« Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 9-19-11

2011-09-19
Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill interviews Tom Green

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey what's goin on its bill bird and it's the Monday morning, podcast from Monday September, nineteen, two thousand eleven how the hell are, you must go, and you guys ever, Well, yeah, that's good! We got a very special pick out a very special guesses. We I forgot to bring it up last week during the Pike S also so busy goin off on the fairies This guy is said by my you know, slump in over in my fuckin chair. I forgot to bring up this week I have a. I got. A big time gets to my show, the one and only Mister Tom Green arrive greenbacks around me on bill the school. Thank you for raw for common in the air and thank you too Patrick Mountain of the nobody likes onions, wonderful, podcast, for let us come over. That's probably why the quality this sound so well. You got set up multiple microphones, others mixing boards, Alchymic sing consoles computers. Lot,
Peters, yeah. You were saying to me. You got like why you thought that this was my stuff. You will like our while you really updated- and I thought you said your underwear and did this as I saw a video of you- do in your pocket ass before and you were just talk and into a MIKE on a couch there's a maniac! That's how I usually they when this is. This is worth much more alarm. So will you nervous that gonna be coming to my place. I can be sitting there. My pajamas awkwardly interviewing. You knows looking for two hours, I'm sorry we didn't get to hang up more Montreal was like. I was only too for two nights this year and we did so is it my eye was enough. I ever there's a thought people in a room talking each other and and then it was just. I was only there for two nights this year. Did you have fun in Montreal this year, but it always gets. There's always that person you wanna go talk to end as you're walking over their eyes, like nine people will come up to you. And I'll just be like hey, I got a Roman, the Yukon territories. You ever make your way up there. I want to do that. Romeo, like talk to my manager than trying to help
were but Jesus Christ, Patrick. What are you doing you ve bump and my guess out of the way, exactly what happened and then and then turn around them in Europe. And I was gone and the news then I love. I want you to know. I took it personally here, I'm just like that son of a bitch too. That's why I'm bringing it up. I don't want you to think those who should I like. Well, I know that a lot of funding and out this year you did my podcast at the small castle. We ve been hanging out up at my place, seven, some barbecues and stuff. You have very good barbecues yeah. May I think that we have another. One is weak, actually, maybe fraga you around her. Now actually no Friday of this week. Yeah oh yeah around here clearly that the life of a comedian, absolutist, have Z. Most people have the barbecues I'm in town this weekend, they'll be, while the main reason why Tom is here is because I am, then he I'm hyping his big time date stand update in Boston, Massachusetts, he's gonna, be it the well but, as I say,
ass in the Wilbur Theatre September, thirtieth and Tom is taping, two shows for your first stand, a comedy special, absolutely so this This is huge Monday morning, podcast listeners in the the New England area Tom Green September. Thirty is that the the Wilbur theatre. How excited are you to be doing this observer? Special, I'm excited and others can be. You know me cause. I've been basically touring now like this for for years and the real deal man I arrived. I check out your website you're, not one of those guys deepened in once once a month. You do like to three road dates a month earlier out a great time, and this tv taping it on September has been sort of sat for about six months now suggests it's like a goal. I've got in. I got here at exactly the way I want it to be by September thirtieth in Boston. So are you fail and how do you feel like right right before the right before you take on what you think I feel good? I feel good.
I I feel good. I feel that I feel is good as I can you know. Yet it's never get it gonna kill it. I didn't tell you: gonna kill her eyes. I saw Tom, not this Montreal, Ass Montreal, this first time as I always been a funny stuff, so I saw our times to withstand a viable single. Do, like you know, sort of Tom Greenish cars doves you gonna be doing like like what I've seen you do, what you do to stand up and you went up there and I was totally blown away because right off the bat, there was a little bit of anger underneath stuff, and then there was also some conspiracy theory. So within five minutes I was totally on board. That means a lot I anville. Obviously- and I mean it's- you know it's gone and now so just really get started that I've just kept writing you know it's it's interesting. When you have, you know, it's being documented, and you know people are going to see it. It really gives you it's nice to have that goal and that show in September, as has been the gall September, Thirtieth has been the goal. So you know I'm really just trying to
everything I have made a lot of a just now, you know, and the aid during the facebook I do talk, but that still yeah, that's still one of my favorite light and that's a big sort of I'd, say a big theme of one of my bigger themes at the shows. Just a lot of that addiction to this crazy technology and put all that stuff out there, like I'm totally paranoid about aid summits. Today, at an hour now pay pal, I get this email from pay fell, telling me that they want my federal tax, Idee number and I'm just like, and I'm just possible. He's at this. You know you see these freaking kids that can break into like the goddamn Pentagon and find out who killed Kennedy or whatever, and I'm supposed to believe that this this email yeah they said either send you had relied de number you social security number are just as this all that stuff, where you can basically be me in ten minutes and in even if it is there Like I that's just shit. I would rather do over the phone yeah exactly because, even though somebody on the other, the phone can be totally dishonest, abnormal
