Hey, what's goin on its bill bar in its the Monday morning, podcast for Monday December, twenty fourth, two thousand and twelve. And, as you can see the way I stress December, twenty. Fourth, that I am, I am I'm letting you go. I know that I realise that it's Christmas Eve, ok, I realise that. Therefore this has to be very special podcast, which it won't be, I'm just letting you know that. I know that you. Feel that it should be special June. I had some sort of Christmas special Goin on here. Singing summer holiday, tunes. Have all we jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year.

Everybody is pretty cool, except for their do she sister married em, there's always one right. There's always gonna be that one fuckin guy everybody's avenue a good time and in this one can't has to come in moping around you know, who is it the chip with this? substance, abuse problem. The moody guy I'd, rather that the substance abuse checker round than the moody guy? who d guys the worst. He comes in right, like the fuckin antithesis of mistletoe, yellow He should have mistletoe on his shoes, pointed the other direction like some sort of devil reference. You said a hanging from the Heavens is coming up on the fucking right kiss my fucking feed everybody

Does you're gonna have to deal with me and my mood because I'm not just gonna have the decency to be misery miserable over in the corner. I'm gonna fuckin sit down right in front of everybody in just sit there. Sulky euro and they'll be a couple of fuckin hard core people. Who was? NL just roll their eyes, but there is always the one douche. The one check who is a member of the forage club or whatever the hell is that she does big sales helps out with the church car wash whatever the fuck. Does, but you know she has to do with manner. What's the matter, you look tat. Oh my god. You she sees pockets. And every year watched the language around the mistletoe, Derek, don't fucking. Do this doubt every fucking year.

I don't care if the kids are getting ready? Why they're gonna hear right anyway Arright every year, this dual comes in looking like fucking, droopy dog and I'm sick of it? It's not my fault, his lights out of their daily. What's a wave of course he's leaving you leave and believe all where you gonna go, kill yourself in a fuckin rest area. Right is one of those deals every year. Is that There is always the dew issuers to try and top everybody stories. You know you could be sit near what the fuck can astronaut sum up, try to top or correct them Well, actually, I thought, according to it, went I on a limb, some fuckin astronaut video game induce played he'd, actually try to question. Lastly, even knows an astronaut this point out, they all dead.

Did. The people were on the space shuttle where they considered astronauts, because I d, I didn't consider them astronaut United Astronaut, if you're in a plane. Ok, I know it's a big one. I know it's got. Rockets on it. Initially, aright. But all I know is that the astronauts, I grew up on with what fuckin they were at the top of a missile. That's what data you in steer that fuckin thing I've got back. There look capsule legion, On the one side you kept rolling back towards the earth, hoping you re enter right and parachutes came out and they couldn't fuckin fine, because all we have was binoculars. You know, where is he I don't see you don't understand, not, may not not to starboard right you're fuckin sit near the war clinging to a sitting right,

You're lucky you landed on an island and then you marry Genie who called your man, sure, but for some reason you never factor but other than that. That's what an astronaut was flying, fuck and plain. You know we can spaghetti, owes whatever the fuck they did and then land get told to the gate by a fuckin Toyota Tundra. That's not an astronaut to me, that's a very impressive pilot, very impressed You want a lot higher than the jumbo jet. I flew to Syracusan hats off to you, sir. I just our journey matters in the car in the car. For guys great, you know what the hell saw me sing it. What the fuck

always hissing, some about I'd, say something in your heart tat though Bubu fuck. How does it go? Has it ever tab opportunity but deep pockets right there, something about the airport, the jingling Europe is a song in yard. I've got skis terminated. Many math is always picture that Christmas alimony sit there with his universe, skis and sweat around. You know I've fucked up. You know you think. If you're gonna bring up a fuckin, something you just hard, you could remember it. Wouldn't you Would you anyways all you guys have very merry Christmas. It is one day away, have you finished your shopping? I know the podcast his late, I know like you know what I actually recorded this morning and I was fucker with my dog on it any unplugged might device.

Some out all gonna raised. This is the second time of doing it. So I think because of that I think I am I'm pretty jolly right about now. Don't you still coffin mould? Any doctors, listen to this podcast. Do you know, that's that sad or not? That's impressive? Why would you listen to this part Castille need a break from thinking? Could you so fuckin smart? You went to college until you with thirty five. Then, are you fucking nine under granted dead, you looking up people's assholes, really that we should gain plan. You know if you wanted to fuck and nurse you you couldn't just had your girl, you know just pay nurses, outfit. What's the difference, the goods are all the same. Did you really need to go through? All of that, just you could walk around steadied. Somebody saying oh Mister, Johnson, the earth we like Doktor Johnson, like our doctors like.

When they go to a fuckin restaurant, they have to say you know table for they gotta, be you know, fuckin, you, no doctor, Marblehead working. You said you'd say for from Marblehead One pink marble had. I dont know why Petersen for four Peevishness get four for doktor. Polluters should now get over yourself. You fuck induce. So many of those the goddamn doctors do are not involved in life and death. Shit. I'm not saying they don't kill me. I guess well enough: they fuck up, they can kill somebody. The lot of you know they look at toes. They look Jack now your ears, you throw in that type of shit? You know that there, those who, like the jiffy, Lou doctors, you know that's all they don't change in a faculty or filter drain and out the oil put the bloodbath For the shit back in the top of the engine call me two days: that's all you don't

that's all you don't write those real guys that deal with the falcon the inside the persistence and all that shit? Those are the guys you know the computer, those are the real doctors do so next time you go out to a fuckin. Whatever the fuck, it's called crack a barrel to say your last name right, Doktor Petersen, fucking do show we get mugged. You know Those fuckin restaurants, it stand a comedian bar table for one, because I'm on the road in lonely, comedian bar table for one, and it was just watch any football. That argues

