and tat s the twenty four september what's goin on his bill burn assigned for the monday morning podcast for monday they say podcast broadcast for monday september twenty fifth two thousand seventy what's going on how i what's up in back from my toronto canada in every once in a while every once in a long while i have a i have a guest and i always get good guests and this is no today is exception we have the great ebay esparza on here who as a welcome first of all what the army was so full legal philippe esparza phone what's more podcast let's get all the high point of the weight at first we got you have a new hbo special yes annuities bills bethoron so timid thirty eight in september we have to turn on hbo that's where the hbo specials are called translate this

so why let's get into a tell me about there was a light to shoot a our long special for hbo good i show myself i am that the money together i still have some money am i for now we only shows that all the improv we gotta go shires and down there without d i why you know sir do you sell van hbo liked it so much they bought it also we're doing you are thinking like always shit i'm doing this for your special or no work lonely overlooked and overlooks at amazon now that's that's a year great waited dinah fuck is nobody given you a shock you know why white like make i was before when i did this you know i always look up like a videos and all that type of stuff to make sure i got something to talk about so it doesn't become this like my big with these interviews his assistant become this horrific staring contest has of such a

huge fan of what you do and i had never seen the the irish feeling irish affair was house in the show this isn't happening you told the whole story about being in the gang and fight and the guy i knew zira and and your site like i was listening that that story of like this is like at least three different tarantino movies and they he you ended in just such a nice place i dont have force you to tell this story about if you could just re anatomy dark by wit where did you grow i grew up in a boil hides california in los angeles but hastily but you gotta oil hygiene or easterly is leg further east badge you knows by almost or to monterrey pike boil hides the neighbourhood when i am far away exactly been to put it in weight perspective how far ways out from the staple centre who before to walk

they'll take me that an hour now what are you gonna drive probably fifty minutes with eleven minutes ok cool it was right ok thirty minute bus ride so you grew up what ye or what decade your child of what you gaieties you're the ace of urban eighty so that was the real deal yeah but my neighbours i was in the house in projects people gardens and like three separate in progeny lisa village people only saw people gardens offers tree to lay sick street ok and it was like some men were like a shit load again like maybe eleven how did you know you're not a gang and you are a young kid how do you negotiate like i get yet from my house i get it pick up my fuck i will do my laundry i gotta go to school how do you negotiate is nah gangs twenty four seven oh yeah man the twenty than there were twenty four seven p m

i wish that they came out around five like anybody would like just live in the regular lifestyle goes to bed and then they just gonna give up this the area there and then those guys they can one and five there let the game that there are still living in a general find neighbour local minor data they make other cops on them oh yeah member most gagnon ovum echo partners they committed nightmare robin people really yeah they come out at night those guys where what were those judge vacation those gangs do around come at night and again by a different areas you know but there's still game banging little hand how old were you the first time you get mugged i moved down the first tat when i was late eighteen years old my friend cocoa that's pretty good man young outlawed eighty downtown crossing what i was like in a great i was like i was out setting craig my first day like that with a one hour ago rob saw my plan i have become a bag

another neighbouring might like in front of me and they took all my my crack away took me recorded and then what do you have to do a lot to go back to the girl gave it to me offered a man who i grew up with you know he passed away already had these i'm cocoa and we together him and i were rum from second gray to adults i needed money at the time of their somebody pregnant and know how to make money saw and for a job in the criminal business of cleaner rather know my name how does no doubt problems are avoided it's gonna want to sell drugs but i can't i have to now i get it had come and so help me so he gave me like a hundred dollars of of cracking of hungary to bring beg answer that i gave him or herself so as it is i got out didn't know who i was in the neighborhood the disk came around me any took almost ass they hurt me anything

beg for my kit tricky mighty and they re mighty highlighted how scared i was gear mad at other wanna kill me right there i wasn't i followed all young i was scared calm you know the leg just take him out you're taking me alone i thought i'd take it i don't fight on nothing could i know were killed me was tat meal worse so we're back to have read cocoa that's all it would happen what are you know you're gonna be ok man no it's all right for it happens address now ran man that night escalated like it was i who gave the crag corny midnight i go rather are worth thirty no more able back at his house what who wrote girls so what he gave me a gun gillian sense of rice agar himself a pistol put a blue handkerchief on its head put a black beanie on

and we both will look a little guys and you must been praying to guide like i want a murder somebody the first area about fair play the fight of guys while right there i would like a little but it would done anything you told me all vulnerable how is weak you know i know i didn't want to do so we went together and we saw one guy they saw what happened they didn't do anything in and are you gonna hit a real hard and who did it man worthy at then i said manawyddan here manner within him so they will him wait how did that is a world i visit guy member that i stand and watch me get arrived so now this poor ass to get dragged into with eager data doing like he's got a gun slap you know about my friend by further even have little question illegitimate up a hard man in that believe me there let you know just a wild man you looking at me like come on by please tell him i will let me see wait until after the piston slap

to tell you this it wasn't him so we got they happen to him and we went back again later on those guys who actually did it walk back give it back i everything goodbye to correct their guy and everything was because of what he has their sorry will know that they were afraid of that guy yes i really know back member with you get it we just street next year after that and they knew that you were with him so then people stop fucking with the growth of mesopotamia jesus christ this is what kills me about you is you have like a thousand of those stories in you're the most relaxed laid guy ever like where did it all go costume look at me i sound like i lived your life and you sound like you lived my life like you some you grew up in a nice little cul de sac area and played street ok i'm all fuckin wound up how did you do that what our model i have parents my mom and dad and

