Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill rambles about Socialites, The Bearded Baby, and the Bruins
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey, what's goin on its bill burn it's the Monday morning, podcast from Monday October, tenth twenty eleven odd you like that! Wasn't at nice and smooth, I didn't go to the Lamb twenty alive,
all right. I finally learned how to say it it only to all jerky tat love bought. It.
Took me ten months to figure out how to say that shit you're probably wondering like while Bell who told you we had down at a coffee shop with your legs cross Paris, shorts on wearing a tweet jacket, so Mackay Walk and of a huge mood approval,
now I actually yeah. Last night I watched the ivory Ed recorded the Boston Bruins play in the Philadelphia fly
the first game of the seas, because I wanted to watch him raised that, though the Stanley CUP better,
and you can tell a bronze had one one in a long time, because the fuckin ceremony to raise that thing was almost
as long as the drought. It was awesome. They dragged out every fuckin covered up next year.
Rick, we got canny lives, man Laurette. We got from these very Philadelphia flyers way back in nineteen. Eighty three, we terrorism for Fuckin who gives a shit?
they skater around what the cup, because when we want- and we did it Vancouver,
would you say Vancouver There- the Fuckin riot stilled what the fuck is. Just a gay rights could swim.
They actually talked about when they were announcing. All the brewing Stanley CUPS. I came over the years.
Lay for slaughter died to twenty six Leyla
like a lotta likely. Thirty lied when adopted for.
Loud but of course, the lobby areas like somebody like nobody to allow for the first.
The third idea. Is it what
Eleven and the fuckin light went off my head of my car. That's how you say it wishes
right, because I have a high society party that I'm going to later on this week. I'll bet you guys, I don't know if you ve realized. You know a comedy careers going all right and I'm starting to be invited to socialite parties, which is just a bunch of people in their who were have nothing to say they drink drinks in the little finger. Stick it out and die
start to go to those parties or social rights are famous in France, are what the fuck
no, not social rights. What the fuck are they just people
was smart and want to comment on shit, what he call those people but a social light
you noticed socialite is that some fucking whore who was good looking right,
and when she was done, blaanor Fuckin Math teachers ass. She could graduate. She went out and fuck
married a guy was in his fifties, who was gonna, be some sort of senator?
What a social light is right.
Oh, I know you're that hot EU banks that guy's fuckin thirty years older than you and you guys got married at a couple of kids right that show your fuckin social,
I'm not gonna walk around and pick out the drapes at the Fuckin White House. Oh yeah! What do you think about global warming? Ah, Gulf fuckin Bluffs, because you're a whore are what you're not really see. You telling me that old fucking that all let me first
Let me finish, you tell me what caution I can. Let me finish cause you know what I'm going to say and you know I'm right
with the tears. Stop it. How old are you you? Let me best years go by a cake and your cash in love to be in this old dusty fuckin mentioned here on Pennsylvania Avenue. Isn't that what you doing here
so you can do what get a nice parish shoes. What do you think about when you go down on my old man? How do you block out those salt and pepper cubes, just common at you, like your and watching fuckin pubic avatar? How do you do that? Lady, like? How do you do that? Ok, I'm trying to help. I know you think I'm crass I'll give a fuck the world rejected my sperm lady, ok, we'll that made you should listen to me. You should listen to make us. I'm gonna tell you the fuckin truth. I got not the loose. I dont, we D. Have you even considered blowing me since I first walked in her excellent from say: that's what I'm saying
You need to fuckin dump this guy. Indeed go back and talk to that fuckin guy you went to high school, withdrew now worked out the mobile station and goes would lock me check your royal not drawn in true. You laugh, but I think you need more wiper blades at Guy Major Harcourt pitter per fuckin socialite. You put your pussy on the table to live in an old house just as long as everybody watched. The fuck is wrong with the US. What a socialite is everybody budget that little vignette has got a nice. Wasn't it cycle of soap, opera step, nobody died and came back right, nice. We ask yourself why you got that raspy sounding your voice, I'll tell you why I'll tell you why? Because I have one thing in one thing: only in my
Stand up comedy rider. Is that a big thing for all you people are you? People aren't show business all you lesser people, you know who every once in a while show business tips our hats to we go. You know the real heroes. Are those guys out their collecting the trash. Those are the
Will he arose those guys you get up. You know anonymously.
It put on a state, our work work week. It
they do that shit. Let me ask you this: are you done enough to believe that? Do you think those politician to tell you that shit? Oh those showbiz phony, like myself, we actually mean that shit. We don't. We don't look at you guys, like that you now we look at your. We look at you. The same way really Otis character. Looked at you in good fellas Manette. That was for what anybody? What did he call you guys you?
fuckin lunch, pale motherfuckers. What is wrong with more self sabotage? I'm literally trashing ninety eight percent, but you know what you know, I'm fuckin right now
when they were kid fantasize Sunday, I'm gonna work in a cubicle and every
I'm sitting there you trying to make it a little more hold me in there, sir,
douche bag was gonna lead on the think, just like in that movie office yeah, I'm gonna need you to work Saturday. Nobody! Nobody dreamed about that right! So what do you do you go out? You get married bang out a couple of kids and you're filled with such love that that love somehow beats down the misery of your Fuckin day job. That's the ultimate goal:
that you could actually get married, have kids feel that love your kids, while also having your fuckin dream job. You know, you know what have.
When you achieve that level, a happiness, a fuckin safe falls on your head. I they cause you, God just killed you
hell yeah! You know why cause you figured out life, which is, I think, that she a test you ve test here from
the fucking guy in the sky, you're, all the
Guy, what the fuck and bearded baby son that he just fuck it I don't know what he did. He fuck inside armed it into Fuckin marries our who ha. I can't to call thee. My favorite baseball
reference ever he just throw it in there. That's what he did
he did a yeah. What would you call it did like only when they call that
immaculate fuckin boot cocky. He fucking, given what Dave Parker through that Fuckin guy out from the warning track. Was there at the all star game? He was at the warning tract
We re three rivers stadium right. It fuck took the ball from the warning track and just
Throw it and this ball was like six feet off the ground.