what some can get you, but I try to limit my exposure right. I never send that stuff over email because now. You know that she get nervous like when you go on the internet and, like you, you'll, be looking at something. You look like mob handles just something stupid that, although some like the next you're on Youtube and the entire like borders are our stuff that you already looked animals like that, like I thought that was while some stuff keeps popping up figure, there was a reason it was suddenly dry that site. I do get that allow! Well, let me ask you this considering you came from like a background where you'd you did a lot of like tv and that stuff, Canada, the don't go and more like the two basically door? What I'm doing with your right now hosting stuff did, did you do stand up before you got into? I did when I was when I was a kid when I was fifteen years old, I got up on stage yuk Yuk in Ottawa, and I fell in love with an I did it for about three or four years. How did you have the balls fifteen to go up there,
You know, as I was a heckler, I would go down to Haeckel actually Larry and we got we'd get kicked out. My friends and I will go down there. It was indeed a restaurant licence at the club, so you could go at fifteen years old, the comedy club in Ottawa and who is you know, sort of us a loophole for us was a well we're. Hang it on bar. You know an advantage. Without this was cool. We can go down to the barn Zol. These older people owns adult theme. And we're sitting there drinking to Coca COLA right and you are being totally hyper just insane people me and my friends when we were kids, we were just knots and we just wanted to be the one always mouth has ordered the comedians. Get that these snot NOS fifteen year olds were up there heck leverage that were driven me, nuts, ere it. I think it and we got kicked out banned from the club the day that we found out that they had an amateur night. We were, I think we were like the that mentioned. There was amateur night call in and leave your named. We unambitious than that night we kicked out banned from the club was his
and when you are going down there, you were doing just for the hell of it as you already know like. Maybe I want to do this. I think it was sort of a sort of a sort of right on that matter. Meant of realising hey. This is when we realise aid would be cool to be able to get up on stage and tour the world and be noticed no road war. You're a comedian, and there was something there was there was. Is on my mind even before that better, yet in the road seem awesome before you did it. Just that it was the cause they would sum was again get a weakened. You know Tulsa That sounds bad ass in the first few times you do it. It is pretty exciting, but once you ve found sometimes, though, like when I come home for too long, I start to get get it she and have to get back, get a craving to get back on the road costs that disease. You know even men doing too much when you
back to the airport and you go home. The area out. Ok, I'm gonna, go grab STAR Box by a magazine, sit sit way for the better. Ass it was, it was something I love do an end. I stop doing it when I was a teenager too, and I started that my show and the public access station was my twenties and adjust refocused everything. I was such a brilliant like the foresight to do that. Like I mean what I think is, if I started stand up at fifteen, I will just take. I was so ahead of the game and then, if I did, you know three years of that, I would I was so invested in it. Why would you stop doing what actually happened? I was in a rap group. I told you about my rap group and we got a record deal when I was eighteen years old in Canada. A canadian record deal with aunt em records and it was a big thing.
Up there for us. You know we moved to Toronto and recorded this album and I actually had a show one of my first sort of real shows. My had been doing amateur Knighton feature in middle spots for a couple couple years, a few years and- and I had to show in Montreal that I had booked and I had to cancel it to go. Do this record- and I was so embarrassed and ashamed with that with myself, I canceled this show that I just serve was a little bit embarrassed to go. Back to the club for awhile and plus I then I got caught up in this rap thing. Like you have a thing. We you think the whole world cares about what you yeah again. What was sitting there going? Can you believe yeah yeah, agreeing care when there's a lot? He doesn't deserve yeah yeah, exactly a comedian anymore. Exactly sir. I so paranoid about it and I got caught up in this rap thing we toured round with, for a year or so and then and then then I went back school and The wrapping serious was joking around here,
I don't know what you're doing funny stuff, but we will we wanted to be doing like Beastie boys kind of thing, but this aid, Shell, was really ridiculous. We'd every shall we bring like a hundred loaves of bread and just basically thoroughbred slices at the audience throughout that it was like. That is why we are bits where we put laundry baskets on her head and do this sort of strange performance are of slow motion, dance sort of rising so was definitely had a lot of weird strange now. How do you get out is often like deck as employees. I've always been LE special now, generally bad with confrontation, so you run a banned at some point. Did did the ban just get put to the side, I'm doing a tv show, or did you actually sit down I'm just saying we have creative differences. While we had a record deal- and we did the first album on the album, you know sold all right, but the record label dropped us after a couple As you know, we gotta got a letter in the mail and we regret to inform you. No one called us when we regret to inform you that we will not be too.
