Hey, what's goin on its bill burn is time for the Monday morning, podcast from Monday. First, my of twenty twenty two January third, two thousand and twenty two two thousand does floaty, always guided, whose turn it flew regretted the Orange dated eight for I'm. Eighty four sorry, what's going on in Scotland, on man. How was your new year your new year's is it the finals, New Year's Eve new year? If new year's Eve Happy New Year's happy new year, coming up his new year's eve, but then say happy new year. I think that's how it is better. Whatever I like to mispronounced thanks makes people who are like marginally smart feel, like their geniuses, actually

proper way to say it is the Stanley CUP final. There's only one of them. Oh thank you! Fucking Smarty code. It's a domain name! You have a good insult Smarty Cunt, Those Marty cut speaking of smart cards? Guess we're! Don't guess we're doing senses, goddamn pandemic started, we're doing Patrice, o Neill stand up comedy benefit once again, it is back after one year lay off. Do influenza of these twenty eighteen variety you gotta be January. Eighteenth at the New York City Centre. tickets on sale at New York and I city centre, DOT, org the land. listen to this line up PETE Davidson Chris Day, the final Matteo way, yeah, Monica Saunders, Shiraz. Small Cyprus MIKE Vecchio Rich Vos, how

thing is always an. the impractical, jokers and and taste buds podcast Sal Volcano and yours truly. Let me what a liner Come on down. It's a great benefit. It's what we do to help out. You know the people Patrice was taken. Care of. You know basically stepping up for I can't believe he's already been gone for ten years, but that sad, so we're not going to talk about that. Let's just plough, I had arrived it's the new year and you know what happens in the new year. You get a new outlook, you wake feel like you know what I'm gonna do this year, I'm when it get some shit that gonna get some shit done. That's what I did this morning. I woke up right. My daughter was sick. You know oh yeah,

do your dad overnight in us get sick a couple of times, so I woke up in the morning by Dubai, doubled and my son was fine, so I brought him downstairs, and I made him a little luck: almonds, smoothie, just fuckin, delicious peanut butter, sediment, yellow, and isn't all that stuff he loves. It does not want to use the straw. He wants to try to go put down. Like he's drinking out of a solo cup, and if I do Let him do that he pretends to cry, runs over the cow, It puts his head down on it and pretend to cry, and then he looked up to see if I care to Larry's. So anyway I was taking care of my son, while my wife and daughter slept in- and I don't know, took all the dishes out of the dishwasher get shit die. Forty point tell you now that debt first fifty three years a bill bar that was the right to know where we get shit

God right so I fuckin empty. The dishwasher do all the dishes from the breakfast I white down all the kind of get out the vacuum vacuum up the fucking kitchen floor go into the the laundry room this was there a clean clothes and need to be folded the ones that were hanging down folded. Those took the ones sitting in the laundry basket empty those out folded? All those fucking things took em up, there's put em all away, then cleaned up my side of the bedroom. Just like I now what now, what else can I do till I can feel ok, I got momentum here right. three days and I got momentum. A little bit of my side of my garage got painted so did look like How can I saw and then look beautiful, beautiful cream, colored wall thing. I fucking love in it and then what happens like a month later it rains

in all this rush shit from the roof of gutters that whatever just leak down my guy, this wash off. Now you can now you can see into the fuckin paid, so I'm gonna take a sponge bucket moderate soap to it today see the best I can do and then maybe put another code. Aren't gonna get a fuckin roller or get shit, don't people its new year, Kommeni get shit done that all these tee shirts that I should throw out? But I can't as if sentimental to me, I got one of those shrinking bags the vacuum cleaner, I'm gonna, fuckin opened. The thing up, sticks bags in there and then shrink racket, rapid stuff it under the bed right some fuckin get shit. Don't what are you guys doing her I'd say one drop in weight or Billy friend. Oh Billy freckles have been going to the gym, hit, not elliptical throne the weights a little bit a little bit. I've been kind of hanging. pull up bar, make my shoulders feel better

not with my feet off the ground, although I did that a couple times before I realized I was supposed to do that. Shoulder fills pretty good. I got an actor Gig come up so it's like. I I gotta get. You know I gotta be one. Seventy two outlets think that's the way they have to be at any less than that people think of AIDS anything more than that. They call me Billy fat it. So that's what I have to get down to so, let's just is what it is. That's what I'm going to fucking do so that she got it can't be one thousand one hundred and forty one. Are you fucking kidding me how the fuck is it? One thousand one hundred and forty with ten thousand four hundred and ten, my laptop Fuckin Arizona time by the way. Thank you to everyone who came out to me to show my last, who shows a twenty twenty one in Arizona. I had so much fucking fund man they just where I am because the holidays, everybody was in a good mood or something but like