Talk about football, it's almost over carefully enough fuckin fast. The season goes by why So short, you know why cause it's a fucking man's game? That's why September October, November December. Anyone to playoffs off months baseball starts in April, so that's April, May Junior. You just be right now we would be in the dog data summer with baseball before it's fuckin. It's almost over. You know this time next month, when we sit near wait for the year. The probable which I'm going to buy the way be out there with like eight have another people in that state. It's it's fucking. Do you realize there's not much of a pussy game. Baseball is or was spent it positively, because it's Christmas Eve, it's the eve before Christmas,

This is how manly footballers baseball players. A healthy for the whole year you play is professional games as a football player plays in a ten year career. You know, and after a ten year career most football players they have damaged, Not walk away from, they got some sort of a limp, some sort of twitching there. I think, Voices in their head, their head, does fuck and turn anymore. They got something their knees blown out. They got something baseball players. What are they got her other than abroad? reflection, other city had never want to go to Europe, they got. Said Baltimore

the city was both NFL citys. We think we're fucked up, wait! There's this thirty two teams is more football teams in baseball. It doesn't work out. Does it what I've just I'm upset? Why is it? Why don't you just goes by sulphur confessed? Anyways I tell you something I can trace it right now. I think Peyton Manning has a good shot at times younger brother, with a ring this year. When you think about that, earlier this year in OZ. Like the giants of the Fuckin giants, you don't need to tell a Patriots Van about the giants are right. I kept waiting for them. Turn it on forty was freaking out November. Like do they do this every year they pace themselves, They start trying right around fuckin about a week before Thanksgiving and then they just gonna run and they just punch everybody

mouth Eli close his eyes, looked at the opposite end zone and throws the balanced sticks to somebody's helmet or fuckin drop. And not of the heavens in double coverage in expression on it. They never changes. You know he's like the man, syrian candidate of Fuckin, nfl players, never seen a quarterback is go to him as look is stupid, as he does, with a helmet on like you. I don't think I would look worse with the home tonight. You know you Someone who's, not athletic. Like myself, when we put on athletic equipment, it's just funny. We dont look cool. We look like idiots. It is good to see you. I guess he looks like a got. He looks like that, the last guy you would pick and Jim class anyway, that's just piss because he beat us every termagant, the Fuckin Superbowl but it was a giant throughout.

Now the forty nine is, I don't know what to think about them after that drugs. Last night in Seattle, and I was really room for the forerunners I've always liked the forty, Why that's not true and eighty one I didn't. I was a cowboys van but I just you know by the end of it I just the West Coast Offence Bill Walsh, all that shit. I just love them and you don T care drives me nuts. I can't stand that guy. I don't like that guy because he looks like the greatest guy you ever. He looks like he just rescued a cat out of a tree after rescue dog from a shelter after ah you know, I don't have saving somebody from drown. He just like the key, looks like a fucking delivering a moment. You know. Did you look anymore wholesome than that guy he to church every week and sings hymns? You know.

Only has sex missionary style, you not only does it for procreation. You don't owe me like. There's nothing fuckin wrong with the guy. Yet the way he left. Fucking. U s I'm John Calla Perry must have been like nice. That's the way, Don T! You see what I guess. That's that's! How it's done it's, how it's done you break every fortune, rule fuckin can you when she had been ships and right when you smell those motherfuckers come on you leave and you let the school deal with it right. That's what the fuck he did. Europe certainly is up there. Looking all wholesome the working. But losing to a p carotene or just whenever a p Carol team scores touchdown is are always gonna cut to that wholesome guy and you're gonna catch him reacting to the touch down, and what does he do? Does he make light

fuck and war face. Does he go fuck you, like Rex Ryan, Somethin manly? Now he goes genius package? It's about you expected like Regular, forgetting his back don't do that you're not expected. Somebody below How long were you do that really would skipped town of pocket file as it makes it even more annoying to those two somebody somebody's like fuckin growl and like a grizzly bear. It makes it losing a little more acceptable, but one that. Whether it would make a noise is you'd. Make a few are pushing you toddler on swing. It sides really degraded, so many ways Seattle, just in general, is just fuckin annoying the great goddamn city, but I don't like this stadium how they designed

so the fans than aren't that loud would sound louder. I don't like that and then they get all this credit right. There his bands and saw love now the architect was awesome. Anyways Now I'm looking for a Green Bay still fuckin in it, have no idea. Now. All of a sudden seems up for grabs up the last couple of years of look at the end of seagoing. This is completely lopsided. You know the three top teams The league are, in the end, have safe, so you're gonna be watching the Superbowl any enough see Ya Championship game at the very least and

see we're just gonna shop to get a fuckin asked here. That's just my my opinion. Ok and I stand by my criticism of my own team spoken differences. You saw we struggled with the goddamn jaguars right and I know you know Brady through a couple of pigs in that type of thing but bait, but that we made their quarterback river fuck that shared Henny, whatever they always name is. You know I made that guy look like John L way so anyways I got a feeling. I got a feeling paint Manning he's, gonna, fuckin, kids, these guys Shapes and I'm somehow rooting for the guy I'm trying to hold up my hatred of the guy, and I did I just don't- have it anymore? What's he left, the cold suggests is just not on colts. Anyway, I don't care and always an old guy, I'm an old guy. I do. I not routes.