so my crazy further projects in other crazier ones didn't have a mom and dad dad nobody tell him you better come home earlier though eternal kids to come home in the lights go out on the streets there are really no by telling them what to do utterly right more discipline i have my mom and dad that work at my mouth my work better elementary school where they will be home from school crack when the street lights came on right yeah yeah that have always that family foundation but avoid but i never get that i just now you talking at home life we are telling you do doing all this other shoe though the kid you know what i was like starting to our fortunes old odin crazy oh all right i agree with the other house one pregnancy remember to do but although we think a little hustler man i am also able and i will collect the money for her you know so i learned how to collect money for people at least for my mom was selling herbal live a wine should always selling something

we live by the warehouses in downtown la with a bachelorette where are the trucks will come in and pick up stuff on the trains and take him to like stores so am i knew where leg waste oh do is one factory and we'll ways to worm put a bunch of their synthetic caught in the plastic one there were thrown away for a moment i will put him bags like hefty bags what to another place where what are these raggedy o sheets and they were milo saw those reggio sheets with the cotton anymore without a doubt door to door in the housing projects solemn pillows so you guys were real green family man you're there you the recycling that one of the reasons we boiler trash we slowly we pillows

i too would like for ten hours to walk to doubt i only knew with palates would you build a little house and then sell that nobody dares to my work i want we pass money can ash although that a bunch of factories where living i felt like i follow here we hear from good fellows right could they were always stealing from the airport and we always taken definitely factories are these days these batteries my friends were out stop on a trash like gum though there was a watermelon factory doorway rainwater matters and i will get the watermelons including where watermelon dictate they make waterman i bet you know that don't you groom know that they want to get up on a farmer i guess and the right they will hold them there they have passed its full a watermelon from today the grocery area downtown labour s the grocer i'll get solvency that others does flowers stereos you know you name it being out as i know

we think that suits you suits and other things that so we'll get the alone hang out and just go the dumpsters and whenever they threw out you would then go so here i will get there what am i have and will set it to the mexicans they laborers error by the workers in the factories what's your immigrants and almost other the have water manifold dollar two dollars five i'll just cut the rudder peace offer you know i mean only once in a while nobody's looking i will send my little homegirl this girl what should have been now but we don't know she was a lesbian now she was a tomboy i was sitting there with my brother and then there was like when they were too but it will look in your toe good water montana trash can do so when a mixture of good and bad watermelons how long did you stay in the whole world is selling crack and all in all those fights inviting a guy's ear off and all that shit before you became a comedian psychological i'll always appear to you though

appeared from eighteen years old to lay twenty one and have twenty one there are twenty one is when our leg messing up already man i was late i'm out smoking letter c p though drug of choice for the time being and to get our boys vc pc pierre like these elevated tranquilizer that's what you will tell me i always hear their that grown up tcp angel dust and allah actual angel like coming crystallized tcp the put in a cigarette but pc pier in my neighborhood we were at the pcb capital of los angeles level in my neighborhood they saw galleys of it people had to they would have a spark is water full of pcb everybody happy cb why am i doing just that you smoked in ljubljana i've given away secretive adam

not i shall tell you i'm asking because everybody tries to actually understand or no mamma booze man i don't know honey that's that you will get a newport cigarette over real men of cigarette newport you put you i'm leaving you did but instead of a low jar like gum yet the two but by the tipp of by that a dip he dipper again at ten if a whole one is twenty they know you you saw it is thirty dollars by debbie no i get it that's like when i drink boost is likely to hang around shit yeah you're only up to twenty five and get into the cognac and they can be like and our lack of wines and should be like a century or older some so there's one night a pc play just because i'm stupid it's how comes it so what is it what's that high like our man is lacking the incredible hulk if somebody attacks you out this is a shit when like five cobb sharp negotiated i've more justly their child browser movie theirs

three when one why boy like us therefore have been unease fighting other police officers keys on pcb agri watch that yeah busy big you dig you have on later incredible whole strength but you just have let you don't feel pain but while we were hidden you measure you could just keep attacking forever you know i mean right and then the next morning you wake up and you feel like you played twelve years in the nfl yeah man so the first time you smoke pc p and that should hit shoe it cycling like you turn it into like a superhero yeah man what did want i wouldn't do did you try to bend something now that's what i want to talk cops that's that's what i would have done i will try to pull something of the balkan war a bit together rona well the one i would lay walking around that people are becoming to be known that man you know he's crazy which offer here why do they call you why do they call you back

bad men and lays to wear my might though them above superhero andrews and eighteen am i do it well about measures to offence i worry i don't know where to go about measured anywhere else was the under whose factory right down the street he took it out of the dance to the bad projects it's amazing i'd see though and all that watching them driving theatre with my friends smoking tcp watching terminator too asking why i'd say i'd fight that guy yeah man let alone the animal to gather early at me for the last two weeks so i go away if you smoke that she say a guy views i've progression do this on my door and commercially here for the drug saying there's somebody bali you knew you can't beat that guy right if you were to smoke some p p c p actually we give you the belief but kennedy

overcome how slow you on your inability to slip a punch you not you just walk through is shit yeah man you're throwing punch because when that when that get into a fight with his guide our they told me i was doing things though remember doing they told me that my bout of whipping i'm all over the united when we keep allude to the story you gotta tell a story right senora that man you got on your under bruce you smoke pc the drive and he said the terminator to one left the terminator to movie combat the project can i see these guy that italy like an old dude may that thirty years old he just when a prison you don't know who i am they call me bad names and down she may and pushing me i'm gonna wanna bite on pushing me if i saw them in a phase but i can amazed they hit me right in the eye and he hit me hard and my eyes are black right away he punched me in the face i started bleeding these are a choking me so don't give me that when i like i was crazy

