What's goin on its billboards type the thursday afternoon, just before friday, monday morning, podcast at I just get it on you checking to see how you weeks, don't usually it's just me checking it on you, but occasionally I'll, have a guest? someone I just can't resist. You know I used to live out massachusetts. I used to be a real person. Then I came out to hollywood and became a big foamy it's know all kinds of celebrities, one of my favorite celebrities But I've got no work, which is the one and only nick crawl, who has a stand up: special called little big man, looping boy you're, a big boy his animated series wildly success. One netflix comes out at the end of this month, big mouth and he is here to promote both of those because this man has more irons in the fire that fuckin cowboy, the eighteen hundreds.

How are you, sir? I'm good I'm proud to be thought of as one of your favorite hollywood phony friends so world to be here. It must be one of my hollywood friends. Then you got a pool when you upgraded, Hollywood, where you gotta, have a pool gotta they never read it and you gotta go the phone screaming at somebody. Truly, I am never in my poor. I feel as though I become allergic to my poor. So as a true now, I'm feeling now one of your hollywood phony It neurotic jewish friends cannot put himself once the world to feel bad for him because he doesn't have time for his big hollywood pool because he's so busy promoting all of us Successful projects will relate of all find a way to be reliable bill. Can you agree I get just six pack. Your so tell me. Where did you shoot your special the warrant?

theatre in DC. You know what I'm sure you shot, especially. How do you like those those crowds like like on after the right or wrong. The conservative because I feel like everybody, there reside in the business Yes and other industry town, but this one they really fuck, you you don't I mean, I like this year. I saved you see for their pride to see busy for the talk, as I do find them to be a smart audience. It to l or new york. and both in the same way and I'm playing fenway too weak. I'd like to promote that is worth doing three nights. I don't know how many you denies up. I couldn't just say: do you gotta say three going through it? So, but I I like DC they're smart like but they're, not like over it like new york and l, a you know what I mean they're still excited that you're coming through

at theater is beautiful. It's got. You know. It's kind of grand and in how it looks, and so I had been waiting for the whole tour, which got kind of broken up in the middle of the pandemic to to go. Do it. It was great, it was really fun, it wasn't it if you like, yeah its nerve racking? down, and then he just walk around anybody see like was that god with that, guy was a god sky in the way back to the hotel. Did you see? Did you hear the homeless cause like you got it it's in there it's in there somewhere, you got it on the first one yeah. You just have fun guys that every one of us- and I was right- but we got it now. have fun now your words is a drum Fuck up before we all lose six figures on this piece of shit. You're saying you know you say you are new york and allay- is over it. I think this whole country is over. It The time my watch concert.

did you have one of my favorite bands when they're like south america I just saw some clip of guns and roses new playing welcome to the jungle in there just planted beginning than it is at an end, and that it is intended that you and eighty thousand people in unison where jumping up and down screaming added screaming, although the lyrics an error, but I was just looking at that guy, like these bans, will they once they towards south america? They must come back tomorrow, this cut. Just be like this fact, and this is the church me it's true. I think I mean it. I mean the cameras, it's it's so much of it is the cameras. I think they just a minute, like guns arousing than ever, and just like even I mean they're just trying they ve lost all sense of it, and I and I've seen a couple especially bans like that. You got to south america, they love heavy metal like they just are. I mean I need guns rose, not big heavy metal but like they still think like that

raw. I mean that's like the centre of their. You know. Like simple tour can still play like eighty thousand cedar? I never do it in the eighties. When I'm gonna concerts you don't. We went nuts weeding out like that. no, maybe maybe like the encore, but Cds you'd be should not count as even averages. I welcome raw do drugs far out europe. We want like the entire magazines going here Do you remember your first concert? What was your first concert Judas priest with dark and open up I feel for life tour, eureka central, I saw the real original Judas priest, the guy who created the thing to plant plant the seeds in the ground? I went and saw him speak, how that was great, really formative? I learned a lot about a biblical cultivation