I said a great time kid Funny Arizona and then making fun a Hollywood all at the same time so there was enough on this. How'd, you know it's kind of what you want to do. I feel like you're kind of stupid to but so away, and then you find the middle ground every guy Gonna give as well as he takes, and then you just have a good time for the most part I like that's how it went. But anyway, let's talk like let's talk about the Fucking College football player. The playoffs. It was representing the big ten, the Michigan, Wolverines for the first time forever? Wasn't? Do you know all the Ohio state Buckeyes they did not. have a good season they played. Like good teams in the last two of that would not stop their fans, from still probably saying they should have been in the play off, but I think

After yesterday's rosebush, when you let up forty five points to Fucking Utah, I think at that point, maybe you can say next year, but they did come back and when they also let up for five points. I will get. No. The Assisi left a lot stronger. Yesterday I tell the SAT one: that's what happens if you reenacted the civil war on a football field. the north lost that one Jesus Christ citizen, First, our Michigan just got absolutely fucking destroyed, I mean they just got fuckin destroyed and what I love about. Georgia was they were playing football. What do you mean by that bill? I mean, if you get down to the Fuckin Red zone and its fourth and three four and five, you don't fuckin go for it. You kick feel going. You take the fuckin points You give you fuckin defence, some Nokia era. We got some points. Okay. Now we stop him here. Maybe they'll go down, extend the score. Fuckin touchdown everybody plays it now.

therefore could sit and all playing a goddamn video game? And I know that I say this to fuckin death, but if you watched that guy damn Cincinnati Alabama game. I'm not saying Cincinnati, was gonna win, but do you have to hope Alabama. Sensitive, wins the fucking toss and the A Linux, but they got from the map team right. They let nerds coach. There Can team. Evidently analytic says you defer. It gives you a higher percentage right, Here is my belief about analytics from somewhere else. math. Ok, I suck at math. Great at reading people. Ok, I find people Math teams are like great between the years, but they can't feel out vibes. They don't know what the fuck is going on. Ok and if you gonna take,

the analytic she learned from when you team was playing ball state and also put it up against Alabama. That's probably me, I hope, that's thrown in there for error right. That was like back in the day when I used to fuckin watch people say: Peyton Manning was better than Tom Brady and Tom Brady had three Superbowl rings. Many had yet to get one of those still boy. I've got to go to tire, got time to look at the stats. You gonna build a tv, we gotta go with pain, It was just at that point: Pate Manning was the guy. If you wanted five yards and six touchdowns november- that through the fuck you wanted. But if you want to do so, ring, you wanna talk and break so anyways. Picked, men came around, they want to Superboss made one of em enough. They made. Are we over these receivers illegal and then they stole a reference, but that's not cheating. I will never let them go. Neither well at this feel? Go sugar Cincinnati comes out with.

the toss, wins the fuckin task they defer to Alabama who, by the way, The quarterback is the Heisman trophy whether this year, I you know what we do is going. We was lower than we thought that we win the toss, no matter what we're going. give it to that kid. So what do they do Evidently Cincinnati had some good corners. So what are they? Do? They play big ten football? They smash Mount the ball all the way down the field. Nice long, sustained, DR go up. Seven, nothin and for the rest of the game, sits spoken, Jason because the chasing them every time they get no fuckin redstone they go in Fort it. One point: zero. two thousand and forty six? It should have been fucking one thousand one hundred and thirty six head to chip shot field goals. You just leave you just every time It's like. If you went to a casino in every time you hit every time you go enough and you gonna fuckin lose you gotta chip away at a fuckin team

keep your team in the fucking game. So what happens? After all, the effort, the defences doing hold Powerhouse office to only twenty four fucking points. This. I've been in the game and worn every time they look up. They still see the only got six points on board, an exit. You know they have a frustration penalty that that guy and sits natty Fuckin slaps the helmet off the Isle of Bam. Katy gets kicked out of the fucking game. Does you do that analytic people, if its twenty four twelve, I think tat watch Georgia, Georgia's scored on every single, DR, except one and buried Michigan in the first half? You know why? Because of the time Tat was there, they took it. If it wasn't, they got a fuckin feel go. There was the one. Thing I felt was missing and that Great John men documentary. was they'd, never asked him what he thought of the way the game was played today with going forward,

on fourth and two, with your own fifty yard line when you down seven enough in the first quarter or going for it on fourth and five when you're down by like sixteen with almost two full quarters to go, take the points it's so fucking stupid. take some right up. If you're football coach in the upper deck of the stadium agrees with the weight of your coaching calls, I think you need to step back. I do anyway When someone in the upper deck, basically coach, the team I thought it was fucking ridiculous and now I've said that. What I I always really gets Alabama because it came the college football late. I voted for Mr Newman, I was grown up. I like I was approved team, and I wasn't just gonna jump on the bandwagon. Do you know when they have the Paul Brown Bilbil check of you know: college coaches