An old guys, a fuckin old guy I can relate. I can relate to attain, were stupid password here, you guys know his has something happened yesterday during the Patriots game. That is watching news. This is how much the game has changed. Was well, the great was welcome, gonna, be in it. The very least will be in the New England Patriots Hall of Fame. Very he's. Gonna stay healthy. He needs a couple, Europe, a good programme, four thousand more yards and he's gonna, be the prophet Baja a faint right. So I love the guy. You know. Speedy white guy play wide receiver gives, which gives you know uncoordinated. Why do like me hope, gives us a role model in order me. So anyway, he catches a ball and they go

Wes Welcome just broke Jerry Rice's record in immediately my fuckin ears pricked up count. West welcome broke it Jerry Rice record. What record did break? He broke the record for the most games, ten or more catches in a game with his eightyth game of having ten or more catches- and I was like Wes, wealthier caught ten or more passes more in his career, then Jerry Rice. You know what I think I have to go to the polls pro football reference, dot com, the best football website out there by the way, stay away from me, spend the NFL when the two fuckin busy selling their channel in their league. This is just no bullshit trim the fuck in fact so Wes welcome. The record for the most games as a wide receiver catching ten or more passes. His career yards, eight thousand foreign

and eighty six, and he. Who played one two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine seasons. Seasons. He what Jerry Rice did in twenty seasons and Jerry Rice his career Four yards is twenty two thousand eight hundred and ninety five. I saw the games changed. These little fucking passes, which would have been handed back in the day these guys that they had no fucking stats. It's gotta be an asteroid. Next to that one is the average yards. Wes Walker has fifteen yards

his first year to ten point. Three ten point: five, ten point: five one point: oh nine point: nine! That's for the earth ass was his average per catch. Nine point: nine yards twelve point: nine eleven point: five, his Jerry Rice, her eye where the fuck are we a ten point. Nine. Eighteen point: three. Sixteen point, six, twenty point for eighteen point: one you get the point right: Back in the day they parking, they fled their pocket pigskin around a goddamn play away known as little here. You go Chirac row I throw Falcon nine yards. Access to my three year, broken West welcome. Has the goddamn record for that bull, shit. Focusing on your great hell, I'll catch, Buckshot nine yards away, any shit sort of save all these fuckers

records it gets broken out day. All a damn. Marinos records have fallen down, Marino stood no fuckin pocket. He threw the goddamn Paul in Sydney thrown these little bitch ass passes down. You know that It's gotta be stuck together. There has to be a new step. Ok gotta be a new step where a hand, jobs, a hand off. If you throw the falcon ball, it's gotta, it's it's gotta, be at least ten fuckin yards. How about that? We say that we create a new name for whatever the fuck. It is when a quarter backdrops back to pass. It throws a three yard pass to somebody. Does that thirty five times a game? Hey jazz grub black starts. Cared for above calculations in a row age through twenty six, She heard this. A road y gotta tell

you are right when you do so you get partner slave sorted, this bar. Star. I do love, you know you, because we sorted out, I'm just a crabbed old man. Don't listen to me. I'm just focusing its own Sangree Fucking Break Wes welcome did something in nine season. There took Jerry Rice, twenty ceases to do, and you gonna tell me there's something right about that They serve to write about that will maybe in your world, sir, it may be in your universe. Ma Am, but not my raving about that. Well, maybe I don't give a shit what you think about that you ever think about that is love. To think about that. I just do a commercial here,

Steps outcome, everybody what the holidays almost hear. Literally almost here, you don't have time to go to the post office. What do you mean, but the holidays almost hear Christmas Kwanzaa? What about how to get? You know? Have those come and gone already? I don't stick to the copier with the holidays almost hear granted a game in his three weeks ago. You don't have time to go to the post office traffic Parking obese people will be packed with everyone, mailing holiday gifts and packages. So so do what I do. Jesus is the worst red ever So do what I do. You stand star com instead because God knows on Tuesday to read out loud. So thank God. They came up with this wonderful system. What it stands now, you asked: what steps dot com you

avoid there all the hassle of going to the post office during the busy holiday season, everything you would do at the post office. You could do right from your desk by imprint official yours posted using your own computer and printer print postage for any letter or package. The instant you needed there. Male made picks it up, that's it, so it is so easy, so convenient. What else do you need. Doing everything but bringing you a sandwich. I used to have stuck, the sun on all my dvds for all my road gigs, I absolutely loved me- should get you try to actually gotta get new scale. I've used it so much. I broke it. Actually, I dropped something on the other day, so I got it. I gotta give new scale I'm special offer right now get the special offer when you use my last, they burn be. You are for no risk trial, plus a hundred and ten dollar bonus. That includes a digital scale that I just broke in up to fifty five dollars: free postage. They given you fifty five bucks during the holiday season color, but Morty one, don't wake gotta stamped our car before you do anything else: click on the micro

At the top of the whole page and type in Burma, be you are that stamps dot com enter birth. This moment the small but leave me alone so I am, I know what you think it will be next time you go to a restaurant rather than being in secure about the doktor, the dog. Party of four, why don't you fucking wattle up to him and asked them about? You knows it? Ok, to smoke a mouldy cigar once in your life. Evidently the guide the cigar told me said he said I be fine, you know. That's our guy goes to the doctor.

He talks to some guy. He doesn't know who isn't a doctor vaguely describes what he did and goes. You think I'd be a right near guy goes. We got a guy in a new girl, gets on you. Why don't you go to the doktor guys? I talk to that fuckin guy over the guy you're going out the trash sweetheart. You don't make fun, one guy does for eleven. Ok, an unwritten rule, written Roma! You look down on the ground as we walked back to the car. You don't say good night to nobody bothered grandchildren. Thank you. I voted the not having a fun part. Alright. What what went on in the world this week iron awesome week. I am dead, another episode of clay

not nudge, weak link and could not have had more fun. I will let you know when it comes out, and that was my last work for this year and I do and she'd baby. I don't anything a record of the park. Yes earlier today, like I said I was fuckin with my dog and during the pod CAS Ruslan Witherin stuff was funny it's hell, but got a little too rougher unplugged my thing here and now the record and I lost that part cast, and I am still I still think about it. Sometimes not so anyways, I d make a fuckin pie today, made an apple pie and die there's little collateral damage with the crust on top made from scratch pitches. Ok, I know I come off like a miserable when I'm cynical, but I like Johnny Math is Crystal music and I can make a pie from scratch. You know what are you doing today? I don't get all John Lennon on your hands