Another record. I, and so you re, I read that in a sort of I remember was like one of those one of those moments in life were of the singer gone. Oh, my gosh right, my dream of becoming a wrapper is dead. What am I gonna do so I went back to school. I took television broadcasting, you didn't think to God just go back to stand up. I think you do that. You start they still care down at the club you now now you know what it was as I I I think. Even when I was doing the rap group, we would we sort of honour the and Canada we gotta drano. Would we be on much music? We do, although interviews and go on the shows and stuff mine. I was nineteen at that time and
I just knew that I mean that basically, everything for me was revolved around the David Letterman show. Basically I grew up watching the David Letterman shown that all aid and in Monti place on and see tv, but really was David. Letterman was watching him yell and out of his is office with a megaphone and raised messing with people on tv. That was just me. Like the you know, that the that there was nothing better than that in the world that it had a liking. They ever want to do it. In Canada, you gone down the comedy club. Firstly, there was mess with the comedians onstage Jaso. Maybe that that really there was something some sort of inner desire to stir the stirrup shit or something like that, but I can say that right, Spock, Austria, shit right, believe me, yeah, so, hunt on here all the time. It's fun This is probably the classy. Is fifteen minutes I've had on this part. I thought I was I was trash. Ferries are less is maybe this to them. You can see
Yes, sir. I said next in a tub of shit Last week you out, I was flying out the Phoenix AEGIS spilling into my goddamn chair and he ordered more food to become even fatter, and I just eight the murderous thoughts that were going through my head ad. I end up. Some people are That's how I went off Dick out another considers considered like a disability. I wanna get your thoughts on this before we go through everything like That's a little there's a guy says the love. Why castle burgers but hate their two teeny tiny, both what's esteem steam, burger family, oh here's, what one self described, not humongous, but a big guy White Cast Castle offended. He sued M under the Americans with disability acts as the seaport big enough. Couldn't he couldn't get himself in both
so I devoted to one and ninety five. Why castle fanny steaming mad about the fast food change which he says repeatedly broke promises to make the boughs and his local eater a bigger say he would go in their order that shit, food and then comply. And the reason is to undermine what in a way is actually right. It's like I'm gonna, let alone a fat people you gotta, have route etc entered beggar, have room for doubt. Expansion, as you just said, like being bags right with, like just a giant table covered, my meaning burgers Greece. Do I know people don't want to be fat and that type of thing, but like an I you know I go off on everybody. This park is believing trash women, like you, can't believe it's disgusting, the level that a trash woman I trash fat people, I trust bankers. I do all that shit on here, just fat people just you know you take a disappoint words. A disability you'd want to be like you fought in a fuckin war,
or Somethin gate, a box of fudging calls for some woman and on tv yesterday on Doktor drew seven hundred ninety pounds or something like that, either the Guinness Book World record holder for being the fattest woman on the plane. And she actually said that she was, I think, Maybe she's seven hundred pounds, she was six thirty and she was you like is, is a walrus. She was trying to get on Doktor Phil. She was trying to get on all the shows for to talk about her wait for help and nobody would, however, on so out of desperation that we called the Guinness Book of World records found out how far off she was from the record over eight so that she beat the record and now she's getting on other shells. She said ass. She admitted it talk about rewarding. You know
that behaviour rightly basically gained weight so that she could get on doktor fill and land at worked. That's like the fat version of how Kim Kardashian get famous exact year rather than go out and blow somebody on camera. In our she went out and ass. She went down ass, a devil dogs and thus at what somebody should have fell net you don't need. I gotta give it or you know she actually achieved a goal elicited every hour, she had a gull. She went forth so anyway, this guy is Bob Bob lie. He said there there's do the always orders the number two combo meal and he got an unpleasant surprise. Is he one of this one? They have stationary boots, I'm not a humongous, but I'm a big guy could not wedge myself in. I got to give this guy credit for saying, when she's at least admitting that he's a tub of shit right,
mortified. It had paid from smacking his knee into one of the tables. Support has been left out of the restaurant and later pending complaint to the corporate headquarters. How do I can respond? He said very condescending letters and then they added insult to injury in each letter was a coupon for three free hamburgers. But the cheese was extra. That's right, passiveaggressive essay! You need to go on a diet fatty. Yet I gotta eat what I feel, but then on alpine. Do you think it's a disability? You ve eaten yourself. HU, a disability, but like yeah knots, frivolous yet it that does you don't you you have you ever get fantasy wish? You were judge just for shit like that. You could just get that shit out of my courtroom. Oh, I absolutely do not like the guy that God, but although some of the prisoners, the coffee, spilled on their on her lap and Mcdonalds fourteen million dollars out about right. I burned up verbal sue, anybody for anything this country. What's this country common to not do they do that up their agenda? now. They don't take it on the chin. They just go to another
