Hey, what's goin on? How are you it's bill? Birds? The Monday morning, podcast from Monday December, twelve, twenty eleven. I am sway a roast and bake in boy like a sullen abstract and sick you like my voice draw I'd like a fucking sick. This week, too much Vulcan travelling around too much fly it all over. The place stood always fuckin bullshit. What I did I forget, woke up shook too many heads scratch

My nose in here I sit hang our wide. Second, every by air right, that's fucking gross Europe. Have a beard is awesome until the other called gonna leave it at that Jesus fucking Christ, you're funny, as I I unlike eighty, that sort of eighty sick. You know. It's fuckin enabling started my guide, their Christmas shopping, which is something I don't even know why I have two fucking. Do it now? Christmas is the most fucked up holiday.

On the face of the earth, I don't get, what is it you know? Can we make up our minds? Is it Jesus birthday or is it the fuckin, the fat guy, coming down the chimney? You know it's pulse. You know supported, I gotta go with Jesus our Christmas, that's who I gotta go with I like Jesus our Christmas. I like Jesus. I like a mad cows this time. I live Jeez is causing. Got the water red wine like Jesus? You know why cause adaptability, fuckin gifts, for that is so be it areas. It s so be right. Oh eighty lose his father. There was. His father who art Heaven.

It's his father who isn't have it you're not trying to nip pick Our father, who is an avid big up too, he fuckin kid me me fucking I'll fuckin, where it is to be the sick living in a desert. Our thank everybody came out to the Braer improve this weekend. I had aroused some time out their polish eyes about a little bit grubby. You know I just fuckin traffic always gets me, go out there and always gets me Europe. It just kills me let it get. You know like. I, love live in a less Angeles until I get on those goddamn highways and then I feel unbelievably claustrophobic, as I just feel like. There's no fuckin way out some shit we're down. Where do I go? There's no wife is nowhere to go.

You no matter what the apocalypse comes. I'm just gonna get my Gm James, I'm gonna put out a robe get out whatever, whatever fuckin angry persons. Gonna come down from Heaven cause he's mad at me, cause I rubbed, went out to the marriage chick down the block. You know you think you're gonna fuck, it scare me are you will, but you think I'm gonna fuckin dress. Like I'm scared, you think I wanna get on those fuckin highways and do some food. We'll drive to wear Vegas the fuck. Am I gonna guard when a sinner, my fucking job jibs, it's like say that if I could jab jobs at a drink, some tea do right now. Oh hello, demon from another world. Do I not have enough fuckin saintly frequent flyer? to get upgraded into Heaven.

I don't know what you're so fucking excited about. You go down to hell with me. You can't you know when we join forces intact, those up and first class what you say right so anyways. I you know sector was so fucked up about the population problem in this world is we could just fucking deal with that right now in an easy way, rather than go in the hard route? You know

just right now. Let everybody have one kid. She got that thing. That half looks like you half looks like your wife and could be like I've continued. The bloodline right, then you want more kids. Just go out and adopt is plenty of fuckin kids around the world sitting a fuckin muddle trying to dig out a goddamned diamond, so you can fuckin pay. Nine zillion dollars for it give it to you fuckin, broad, our Christmas euro. Why don't you drop one of those diamond digging, sons of bitches teach in the language, little fucker over the back yard or make your fortune. You'd have to dig it up. Little adopted kid, dig it up. You know what do we do, that we need Let's of all people die and you let people fall

fuckin ladders and all that type of shit the population would gradually go Drat doubt now. Everyone just gotta, keep keep you know they haven't brand brand new kids, that's what they want. A brand brand new kids. Nobody wants, nobody wants use. What use was it take a take, a chance on a barn know. You know some little kid with the with the original motor up in up in the a bar for the last twenty years, air match numbers. You know what that then, you teach, you might be a good kid little body off restoration, little rotisserie right. So anybody else what the speech that you love, that fuckin channel I'll fuckin love that jail. I love watch them taken cars that I like, and they re doing. I don't like the custom shit. I don't like what the outside looks like it. All car added the inside Euro looks like a fuckin wrappers failure it.

All leather all everything's, all I don't like it like that I feel like that. Everything's reminded me of a song today. I like what they just you. Do you a big on the fuckin interior, which is why I know about the dodged challenger, the outside of their cars fuckin spoonful. I love it. You know, I see it by heart. Starts racing would have my hands goes into one of my pockets. I get it. I get arrested for lewd behaviour with an inanimate objects. I loved, but I get in the fuckin thing and I might as well be sitting in a crisis.