i want a crazy man i live drop doom video bit his deal first the viability of a billion euro about the whole global retire brother lobbyists is when you bit his ear off we will underneath you on top of him neither fuel choking me and you just outside their tcp calculated manner that mass guineas solos either bite off and yellow eyes eddying crochet out i've known that neither man i've been out punched him and tommy that point what did he do so the hits like a soldier so when you benazir off this guy seal ring out he's he's agreement like a little girl ok give in vain so actually kind of screaming like a guy got his ear but often look at that point i think you're still a man refused if you a few octaves when you miss and if i can hear but i don't know why i believe europe may land nor i get there no choice you know he was choking me sounded like tat was the move level and helping me

he wasn't didn't seem like he was going to be stopping i see you beat then you took your belt off and you were my friends told me that i took it my belt off and i thought it whipping him like you're like chasing own about whipping alexei like he would like all run away property or something and how many people are witnessing the satellites while fifteen people but there are other cheer me on soon hear mine about helping dynamic hit that would get like nowadays if they do that would that might be like sylvie ethic tcp guy epic belt guy could be something like that i would have been a rather son out of tune batman were rubia so white and so when you so you don't remember doing that so there was like us this guy's gonna kill me then you our debate is here i feel while years come off really easily and you sort of black out and then will you just sort of came to with like blood all over you go unlike

but i do see a hot dog or some together make idea with the next day and walking around is like tat seven a morning eight in the morning i don't know man i'm looking to my body is full of blood paths my face no my black guy my shirt is full of blood i have no idea what happened i have no idea what happened he probably thought it was your blood while really chickens i shot or stab ice i didn't know firstly what happened in the guy was in a hot did he wants the hospital for life who can ribs you're missing ear you know wages but he is born on i am they went to heal lying in bed and they asked them if you want to press charges could thereby know those witnesses ever know who did it he said no we're gonna handle the right way

lady would not know there's until later i like a week later yeah man at dinner go green light on you right now like relay what you may relate yeah man shoot to kill they see you what the fuck that's the first time ever heard that so now we're now what do you do besides not go outside do they know where you live they know where i live but i don't know he stood up i've put other but everything's caught me nobody he's doing a hospitable your attention from people boy who at that i for one time who looked like where do you know returning on me like a cloud over their gang other another again when you the wire do like fall asleep is it like boring to you because we want the wire you don't need to your limit sometimes sounds like it an award winning series to me or more blood and blood out so payment so now now there's a green light on you yeah at some point you gotta go outside to give food does your hungry yes

i would like it when you have a green light on you in in eastern lay what's a good time to go out to if you gotta go hit the mayfair market or whatever what's that thing to go to do right when you have a green light and indeed from anybody you know what whether they come from prison or recover i'm just the neighbourhood is just relief man more somewhere safe like modesto what what's a more serious green light if it came from prisoner from the neighborhood of the ethic of imprisoned you're there man i'm either nor to go they know where to go man i am i read about these things you know on television books there's no way coming back from that but they would not only like a green light from his neighborhood you know let's go to the mall nor like the grove pick a really white mall and we know what are those to my mind that timely man i was over like the french for isabel air

a rich y got into a bridge why go which argued mexican guy on our way they were worried that show that was different strokes those differs from german they switched it up they like it still strokes the marathon allowed in right now yeah that's what they owe their they always do it you saw mom called our father gregg boil he's like this priest tat i grew up with a neighborhood he's from door homeboy industries here that's a thing young house he observed game members call me a great boil you'd like a priest from a neighborhood adam he though it helped the neighbourhood like he will go a long way to help people who would like if you like these are thriving and then you like he will pick up kids there were jerk off the streets and take them all he did it the time for me in a good way in a good way yet lack of euro gay member in the wrong neighbourhood and didn't you know you're pretty much someone

i'll kill you in tat neighborhood further way boy would tell you getting a ban i want you back home as as a gang member how do you end up in the wrong about other than a woman man i'm peace b goddamn pleasing to you know there's no heroin your neighbor those familiar by her away somewhere hours no crack in the neighborhood you know there's a dry spells somewhere and you're gonna get high sea let it go to another neighbourhood and by it and so how do they know you're in a different gang you knock over their wearing your whole yogi argue colors rather the motor though i could give members they were the causes mandated they met and if that were not colored boy a cover forty four seven but with a one hour than we were one of those guys i will not now just a guy who would you hanging around with these kids they won t i get jumped into a gang and i'm getting oh so much trouble by noise to get beaten into a gang

just in case i ever fuck my life up and i go to prison in all right go to prison my only hope is i gotta join the area nazi guys listen with abortion but and i believe it to save myself how long is that peter woe and in the streets it ever be like i guess whatever number the gang is of an atheist radiating it beautiful eighteen seconds that's it yeah but i mean how many guys are all of em i'll jesus ok fucked look i strike the that's it from the record there when i got job then i'll just hang you now a man like i would you thank you now and he's dead i'm a man you wanna get jumped in and i was going to say no if i say no i'm a punk ammonia jumped in among java bein a plug so i said can you do it put the guy lakes to me for no reason why because when approved that i'm i'm i'm turf so the guy next to my just knocked him only one punch man and

i hear that you are looking to see let's do this then i hit on brain over we really big dog look out only there's a war and sat mom epa on a swivel nearby betty give the other guys shit later let go next emigrant jump somebody did you not say what have sit right next to you knew he was lefty what the fuck you get beat up and joe by everybody let those you get one in and do did you get more than one and you get one i've got to one him in another guy but then after that i felt i got nike cortex all over my face so you just lay on the ground he's got one is it be too which is waiting for these reign of of foot locker to stop coming down on you you would like they're gonna stop man so what i did i would just other lilies diana had enough the noble hugged me the same people there were beating my brains were hug me kill me you i love you

