Hey, what's goin on its bill Bur and it's the Monday morning, podcast for Monday June, tenth two thousand in thirteen happy birthday to me happy birthday to be happy you read me, me. What's going on, I saw this yellow. I'm excited the first time I've been doing been doing this podcast. For six years, and now once has the power of the pod God ever graced me with the podcast that actually fell on my birthday. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and I want to say, despite the fact that their

over. Seven thousand four hundred fifty eight podcast on my street alone are that I am the first part castor. I will host a fuckin podcast on his birthday on put not out there. You can go what we Pity. Google, it do whatever the fuck you want to do with it. I'm telling you First, one: whoever did it these other guys. And women who said that they did it dead. Just talking I touched me there, I'm actually joy, So I know what you think you're right now you like, while Bill it's your birthday. First, sure everybody ass. How old are you now? I'm forty five meters, something about this

eyes- fill you youngsters out there. It's not the ones. It's not the tools, it's not the seventh, it's the fives, the five get you you don't owe me. Twenty five and twenty four kind of scared, but twenty five fuck, here we go sliding into thirty. You know that's when you're you're right on top of the fence there right, walk in Berlin Wall. You know, which way am I gonna fall free side or the countryside right Aging is like it's like: reverse progress, oh you would actually, when you get to the five you fall back over into FUCK Edna, Post World war, two german guess from now. Until four forever is gonna be Post World war two bill: what do you know what the fuck I'm talking about whenever they put up their God damn? Well, what did they put it up? it put an upturn Kennedy. Was it.

In forty eight hours that Israel Fucker remember. Thirty five was a bitch. They all suck a mobility, they are stuck, but thirty five was a bitch and now forty five I am slightly under fifty- does not even such I'm still toward polyps. How can I be forty? Five would have still do polyps that doesn't make any fuckin sense, because when I was all people, nobody. Actually nobody worked out when I was a kid nobody- Dr, like I've, never seen my dad trying to touch his toes my entire fuckin life. I never seen Do a jump, a jack. I never saw any of his friends, not they just rolled out of bed. Now sat on the side of the bed for a second gone, her hygiene, and then they get up brush your team.

Take a shower put on some clothes are bacon and eggs and go out to work like fuckin. Come on. They walked through the door, be like our right. Nobody would shut. The fuck up carbon and they sat down in a difficult, be still and then they go in eleven on they sit down a chair tat. Why would you do they believe? Is now I'm tired? Ok, right! Go Europe, You know when I watch a little bit tv right. There were two hours fuckin head was just back. And that was the day was no working out whatsoever. There was maybe like two people who could do still do polyps at forty five, when I was a kid.

And it was like Johnny Weiss Miller and die that guy did the juicer we used to do like Arthur funds, are rarely when he worked on cars on happy days. I want to three o clock I do not see that I tell you this, I actually yeah. I can't run because I did that what podcast casts middle weak. I did episode of violent crawl, show and I got work with one Howard's dead and he was he was cool hand, look and he actually told me stories about being in the EU. I guess he's and he had a small role. And he's in the last seen were cool hand. Luke. Those of you haven't seen it yet Spoiler alert, aright Your fingers in your ears and go for the next fuckin ten seconds right Zander wanting a your ship.

At the end of the movie when cool hand, look get shot in the church is part of the cops You know that had taken him out and then that what we ve got here ices now we'll take it from here he's in that same absolutely lead jerry any said. They shouted up and Bakersfield California. So there you go I was hilarious. Any was eighty five years old, improv and still sharp is hell, was ass, great great guy oh thanks to, were crucial in the cruel forget me: because, if you didn't, I wouldn't had that experience and please watch the cruel shock as I think that, due to fuck ingenious, they go. There's my plug for the work it out. On my birthday. Hyping somebody else's project. You know what that is right. That is right. It all very generous waving a martyr bill, don't cry for me! Fucking Billy,

I want to hide something right now: pay built. Nobody stopping you just stupid part, our right, fuckin, grumpy, cunt,. Tickets for the Billy Red State tour are now on sale for a number of the values, specifically my first to date, one in Boise, Idaho and the other one in Bozeman Home, saying that right, Montana the lead State in the union that I've never been to? Ah and here's the deal. You know a lot EAST coast comics like myself. We never tried these states, unless we don't some college, gave us some ship. We usually don't come through here, so it would be great if you guys gave me. So wonderful story to tell all my fuckin hilarious comedian, friends about where to go to plague. You know how Montana you want, the sensation

the teen idle cessation, Joe back into Rosa, to grace big sky country within Goddammit. Sell a fair. Your wrangler genes get off the math. Whatever you got a fucking do. It comes down to my shop, just fuck, you guys, I'm after hope and animal sell tickets out there. What it really is I said I'm not going to, which is why I'm already twenty guilt, you guys into the fact that I'm gonna spread rumours that you guys don't like EAST Coast, comics Even though I'm Hollywood sell out here, So when you the deal, the Billy Red State towards common to us near you make stops in Idaho, Montana, South Dakota gear places in Colorado. I don't have the data from Kansas Oklahoma, El Paso Texas is where wrapped up and I would love to see I'm working on a bad ass t shirt and I'm gonna be selling

selling only on the on the Red Red State, Tor and that's it right there you go, I'm done plugging the ship itself, Let's get onto this movie that I wanted to see until Saw the rating and outspoken and the shit out of me is in the summer season is actually a wonderful movie coming up called the heat. Dad. I searched someone might be it if you watch the. The trailer the story, Sandra Bullock and Melissa. Mccarthy, if you guys, could help me up and go by a movie ticket to that one. That would be tremendous dar. You know. Be something that I would enjoy. Is it any wonder why they don't have me, do press for anything with a foot Brad Pitt, I'm looking to separate now, wars see what is the name of this fucking movie

