a message, but you should quick. and can remember your secret, it was a riot. She was really sweet. I never ended up meeting her son, I kind of wished. I had met her though she seemed pretty cool. Sarah says story. She wrote about wasn't the only time that sandwiches intersected with her dating life when she was up at a lake house with friends she started flirting With one of the guys there and the last night they were there, she decided to make a move. He had grabbed a sandwich like a half of a left

sandwich out of the fridge and I noticed he left his phone in the house. I was like my you: no excuse to go back out to his ten went to his ten gave him his phone and, like basically tried to get in the tent, and he was just like now. I just want to eat my sandwich. I think you said it nicely and we're still friends like it was kind of weird, but it's fine now he's just like. Please, please go away just want to eat my sandwich, and I mean I was just laughing cuz, I'm like so I got rejected by a sandwich and now I have been rejected like for a sandwich relationships, have relationships with sandwiches, maybe Syria still dating, but she says she hasn't found the relationship she's. Looking for, if, like findings I want to share your life with, like defines your life's happiness. Like that's just sad, I don't accept that as an outcome.

so I try really hard to be fine doing stuff alone, and sometimes I'm lonely. Sometimes I feel alone. I mean there is a difference, though. Sometimes I'm really grateful that I'm alone I'm like. I think it's a hard balance. I have certain things that I would just want to have in a partner and if I don't find that, then I'm going to be fine like what does Sarah? she he works in publishing in New York City. Is that more after the break.

I love spelling bee my boyfriend and I often play spelling bee together by together. I mean sitting next to each other playing individually and not cheating. Sometimes when I open up spelling bee- and I see that you have completed a few words on your own, I feel a little betrayed sorry that may have happened again today. I have one friend who I will send screenshots from spelling bee of inappropriate words that I always get nervous that I sent it to my parents or something like that was my dad. It was the first time together and I wish her out. I think I got it see it J, a c k, p o t jack, but we hit the jackpot panicked, yeah, Elrond, nice, I'm same as earth sky. The digital pulses editor for the New York Times. You can try spelling bee in all our games at n, one times dot, com, slash games.

he's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times. One of the most essays I get is the list of bad dates. It almost always has to do with on dating and tender, and almost he's. Those essays are a little hard to take Every once in a while that list is pure gold and that's what Sarah Moses Essay was for me. I just from the moment she feels slighted by a sandwich who stops responding to their exchange of puns, which I totally felt I like, even though you don't know this person at all she's so self. And she's able to spin these horrible variances into pure gold, and here's Aquafina. What made me really want to read this one is: is a relate ability, factor, a kind of like a really depressing cycle. at all. Women in New York City tend to go through, which is just

kind of submitting themselves to these really horrible, cringey conversations and and dates. I think that there is a real fear of being alone, and I think that we do really outrageous things to prevent ourselves from being alone. It definitely encapsulates how If I d dating world is thanks again to open reading this week's piece you can see her in crazy, rich Asians, in theaters now and in emotions. Eight next week, Sandra oh STAR of. I am often asked if I am married. Sometimes I lie and say that I am sometimes I lie and say that I am not neither answer Feels entirely truthful to me:

modern love, is the production of the New York Times and W B you are Boston, NPR stations it produced directed and edited by Jessica, Albert Caitlin, O Keefe and John her ADI are in turn, is. Who is a judge? The aid for the modern podcast was conceived by LISA Tube Sadler's our executive producer, Daniel Jones. The editor of modern love for the New York Times and adviser to the show music for the podcast, courtesy of a p dot m. I'm Meghna Chakrabarti we'll see you next week.