I miss hang out with you man, I haven't seen you aren't what jumper back in again rebecca. I threw my lady. We just we just cut out, because I always I cut out, should if it's too much personal information and I've got that from there was the non netflix com. don't fuck with care Did you see that, yes, yeah. All we had was big. The serial killer. Does he torture and these cats to death. They didn't always a serial killer and all they had was like just of like bed unlike some beige wall and from the with the bedsheets and all of that stuff. They were able to figure out what city the building and they ended up finding the guy and not before you know he killed some people, but gets they still lonely. He killed cats bill. I'm not into that man.

you're. Not in that you're not going to kill, I feel like you're, a dog guy. Do you have any sense of humor when people kill animals in like programming when in program, We have funny way to kill anything. You just go over the top with it, but really to do it? I'm not! It's like I wouldn't I would. I don't see anything suffocated unless it's the person that would go around suffocating something, then you constrictor or serial killers. I don't mind seeing those things suffocated, but I am a a much as I am a court of law, I do love. Animals you are there and there is something I could kill. I think you have you. Have you watch a video of a of a snake turn a swallow, a go. Like watching it like a snake, like literally holder in entire, go inside of its body and fear and how to process, it was trying to this picture on the wall, at the time

restaurant they got got. I didn't know you watch shit like that's a kind of dumb should I would watch one time. It was so bad. He he got one and he imported some fucking snake or what part of the web he was on. you didn't you gotta, like some man, o connor, some shit, he put a goat in the cage with it, and the goat had no idea what it was. So I walked up and sniffed it, and this thing just grabbed it and choked it It guy was going like. I won't watch it's like what you're like right here. This is when it's close to the end- and I was like this is darkest shit. That and a guy fetid ship to a snake, oh yeah, really only going down as is not ready like from inside the snakes mouth you could ever do, and I was just like I'm done with this, but that's what you're jerking off do these days? Well, you know you. You tolerates, goes up after a while

you gotta keep raising mistakes, I find that limit, That's what I got arnold used to say: every movie has to be bigger. The explosions have to be louder Ass to be more helicopters, there must be more. There must be more chip, cheeks being eaten by snakes yeah. I would vote for an all right now. If you ran for president over vernal, He's better than the other two options: lemme, see that acts like they hate trump. Why they actively promote this guy, like they work for these social media team, They can't wait from the come back, so they can spend four years. Their feet of garlic. Ok boy was guy What're you gonna do everyday like an easy newsday. I have no interest in him. I've. I watched him so infrequently for the years that he was president like

If I didn't, engage with any clips, I don't watch the news. I can't watch the news I just I have five minutes, I'm like I'm bored, I hate it. I don't want. I don't think I've watched a presidential speech since bill Clinton yup, once I thought only was line, and I just watch of go when he I did not. We have put his hand like. Does he like granite wow gear you like I'm in now I mean I would I watched obama. I love I love your loved, I love obama them but he made me fall asleep every speech not because I would think I was bored by him, but he I found him so comforting. I just found it very comforting. Hearing him speak and the way he spoke he looked at obama global level. It'd, sunlight, Jackie, mason

your cock. Jackie mason was when I saw that he died. He was born in this country He was born in ohio. How is that How exactly with dixon? How does that boy douglas days like how is it possible that that man was borne out ethnic? Everything was he's. Probably his parents were probably right off the boat. I was not born somebody else. They were all the great ethnic names like the clause, cs. It was all there was always like you know, ten he's right. The polish kids although the early italian, kids, all the irish kids and all that and then somehow we all bad Each other, yes, and everybody got rid of the last names because of all the many italian guys did take. The bargain is like, get rid of all of this. It's right. There is. There is a documentary in a book about this woman, vivian Meyer, who is a a nanny.