World WAR Z, are there, we got the here's, a fuckin movie, here's a guy. This I am aware that I wanted to see Brad Pitt World WAR Ii and the fucking world right. The zombies the ship, the world, as we know it will not exist in. I don't know how many days, when the great fuckin lines, the kind, a line that makes me want to get off. My fuckin couch you know put, slippers put on a small. Jack and go down to the local movie theater and taken a picture right and then and a bit off. They show everybody run into their fuckin lives. The ended a goddamn world worldwide, see what what? What do you know? What that is this world war, one world war, two They said fuck all the numbers, rights into infinity, factly, attire,

alphabet all away to the last letter: World WAR, Z, I'm I'm fuckin, I'm there. I gotta see this ship and then in the end, what do they do to me? Raided Pga, thirteen Go fuck yourself, that's gotta, go fuck yourself, the bread, or the direct or anybody else. Then I'm tryin to burn a bridge with its a fuck. You too that counts. I know that that was rated our movie fact. I've heard that it was an they fuckin took the knees out of it. They fuckin dragged down into peachy. Thirteen are right. I don't give a fuck who you are. If the world is ending, and you get and chased by zombies. You not runner. I got out guile e g, o heck Crime is odd, Jimmy Cricket and once every ten minutes ago, ah shit, you know you don't.

That's the end of the world was zombies from the beginning once said discover this zombies to the end of that movie, where they hopefully solve. The problem should be a bunch of people, more weight, eight and eighty five percent of the people go on, and then the other fifty percent should be. Grabbing them by the shoulders. Gopher prairie, all the itself right, that's most of the dialogue in that movie. But now How do I just said that way? Now it's it's peachy thirteen. So what are they? Gonna do what what what's gonna happen. They gonna slowly. You know have some metaphor for you. Why we should not stop using fuckin plastic water bottles. Are they weave that into the story line in the nose funny? I actually tweeted I have to at that I hang my head in shame, but I did tweet than I do still consider myself a man even say

That out loud sate agenda? I tweeted I said zombie movies are rated, are hashtag world was the most people agreed so courses? One can't goes. I have to respectfully disagree it's like other that that's a great idea. I see that business model saw me get this straight. I want to spend over said the success of the walking dead, Fuckin twitter hack, it's like other that that's a great idea I see that business model, so me get this straight. I want to spend over a hundred out fifty million dollars a my money making it. I'll be movie and I'm gonna make get no more fuckin crazier they what people can see at home on the couch and watch? That's what the fuck you tellin me! That's dead right there! That's your business model that makes sense to you at about all the council are going to steal the movie anyways or just man I'll just wait. Weeks and then I want you out fuckin whatever right. You want to get him out.

Wanna get I'm excited. They come down to go, see the picture in a big scrape, that's themselves and pop points that now, at their best gal right, you're gonna make it. You know what Why don't you just make? According to Jim's World WAR, Z, Europe now just respect the gym or according right, I'm just save what what what? What is the purpose? So, when you go out to your favorite pizza place, if you could make the p just as good at home, you you wouldn't fuck and go out or if someone would you show up, do you fuckin houses, step body, a tv go as your fuckin Peter. You not go. Why the fuck would you a pigeon thirteen zombie fuckin movie. Could somebody for the love of fucking I explained to me. They were doing that lately aright. Superhero movies should also be radar

I should do one of those. Do she ones that nobody cares about our but all the other ones Batman CAP, America. All that shit should all be rated. Are those the heroes and not the kids, those for adults who don't not a fight. I want to live through somebody else? Who actually has the six pack? That's what those movies afore. I feel you know that you think tat I would take. I would actually gulf if I've made a fuckin superhero movie, I would go for the sea. Seventy Europe, if spider man, when he's hang an upside down and the fuckin girls, Kestenbaum that wouldn't be. He would have been hanging a little bit lower if you know what I mean he's still be upside down, but he would be hanging a little bit lower come on people. Do the math some between sixty eight. Seventy is what I'm talking about a right. That's how that fucking thing would have gone down. Ok, you fuck all these critics who,

like all my God, that's absolutely horrific stand. Lynch must be fuckin rolling over honest futon because they never gave him the money deserve for creating the character, and I, Would be I stand by I stand by this? Is the Peter Parker, that everyone knew existed, but no one wants to see. You know he behind an upside down distortion is work in spite of dick right, no mouth. Ok, you know why cause he's, because he spied on my right hand, man have spider using the power for good and he still has a day job still. The fact that day that great meter, what oh, what a common man he's not like Bruce Wayne. Walking around at all these fuckin eyes wide shut parties. You know how,

tuck cedars, does Bruce Wayne out and how did he make its money? You know I'd all these comic book people losing their fuck him by his. I don't know anything about the back story, but in his pocket people and I give a shit how much what? What did he do? How did he inherit money? What both his parents got shot in the alley there there your parents got killed. Is that what the money is spent, it he's never workin he's never work any of those. Fuckin movies is always going over the mayor's how's, your Fuckin trust fund, kid Peter Parker still works for the school paper or whatever I workin for Fucking Jamieson, a guy named after whiskey That's the guy and I like when you were the black suit to. I think that that would look better than this