The entire way, which is impossible. If you know anything about physics and gravity
Actually, no, our fast, he threw it immediately. Object is gonna start to drop, I know, but whatever it looked like, it was six feet. Fuckin high the entire way, through a frozen fuckin rope strike, Rachid catcher nailed the run accommodate that's what God did with his Supream baby, make stuff AEGIS Europe off the barn passed a yak off the goat. Whore
nothin, but vetch, and you wonder why I'm not on Itunes.
I'm starting to think the desert conspiracy theory. This is some sort,
podcast censorship. Yeah. When you figure out life, God kills, you have funny. Would it be? If I was a guest speaker of Fuckin church, I somehow flim flan my way in there I came to town in the sky. Blue fuckin suit, with brown cowboy boots in some sort of whites really start a fairly short like a western shirt than I had one of those western ties. Sam Houston war down there in the Fuckin Alamo, ok come on you're fuckin, south of the border motherfuckers you can kill us, but you can't kill whitey because he's common over them boats. Oh really well figure out how to make a chill loafer scare me.
I don't want to talk about this week. Once you figure out, lifeguard kills you it's basically what happens? It happens. All my Stephen Raven figured out life. You know we fucking. You got sober.
Tell everybody else who gets soberly start thinking about little babies, laughter right outside he figured it out. Gods like I, he passed the test time to go up to fuckin utopia. That's what I think happens. You know, and you know what the great
thing about that theory is, is there is at least nine million examples of why it is in truth and right there that makes a billboard theory fucking air tight just for the simple
fact that I love to argue, but doesn't it seem like Dead SAM Kennison figured it out,
got sober was far can do in the right
I'm not do drugs and fuck and doing my shit got just like our
You figured it out. Commanded.
So you know, somethin all this shit that I've talked about religion. Maybe that's. Why keep fuck in my life up? Because I know the day I figure it.
I got a safe is gonna land on my head, although my head, so big, I think I d have to drop to of he'd. Have to do those he'd have to drop. One
safety are the ones that you can like walk into.
Ah, you can't even tell me that you won't you, won't you wanna on one of those and have those in your house buying your desk just one of those ones. You know you're fuckin turned the handled down in an open up like the double doors like one of those big old houses at those social white horse.
Even if this is the boy you're right and Allah resentful, slut friends is shown up,
Go away, I boys senator. Why,
I choose love ride and then they start Fucker resenting their fuckin socially.
Girlfriend. They start looking at their fuckin guy.
They truly love who opened a hardware store,
they start resent now, and they start skip around town with some J arguing guy right and then they blocked a whole marriage. They marry the fuckin guy, then they day they get some old fuckin house at some slave owner used to be it is considered. A great man is his name, is on the fuckin declaration of independence. Right may start blowin that guy salt, pepper, pews, bang, Bang, Bang Bang common against a right that one day they. Finally, they just stick out both none themselves up in that one day they realize it's bullshit they go back to their other boyfriend or husband or whatever I was so.
Choose. I chose money and salt pepper cubes over my true love for you, then the second you get back to get. I love you. I love you too. You mean this alchemy
No, that's all I'm fuckin need and then what happens? Fat fat, fuck and train comes by kills and both everybody says it's a tragedy. You fuckin figured it up. You figure out life, you die God. What am I talking about twenty ways? You probably wondering why bill why the fuck it was a goddamn. Shame is how few people can hear this fuckin podcast, because if those those those demons over there at Itunes, those motherfuckers, you know what I mean
to create my own. I tunes Euro called beetles rise, baby tunes and all all, if only for cool people, which is itself a stone or, conversely,
You know we should do me and we should
a slight come up,
their own, I tunes rye and late, doesn't,
in money me and everybody just hangs out than weaken come friends with it.
He d C, mere speaking of which the level of fucking respect that I have for Malcolm Young of Ac Deasey Angus. You know if you really listen to what those guys are doing the way they start off a song, the way they build it and then the way they just draw back in punch you in the fucking face musically
optically with their guitars, his fucking, unbelievable, and for those you don't play guitar whatever I'm too, if you just want to see it, this is.
Two kids who actually date. I call up kids, the Falcon young adults, but I'm an old man. I can't get away
Calloway Whipper snapper twenty three faith? They actually do a cover alike back in black, which it's just fuckin. It's just fucking amazing. There really good players to adjust watchin like to keep the big orange grudge. Guitar he's playing the Malcolm part, nearly killed the eschews due in the air, the Angus partly play back in black in the palm mutes interest, all the little fuckin shit. You know a lot of people think what they do is easy, because when you get a guitar, you can kind of fake it. When you first get a penny,
We breakdown what the fuck is, that they are doing in the genius and the fuckin ability to write a sob with three cords. That is gonna make. Eighty thousand people absolutely lose. This shit, that's gonna, go through the fuckin chest of somebody who, at that point is real,
thickly sitting about a quarter of a mile away from your fuckin amplifier and they're gonna, be in the back row, gettin goosebumps, the fucking ability to do that. I still don't think that those guys have gotten a fucking recognition
that that debt they do. I don't. I don't know what it I don't know why, but I have to tell you this.
Fucking devoured every ac DC. I not talked about this before video that I've ever seen the next time they do a world talks.
The next time they do a world tore. I'm gonna go see those guys down in South America
let us see if there are unaware somewhere down there, because I am like embarrassed at
proud that I want- and I was part of the problem I was standing
in our old man. I can't jump around by totally prepare what's going on fuckin here at the play for
Legendary play Zepplin played here all these other people. You know
and when I saw the way, the crowd actin like Fuckin Argentina, something where it was just like. Eighty thousand people.
Any unison, fuckin, jumping up and down the rush that that must give the bear. They must feel like that. Don't matinee
when they came to the fuckin place. I was that we would wish to parasitic so.