This is Christmas, and what have you done? I got it down the big fuckin thing about making up a pie crush. You can't be intimidated by the flowers. That's the thing I find it really. I was approaching it like a bitch every year ago who fuck it up this year was like fire give a fuck. I got a bag of flour. You know like a pip that has a whole stable hors d They're, like alright lady, you either make this bucket work all get another one in eight replace you, there was a thing, so I'm out the kitchen right and when you back, you know, aside from you, know, risking getting gave back your own kitchen, when you big, is a mail. You gotta, give you gotta put an apron out because your hands, you gonna, get all sticky so believe in it. I dont know in April, and the only eight

in the house is the one my mother got four NEA and I swear to God. It's like this floral platter pattern, frilly fuckin thing like if an old lady had it on you re, like all my God, that's the greatest grandmother ever so I got this fuckin thing on. You know needs in the Fuckin living room storm in the kitchen. I got the door closed and she knows I'm making a pine. She starts to smell the fairly and I do that food network shit where I dont measure the shit out as I is. As you know, as I'm making it you know, I have it. I measured the shit out. I put it all in these little fucking things, so I just bear bear them like I'm on a shelf put cream and then he had to sugar. We sat together now, look but his thought little nutmeg. Little sentiment, you know, Ban PAMELA, whole fuckin thing goes whatever hands get off,

sticks of Sydney right, an appeal in the apples in that type of ship. I gotta pick up one and fuckin. The apple falls in lands onto my little things that already have measured out and they Tipp over, the counter than the apple fuckin lands on the floor and rolls across the kitchen now nearly always gets on me for my temper flip cause intention and I realise that, ok, so when I leaped out rather than screaming, I sort of crouched down. And I just went ah something like that with this fuckin April. So near heard that You know she wasn't loud, but the intensity was fuckin ridiculous. So she comes burst. Again, to make sure I'm all right and she's like she's like

You will carry you like you're, the guy, I'm fine, and this is standing in that apron it might. When the hardest thing I ever heard or laugh. I know it look a little stupid but, like she almost Falcon passed out, she like laughed, I think for five it straight every time she started to stop. She started going again: Yogi somebody's laughing so hard. You start Laughin was one of those deals and absent trying to peel the apples, Laugh and so hard I got like volunteers in my eyes and I can't I can't see what I'm doing, but long story short story, Should I just remembered the shit last little nutmeg or whatever and my cooked it headlong collateral damage with them. I can do no other than the one on top, and I tell you it's nice to good lookin fuckin fly to the point on when I'm gonna posted attire As far as looks I give it a six, I give her six

I know once it has posted to the internet and all you miserable counts, who are unhappy with you. Lives rather be like be, like you know, that's not too bad. That's not to bear job. I know you guys are gets gonna fuckin. You know you're gonna terror to shreds You know what I say. I say, God bless you. I say happy holidays to you too. I am sorry that your life, I'm sorry it and get that fire engine under the Christmas tree and rather than looking at your parents, were your girlfriend. Whatever the fuck you gotta didn't get your fire engine, you can decide to take it out on me and my innocent little pie. I don't feel good about yourself what else? What else we gonna talk about? All I know a body minor. You know the one who is questioning my loyalty to the patriots, because I had the audacity to say that their different stinks actual. He called me after the Jaguar

game and said I I think I agree with you now and then he also on he left a message. He asked me if I saw the year there are a press conference, you know, or is he said, the dog you see the falconer. I press Crawford Pack, horses mould, gonna, be out of my system according to the guy, the cigar store I'll be fine. He sells me another god. What the hell are they talking about? Yes, we said to you gotta check out the sailor. I think goes its like and he said to me goes, and you know, may do I'm I'm in the middle, I know a million people who say I'm in the middle and they're, not the middle. I've said I'm in the middle and not in the middle. I leaned to the left with a nice fuckin upper cut a right. That's where I you know I am to the law.

When it comes to the work and mad when it comes to twinkled toes waiting. Do you know, people wanted to come to the country to the left. You know when it comes to other shit like taken response. Only for you. Fuck and actions are on the right now It is an ok you're, a douche go fuck yourself, go make it right or go sit net. Shell and better pay. You do, is you don't get it do over dollar pants, but mainly valium I would really angry. As liberals, you'll ever fuck me. Because it shows we do in yoga Sunday night. I miss, I missed something out another on the pamphlet or what I know what the fuck is, but this guy you I get up. I got bunch people that vertices another guy he's one of those guys the class, a guy who says he's in the middle. You feel you not! U leanness! Why you totally every fuckin,

issue, I bring up you mean this way and then they always say the same thing to the dumbest thing ever fuck, what you're registered as a classic. Thank you. You register independent and then argue on one side and then, when people just accuse you get here, you're fuckin, liberal Europe, conservative and they go I'm a registered independent. We didn't have to pass the test Euro. You just you just to find yourself as an independent. Same way, Madison Square Garden just gives itself the nickname, the world's most famous arena. You know well you just as the world's most there what is theirs, the world's most famous arena, a cookie cutter falcon, stadium, a stadium, their owners, that was made during the worst most uncreative time.