For it is a vicious but she's also street photographer, and so she would in taking over kids? But you just take these like secret, portraits of people on the street and it's all pictures of people in the mid west, Milwaukee chicago all those like the forties, fifties and fifties and fixing you see their faces. the people walk around chicago and this? Anything you like. That is a polish phase. That is an irish base. That is it like a yugoslavian face like it was if you are even though white people had started to mix. You know what I mean like you, look at you and I and we're like I dunno about you. I suit like this is just this is, hundred and thirty percent jewish. This is a hundred and ninety percent eastern european jew I'm assuming you all irish urges like you're gonna, I'm actually massively guy jarman, ok, I never did when I was twenty three, the me now. I don't want that. We will find a serial killer. My family and I was raised not to be a rat's, so

gotta, go in Now? Maybe it's man that, like video with the little little check going down the yeah, german. you're, not you. I could see the german near there either. Is that fiery hate in your eyes down nothin about you that always bothered me seven about you. That would make me feel like a snake with a sheep in a cage. Do you ask let's see if we can talk about my people for a second, at. The famous hitler footage? I'm sure you watch it all the time to talk about If you can get off This is the classic one where right before are, you know he was gonna unleash his new ideas on the world. Sure he's

in this giant stadium, and they have like all like those little square sections of troops and all of that, and they got all all of the the all their march at live nation, not easy to go through this arena. Torp they're going to blow up the arenas right so. he gives us how speech you're remain Very louis black yeah angry mother ever waning was black before any. By that the runway anyway, Why don't you use a language entered by the addressing clear for the wreck? at the end of the war. Is that that thing? Where were the allies blow up that concrete, swastika? Ok, that's that same stadium- and they never knocked down what they never like prepare to, because they don't if they knock it down, they make the guy a martyr because they're trying to make it all go away in germany, yeah. So my point

as you can still go to that place, is like when stadium or sub. You can stand right at your own rest. Now, almost like a hundred years old and it's all fallen down by I You know I always saw those world war, two movies and shit like that. But when you go over to Europe it becomes like real, especially when you see like ninety percent of the cities, the art Textures from like the nineteenth fifties on you like it resolving, aroused all that's right, the no bail out there the fuck out of each other- that's right eye I gotta say I respect germany's, how they handle that they are real. They got real, like all german, should think, are real serious about it and real like genuine about it. You know I mean they were like look we're fucked up. We're not gonna like will, will punish ourselves like like bad like a bad little sub in.

berlin sex dungeon. There like we deserve with you. We deserve spanked. I would like a metal cattle and we deserve this and we want it. We need it and I, I respect that, like they don't like the. U s, watch scat porn yet happened. nazis scared porn, rapid killing checks where no one knit crawl. Everybody has a new corporate structures with a big boy. You bill and big mouth is coming out into the month and them And then, at the end of the month, you think you'll have time to go to your big hollywood pool I will and then I'll get a bizarre allergic reaction to it and then all- and I continue to be reliable to people beyond myself Your latest imdb credit started yelling cannonball before you go

season. Five I go. I go bill burr, but the morning on thursday, podcast on youtube isn't an id because it only got one too hey you're dead? Now man? Yes, I am. I am your dad. I don't have time, to you. Young too young adds here just having a camera to younger everyone. Hollywood dad's abounded two men who made the decision early in life to become fathers who were entirely requited. Did you get your first con? Austria have your first kid. First, I have of earth kid kid first, still haven't gotten the colonoscopy He emanistic the kid up there and see what he finds You know this as you like to build tension, everybody's, like that's how you keep doing more seasons of big multi, dwell, wait and see. How did your did you do yours? You done yours twice, I'm a very to tourists.

But the two didn't obviously other than the crap you have to drink yeah. yes thing, but here's the thing don't drink the shit that they give you asked say you want to pay for the good stuff. Ok Yeah they'll give you the red label, colon! The blue label shit! You want to hide your the way that they give you rock got like whatever the hell they gave me dude like it was like three days, and I thought it was the procedure and I had to think back like no. It wasn't like that. The first time, because the first time I got the johnny blow the first time. Okay, I was easy, was afraid, cakewalk, but not the first time. You were like a fancy: japanese businessmen and the second time you are just like a homeless guy, get a plastic bottle, whisky, a second time, attack my own shoe. normally millie bounce, but like three days, not seriously how it's like ours.

