Hey, what's going on is bill. Burn is time for the Monday morning, podcast for Monday November, twenty Eightth, two thousand, sixteen that I'm doing on November, twenty ninth Tuesday go on on how why I'm ok case you're wondering I got a little gallows, I'm fighting after careful eye to fucking weeks whose kiddo you know I was fighting off and get worse in the Iccat go. Why did you take some medicine? Why don't you take take some of this new annex? I probably shit. Look at my hat off to anybody that can get fuckin drunk offer that stuff Jesus Christ? That's like permits snobs times fuckin. Twenty really is Recent excess, like schnapps on steroids- it's just you know. One of the only others. Have these dumb champ challenges like the mannequin challenge, I don't understand what is the challenge? Just hold still has some

Pans around the room, that's a fuckin challenge had fucked, We go forsaken, a loner landing facon that taken out I'll fuckin Russians they got so freaked out day day, why they went on a here see fit for the next fuckin thirty years before they finally went broke right in the early nineties, because we accepted the challenge of defence, king of the lunar lamb it we ve got there. The lunar land landing challenge now we're fucked in all other manikin plankton. Face down. So we take a picture of me. Jesus Christ. I don't want you. What do you know? What it is? Is this fucking God damned Kuntz young people these days, You know no offense right got blushes fuckin, spend their whole lives with these fuckin rio virtual reality. God damn things in their head. They play video games. They don't have any skills to. Second, you take the fuckin laptop. You take the floor.

Laser tag thing the pig gun, whatever the fuck technology, is the thing that you know that new thing they did that they're trying to old people into virtual reality like, we live in a fuckin life. Is it isn't enough like. I want to leave this Fuckin world release various rather than shit writers, deal data for Canada. Can do anything since such an old man rent do anything that just fucking literally laying face down the road in own somebody takes of pictures is this: is its epic Spock epoch the creators of the 70s they did have pet rocks, so I might be full of shit, but you know what it is the great thing about being old. Is you lack perspective about anything new you're. Just like that's different, it scares me. I dont get the mannequin challenge.

Euro in that that was like date, unwilling to Hell so had the wood. The Harlem shake was initially was a dance, and then it was just that stupid you tube they the ice bucket challenge all that shit, You know if your instincts are immediately to not be part of the group earner. What that says, But you ve on our says about me that I merely iceberg or everybody stone. It will then fuck and I'm not doing it we'll die social, sick, freckled, headed, bald current. What's wrong with you today, hang on, can recall. Ah, yes, I've been fighting, is fuckin thing off. You know, I have a bad fail and it might be what the cigar that I got that there's something

some sort of bacteria, because I was fine and then I smoked with Virzi on his birthday and then I smoked with Bobby Kelly at fucking. Comics come home back to back nights, and then I just had this fucking cough. You don't sound like you inhale the goddamn things, smoke one every fuckin day I smoke one like once. Every two weeks I have been a little bit of burned, ok So anyway, so Sunday night, you know it's been a good fifteen. Since I smoked alright I'll smoke, another one went down with my body. We watch the Broncos Chiefs Game argue, the greatest Sunday Night Football Game, our island, tracker harmony for can lead changes. There were just you know

and I wasn't drinking? I haven't drank since nice, giving I kind of bottomed out thanks given right back at a great thanks, given by the way great fuckin thanksgiving. We ended up day talk about that already. I think I already did. Maybe I didn't. I remember I started talk. I ain't goin to it. Yet that's right! That's what it was like a ship We want to somebody else's for thanksgiving and everything was fucking delicious. Every side was fucking Natalie wishes. It was a home run. Support thanksgiving I've had since I've been a kid when I my parents house near where Mother CUP, so it just automatically tastes right, Gazette ceiling, giving you know right, but at once you move out here in other people's food and what it's always a little bit different? It's not quite the same. You get tat feel in a fuck it's over. I have to a right. Now, I'm gonna get old right. I'm gonna be

person. What happened to him and then I fuckin die blah blah blah blah Blondell bullshit right so anyway, We had a great bucket thanksgiving and I had this fuckin bottle of bourbon. Then I brought that was my responsibility where the fuck is my phone Give this thing shoutout man, you know they say you can't judge a book by by it's fuckin cover Should we judge this bottle just by how cool the fuckin bottle looked. So me, squirrels, whom I was called angels in something or other by the rain like a motherfucker right here I have water collecting up on my roof again: Fuckin Kuntz, it's unbelievable it just fucking justice is not even right. So I gotta get the third fuckin people out here to see if they know how to fix it. Goddamn it. Took a picture of it not go, find hang us Army had passed, I oppose, or I found it

jewels envy, it's a Kentucky, bourbon God damn it was a delicious. An army into other people. Are we finished the bottle and I got like to my asked one, and I was just like you know what I think this it's time for me to shut it down. You know, maybe once in a while, drinking just gets a little bit too fuckin foreign. Then I just shuddered doubts. I walked away called Turkey Thanksgiving night called Turkey a buck and walked away from it and you Makin, a lady. I missed it We ve been four days of still thinking about you sentiment, letters and shit yeah. I was going to shut it down probably until Lamb, let's say maybe the Rosebud use day or what I've already got it shut down? I'm gonna fuckin kid come it's over. It's over. You know what you know. What people are gonna be honest. I had a great run.

The stories you now spent soon few hours in jail. I mean I've done, you know, went to court. The whole. You know. I do apologise the people. I had a very full experience with alcohol. You talk to. Checks at away out of my leg. You know J I did it. I had the whole thing. You know state on the outskirts of bar fights to make sure that I didn't get pummelled so lets it so anyways believing as bad as my colleague sounds its way better than it was fucking. Yesterday I was wasn put you through that shit's what he was so Sunday night, yes smoked in our low cigars, and yesterday I woke up. I just haven't a fuckin coffin fit granite already run down so yes today, I Do shit. I gotta tell you that was like the greatest six hours of my life, not doing shit.