it started control in him. I didn't like that. They made Peter of weak. You know you know I'm in over my fuckin head one, I'm talking about goddamn superheroes here. What are we doing here seventeen minutes and its time. It's time to talk to you about how you can shaved better. Every biology. I do in the shape of once. It makes me feel like the old days like when used to watch baseball and everything was about your fucking balls or cologne right booze in velvet old spice put it on you, nuts dollar, shave club everywhere. Get a good shave. Getting a good shave can be a real pain in the age looking around through fifty different brands. Matching new blazed old handles bullshit features where you're razor doubles is a flashlight vibrator toothpick. Twenty bucks

a new razor, it's a complete rip off! I talk to you guys about this. They have the stupid blades locked behind glass right like their bars of gold. You know why are people, steel and because there are friggin rip off our friggin, you can turn ridden advertising there. Even Carson this in the copy here so to Hell, with its a fuckin rip off twenty bucks for new razor to hell with death darbyshire dot com to get high quality raises delivered to your door for just a couple of bucks a month they made it so simple to get high quality honey per cent, aren t, fuckin razors, set on schedule, see you never have to think about it ever again, every month to get a new pact every week you change your blade and its it costs a fraction of what you pay it retail I I want. I want you to try to go to dollar shake club dot com. Ford slash per year a free sample of doktor caregivers, easy shave, butter, witches

Some with your first shipment also makes a perfect fathers day gift the dollar shave club, something he can actually use our Would you like to watch tv a little bit better everybody? Would you like to watch it more efficiently? Will I got something for you? He says pointing at you with his freckled index finger Hulu pass Hulu. Thus, you ve tried streaming. It shows on your pc on who would dot com now it's time to start your free trial of exclusive content in your liver, groom and on your mobile devices on Hulu plus as well? other thing. You can actually watch it on your your ear, your smartphone, wherever they how you go on your tablet,. I believe is what they say: hey, but once you just read the copy: ok, with hullo plus you get total control to watch thousands of shows wherever you, wherever you want, whenever you want use, Hulu plus Unconnected He's game consoles Blu Ray players, Rogue who apple tv, pc or watch

anywhere on your smartphone or tablet on demand at all times and with Hulu plus you can binge on full seasons. What's your favorite I want shows, and even full series runs of Classic TV shows its endless. They got community modern family, south park as an hour Monday night Raw, the man show Jimmy Kimmel, family guy and more Hulu COM, is only seven. Ninety nine a month look unless you get blade, delivered right to your house, you got tv. Wherever you want some believable but right now there are offering an extended free trial of Hulu plus that is only available to the podcast listeners. Take control of your tv watch. Experience go to the pod cast page, billboard, dot, com and click on the Hulu plus Banner for your extended free trial or go to Hulu plus dot com. Slash bill again, though, Hulu plus banner on the part cast page, a billboard, dot com or go to Hulu, plus

Durkheim Slash bill this right here. Hulu plus this is the future. This is the way you gonna watch tv you're only going to watch and you're gonna watch it when you want to watch a ready. They you ok back to the put cast here, would have folks a fuckin put cast your current. Always a question. Somebody had a Bilbo faggots. Now people, let's try to keep the homophobia down a little. He says I want to see a show in Denmark a couple of years ago. Or a year I don't fucking. Remember. Are you going to do some more shows in Europe, preferably in Scandinavia? Thanks? Why? Yes, yes, I am I'm gonna be coming over to Europe in the beginning, the somber, I'm gonna go. Howard Dean here we're gonna start in Ireland. We're gonna go out, and I am glad enough. We're gonna. Why am I start in Ireland? I will ever looked at it. Major, but I imagine, among other places that event you before

maybe at another couple of cities, but I'm gonna, I'm hoping to go. Ireland, Scotland, England, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland And who knows, maybe I can add something else. Maybe you know where the hell I gotta go. I know if you get too far south in Europe, They start to like more. They stay still on at Benny he'll shit, where they their way back baby into debated it that we want to see that ship, the very intellect, slapstick and platform. I don't know if that's true, I'm not trying to itself anybody in France. ITALY or whatever I heard you can get pathway through Germany. Oh Amsterdam, a Rotterdam or some of those places that I've been to or some other places. Maybe I could do some standard, but I'd love to do it ends trying to keep up on what's going on over there over in Europe. What's going on over in Europe everybody

for a new segment called? What's going on in Europe, delivered ignorant American, whatever dealt with those floods in Germany on this river. That goes all the way down to the Czech Republic and they're they're moving people out that story made me sick to my stomach. Just happened. Water damage. In my house I can't imagine an entire fuckin river come through my house to my condolences. Everybody out their Vladimir Putin is getting divorced from his fuckin wife. You know she doesn't like to be in the spotlight. You know he likes go out there, lifting up little boy, shirts and blowing bubbles on this stomachs and further the press. They just do it if they ve grown apart, the kids are grown up. They go in their separate ways. I think I think Lattimer wants a nice hot piece ass. You know like in two thousand eight. They spent Larry that he was banging subject,