Like this? Is not the procedure I'm not trying to scare people away. It was the rock gods shit that they gave me too. I was like walking it like, maybe like a fifteen degree angle off as I was walking around my house, and you know So if you ask the special I don't think I need a to drink anything. I don't think I need to eat like one bullet, fettuccine, alfredo and I'll be cleared out for a week like I'll, just All you want to know you one of those people who Imagine a great did. I did not come about What are you about? I don't think I said irritable bosses- oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's now transferred to my skin. My skin is crazy. has gone back. Crazy. In the last, it's always been bad, but it's gotten crazy. In the last couple of years, allergic reactions constantly face explode. you don't have that This is just not how I look

I'll say at my added I was using jews. Get eczema like and it's like they're like to remind of the building the suffering to build the pyramids, the cracking and the irish get like rosacea. It's like this, like range in our age that live inside. It must come out in this light, the large she and it's like that's, that's that's what the two groups and we and we end up all we all end up in common. We all end up at some point in a writers. You know what I mean. I never knew that. That's what's the matter. That's what you gotta meet! You gonna marry outside for real it's like the other royal family, there's, just one, oh, what weirdest collection of people, damn you would never think that they were winning

another meaning that they were living in palaces and all that they just look like I don't know there was like they're from the past. They do. because I outlined this diane- I don't know where she came from. She was roy yo butter. She was fancy, but why you know yet but she brought in my god. Is she that she, at some point was like new money and they got to bring in a couple hobbies like new money hobbes into her into her bloodstream. That leads to her imagine what they have in that family it's an absolute eczema, one of your fucking, the same pot. Often five hundred years, what I've ever even doing look around a bunch go back and look at the habsburg, unlike the seventeen hundred there their their eyes were bigger than their chins. I mean there their these, like page truly were like,

stomach less chinless. Bizarre that truly most bizarre looking people just spilling out of their pockets. So rich and truly incapable of personal or governmental rule like incapable of controlling their own bowels? and yet in control of millions of people It's what happened to them. The russian lackman barium during a very effective way for themselves out of power, I believe I mean they might have gone all the way to world world one I mean that's kind of of world war. One happens is like all these people being like we need fascists. We need austro hungarian. We need like people to get us out of these, like inbred monsters, the two thinking What happened than I am, and I was fascinated whose roof

by inbred monsters, who had all the gold So finally, your eyes were bigger than the chance it can you develop that it's not too late. I mean it's cut and I'm like shit. Why didn't we do that for history, the world hey if you Blonde, yet is a good. Are you gonna? Take the sam, You watch the kids you're, the guy like I wanted the premier I wasn't, but are you in it now My body is in it, but he would not be in there. You are applying you're, like I do think you're one of those people are like Marilyn monroe at eight it come on. Let's go out its women ever yeah. I know it's a virus blank. You know he's playing like arthur miller, yet another burghardt gases arthur oh by the way yeah that guy killed it. Who is it the guy play and arthur Miller Juno?

this programme and I more guide the guy. You play the piano we just tally bury when he won the oscar. Way, brody believe I'm sorry I came over anybody's adrian brodie was pocket amazing that yeah conferred on them All right, everybody live reads. You get to look at the struggling face of a man who doesn't like to read out loud look forward as everybody. It's all set requirements. You like that. I want that you didn't know fishing the cataracts there, Did you know there are? There are currently over two point: four million podcasts in the world point, seven of our own off all things comedy, including the one you're listening to right now, and it takes a team of people too, Bring these plot together, need to say, then. Why would you say it hiring the right people for these roles is important and weather.

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Fine cigars fighter cigars in phoenix arizona that car This game is too loud and you want to leave at half time. That's the place! You wanna go, they treat me like gold was awesome. Thank you to them. Thank you. Two steps, A calm and thank you for listening. And watching and god, america, but only this country because I'm patriotic. Do you want to into watching right now, when I watch on youtube yeah, why why? Let's live? Let's live stream! This you watch the movie and I sit here and watch. You react to it. No, no! No I'll tell you what I've been watching. I watch she got people power, washing their driveways and walk raised. Yeah I get ridiculous amount of satisfaction that I also watching this guy, who does the Are you you call em like he finds these cars. These great cars there have been sitting in a barn and like rats have gone in their built nest in shit, impressed on everything, and he just