Three hundred I dont see what with the fucking deal, is. What's the deal, we're gonna look like shit. Hang on the worst when I get sick, when I bite into your pack my pay when I get sick everybody out just when I get sick, what I do I just act like I'm, not sick, and I just continued to do the shit that that normally do you know I don't run around. You know yesterday a fuckin secondary

tell me, then I got a little. You re United States bear the whole day a drink liquids. It's like you, I'm not doing that. I have a cause. I don't have cancer right fuckin! You don't owe me. I can drag liquid laid on the couch watch in football. She got so fuckin mad at me because all my bodies colony on Football Sunday, you know because we gamble we throw their money around just with each other. So there's a lot of texting. There's a lot of shit talking in their type of stuff, and I gotta get on the phone

Two, while defend myself of what are my picks, isn't coming through Tamper Bay pocket. Here's the fuck happened in those assholes yesterday her I thought that was away. Fourteen, not that I was all set out, even watch the game when the catch you don't make it an english muffin come back, it's like fuckin. Seventy two fourteen, so anyways any wage. My friends just kept calling me and I kept pick up the phone and I was talk and shit. She just kept glared at me. You know really made me man, You don't like what the fuck. Let me be sick, how I wanna be sick, you're mad, because I'm sick About a Jew, because Eddie! You not doing the thing you did you do to get better. I am going to fuck it fuck. It sit, notably in the fuckin couch.

What does the terrorists will be laid or the fuckin couch watch television as it was late in the fuckin bedroom, with nothing stared at the goddamn wall? You know what a certain boded whatever their that's. Why pocket people mode? Whether you know you? Don't fuck a tv? You start voted no right. You miserable you, tat faculty going. You forget, you have a call special with all this shit as fuckin calls this year I got out even recognize Vienna felt more. You know. Why is it illegal to cover a fuckin, wide receiver wire, five guys break dad Marinos yardage for the year record. You know it's such fuckin bullshit. I had the giants, yesterday Gettin Ford right either banning. Is the fuckin mad right. You know what he's like he's.

Sir EDA fuckin Pate Manning is like Venus Venus, came out early right in areas like all Oh shit, look at readers, Venus, you're gonna win every thing right, their work. But all of us came out of pocket nowhere bam. She starts the winning Eli Manning has way more come from behind wins. Then Peyton Manning does uptown you he does and I would rather have the ball in his hands and patents. Euro coins argue gladden role, your eyes. Their stat boy come at me with fantasy football stats from games won through sixty both of them had the ball in their hands, with only a minute left in the Superbowl one drove down the victory.

The glory the legendary status, the other through a pic six to lose the fork insuperable. How many times this year. How many fuckin times does Eli Manning half Dewitt again? on the last drive to get some goddamn respected this fuckin league? That guy is a beast he's a fucking beast, yet it hasn't throws many fuckin yards share, he's not he's funny in the commercials, but if you want wins, that's your mad! That is you fuck man. I am totally sir.

On that motherfucker right as opposed to tony Rob. Oh that's why you know that's! Why pick the giant yesterday, so I can go on and have ceased. It's gotta be a close. Fuckin games can come down to the water. The balls gonna be an e lies here, Tony Ramos Head Europe, but because, where they cover fucker receivers there, the goddamn gave one and they give up. Fifty yards aren't too fuckin place, I'm sick of it that stupid fuck in private. Defends the fact that you can't touch the fuckin receivers they're, making every quarter back out there. Look like the John L way. Look like they fuckin. Joe Montera, these fuckin guys lotta padded stats go on there. That's all upset. I'm sick of this fucker wide receivers, get treated like these goddamn diva whores obviate one right. I don't think that we should go. To the Jack Tatum ERA, where he would just soccer punch guys and would even play the fuckin ball ever watch

guys highlights fucker ridiculous quarterbacks ever the fucker. Why receivers got his head? around looking at the ball, and he would just come in the head when they weren't looking kind of like that. Do shoot punch that big white boy They are the on the college. Basketball court totals fuckin, Sucker punch Whose fault was that I say it's. The big white boys. The first thing you gotta understand is when you are involved they are one of those West side story beat it very oh deals in real life when fuck and ten site, goes meet with ten other cycles. The punch is never went from whoever you look at it in the Ok, history of my jobs me. I bet. If you went back to the revolutionary war that poor black do the first Wanna get shot. Do you think the few

look at the person who shot. Of course he was. I was a bridge gathers over night. You you, what the? U with the TED over here somebody else autumn in the Fuckin gut, saw works. You know in the words of what's his face from the old chap, I warned sap the words worn, Sap keep your head on a swivel. You move it up when he knocked at due to enact a fuckin guy out total fuck and cheap shot. You just keep going. Errors web keep at all is well. He was right. Let's say what he did was a piece of shit

oh, but you wasn't illegal. What the fuck am I talking about getting laid out of so fuckin congested. That's it! I think, too, that every comes up to such. Given your pills, when you secular you walk around like Jim Morrison in nineteen, sixty eight people, any acid in saving, try this skill work right, Falcon Altesse, Seltzer called medicine. I just know it's I'll kick in the shit out of my liver, even get a color of dick will. How in God's name that medicine like how the fuck is that good for you, but I forget what you'll live liver does, but its basic. It's basically responsible. Your liver is like that ten city in Scarface,

you know just underneath the overpass all these fuckin scumbags zero. Nobody or you take those fucking pills, that's where it goes through Esther process. It I walk my fuckin children rights, yet that's your liver! little picture Jimmy Carter right over your over its shoulder. I just try to tough it up. That's what I do. I go old school. I get Kleenex I drink a little bit of tea and I try to stay away. From all advocate horse shit, unless I have shows five shows a drug myself up like Elvis like hell