you my boy my family now and then a wow so then you come out ok and then you just sit there right with sneaker mugs all over you and you go like ok now i guess i'm a gang jesus christ okay so then what happens after it happy with hang around you know in white people talk about why privilege go to what the fuck is that this is what it is that all sit there sellen lemonade at the any driveway our accidently did i just joined again there was a green light on you you were selling lemonade and at the end of the rug drive with no neuro new road ok was dumb but you know that there were two why boys in my neighborhood there were gangs was one the red headed kid from children corn exactly was worth while one guy he was blood i vow guy he was from stella

snow man economy those there though that two white boy fiat offensive by the way but continued those two why boys another man and they were ballgame bankers and what the about why boy follows like see a white boy join a gang and when you see guy like someone like you and you hanging around madeira mexicans there why why guys are the most crazy is gangsters whenever an american gang they do that looking man would never think of like i remember that one white guy slow man he was a blood he said let's go to a home invasion and that nobody will ask you know where he got my mom house we wanted a home game you what do you want to open our homes to rob his house could he wanted mom and dad you rob why because our loyal man they're probably saint stop hanging out with all those mexicans probably met earlier now

a day so they probably behave that way because they they felt no matter what did they dare to constantly proof constantly man technically they could let's get a haircut would have put away the flannel and just slip boy slip away down the grove civil war become a social work and that it be it so how long were you in this game for did you ever get beaten up nor within this gradual where now father way but when they got thereof i want to rehab my father boil term into rehab and am i disappear for i'm still god back back when you get beat not of a gang how how long is that peter i love they want to i know what we have had a guy in a pot gas named fabian who in a gang and he talked about he got beat beat out he got jumped out any said that when you got judges that longer but

his uncle is doing the gang simple expression busy on costs it is doing a gang so his uncle over saw him getting jumped out so hearing double i have another party will get killed avoided don't tell him when i was twenty another white version that is our dead the judge so we don't go to jail whatever the fuck just at your version is that you get an uncle that overseas being jumped out i've got tattooed on learning all kinds of stuff like i want my case someone just walk and by somebody's recorded so he's fills where they have to like red pipes that's all you're special on hbo you shot yourself learning all of your do it yourself stuff from i can go around of those warehouses make pillows out of nothing you ended up shoot me said the improvin sam say which is one of my favorite claim that a grey club we are failing to do in a theater out even though its clubs tremendous

and are you shot at there's gonna be on hbo september thirtyth at ten o clock called translate this now are you i know you're a great joke right oh but you i saw an irish affairs you told that need told the amazing story that you you touched on today is just in a style on this more joke telling more storytelling or both of you know what my mind comedy special it's more about it's more about how i got to this country when my parents and venus a single father cheater but gender love god she had cheating item on bad i can't help it i love women a terrible getting caught cheating goes out cheating in all bird boy the girl should to my house oh god earlier in a man it was crazy and they have no way

save yourself how made how long was i'd be done zella ten seconds it was crazy they generally same what are what's it to all they they talked each year on how they filming shit then you go in there and then you go do i can apology or knowledge the first forty eight year while ok are you gonna do it i can't wait to see this but our mission i really honestly do as a stand up community i cannot wait to see this thank you wanna most interesting dudes how are you so fuckin happy go lucky i dont get i don't know my dear love life you know i'm never never gonna go back to that urban life though that i had my twenties and much of lovely we live man and i want to say that i'm perfect because i did fall out though i was well through our when a rehab our soul or for eleven years later i didn t know drugs i don't trust alcohol no beer nothin but

along the way nor that the more these tenno calmly the more you know i did it not going nowhere to smoking crack he went right back crack do you never really were a booze gaia now supervision both my studies they do it's like about our ralphie may retweeted my tweet the other night and now there were men at first because building then tweeted watch out for low spoons grow and what the hell is roughly we're talking about them spools then they all shared berger i got so it's called out in now houston texas i all they had known for that day i couldn't do no more cold coming knows you're bleeding so i why a rocket up smoking crack is tat you know when are you just like i'm just gonna snort a couple lines the why did you you anticipate likely you like

factors when i got a few sermon a party or it was was it just a spontaneous thing and always said you just said fuck it matches i was over there our working the laptop in houston shut to peat overbooking me peace and often the last up i've got a third party man i started party name i could have no powder no coke so i'll be home i'm italian they're back i close odious your deal you know about earlier columnist exit avant garde saga what parliament's example you fucking good oh i know somebody zone i knew he knew somebody another we will talk to the comedian so us both comedian and then on these little mescal full showed up all week

take care of me again take it everyday thank you i don't know what happened man but i did my colleague and that our life i can do no more co do my nose so do i go bad i want us crack now you know what i mean i don't know dig alone burgers now current story with you is i don't know what happened it's time you didn't know what happened you a weapon somebody with a belt now you don't know what happened is like a fuckin hole in your nose jesus to work longer hours is this with them two thousand and six are rightly i'll kill other seven broke erected you're gonna difficult balance of ireland to levin yoga i call a bum room service where small crack emily collar room service another room service i'm gonna need some big spoon and bacon sought out brought over right now and they did not that's all right a man they did too i brought it

the governor front there he knew me because i'm a friends with him already from previous times and he brought it like a big spoke anybody armand hammer bakings order and the guy with him he just was with him to laugh at me i guess i guess i couldn't believe it discourages order beg you saw it bore no way that was the liberal group open a door i lay ahead you are to be labelled laugh but yeah man i wanted to smoke grech okay so and then and then how long were you off the wagon for from when okay so you're sober for eleven years you go to houston you order a spoon and some baking soda now you snort coke now you're smoking it i got you party that weekend did you just come back and go with the fuck was that and we were able to