I was gonna marry some chicken die and, as far as I could tell with my ignorance, they put that paper out of business and I have to tell you as fucked up as these countries becoming it's still way are you know, because you don't have to deal with stuff like that, although I am a little disturbed with Obama going to China, we like war, hey. How do you sensor you're you're fuckin? How do you set your people that you're supposed to be doing the right thing for dinner? I don't know you go. That's what's going on in the world, I know it's gonna work, Turkey. There have been those protests over there. Started off with a bunch of hippies because they were cut down the yard, the trees in the park and one to put up a Strip mall and all the hippies in Turkey. Where lay that's, not cool man start. With that shit, then, all of a sudden everybody just snapped it was by the way

oh fuck, the police and all its other shit. I keep it up on that stuff lately, I may go into that: Al Jazeera, England, English. Whatever. What I was saying on the Wednesday, the special one that I thought that the AL jazeera- and I don't want people- listen that right now, like what are you a fucking terrorist? That's what I thought, because Lately. I've noticed Al Jazeera spent on like your tv, my tvs and like hotel rooms and unlike what the fuck did. They got this terrorist channel on here for You oversee listening to this and laugh at you have to understand that the only thing that we ve seen unless you seek out over here, is when they would broadcast Americans get Nay had sought off. By yeah, you know Al Qaeda That's the only thing we saw and away they would frame, it would be like and they actually tell of large Father built channel. So I just assume that, like that was like.

You like TED Turner has to anti and tedious. I thought a sort of Bin Laden with that oil money. You know that, Here's to Al Jazeera, but I've actually found it really fuck. It interesting and it's great to see a scratch. Just read about other countries, its. That's, not not. You know it's not what you think it is I'm not saying that they don't trust the? U S, but it's kind of interesting to read the criticism to hear Perception of what's going on here next saying that there are a hundred percent right, not saying there are two percent run up till we get it right and brought new horizons. But check it out that somebody told me also check out BBC world. What am I know, they're all full of shit to some extent they all have their wrangle, but it says you know you get enough angles the ship, maybe I could stand in the middle, the shitstorm it try to make sense of it. I don't fuck enough.

Plus I'm headroom- I bet you know when the dollar collapses overhear. Hopefully, at that point I can maybe then do a Billy state took over in fucking. I don't know India and speaking of which this is another great reason to go to Al Jazeera. Cause eat because flimsy American suggested the terrorists think think of some great stories you from around the world that you're not gonna, hear about here's one for you, referees sentence for sex bribe in Singapore. Lebanese linemen plead guilty to accepting sexual favours in exchange for agreeing to fix a football match. Why would you just get a worker yet up? Why wouldn't you just gets, just go. Look at some online port good. Lord.

RO bar say a load of somebody how fuckin wait a minute I dont understand. I want to see, these guys look like bears a story. Three lebanese football flares of play. Football referee, sorry plug plead guilty to accepting free section, From a gambling linked global syndicate in return for rain to Riga, match with Singapore Judge, failing to deferring sentences set the scene for a third, the third largest. I had a job, I maybe he was. The creep would just like to watch district court judge on Monday jailed assisted. Referee, I'm not saying they fuckin names, a top up. The first name, Ali Abdalla it gave in three months, And then the third reverie Ali another Ali ali- make over there's that's like somebody named MIKE, at least back in the day before they start and even kids. Dakota.

The assistant referees broke down the sobs when the judge LAO Low weeping said they could be freed. By later on Monday, Tuesday, after emission for good Ever and due to time already served awaiting their sentences, thinks they fuckin broke down and cry. Cried Let me take something I don't know much don't know much about go into prison, but I know you don't wanna fuck and cry going into prison. I dont think you want to do that. I really don't unless maybe they're cry, because maybe they did just to put them in the regular jail with all the fuckin rapists than that type of shit.

I got it somehow not get fucked in the ass until Monday, Tuesday, Jesus Christ. Can you imagine the calories? You would burn just by stressing that someone who's gonna, fuckin rape, you and the goddamned booty hope you're, not to me. I would just think the quivering alone would be like walking on a treadmill it like. You know three point one I do I get into that. Actually there was a red. So great is that Fuckin failed, comic, turned blogger. Gonna, give me shit about it. You know I get Carmody for omitted and wasn't successful, and these are the jobs that I think people should be de awake. Did you guys that thing what Jim Norton was on with that that blogger person I was just can was hilarious.

She was saying that comedy clubs were filled were basements filled with angry men, and she was coming off is quite angry herself. The whole thing was fuckin hilarious, Alyssa thing about people funded by comedy? I want to see somebody get outside of their own box. You know I want to see the fat person in the crowd get offended. Vice I don't know. I don't know what pictures with a topic but different topic, I'm trying to think ok, a fat guy get offended by massage mystic material? Have the dog lover the Peter person get offended?

by forgetting that rape, jobs or whatever, whatever the fuck it gives a fuck. You don't owe me who goes to a comedy club and takes jokes seriously, especially as it stands. Comedian. You don't owe me I'd I'd just for the life of me. I'll, never forget understand that I had the right when I came up to fuck it talk about whatever I want to talk about, and I failed miserably and I feel failed and I made big mistakes and I offended people in the crowd and all of that fuckin shit, but that was all part of learning to become a comic Find in what it is you're supposed to be doing on stage is part of the learning process so to try and fuckin just cut them off.

They get was really just a publicity stunt. You know when you write open letter to white male comics right there you get how how much harder could you be trying to be like a lightning rod? I often get them hey. I play guitar for like six seven years and I'm offended by the courts Eric laughed in his using. If you listen to this, you angry blogger up just spoken around its just jokes before you get your fuckin panties and a guard their bunch get, but maybe that's what you should do and then you can get on another talk, show and discuss comedy. Anyways ploughing ahead by the weather. Jim was great on it. I thought he was fuckin. I thought he was tremendous all right there we got. One else am I talking about here.