Since eighteen, seventy six August Meyer come out. I ate shit and three days give us more. Do you know what they did? The autopsy on him? A giant capsule came out of his asked. You realize that still intact, so real, I you know what I'm talking about this week. Everybody this. Actually come up covered up this week? People the red, headed fuck, face torture continues. I am going to Tempi Arizona it up and Playing at the brought out their Friday it's Saturday and I'm hanging around. As a who, I lost money all is for the fucking they played they play the browser.

They play the bright. Why is everything a song to me this week now, as I get around for the beach voice, United Song parities of gold super hack with you guys, hang on a second while I drink some organic, throw Coty how gaiters drinks out? I would say that this was a few things in my writer. Is water and organic throw Coty? This stuff is the shit, but there are certain things that are just. You should just have a gay guy. Steppin read as you go to order it, you know like in the most flim buoyantly stereotypical gig, I ever ye be like S bill. Can we get anything will show you. I just need some water and salmon that some steps and gig organic threat go to write, like what I used to live in New York and I used to get that fuckin nod tasty treat down the street cocoanut dream bars where it was called, and I just couldn't get

self to say that we are going to get one of those cocoanut takes in the eurozone. We, like you, mean that Could I dream bar yes, I do exactly what I mean. What do you like this day, heated up and shove it in your ass now I'll take it ever. Temperature? Thank you Here we go. Let's Let's get going here, I will bring this back douche bag of the week. This guy says I've been a long time. Listen I've been to your life Few stand up shows in Seattle Rights right there once again, establishing credibility. Ok, he's a fan! Ball! at work, and I support you. You know come out right all right off the bat he set this thing up like I have something that I can take away from you. You know I could take my eight dollars off the table

They are freckled face anyway, says: can you do us all a favour ass? Now we speaking for the group in key It's all the dilemmas segment. These are both not funny and really stupid. My delight, but for you would you rather listen to billboards dilemma the Lamb? or realize you have lost your comedic talent cause you allowed idiots to take over your show it's gonna, which would you rather list the billboards, dilemma or realize you ve lost your comedic Talcott Jesus Christ, it first of all You won't you. This is why your douche bag, the week that cause you don't like dilemmas, is because you did that classic thing. People do when they write a complaint letter. Is you act as though yeah you're sitting in a room with eight hundred other fuckin people in there go and Hague douche bag right for us, because we don't know how to this is the only complaint I got about dilemmas rights.

I don't know who the fuck you speak for a? U trapped in a mine shaft with some fuckin. Why, Was internet is that what you don't go, fuck yourself body in honour of you, it's time for the labourers. Dilemmas right. I really would read these fuckers yet, but that's what makes this segment so annoyed to this guy. So I will try to be extra on funny during this second Lily blow Minos. Will they Bishop Low Minister in the middle of it, to make it even more annoying because God, what would I do without his douche bag? Listen to my party has a fuckin D. Really somebody podcast are out there. Why don't you go, listen allows? What's it be so fuckin unhappy with this one right? I don't know your cabinet. My shows a righteous cut you and your eight huh.

Invisible friends could go. Fuck yourself, worrying about tat, hang out a second and another thing: we're up to three clear access by the way, our king dilemmas, for We go to the bathroom like a cat number. One and number two in Addresser Drawers ice cat blocks and have a butler empty at every day or go to bathroom like a dog outside in the bushes and have a book follow you around to pick it up and tell you that you're, a good boy outlets, no fights, no fire. That second one I do it outside squat right down the fuckin bushes. Shit and inside my house. That's why I hate cats, aside from the fact that they act like stuck up, consider club Euro, who never die, compost, anything other than looking good in life. You know they only come around when they fuckin needs something.

The only reason why the like cats, who say shit the Fuckin house, then I gotta pick it up. I don't like that did not happy when I come home. Did you know, there's no give and take it all is when you have a cat, your basically Robert Deniro character and casino. That's what you are Yet I would your cat is shared stowed she's, fuckin she's, just there for the amenities, you're fucking can't go, oh dear God, Damn red roof in all right so yet I would definitely outside who does like being told there a good boy. I get praise. Was last time. Anybody out there get praise after they took a dump, would be awesome. You know I don't like plough here was that on forty sir, did you not like that one? Was that not up to your comedy standards, feel the rest of this part cast was funnier than that. What I blew my

those before I went off on Jesus, I watched his plump number two. Would you rather merry stripper are? Have your daughter become one I'd rather merry. What. I'd rather marry one. You know if I daughter becomes one, that's just complete failure as a parent and in fact that's what I think all those videos should be called that you see it when you see on Youtube, but you got those girls doing those booty dances You know the goddamn shorts up there. S like it's always like someone so booty dancing what it should be called. Is What's so complete failure as a pair results of a complete failure. As apparent apps, movie, I would rather that's not fair to the kid.