But somewhere in that six hour after the six hours. I was going out of my fucking mind at an eye. You guys do it. You know that you guys just whoever the fuck is out there, that you can just truly take a goddamned day off like a fucking nuts. After six out with great I lay there, I watch like Tooth episodes of West world getting caught up up to like Episode six, and when a watch today, right and law when that show. Although you can't watch more than two or three day, it's just too much man, it's like you, ve gotta, be enough. It's a lot of shit go around a kind of taken. And then also have now doing my own little show that only a half hour when I look at that show, I just think of like how fucking long did it take them to do this and I'm gonna sit here. I'm gonna watch it in two days and then be that do stone when season to coming out. You know it's like itself

fine bottle of wine, and I'm just gonna chug a thing you know after the third glass really tasted it anymore cause, I'm so hammered a miserly drinkin like fuckin, red white and blue beard. Some shit right just doesn't seem right. So many ways, that's what I did yesterday and I feel much better thank Christ. So, by the way, today's the Roma, twenty ninth, which is the five year anniversary since the passing of one of the few these and greatest people ever met Patrice O Neill, speaking of which there are still large sum. Tickets left for the the fifth annual Patrice O Neill Carmody benefit all the Seeds after we pay for the the venue, of course, are only expense. Ghost all of his love. Once it's been a tremendous success, and this year we have.

We have set the whole line up here for God's sakes. For God's sakes, we got Leslie Jones. We get rich, far bigger Bobby Kelly. Keith Robinson Gary Garment Dan, solar, sombre right and myself, Slovenia Great year of I'll just get to see all those people, I never get to see them anymore, cause I'm always out here, given on the road

our living out here and allay, but Bob Bob. So that's gonna be Tuesday February. Twenty first at the New York City Centre and down you know it's just a it's just a greater event and thank you to everybody who come to it in the past years, and you guys have done a wonderful thing. Keepin, always loved ones, comfortable and very proud of that. Whole charity thing because I was tragic, gives was that he was gone, a very proud of the fact that all of his friends stepped up, and then all of his love once a comfortable, because I know that that's what he would have been concerned with, so with that, I'm actually doing another benefit for those. You can't make it to New York City. If you're in the allay area- and you would I too would like to help out

another benefit. I have another buddy of mine that died. So what happens when you get into your 40s man, it's fucking brutal, is a couple of your buddies, die too young. It's awful. This guy PETE come and I started out with him in ninety. Ninety two did stand up. From ninety two, ninety nine and then he moved on to write and with national and poorly did some stuff for the. U have see just a great guy, unfortunately, her heart attack a few weeks ago and now about a month ago, so Tuesday December six at the last factory I'll be doing a had lining, sat there and dumb bunch Its friends from back in the day bunch comics, we have all been on the same, show it forever. Probably twenty years will be going on earlier in the night. It's gonna be a great thing and adds in memory of him. So they? U gulp. Enough with the friends of mine that have passed away. Unfortunately, let's talk about some shit here. I've

I I gotta get to your shadow to fucking Nikko rasper. What in this first formula, one championship, the FAO A few lapse of their race were amazing, ripe for those who are not into a basically what the situation was Louis, Hamilton and won. The last three meagre forget, never one. They both drive from Mercedes, ok so neat goes. The young, upstart Louis is agreed that, even though their both fucking young, it was kind of like days of thunder of both both people. Look like Fuckin Tom cruise is basically it right now like to turn to the Old Tom cruise right, Scientology Tom Cruise verses, Ok, I was at me that they all in where they were the socialists in the graces, the fuck was that movie called. I know that one god dammit always called matter,

and was in it, maybe a west of as a step as dirty dance and guy Roadhouse Guy, the Karate kid was in it. Tom cruise was in it, or else was in fact, movie. Everybody was in fact a movie. Everybody like those in nine people, no fuckin movie at all one seat is how they all went on the star and movies that made. I would love to see how much Fuckin box office every every guy that start Greece. That movie ended up making. You know helping the one fuckin greaser that didn't make it right. That's when he's got lucky self. I do what the fuck everybody In this ensemble cast, I gotta find out what it is now right, Tom, I M D, be how do you spell crews run some spot or to use a use down?

FUCK Kroes to use right areas smiling looking sort of normal for normal, as he possibly can. Well what the outside the outsiders Our idea, we go let's. Let's this. This is too fuckin line up, see Thomas how mad Dylan Rail March, Patrick Swayze E, rob Fuckin low. Emilio Steavens Tom crews right that alone right there, one two, three four, five, six, the first seven guys all went on star in movies. Tom cruise alone is done, billions in box office Matt deal the amount of money he's done, Ralph MACHO, the fuckin, crowded kid Patrick Swayze. Dance and alone forget about go straight when they were in the collaboration class.

Any comes up. I know the time of my life would be go bird grabbing your tits. Swear, Meliodas Steavens right. It was in stake out. He was in fact in the breakfast club. He was in the cowboy movies, rightly play Billy the kid gigabytes. You know how these buck and people are. Then you got a guy like Glenn withdrawn, The fuck happening Diane laying choosing but leave Garrett Jesus Christ. You sold a bunch albums Tom waits was in that fuckin movie. Then there was a William Smith who played the stork clerk. He went by William, he went by. Will you know criminal different story. So anyway, I know what the fuck him to oil, so negro rasper great. So here's the deal the way the points worked out was Louis Hamilton,

had the when the fuckin race provided, Nikko, didn't crash or echo is gonna finish. The race Louis had to win the race and Nikko had to become in. Fourth place or worse, and then We would have. One is all in a row k, but a lot of three peak not there for that. Nobody who the fuck does foreigner, you never see them shit right, so comes down, all Nikko had to do was finished and their place in the window. What Louis Hamilton did the shit was over, so they get down like five fuckin lapsed ago. Negro rasper keys inter place he's a fucking. Dick he passes. There was a red ball carne and all guys I love the guys who announced that there also pockets like whenever there is a path. Joy, God they're always do that shit, it's like you, do have money in that car. Your son in there after reasonable watching this ship is to see a crash.