was to work. A joy does is wash em. and they come out. I like that, we're going like with it with the tooth brush inside the my god. It is so satisfied appointed for the plucky wheels. What that thing, and he s a measure and like the paint and everything I want, stated that I've been watching I started watching martin sheen, as regards made for tv movies. From just haven't these just machine. Well, I watched the first one. I said I liked it and then this buddy of mine goes through what he did like six of those bought four or five of them. During you know the lean years, you know the fetus family before I did apocalypse now and I watch one called the california kid hour and ten minutes. Oh it has left the prevailing or anything with more and a young nick was great so, So this is pretty

turkey, now not posters like it's! It's not like. Like He almost he has a heart attack and thirty one doing apocalypse now and cocaine and then comes back and as tv movies. This is this is before that it in be called the incident blade like a hoodlum on. Ah now on a subway trade, it has got money and like by boat bridges, isn't it young bogus super young? It's in black and white if you've ever lived in new york. What's funny is the amount of time between subway stops where all of this stuff happens like and then the next supper it is. You know you can see. Why was an independent movie? They just set it on that. Then he did one. Storm this real life serial killer. He was doing like all of this sort of darker things. and then he got into them the tv movies and just start a kind of learn about his career, but I like back and watch those offices. I like looking at the cars. It's not all the noise it today. So

That's why I don't. I don't know I I know some stuff about. What's going on plenty of stuff, although you know the bills came back and beat the ravens yesterday, I know what's got you know about that, but I mean it's like I'm like bill. I can't believe you don't know big term current stuff. You've got a primus poster and the Charles bronson poster behind you that, I both of it. Absolutely at is going Ah, that's the french death wish. A lobby The aim is to review, shows bull so go out and learn how to speak french really well. You have an insatiable brain you talk about it, I'm sorry there may not be right for your brain below me compared to you.

We have no interest bill. I have no interest every time, a dog that can fly a helicopter and now imperil watching other people's driveways, because I found the best one and I'm studying charles bronson. You know not just running but demons in my head. You, on the other hand, when I did the net crawl, shall you are never. I wasn't. I don't know what concert there one time and basically knew the entire. You knew you do the history of hollywood. The way I know like seventies, nfl, starting quarterbacks, you will go Students deal had producers Well, there's one I'm just gonna throw the movie we the scandal behind it, a girl but fate I will be with us: the example guy right,

did you study the guy you take away stairway kragans is topical steroids, creams! That's what you do. I've been that we wanted to take a stairway cream here there are the getaway. The getaway, oh that's a we could. You know more about the steamer queen, my get this? Ok, I don't know this is the right time, but I guess steamer queen has started fucking alley, mcgraw agenda and he's taken her away from Robert evans, whose below knows is collapsing at the age of fifty one from the amount of cocaine he's already done. And any an end any gets away, the statement going. Captain wegg anytime heat bar that you that you vanish eyes ashley, a cool cars because he's doing again it away, so he liked to pigs off fuck. Station wagon, what's paneling

I feel something else it afforded us today. I'm, so it is in that I just couldn't the cars and a fetish eyes it just because you're not occur our guy. Would you got you get some eager, was something I have this guy permitted ida, priests, a prius It's for a minute I still like I am at my anna has it now. I drive it. It's the loose to drive in america and I met some chicks in that priests. A man? You got no idea. that is something that has never been said. I would just have to drive down three, I put a stop signed the second. They heard that engine turn off, they will be like who is this guy? Who is baddie from the future? ah I had a breeze, you wanna hear my cards. You wanna hear my evolution. Cars can, I guess I m sure please be white? What year did you start driving? Oh

from back, then ninety five. Ninety, ninety, ninety five, ninety five, five. Eastern, jewish eczema, yeah. Ninety five side figure. The car is like. Your irish should be at least seven yourself, but you yourself say was about three years old and go back Three years old that's a ninety two I would say you eddie used me. Son I appreciate you saying that it was a. It was my. It was my mom's volvo Then I put a cigarette burns in the first day. I drove it right on the little bad ass. Aren't you have on your black by the jacket? and now I wish You're, not the shares daughter at the Bobby suck know me and I'll be in the aggressor. Agree: surfeited logan volvo, always