What I love about watching the way Alabama place is evil, they play against a really great team. Which Cincinnati was. they can almost lowly other team into this sense that you know They have a shot Oh all, along the way, Alabama keeps winning those little battles and then I've! You know the game starts slipping away and then the other team gets frustrated and then they just get blown up. The flesh staff Religio DORA early down by fuckin seven, and then they do some damn shit, they take fuckin penalties. They get kicked out of the fucking game. They just do dumb shit like that. They just an unbelievable programme and an unbelievably coach tee, and you what that sets up now that sets up And all South Georgia, Alabama, the enough little battle that would have happened if the south,

the civil war? They would have been a second civil war. No one in the south wants to talk about it, cuz they act like they're on the same page, but here's the deal, Georgia and Alabama do not like each other. All right, They like that. What's so, what's that show, but those rich people who they're all fuckin assholes each other's, so you can't really room for anybody. Secession, Succession you know you're, trying to be emotionally invested like I'm. I carefully this character did that to that other character, but cycle the character get out of here You just did that to did this to the other care, and I don't give a fuck about it. This is a voice, artistic just watching, terrible behaviour. which, by the way I dont understand, I was on the elliptical right, Billy Political

and I'm watching. You know they show all all of these legendary people that passed away. Last year, women. It was fuckin incredible, like just from part from Colin Powell Fuckin dust. hell to fucking DM access. All of these amazing people in politics, military artists, musics spot. The whole thing in the middle of it they put fuckin birdie made off it's like what enough fuck. How does he make a fuckin list? I love I didn't even know he died this way again like that, should die. Anonymously in fucking jail. A really fuckin annoyed me, The first I was excited, I was like a piece of shit died, didn't even know that then I'm like wait a minute what the fuck did dm exe.

Colin Powell and Dusty he'll do deserve to be on the same list is fuckin, Ernie Fuckin made off anyway, get that Georgia First Alabama. Alright, they do not like each other. Okay, now on the football field. I believe Georgia's the underdog Believe I don't know, I think they're ring I forget, whose rank one whose wreck number two but I'll tell you in life. Alabama is the underdog. If you go to Georgia, people in Georgia, of two trash people in Alabama people in Georgia. Feel that day our cut above that their brisket Is a little more eloquent than ever Burma's ribs right, the people Emma you guys.

You know it all depends on what you want if you just going if you're just looking at this, like a sports fan right, you got a route for Georgia just because you know Alabama seems to win it all the time right, but if you want to be well. You, Georgia abuses their power over Alabama, Georgia has slightly better books in their school. You know slightly better, which is why they still do the time our job at the world series in Alabama at mean you're talking about a state that thinks the hunger games is a documentary a lot of them to gain, I'm speaking from personal experience. Having performed, both states knowing full well that are better.

in all of those people combined a right fuckin with you, by did notice that when I went to Georgia like they law, they would make fun of people from Alabama Alla time. The way people from Wisconsin make people for people from Illinois, Ohio with Fuckin Michigan, It's just states think other states are dumber than they are. I don't know why, but should we live like right on the fuckin state like they are that knowingly mass holes maniacs. You know I don't know what fucking people Rhode Island, everybody thought were: morons, Connecticut, Theo Bunch, a rich Kuntz. It's you know. I gotta be us it's kind of truly now fucker.

So anyway. That is gonna, be the championship game for the championship for all the marbles. Alabama furs, georgia- and I don't know who knows, I'm gonna be room for Georgia. Only because Alabama whence it all the time, but I I love both of those programmes. I love the Assisi and they definitely prove that they were the best conference this year. because you know because of the two games that you're fuckin watched nobody mine. That was watching him any scorn, your college football fuck instincts. It's like the playoffs have been great Serponel how states gets in there he gets Fucking destroyed, like moved more like nine times out of ten title of traditional. How state

I do not like the programme, which is their fans of such whiny, comes as I went about, feel, go so fuckin twenty minutes and this progress yet college football stinks. What the fuck are you talking about. I love calls for Bali still kick feel those imports. Kids, some people do so anyway. That is my recap as a non athlete Oh, by the way I went to the Rome I went to the rosebud: yes, they we didn't go to the game. That's the new thing that we do. We just go to the tailgate and just realized The other day we were really enjoyed was the tailgate and I know I was an amazing game yesterday, but like that Utah's first fuckin time ever being at the rose ball. Do I really they go buy for those tickets or can for more people from Utah go in a bill,

start make yourself the hero here. The reality was you wanted to sit on a golf course. Smoke has many cigars as you could need brisket. That's exactly what I wanted to do, while a stealth bomber flow right over entail gay, I gotta posts that fuckin right now, you guys are gonna, get exclusive audio of video. How exciting is that he's gonna hear this thing. This is the stealth bomber flying over. We listen to the cars to the here comes sounds like a regular jet right. What's that southwest

Wait for it here. The car lengths me realities of South West that fucking, We didn't see what that think it do. You know, I thought I would say yes and evasion store ever with some guy you know was flight was was on Whatever you are when you in between approach.