Like watching hockey, half it's too the game. The other half is towards somebody beat the fuck out of somebody I want. I want Cecily spent around a little bit. You know I wanna see offender right. So many ways so get sent last five lapse. Negro goes around whatever the fuck was in second place, Hockin Burger fuck it now, when those other guys, a team of nicotine, Timor salami, I don't want any of the other drivers jets. My first year watching right, you fucking as is a guy, now, is in second place scenario like what the fuck so Louis Hamilton slowing down trying to let the third and fourth place cars catch up which they're doing right now. There are fucking hey there on the same team, so evidently they had due to Mercedes. You know

If you want the Mercedes teams, if your team calls you and tell you to do something, that's supposed to disobey direct or I'm telling you this is like top gun and fuckin days, a thunder. Sorry, it's just a little touch of a ball of people right so he gives look that they give Louis Direct or to go. Louis. You gonna, drive faster here, come on. We want to win this race. Louis just says it just says back the radio on tv sickly said: well, I'm I'm still in first place and I'm comfortable with my current powers. Should basically meaning like I'm, not gonna drive any fuckin faster and I'm good enough to remove negroes went on my ass. I know he's not going radical around me. You know skin crashing because he's got it so for the last.

Five fuckin lapse, you just on the edge of luck and seat. Like is this guy in third place, gonna go around legal rothberg. He didn't Louis Hamilton, disobeyed, direct order. I believe Robert Duvall came out in the end and started a minute somebody I can't remember, but it was kind of funny like whenever, like they're, both on the podium, which was almost every race, the sheer Nikko Louis like one even look at each other was fuckin like. Oh my god, I'm talking to you right. I, like Sarah, like not even talking to you right now, like those that whole fuckin energy, so Nikko Wednesday, thing: they actually shook hands and there was some fuckin clown interview and I'm gonna kind of block the shotgun Let do that again. It was greater than they just sort of begrudgingly shook, hands or whatever and the guy Just go that's great! It's it's all gonna get. Some ideas like doing is very far from all gonna get so

leave it season, starts up again either the end of March at the beginning of April, and I jumped on this year after they raced Monaco and had a great time fuck. I actually started to think of the sheer amount of fucking money. It must cost to have a goddamn to run a formula. One team. I can't imagine how much fucking money you got a ship that car around the fucking world like nine times, and you know you got a couple other cars you got to bring with it. It's going to cost you a billion dollars. It has to have you ever tried to ship, even your fuckin priests Connecticut. Now so then you really don't know how much it costs you got me whatever. I know it's gonna cost a lot of fuckin money there so because I know this is kind of old games. When I give a fuck, you guys watch solar, best games. I've seen between those two, an alarm fuckin time, I've seen between those two long, fuckin time, Michigan just kept fuck it up when they got the boy

They had the goddamn game one. Do you notice how what's this face there the forever reason I can remember the last named Fuckin culture, Michigan Jim Harbour, you notice, he was wearing the woody haze glasses. I had a theory that if they one he was gonna, take the glasses off on their fuckin logo. On the fifth, yeah limits steps stamp on it. You know I got the jewish people Mary. They step on the fucking glass. He was gonna. Do that what the fuck in his ears Would he hates glasses loved that he called at the referee in an all that shit in nothing. I had a percent agreed with them and all that shit, but you know I gotta get to call right on their first down. I stood up to when I saw live actual idea Then I saw fuck, you get it. I thought he got it anyways, but My Michigan bodies there all texted me that was a home job type of shit, so you like guys it's probably gonna, be Alabama right- that had a nice

an easy time with Fucking Auburn she, the kicker for Auburn. He grew up in an family role, tied family in a ban would didn't give a scholarship, so you mean he goes to FUCK Ann Arbor now and his grandfather calls him turncoat fuckin lunatic down there right, scary, Denison, the whole gang keep going, turncoat kickin! If the three. I think this protest, is remotely funding, but maybe maybe just lap and at me coffin up a fuckin lung here. Anyway, so it's gonna be out of bed rooms. And I'm gonna say it's gonna. Be Ohio State for the championship is all Billy face. Having only watched about fifteen college games this year, having never played beyond the third grade level. This is my prediction

right, organised anyways. I played enough pickup football for the first time ever throughout. My back was playing Fuckin football. It's never been say: veto not set the first at first time was when that kid, but when the figure for leg Larkin, fourth grade outdoor recess as first time I threw it out. The next time was playing football and then the third time was another wrestling thing. I tried to live my younger brother up over my head, like Tony ATLAS in the the upper third mice, buying folded. It felt like and thus give me problems ever since then you know Spargo. I lean on the mixed. It anyways plan ahead. Here I think it's gonna, be it's gonna, be fuckin a high state, Alabama, obviously of picking the number one or two teams, and I think our Bam beats Ohio state. This time simply because I thought I'd say that a lot of problems with that deep staring Michigan and I think Alabama

differences, even better in Alabama, is not going to make the fucker mistakes that Michigan so often made. You know you don't watch in Alabama team and they fumble of fuckin snap on the one yard like they just don't do shit like that, you don't owe me, because what is Face Nick Sabin, that lunatic it he probably fuckin waterborne. You. How angry I do you know that guy makes me feel good about my anger when I see that guy I was joking about this. I did justice, real progress and we were fucking joke about my favorite fuckin thing to do is to ouch Alabama going in like by seven at half time. I love when the half time Porto comes up and start talking to mix, save it, and indeed the look of fuckin anger on his face. All he wants to do is go in the locker roaming call: everybody's mother, a cunt, that's wearing uniform right, but he's gonna sit there and talk to some chicken. The side like go like so why are you

you're down by eight mere suggests it do. You know he just wants to slap the whig right off your fuckin head, but he doesn't do it. He doesn't do what they said. With this fuckin. I don't know what it is on his head up. He makes Donald Trump look like fucking Fabio, Somebody was good here for the fuck, even ass, good here, and you never know anymore right. Everybody goes around, they get, they get the troops from the back. You know, parliament, the button, Let's get put right up on the front line. Now is now what they do, that Let it go swimming and nobody knows, what's going on right. Tat takes a real man like myself to walk around look alike. Charlie brown tell you read it Charlie Brown anyways a threesome advertising here for this week, everybody, let's see what we got here on the dark it about those bruins. Finally, when in a game rights