restaurant, where they are bigger, booths, joining as as a Canadian, the american dollar kind of going down a little bit after all the years that we ve made funded you're monopoly currency, and I thought that that type of stuff out miracles, we're arrogant, were like yeah keys, like we ve, never achieved anything in our personal lives, but were attached to something that's doing well. Well, now, I'm not happy about it because I live in America and yellow. I love this country has been good to me and I here and a work here and do you want to see a do well better, but is interesting, you notice to see that you know Cacena use. You steal! You gone the Canada my ever since I've been living here. I've gone to Canada when I why, when I first started my show on MTV canadian dollar, seventy five cents, those were seventy five cents now to dollar. Four ok before I'd gone under United I go to Starbucks, I pull out an american twenty I'd, buy my coffee and they give me twenty five dollars change. It was awesome they'd be PAN, yet a bother going at odds,
big MAC opinion to buy their stuff. I went up. It is the game, a hundred bucks, American, a guy like eighty something back job. So it's it's interesting, but it's it's nice to see that the canadian economies do and really well right. Now, that's cool Europe and for you, go to trot out their building everywhere in it, but it really kind of puts it in perspective of how things are poorly kind again bad down near you know it you make me want to get a gun young eating this crazy. I'm surprised you don't have one already are you a gun, guy growin up or not, not really no away. When I was twenty, not not easy, you guys all did that. I know it's ignorant at the wider aid hockey is shot. Caribou you'll live in the country in your farmer which a lotta Canadians are. But if you live in a city which I did it wasn't it's not that easy to get a good when you in the city, you can't just go by, went out of the trunk of a car or something like that, but So what will? I was twenty one? years old. I had this referendum friend
and I had this idea, that we really wanted to get a gun. I ve actually to see how hard it would be. Knowing that you know you can't just go by a gun, but it seldom at home depot. You know you can buy em, but you know you have yet we were catechise. Well, how much? How much is it got? How'd you get a gun, so We actually filled out all the paperwork unknown. We fellow the paper than you have to go the police station you have to submit a cats, that's my phone if to submit a your form that says you want to get a hunting license. Then he called by a police officer, they interview you, they ask you why you want to get this gun. We said we, Even if you want to get a rifle there, we were getting a rifle. Oh, you can't get a handgun, that's actually there's no way to get a handgun really endless, that's a much more were allow what what is it? What is what is the whereby twenty two's, if it's ok, if you get caught with a handgun in Canada, you know what what it? What is the the sentence that you get
what people have hand guns. But it's just it's your job. I think you have to be considered a collector there another. If you got it a legally you gotta legally, I mean you know. You'd, probably you now get in the same kind of trouble. The blacks Oberon got in for himself in the foot in the night club in New York in Alex. You know, you know it's not in the culture up there, I mean there's not that many people have them to begin with. So it's just not something that you think about that. That's amazing up data. You guys you don't really have that level of violence. Yet, if you lose in the finals guided out there is a danger in the last I take a rather they gonna burn down the did the city or- Coover people in Vancouver, pretty pretty crazy to begin with there. There is living in it in other that, flying about much real european eighties Van. What about those gay? They they won a series of what they are ex wife saying people meant goober when it comes to hockey are pretty crazy. Just like we all want a comes to hockey and I think, there's probably a pent up
anxiety up there, because you're not going out there and you know occasionally shooting people in things like this. You don't you haven't, you know, there's not you, don't really get your your yearning that out in that area and then now hockey gain and losing a hockey aim. Is the perfect excuse. You know it's because you guys is so good damn polite all this time. I think it was just builds out. It was a lot of young people who are too much to drink, and now you gotta had it like. A hockey is about as big as football baseball basket, a hockey and religion all combined in this area in the and Canada, its everything and so to get that close to. Winning the Stanley CUP and in Vancouver and of of Boston, take it away, Boston as our positive number! Thirty! If I'm coming, I'm not I'm Vancouver DEN Bos, then you get up timber. Thirty eight and it takes
Can we really well price tag twenty dollars and under and I am giving Tom Green Full five star, straw, across the board. Just like the the Enron views you got in the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, which is why the most prestigious comedy festivals, my listeners out there, the Edinburgh comedy vessels like three weeks over in Scotland, and that's no joke, it's slow, you who's, who a comedy and you that some of the best reviews there five stars- you don't just get five stars and scottish people, they don't laugh half those guys their funding, a few killed it out there, man, that's a major major rough weather in your comedy, had as they say, man sank. You're comedy had, as they say, thanks thanks, it was exciting, is greatly in there and- and I had a great time, it was- is pretty cool, despicable that sort of immersed yourself in that city. Have you been Edinburgh? yeah? I did. I did go to denigrate burned with a glass Glasgow, yet so I went to school to be over there in front of a completely different yeah thing.
I went out. I did it, I did a little quick Torah did want one night, London, either one night in Ireland, and I did one night in debt. Dublin and I did Glasgow, and I state a few days in scotland- and it was it- was off I like you know it's funny. Is I hate soccer in America, but when I go over to Europe, football is a car I immediately get into. It is just so hard to watch it in America, because people don't give a shit yeah. So it's so quiet when you're watching it, there's no excitement, but I even likes you know. Sometimes, if I'm bored, if I flip through and I stumble across Nose Premier League Games, I can't not watch it. You know what I mean sing in the size of satellite what happened in Vancouver right. It's it's! It's kind of fun to go to soccer game and, after breaks out riot breaks out nepalese cars get up around an answer as to though I do you think, if you guys look the gold medal game to the? U S in Vancouver think they would arrive at the Olympics.