I'm here, I'm aimed at some point. Gonna fucking go back
to watch my razetta stones, Spanish, when we learn how to speak. That shit, because for some reason I think, I'm fluent in Spanish. I can go out to South America with that South matter. Why do that? Just pop in my head member that fuckin song, the David Bobby and Mick Jagger did
Dancing in the streets and they all rubber their asses together,
they were young and all the fucking places different countries out. Ned Mick Jagger goes so
down there and it made me like the stones a little bit less anyways, I figure. If I can go down there to South America, I would again
If I could speak the language, I could talk my way out of being kidnapped. You know you watch it.
Oh rested abroad abroad. You ever seen that shit fuck.
People gotta, whether you don't think I'm gonna do. Is Marshall artist. I think I've been a fuckin right, a motorcycle from here to the Tipp of South America. Get up and guess what happens.
It gets like a third of the way there. He goes left on
fuck in Venezuela instead are right on fuckin shall loop of right
next thing. You know we stick their bunch of fuckin guerrillas they just lookin at like is it's like entrapment, there's no way sissies, he did a Fuckin white guy on a goddamn.
Spot just turned down this dirt road in the middle of the fucking rain Forest is. Is there a fuckin death squad behind this guy? You don't. I just figured if you actually spoke the language
There are these people one rather I possess. What's that's what spanish sounds like too
White man like me running around airports, Nabob into your fuckin break it down. I just think that that would be good to me
in the tank- you don't you know what we're not gonna fuckin kill this guy right now we're killed tomorrow, instead of its
So that's what I do like you know what I've always wanted to do out. I'm gonna go out. I want to go
like you, know what I've always wanted to do. I want to go out. I want to go.
To the air to go up a ghost islands? I wanna go down there and want to stare at a wizard. I want to see what I want to see what it looked like before. We came in fact everything up euro which, by the way, reminds me if I think one of them
brilliant, fucking analogies, I've ever heard it. I don't know where I saw this, but Joe Rogan has a bit in its on Youtube son. I feel like. I saw him at a club and burn in a new joke. I saw a fuckin you too. He did a bit about how you fly in a plane and he was looking out looking at all the trees, all the lakes, all this beautiful nature, and then he came to some major city and just started, seeing all the houses and all the buildings any compared human beings. He said
we're like a fungus and I'm not gonna do the rest are butchered, but I was just fucking brilliant
Actually it so, I want to go down the Galapagos Islands to basically, as Rogan puts it to get away from the fungus. I just want to see what would it look like before we made all these advancements in our line on the part of the problem so anyway, but you,
in order to go there, I think you have to go through Colombia of Venezuela. Do you know those places down their yeah? Instead, I haven't like they have like a car.
Pablo Francisco Boulevard, I mean I'm not going to ST. As
god Damn red and white man. I aria who'd like to kidnap me first and all me for ransom. You know
You know what they say. You gotta watch out who you fuckin hang out with. That's that's one of those times you really have to watch out who you hang out with, because you hang out with a bunch of fuckin losers and you get kidnapped and they start demanding money for you. That's gonna be a rough. What you ever think you going to see the light of day, which brings me.
Actually took one of the first questions. I want to answer this week. Somebody asked me for advice: a fellow redhead
Let me see Harry says
Bill and relatively new to the park ass and listening to put up their actions is crisis is into one
This is the one I wanted to read you fuckin Idiot bill you doing so well in the Parkhurst. Everything was going well. What the fuck is it kid was fuckin not now pay. I certainly had pause here. I will read as follows. This is park has spent your good up to this point.
Moment like this right, although some people like it, don't you do when you podcast socks, like that's that I think that's like the best part not hang on and through the magic of the pot, the pause, but not back. Here we go
so fellow red, who happens to be short to drab drawbacks to getting laid with the question doubt what has happened to fuck it redheads with their self esteem. If you're a fucking guy, you can look like a troll as long as you're funny
you got some charisma, you got a little bit of money. If you don't shit life. Ok, let me tell you something: if you're fucked.
I want to show you. What are you gonna? Do it that way causes to me? I was gonna flip. I was gonna flip there, I'm not gonna. Do that was going to say, like looks guys, give a fuck about, looks.
Women want security. Then I want you to be a fuckin mess, but I'm telling you that becomes a point where you can offer such security
that you're right, you're gonna get a haughty right to stop being a bunch of policies
dragged me down with you: you're fuckin Assholes Jesus Christ, people born without fuckin legs. You know you hear that bitch.
Kid you return, it's gonna, wanna fuck me
this power heading bill at what point you tell your asshole friend to go fuck himself.
Ah I love this question. He says: is there a way to make it permanent without seem seeming like the bigger?
asshole. I hate
addressing issues directly and like the the clean break.
And let me and I like the clean break like telling an ex girlfriend. You are a whore now kindly leave the premises,
however telling my friend who was grown into Us Sanctum
Is holier than thou ultra liberal douche that he's not worth my time on this planet will potentially make myself social life?
difficult since we are in the same circle of friends, isn't list of this
one of the most fascinating things up
male relationships that they have a lot of people don't talk about is when you have an unhealthy one with one of your friends, and you literally have to break it off like like you're breaking up with the chick, which makes it even more awkward because then it it's feels like kind of gay on some level and most guys you know not, they would just now
with like air. You know sitting down discussing feelings like I don't feel good
myself when around you say that, like do your fuckin dick go fuck yourself
it's basically the level of so I cannot disguise gone through Paypal.
I do want it. You shut the fuck up, read the rest, the letter and let this guy tell us what is going through a ticket point, however telling my friend, who has grown into a snake.
Ammonia probably said that the other friends that I share with this guy do not
The sight of him.