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I'll do it. I started go to my ship. Is I'm I'm I'm selling my previous right, some going back and I'm trying to find the title to my car, and course I can't find this fuckin thing. I find the title to my wife's car to my car and my old truck, and I also found a copy of a title to this. Eighty eight hundred cord I had like fuckin fifteen years ago I had the exquisite Alex you had. The Alex five speed manual transmission, what a great fuckin car that was, god dammit. I love that car. I found a copy of that, but nothing for the press and I gotta go fuck into the De Vigo copy of it. Now that bullshit and of getting rid of that shit, move on with my fuckin life gonna get a fucking goddamn conference call common, appeared ten minutes of the finnish, the rest, the progress later I apologize.

What it is patriots jets. Did you watch that how fuckin awful that our defence looking first spoken have good Lord mayor. I know we're banged up and everything, but I am a member that town we trade Richard Seymour my time ago in every patriot, fear was I do what the fuck did. We do therefore, and then the people were kind of pay tat. You are like we're. Lucky was a deal next year is gonna, be up for free agency. He was going brazilian dolls dollars, and we knew we were going to give it to him, and then we would have got nothing for him, so he traded on the year before why she went on this website. They showed all the trickled down from that thing that trade, when all the players, we god how we could be more aggressive because we got First Richard Seymour, I'm hoping the same thing. Is that happen this year with sir? Are you not

Fraid Chant, Chandler Jones. We lost him to free ages, free agency, but a fuckin do that we sent to cleave, on which I keep it. Jamie Collins, maybe that'll turn into something better. I don't know is unhealthy as we are, I'm not I'm not. I don't know I'm not giving up. I never give up. I'm just saying you know what the fuck it's a goddamn jets. They were fucking going crazy to every fucking play they made. They were going fucking nuts, you know like they just fucking like that was their playoff game, which I respected they fucking came to play but anyways. So this whole fucking weekend. All I did was watch football, and I was looking for that title and in the process of looking for the title, I cleaned up a bunch of my shit and I was Thinking with a kid common alone, I'm not going to have time to do shit, but life is gonna. Keep hit me. So I want to know why insurance forms are where every fucking piece of legal, yet that I need

You know, I mean like deejay tracking number and all that I'm gettin all that stuff organised and am I had all these fuckin shit that I held on to four I'd. Like that my insurance, Otto insurance contracts from my two thousand seven until now like it expires twelve months after you get a bill. You ve held under the ship for nine years longer they need to. So I read it a lot of shit, but underrated just finally going through your office and just organizing everything, I kind of know where, like everything is now- and I want to- I want to do that kind of for everything that I have so when my kid comes here and then takes a marker out and draws all over everything I'll know where the fucking shit, it's alright, let's, let's reed, read some more some questions here for the weak, Stan, hope special. Somebody writing about the great Doug stand up today. Bill used european my code to sign up for sea? So so I could watch stand.

Helps new special I've heard nothing but great things. He said holy shit you're still, my favorite but stand hope is a genius You guys always have to do that. You still gonna take the piss out of me. I know he's fucking tremendous. You know Why can't you just say this guy's, a great commie diet bill. I beg, but this guy are we, Everybody, the internets gonna, do it with you, have a good bit someone's gotta just sit there be like do I love you guys, but it's fuckin Doug stand up these are fuck, I know, is a genius you'd have to take two percent of areas fuck and better than I'm fuckin cunt they said I was more. People knew a bottom. I felt the same way about you years ago, when you were just a comedy baby. Tell you people at NET what's to give him the Chapelle treatment love. You me and you I've heard nothing but great shit about that. Sorry, That's a less about the regular beaten other MIKE cover Fuckin amateur. My

Well, what you tell me: every comedian has known about Doug stand, help since probably the late nineties and down dog is what shows caught movies. You know you're the guy you, you always has to turn in his badge, cause he's doing shit outside the system, but he's got a gun heart and, in the end, the arrest, the bad guy. It's all good, that's who stand opus right but entertainment industry hasn't figured that out yet, but eventually he will be still sitting on their fucking city hall steps as they given the key to the city, that's what I'm hoping but I rule with all of these guys is idle. Watch this stand of special just because I can have an hour and an hour and a half of this ship floating around My head does it'll influence I'm of two paranoid about that. But my rule is that, with all guys Rogan stand o Blooey Chapelle all of these guys that if they come into account, the club that I'm at and

they're gonna go do is set. I will watch him, that's how I do it, but I don't watch their specials. Cause I'm too paranoid about any sort of overlap or whatever. But having said that, every time. Doug stand hopes. Specials come out always always always for like three to six months afterwards. Comics it just take me cycle, do to have you seen, stand obstinate fuckin, special yeah, he's fucking incredible and I don't know! Well, I don't know why. I don't know why what it is about comics like that that they just stop at nothing industry just walk. Give the same Aren't you noted is, at the end of the day, with the above a question about an artist you like just imagine,

stand up on tv, trying to sell your writs crackers. Ok, how long could you talk about those crackers before they would have a major fucking comprising there's when it comes down to a right? There's the people that are truly are the grades and then there's the people. There are really good. But they won't fucking. You know they can sell a boxer, writs crackers, that's what kind of comes down to it! Doug stand up is one of those fuckin. Guy is what makes some great. So maybe that's what it is. I like that. Those guys like that you gotta have the fuck. RO guys you know remained. I can't have everybody just fuckin hanging out with Eddie Showbiz, you know in a fuckin Nero and Election party. You don't know in talking about issues high fuck, insanity, sin, SAM Cakes and I'm here to talk about the fucking