I'll be enough of a cohesive people. Talk about that and how much of embarrassment that would have On the one hand, that would have been the first right. That would be the worst thing someone's those people get shot where there are another place, I don't know any. What history gas, Israel there was a real really in Germany was Munich, communicate Munich changes and they made a movie about that. It would have been like that. It would have been like that, but you know the canadian version without guns, I don't here, what happened as much there the Olympics there's a lot of. I think I think we were smart enough to know that there were no bad. I wanted us to beat. You guys just, because I know no matter how well well, we do. Canadians will always consider american hockey inferior, and I know it is because you know what started playing out here. I don't think. We think that when we think of Boston, Bruins or Detroit or some there really are a diplomat. I gotta give it to you very give ourselves some tickets in Boston, man
Others have done to do more than it has to do with trash in the country. On a whole, I was writing even it. How do I get to come out of my fancy very loyal? And if I tell somebody, then I'm an auto, our scientists ran into our motto, a senator Span and Phoenix Guy odious or my team. So they all you cite that they moved up to win a pig now Phoenix they moved me. I know it was was it was? the next move to an outline of what it was that I'd like to move to an hour of say when a peg move down the Phoenix Yuppie up there, you know kills me about Venus Cairo's. They have a nicer arena than the Boston, brilliance and original. Sixteen the Bruins went to home depot and they bought twenty thousand cinder blocks and they built a minute in a fucking square. It's it's just it's just a stadium, and I went to that. Coyotes. I don't know what it is. A bad character was awesome, but the worst name, Everts like job in centre, dot com, mocha, stated yeah. It's it's it's awful, but our rights, let let's get back to when talking about some comedy stuff, so you talkin about
Men and in an fuckin with people was, was just something that you really like, related to an idle The funniest bits I ever saw as far as man on the street the first time maybe I talk to you about this. Was that that one? You did well you out on the street. You somehow got that guy to hold that light fuel oil in you, wouldn't let him put it there any just a sense of urgency every time he would go to set this light down. Did you guys I've never seen you got out what it is it up on you to preserving, and probably you probably the type and hold the light. The lady called I'm not sure if it's on Youtube under that name, but that's what we call he just gets is random guy. He goes you do me a favor. Can you just hold this light? Is filming something just make some part of his camera crew. This guy's got stuff to do the whole time he's trying to leave. You keep this guy. Therefore, like fifty minutes finally he's just gone. I gotta go. I gotta go any setting the light down as is happening now. You just go no further than the lifts it back up
and he's gonna guiding every Germany would go to the sense of urgency that you He created this world that then even exist in the guy totally bought into like. If you actually wanted to use your skills for evil like you can really been like a con man that three card money- I don't know what, because you got you suck this dude so into your world, he just what Guy wanted to leave and you ve got this little stupid light all. Yes, there was set it down and back then, and I dont off its as much the case anymore. Back then your cameras, video Ambrose, were so rare. That was an early peace. That was something we shot way way before I was on MTV agenda. So you know the idea of somebody coming up to you with a camera and putting a microphone in your face and Nelson you're doing an interview where I was sort of very jarring for people and you could sort of men rise people a little bit with that right, didn't know how to respond better to sink. Now that everybody like half the fancy
actually make a movie and Eddie I'm on television. I dont want to look bad, did the and so are you know we had a lot of bits that really, it into that, like us, someone earlier today actually about this bit. Work Pooh on the microphone right. We dwell on MTV was spread dog crap on on the edge of her hand, a handheld MIKE and are going to interview people like a reporter, but do you know, of course, that, like us, under their nose in this giant, is right under their nose and asylum, Never that. I remember that now there was a new jersey. We shot that in their smelling the shit, but because the cameras in their face- and there being asked to serious question about PETE Sambre Sir arise on political question or something they they don't want to look like. They aren't intelligent and minor, say something I will act like they don't know what's going on, so they destroy the plow through it and ignore the fact that this peace shit right under the fifth and those what does
you- can't get away with not anymore the blow. If you were to do that kind of stuff nowadays, because I think now people they are so educated too. Being on camera and then also that the second son we just comes at an o er. The cameras, like all they're gonna, try to make me look like a tool. There is now you know that people are going to see it see back. Then. If somebody film do ok, the most stay with air would, and even in that, in the end they would mean maybe I'm an unlikely scenario. Would air and the local news right once and never be seen again now some comes up with a camera. It's gonna be on everybody's Facebook. All of your friends will see it it'll. It's it's on Google. Your names attached to everyone who you know will see it so forever forever. That's hills me, like you, think of some of the most embarrassing moments of childhood, like I think some of them. They still embarrass me. Thank God, like they were never film, like some of these kids like how do you
could come back like some of this stuff that that hamper dead moves? How do you make a comment from that? How will you not me like, like they gotta get some kids on their like they get? This one The that beat the crap out of the other kids, Australia and the one with the kid throws something the big fat kid throws something at the kid and the kid throws his estate cardboard out. Oh, I love that area that guy cries like woman like it sounded like dad that Whitney Houston songs, that's on that from a cavern Carson, remove its dislike no you caught em right as he was in that awkward age of where he was this size of an adult, yet still had the voice of an eight year old and is just there's no come back to that effect. I could play rugby for twenty years and he still gonna get shit.