I would marry a stripper and you know I was just. I would just have fun with a stripper. I would just do whatever I could do, don't fuck her. If she had one leg pointed west and one like ported EAST, you know, or north and south. If she standing drinking coffee Euro do like will also ballot moves. I just bagger like TAT and then Yathrib kid airbag listen. This is the secret of life. Sweetheart! Don't do anything that your mother did. What you just become a stripper is that, like a reality, show that they haven't come up with yet daughters of strippers like what's her face, I think it's going to be all right. Cuz their mother is such a fuck up that I think I probably just text her, probably just take stuff

number three choose between attack by a bear or a lie and on land and between attack by a shark or crocodile, the water, no fucking contest dude. I would take a barren, fair or align. That's a quick death as a quick one that bear comes up with a biotech, bitch slap, that's it. If I can break neck, you see lying, kill something. That's it. Like and it that's going after, like major pray in it just crushes you fuckin, windpipe, you're out Secondly, jovial the footage of what's his face. Like the gay, and tamer out there, though Oh look like what Face from night at the Roxbury TAT Jesus Christ is caused by what the fuck is a guy's name. There come on what what's the neighbour that that guy could TED that won the gay Chris. Tat you have to see what the fuck that land grab that do, and it was over in two seconds.

He just went limp? I take that in the second, as opposed to a fuckin shark. You sit not their sharp comes up. First thing it does. Is it bites? I d like to see if your edible right just takes a nice chunk out of I just do it some sort of wide testing with your fuckin five meat eater us kills me is the fact you can't fucking see it. You know your heads above the water and all the evil was just below it. You sit there and I think that you had still you got that Caveman DNA there were, there would just be going

off that there was something in the area despite the fact that you couldn't see it you'd be trying to lift you fuckin legs up? I think I think the real dilemma here is is between shark, our crocodile, as I would have to go, I would have to go shark. I just feel like there it's a cleaner death. You know they get those ginsu knives teeth. They just call me like a tiger shark is just fuckin over. You know just a perfect fuckin killing machine as they said and jobs. But like gab, alligator, crocodiles those fucking things, those like those guys who art tell talented enough to be the ETA fell, the original, so they just go out there they try to blow. Guys knees, Europe, alligators crooked. Like the bill, Robin Thou of fuckin predators? You know just that thing were they grab onto you.

You know what I like about sharks it would. You could just bite your leg of a fuckin alligator. They always seem to grab it. Then they go into that role. They just so slowly. Twisted off. You know, like you, some cook, chicken that try to take the leg is get fuckin morbid. That's what I would choose what else we got here Have a beautiful lady whose stinks smelly breath smelly. Ass pussy pits, hair the works, all sticking or ugly fat bitch, who smells great I go with the ugly fat girl smells great. Absolutely. As I could I could lover where the other world, who just so Like shit but was beautiful, was probably carried herself like a beautiful lady would annoy me afterwards I probably killer, why did you kill occurs a fuckin, pussy

and she walked around like she- was yourself thereby being charged with very thick I am. I want a lawyer, go fuck yourself, while Mr Byrne, you really just hardy incriminated yourself out of here, you know the prison will not smell as bad as or ass. I was any worse to fuckin cold t here we go. Chip first lie backer built. My friends and I frequently get an argument over whether a worlds a worlds man, competitor or ETA, fell. Lineman could handle a chip in a fight. I know chimps can rip faces, often are ten times the strength of a normal man, but a normal man is a tub of shit. I bet a lie back a good rip. Some faces off to what do you think

He had no contest the chip with fuck the dude up. Do chips, don't fight us going opposite fairly chips, though fight like people, I've gotta, you know you're a cover about touch, gloves: they're, gonna fuck. It's our he's got a great jab watch out for its right. You know that fuckin thing is just gonna jump on you. The retailer tied the monkey stole my hotel keys? I was in Costa Rica FUCK was I doubted Costa Rica way out the Bush Euro Army against? cover my fucking little cabana, that type of shit. So they had this pet monkey there of a monkey. I fuck it eight monkeys. I never had a problem with chips banana. They re people's faces, often nuts and their feet off. I have a problem.