Of a the world's most fame. Arena. If you can tell me how bad thing looks more different, then the other stadium during that fuckin time, the God damn it I'll make you an apple pie, waiting about that. So many ways he goes are. Yes, all you people out there who think just because you're right you're a registered independent and then therefore you can just argue the same side of every fuckin argument, still the euro and then that's your parachute. I'm a registered independent by my best friends black. It also allows deals, did your little get out of jail. Fuckin book sure thing right: to tell you you not pull in anybody right, you're, fulla shit, but this guy. He actually I've known for twenty years- and I really don't know

He feels about anything, keeps the shit real close to the west and he always surprises me every time. I think I'm gonna go on this. He'll go. That way I mean not only might be contrary and I have no fucking idea might be arguing the opposite sides to fuck drive me nuts. Who is, he says, jacket disintegrating egos, No, I dont really feel one way or another about it, but are these guys they come off like it's a fucking cartoon like their solution. To watch the gun situation is more guns, that's what he tells me. So I sit down and I got a fucking watch. This shit get some material out of this right. Anna. I put it on and I watched didn't. I gotta admit. I thought the guy made a lot of good points. Get hate mail over this. I dont undermine our problem. If they ve been,

You know semi article, seven semi automatic, fucking, assault weapons. I don't What you need, one of those four you know if you use it to hunt you're fucking, cheating,. Like how bad assure you that you gotta, bang, Bang, Bang, Bang Bang, I got it, I got it, I got it got it. You know sort of a problem with that. Like I don't like the whole demonizing of people who own guns that you're just automatically evil it's stupid. We like demonizing me. I use a computer. So therefore You know I advocate sexual predators, who still your identity. You don't owe me a man I kind of thinking you're in the inner ray. You got you legally and I think I, but with no stats whatsoever fleetly over my head, no reason

No, nothing are willing to bet right. I'm a rang ply solemnly pies is weak debt. To ignite what ninety nine percent of the people who register a gun legally. First of all, probably never do anything most of them, We never do anything more then go down to the fucking, on range and shoot it then you go. A percentage that actually go out, negotiator, pheasant quail or an elk, or some bullshit like that right, but the amount that actually go out commit a fuckin crime or shoot somebody somewhere. I wouldn't you know the problem, not the fuckin problem is Is we don't have a way of weeding out sociopath. Cycles maniacs? There's no way to find him. That's what you need to do. If you could do that, you could somehow

fuckin, do that you wouldn't even need metal detectors at the airport. You wouldn't have anything like a gun in every fuckin out. No one's ever gonna go out deliberately do something. Somebody get again, though, obviously have an accident, but shit. Accidents in cars people put pools in their backyard as the people of Iraq and break their necks. Japanese people fall off ladders, shit fuck it up it. There's gotta be away. You know I was running shit, I was you know when you like on a fuckin tangent, you realize halfway through her dumb. You saw that was just a moment right. There was like if I was running shit, yet you listen. Could you laugh an area where go fuck yourself? Don't care and feel good? I made a pipe today and why have you

I was running shit. I would go to the people who came up with that black, like that may help you find Jason Quilp you know every like make one of those lights for cycles get out I would replace all the lights in the street lights. You know with that light, which would create jobs. You know what the surplus of that money we'd have health care. You stay with me on this Adobe, like this maniac light. If you're good. Shit. You have a soul. You have a fucking and you're, not a country. It would be as one particular color. Nobody would know about. This should be our top secret. It just be I'd, know about it, the guys who invented it, the millions. Who had unscrew the old like balls and put nine. I have to tell them. The storm at some new energy efficient thing,

This weed out all the cycles. Then I know all the liberals say there will either be a kilo movie killing you just Van is laugh. I will then I'll go classic rightwing. We take em, we stick a boner walking. I we will evolve, kill each other. Now would be something that would be stupid. That would be a dumb, fuck and liberal way of doing things. We can't kill me people, we can't illegally detained them because they haven't done anything yeah, a cat fat. And then you stick em on an island and then you create this. Can you dig it fuck an island euro. God help us when those can't get organised and I'll come back ashore right. There's not enough. Will Smith's

I'm cruises and fuckin one not gimme. Another action here, Chuck Norris is out there to stop that level. Evil ass. You think you gotta, let those fuckin people hold up sign, saying that the energy is killing children. It is just for small. They weaken that side of the argument, because a coming off like complete psychopaths You know how do I find the press really annoying to like they had already made up their minds like they were all over. Taking pictures of the people holding up the protesters thing In sum, when the press guys I'm assuming suppress, got who was bodies in the room, you know soon it's gotta be somebody from the press yells at the yen array guy, and he goes. What do you think about the protesters and

Or a guy doesn't say thing discontinued with his speech and then get the same guy in the crowd goes egos. He goes out of step with the script subdued. Are you if you still a reporter at that point? don't sound like one new jobs to go down there report what happened? I'm fine with what do you think about the protesters. Even then that was borderline because the guy was in the middle of his statement. But but that's ok because it did happen. But when the guide chooses no comment, that's what you report no comment. He goes The hapless stick with the script error, that's fucking idiot method. It did just I know that there is no fuckin solution. Until till you can come up with some as much as was making a joke about having a cycle street like that identifies maniacs.

Until you do that, I don't give a fuck. You know you still got big you're gonna be problems. Isn't there. Jesus Christ, what those fuckin maniacs door, the Middle east- don't even use guns. They got home deep. All they get a fuckin thing of fertilizer right. Whatever the fuck they do. They walk into a full court. Well themselves up there. What are you gonna do closed down the hardware store, a minimal May So this is Christmas. This cruise rule forty three minutes in pay. Everybody did you enjoy the podcast this year as much as I did well, I sure hope you did all the also playing video games blaming the here, which I don't know what to tell you. I find violent video games to be

stretching relieving. I also find going to a gun range in shooting a gun to be oddly calming the site. Sort of com I get when I make a fuckin apple pie. Writing a lady. I fight. I get the same level of enjoyment Because I'm not a cycle of a cat, I'm a dick, I'm a moron, but not alright. I'll stand you come up with that. Like a fuckin stated Are you gonna sees a bald spot in a beautiful soul ploughing ahead here by the way people? I guess I got a couple: a gigs coming up in twenty. Thirteen in January to be it will flapper comedy club, Burbank. California, absolutely love this club.