sure, whatever radio when you're in the inroads structure of your flight, this guide, you know it calls for an altitude check in typical you, no human, being shit. I guess, if you're a higher altitude that major of fuckin you know better pilot of some are usually does, does any guess that pressure, Azure cab, much media ever fuckin, sick, ass plain, which means you have more train that people at lower altitudes. I guess I guess that's how work So somebody heard that somebody else flying and they knew that this guy was just peacock and about how we use it like fourteen thousand feet, so some commercial person just did a altitude check. you know, but when somebody they were like eighteen thousand and somebody else gets inner they like whatever thirty seven thousand and think that end of it and for whatever reason, this is a if this is. This is true, as I would think they bialik some military frequency, but somebody flying like the stealth bomber called in there.

but, like I don't know what they were at, but I knows, though, the height that they fly like above sixty thousand feet or some shit when they take off from say when they get up to altitude, they were saying they can see like. Denver Colorado, Vegas and LOS Angeles and the ocean. Then they make up I turn and they can literally see as their flying up. You know. Francisco San Jose Sacramento Portland, In Seattle just way off in the distance, and then they go up and they fly back, I mean how fucking insane is that can you? have you been in front of their car picture, sit there looking at that. I just want them to take one flat earth up there. Just to see that they would blame the windshield they put as they put a fish eye when shield on it. Why me

in the parts of southern like this no flatter through in the north. Don't you know what they did. They had an effect, it's a fish. I lads like Beastie boys, used to use for their videos. That's all they did. You know. I know but they knew. I know what that's why they landed early, anyway. So we hung out. We have little tv and a generator. So we watched the game and we just had like a fuckin blast. Man I could say the utopia bottom. We got there a little later too. So I got two like sleeping because I went with my wife, the night before You know too little new year's thing mast up or whatever young kids, not man that they know they gonna beat it. They don't give a fuck, kill some old people, such freedoms corner offices make this college degree be worth something I get it I get it. Kill some people, young people, don't do it

before every summer, is nothing but a giant fire and what that happy? Fuckin news! I am recording right now, ten, fifty nine, a M Pacific Coast time, so the NFL Games Yes, dad In our report recording a few of them, so I'm not can be talking NFL here, but I will talk a little bit of a little. For the first time in twenty two, twenty twenty, two, twenty twenty two is our old friends all zip. sue everybody. If you work We do you work for our own, a business and wanted growing industries, wait if you work for our own, a business in one of those growing industries, what growing industries a wide range of other industries- you probably

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The talk shit? No, when you got the camera and you got nothin, I just see just ploughed draw it or do you think you are? I am right so one of the things that I've been talking to people about You know, as the world scene really gets crazier crazier, or is it just that you're on line listen to people that smart scaring the shit out of you- or are you arguing with a russian bought. You know I really believe all you have to do to get it. job in Russia in the government is to be able to write in English, welcomed binds America or if you can type or you can blame the Trump Administration Ultra Administration, Beetle too, you can blame trump. For that one, that's all did you do when you will get at least forty to fifty Americans, tat typing in capital,

just wasting their fuckin afternoon, hating, each other more and more alright. What, How I do is I want to get on russian Instagram. Then, I want to start trolling them, but He troll people that live under a dictator. Why can thank the latter They are potent for that, and I be like yeah or die mean we're. U dont have choices People are rushing. I don't want to get anybody in trouble right. If your listening over there, but did how funny of those a Vladimir Putin scoring goals on the ice Jesus Christ, love after he shoots it. I loved the three second delay by the gully before he flops and tries to lift up his leg. Christ

previous since some russian horror of eager to send some fuckin poison missed in the side of my neck, when among the elliptical. Do you know as a lock alone is not I can't origin exit? Can we do this? Brazen? You must here, We are dictator rules for fatty, so I've been ask people what they would do if they were a dictator. I would do a bunch of fuckin shit that people would like, but would be. I feel it would be good for everybody. You know if that right there isn't the most cliched statement made by anybody who wants to be a dictator, I'm a little bunches shit that no one wants me to do, but it's gonna be good. For I know, what's good for all of you are right.

I would be like. This is why I would also fail cuz. I watched that video and how power works and people are just all about money. So you have to fucking eliminate money. How do you eliminate money? Let's go to back to the barter system. I don't know what happens to you and beans are just what volcano perfect world as a dictator. All right, I would, I would go environment, I do education and I go

and then also animals. Why its animals, our supply, the environment. I watched his fuckin video the other day, the sky winces, grocery stores, fish tank was empty and he was thinking about. You know what new petty want. Any saw these lobsters sitting in sitting in the in the in the little tank there he decided to get wanted to have it as a pet and when he took you, know the rubber band off that little thing that they stick in there, that the things clause would immediately come out. They didn't, they were all fuckin atrophied, like you know, when you get frozen shoulder cause, you don't keep moving your arms or whatever it is. You have a fuckin rotated catfish. You had the same thing and this guy, like basically rehab this lobster back, because it was sit in fresh water. They hadn't been fed or anything and die. He started feed it, and then he had this little rubber tube that he would stick down there and let him it is left claw opened and closed, but his crusher one on the right was working,