I'm just make sure your air or greece back with the other guy you're gonna go absolutely pretending to be duly movie need to be made. Yeah in brief and I got the jewish gang movie. There needs to be made. Oh I'm in the purple gang. Oh, what's this I need more gang. I didn't know that that was those were jewish gangsters. You're, not around crawl, godfather good, good, fellows at every jew. Every jewish family wants to be like you know the Jews used to be the boxers and they were the gangsters. You know what I mean it was like a it's a real thing like we used to be tough at one point: where were the immigrants and we were top, you ever have a cat. You've got gases, are not like a gangster like an irish gangster or something,

who gives a shit? That's been done. A million times nobody's no one's shown. You guys is the good fellows. True, there was, I mean I guess you get Meyer lansky, you know, what's his face, you the voice over doing the Jackie mason oppression ever since I can remember, I always knew I can remember we ve been doing in member countries They killed the irish public outrage such rage. We would kill everybody. You know one of a woman. I was dating a long time ago. I fucked it up because of all, and I wasn't and ass. She took me on my birthday for my birthday to go, see Jackie mason live on broadway dude, he fucked. Murdered. He did. It our of stand up, took a break and came act, did another forty five guess. margaret.

it was he doing crowd. Work was at all just material was all material, and was Marie you what he would very like economical move, because he made by that, and he let it be like in his nicer I saw he was in the seventies funny when he would do like his little you're talking like that like joking around about gentiles, do those lou, but I was a toilet logo right there. He was his sheep. It was like who is making fun of. He was making fun alike, but he may funds Democrats Republicans thy top cool, stuff, old school shit, just a mass I'm. So I'm so happy that I got to see him. I never have to see him if you go back is a separate, but I went back and watched back to school.

rodney dangerfield. Have you watched that movie recently probably have an act that he's just doing stand up? Yes, exactly he's sitting there and they're like the woman who she just passed away, who was hot lips in the original mash moves? She's, like you know, she's the older teacher who he like and she's like thoughts, and your fascinating using that was a fascinating. You know, like he's just immediately just doing it's not acting at all. It's just doing material at a tame, her shrew, okay, yeah haunt me launch him and everybody around him is just like it's it's as if he's he's having a normal conversation, it's so funny. You know what I love when it is acting too, he still has his restless leg syndrome. He's he's still doing the hey. This guy is going to hang it up. I just wanted it I don't like all the others. God live in the dream, living I did this movie Pete davidson a few years in part, the rap party we went over his place and we want.

Easy money was one favorite parties and every I just sat there die and laugh at first of all, the who have you know in the first ten pages, get kind of blah, but they don't do that to forty five minutes into the movie. Like you, don't even know what the fucking movies about forty five minutes other than are laughing, It is as Joe past she's in it All what's his face, ass, he passed away, can kill myself, not remember the taylor Negron Taylor Negron in it. Oh yeah, in that tat man, I mean Taylor nagras. First, a member me tell her. I go in for an audition beyond a curve, your thumbs. Yes, this is years ago I was like it was I just gotten in age and I was so excited. I was gonna. Maybe you know We're audition for curbing that it was the play like in a feat waiter. You know again, which is the nice thing like

A fish gay like I just couldn't day we're gonna set. So I go into that. The in the last minute they're, like eight hour, I have here they'll, go deep on that shop, gay waiter and then they were like and at the last minute they're like owen. Maybe it should be like foreign, you know when I get there, they tariffs. Ok, I get it ok. I work right before me, tell her neck groundwork, syn If they all know, I mean he was on seinfeld, he goes in and the whole rooms I am just keep crush, is like you can hear it from outside the room he just crushed, is and then I go in and I mean it was just like they were like hey. They said you know what I mean, and that was that, but asic of course, and then taylor we've already cast this role greeting yes, You had better known as we're just gonna do the first seen yet yes, you're, not in this business, that's what they do like prepare scenes. You know three scenes of blah blah blah nice to get that all the time when they would just see me when I would walk in because