You know I sold lemonade streets, I'd like three weeks. What I was a kid and I would like to talk to the people lived in ice t about some of the things that are doing with their eyes to eliminate. You know I don't like the Arnold Palmer. I feel that they should be separate. I'm sorry. What am I talking about here? Let's get back to the park guessed right. Can we do that bill The fucking got all my apologies to the Chicago Blackhawks. By the way my apologies to Chicago Blackhawks, I thought the other kings. We're gonna beat you guys. I really did God dammit. I don't even act like you didn't age. During both to those games is the last time I said that, and I gotta tell ya a lot of black hawk fans really confident. Can a lot of shit on my twitter, it's almost as if the bridge We didn't just sweep the Fucking Pittsburgh penguins.

I guess that doesn't mean anything to them. I'm impressed with the way that they meet the allay kings evidently dared not to impress with sweeping the Pittsburgh Penguin by the way that anybody watch the after the Ruins one. Did anybody watch the Sydney Crosbie Press conference that dude would not give it up to the bronze on any fuckin level whatsoever? They'll be like you know, you were held score less. You had zero points. For games in a play off game. That's never have. When did you ever in history of your being the Wayne Gretzky of right now. What do you think that was? These is like I don't know you know I was weird was like you know, I I don't know I think it was the gold tending on the other team is I I wasn't it exists. And what MIA

Ultimately, we had our opportunities and just one going, what do you think? Maybe they they walk the shots, and now they were playing it now that one that, when the what was it Sidney, actually respected or at some level that he was such a competitor tat? He was still competing with. Bruins, even though the series was over, he just would not give them credit on any fuckin level for completely disrupting is game forestry games in a row it up. I made up. Look I was dumbfounded. Is anybody that we swept him, but I mean I didn't: have any questions at the

The answers to all of those questions was sitting on the other bench at Doha and he didn't give it up. They didn't give it up, but you know what do by the way how many teeth to deck I fuckin lose my holy shit. That guy is like what is. It was one to sixteen up top seventeen to thirty two on the bottom half way between seventeen. Thirty two will say: that's like numbers, twenty five laws like teeth? Number? Twenty, five, twenty six, twenty seven, and at least twenty eight? If not twenty nine he's lost either for a five fucking teeth right down the bottom man. Jesus Christ, you guys, See that you might turn out tough hockey plays are- and I include Sidney Crosbie needs much. As I call on the Party lipped cub scout there

can do took us. Let some I forget any member who the pop deflected off somebody stick and caught him right in a fucking face, broke his joy and knocked out. It looks it anywhere from three to five teeth. They literally flew out of his mouth, and the fucking do gets up and skates off the ice with the trainers and Diana. I guarantee within five days he was skating again. I could never do that so anyways. So here we are the original six, the original six during the Stanley CUP. We go the original six for the first time since nineteen, seventy nine, when the Montreal Canadian, french cunt. We're playing the the New York Rangers, Some really excited about that. This is great, for how can I think it's gonna be a great series agenda.

Actually watch those last two games, and I wondered if Brian, billing and loot and MILAN loot sheets. Around on the ice. At the same time, that's gonna be fuckin, unbelievable because those are to the biggest using the league, and now it's I think it's gonna be- fuckin awesome series, and I hope it doesn't go six. I want this thing to go seven. I hope it's gonna be a classic like said the eggshells can be on the cover, an initial players or on the cover of sports, illustrated under the headline the best answer just a great time for hockey, and if they had this a great you know Stanley CUP

I know you know, maybe they'll get a little more respect and die, and obviously I, of course I want my brains to win and I'm thinking about going to a game I might go in Chicago in already went to play a game on Horseback and Boston and plus I love those Chicago jerseys. The red once was one of my favorite once in a league. I want to go there and I won't be a cunt I shall do my berwin shit, I'm just going to sit there stoical and die when the broad score, and hopefully when the fuckin gave you know, I won't do anything to get the shipwrecked automatic and I'll go back to my wretched Fuckin, Chevy, Malibu and I'll drive back to fuck, no hair and that'll, be it and I'll. Have that experience speaking of experiences? It is my birthday, everybody and I want to thank everyone who worked with me, a happy birthday. Votes So people around you know my friends and family life for us

yeah. You know what I wanted for my birthday and I told all of them. Nothing logo me, don't buy me anything, decide Jimmy and Good fellows. I I've. Something to the water damage that I had in my house. When I took everything out of my fucking closets in these couple of rooms. I have so much fucking shit that I have not used or even looked at in in years, and I already gave away my friend talked into Jersey. I know some people were asking whether it was still available. I gave that away and I gave it away to the first guy I read like I read like twenty emails before I got to this guy and he actually brought up like Alan Page, Jim Marshall, CALL Ehler, Paul, Kraus, Chuck, Foreman, Fred Cox right back when men were named the decks. You know

while their ship- so I said, fuck it I'll, give it to give it to that person and if the person. Who ass it is listening. Please take a picture yourself in the Jersey send to me. I'll put it up in the park has page. If you want, you want a little le little fuck and shout or had actually will stop people from suggesting that I would say that they give away when there is no give away so anyway. I don't want any more shit. Are not buying anymore sports tee shirts, because I get sentimental value and I can't fucking throw em out from here on out. I'm just buying those Malcolm young, solid, color, fuck it His shirt somewhere out I throw em out because it all meaning to me now. I gotta do it man, I got a fucking, get really oh my god, damn shit! So today, what I'm doing for my birthday is, I think, I'm gonna the gun range and I'm gonna go drive out into the desert. One of the other.