the slaughter of baby seals and all that they know that mainstream like step off your private jet, take the time to give a fuck for today. Minutes before you go back to yelling at your personal assistant, theirs level of connecting with people there's what stand hope does where he fucking goes. Where thereat guy is literally played. I would say you know, let's these ten thousand comedy clubs in this country he's played it. These nine thousand nine hundred and ninety eight of their fuckin guy, has played as much as I've done a bunch what that guy has been fuckin everywhere that's! Why that's? Why he's as good as he is, that new work ethic he's fucking prolific he's one of my favorites of all time. So I wish I knew what the name of this special was. Maybe I can like gotta look at. I looked it up, you know, and I got here I think at this conference called I'll, be right back and allow us to have the name of the special. What you think about that, and this would be like

Can I get eighth of a second life just like that fuckin millennials, what their virtual reality glasses. What said over their law, which I fucking hate their commercial with kids just sitting there freak in the fuck out like they don't realize that it's not a real world and then the greedy corporate So. What are they gonna? Do they gotta have the old, curmudgeon guy, like me, actually older than me, and they would you kids do and then he puts it on and then, of course, he's completely enamored right now he's be into the shit get the fuck out of here, for those glasses. I swear to God. Man, like the amount of people that are gonna, get mugged, while they have fucking things on in public, because our tearing out these fuckin kids so damn stupid there, where one, those like on a city bus it just fuckin haven't on there. You don't owe me that's like lock in the work on a little pocket baskets with what cobra in There- and you stick your head, but you virtual reality, glass glasses he can't see the snake anymore cause you're in

ok, now in the middle earth. The old man's come anatomy this week. I'll hang on a second right, not back just like that, an hour of fuckin conference calling her. Don't you wish you were me: zero better than a conference call her, get on and make a call and have a conference. Everybody can talk and Share ideas. Have another hour. You life go by that you're, never gonna get back This, I will name you know it's my Christmas list this year it is pajamas I've had the same pair of fuckin pyjamas for like our out, even though how look like I don't know, maybe early Thousands do you know. I'm trying to think all this shit that I've watched on tv in these jammed jams and I've just had it it's fuckin over and I've, really dropped, not even they hit. I just demanded energetically

get to be my age, because no one gives a shit about anymore. You can ask for something for for Christmas. You gotta start you gotta make demands with like a touch of a threat, Kay em just say that there will be in everybody's best interests. If I got some new projects this Christmas, that's all I'm saying you like. Will you let me you like the release of James, fucking tree anyways and then no matter. What? Then you end up being relegated IDA fuckin arguments, my wife this week about the way she fuckin stacks up the dishes and sink you don't mean of your wife. Does this ship but they'll be like a pot sitting in the fuckin sink, and then they have a plate right. What do they do? They stick the plate on but the thing and then they take another bull and they stick it. On top of the plate

and you just got this leaning tower of horse shit in your pocket sake, So why don't you put the plate underneath the pot and then just see if the pie, can fit the ball? The balkan fit in the fuckin pot, and then it takes like a third of the space You ever think adored that fuckin gig in all make wrote rather make it look like this ten weeks, a fuckin dishes here this is like to meals, one of those fucking those fuckin dumb arguments, were you end up getting in your car and driving away and then afterwards Sidney go to find out, I'm literally driving down the street right now, contemplating giving this woman everything that I own in moving into a one better apartment over the way she stacks dishes and sink. But I'll tell you when you live with somebody, it seems so. Fuckin important are right time off dear Billy body, I think your awesome thank you and admittedly, I have a crush on you and I'll. Let go on the left

I was gonna, be an I'm a dude love, you take care of yourself and are always striving to be better. If this is great I've, you know what, if I were you guys listening this right now, I would be highly suspect of whether or not I actually wrote descent. Husband and I haven't seen you live yet and we want want to this year. If you happen to be coming back to whiskers well, where the hell were you a few months ago. You know and you develop discretion October. I was there in September. Do you think we touring as much or will you be taking the year off to spend time with your new born? View, and I love NEA I'm telling you to be the absentee father hurry. Have that worked out. You know we do like fifty six weeks well now. Obviously my sketch- would be a little bit different beyond what do I do? I don't know I do know. However, dad, you know,

I'll get ready. Do my special rather and do in one night in every city. You know when I did that little by players, Molly Theater and I spent a week and Durham just Thursday Friday Saturday eyes much more enjoyable way of doing the road rail then, do in one night, Durham, one night and fucking Gipsy one night here it just becomes a fuckin, thrash you when you're in old fellow, like myself, you know, I like go into a place hang out what the people seed where they eat go into a game. That's how I always fuck and did it saw me to try to do more of that and I was just in medicine and funny you should bring up going back to my wife was constant. Was I've been to Milwaukee and well. I guess it was October it's amazing? I can always remember this. It was like October of twenty fifteen so It's bad will count December at this point. So it's been fourteen months. So deaf,

we had twenty seventeen We will be coming back to Milwaukee, I hope I plan on spending like three four days there, because that no okey had not only a great cigar bar it had the best fuckin steam. Any place. I've ever been to, and it was at a hotel called the figure I swear to God in the hotel is called the filter it. Please p s I ask tee, are if you in Milwaukee Dude, I'm telling you member walkie, dont, by Milwaukee great people, great food, great fuckin, lakefront. Property for a song right in the cities, fuckin steam Romeo ever gonna go into you, get your own private, like life's also the rich and famous fuckin? It's unbelievable. So you know when you get to my fuckin age debts to type a shit. That's appealing to you on the road. You know what I mean: it's not