Yeah you're, really sounding like a battered wife right now like what he slapped she around verbally, then you guys go out public as you stare at the floor and everybody thinks he's what the greatest sky ever in your just shy. She's, getting kind of sad
Anyway, he goes, he hides it, except when I'm just hanging out with him at the bar. This is
I'm you sound like a psycho to put this into perspective here. Some examples of the douche bag Harry the fact that use douche bag reaches redeemed. You
that I see for him. One random Joe six pack throws the cigarette onto the street. My douche bag friend will go out of his way.
Pick the cigarette bought up and tell Joe six back hey. You dropped, somethin, asshole and proceed to bitch and Mon, like the current. He is even though the fucker, my friend,
A hammer you know you're, but the homer. You know it's not leak and oil all over the place. There's nothing wrong with you,
when a hammer there really isn T just how many people doing it's the population, it's not the cars are right. I still joke about that. Those eight people on the Fuckin planet. We could all DR tanks number two.
Takes. His opinion is right. Everyone else's stupid number, two that he hates pon politics, his opinion,
right. Everyone else is stupid and wrong done and a story number three. He tells really bad jokes that do not make sense or have context which he then proceeds to laugh. Uproariously at four gives unwanted advice regarding my job that he has never done, has no knowledge of, and still assumes. My thirteen years of experience are of no value because of an article. He once reddened Forbes magazine five cheats on his girlfriend
thus defies it by saying she just suck my dick. We said that we were so we says: what do you do? I'm leading towards the go fuck yourself and leave me be approach, and let my friends see one.
Egomaniac, this guy is thoughts on if it's better, if there is a better way. Fags. Ah now, Jesus says something up here earlier that kind of stuck out. Is there a way to make permanent without seeming
the bigger asshole yeah. There's a way to do that in a way to do it is when you tell this guy to fuck off. If you don't tell him to fuck off you just
lay it on the line? You just say: listen, you know you're you're. Your opinions on politics are arduous, its overbearing,
Get out you scream and people you anonymous guy enough, to put it eloquently.
I don't know you Ujiji. The worst thing to do is just be like. Do they think you're a douche go fuck yourself and then you will
Like an asshole, I don't I don't even know how to do this. I had a situation like this. A long time ago there was a friend of mine who was a fuckin. He just kept smoking weed.
Smoking weed every fuckin. This wasn't guy, you know smoke we'd, whatever than fuckin showed up to work on time. This guy went to work high and fucked up. Ok, just like an arrow key, you know you can have copying, I can get drunk on the weekends, but you no money.
To Friday. You don't sober, I dont think you have a drink, it prob you just like to drink saving a week. You know after work. If I can take a couple of talks, you get the fuck knows. You go to sleep, who gives a shit right, but when it starts fucking with your life in Europe
flunking drug tests and you start losing jobs. Yet now,
your wife's threatening the leave. You write that type of shit.
I don't. What did I do, and I just I just kind of stop retorted calls- is what idea, which is probably etarnal like a pussy way,
you know it was, as I was so angry at the dude that I knew that if we actually had the discussion, I was gonna say something really fucked up. So that's how I handled it, because I have a ridiculous temper and die what it thinks about. Having a temper
Is that a lot of times what it is? As I see all this shit is happening to you he's doing all
shit and are you calling him out on any of it.
I mean if you already still continents guys one of the biggest cuts ever but like sometimes like somebody's doing something in that annoys you and you don't bring it up and when you don't bring it up, then, when they start to do something else that wouldn't really of
Lloyd, you you're already. You know it's like some adjusts lapping the side of the facie faces already stinging and then they sloppy again. It's gonna hurt even more so it starts.
Exaggerate everything that they do it. You literally sound like some some fuckin chicken relationship who wants to hit her fuckin husband in the back of the head of the frying pan, and he has no clue no idea so yeah. This guy sounds like a dick. He definitely sounds like a dick
You know what I would do it this guy. I just I just stop. Hang out with a.
What're, you doing today, dont busy ass kind of passiveaggressive.
I ve just tell the sailors dude. I don't know what it is about you, but I just really don't like you anymore. I just don't your dick. You know you fuck around you
For I could feel go fuck around on away. You gotta drag me into it. Why do I have to know about it? Now? I look at your green algae fuckin. Girlfriend shows up now. I gotta pick your figure out like
Which part of her face somebody stare at instead of looking around the eye? You dragon me into it. You know yet
let me how to do my job you're, a moron. You don't know what you're talkin. Above all, you
Oh shit, you just you just fuckin annoy you. What are you
during a like this guy yields. Weird, is that whole situation just really made me uncomfortable. You know I've devils,
like fallen out of people, but I've never like literally sat down as a guy and broke up with another guy
That's that's literally what you're doing? Listen! Listen
Harry? I don't want to see you anymore. This relationship isn't working.
For me that, basically what you say this is a lairs. This is a really like section, the city moment. Here it's not working,
You you're not your needs are being met.
He doesn't look you in the eye anymore, with tenderness, when he asked you what you want when he's going up to buy around beers. Yes, he like
this is like something that guy's were off: it's not socially acceptable. Why is it making me so uncomfortable even talk about this? You know what forget everything I said. I think that the way guys do it is the way you should do what you say. Listen, you know what you're a fucking dick you dick go. Fuck yourself go fuck yourself, that's it! You have a big fight with them. Then you know.
When he calls you dont not take his cause. Just pick up the phone. A what's up, listen, get sounds like
but you know what I still figure it Dick day. What
I'll call you when I don't think you're a douche bag anymore. How about that
Oh, you got a yell at me now, while this is the greatest thing about it being on the phone with a douche click and that that's it how about that Jesus? It only took me ten minutes.
You know it's funny. I make a funny, but I know I know what that's like that, like the in France, with a guy like that, a guy like that is funny and your college years, but as you get older consider you said you had a job for thirteen years, doing something even if you're right out a high school aging years, use Urania Thirty's. So a guy like this, you can hang out with a guy like that anymore days. A fuckin loser and being a loser is contagious. The same way being successful is if you hang out with successful people. You know you get dragged
If you hang out with fucking losers, their goddamn anchor on your neck, they dragged down at the bottom annexing. You know you hang out that bar. You know that sports bar
go in there right. Just like cheers, you know, that's what that show, cheers really taught. You taught me how to be a fuckin loser.