I realise how me fuckin arms of things at they like little dog Colleagues, you just see. The thing in his cell is excited. It is to be alive and feel it better and everything I just so fuckin wrestle with that about is going vague in the right way. You know, I then, but then you just go on any just look and see what animals due to each other. How everybody is predator are prey. He got a bunch of shit out there with flat fuckin teeth like people have no clause? Judges have hooves, they give em horns, they get fuckin horns. A guy the other day to sell those big plastic coins. When I was a kid you go to a football game, they just be some guy

in the upper deck, where all those things that are all in the Fuckin Ocean, so we can only fled do you that maybe they get horns or maybe they can hop? on fast or whatever and they just their job, is to just fuck it make more of them. So these these Murderers have something to eat. You know, and I have to say the most Hugh. an animal out there is the big cats are right. The big cats because they just go right. Fear throughout throat they fuckin Choky out in itself if you listen eighties, you fighters if they have the option of get knocked out or choked out they'll pick gettin choked out

I guess we get eaten afterwards. You don't give a shit if you knocked out but like they just fucking, kill you and then they eat, unlike Fuckin, what are those goddamned giant, fuckin lit Commodo Dragons bears. A face, an alligator fuckin drab. Even that thing will start to EU alive. It doesn't give a shit right, so anyway. I so I'd always wrestle with the supper we really see. Like you know, I watched a guy over last year. This is some big time. People shit right. I watched a fuckin guy become free, What the octopus in an ocean, then I'm never eaten octopus again, I'm never eaten a fuckin octopus again right, that's it! I can't do it right and then. Even if I go to ITALY S Graves Octopus ever happens. I was in fact in Rome was unbelievable. I'm never I'm never eat, not the persistent and

I watch this documentary this guy, since this is the rehab this this lobster. things have a ball and I was sick and, like all get another one, so it's not lonely than I was I got off. They would then go at it. You have to see I don't wanna be called. Is theirs lobster Leon I want Leon the dire whatever, but. I can never you know and then, and you have a brisk it all, but a taste so fuckin good hours. I wonder why do you. I think I'm gonna guy? Why? But what does what may go like too? three meals, vegetarian and then like one dead chicken. chickens is another woman you what she's documentary so where they would do defected to Kentucky Fried Chicken snip their beaks off they do you know people like Bresse me

You fucking God, I'm all right it up. You know, look like they play the Oakland AIDS in the late eighties right in the cave and walk as they fuckin Tipp over I'm at one time, I watch that you are what you eat and I got all freaked out and I tried to go around LOS Angeles right, we're all the Twinkle toes fuckin yoga people. Healthy people are, I would Trying to find a fuckin healthy chicken, a regular check it real free range chicken. I finally found one guy that's a chicken a glance at chicken? That's not a pigeon, that's not a cornish and you can leave a fuckin small. This thing was so I will get back to the dictator thinks so I would yeah I would just make you know. I would have once a month.

Would be junk food day right and my whole cabinet would have all the fuckin junk food on the lock like J, F K right before you put the embargo on Cuba, you ordered, like fifteen fucking cuban cigars, so they could sit there, smoking a by the poor after somebody. Bags, Marilyn Monroe right than me, while all of us a fuckin, you know how to drive up to Canada. Here's my thing on Canada. I dont think Cuba respects Canada. I don't think they give the best Cubans you know. I. I really believe that the best Cubans go to like England in Israel. They want somebody was skin in the game. Canada is too fuckin nice, so have a bad citizen that good they go. Let's Senator Canada they're not going to complete a right.

England in Israel, we gotta think. While these people might bombers. I swear to God. Every time I smoke a cuban cigars that somebody get from England and I foresaw cuban cigars and general. You know the fuck. You really don't smoke. It's like trying to fucking, you know took it up. Chocolate Malta summit. You got a little stir straw for from Afar Chickering China, like it it's the most frustrating thing ever anyway, so I would do that. And I'd have people I would. I would somehow, if there's a way to do this by the way. If there's a way to have local farmers Able to feed can local farmers feeds. Seven billion people, probably not. Then I don't watch people starve to death, so I'd have to figure out how many people they could feed

and then I gotta start making cuts like a Fuckin NFL coach in the beginning of August right. So we have junk food. uncle Johnny Day once a month to twelve months out of the year you just get in its a holiday right holiday. I already have you: we are work in three days. Weeks are right, but you fuckin you're going for three days right, you work at all. of our day a twelve hour day, Noah thirteen, a thirteen and then fourteen on Wednesday, and then you have a full, They fuckin weekend every fuckin weekend with nothing but good food, except for once a month you get junk food You get to go down any get fuckin junk food. For that whole forty fuckin weekend and whatever you wanna have fuckin pizza and all of that shit.