my god do. You gotta go to Miami. They got all these hot chicks, thallium, a fucking, creepy old, married guy. Where is there a steamroller list? I got tuberculosis time for the who was any is so yet I am actually doing Steve Alan Theater and whatever the fuck that call it now and I'm just basically running my whole new, our I'm so Falcon excited I've gotten ass the whole morning period of Miss in my old jokes path, the whole. Now not it's funny. As I was on stage. You know, I took all the bullet side of the gun them shoot and pocket blanks. This. Is my favorite fuckin thing in the world I'm so excited tonight about the show and just see where it goes, and I got a couple of bodies might come down who were musicians so they're gonna get to see that off

because I already told him was: I got you guys want to come down. This is going to. This is going to be the real deal. This is not the old tried and true they're, all right, with being single valve already like this radio, hey the master of pockets. I've been single, my entire life I'm in my letter, twenties and still haven't found any lady that I really hit it off with I've stopped being single for a long time, but I've been working through it. I'm ok with it, but I still have my dark moments. My question to you is: when you are single for all those years, did you have get lonely or feel alone. Did you ever think you'd be single forever? What helped you doing? you're through those times it? How did you cope with it? so that, as I figured some things, I've been doing It lists types of stuff that helps me get through it. Yeah do that's a grey. Things to do when you single go. Do all that shit. You want to do

because you know you meet somebody else, you you know you might not have the time. Process says I've gone to see. Some of my favorite bands play live, I've travelled a little and I've been working towards finding a career path that I really enjoy. So I believe- and I am doing some good but I still have my days when I suffer through it a little, but I learn to sit in that pain years did find good things. Saying something dumb at work? I let the next I thought there was a guy signing off the woman who ever the fuck. This is, my question to you: is you been single Those years did you ever get lonely or feel love? Here's the thing I was never lonely for them. First, I don't know how many years of my life until I had a girlfriend amen, lost my girlfriend and then after that, that's the first time like all I dont have a chick. It's weird. I didn't have my first Sears girlfriend till I was like twenty three some like that. Twenty two

Twenty three years old, so I was I would be in single. Nothing lasted like I like eight nine months and out break it up with her, and I was ready for a start. Don't stand up, Do I member of the first six weeks, a bit like fuck how loans are to take for me to get over this person and its way. Man like getting over a person? It's like it's like went in the bows it's a but they're a habit. You know I mean I always call him at this time than you. Gotta fill up those fuckin times, but just can't Phil em up you kind of gun, through the morning of them now being there any more and then you start Phil, but other stuff, but like dude, I think travel seeing beds everything. The great thing is due to the fact that Europe, eighty, the fact that just single and you feel alone as a very healthy thing.

The Euro may now you're totally fuckin single and you didn't feel lonely at all, Guess maybe you know, maybe you just a fuckin someone who doesn't want to be with anybody that could also, because I do not our killing people, you don't mean, No, you don't feel the need to hunt erosion. I feel in his eyes, you're, alright, with whatever you're doing then we should be fighting during your fuckin lay twenties. Do trust me some day you gotta be married. You can have a fuckin kid common law. I got right now and you the sudden, all your drum videos, you think I'm a guy get rid of those angle. You read all this shit. I gotta get rid all this stuff and theirs. Failing that, I'm having right now will I ever played drums again, but fortunately the coolest woman ever so I just was able to sit down with it. Is this might help you if you're afraid to get no a relationship, does you feel you gonna lose all this stuff? You just like the person, you're with no what's important, said my wife, I said, listen he's a deal.

Like once a week. Ok, you pick a day once a week when this kid is not sleep through the night and you can just go somewhere, get a massage. You just go someplace fuckin sleep or I'll. Take the kids drive around I'll. Let you sleep the fuckin hours and hours whatever the hell. It is. Ok, all you gotta do is. Let me keep playing drums taken drum. Since in that shit that'll be my spot. Think as I don't really need to sleep, because I'm a fucking lunatic and also, I still get to do the road twice a month, and you know I'll use that time to sleep I'll do my shows at night and then I'll go right to the hotel, and I was sleep till the fucking cats come on. The cows come whatever the fuck. An animal is and then I'll come back recharged. You don't owe me, but we we make sure that we can work that stuff out with each other, so you're afraid to get no relationship. Just know that is cool people out there as long as you are

yeah, you never hear me says, but women in general, pretty cool. If you just tell him what the fuck and deals, but I have issues women, so even as I said that just picturing how many women, just when, like all my God, yes, that, like that annoyed me even other agreeing with me when I got a lot of can issue so yeah deftly for felt like I was never gonna meet the one I felt like those, something wrong with me and all Cyprus of Shit. Just now, this everyone in Europe friends, that's in a relationship is sick. We envious of you, even if their with the right person that's how much fuckin work it is. You know Every once in a while, you know I look at fucking nuts, I look at it. I look it up. They boy like Joe De Rossa and I'll, be god damn it man what the fuck, You guys get always key skis live in the life. You know did you know you come home and your wife makes some fuckin cookies. You like this is pretty cool to say.

Something dumb at work. So what about saying that this person Youtube you find to deregulate twenties. The same way that you have goals with your career and buckled stops. You have. You should have some goals about the kind of person that you want to be with like women after actually do shit like that women actually sit down and think about the kind of guys don't do that we disorder. Ping pong around I'll stick. My fuckin, Dick imaginary idiots You actually, you know, get a little bill. Bela check, you know see. What's missing, you know from your half, see what you're looking for? What do you want You don't do you want a woman at once, kids, they one woman that can cook. Traditional do you want a career woman like? What do you want? You know how I can tell you right now. If you want a woman, there can cook will actually sit down and cook O day right now. It's like