Making your way in the world the gay gags everything got, I walk into a norm everybody's happy to see you.
Were you I'd get away and they had failed?
fleet in rather than he could make the jump from high school to Fuckin college. They actually see it. Oh he actually play for the Red Sox. Are they made him like actually successful? Now, right, as we know, it's a tv show, there was just a bunch of losers, avoiding their personal lives,
their shortcomings and they would go down there and they would just fuck. I will go down to gather right at some point yet yeah you got you gotta get out of the bars you gotta get out of here, because what happens is first. You go to the bars because you want to get laid. You don't want to talk to the broad everybody's
Can nervous rights, everybody drinks, yet, oh, yes, he get uninhabited, they turn a music up. So nobody can hear your awful fuckin opening lines and then you drag a couple of scams.
Out of there. I know you're not getting crabs right.
You don't mean bars or for young people, ok, and then what happens is that you get older. Now you this older guy, used around twenty eight. You start thinkin liked it
My like too old to be going a what's your major. It's only five six years when I'm fifty six she'll be fifty. It's not that bad. You start line dsl and then all of a sudden the year start fly and by then you thirty five and it's fuckin ridiculous, because when you first started going to that bar that person did Eugene hit Non was was sitting down
my while look alike and Joe a a. We shake a j right now, you're trying to fuck that, and it just gets worse every year and the smart people and the people who want a like emotionally damaging, came from good backgrounds that their basically leaving.
You know at the bar is that's like the Fuckin NFL draft for regular people. You know and all the good ones get taken and like the first round. First couple around such a twenty steady guarantee authorities- and now you start to draft a fourth fifth round start look at some people from appellation state it out subjects. Jesus Christ came from the foothills of scruples some red next,
dead at a mess. Probably got nice touch right. So what I M saying is: do I take the Europe want your life. Your point,
fine bars what too smart people do actually not most. What I just said was bullshit is love people to get scared. They get scared. The first two rounds in only start, believing in those think the person when the Fuckin Heisman trophy, like they gonna like taking a pan out what are they doing, may end up with set with Fuckin Ryan leaf with the vagina, and they have a couple of fuckin kids thinking that that's gonna make it better. They don't know that are now they know now than they just implode. The hull
Ryan Leaf or the vagina. They have a couple of fuckin kids. They commit that's gonna, make it better. They don't know that are now then, oh now than they just implode. The whole fuckin team. If I said anything, that's made since the last twenty minutes. Anything
you gonna, move on to another question: how absolutely oh, by the way, by the way, this time next week,
I will not be here in this country.
To be. When you are my podcast next week I'll be talking about the gig. I didn't London. The night before I had my big fancy european triptych.
Take it I'm gonna be in London. England in the show is fuckin
sold out of sight. The lesters square
I sold out a show on the other side of the planet. Actually technically, not the other side of the planet's Bobby. Like a third of the planet away, that's gonna be about fifty percent of the way they write. Math geeks out there could figure,
Martha and after I got a London, then I go on to basic.
Hitler summer tour. You know like,
He actually won the war and he wanted to summer. He would go,
The Copenhagen are slow Helsinki and Stockholm, Sweden. That's like his Fort Lauderdale. Can cool
they keep getting wider Europe.
I
get a veal uglier as I go along. If I go to London, I feel I feel like a movie star there. You know everybody there. You know, you know those people. Are they fuckin booze? They don't live waits. They just have those straight arms.
They have the beer Belize and then they were tight shirts. Occasionally, though, brush the teeth. Why would I do that they all but tickets? Why would I fuckin do that non m? P,
Excited to want to go back over there, I'm not like in the flight by fuckin pony dump. It bought two business class tickets chasm taken my fuckin alive.
Ah, it's gonna be out, it's gonna be also not sweat in the London gig. I know I could do well in Sweden because I was there before I'm just nervous about the English speaking abilities. This is what it is at. This point
Norway's gonna, sell out or Finland's gonna sell out. One of those is gonna sell out and then the other one I've only sold like sixty tickets. So I gonna make some fuckin videos this week to go onto fuckin.
Scandinavian fucking internet over there. I don't know what I have to do here, but anyways
talk sports here. Twenty was
really excited about that other than the flight over there. So I posted up so I'm actually gonna fuck and lose money, because this is something I haven't mentioned. I am carpet bombing,
over there, my dvd, bringing a tunnel dvds out there and I'm basically giving them away when I'm over there and your job. Should you choose
to accept it, because I'm only doing this once is to take these Davy days. You take the
Sons of bitches new shoved, all your mother, fuckin friends, come to my house.
We'll have a party in part by Fuckin, DVD aright show it to him and say this is a funny fuckin American. Next,
I'm a come there. Maybe they'll be seventy people. Anyway, that's ploughing was suck sports this week, I'm actually really concerned. I'm really concerned I've had my heart broken. Ok, because I told you doin that epic red Sox collapse, the only thing great about it, was for the few
time since game, three other two thousand for Elsie S. I actually saw Yankee fence they
came out of the woodwork, the door, don't jerk
all the power of its fight, where you re joke it on your bank, be right. All those fucking horrific on funding for contacts tweets some comedian, friends of mine. We is not. I seem clubs, but am talk, sports and fuck it seven years they all come out of the woodwork
Yet I would as much as it sought to took the take the shit I sat there and I took it.
But also by the bright eyes, egg, to reconnect with a bunch people. I've seen a long time, but you know what, in one week the New York Yankees lost to the Detroit TIGERS in the
Oh boy of Series and the New York Judge yesterday, loss to the New England, Patriots and guess what, ah my New York friends, they all disappeared. Again, no checks, no phone calls know. Nothin, I mean the patriots beat the jets. It's almost spend twenty four hour, twenty four hours of God by I think. Officially. At this point, I can start submitting a missing persons report right, spoken, unrealistic, I'm not talking about you Kuntz, who send me emails or any of that type of ship on the part can cause. I talk shit.