I really going to make people only eat pizza once a month, I would get overthrown by pizza? Is there's a few exempt pizza being one of them pizzas? The food is like an angle, that they are going to work, this shit up. And then decide how many people regular farmers could grow organic food for And then the rest of em gotta go right, you know, they'll, be certain criteria. Is people that walk around with something funny written on their teacher done, you're dead, you got your audio right, people that dress like it's a different period than it. Is you got you? Don't you Walker address like a blacksmith? You know get the fuck out of here right, that's it. We would send you for research

commission meaning were killing you so whatever that, since the beginning, I'm just scratching the surface women who say my heart breaks for you know, so they don't make the. Gradually, still not about the tragedy, it's about them in their feelings, they're gone. Kind of run out of people here. Are they to get me down couple hundred thousand right there? So then everybody's got it start fuckin help cleaning up the ocean all right, play, have to become electric right and then also they don't end up in those graveyards. You have to keep up great like they do the cars in Cuba safely like teslas and whatever electric car, that New Fuckin Ford, lightning that shit you just keep fixing up like they do on gas monkey garage rather than throwing them out or have an old pile up

recycling actually works right and people are nice to people. Try to create a utopia. then that's it and I get rid of a lasting, our daughters dictator. I do I get rid of the young. The what they call it the luxury tax in baseball. But and when the Yankees win the world series you're, not, out to say in all is right in baseball. Ok, that's fucking! Stupid It is not right in baseball; they want why wise and all is right when, when fuckin the Cubs, when it all, is well baseball, is now the cubs fans via get to know what it filled up. That's like Yankees wanting a world series in saying in all is right in baseball is like watching some fatty ease, fit fuckin hamburger row and be like at all is right Then Chuckie cheese or whatever I so anyway,

oh. I would also yeah I'd yet overthrow the fuckin banks in the fuckin oil companies. We would just go in like Michael Corleone or is it The only I don't know any they would just I'll get whack like fuckin, more green. That's it! That's it Kate. The end of the day there only bankers, okay, so all I need to do is just get their security team on my side by promising them pizza, organic food and the fact that all is not going to be right. If the Yankees, when it though Yankees win, congratulations, all is not right. Ok and then the late Lakers actually have to draft a championship. Team. The cold? Can't wine anymore? This can be a lot of a dictator. It's gotta be Tipp towards Boston, sports you're. Ok, I'm sorry you just it is what it is,

so he had so everybody. I want you guys to tell me what you do as a dictator or a dictator rule. Four Fannys a Billy picnics here is a rule I would implement implementing our dictator. All airline ticket prices. Calculated by wait there. every year you are the more you pay latte airlines would love that, because that does take up more jet fuel When you buy your ticket online, you enter your way. You get your ticket based Oh, my god, can imagine all these people fuckin crying enough. they realize there's no place to cry anymore, because is a dictatorship and the dictator controls the internet. The ticket based on the way you entered then the day you travel and you check in you have to weigh yourself on the luggage scale. If you're here, veered than the way you entered. You pay the difference or what did you say difficult: we heavier and you know that the person lied. Did they get off right there.

Question. Even if your lighter you get a discount bags have to weigh a certain amount because of fuel costs. Why not people have several more dictator ideas, but I'm putting them in a new novel, so I can't say them to you, love the Red Rock show. You crush come to you Please I like that. We can't just go after the fairies, what about sociopaths they know. Pedophiles dictator, Oh dear Billy Red rocks writing it. To present my campaign, for my dictatorship was actually debating calling the special that Billy Red Rocks deemed El Ray told me that Collar Billy Red rocks. Like I said I do them lifeguard, don't do that! Don't do that! I got kind of funny, but then how funny is it if even the listeners guess that I gotta, do better Emma. I am right, so knobs can live it. Red rocks, clever,

I'm writing into present my campaign for my dictatorship, which consists of two points I would Ellie eradicate the Robo calls you get for car insurance, or whatever. mainly because they annoy the hell out of me. This would be my scheme to get public on my side, for what I am implement- next policy. I love that say It is a smart dictator, little bread and circus. This is we get the people they go. they get on your side. Number two. This is this: is this Forget thing is going to lose stricter. I would make do being legal dueling legal across the board? that's not Larry is, if you will you ve been wronged in any way. The legal right to challenge the other people to a dual and should except you would be allowed.

to decide how to do and then pretend Really kill each other. There must, at least one witness to each party should neither combatant The dual was a draw in any further action taken would be subject to local laws. Do they is the most entertaining way to send the population. They should be televised, televised tools and then Even more duels, because people do anything they get on tv. My innocent, I gotTa Tipp, my Napoleon Bonaparte Happy or whatever I give you two fuckin bladder mere Putin on that one thumbs up. But what are they do they class there and they shake it to the side of the rear. Upon doubt. I am that we're gonna get no fuckin battle with Russia and what do we do in fact Island Russia, five hour hockey top people may there what's what the fuck is. The problem.