You liked what every once every known, how many years here there that that nineteen eighty three draft like women, do not for women do not be cookin anymore. All this stuff there's some shit. It's really a sad thing, but men have enough it's our fault, because we, we didn't put a value one great about that to my ass. You ready a pickle cucumbers right. We just gave him shit, making he'll, for somebody is one of the nicest issue could ever do you know what We talk shit. We gave weeding refunds in respect of Malaga. They do want to cook, be mothers. They run around Willy nilly, wherein pants suits Ronan running for president of the United States at that a job. The other funny spoken. Whoever is how sick you have to be to want to be present at the fact that Hillary Clinton is depressed right now that she didn't a job where she was going to put her head in the pillow every knowing she just made a decision that bombs were just dropped it

possible, landed on somebody's baby and she she's she's depress the cheating, get that fucking job. It's unbelievable when you think are pajamas look like she definitely has the fuckin guy once right, like the flannel in the past suits I liked appeared suits, are unaware, but to give a shit about it. I always like rota. You know. Wrote Mary Tyler more: they fuckin filled those things out in a walk around the little Bundy's They re on our I say something dammit work saying so: damn it work. Ok, what do we got? You fuck, you guys might have adjusted less bitter You know what that's a country move I'll, read this and then I'll. Do the advertising hey bill, long time fan, probably listen to you too much to once again you start with a compliment than you gimme your fuckin share to the kidney like tat. Probably listen to you too much. I too too much when it's too much

that's. That's too owes night here's my problem, I was, I was at work party, aiming at a word party talking to my car eggs I work as an hour in an icy you. Ok, that's a registered nurse in an intensive care unit. I have some nurses in my family- We have a new. To our unit higher joining us, but she's worked as a nurse for twenty five years already, my friends, she's joining my rotation. I say out loud in my typical billboard burns in, election. Oh geez, though jeez another all broader, align their several com, legs heard this, and now every day is some new. Who, on my comment, some Doping is fine, but half the unit is over fifty. I want some Joe comment. I dont want some Joe comment to help me pot me for years Bill hideaway,

get this to go away thanks. I would just say with a I wouldn't back off, I would just keep doing the Archie Bunker, cheese and other rural brought an on line there and then, when they take, this lady to world all you with your men are positive, but you can't do that at work. Now you can't do that. Work, you're, not making it a fair play. This isn't a fake bay. My god that alone that alone give Trump about two thousand foot fuck adults, saying you're, not making this a safe space. Just fucking. Did they all have a meeting, and they came up with that. Fucking horrific that that what what was the second choice, I just I understand that.

You know something. I have to be honest with you. I don't know how you get out of that in right there. That's why I do what I do for a fuckin living, because there's no way I could being that level of a childish, fuckin environment What did you mean about their order? What about me fuckin thoughts? If you had your head today, you old fuckin bag, They were publicized that you'd even instil a job as a nurse get the fuck out of here. You don't you know? I just guess you know what like sweets, just come in just big fuckin pie or some shit anyways I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm sorry you caught me, but you know what you're so kind of blamed me a little bit there. We see. Listened me too much. Are you gonna do with give it throttle a blame. You wanna know manning there we're protection issues, as we just did to me. There. I would just, but you still bring in that there is still bringing you should hear what I said this morning. Some like that. I would just do that. That is kind of funny.

Who gives a shit? Do you like the job and all depends on how much you like the job. What she's all your all old, I wouldn't fuck any. You I don't know I don't know, I don't know how to get out of it. If anybody has any suggestions, tweeted at me and I'll fuckin retweeted, maybe this person follow me on Twitter. Can help him out but I know you are a man or a woman. I have no idea dollars, a club, I'm guessing me if you're, a woman, you cause woman ever that you said that not all brought dollars shape club dossier. Up, delivers amazing, affordable raise is right here where every month you can get a great shame, but razors out the only thing you need in the bathroom. What some shower stuff? What about when you weren't real tee? turns out dollar shade club thought of that too. They just came out with a new line of shower products. Ship

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with me on this goddamn level. Here am I supposed to believe a stroll how time flies it's like a year. Looking back. Finally on this is weird. I was seventeen when me and my class went on a school trip to Syria puts in Paris sees. Middle EAST go fuck yourself. Jesus. I know American. I know where serious. One day, all my classmates we're out snorkeling. I stayed in the hospital bed because I had a fever too Sprints later I found myself looking for my class In sauna, like temperatures with food this mindset, my blog blue eyed nature, fig figured the aspirin had cured my fever, so I was in quite good speed. It's for about seven miles of searching. For the other Swedes since creeping me out now the fever was taken back and in at this point

And I ve given up my endeavours of snorkeling, I didn't know where I was or how to get back to my hospital. At that moment, a taxi pull over the driver asked if I wanted to get a lift. I didn't have any money to offer, but he insists that no money was needed for the ride. Oh Jesus is right. Yes, I feel good amounts of gullibility, led me to step into the cab and off we went. I welcome the SIRI, the taxi guy said you are very beautiful. Gonna be rude, so I said thanks back it up, then he asked me if I liked women sure I replied that he asked if I like big women, sure I said, and he said I you like big because same with your dick, he said what. At this point I regret at getting to that what the fuck you like big, because same with your dick, he said, Ok, I thought this was a woman. So it's a guy and others do Jesus here we go at this

I regret getting to the taxi very much in the moment after he was reaching for my package. While he was driving? Do that's. Were you in the front seat? That's why you gotta do what was that Fuckin Schwarzenegger movie or it gets. The plane, what that guy and he pretends to tie issue when it comes up with the elbow death and drive spine of his nose into his brain then puts his little fucking. Abraham add over his face and he goes to disturb him he's dead, tired, that's she needed to do was at raw deal other you needed to go raw deal there. Many ways I say no stop, I said, but the tree see driver was very sick, persistent He wondered why couldn't touch my penis like. I owe the right to do so. I was extremely vulnerable being eighteen major foreigner and having a high fever at all. I shouted and stop the car, but he kept on going. Do you gotta, start