And I'm hoping to have a couple of up. Come in heavy hitters. Opening for me haven't reached out any by yet, but flap is in Burbank And that's gonna be on January. Tenth two shows report will give you the links and everything. If you go to the partners page on billboard, dot com and then on November, twenty two I'm gonna be out in Honolulu Hawaii. Hokey LAO Fuckin, what the fuck's any with a goddamned things had the worst see what why do? I went away taught myself into these. Damn cornish. Origin are organised bill. You know you don't have any sort of zero settlers dissolve vacuum. Things can be up my website where the fuck is it? Whatever just look, you do the work. Look a bit

burn, Fuckin, Hawaii and you'll see it it's January. Twenty six. I will. There and I'm going to the probable he will be able to miss me I'll, be mean fuck and eighty three other people in Hawaiians it's gonna be awesome, and then I met the Wilbur Theatre, Boston, Massachusetts by old, stopping grounds where I started Wilbur theatre. Crossing next comedy stop where I started March Second night ninety two on an open my night, long long, I'm a girl, I Wilbur Theatre February. Twenty first two shows and February twenty second one show enough the net. The only other thing I habits on sale right now is May thirty, in Baltimore Maryland. I met the merry Half symphony hall. Does that sound amazed?

You know loud, I'm gonna, be it's a symphony hall. I sound like a fuckin, see heartfelt tool that artificial help right back to the podcast here. So, let's interesting questions here. If you like to eat mail me, it's a fucking thing is built. The import, castor com will have that link up. There too, I haven't said something I forget what the fuck. It is more a sterile whatever you guys, I'm workin today are you, you know Let your home put not a sweater questions from New Zealand. So You know it's Grandma Museum, Rosetta Christmas party. Last night, I met some woman there and so they told England that you were right there with you and you Norman. When did they mix a men with their troops? Now you will see that all quite unaware.

Put them in Australia. They had to follow suit, so they told England there were right there with you and you know in England did did they mix a men with their troops? Now you will see that all quiet on western front that trench warfare, we had guessed mass, because using poisonous gas wasn't considered illegal in war, must for gas and all that shit hand to hand fighting shit in a fuckin hall with a worse conditions ever that's where they were sent all those people up there all from foot. New Zealand and Australia. Not one english man had the fucking balls to go there in the trenches releases. The way person from New Zealand explained to me, I'm out of exaggerated a little bit, but I'm also try to get some e mails here. Not one Englishman had the balls didn't have the fucking balls, they were all sit near with Winston Churchill holding hands. You know have been a biscuit.

Rob a shortlist of this ship. The total number of New Zealand troops enough is to serve overseas and nineteen fourteen nineteen? Eighteen was a hundred and four hundred thousand forward and forty four from a population of just over a million ten percent of them over ten percent, a roughly ten percent of the population for the war, forty two percent of the men of military He served sixteen thousand six hundred. Ninety seven newsy wondrous were killed course they were they celebrated affront and forty one thousand three seventeen or wounded during the war. A fifty eight percent casualty right. Yet this is the kind of sitting with does and then I go over there and they start giving me shit about George Bush. You know it's like why? Don't you fucking clear off your registered there even before you come when it make a came last himself from England, gave me shit about the foreign policy. I dislike pocket person them off because then they keep listen, The next time you play the lead to Square theatre, hopefully I'll, be there

Maybe they yelled some shit out. We have a good time, aright question from New Zealand. Live in Christchurch New Zealand, oh Jesus, Christ, church, all one word: I live in Christchurch New Zealand by the way I'm gonna midnight mass tonight with me, a small boy boy, fuck, choir about Jesus dries up to two years ago. We had an earthquake, in New Zealand. I didn't hear about that. Then again, I dont pay attention to ship two years ago we had an earthquake which wrecked the city and killed a couple hundred people and almost killed me too now for three years I've been going out with a great girl, she's nice care,

ring fund to hang out with, and I'm not sick. A bang problem is her cousin got killed in the earthquake. Sorry to hear that ever since then she's been terrified the after. Shops have all but stop now, but she has recovered every time. A truck buys drives past the road outside my house she flinching in trembles. Sometimes she cries randomly. She won't move away from the city, because all her family is here and I'm pretty much shit and my rope aside, from this. She might be even marriage material by just can't deal with this any more. On the day of the quake, I was within twenty feet of being squash, like a great by a forced story. Building there fell on this I'd. Work just been walking on while she was having lunch in a park. So I can't sympathise with her meant oh fragility anymore, it's been too long with no improvement

I don't even know how the fuck I expect you to help me. I guess I just want to complain without anyone, I know in real life calling me and ass all forward, because the perception of my soldiers circle is that I have to just deal with it, but I'm not sure I can do it for another. Two years. Anyway, that's my problem: any advice would be appreciated, come and do a show New Zealand, sometimes because this is a great country for tourists, and I can't be bothered going to the states to see you that, aside from that, enjoy what might be the longest range go. Fuck yourself for the weak cheers make take care. What this means you sound, I totally relate to that and you can sound like a little bit of a Waldorf psycho, which I also relate to so you're. Probably you know, despite the fact that building on Fell on which is kind of a stretch. I can a building almost fell on. You like it starts to follow. You run out of the way, not that I was just there

many minutes ago. Yeah, you want two thousand other fuck and people are right, but anyways. Yeah, I totally going you know I get it. I get it years of every time. A truck goes by. She starts shaking doing that yeah fuck in five minutes afterwards, at some point you gonna grow up and get over. You know like living with a fucking. Chihuahua should know that eyes all bug doubt shaken in pain in the fuckin corner. At some point you know you got a growing dick. You have asked you to go to have asked you to go to therapy. Maybe should do that. That's what near suggested when she did. She did the first part just that I lost she's, not