we have no man i continue party man from that moment on and the girl with mansion there being a hermaphrodite without another story for another time you know but yeah sure martha date sure i'll boy would appear the vagina right like how i wish your girlfriend before he figured out what we report three you must be a gentleman yes that's what i was i wouldn't want to torture or european because chaperone recalled when it can be that guy so i just kids to a couple of times but there by the third night we were offered three nitrate her and i but when i i found out i lay wool man yeah so big skin tat so it was that and so was enough to get you sober again norman adding a sober again to do you deny that stops at all right now we're still go on having a story

today the name i'll fuck i was in you already do so during those parents you still don't stand up and you won't you out we stand up i would even are even now go to montreal a comedy festival two dozen five and i was bad adele the young community show em i did well i guess i did well i got a little i hope on the hollywood the porter agent you two years actually there they don't have any idea you were high no man i was i was walking craig in montreal too i looked at me i found material funny i saw a mexican guy in montreal and a new he spoke spanish i told him in how did you tell just could tell me he had the boots that locally our job you know if you know that means it's a letter he had the boots

do i look like i just got here cross country so spoke spanish both banished no english but will you know that i speak french now but with them again you know makes it get access all romantic languages are the pillars adorable wall to give back romance language again pope crag aright told you are i can talk to you for like fuckin ten hours and you just don't run out it's amazing men i dont have thank god you're still here i saw where now that i know but all this stuff you ve done you know like realistically you we could have died in eighty percent of the stories you just i'm lao alive yeah i to make as i think you're a fucking amazing comedian aunt person i'm site that you're on things comedy podcast network with the what's up for podcast i wish you nothing but the best with the euro

you stand especial hbo saturday september thirtieth set your dvr what other kids do now you cord cutters whatever you do too fuckin see this thing more success to you and now stay out of houston i will serve bull now right thankfully pay the bill were belabour are right that was philippe esparza manic fuckin guys amazing please check out a special just said all that shit i gotta do my reads here and i'm on talk level and i felt football maybe answer a couple of questions fill out at this hour here all right our first i jesus look who's back it's all zip growed up talk about the challenge of finding i'm not doing that was sip recruiter you can post your job to one hundred percent one hundred plus job sites with just one click then powerful technology efficiently matches the right people to you

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you stamps our common i'm a moron if i can figure it out so can you right now you too can enjoy the stamps are calm service with special offer that includes a forward trial plus postage anna digital scale without long term commitments go to stamp star com i click on the mike foreign stop the homepage and type in burma that stamps dotcom enter burwell more time high stamps our camp never go to the post office again i right that's it ok stomach is ground here still on my fuckin diet or billy diet so fuckin asshole sent me a twig own like you obsessed with your fuckin wait you look line get help it's like don't that's why i look fine you fuckin moron you don't give a shit you potato skins fat fuck these guys with the thick fuckin torsos you don't making that noise when you reach back to get the seat belt trying to pull it around you run and material i dont want to be that guy you don't mean that guy gets kid

by his airbag because his fat faces too close to the text miniature explosion anyways all things comedy festival by the way podcast festival october twenty six twenty seven twenty eight twenty nine in phoenix ticket links at bilbil dot com by the way i am going to do my first ever live monday morning podcast there at the stand up life comedy club i'm gonna do it live although alive and i'm gonna do it just how i do my fuckin house all right i thought about gettin a guest and i was like fuck that that's not the charm of what it is that i do not understand it

i don't know what i'll lay down on the stage i don't know what the fuck i'm going to do what i'm going to do it the exact way i do so if you ever want to see this shit life this absolute trainwreck if you wanted to see what it look like in real time come on down to the stand up live comedy club in phoenix arizona october 28th i will be there i don't know when tickets go on sale i guess they're on sales now their own ticket linkswear billburr dot com all right anyway socks him nfl football went back but bad bodo baby did you guys in june did your team when my team one do knowing and patriots who everybody said was gonna go undefeated and then we lost to the kansas city chiefs and then everybody said oh wait a minute wait a minute i tom brady is old now i think he's washed up i think the key it's a city chiefs are gonna win their first superbowl since nineteen seventy that what everybody said because the kansas city chiefs beat the knowing what patriots in september now

all of a sudden i can see january how fuckin crazy is that how many fuck time so we times you gonna watch the giants go over to and only three and just start right now i'm off you saw the points they scored aren't you think then i can come back and beat philly then i'm going to come i can be dallas later on this fucking year when they all get on the same page they were protecting eli much better according the thirty seconds a highlights that i saw i'm stick a bomb prediction new england patriots new york giant superbowl rematch aright until the kansas city chiefs who actually like until andy red who i'm not saying these fat until those fuckers something in january a right i they call you need to sit down a little bit fuckin relax with all your shit talk and how many fuckin guy you seen throw four five hundred yards in the regular season and get bounced out in the first round of the place how many times did you see it

can guys zigzagging all over the field you can't tackling and come play off time he sit not a fuckin exercise bike where an attentive when shield crossed his eyes the incredible lack of fuckin respect that you gave our little quarterback that could tom brady how dare you how dare you write off the doings of patriots after one fuckin weak half it's all wishful thinking were common again hey we're going to take your hearts out and we're going to pull them out of your chest we're going to show him to you and then we're going to under inflated on our way to another fucking actually never got caught doing that they just suggested that we did it and it got laughed out of court and then do i really need to address these stupid controversy of the fuckin people taking a knee during the national anthem you dont watching all these white people getting fuckin upset by that like real does it really affect your fucking life and all these fuckin it's trying to make the point of