One of the other? I don't over and above the guys you got a gun range of somebody knows what the fuck they don't going over there by myself and just renting a gun back I'd, say it's oddly fuckin relaxing whose no I'm forty five fucking years or what I'm not gonna, do shit for my birthday, I right I'm doing my goddamn podcast and I might go drive out desert, because I just why we wanted to do that because I'm a nerd, our right, that's it ok we got. Here's the have some questions for this week, o casino carpets says part three. The final answer: I was like a trilogy like one of those space. You know what I feel bad that I fucking came down on. It girl whose fuckin blogging and the ship corner failed. Comic like I thought

Now you know what it is if she still fuckin listening. If somebody gives with this part of it, you know what really is is I just can't believe a fellow comic would fuckin attack. I just can criticise it with with that, go. You know what I mean to shrink it down and make it smaller. I just I just blows my fuckin mine, I'm just disappointed. Disappointed, I guess, is more the word. The shit I said before set out a fuckin a mean that ship, but they just fuckin unanimous I've been doing a shit twenty one years and I'm still learn stuff. I don't know shit about the yard. Why there's no fuckin way I would go on television and start, you know criticising other fats.

Comment and not to mention like this whole fuckin thing like this. All these rape, jokes being told, is just so fuckin inaccurate. Like you just walk into a comedy club in whose ran right right rate, licks Ike, I'm trying to figure person. I can actually think of the rolling a joke that I really stands out that I'm Rob was Jim Norton. He did. He did have hilarious one. He was talking about going to prison in some. He said would you were you think he'd get right? Did you went to prison? He goes. It goes look at me. I would get raped on a bus ride and in the way and a prisoner sunlight that I butcher the joke, and it was funny so I don't know I just You know the last thing stand up. Needs is for fellow comics to be fucking. Trying to moulded into what the fuck they as an individual think it should be that just that's just beyond me, why

I get into this shit, I don't fuck and now you know why, because it bugs me aren't here, we go casino, carpets, part three to five no answer billion Wallace. I installed problem for six years, that guy was only half right or that there was a guy last week who claim that the carbon is actually really expensive in it's a really high quality, and so I guess it's either recline or second, what the fuck. You said, Jesus Christ, you say as the casino carpets, our commercial, great carpet. Yes, they last. Long time, but they aren't you He colors designs because it makes the carpets last longer the collar design are a to hide. Stains. When you spill a big, strawberry, margarita on a solid blue carpet. This disdain will be plain is day with wacky designs and colors, you can't spot a spill drink I'll call be

it hides the schemes of the carpet. Profit comes in twelve or fifteen foot wide roles. Commercial carpets are usually fifteen. That means for every fifteen feet in with You will have a full scene it was a solid color. You would see a straight line in the carpet for the entire length of the room The colors in design breaks up to seem like camouflage. Let you go love the podcast come to tells us some time ago, fuck yourself I'll. Thank you. I am coming to tell on the Billy Red State Tor All right, that's the feds Minister from Canada speaks out about. Speaker speaks about that is not once again, not my fault. This person Rights Ex Defence Minister from Canada speaks about out about aliens. Out about aliens or speaks out. About aliens borders, he speak up.

Out about aliens sure saying this isn't always me: I built love the podcast freelance. Ever week there much appreciated yadda yadda yadda thought you might like this link as you're a big conspiracy theory, a big scarcely theorist me, you said it, Former Canadian, the administrator now today minister, giving some boy old claims about several species of aliens living among us and actually working with elements in the government not only that but a shadow we Cobb I see a ba o k o, I don't know comprised of the council. Foreign relations, the bill, the burghers. Try lateral, commission that should at a you can't the international bank- cartel.

The oil cartels members of various intelligent organisers, like members emerging one world government check it out, Sir, the lasting, I'm going to do is look at this hour. Put the link up their african. I look at it right now. This sketches, makes me out and makes me depressed because there's nothing I can do about it. How is this going to help me, sir, if I find out there's actually aliens. Living among us too, Into international bankers, Euro, am I going I'm walking in thing into their meeting. Like the end of a feel good movie, you know like hey man, the people have spoken and they like me, I say we go. I got it right here. Canada's former Minister of National Defence, Paul Hayleigh, testifies at the citizens hearing on disclosure. What the fuck am I last month

Washington DC that aliens are living among us and that it is likely at least two of them are working with the? U S. Government at the sky sounds like he's out of his fuckin. Might love? That's! That's! That's that's kind of what the script here. Let's say you an alien, alright, whoever's, listen this still who believes in aliens who isn't blogging about my reaction to the blogger. And you go. Don't you go to another fuckin solar system? Not a galaxy would have the fuckin terminology is. And you land there. Ok, what are you gonna do other than try and get blended blending so people don't shop, you fuckin alien head off like how again. We did this Fuckin alien get infiltrate. The government. This is like, Mr Smith, goes to Washington the ale Just lands and just goes: ok,

I mean how come you didn't do this in Argentina, we fix the United States goes right to fuck in Washington DC walks into the capital build. Somebody's filibustering, so they can't make an electric car. Whatever comes right out in the house floor and then does what do you know? Security comes up, tries to shoot em honey just puts his hands up in their guns, turn into like chocolate, bars or fall to the ground. That for some reason everybody knows, suits doesnt, scrambled and freak the fuck out. You know. They just fuck a walk out there. What's going to relax, relax, relax the simple technology you guys will discover if you become friends with me, how to turn it to function. Gone into some melted shit that doesn't let people show you, I am from the plan It's all tar right, It was built with a z, her

Is that work like a viewer fuck, an alien what to another God the planet? Exactly, I guess. Ok, you be like if there's a bunch of different nations, which one seems to be, running shit? I gotta shop. They head off. And you just gonna want you and you in a body to you, gonna, walk and fuckin arm in arm and do what Yea, listen now just the simple fact that worry we were able to get here. You know the kind of fire power that workable beloved per se. Fuckin reason we want to take over this planet You guys do shit the way we feel that it should be done. Who'd want that fuckin headache. I don't I don't, notably the ship anyways. He believes that way.