Annabelle now she's on available, she suggested that you asked me to go to therapy. Just sit out. Listen, I'm concerned with the fact that you still this traumatized By the earthquake- and I want to help you get some help in start with that and if she doesn't get help and sheep shaking and trembling in the corner and paying like a little Yorkshire, Terrier. Ah. I don't know, do you ever get a break up with her? Are you gonna lay off the boughs because sums getting sums gonna? U gotta snap at some point. She's can be used to be a little drunk and you can get you ve had a bad day. You haven't a couple you're flung down that fucking shoe great and our sun. Whatever happened, somebody blows their nose, Next door and she's doing that shit, any guerrilla eager to look at her and imitator

That's gonna! Fuckin destroyer! You gonna! Do that! Jesus! I just on creepy when I did that, but this gets gonna happen. So I try to get a helper. I would get out of the fucker relationship you I mean it's been two fucking years spent two fucking years. Ok again, you know she's acted like it happened two weeks ago, yet two years that's plenty of fuckin time to get you mean you never get over, loosened somebody, but light still have it he that fuckin raw, that you know somebody can't even break wind without you view breaking down cryin is, is here

maybe she's that sensitive issues that fuck insensitive and you're not matter now sometimes opposite attract, but I don't think it is in this case that centre at twenty four year old virgin on first date, hello, bill and possibly need Sars she's not here this week she was during the first taping, I'm sorry, I should be dead used by the subject line. I'm major pussy I've had absolutely zero romantic experiences. In my life, I took some pretty brutal rejections when I was in high school and have been too timid to try my luck sense. It's not like I'm a cowering blubbering mess when I'm talking to women either. I just think tend to think why either. I know it she's going to say it's a loser mentality which is stupid. I know so You need my help for sir. You know you'll be in a pussy, and you know: you're you're, citing yourself out

you know what's going on, you know what the deal is just keep arena by now. There's this girl, whose really interested me I'm not used to that feeling la come. I do well what the fuck is wrong with you. By now these you girl The judge you may it I've got used to that. What are you a fucking Cyclops? You can't believe the kind of guys that women are interested in their not just about looks. You know thereabouts chances humor money out of it. Like others, shit we met at an inn, an English course she's attractive way, smarter than me and funding. Is We have a lot in common issues: almost a single cynical and black hearted Zion she's, perfect.

He's got a lot of issues are within the within minutes of the first time we talk. She started telling me about how she cuts herself arches and about how often she tries to kill herself aright right there dude. It's all my desktop. Then, he goes on to say: she's bipolar in skits, a frantic guys if you're gonna make up males, can you try to do a better job and make them this fucking over the top? Do you use deduced in the first focused, evidence of your email and your two fuckin dumb to not known to get away from this that if this is true way along whatever it's Christmas. I play LE. Let's just act like this is true

she's, bipolar ants gets a frantic. Less great cut yourself tries to kill herself she's bipolar, she's gets a frantic. You know, I think they think it's all there bipolar rents gets a furnace. That's like the two piecemeal way Kentucky Fried Chicken with a side of cutting yourself too. Oh big gulp of suicide. There you that's what you want to, let your inner circle she's With a cheese, she has slew of characters that talk to her, which she I'll go. Fuck yourself, aright, nice, try body! Ok, I'm done with this email right, introspective drugs, hey built, love the podcast and I've gotta gotten a lot of my friends to listen to you and last few months I'm a forty nine fan. I love hearing patriots, fans bitch when they get B. Well, you don't hear that a lot. Do you her. Me as your question. Are you good at catching punts? You wanna play that game. Sir, haven't want anything and

when you fucking years how'd. You like that Seattle damn you know what I give my p Karel impression for you how many times you to see this last night. That sounds too much like Rick flare. I gotta get somewhere in a felt films audio. If what he sounds like, said when he does that anyway, because I know you hang out with joy, Ro, given that a lot of famous allay comedians and I'm curious, If you ever are willing to get down with mushrooms or any kind of psychedelic substance get down with it. Get down now today or next week, just any time in the rest of your life. You seem like the kind of guy who would be balls out laughing making. Everybody else laugh with introspective insights, others,

doubt I would have a great fucking time if I ever did it, but that's that's really. What scares me you know to me like when I listen to people who have done mushrooms, I listen to it sounds fuckin ass. It does, but you know, there's a price that you pay when you do shit like that sea I, like being ignorant, you don't owe me like walking into nature. Sober is, is awesome to me. Cause I don't know. If I was on mushrooms dad, I would be enjoying a tree that much more the fact that I never did it like. You know, like the first time you get high, if you shoot up with heroin like those guys she said every Fuckin, Dana Mattawa they do. She paid REACH game was not unbelievable. Compared to what. You know what you shot up. It's it's

it's only so fuckin enjoyable, so. Drug scare me because I know that I would really enjoy them. And I ve seen what they ve done to a lot of people's lives and die, and I'm not literally saying you end up on the street homeless and my tongue about that extreme thing. I'm just saying how I've seen a lot of people waste a lot of time and talent, and Hence all in all a type of stuff, but I do not question why people do them at all. You know I would lead the hallucinate. You love to talk to a sneaker. Why wouldn't you talked everything else? They can talk at this point about it. You know the new experience, but the problem is, I just feel like. I would I I would love it and you know that's why I don't do it. Then it is a lotta comedians talk about.