Then you had black and white ah had shots. And most was in and I had most of my hair. So my hair kind of red brow, yeah- yeah. You know my agent was gonna, tell him so It's time I went in there. If it was like occasion, I would go in for a lead. You, like that don't pick up a redhead male colleagues. And I would walk in. I would see it in their face and I was always like okay, which is This was just gotta to, while just as great to see three where little behind yeah. We know, we know what you what delicious and I- and I was just like you- do you know. I just need you to you drink the coffee were good. Actually, we didn't even need to get audio on this. We just need to see drink there. I dunno if you've got the rewrites, but the characters now walking out that door and you're like they don't guess, redheads and then you turn it on and it's caruso and then Y p d, blue you're, like oh he's, the guy he's the guy that broke up it broke open the door and then slammed it shut. When his movies didn't work

he got n Y p blow, and then he made really good movies like Jane and didn't head. And then all the hollywood I felt was. I am right who have rights? You almost albino. You get back Where was it go back to your browser veto tan? The dream now get the gun. You don't get. The girl did talk to the guy. Who does Definitely it's a better place to be talking to the guy. Who does that guy? Who does it's? It's them? Nonetheless, guess it's seems exhausting, seems exhausting to be that guy on number one on the call sheet. Now I want to be no. I had something a long time ago. Told me he goes. You wanna, be about eight. Eight or nine will call she you gotta lines were not gonna get caught out, but you don't have to but every day, neuron location around town check it out get suddenly an hour. In today. Work and today's I'm for a week.

Go to the gym. Live a nice life. Yes, ragged, eight along You need a local and then leave from me. That's all I've always wanted a second family, but family wilmington, north carolina yeah, it is it's it's it's true! It's like you see. Those guys are number one you're like how you doing good. I been on for seventy days straight and then a where you, the worn candied at a restaurant and everyone hates my new girlfriend, so things are good. Things are really good. I'd marry I just write a book about wilmington north carolina really, what is it about the poor boy? What was it about? About this, this thing they did no eighteen, hundreds second, the tourism ass. Well, Wilmington's lie, correction of eighteen. Ninety two! It's actually. It makes now it makes a lot

what's goin on yonder, they're, not gonna fuck. Did we get here where we all yelling at each other? I would like you know this is stupid, while while we all yell at each other- and these eight assholes are you know he treated us like little marionette puppets and all that good It's I highly recommend. I actually I don't read to you even notice upon you go I haven't at a very busy watching power, washing videos. How how do you have time to read? I read books. I read like four pages every night before I go to sleep That's right! That's its! That's! How I falsely asleep as red light. A few pages of a book- and it means I read like for books a year but I don't worry during the day, because I will fall asleep immediately. I have a good thing. You know it's funny. I discovered coffee this year I mean I knew it was out there, but I finally started drinking it and I'm just kind of realizing. That is better than just take a nap.

Then the drink, coffee. Well, then, the tricky a body and to think about it is entirely. like get worked up like no. It isn't. I guess it blocks, but attainable, Donna tastes I'll fuckin guy. Don't I we'd? How do you make it to thirty? Eight, and not drink coffee. Thirty The press is the old, it tells you if my dad? my dad used to drink it, any would leave it ably like this much any. I would come by an hour later, another drink cold like now in the seventies, instant coffee, I'm like this is insane good drinking, cold, say or write. My parents were folgers, they had the flavor of christmas and he could yet which turned out to be. I'm sure, like turned out to be like that, like ceiling, installation, fiberglass, open up the road pours surpassing system, the factory, stressing that just valid out go.