Oh you're, whose beliefs on actual life extraterrestrial life- and you also ufos- are well established, made statements at the non governmental hearings chaired by six former. U S, calm, congressmen and aimed at according to the events website, doing what the? U S, Congress had failed to do for forty five. Here's seek out the facts surrounding the most important issue of this or any other time evidence pointing towards an extra terrestrial presence engaging the human race. Are you know what Even I have my limits when it comes to their type, a shit. I write anything that some was present thing. I would say, as fucking up the environment, world population and that type of sit ships, a little more, Unless you want to throw more people from other galaxies, also living here to do they drink bottled water. To already we got people a voice

I write a voice is the reason why you gonna make more money and twenty thirteen when you customers call. You love your own toll free number, professional, greeting dial by Amber named directory and more you sound like a fortune, five company. Even though you still in your cubicle and blow away you're competitors III. Let should give out one number rings. Wherever you are the beach the bar doesn't matter. You sound like you're at the office. He got. It a dot com and used a promo code bill S, takes all your voice, males, transcribes them and send them to you instantly as attacks. Or an email. So you can check voicemail before the meeting ends and not look rude evil Is only ten bucks a month right now, listening to my podcast, you can get a free trial of voice for thirty days? Stop what you doing hit pause, stop listening to this podcast right now. So, up your free trial.

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I'm a twenty nine year old Guy, if two years. I've been seeing in credit credibly, amazing woman, that is eighteen years older than me, and you Oh, what it's not going to work out, sir. As your twenty nine and she's fuckin, forty two euro that doesn't seem to work up, women can do that for some reason they could do it. You know, did you learn anything with Ashton, culture and it can happen. You know when you thirty seven she's gonna be fifty Gama. Thirty seven, you could still port Twenty seven year old, you're coming home to her right, she's gonna get hot flashes he's taken territories, it's not gonna work! I'm sorry! Let me continue. She sexy fun and we share a lot of common interest. We talked about what direction our relationship is going to take very early on and we decided that keeping.

Casual was the way to go. Smart move, smart move. Now what is a casual me that means I fucked you once every six weeks in my birthday, my birthday in my mind, what s a birthday in my book. You know what it is it's my birthday and I want to get on with that. I want to go drive out to the desert. That's what it was commit to each other in any official sense, but neither of us saw anyone else. What Jesus right now going to catch valence for the two years. I fell in love with our they ago and wanted to commit, so we could make a real go of it. I fucked up, though I never confessed. Those feelings to her. I was afraid of eventually hitting a wall because of the age different. So I felt safe or not telling her she recently Oh me, she has wanted the same things. I do this whole time, but she is now met someone closer to her own age. Missing the real relationship. I never gave her, I believe,

feelings for me but thinks this is the best choice for her. What do I do to stand up and fight for what I want consequences? Be and or should I let it go and accept that age differences an insurmountable problem honest, note I've been in many relationships. I know myself well enough to know the difference between love and infatuation, while that, as you know, the difference, I go for what you want? Ok, as outsider, I would say: let her go. And even though you know the difference between love and do you want to have a family, sir, in August Do you need to marry this girl in a week and start popping out the fuckin kids can she's already forty two. Are you ready to do that? Because if you're, not you gotta, let her go right. That's all I got to say I'm sorry, that's all I got on that one. I wife not down within what the with knows job

Wife, not down with no job right, dear Billy, boy love the pockets of the stand up thanks for that, what you're welcome? Thank you for a rough thank you for taking that because I'm a thirty one year old guy, I'm happily married to a usually supportive wife. I never been too much of a of conscious person, but ever since I was a teenager, if there was one thing I could change about, my physical Parents would be my nose, it's a little big and has a bump on the ridge. Now he said, roof reference, the profile on Nikola Tesla, or the rule of Constantine to get the idea. Obviously, a giant knows what this with severe act. Was immediate, feel for insult through Junior. School for the hordes of fortune girls. I vow that one day, I'm sorry, I'm just a fucking

so I bought that one day. I would get a no job to boost my self esteem. Well, I am now in a position where I could pay to have the surgery. I used ass, my wife a few years back what she thought about it. She said that if it makes me happy they do it. However, now that I am closer to having one having done she seems to have changed her mind. She says: she. Could she couldn't get used to seeing me look different and his ensure feel like, though, the remodelled me looks I'm disappear because I really want to have it done. I wish she would be supportive. The thing is wife is self conscious person and I were We then, on a small level. She thinks that the new me will be more attractive and warrant the attention. More females. That's not what I'm. This is not what I am doing this. I just want to feel better about myself. What should I do thanks for your help, I back up for a second you said your wife is self conscious. You worried that small level. She thinks the new me will be more attractive and warrant the attention of more females as much as you,

this. Isn't why you're doing this? I think that's why you're doing it subconsciously. You know. I think that that you are thought- and you put me on your way- You have to understand you're gonna stand is right. You knows all right, dad like the that's, the hobby, efface? Okay, if you add subtract, that you're really change in what you look like. Ok, then, Check out there so dirty dancing And they also with the leader that movie did she got a nose job and I thought she was fuckin. Adorable movie. I thought she was beautiful. You know I never! I can never get through the fuckin move but I thought she was hot got a nose job and I was like what did you do you know look. Do you give God knows- make shooting unique. That's it. You should stick with it stay with the damn it I don't know