but they're doing it's not about your point the people start this thing it's about my point is about the way that i see it you know body mongolia these fuckin guys you make a million dollars you know he take is bad here why did you go fuck a move to syria it's like why do they have to move like they just livia the way you do i dont this stand that dumb but donald trump is a fucking genius that he has everybody talks about this issue because he is trying to get everybody to stop focusing on the poor party he had with fuckin at a mere what's his face over there in russia he doesn't don't you watch in that he goes look at this over here right goes down to alabama gets all limb fog and people all riled up and it keeps talking about this fatty for an fuckin north korea that's what he's doing it reminds me of wine fuckin slick willie you know bob

country because he stuck his cigar and that woman's another region this is the type of sick people that become president this is what they do all right they get caught doing so up shit and then i will say this about promptly stating go bombs and people unlike what's his face with his big chance who nuggets treated like a fuckin hero i dont understand that guide all you don't mean the lawyers guy got car get monday exact and the all rob saw a bomb the country i'm not a killed the baby but i sleep lack won't ever not i know i'm a conspiracy theory i fuckin hit him or did you see that thing what's his face in fucking korea considered that we declared war

all right so maggie megan hall whatever fuckin amos maggie juvenile what is afforded the fuckin the poor woman who has to go out and fuck and give the press conferences now because i do with no neck you know who can it looks like the political version of roderick adele went out there in fact it all up they also named she's gonna classic political me i don't know what the hell it is she said the fact that north korea thinks it where it worth them is absolutely preposterous sup like that and the like a week before what's his face trump basically tweeted like that that fatty over there wasn't long for this earth and you psyche just said he's not gonna last

he's not gonna be around long that's what he said i mean i would take that as a threat or have a dash for us have a dish you what they really need to do they both did you just go to a whorehouse together and fuck and grow up you know bang a couple a horse they need to do a threesome bright one of his get blown the others hidden doggie style despite their eyes meat they just start laughing believes the great life right you got a personal chef to advocate a maze you live in a castle living

the estimates for its scope there's you just talk about euro trade stories away comedians trade stories about bombing they could just talk about fuckin bomb in other countries and i dont know what fish but never would have a people that level talk about our it let's get to the questions for this week so i don't have any fuckin problem with these these guys taken any i try to listen to what it's about rather linking wrapped up in what what what it means to me i'll write pharmacists writing in dear billy bag chaser north that meets by the way people thirty nine days sober thirty nine fuckin days this this is how well i'm doing with my sobriety i when i flew to canada i went by this duty free and this this maccallum rare cas think that this new one black oak or some shit like that as like i'm gonna buy that ok

i'm not going to take it to fucking canada and suck it down like a fucking jackass i'm just going to have this thing waiting for me you know what i mean for whenever i fall off the wagon so this is like what i was thinking the whole ride it and like you know i'm getting off the plane i'm trying to beat the crowd to get over to the taxi line cuz i don't fucken uber i never remember to set up a car so i would go to the fucking taxi line what's grated lax is does never anybody there cuz nobody fucking takes a taxi if he's got a friend to pick them up i don't know what the fuck to do this and so i dont even try to be first remind the cab stand i go out of my way over this duty free place and i grab this fuckin thing you know and i should like to bring it up to the car and the lady goes oh my god she goes fuckin what a wonderful choice and blah blah blah blah blah you have great taste i am ago on the wagon when i come off this is the bottom opening up she goes you go into canada i see

nope i'm going home and she goes ah i'm sorry i can't sell you this alike not because you have to be going to canada summit about the duty free to make its legal though do they sell this anywhere else in the airport if you just going back to your home they like no no we don't so so i got a fuckin his if i had a fuckin here see fit i to his he fits one of the way there going through canadian customs when they made me take the line green plastic cover off my fuckin laptop i somehow had a bomb in there were some sort of bomb residue and obliterated you're not going i'm gonna crack this thing and they go well just try to take it off easily like what you look like fuckin howdy dodi what what what i'm in this matrix i like what's going on tell me what you want me to do the fuck so they make me take that fuckin thing off ended up crack in the cover some areas

bad mood so rather than you know growin up in realising that these fuckin people at the dead was it did to tc eight tcp what have pocketed gayer tee i want is a cul de sac the fuck can t say right then just realising these people are trying to protect me which i don't think they're trying to do a thing to try to make it is inconvenient is fuckin possible so greed have my fuckin redness scan so they can share that fuckin information and gradually build a fuckin rob i saw this fuckin headphone back yeah that's all i wanted was a bottle abuse that's all i wanted and they would sell it to me they would sell it so i went online off a figure out a fuckin place to get artless let's do the little right in here pharmacist writing in dear bill bag chaser your rant on farmers since last week was hilarious we have to be

able to laugh at ourselves right i just wanted to way and on a couple of things first off the medication you were prescribed the anti inflammatory drug you received was in the north still royal anti inflammatory drug class out of do you know you don't look at it maybe you just be i know that entailed by the way is talking about honesty basically these drugs decrease the formation of prostate julian dunes throng backs named those chemicals are involved in the inflammation process which itself causes pain so these drugs can't just decrease inflammation without also decreasing pain thus being labelled a painkiller oh ok and said are not in the opium family ok are not happy forever forming i dont know what disguised talking about what it sounds like he's blowing my argument out of the water however it they can be very dangerous in susceptible populations why