It's funny. It gets you guys go in and then you guys send me shit. You trash me and fuels the podcast at me. I do it by myself the very small operation here, so I need the input from you guys, but basically in my personal life,
That shit, that I do, I don't do that shit like poverty is a big time. Yankee fair. I don't give a shit. You didn't give me shit. I just don't do that because then you have liked. A sports bar is like in your life
and he can't falcon escape it and I'd rather sit there and try and figure out why it happened rather than listening
People go unlike next time. Yeah, they hear all hope is done.
Tiger caused for gain dying night? That's stupid shit that sports talk, radio.
More on who calls up like I I I can't deal with that shit. So one of these guys are these sports talk, talk, radio, morons had called me up and I've sit near trash and I'm gonna. Do you haven't called me since game three to call me now? This is just gay. This is ridiculous.
What would you do it? You know I don't buy. It is just this issue was issued girlfriend the Italian Jersey off at the waist. What are you doin here? You know.
I know I always hear from you was shut up. I only hear from you in the sunshine I set it to disguise, you know,
you never around. When all of a sudden you teams lose, you always fuckin disappear, I sousa you, you wait just a plain patriots.
You gonna here for me, after that one son you can give me after that keeps on right. Patriots beat the jets guess. So I didn't hear from Yankees loose to the tigers. Guess who hasn't text me or called me? Guess he went back into fuckin hiding it's it's unbelievable right. I have other friends. We talk should all the fun
it type but they're around. You know they're there and all four when their team loses their there. When the giants beat patriots there there, when the Fuckin brute Bruins, when the Stanley CUP that fuckin there we break each other's balls of fire, I these other people. You guys have friends like that. You too have for ever heard from some fucking years than the team Farley, which states the fuckin most pussy is fuckin. Move ever ever, but I gotta tell you, I feel I feel I feel vindicated on everything I said above
in mock Sanchez right, I told you who that guy was. I told you where that guy was in the fuckin quarterback, I'm doing it. I'm saying dude. I called it, but he said there freak out diseases like a fuckin, seven hundred six hundred seven hundred when percentage it's like its cause of his defence.
Now look last year there was no sorry cabinet jets when all out totally respect that got all these fuckin
now, there's a salary cap now they're, not what they were all right in this game manager is exactly
Well, that's what he is. He manages the fuckin gay. He as he does not have an ability, like the superstars of the league, to take over a fucking game, one of those guys like despite the fact, despite his supporting cast, he still fuckin willed them. That's what makes a fox superstar right, like I said last week, that's why people can't stand New York because you Motherfuckers
you scratch your ass and you in New York, you become a super, starts fuckin, ridiculous, I'm sick of it, and, having said all that before I get
shit. I realise that the Red Sox are just as bad as the New York Yankees and I would never argue with- and I can even tell you when that moment happened.
It happened when we signed Aragon Yea in September two thousand seven. I didn't even watch that world series we
Can you know it's funny? We got Gunjay, then he went and start a blow on all these saves, and I thought it was fuckin hilarious and some level did your bill. What else did you think this is like a movie that starts up awesome and then it just
I like the beginning. I just thought I fucking faded away
There was something I also wanted to read here: Jesus this guy.
Had underrated overrated. Yet all these things what happened to it, went up to where it. Where is it right here
Not. There is a right here. Question from a fan. I got it. Bellum relatively new to the podcast was actually an interesting question. So let me start smoking a pipe and cross my legs here to show you that this this is actually interesting. Why are all these feathers come out of this fuckin comforter cause? It's old anyways plough ahead here bill, I'm relatively new to the podcast, so I'm listening to back episodes. Now my wife and I love you work thanks for entertaining us. I am the same age as you, so I completely relate understand and
remember many of the things you account from childhood question. Do you always speak the way that used you do on the podcast and in your stand up? Do you tone it down when you around yours or your girlfriend's family.
I noticed that many people who write to you right. The way you speak it seems a little force
but I enjoy hearing other listeners issues in question. I wonder a face,
that way all the time others guys really,
go in Colombo. You know, I'm just gonna read my head around this. Do you speak this? Why, of course I don't. Sometimes I do what I do. I get it fights Europe. That's a good question. Do I look when I'm around my mom
I obviously don't say I want to say the word and dropped the sea word when I, when I fucking go to church, yet how the future
a I go there. I don't curse. I try not to maybe future
Story now, one of the stories, I believe, oh Jesus, you know I'll do stuff like that.
But I dont yet now I dont this package is completely over the top. It's completely Yoda fuck I said earlier: can you get that stuff about the the can't call we think as fuck a ridiculous? I don't ya, don't speak that way, but I do curse a lot and I grew up around everybody cursed where I was from everybody cursed.
We just we just let it go. You studies tall, you fuck. It said he dropped the effort every once in a while you I watch your mouth but other than that now so do I speak this way? Yes, and now I have refused to places where I dont speak. That way. If I go to church, I won't I'm not that big of it
I would just because I don't believe it, I'm gonna go their ruin for somebody else. You don't believe what you show up. You showed up than shut your face. I respect that you don't of aid.
That's gonna like what you were like those corporate gigs
hey! You wanna, come down here and stand on a picnic table. It do stand up with no microphone in front of our company. No,
Dont will give you seven zero dollars. Okay,
you go down there and because you stand there, he just stand on stage or the book picnic table. A bitch about how the gig sucks it's like what they don't take the fuckin money. That's I look at going too.
Ouch I'm going to go there and ruin it for other people. I get up,
I think people who go to church really listen to this part cats, and if you do that, you have fought right. You like TAT. I blame you.
Anyways, overrated, airplane I'll seats? Why would you want to
So we get bump by people's asses and drink her during card throughout the flight. I'll take a window seat where I can curl up against the side of the cabin as far away as possible from the damn stinky
person sitting next to me? Do I really got have I gotta give you that one cause? That's what I was thinking when I came back from my came back from Dallas Texas at a great weakened out there by the way, great weekends. You could tell my raspy voice you ever raspy voice.