Yeah now when he walks in a bar somebody just gotta bring it up about. That's that's the one thing that I actually have empathy for kids today, it's just like the most mortified mortified you could ever be, and it just going to hang with you. I get back in the days. Worry that your peril We're gonna show home movies to other how you gonna marry or something, and I would say they show it to those who live and think about how glad I am that they didn't have have all that when our parents were kids, you know imagine if you D seen your parents in these embarrassing post I shall be ass, would now be little respect. We would have for them, have had no control over us as our chilled will have no respect for us irregular. Let me ask you: how did you did you handle like fame? The first time it came around like that's? It that's a really weird thing to suddenly yeah you do in these little movies. You doing you're you're, you your show that the thing and then all of a sudden like it just explodes
I was a kid. You you're a very like its biogas listeners you you're you're, very intelligent very reserved. You know when you're not doing a thing. So was wondering how you handled like and then when we are going to say to you that crazy stuff up or down you have dug show them. I that can sometimes people think that you're like that offs age and the way that they approach you, oh it's Tom, I gotta be crazy, did did you, you must have got a ton of that. Oh yeah, I mean first of all, was complete, exciting news that basically, when MTV picked up the show was essentially this dream coming. True. I've been working on my shell for ten years and Canada basically trying to try to get out of my parents basement base night, and so was most exciting thing that could ever happen. You know well of son, you were on Letterman and going on, shows and died and day was amazing, but yeah! I was certainly a little
for welcoming at first to be done, but it but are totally positive, an exciting. How long did it take you to adjust to that? Just like, I think, the thing was the weirdest part about it was. Was you know, ass things progressed and you know of right in the middle of the show the show was. We know the tit show an MTV, ragout sick. I got cancer right, while all that happened right, my guts sucked in Dallas tabloid stuff, it was it was sort of, and it was the first time where I sensed any sort of negative stuff to illegal son, because the show was so big because I was you know talking about cancer, nine export. Why wives and all the stuff? You know slicked Ipsos, like I was sort of founding myself in a position where, suddenly I went from being this underdog kid with a public,
says, show that everyone's gotta see to somebody that was sort of defending himself. You tell her eye and it was. It happened so fast that I dont think I was able to really absorb and adjust to the new reality of were of what it was. So I had been this position where every time I went on a show I'd be like a maniac. You know I wasn't actually like the like you no more reserved, as you say, when was the last thing anybody would have referred to me as well as going on Leno and getting drunk and and and and the account becoming undressed is like it with a deer carcass on and dry J. I was desperately any freak out who's this. It is what is going on. This is crazy and then, and then all of a sudden, you sort of start getting a bit of a backlash from from just being, maybe just two
I haven't much fun having too much fun or something like that. You know I think it's. It is inevitable its inevitable. I'm trying to think as somebody suggesting that that was more of the thing that was our do just to suddenly gone. Oh wait a minute! I'm I've got to maybe a little bit more reserve now, because people are gonna say was that asshole potent dear carcass on and write what sort of an interesting thing? That's life? You know you know you sort of that's why I love lagoon, stand up. You get up on stage on stage for an hour, there's no buddies. Expecting you to be reserved neurons age with MIKE and let's go. I think it's a great way to to show that define who you are. I mean. Obviously, it's an enhanced version of Oh you are, but it's also. The great thing about stand up is like I don't know how these actors disorders, like you, know you book something in your book like their dream role and
and you're that guy, you know what I mean and that, but the great thing about standards. If your stand of comedian is after you leave the show, you think, can put out a stand up special and they get to see. In our view, being you was a comedian, as opposed to being at a rate, are really would have on the african Kara I'm excited about putting this down on television and and having Unama. My first stand up special recorded and available for people to see outside. People, the company out cause. You know you have an hour, you talk and talk about personal rights, there's no editing, there's no hiding behind any sort of writing or or story or character. Let's go see a guy who actually should be doing one doing one, because with the technology now there's so many people putting out spent, was that they are not really specials any more than just there. You know it's like I don't know it's it's just an unreal.