just say with attics susceptible whole populations you guys are such fuckin creeps and that world and aids and ass ideas and sheds increase the of cardiac events kidney damage in stomach since august i recovered attics usually in the elderly or those with pre existing conditions i'm not sure what the other drug do you receive was if it was a narcotic opioid painkiller and the doctor and pharmacist did not discuss it with you they would be negligible on their part since when since when i want to know now that the yeah the fuckin heroin epidemic is completely out of control data of ohio is suing pharmaceutical companies i guarantee agri

four years ago and the dangers of narcotics was extremely stressed now all the medical bodies are communicating the dangers of narcotics to practitioners and overseeing that prescribing is done appropriately and maybe this is just the fuckin it's just how we are like when we first they first said that ddt and they spread all over the place and this is like great we just ended all these plagues and then we did all this damage to the environment we created fucking window that is starting to close i feel where was this golden age of not having to walk around with a fucking boil on your face and dying of the black plague and we just got a little out of control with which would have been great is if we

eradicated all of these different diseases if we somehow didn't grow the population i feel like that's the sweet spot i feel it that's what the fuckin illuminati should be discussing is like what is the optimal number of people including ourselves of course who should be allowed to survive while we keep all the modern day technologies so we can still of this awesome flat screen life with no plagues bought like we also can still sustain like living on this fuckin planet what is that thing what is what is that number and they're not taken college cosette fuckin closed entity are only read a few more these while i'm a samurai up to this point eighteen minutes plus thirty seven

is fifty five aren't so arrogant gold money dot com dear billy copper nuts i urge you talk about gold money dot com on your part monday morning podcast whereby emailed you about it then explained very well i feel like all these are just like free commercials i haven't put any money into it yet but now i'm going to speak about it as an authority i am considering it as it seems pretty legit if you listen arrogance part ass with peter shift he explains it pretty wealth and makes a good pitch yet guide stands the prophet off granted shift admits that he invested money in the company s so he's out he's out i want an independent fuckin to eta i can even find any more evidently they sell you the gold a low market price half of one percent i think what do you mean hat half of one percent of what that just sort of a number float not there right

stored for you in a vault of your choosing your name on it if you want it they will actually male your gold to you for free minimum of like five grams or something you also get a mastercard debit card that you can use to spend your gold slash money evidently you can use you can even get a debit that is made of real gold which sounds fuckin bawler the fur reserving powers that may be never let it work but it seems like a great idea at least thanks and go fuck yourself you it's a bunch of great ideas yom all set on that you give me your cash and will put it in gold in a vault that you choose that's not where you can see it are dating saudi arabia not maybe better i'd it sounds like even if they're they're mine

is in the right place it's going to go belly up and then they're all going to write them self bonus checks off your gold that's what i would guess what happened or the federal reserve will come and say this is all legal and take all the gold and then act like it's in fort knox when it's really fucking i don't know i don't know what the fuck it is summer in the its dating in saudi arabia hey they're billy pipe billy too i make your hope you're having a great day anyways i wanted your advice on this problematic shit that i'm stuck in i met this lady through a common friend of ours oh god we talk this is nothing to get messy when you break up with her and you can lose her and her friend she's really cool person we got a lot of things in common than we met again twice as a friend and now i want to ask her out but here's the thing she is it option and i'm indian and we

live in saudi arabia arabia and dating is illegal here what the fuck did you go out with her for now your heart's going to cause you to get your fucking when i do if that beat your feet to square they're going to fucking slap your dick in public or somethin whatever the punishment is over there i made the authority can report you immediately or worse send you to jail for years now really like this girl more than you afraid of all right now i really like this girl and i like you know do you love this girl and i've already thought of of names right kids before she even said yes to me but i'm really stocked on thinking through my brain ok this a second language sherman try to help the saudi formerly stuck europe which i think through my brain through my dick should i know we'll do none of that is your heart so you should just leave should i ask her out and hope

for a whole nother level problems also just shut the fuck up any advice ruse we appreciate the park yes i love you as a brother go fuck yourself there's not a woman or a man out their worth going to fuck in prison saudi arabia i know better presents our view i dont know what they're like over there you guys gonna oil money although did run into the sky from saudi arabia whose laugh in his s off me go to we don't we dont all have oil money as a secondary enough this oilmen over here i don't have any money yet would walk away from the ship it's fuckin a go you could go to jail yet deported you don't owe me and even if you love somebody they gonna nor the shit out of you so i mean is that worth going to jail for you is it illegal just banger but if your lover i don't know i don't i would i would get out of it i get out of it

are a great movie seen unknown actor aright oh yeah i was talking about this is the this is a new topic here for i was talking about actors that you saw just like five lines at a fuckin movie and they absolutely destroyed it and you a friend still quote them you don't even know their fuckin aims i brought it that guy last week the guy from pop reservoir dogs the guy and you know when tim rots character is or does it is in the fuckin bathroom not cops tell my story i said buddy i'm gonna shoot you in the face you know put your and he has a dash for love that got so here goes one of my favorite scenes with an unknown actor was kill bill to bills brother but i wish i need to see these movies to do this justice i mean i saw this but i don't remember it she she wore the same outfit that fuckin yellow outfit both movies did she do

brother but is working as about surrender run down strict club he shows up late for work gets called into his bosses off his boss larry gomes is played by actors bishop and he looks like half a wolf man after doing a line of blow with a haggard looking stripper i vaguely member this he levels his gaze at buzz and bud and says i dont know what car wash you worked before you came here they let you straw in twenty minutes late but it was an old by view of what it wasn't on by me and i own a fuckin car wash i just butchered that line why can't we i realized that i need glasses and i have slight dyslexia like i was trying to rights