About to shut the one thing that I have in my writer is the data again giving my little fuckin throw called tee the motor oil for my throat
they didn't get. That's all. I have get me the organic throw Coty
however, my right that Lou
sawed off son of a bitch Jeffrey out there at the club couldn't get it done,
he did the all out smack to the forehead. The first night jabers create parts fry.
Night ass. I knew I forgot something
Saturday night, he doesn't even show up. I had a fucking out, you know what I want to the Kabul I went Kemal T say I went out there. The almost got to talk about this, the Youtube,
mom. Again it was fucking unbelievable, even though it was a total blow out in Oklahoma Pictish.
Out of the university of taxes, it's fucking, unbelievable, ok and I would say right now: Sports France, on the east coast by the EAST coast. I mean North of Data, Washington DC. All you motherfuckers outdo, like myself, who looked down on college sports, because college sports for the most part. Basically, sir.
In the New York era area, Boston area, Philly, there's nobody good there, every once in a while. Maybe the eighty Saint Johns villain over the basketball teams were good Rice, Boston, college Eagles with Doug Floaty. We ve had our moments. Button general, even like a stadium, said just little fucking things out there. You know
I think. Even if you go to your pc eagle game, you can still see the dorm rooms in the parking lot. That's when you know like I, like you, you're you're, watching a less than prolific fucking college programmes when they line up for the field goal, and you just watch and, like you know, like a freeway subtract, trailers go and buy, there's always like grass or parties. If party the party, a stadium is long seats.
I think that that's when you know butter, Anyways EAST Coast, bands of football, you owe it to yourself at some point. Just pick one of those games go to.
Michigan Ohio state,
go to war, Oklahoma University, a Texas
Go Alice, you Alabama Alice, you Florida,
we're out of the swamp going to Florida.
Go to one of those big ass, fucking gangs put some money on the game and I'm telling you it's absolutely insane.
And we went to it and it was it was. It was incredible, but was driving me nuts was ask this one guy behind me. I swear to God, damn it it's almost. I go to the movies like there's, always gonna, be one loud person behind you. Do you know that shit they do in college football like when they go to kick the ball off. For, like it's, a critical part of the game and the the away team has the ball
And you don't want to be able to hear the snap count, so the whole crowd just go and just yellin right. There was only one guy in my section doing that any was right, but- and I gotta go into this guy- he did it for the entire half anytime oak law- mad the ball. I mean I'm Talkin, like as they were, calling the play in the calling the police
in so doing hands signals in this guy's trying to out yell hand signals you just got screaming for an entire fucking, half and therewith version. At what point at first, I just
Over, firstly, we both just start laughin just gone. I this is just funny disguise really into thinking. There's no way.
This guy's gonna be able to keep this pace up. It's like watching Lance Armstrong back in
Day when it was when it all is toward a Frances, it's like there's no way he's gonna be able to continue writing this pilot.
The thirty miles an hour up this fuckin mountain he always did and those little french she's would come over right. They make impeded Dixie CUP and its second abou. They couldn't find anything this guy. I had changed my seat. It was fun.
King, unbelievable, and he was like leaned down. Ok, that was just when they will call on the planet and then the guy would want the quarterback would walk up to the light.
Scrimmage and just go up another octave made in my pocket air
and I'm standing there right. I already have like it's like this text. The sun is beating down
me of wide open, so I got like I got son block. Fifty on I got this big had on just lookin like the fuckin genetically com,
remind jackass that I am now I got this
screaming to my ear, and I got one finger and, unlike my right, ear, Cosette societies screaming on ICE
a little old lady watch this football game.
Is one of the best things about the cot ball. When you go to that game, you know it's it's a neutral site
Where is he a Texas is out of often in Oklahoma, Norman Oklahoma, thick?
such cycles. They had to have it at a neutral site, and this is how they split up the stadium rather than having one sides Oklahoma.
The other side is university, a Texas. They split it at the fifty yard, like it's the coolest fuckin thing ever so they split it that way. So, basically, if you're playing in that game, would you listening to the crowd? You could start a drive in feel like you're at home game and then you
Drive down into the teeth of it were about the whole. Other side is the opposite: the opposite teams, fans and all of us
You feel like you're in a road game and that's what it makes that was the best thing about scorn of fuckin touchdown is that you will
You are running out of enemy territory into the joy.
Of everybody going crazy. Welcome you home, like a fuckin war, hero or even better.
The chair on you on, and you just ran into the enemies, fuckin front
aids and you just silence all of them and
all of a minority that likes, but those pretty much Oklahoma the whole goddamn day when they would scorn touchdowns down in the u and they would just stand there staring at the crowd nodded there
I got say we summon up with a fuckin. Most insane thinks I was at the beginning of the game. They had open a homo comes out. First,
in other, come running out everybody's going crazy, disappointing. They didn't bring the chuck wagon. You know,
Blood and would just sit everybody's going nuts right, the guy
he's already scream at right. Ferko, you
go. You, like some noise, makes a noise get Yellin, that shit right and then fuckin when Texas came running out, like five guys on the suitors, came running right up to him and ran along with them like doing that. You know that shit that athlete athletes can do with a they like galloping sideways faster than you could drive a fuckin press or my car right there doing that, and it is not in their heads, talk and shit than the Uti place certain. So look at them. They started
Could she do right? I got the fuckin chills I felt like I was gonna play like this is giving gave, is gonna, be these guys gonna kill each other. They hate each other, that guy I'm just gonna, be fuckin awesome and then, after like of quarter and a half.
Like you too fuckin Oklahoma, like fuckin. Thirty five to three are supported.