Level amount of, and I, when I started now masonic an old man here like half hour specials were given out to to a a lists radiance they pulled from their best. Our and now you know feature acts can get half hour. Specials and I know it's been Gooden awake as its cause, guys to write more and that type of thing, but I am really looking forward to see, and yours, like guy I'll, tell you a man like that that face Avram. I gotta remember a lot of stuff. I remembered how you we'd that stuff dying- what lie by our runic, as you use your specials common out, but I, like else acts I'm Amber thirtieth by was certainly very inspiring. My first time of the Montreal festival when it came to the shown you had some very nice things to say to me about it. After a note, the kind of woods when people do things like that, like like you did when you come out, you see ass thing above the people I had no Ireland it pushes forward so appreciate. I had no idea what you gonna do and it had everything it at this stage
and up, and then it had at that moment was when you spilled the water and you overly freaked out the worries and I started die and laughing and you're. So look like you haven't fund, that's a huge thanked for me when I'm watching comedians. I will tell the story about the. I saw this comedian Gary Valentine Kevin James brother. I saw him one night at the calm. The comedy seller in New York City knew his stern them the mid nineties. It was the total hang over of you know. You know Stana being on every channel, so the clubs redeem and it was, I don't know what the hell time of year it was all I know, is he went on stage in front of like six people in this club, and everyone is just dying and miserable death, and I remember he went up there and had the best fucking time and delivered his stand. He had like. These high energy and it shouldn't have worked. I should not work and forty six people, but when
there was no goofy and silly and just didn't, give should any when all out he was killing forty six people. I haven't seen you in that sense. I ve never seen it ever done, and I remember that this is certain It's where, like I learn, I learned stuff from men, and I remembered that was something that that stuck out me that if you go up there in your having fun- and you don't give a shit- right way like you don't go out there like. I don't give a shit fuck. These people are not given a Michel, but you just don't care. That is only six people. There I mean he was killing here. One lady had she had her head down on the table because it was so ridiculous how much it was so ridiculous. It was like you watching, a guy. Most by himself just go and fall out like as a comedian. He had made die love and that almost became, but I was also it was ass. If so, then I remembered like just no one: now I saw you up at Montreal was just like this. Guy is really having a good time and was eight people.
Monterrey and now you're huge up their manual jam, packed the place and it was like. You have a great time agenda and I can also tell right out of the gate to eat ass. He had no you'd evident stand before basic. This guy is either natural or but either way he's really taking this seriously in our committee We see a lot of guys who go from tv shows who then become stand like soap, stars and they'll. Just rape, people don't go out and famous and I'll go I'll know just take that money and maybe host the show with some real comedians and they go up there with their fucking scrubs on cuz. They put a doctor on the shelf and they ate their boss images rip people often do one little trip around the country, NEO everybody's money and then that's it. So I'm not saying I thought that, but I'm just saying it was it was. I didn't know what to expect. Honestly. When I went to this, the guy I've seen do sketches houses gonna, translate so Mercedes, zillion time September. Thirty, at that
I think I'm saying this like like this is actually like alive. Podcast, like people are just tuning at the September, thirty of Boston Mass at the Wilbur theatre. It's gonna be too shows, Tickets are red at twenty twenty dollars and below so definitely come out and check out his special any anything. As U s you, it's mentioning a speaking. Have your how she finally took the studio and everything out of their who did I do I did. I did my web show on Tom Green dot com on my website for five years, and I can't believe used to bring like fans of yours into your house. Amidst unbelief and not have not show that it wasn't me. I wasn't really open to the public role. Ok was we had. We actually had a couple of brokers really was more than I am. I know a bleachers and my living room. You ve been other. You ve seen the vandam. But let us live in those you didn't see literally had a tv studio in
living up. He had the desk. He added that the two chairs next to it, and then he had yet bleachers alike- lighting grid professional level cameras drum kid for a ban I want to combat drugs now there you can still play drums and to come up with great kid but I saw it was one I had so much fun doing it, but just I guess touring so much and getting them and getting that out of my system on the road and then, when I come home, it's kind of one of his. You lack light once and quiet absolutely. I did. Last night I was Workin down Largo you ve been down their gotta divert about it yet got God I drove by the thing. A million times is right down a Louisiana, and it's unbelievable theatres. Three hundred cedar come out near the oriental rug. Stare like a gear actually gonna be doing. Some sort of art is supposed to tell a dick jokes like me and like it was like. I've been wanting to be able to sell tickets out here forever,
she did. A couple shows out there made a little bit of money and the dream was always to sell outer shell kill, say thanks everybody and then get to drive home to my own plagues s. We out becomes afterwhile, take the dog out yeah, that's why it picking up dog shit like that was set up. Was the whole night. Go down, kill, get that rush and they go home and take my dog out and go to sleep away on bed. So I totally know what you mean mean: how much travelling did you do while, while you were doing the tv shows is as much as will grind it was I've always been envious of people who had a tv gig because its stationary. Well, when I was doing my show an empty audience of that, we did a fair amount of travelling. I've always been on the road cause. We we'd like to go out of the city and does go exploring fine. We writings in Rural America, in the middle of nowhere, and so we were always
and ended. Usually you know was it was more productive. If we get out on the road filming the bets cuss right here, may it be sort of invested in the whole crew would jump and Van, and we were couple bans when we're on MTV. We take off across Kentucky and we just film for a week. Come back with a lot of material. Now, I'm trying to think of a show that I saw that did what you did before him: ass aplenty plenty after like Jack S was a hard core version of it. You know they would mess with people not like see the stance they did was unique to the show, but how they would go out- and I would like you know, like one of my favorites- was when Johnny Knoxville had that. What because any one of the yoga class, who just like right right, I would be so embarrassed to do that, even though I knew her watching laughing. I don't I get this weird thing where I'm on stage, I know get embarrassed, but I can you know get stuff like that. I don't mess with people when I'm in public lesson like drunk at a game or something like that. But then you know I.