I like a really is, and I go rang attacks rang a tense Arthur was Tang. Tia jabers ring a tat. I like those once they seem like they ve seen it all. They got that vibe Nicky just sit down a teacher about life, but those little monkey motherfuckers. I can't stand right so for some dumb reason, chasm white I have to walk up to an aid is a fuckin wild animal. Let me put myself in danger and they walk up to this thing in a fuckin jumps on me. You know what its wheels leave, member that that that video was shocked the monkey pop up, but there was a little monkey that there was one of those monkeys or the faces of death where they were fuckin bag that monkeys head till it died and aid is braids, but without the world's monkeys right, this fucker think jobs. Be it with a half a second it turn itself upside down was hanging by its tail. From my neck reach did my pockets grab my keys in red back up a fuckin tree.

This all happened like within? Like one point, eight seconds of my body reactions like what way what were off fuck, so around the robe jumping up off a shit you gotta try to come out where it Bob and it it just gonna fuckin land on your face and that's gonna, be it figure out where it is and it just gonna fuckin land on your face and that's gonna, be it is gonna. Tell your face off twist. Your foot often ripples offered. No linebacker stands a fuckin cheats. Unless you know what what if they had on the equipment, even though they tell your fingers off.

This is the amazing thing about how human beings survived as everything out there's as far as I can tell it is faster than us, for the most part is stronger than us, faster and stronger, but for the simple fact that we were smarter, we were able to do all the horrific thinks that we ve done with this nature. With this nature, with this planet ever think about that shit, football players beat the fuck out of the nerves all through great school in high school, though what happens from the real deal goes down the end of the day, those nerds become bankers and those football players get enslaved, and there you sit in your house like a cage damnable, let the fuckin zoo it where's that banker, you really know what the fuck he looks like all those facebook cuts that guy, Deb, Steve Jobs where most overrated human beings on the fucking planet. They went in the yet intelligent wits.

What the rise would you go see? I really stone this week there, like the hundred greatest first of all time. You know they got it. Like shit like that, like every three weeks now, because nobody, nobody buys magazines anymore, so there we have to do like those, you know, tops sexiest tambourine player, of nineteen. Eighty six. They dollars cartels because always causes arguments. But they had I yeah in article in their own or do they come? It's basically streamline gifted kids in how there is really no programs out there for the extremely gifted dislike one school in the country that actually caters to them at like a great school level. You know- and I

In its carbon view that skipping grades and all that is bad for the kids socially another realising its the complete opposite, these kids get fucking depressed because they go to school and everybody so much fuckin dumber than they are. You know in their quest for knowledge, fills their heart. The way you know you like pussy. It would talking about this one kid. By the time he was four years old, hope, like three different languages, he had gone through the entire periodic table. It was really into rocks and minerals We goes out with all these regular moron kids, who we're gonna basically end up working at a Buffalo wild wings. Someday thereof. Throwing rocks and stuff with this kid's trying to tell them about the crystals that are in the rocks, and now they were formed, everybody was like yours still put a wire nowhere.

They like throwing rocks now just think you'd like He cared how we can't even fuckin relate to anybody, his old age and they get depressed and they don't wanna, be smart it after wildly go comatose and if they stated arm too long, they can't even told that a menial job in life, it's fucking unreal, the entire I was reading the article just sedated laughing my ass off at imagining this kid being that fuckin, smart, I mean, bad enough as a comedian. Today, Third, show Saturday night form of budget goddamn drugs. You know they be the gap in intelligence they're. Just for the simple fact that I'm sober is unbelievably annoying at its full, odd fuckin torture. For an hour this kid S the live at every day, six hours at school and the gap between him and those kids. Every that fucking

It could even have a conversation with me. Without getting bored just sit, there is fuckin cables when always go. They treat us like poppies course take a taste of fuckin class. I definitely recommend reading it. It was funny this kid, his parents, just what they did was they just apply them having taken it, he applied for college. If you tested off the charts and they accepted them, and then they said, oh by the way he's only like using eleven now and they let a man- and this is the funny thing one of the schools he went to was Arapahoe Community College in Colorado and die. I performed it that school, if you guys listen to me, tells tell stories about some of the worst gigs ever had. I always bring up a rap. How community college as a reference, because I didn't neuter at that school in an area with three three hallways met.

A neuter is basically doing the show at like twelve noon or one in the afternoon. It's fucking nightmare. All right, kids have no ideas as a show. Most of the time the show is held in like the cafeteria. You know that I regard we all see the level of fucking humiliation that you have to go through to even get to where the fuck I'm at ever use a goddamn god, let a fucking! That's what it is. It just one impossible, humiliating fuckin. Scenario after another and then every once in a while. This, like that, you know like when Colombia saw branch floating in the water, see news gettin a lead you to have a couple, a good shows so anyways, I'm fuckin

standing there three in this area with three hallways meat. They start to show in between classes. It's me and like six kids sitting there and one of the people is like the personal book the fuckin show and I'm twenty minutes into my act. Standing next to this popcorn machine, just bombing just bombing and all the sun. This fuckin bell goes off for what the fuck happened at all the classes, let out and all within two seconds was like a flash floods of like people. All of a sudden, all a hop quarters were filled with people in there. Just walking by looking at me with, like this combination of like confusion in pity, and then they just started. Fuckin heckling me and all I could do was shut on the school for putting me in that, situation. That is whether the person booking the gig, everything that I would say she just be go. That's not true.