Dave, the hammer shelter. We got a fucking you gotta start swing in man. Buddy dont going. I thought about jumping out of the car, but I was it was going way too. Fast? I also didn't want to start a fight and risk crashing. The car Jesus point: do you gotta pick your poison didn't have airbags picture of Taliban rape, caves with pop fiction, keeps suits. Balls was entering my mind. Is the taxi car continue to drive on without any intend to pull over? This is really happening o my lord, I thought to myself. Luckily, we came to a traffic light. They managed to get out of the car and on the pavement ice running when I heard him screaming at me. One syrian pound, Mr Gardiner Gonna, get paid forget I am from less than you. I got all the eggs

he's is pretty soon in it have not affected my life to extend no fuckin way be. Sometimes want me to tell the almost rape story and given preference, of the taxi driver. I can help to think how, on funding it would be if I were a girl, almost getting raped in Syria yeah, but you're a guy So it's fuckin on everything that happens do guys hilarious. Nobody gives a shit Michael. Into euros Why? Is this kind of wisest We kind of funny if it happened to men but often everywhere and happened to woman. Your thoughts on that after you go fuck self PS say hi to lovely me? This is why it's funny, because you're able to fight above its a guy. An accident grab, your dick. When you too, the story of my friend, my friend, just like your that baby right just hilarious. That we withdraw the comedy seller, we're all telling stories Bogot molested his kids, and it was one of the funniest nights. I love it

it was so fuckin cathartic and we would cry and laughing Remember all comics, were you know? I don't know how to. For an up we're looking at it like it was fucked up, but it was fuckin hilarious to me and if you only the story I would be left for my ass off is still knowing that you, you probably have some sort of fuckin issue in all the pants. It all depends if that was the first person ever touched. You. You know. No girl ever gave me a hedge, the fact there was a first guy that ever did it. You know his hairy fuckin hand coming over and I could possibly fuck you up, but you know. Do you have a little bit of sexual activity? Maybe it doesn't? You know it's kind of like you know if your relief pitcher and you got a key, got some saved under your belt. You let up a homerun yeah. Give me another fucking ball, but that's your first fucking picture when I can fuck with you. Why is it not funny when it first a woman's assemblies, what's it like watching a guy get punished in the head is fuckin funny in off you

like talk and shit. It's fucking funny. You don't mean, but, like you. Kids, women animals like this is never anything funny by watching him get abuse, but this just something hilarious about I would say the reason why you get having your dick, then get molested is funny is big, this same reason why the three stages is funny. You know imagine that stooges, if it was women grab So the by the hair and slap in the face, be a little funny. I don't know it's just like a guy think we like slapstick and there's just something funny about him, You fuck stick in some car and then he charged good ones. Period pound. You know Really comes down to is, I imagine, being gay is not accepted even remotely and serious. So this guy thought like I'd, even if this doesn't go down or if it does down this story, leaves this country and goes back to Sweden.

So the way I want to say that cabdriver was the victim and not you and stop being so selfish fuckin with the sorry that happen to you will you do? I mean I mean you are kind of asking for cause. You run cold medication blame the victim here. Let me what were you wear it? and I'll do that's one of the more, I want to say that one of the more fucked up stores ever heard, but yet that's just goes into that file. I've had enough of those once yet. That's why it's not funny So I would actually say that you are fucked up. There's no way you not fucked up was that happened to you. And there's that feeling words just likewise that funny when it happen, to a guy, and then you feel, like you can't fucking, You should just yea nom over it. Likewise, jets are horrific, fuckin thing that happened to you and I'm even like Lance and over the whole thing, is it's a guy like a fuckin shake it off, shake it off on its part, a grown up together

a brute there's. Some I'd rather be somewhere to come out your junk at some point. Well! That's just how it is. I remember that fuckin that lady cut the dude Dick off put it the garbage disposal, one of those shows its not the view. I think it's. The talk the asian lady. She was reading it and ass. She was reading the details. They are all snickering laughing and I reckon bit? I was: do one of some guy cut a woman's titty, often through the garbage disposal. I mean they that a week long special on that they want to try to help the lady out ray some money to get her a prosthetic in order, means or brow, wouldn't be all lopsided, that's what the fuck they do, but apis to guide. Fuckin, a Larry's and I also think that that's why guises so fucking funny. You know. Cause. You know they for woman gets me lest it it's a tragedy of foot, happens to a guy. It's a sketch

We really don't have any options, you just gotta shake it off man You haven't said all that dude, I'm sorry that happen to I'm sure you're emotionally fucked up about it, but I would love to hear that story one time, because I want to hear you imitating the guy you know Listen everybody get a rapid awake. Yet how fast will you go and do what you couldn't jump out of the car he's grabbing your dick. And then everybody lap I got you haven't you jumped out that he be like holding onto your dick, like stays here. In the car as part of the car right stretching out you dick you know than you have one of those needle dicks, because this can I give you any more. Girth is just gonna without that's what the whole fuckin thing would be friends would laugh and say that you wanted it. You don't Why didn't you sit back like a normal person? Why just sit up front? You know that's what guys would do and they would laugh. You know you just laugh you way through it. So anyways. I guess I'm gonna stop there on the get. Let's stop when some

positive. Once again, I have to benefits that are coming up to two friends of mine that are no longer here becoming mama. Israel is gonna, be December. Sixth, at the lab factory I will tweet that link and the Patrice O Neill the five year Anniversary of his passing is today DA the one truly positive thing that came out of that is we get to remember him. And we get to see our friends and we get to raise some money for his love once every year and it's gonna be February. Twenty first, a Tuesday, two thousand seventeen at the New York City Centre, Thank you to all who take the time to check it out and buy. Some tickets means the world to me. That's it go fuck yourself, oh by the way You wanna, donate to this part in that to give any money to doing some Christmas shopping on Amazon go to bill. Burdock confers click on the pie cast page, you click on the

Amazon Link doesn't cost any any extra money. I just get credit for DR and traffic there do you want to do it? I get it. If you don't, I understand. That's it go fuck yourself and I'll check it out here on Thursday.