to get a nose job because people teased you when you were fourteen you're better than that right and you with your wife? She loves you follow you. Are you now I love listen, do its young, it's your call in the end, but they don't exist we have those things down to a science. You don't owe me at this point. Six surgery. It's like shooting three. You know most of em, most of em. Don't go with that, but when they do the crowd go crazy. So there is a chance that you could come out what the nose you want, but more times than not. I think it's gonna give you know you won't. You knows the fucking clang off the front of the rim or even worse, shoot a fuckin airborne splat on the fuckin hardwood, I would never recommend plastic surgery

but today I know what you're wrong. I know what you're gonna do this shit about myself. I like that I'm fuckin losing my hair and believe me. Every time Those here commercial come on. I fuckin sit there. Look at em go should I shudder and then always say: I'm not gonna, but I never rule it out that I wouldn't do it. I just keep waiting. Five years? It gets better and better and better like how it looks at this point now they can do Vacuum the hair on the back and just fuckin planted up front. As opposed to having the scars and the hare plugs and haven't that shit them, but I still for some reason: I'm not gonna do it. I don't know why, and I don't know why I think about because Think like I can guarantee that if women went bald, they would all get fucked here. They would all have their blogs in one generation and then they would all have that type of think gonna. Makes me. Laugh. Women make fun of guys that get like a transplant, like all I got as they set their wearing make up. You know

I heels on- and everything about them is to fuckin enhance you know their looks. But then also I get why they don't like it. You know cause, I think, what they are attracted to it For now we see that we have some troll of a man, but I think that they they may show. This might come back to you. They want you to be a fuckin man. It becomes what you go out there and swing a goddamn acts and bring some fuckin lumber and for the fire You know they don't want to sit there watching you looking at you in Amerika. Look, there's a guy knows I just I got my ears, look it up, I don't I. Does. My advice would be. I would think long and fuckin ard right and you told me to look at that picture of like testing. Constantine the fuck. You say their names. Why don't you go look up that chick

before and after who was in dirty dance and which is an asshole thing for me to do cause, I'm sure she had a lot of trouble over that now get a fuckin restore the pot. Yes and then you you'll probably like well. That was a nose job from fuckin twenty three years ago and I feel like Roland the dice, then by all means go for it, but why don't you do before? And after take a picture Yeah no standard to the site, like the mug buckshot photo. Can we afford into the side and therefore to decide in the end- and this is the deal if you get me up for I never get, and after that I know what happened, I'm trying to think what those waters from dirty dance. Was that all about with drugs were z,. He really tides

This is done better than my out froze hovered cause, Patrick Swayze, you guys cancers. I can still smoking go fuck yourself that do when out, like a man, You know it really did sorted Saddam Hussein to take a total left enter day right now, people are buried. A hang me right now and I was wrong. I would definitely except the hood, please put the hood of my face. You can't see me blubbering inside he said not or whatever they stared down. Everybody was talking shit fuck, you go fuck yourself, your mother's or then they put the rope around his neck. And furthermore I say your grandmother's mothers. I can't I spent and that was it outright.

Always the outflows here? I guess the show is over once again everybody a couple of things. If you'd like to buy a hard copy version of my dvd for you old school people, you cannot do that a billboard com. You can also download it boy about one of my shows, an autograph it for you yeah and, if you'd like to donate to this part, casting a wounded warrior project go on. Amazon come now go to the Amazon Dotcom banner on the podcast page, my website click on the son of a bitch Gonna Amazon by whatever the hell you want, doesn't change the price. They kick me a little luck thanks to sending them here and then I pass it on some of it, ten percent of it to the body worries project. I write so that's it. Ok, now shows over don't forget to support our sponsors.

Gotta go to set up the free trial of voice joint thousands of entrepreneurs who use their EU voice. Personal reception is twenty four seven right now get a voice for thirty days. Go to avoid dot com. Promo code bell! That's egos dot com, promo code bill and Hulu plus, as I mentioned start watching tv. Your favorite shows right now go to the park, has page billboard, dot com, click on the Hulu plus Banner free, extended free trial or Hulu, plus dot com, slash bill and finally, sign up for dollar shape. Club forward. Slash Bur makes a great father, they give you get high quality raises Cynthia Door every month for a fraction of the cost. And that is why, ladies gentlemen, that is it. That is a podcast for this week. Please watched the Stanley CUP if you get a chance, also I'm route for the sparse I'm route for the spurs against the Miami heat. I'm doing you gotta, do it? Ok, you gotta! Do it fundamental basketball,

Europe, every white guy wants there to win the outcome, it's the best we could bring fond of me. The basketball theirs I've been a white doktor jack. It just has up. There's been some Likewise, we can grow. Up. Rose is better than a couple of white guys. Gonna can jump a little bit, but it's just enough we're picking role guys. So one who knows no what's gonna happen. I think the inevitable, but I'm hoping Esparza Gonna win an activist So we should that I was just about White Guy basketball. I just love you gonna live when the underdog wines and spirits which the browser gotta be the underdog against the yard, Blackhawks considering the first two games or in Chicago, isn't that

who knows check it out or God go check out. Sports illustrated read up on some hockey can maybe get involved in the series. It's a great game. That's it! That's a pocket! Go fuck yourself! I'll talk to you next week.