That is the true that is a great school and she was mad at me in the end- and I was so fuckin furious, get myself taken the gig and in her going like how did you think that this was gonna fuckin work? You know the ever stand up on television first of all, is that during the middle of the day, is a purse standing at a fuckin hallway Europe. Europe fought that goddamn creative genius. If he so far smart! You get your better goddamn school that a rap a whole community college. You not fuck that issue. Sorry, but you said a Fuckin anger flashback how to get how to get the girl advice. Advice dear bill. Has it Twenty one years old, I work with this girl who I would really like to go out with the girls

twenty nine years old, with a five year old, what the fuck I'm twenty one years old I work with the girl vowed, relate to go out with You should just fuck her. I didn't need to read the rest of the two hundred and twenty nine or any other five year olds. The fuck is wrong with you. You know what I mean. You're twenty one years old you drafted in the first round in your mediately, go into the fourth route, with somebody. You know it's got a five year old kid. That's like drafted a fuckin running backward, blew out his knee, throw with you Are we actually rights? I know after it. Ok, so vetoes right. Because I can't help it though we flirt all I've at work at seem to really connect. Everyone, jokes were good.

We are going out and whatever confronted with the possible but the possibility from some one, this chick she says nothing and laughs, but in a good way. So about two weeks ago, I eventually got the balls up to ask her to go, do something, but I think I would have bought it the wrong way. I switch the conversation over to sex. Your instincts are great, sir, but your twenty one so you've had a fumble in through this is all right. He goes. I asked her a hypothetical question which a response was something like I would go over to your house, it beat you up, to which I said. Why do you have to beat me up? We could do other things, Jesus Christ, it would you butthead, we could do other things are terrible presence. She go, she got the just and the conversation went on for that went on like for another ten minutes getting nowhere. So just simply flirting about a week later, with MIKE

but its high? I asked her out and she said something like so. What are we going out, though, So where do we go about sorry guys? I'm fucking something up, let's regroup here. So it was. Everything goes greater fuck! A week later I got two I got so what are we going up? She seems hesitate and she says I don't know where would we oh see right now you you already fucked up. This is how you fucked up right. All you want to do is factors ok, rather than come out and say it it, you dared still rounded. You know you just gotta come out and say you just and what you fuck it attaches arm at sailors. Oh, oh fuck, you you, don't you know you ve! You got yourself halfway in two

You basically told her hey. I want to take you out to a movie and make you feel like. I really like you that I'm gonna fuckin bang you and never call you again. You basically said that tour So now she sits there she's grilling you. Where we gotta go, you will like. I don't know we could go somewhere, they eat, you could come over, My house, we could do anything you choose say: this is the thing you you don't have any tax. You went from you go out somewhere, they eat this should happen something else that should have been something else. Then maybe you say your house, you know, go from some ego, my house, you know you basically urine leather face mode here, you just would fly. You operate a panel door, coveted just fuckin dragon or in the back. He can't be like that. Rights away. When I just finished his pocketing get was question I can never get a straight answer so for the past week, when I see her, I say

So what do you want to go? She replies every time. I don't know. It's really bobbin me out now, she seems to be less friendly. Every time I see are yet do cause. You keep fuckin time in the noose around your neck, so this I could say to her that could get me straight. A straight answer. Eighty, I could possibly due to just know where I stand with this girl. I would mean a very experienced girls and I dont know how to really go about. This. Is that great sea admit that after I sit dared fuck trash while you still listening, I haven't beaten. You doubt creatively here: I think your movies is you just stop asking just stop asking her continue to be really fucked friendly, and then you now wait for the Christmas Party and try to bagger, then I don't know. This is what I would tell you just keep doing what you don't keep putting out their intervention,

through trial and error. You gotta figure out what to do all right. I don't know if you got the skills at this point to bring this one into the boat. I think its authority it's off the hook gets gone. I think he caught a herd of Felix I think she actually liked you liked you and she thought you felt the fucking same basically, because you flirted too long and you got to know each other. So then you know cuz women are more developed emotionally when it comes to that she actually went down more of a day. I think I have feelings for this guy and run. Has she started giving into that? You know: she's. Twenty nine she's got a kid baby, you're going to be the knight in shining armor.