Jesus fucking Christ. What are we met at the dead do and what the fuck with you fuckin? Can't you fuckin can't what am I gonna went out? I didn't go out what happened my airport? Where is my still going. It looks like it still go on. Is it just craft out, then all of a sudden came back on Anyway, I don't understand why were upset it rush. It's like stop doing what we're doing. We do all the time We're gonna go in places where we don't belong and take shit over and kill people there. Why can't day sure it's a low more complex than that anyway or better. Yet, why can't bottom,

Let's just stay there, for common leave, other people alone, I sent what should The combat be killed in the dual. The victor would be safe from any further legal, action taken from the losing participants side. I e Illegally shoot someone in self defense, you can see They'll be sued civilly by the family, this not be the case in my regime. Ok,. but you should somebody in self defense. Why can you I guess you can still be sued? Suitors diggers possess less burden of proof as Saddam anyway, but wait. What I'm saying is,

they ve, never need, never televised paintball. You know because I think, at the end of the day, it's just not interesting enough to watch people saying our Archie. How are you cheated ennobled? Imagine if this was like the Ex game version of people where people actually fucking died. You know, I don't know what you would call it Shooting each other are Comedy Bang Bank. I would also allow inmates in prison to request a trial by combat they or someone who or someone who agrees to fight for them would fight a state sponsored opponent. Should the person die they die? Should the prisoner they are cleared of all charges. Are, I think it's a little fuckin crazy. For me, I was

I was really with you until that part. You can let a child molester kill somebody from the fucking state and then they get to go for a doubt that something with that What I'm gonna fuckin holes in my shit to worry, Carla's agenda it fuck it. Went out again wait. A minute is just a screen goin out. It is the screens goin out o my god, the things it's getting old. I gotta get to New Olympus zealous one on the Right Carlton's agenda. dear Billy, for the ages retired of watching people, Co Opt George Parlance Comedy for their own political bias. Don't you preach into the choir, People go, and you know what Carlin would think about your fuckin stance on mass he be rolling over his grave. It's just like or we gonna, you think, he'd be thinking about what do they could be

they can. If you were speaking for him after he was dead, what other dead comics do you speak for when you fuckin Whoopi Goldberger ghost channeling these, People Carlo, went after things he thought were bogus, not things that didn't align with some tribal shit he was attached to Somebody who understands George Carl, beautiful, I see liberals uses videos to promote this. Listen to stab which the government. is never wrong. Bullshit. I gotta say that that that whole sentences is bullshit it for a smoke. Conservative people also use it. You know person was trash me about not where sane aware mass and also liberals. Do not think that the government is never wrong. They think the government is wrong if the person and government is wearing a red tie, the way conservatives think the guy.

Remit is wrong if the person is wearing a blue tat, you know. Am I right There are hours of Carlin, trashing, fake liberals who talk like they care about the world, but don't he went. Hard at the use of native Americans when it emerged? Is some righteous alternative to Indians? Yes, something you brought up recently Yes, yes, He also went hard at the military industrial complex, something that is supported by both sides. That's also right Went hearted racism he hated modern liberals, fathers censorship through the age and religious conservatives in the nineties, which came from Reagan, error politics. Yes, it's for years I see someone saying billboard hated blank without after both sides, which are the one and the same. At this point I am going to say them in the face with a dead fish. No, that already happens to anybody who even remotely posts a video is people are,

Everybody is acting like their own little news channel and they are spinning shit in clipping stuff to make it part of their agenda. He mounted times. People have taken My jokes and said see what he saying here and there percent wrong, they're, not even go unlike politically so. Yes, people do that Karl and shit all fuckin time. They do that and they walk around with them. who's! A cuban guide shake of our oh! They are those tee shirts for a long time may. Who else is another big one? Nostradamus people like to quote him a lot you now to make themselves seem deeper. Kurt Vonnegut was big and the alternative comedy see

there was a while, therefore, by eighteen months to two years, where was big for an alternative comic to tag a joke with, and so it goes and so it goes. You know I always think, like you know, there's a difference between being Kurt Vonnegut in quoting heard Vonnegut. So don't quote the guy in assisting God did you read the book that everybody else fuckin red accidentally insulted girlfriends ball brother in law? God. I love a thoroughly bill thanks better than me birth, and I do better that all you motherfuckers. That right. There's when you know somebody said this when they take their better than you, because they need to do that became speaking from experience. I always talk down you guys and I will never stop talking down to you. Despite my academic record,