We topical shit, but it seems, like you, have a deep vein of intelligence that a certain audience homes in odd. Ah I get it. I see what your butter and me up. You wanna do mushrooms with me. This is what you. Really me like an eighteen year old incoming freshman. You know you're the most beautiful girl here Enough of a fuck inside you know only buzz tonight when I go to church. I'm not saying I never would but like I just I'm not going. I know myself too well the should I with alcohol is not enough enough of a fuck inside

when we passed the night when I go to church has desert, I think I can shop newsman outta my breath. I wasn't raised like that in my table that guy breaks open the wine I'll bits all bets are off underrated, a flask flask at midnight mass. You know it's a great thing about a flask. If somebody catches you with it all, yet, though you do to get out of it is easier. Can you do that? Not any given little toast and it is just so awkward they have to nod and kind of give you like a fuckin black powerfulest bacteria give what're you gonna. Do you know anyway girlfriend jealous of dog Dearest, William? I watched your stand of special, my girlfriend, we loved it. Oh thank you very much anyway. My girlfriend is jealous of my dog. The dog is small and I have often have it laying with me on the couch sleeping in bed with us. Of course, I'm calling with my girlfriend. At the same time, while you cuddle with

beast, I know it's a little dog, but still so you got like you got no threesome going on there. I kind of soup house. Why should be annoyed, but she still complains that are more affectionate with the dog and is often me in an abusive to the dog, pushing her around calling her slut, slash, whore, etc. Has this happened to you. Am I oughta my minors it strange for a girl to be jealous of an animal I do is. I think you need to stop sleeping with your dog. When your girlfriend's there, you gotta, know that humans are higher up the dogs, ok treat you go with a little more respect, ok, first off, and secondly, you need to dump that woman. No k that whole shit there like getting jealous of the dog is one thing that

said the dog. She just upset that you probably say way more lobby doubly things to the fucking dog, get away more affectionate to the fucking dog, correct the dog patent. It the way more than you are her, so that's normal, but which takes up the point of the bizarre calling. Dog slot or a whore, hitting an animal, pushing or on any fuckin level. That's that's a done deal right there all right. If those two lights were there. I don't know what color she would come out, but it wouldn't be the color that I am right all american here apple pie and shove relate buck. Chevalier like forts reunited, say that's what you're gonna do you gotta took curve your attention you ve given to your dog and go to dump that woman? That's it! Anyone whose me do it! an animal. Is there a piece of shit? That's the tip of the iceberg. The Bronx tail locked the door test right there. Europe see, you Alright, overrated underrated bill. I love the park

listen to it. All. The time I think there are way too many overrated sports cliches, for example, give a hundred ten percent can one game at a time at the end of the day, etc. Half time interview with any coach, what do you think bill? What your opinion sports cliches? Are they overrated or underrated? if so, what some of your favorite slash most an annoying ones. Or will this time of year they always have the classic outside there be eight and sixteen nobody wants to play. They got that one. They always have their team. The best team, with a shitty record that nobody wants to play. Of the one that the coach will say, I'll die. If you give me twenty two allows guys gimme twice to it. Guys I go on the faded.

They don't make up like that. Guy is a throwback that guy's a throwback, though Everybody just walked in You walked in late already, whereby the whole thing. With some of the other ones. This is the one I hate the most day. You hate that guy, but if he played for you, love em, they say that about those dirty pieces is shit that go in like deliberately blow somebody's me out in their career and for the record I would love them. If they played for my team, I wouldn't I dont like a piece of shit whether there were in the uniform of a team that I love for all that I ate. I don't like those guys so utterly. It's an overrated underrated, but I gave you

written under age. Under aid are bringing a flask to midnight, mass is underrated and they may come of really get one might come over for. Second, how was the pilot that pilot amazing? It was I walked, and I was like always beautiful. You did a great job and how mainly that I look in that April. I don't understand why you won't allow me its weaknesses like this. Because I didn't because I get enough shit, why help em out I'm a guy laffer asylum, five minutes on our thou, as those going is great, but that pilots amazing? I can't wait to habitats there. I saw what I'm gonna do. Is I'm going I'm gonna fuckin send out the picture of the pot and watch they'll should all over the, nor should Oliver birds of prey. I did hear he roared somebody's days. Somebody

shit leg and then do they know what a boar may cook you aren't. I have you talked about them. How you're? Really your skills in the kitchen have become quite good. Thank you, but when those those damn near a compliment is a compliment, you made that that prime, no other brave, short Rebs, which was amazing, brace short rubs. He made abrasion Rebs by this beautiful bottle of wine. It was very romantic. It was still in it was delicious too. It was like restaurant quality good overrated cooking! It's not that hard! All he's fucking jackasses on food, never get those blow. This is going to infuse in that it takes a certain amount of creativity. I think in out like make something really special. Anyone can make a bite. The recipe that you around little. You know. That's all. I do a Google Baghdad jazz they own, what don't ever do that. Again, though I do, I do

follow the recipe word for fuckin work. Well, that's it! When you get more when you get more competent you'll be able to improvise a little bit more, you won't have to do that. We like I'm making this today and you'll, be why seen in secure when I'm in the kitchen upset nowhere in a woman's fucking apron eagle eye you you're wearing my your mom gave me so I was kind of like while you the way I laughed yet You did what merry Christmas NEA man Merry Christmas, happy, Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa Christmas! Everybody Tell what everybody in thank you, everybody, the sheer everybody come on out to my shows, everybody use. Listen. Anybody was advertised on this pod, clad pod class. Podcast, God bless you go fuck yourself. We got one more Monday law. In this year. I hope you guys have a good time. Don't and others will be some douche bag.

Dismiss it enlarges, somebody you don't fuckin like India, just what have they done, engage for the sake Your mom, you dad are just everybody and other, even the person you're with just don't get involved in it all right. Just Anna. At a time go stand under the street like see what color there all right. That's it go. Fuck yourself.