To get around that fuckin single mothers shit you hit her with the euro. We could get a tray of macaroni hang out. My bad rob outright. Does she's like another guy, just trying to beg me. That's how I ended up with the five year old Sea gotta standard she's, already she's already done this Euro five results was twenty four. She probably Baghdad, Matthew, Mokanna Haiti character from days and confused. He fucking knocked her up and took her took off politely factor life, so she's a little God shy, but the end of the day she is a human being there they do need effectually that type thing women are down for just fuckin. If you presented, the proper way which you haven't that'll thick in this one. You get what you got who is yeah, I woods, don't whatever you do, don't

stop talking to a just, be nice doorway as ago a blah blah blah just don't fuck it ask her out again and see if she makes a fuckin move if she makes above. Jesus is like this. How far down the shit hole you are? This is like trying to sniff the right wire without have the thing the device blow up in your face. Ok, let's let's play the scenario so that she comes to you'll, be ok. I thought we were gonna, go out, you'd ever ass, very more then! The girl I've gotta go via like I kind of turgenev whatever you know that, Do we get out you right? You're right, look, you're, two different situations.

I've. Just twenty one. I was just looking to have subsided. I realise that you know I should have done their blah blah blah and maybe then she give you take well. I could have so far and that maybe you could go that route it off. I don't think your best bet is to try to get drunk at the Christmas out of. Why would you listen to me anyway? Slits plough had here. Yeah do let it go lack of just run out before you go to work, see just fuck it totally jail. Just have the chill discover their Fuckin James Bond enough, just totally relax Ella love whatever They will plenty of fish in the state you plenty of fish in the sea, okay, but the meantime to what the fuck. I lost all point of this shit. Twenty one she's, twenty nine who gives a fuck. You know Jesus

I see you it's! Actually you try to land at twenty nine year. Old is really gonna help you with fuckin women, your own age does not nearly gonna be, is fuckin difficult, and I could tell you this. This is the best advice levy. Give you win if their drug in they drink and red wine do not kiss them. There's nothing worse than fuckin merla breath aright your home page is fuckin bender over which he goes to kiss. You just grab a handful of a here. You know, pull it. You just hold a letter, feel your power, but not be intimidated by Europe, should feel safe and be fuck. It turned out all at the same time turn that bitch. You'd better over you wash your face, rightly of forming grill and you have at it. But no it's no circumstances. You know when their teeth either. What did LE makes your teeth? Look like when you drink and red wine is just as fucking, terrific speaking of which, speaking of which,

The the Fuckin Youtube video, the weak, I've gotta. Warn you guys, because it's the holiday season, do we obey? Do it's gaily Bob dig it up. You dare to lessen the fuckin. This video is absolutely disguise Think this video a weird way, if was to be sold it of videos. Which really don't exist anymore. It would be in the two girls one cup section right now, it's nearly as lewd is and did over the top. This disgusting is that video, but it is every bit as gross it's two virgins kissing for the first time.

They're both the twenties, thereat a wedding and they go in for the kiss, and I cannot fucking explain what it is that they're doing for sore. I really hate watch people hard core kiss. I hated and awakening movies. I don't like it and Porthos Porthos our movies bill, you don't. I beat mainstream movies ETA like it and Porthos. I don't like going to walk down the street. I think it is fucking disgusting to watch two people good. Looking are not good. Looking to fuckin have at it. It's fuckin grouse, Gimme, some quick little smooch, that's it! But you sit there with you fuck, it tongues doubt jabbed out each other's throats. It's the most fuckin repulsive thing you could possibly do. Sorry, I don't know so you compare you compile that with the fact that these are two virgins. It basically watching them, go out it give about Europe

the alien never won its little mouth would come out of its big mouth. Just imagine two aliens kissing with that little mouth that look like they look like they were eating, each other's faces. It's fucking did the whole thing is fucking disgusting and the fact that there are in love so their passionately kissing in this horrific way and totally fucked repressed and just the whole fuckin thing an effective. They got. Harry there's another whether just fuckin freaked out supposed disgusting video I've ever see sub warning. You said: please do not complain to me. It's not my fault. I did make the video. I have warned you good luck, all right, let's fuckin ploughing.

Loveless in Alaska, Loveless Unalaska. That sounds like a rip off the Varlet topics. Movie love podcasting need some advice on the thirty thirty three thirty three euro guy who lives in fair banks, Alaska. I did a gig up that way. Chilcoot Charlie's we back in the day it was in Juno, Arab anyways Alaska need your take on what the fuck I should do when it comes to big. Here I moved up here with my girlfriend of four years. I had hit pause dude I get a fuckin clear out the fuckin lights. You can listen to this whole, not our item back. Sorry. What the fuck I should do appear in fair banks. Alaska moved up here with my girl of four years and got dumped about six months ago. Yet she saw that dick up there I have, they have to fly women end up their dupe alive, like solely because I've been appears solo,