I've been seeing this girlfriend for about four months now Invited me to come to her family Christmas celebration. Irony matter, mom, dad and sister, but I never met her sisters. Fiance flash forward writhings go and well. We had got done with them. And we were all sitting in the living room watching a Christmas special. Oh, my god, this is perfect. When I sub door. I said something I probably should never have sisters fiance is about twenty five and balding and when I say all doing I mean he's, got a bad, nothing on top, but this Aids are bushy bright. for a chair. Well, that's not balding! That's bald, head they had all the time, but he took it off, it got off the couch before even think I said Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no hair. Everyone went quiet for a bit. Then like

the champ that she is she started laughing in playing it off like it was nothing your girlfriend did, but afterward She told me that he was very self conscious about being a twenty five year old ball ginger were, who wouldn't be? What should I do too exit. Shall I apologize Iraq like nothing happened since you're a ball ginger cunt. I figured you too have submits a factor that was the longest fucking way to insult me, and that was great go for UK yourself. I have two fuckin. Look up that reference lieutenant. Then you got no here. What is that from tenant Dan. Oh you got no legs, all that's from forest Gump. First of all,

You're fucking Larry sets a great fucking reference. Did you Say it like lieutenant, and you ain't got no hair, laugh! Ok, I'm calling bullshit in your whole before I knew what happened before, it can even I just said that no Europe can't and you knew what you were doing right- yeah you're, a fucking cunt but still what you said was hilarious. Any should laughed it off but you're, not a total can't catch. You actually feel bad, but I dont did you action Feel bad as you hurt the guy's fairly, you know, as the Jew say, you're a match right. Is the Gentiles say, you're fuckin good shit

but if you just do what I your girlfriend esben fucking you lately than your account, what should I do to fix it. Should I apologize or act like nothing happened. A tough one. It makes a tougher cause he's a redhead. What does he have it? All bushy just shave you fuckin head man. People will think you know some jujitsu, He should do that. Man. look, I don't know, I don't know how you fix it. I don't think you can fix it. What do you say? Sorry, I said you got no hair like Forrest Gump for everybody during the holidays, while watching a Christmas special, I mean out the fuck because

knows everybody's laughin about it. Afterward. I think I'd give advice to was the ball ginger cunt? Maybe you fuckin just play on this planet. This fuckin blame is podcast shave, yard body. get in fucking ridiculous shape dead, shredded. And that's it and you know what you'll grow into a bald head. They want Is where it is in the authorities, and then you ve already done with the worst thing that can happen to a guy when he's aging other than fuck. I get terminal disease. You already fuck and dealt with it when you shaggy head what Ladys find it confident they find it a conference posted commented over a fucking. You know reappropriate.

ship from the back of your head than walking around with that NATO to one o hair cut for the rusty, a fuckin life, or you could go that route. You could go there. You know, I got one for you. I this is how you fix it. I've got the best. Whatever I got to go Whenever I swear to God, this fuckin recorded crept out on me. Now it still go all right. I got it. I have it all right, we'll start I will. I will fuckin put some money towards this- and I was will do Us- but the word- a Gulf fund me that won't have his name we all know what it is. It's the lieutenant day go fuck me all right, you find the best hair transplant people are out there and in and collectively between my listeners at me, we'll get him a fuckin here transplant about that that work. Let me know they'll be amazing. If

became my charity, you know some people save the whales and then I can. The spokesperson is still be bald, so I'd look selfless self. You know. I've like the martyr Henny. Never too, the time to do it for himself. graveyard. This is the last thing here really hot, but my fucking recorder has not fucking crept out. It has it ever some reason: Oh, I know it's going to screen saver mode God, I'm stupid airplane Jesus bill that was even bad for me. If I can just save one ball, ginger airplane airplane graveyard high bill, listening to your podcast will, where you talk about flying up to Victorville, seeing all those jumbo jets. I fly drones and actually flew up at the airplane graveyard. No Mojave desert. It got some epic shots at those planes.

hey, tell me where that is. I want to fly up their here's, the link I video on my you. to channel share. If you enjoy it, absolutely well. I'm gonna send that may come phenomena but assent that link- and I am also going to say, guys the posts. The the lobster thing. I am also going to pay the fuckin the I over and then also I'm gonna help out that guy if he wants to get a hare transplant right. Me and my listeners will help em out any could can do it totally anonymously totally can anonymously, which means that cut. That said, Dane Lieutenant Daniel you ain't got no hair, which Jesus Christ. is so fucking funny on its own. Forget about that. You did it at your girlfriend. family house to what could be a few your brother in law, while

watch, your Christmas special, I that's just fuckin Asus, but we're gonna we're gonna wrong that right, that's it around! that's a black happy new year to everybody. I hope you have a happy great year. get out of your own goddamn way is Dave. Elitch says which, by the way, he has a whole new added thing. If you want to get better at drums, Davy Elitch get out of your own way, look up. At present on his website? Sorry, hiccup in bourbon and everything here gets it that is applied, cast, go fuck. selves that I'll check it out on Thursday.