walk today and i knew all the letters i just could not remember such training member what squawking seventy seven hundred versus seventy five hundred i would get those two mixed up with that's an emergency planning or a fuckin hijacking i was his one stay alive and the other is fuckin go to heaven all right side that i remembered semi five stay alive seventy seven go to heaven alright seventy five is hijacking seventy seven is emergency semi six need affixed meet you fuckin radios up this does mean anything i dont know what car wash you worked before you came here they let you stroll in twenty minutes late but it wasn't owned by me and i own a fuckin car wash day you got that was a good fuckin read it makes you wanna go see that movie so he then proceeded to give this world class assassin a humiliating dress down telling him is useless as an asshole on his elbow and crossing off all is scheduled work days on the calendar he finished by telling him

whereas cowboy had to work and has an cleaned clogged on his way out all bud can do we stand and take it i hope you seen this great movie if not it's worth the watch thanks go fuck yourself i'm gonna go watch it again i think i'm gonna think this bit is gonna make people go see these core movies again in its also gonna make everybody laugh at how bad i can't fuckin read out loud i feel my budget line in a comedy ever might be from blazing saddles delivered by slim pickens he rides the same whereas workers are singing camped is it camperdown races i wish those camp camp town races and said what no wide wide world a sport is going on here i heard you people to try to get aid you people try to get a little track lay not to join up around like a boy to kansas city faggots i remember that life whatever that meets

and i'm quoting a movie by the way before everybody gets all fuckin uptight about there being a richer prior wrote on that and he was actually supposed to be the leading it and then they went with the the other actor and i don't know any actress names ok three number three bill you asked for movie lines said by a non be star actors that you're listeners friends talked about for my group of friends it's a line from ghostbusters when peter vanquished bill marie shows up to dana's w weaver apartment right after the dog monster runs loose from who is tell you i've never seen that movie i've never seen ghostbusters just not a sigh flag i think is that concern cipher vague it shows up to the scene and ass a cop what happened the cop nonchalantly replies some more on brought a cougar to a party in a went berserk my friends and i am quoting that cop for years check it out a two thirty of the following i

like you look at these fuck and click on the links this even better why have me read it when i click on the links are right compare my red pointed to pay more for when you slave you saying line how about a girl nigger works jesus christ what the fuck kind of linking is sending me here i thought was gonna go to your fuckin boy boy you have ever apology video here what the fuck just happened i was do i do this otherwise this is my three temperature

fuck all these things these things are gonna be too long and evidently they day of the inward boy do i need to take any after this one now number four i have two unknown and unheralded actors with memorable movie lines both are the great mel brooks movies the first one is the roman soldier in the history of the world part one the empress is approaching but the there's a horse and carriage in the way the romans hold your looks directly at the cameron says move that of a piece of shit the over this way delivers the line comes out of nowhere i say it all the time and the best impression i could do you know do i have to get the actual clips for this to work because what i am now doing is ruining ruining great movies are a girlfriend believes in ghosts are a girlfriend believes and goes dear grandmaster b i met this lady a few weeks ago things when really good she's very cool i found her good luck

being and we have a lot of stuff to talk about i didn't have a great alot of i have a lot of relationships in the past on thirty two and i picked up my game about four years ago everything was great till we went to a restaurant one day she told me she believes in ghost not just that she said she actually sees them and even got patience who come to her for treatment about it i tried to be open minded about it oh my god i can just hear the silverware hit the plates at this point trying to compare it to people who believe in god but her believing in this keeps bobby mc i'm not saying she's crazy a wrong who am i dunno but she doesn't right the way i see the world while then fuckin dropper that's the thing this is how fuckin straight across the board you have to look at everything like all the leaves are brought em sky of gray like if you're dating and somebody does something and makes your body aegis body literally go like what the fuck

and then your little you gonna fight that feeling well maybe i need that being so goes to phobic it's like now it's fuckin ghosts it's weird yet how you gonna fuck and live with what be goldberg character from ghost that's what you're gonna do people trying to sit honour and shit trying to sit on your wife that's what you can sign up for me if that's what you're into by all means door but you're a date in the that's a major fuckin thing this is not like she just believes in and every once in a while she's going to hear like a thump in the house and start telling you it's a ghost when you're like honey it's fucking air in the pipes all right we just have to fucking turn on the faucet member the plumber did work today in the shut it off for a second that that's what that is you don't let's not that she actually she's gonna become like a ghost hunter and all that stuff and gradually can i get start dressing more and more like she can predict the future you don't fuck that you know

when they mr windows long flowing things you know just you just so many layers of close to try to pick up just get it going you know he's not wearing white curtains and shit you don't need that anyway sorry sorry that whole fuckin movie thing just at enough can you guys just send me the goddamn clip i guess you sent me the clip what i should have done was cured up i try to do too many things i tried to promote shit i try to do all that and then do the whole thing in the whole fucking thing just fell apart all right let me just finish with this last a body of mine is opening a fuckin a new comedy club the upper west side in manhattan ok friday october six in october seventh it's like a little one hundred seat fuckin club i'm i'm gonna be come into town in november pop it into a spot i love little clubs like dat let's see

here rossman needs gonna be there greer barnes marked norman john fish rod small bryce scott ec fan and many more it's gonna be a great show if you're on the upper east side up west side sorry it's not to a one west seventy fifth streets right next to the big data which is also cool want me to go in there and you fuckin do you spots nikko you go while some day i'll be across the street tremendous give it a shot if you're in town friday october six in october seventh i got the hiccups that's the podcast please hopefully bay esparza new stand of special what's it called translate this september thirtieth on hbo ten p m it feels more elegant suggestion i haven't i mean today aren't go fuck yourself i'll check it out here on thursday