The other taxes, people, Fuckin bombed out, half the stadium sit down and then the other side is going crazy and it's not like there on the other
I feel we would sit close to the fifty saw aplomb offence, we're like right next to us just laughin screamin, as I just said
us, because I d you I was like who what word section I'm sitting in I'm rooting for that I want to be a dick right. There's no reason for me to take shit for no fuckin reason right
So there are like I swear to God. It was like thirty five, maybe like TAT thirty five to ten and all that
Excess people just had the winds taken out of the sails scar managers. Just make me sick. Make me forget sick right, every everybody, except for this one guy buying me he's still now it's dead silence
in our fuckin sexual, except for this one guy, he was focused unbelievable, fair. I gotta give that guy five stars is a fair one. Is the funny thing, though, is at half time he left, AEGIS, easier, said fuck it you know, but he definitely put his time and
but that's how bad the the beat down was. But I gotta tell you: I have not getting a sunburnt down as a redhead. I went
body, I bought one, those t shirts that had both their helmets on it is a souvenir and a
You know the sun was on the left side of me, so I just I just my hat. I just take that souvenir, fuckin teacher and adjust drape it over had an on my neck in that damn down my right arm. I left off, and this fuckin guy behind me just starts, give machetes. I bought it ain't gonna
Are you gonna burn up like now? What is it? I got? Ego yeah you we'll vanka, listen! I got fuck. I've been a redhead, my whole life,
you bet your kid like thought. It was funny. Tell you I have a Dell.
Guy actually, when the funny thing somebody said to me, because this guy came by goes of Opel Homer keeps keep score and you're gonna have to die your beard, everyone out of college football fan. My beard is the same color just about
as the fuckin Jerseys of Texas. I don't know it was a fuckin awesome time and it was
as a sports van, it was an honour and a fucking privilege to go see the
Two unbelievable programmes, even though you know Texas, is- is rebuilding it's fuckin awesome. I totally underrated underrated professional football. When you can go there and see again like that, even always a fuckin blow out just a tradition hundred and ten year rivalry, I got it. I got two parachuted in sit. There be a part of that and die in D C.
That legendary stadium, the yard, the cot, which actually read a little bit upon not to bore non sports fans. Boards amazing was they said. It's a house, the dupe built, which was the name of some guy who played for the yes M, you mustangs, who got the death penalty when the best thirty four thirties I ever saw. In fact, I want
at an assembly, Mustang shirt they just go. I couldn't find it one of my size that I liked. I wanted that Mustang horse in just four to say as some you, but you know all the shirt so fuckin available. Second affliction shirt to me nowadays, but anyways this guy do something or other play for the yes m. You mustangs with such a bad ass and he blew up their programme that they actually made the cot bull network, s M you played and die. Then they moved on to the old Dallas Cowboys stadium. There she played in professional sport stadium, and then they got busted for doing
Basically what every other major programme was doing in Texas. They got the death penalty and now they're back at their eyes. They just play at their campus. Now they got to stating, which is actually a really nice stated, but it's only like a forty thousand cedar
and I realize I assume you- I just thought that that was one of those he lets pocket.
I'll go in the real world, I'll go I'll go too far in college,
I assume you are kind of judge that school by their football football programme, but I've-
but that we that's like a really Richie school at that time
rob totally it's what I think the next next you want to come out to Dallas. I'm gonna go out their catches in a semi game that little stating medicinal cool. It's hell, maybe I'll I'll get him when they, when their plain to see you, if it actually happens of tissue, doesn't go to the big twelve, the fucker my talk.
The body of our two minutes it. Although some fuckin Kurt her street here Wallace and that's the podcast for this week, anybody in Norway fit.
Wind anybody that Hitler,
admired in really wanted to look like you know the only body more had more self.
Hatred then redheads lately all these fuckin emails and get from redheads
is. Is Hitler right then all blonde hair, blue eyed, the fuck, is wrong with him guardian pansy. I don't sweat, it was
who the fuck I'm going, that there will never not be fuckin fascinating to me that people could follow that level of a fucking maniac
If you look at it, he ever seen the guy speeches. Does he ever look? It's just that? I'm a fucking lunatic ran down fuckin shaken his head, is stupid, hair, flap and all round
You know, I think I gotta learn how to speak German, to see what the family were listening to anyway,
yeah. Like that's gonna happen, I can't even speak. I came here to speak.
Spanish and over the LOS Angeles somebody for the love of God. Help me you don't be awesome is if I could learn spanish from
but here it alike, are right, but acquirements are
You gotta be allayed you gotta
Your haughty- and I can't do this- my girls in here this isn't even remotely funny she was here. We funding that she punch me in my fucking,
but she's. Not here I want to learn, I knew I figured. I can do razetta stone and if I just had somebody who fucking spoke Spanish, which is shoot to shit with me, I could just start off real slow. You know teach me some slang because, like I don't know, I can't stay
with it. Maybe not. Maybe I should go to the Galapagos islands are go down there I'll get kidnapped. I bet I could learn at real, quick that my freedom was alma.
Anyways that support Castro this week. I hope you guys are listening to it. I hope I tunes. I hope, you'll reinstate me.
Whatever the hell. I dare not on what the fuck I did. What your problem is. You know what it's a big big fucking
internet out there. Okay, this this fuckin guy
Is it going to wait around much longer
somewhere else where I can go, I'm not gonna stick around now wanted.
That's it. That's podcast, go fuck, yourselves, all podcast wishes, but listen through the years over in Europe. I hope to see you on this tour.
Adopt short. One of my shows you gonna get a dvd gonna get dvd out of it. Then your mission is to take that dvd and fuckin. You know only become like a year, some sort of a draw over there, because the great that I'm gonna Europe once a year get paid for being over their jump on their little southwest airlines. You don't drop in Paris.
Yet I would just act like a fucking during American. Let me get wanted them quest salts, just piss em off right. Would that be fun? I don't think you understand. You welcome the big thing in show business you gotta, leave and want more. I don't think I did that this week you guys a great go fuck yourself I'll talk to you next week.
Transcript generated on 2020-03-08.