Like. I see a lot like a through line right through to bore out and all it type of stuff. Like that's all, goes back. I always I wasn t you're a candid camera and Letterman all they ago, yeah. So that's the leading edge is far as I call that goes. I always loved us. Real stuff. You know- and I also skateboarding videos you know. So I think the thing is, as you know one, but Before my shoulder, wasn't video cameras didn't exist right, so in order Make a tv show haven't ease and eightys. You know you're pretty much had to get a tv deal, so he had to go through a more traditional route. Yeah go Duke buddy and then get a tv deal and then get access to the cameras were here. We just went, got some cameras by and did what we thought was crazy, and so at that time you that was at the real watershed moment for the way television has changed, known and and and in a lot of ways. People say it has gone down hill now cause you know, it's not structured anymore. You know right, but you know
I think it's coming back, though, does have some sitcoms come back out. I'm fine and the dollar reality shows now are so structure, though there are structured as the honeymooners you know yet mean if I saw it it's all, as I say that in reality I added took a meeting. What time with a guy from one of those reality shows one of the senior ones where they just have. Like those you know all those flues ease and there the horrors right, and I asked them like how do you like to school about shooting that any goes? I gotta do just turn the camera. Zadig is not on, and I guess you know first why you keep em, you know liquor. It up was really see she keeps liquor it up and then you ll say like ok. I want you to fight with her. I got one if they say no because out and you got us and I cannot attend brides out their little fucking do and what was really Alex I fell suddenly gets Gaza confessing do a crime such I was s real housewives, Beverly closer ties. What they did with their lives, but that whole my girl watches those real Why so young girls are so fucking. Sad
you just seed and there I don't know what they did with their lives, but the whole thing will your fifty and you're still trying to look for Cambodia Yak in your face back and you should be like you should be beautiful. A mob. You know what I addressing elegant. You shouldn't be dressing like a twenty one year old. It just makes you look it's like the guy with the who pay! You know me, I'm still trying to wear a tank top and I put a sport code on you. I, like I, don't know this so in the weird thing is: if I don't off their truly who the hell's is at that that's yours, I thought it was package. It was even who's the newgate Hooker the those real was, is that there are not have their front in that the rich, but they look like their filthy, rich there their board and they got
sad laws. Look as their sitting in like hot tub in aspen. Now their husbands are committing suicide. You know I mean, like our early really are up in the ante in order to get ratings that he's gonna come back. So, but I'm ok, really killed of yourself and I fell off a cliff and come back with to park and the biggest show in the history of television. So what working? As far as the you don't stand up straight up now, It is there any tv, Moby, stuff tat. We know about something you gotta go in Isley, just ideas that I'm kind of trying to put together, but nothing that's on the immediate horizon, but I'll come back when we're ready to talk about it. You know and absolute again and as far as so once you take this thing right, get the bag and all that, then you need to be going to go out and start writing the new hours that is at the game plan. I'm looking forward to that. I'm looking for the last six months, I feel like okay, ivory,
figured out. What I want to do now with his well now: I'm refining, refining, refining it, but I'm sure, tired of refining it. Now it's like I just wanted to put it to rest and and and thence start fresh with you right where you and I see that you are right. We be well listen if you wanna work, if you wanna go hit some Rome's when you gonna put together, you knew our cause. Oh yeah, I'm gonna take one. The beginning par next year are still working on a date, but there's a couple things that I you know with each special as you go along. You try to do some a little different, so people are like. Did you say you shit? Yet our self? You wanted there's a bunch of theirs you're cool stuff, I got, I can recommend Largo Enough later had gotten. You gotta go down there and check that out, but I really want to thank you for coming down manna. I've been a human values and I'm really really looking forward. To see in your hour because I'm sorry over a year ago, so I can only imagine what you do and now, once again, for the final time, Tom Greens, first stand up, comedy specials gonna be take that tape
live at the guest not table. I live on tape, right that the Wilbur Theatre in Boston, Massachusetts to shows September thirtieth. Where can people go to work, Wilbur, theatre, duck, Wilbur Theatre affect Tom, green dot Kamel into an ethic ticket master to stick at so ticket mass you're. So please, friend of the Show Tom Green People, a Boston, stand up, get you pulls out there go to the God. Damn show this guy's gonna be great, that's the podcast for this we copy enjoyed it. I had a great time ear of expert with the time you guys have a good week. Don't take any shit, go fuck yourself, talk to you later
Transcript generated on 2020-03-08.