the dirty dozen that's Those guys hang in there that one night they bring in all those fuckin whores. That's what Alaska like so it was I ve been up here. Solo, the bitch peace doubt in a third? convince our made single. If I continue to run, reside in this Shithole planet, hearth, Sub, arctic wasteland of horribly ugly, chicks, the guy. Girl ratio in fair bags, which, with the military base, is about one point: five Thrace. Seven million to one year You think I am a wider pussy, but now by now and our thinking She just move the hell on earth that's what I was taken. The problem is my job firefighter paramedics. It absolutely love my job, but what I leave

the guy's at the station to go home, I feel like Luke Skywalker all stranded in the blizzard. I don't even have a Todd Todd to hack apart, but fuck. If it's not right at me. I don't drink and hate bars, it fuck the websites. What do I do bill wages? basically wild yourself off, so I can buy back down to the lower forty eight. That's the states down here, for you, people their bid to Alaska. That's what they call us down here, the lower forty eight. It pick up a gig like What I have here, please hit me with some advice, love the show and hope you come back to Alaska some time off to you, gotta get out there. You can you have to go to the bars I would be on Facebook. Euro trotted fuckin fly in some bitch from the? U cod territory suit. You gotta work extra hard for this.

I don't know what to tell you cause you base. This might by vice was obviously will. What are you get out of there They have fires at every other state. They have plenty of fires down here. You know, there's a bunch of gorgeous women out here, LOS Angeles, just waiting for you know how much they would love you. If you came out here as a fire fighter, how much more fuckin interesting that is, if you fuckin went. It towards these Hollywood, buys it everybody, there's an actor director producer comedian apple. She come your fire fighter, you're actually unbelievably interesting, like holy shit, a real person with a real job as opposed to us with our fuckin, fully jobs. I think you do. I write down So what I would do, if I was you, I hit the bars, I hit the fan, Edna Social Networks, and I would Dont get my resonate together and I would send it out to all forty eight states. What did you fuck it just.

We turned the tables and submit it to Hawaii. Why did you go live down there back one of those guys fuck, you Honolulu, chicks, oh by the way, I did a gig Bray this weekend. And I believe it was the first show Saturday night there was a check in the front fuckin role

I thought she had on booty short. Somebody told me in the end that it was actually a really short skirt and she had on these fuckin. You know those riding boots. Psyche just stepped off a fuckin pony that these girls aware nowadays she had those fuckin exhort. She was basically wherein the pretty woman outfit Jed, these unbelievably fuckin, perfect, thickness TED Fuckin size right in the front row and she's with a guy. Ok, I'm sit there. My had gone one of fuck with this guy. Let us draw dress like that. Set the front row doesn't know. I won't be trying to look up her skirt and it's gonna. Fuck my show up only a guy. What the fuck am I supposed to do that the amount of energy I had to use during that show. My dick is just talk to me. The whole show. Maybe this is one of these weird guys that what should go

work is girl yeah. Maybe that's what it is blah blah. They told a couple off. Color jokes and I saw TAT she was a good girl, but she was dressed like a horde like this girl's, a fuckin chap goddamned thoroughbred, Are you what the pocket point of that story was, but it was absolute. Torture cannot sit there and fuck. Look at her and you know something I was sitting there go. What do I do I said, oh, do not address it and that I mainly started thinking about Patrice my great friend who passed away. I was gonna fuck man, he wouldn't he could it don't fuck an hour on the shit and die No, what I actually kind of stubble in this up that I wasn't sure if I was gonna, bring it up if I could but yeah great friend, Patrice O Neill passed away when we're all absolutely fuckin devastated, not to get emotional here, but he has a young,

yes, a dvd called elephant in the room makes a great Christmas gift and really help out his mom. He also has a new city out on Itunes called Mr P. If you guys could do me a huge favor, Do you want to repay me for the podcast on any level? Could you please by that man's work, I gotta tell you that guy no joke is the funniest fuckin dude. I ever met my life and it's not even close, it's not even close, and you can't even that dude was so. Body like even his stand up work only just captures like a sliver of how fuckin forty that guy was that guy, I'm telling you

like him, walk in and to a daily to buy a newspaper was funnier than most comedians. I ever met, and it's just that it's just fucking awful up still in shock that he's he's not here anymore, and I don't know when the time right I'll be tell some some of his stories because of their I'm telling. I can tell you this, there's not going to be another one and that's the thing that probably hurts the most is that is no fuckin way. I'm ever gonna meet someone like that. Again in my life, I write out Jack no crying on the plot. Yes, there we got ploughing ahead, so if you guys could fuck and do that for me. I would really appreciate it s. The so Eric push it down bill push it. Youtube videos of the week. We got.

Now we got a great when the thanksgiving, thereby really gonna, do Youtube videos. To that, whatever will have em up and fuck em and podcast. That's the podcast! For this week the M p M m podcast dot com. Please visit that we have a donation but in all that, but I fuck all of that just by Patrice meals, work share it with us people cause people really should know what a genius That guy was one of a kind and I'm gonna miss them right that support. Yes, I'll talk to gas next week.