The public favor crystals and then that just opened up all of the just so that the coffee can enter the bloodstream faster and they're like what a dream. Well, that's like I, you It's scaring also makes me want to try it just for the buzz doing tobacco had like microscopic pieces of glass. The inside of you, your mouth said the tobacco go like right to your brain. You never thought you drive him, stop cards faster. Well, you never get stall band national, crazy after copenhagen, you never you never paid lip need ever did well. I guess I I was afraid, cancer and all that, but I am obviously do. I thought that chewing tobacco was the coolest fuckin thing everybody in baseball did it No, bad asses. In my town day, Oboloi maintained asses in my town. They got the good can checks they depth and they play unhappy. Sack

so, where combination, but there was a moment where he sack was not a hippie thing no. It was cool and those guy and they're all doing great. Now, I'm assuming right. as far as I know, one of the guys who is the best added I just read it to have what I was I was corner where the fuck I was out, but he came back. It was this. This Oh this actually call story. He was his fucking like one first class clowns I ever met in my life, and he was in my division and eighth grade because of divisions like it was army. Whatever. And fact the fastest school year of my childhood That guy made me laugh so hard. It was like I just I I my head down started laughing. I woke up and was already April didn. Well that year, like he was just a fuckin and I wish to see was. However, he was funny totally.

It is connected with me, and he just made me laugh by us. Often oh yeah, yeah recently he just came out to a shop. because you know he didn't remember that he was I was at times like. Do you a fuckin hilarious. and and he didn't roommate he doesn't remember himself and your publicist just text you do you have to get off this thing, I'm trying to return and I'm I'm I'm I've come back to l a and I'm trying to connect with a baby a rental equipment? Why should they ever? I rented a high share in new york and now and now the guys trying to pick it up from the apartment that I was at, and so I was I was getting like. Fifteen calls in a row and I'm like fuck. It won't stop calling them like old summer trader, I'm china. Get a baby chair back. pretty sexy stuff. Yet that is not my agent. It was some guy being like. I want my fuckin highchair back you piece of shit where do you going to work together again?

but see why one. Let's see I wanted you on history, the world you were busy making movies it done. We're all we have to do is escort and put the collar on it with the discovery to give it some highlights, Mergers mediaeval see what america, thanks to that people, do not want a little we're gonna judge, we love it bill the rift, everyone loves it It's been a focus group. We wondering if you need to be bold in this one you we're wondering what caused the paint in just. painted familiar with your real quick it'll, just be like seventy two quick sessions. You can still your family is your family? everyone can cover saddened, see you I'm yours is your back out of it I want to do. I want to do anything with you. You know I I'm I'm down. What are you? What are you? I mean like What do we do? I dont know what to do now. Is I've done? That's alright! There's something now

there's a guy. I gotta remember this guy, there's a guy that if the two you got on screen, maybe they wouldn't be enough fuckin room with both eu towns. I gotta see this guy, that I follow the fuckers. name. Could I really want to get my share our text to you? Ok, He? U us all, and all that shit. Where light he'll. Why is like a drag or he'll do like you know, you can make like yourself havoc a little face like coming, how donigan stuff yeah he's completely away from What kyle does and yes is Brian Jordan Alvarez, yes, yeah that it's fucking funny fucking guy was so funny to me and splashing is my life to me and my work saying that for a week Is he like I used? home made the man you see my way she is gone for the day. He saw a random laugh. You wonder

the one or what would you like us up egos There was a little bit a lab kills me every time Do you think you view started now, you'd be making those videos remember getting instagram guy like you would be one of those guys doing the videos. Yeah, I want it, there's a whole bunch of shit like a lot of sketch stuff and characters and all that stuff. That idea, never did cause. I got into like stand up. Boy, You don't wanna, be a compliment. You I saw you emanate. I knew you were had seen exile you at starbucks. I saw him all ginger stand in line like that. I have never seen and when they did when they called your name. And you said I for urban areas

I was so blown away at the the humility that you had when you screamed at the bottom of it, but I forgot to know I'd see you around, but then I saw you at it. It really changed how I wanted to do comedy, which I saw you would crash test, which was diseases, show back at eusebius, just like you know, fifteen years ago, in new york and you were like- and this was at a time where I was like all the all the guys are over here in the club guys are over here and I watch you come into crashes and I watch the fucking crush in one in a hipster audience, because in my mind it's like. Oh, you don't like the club he's killed the clause, but they can fuckin crash but you might hated us while you guys hated us without. Oh, no, no, no! No! No,

Why would I want you to think of it? I won't even around I wasn't in the middle. You guys, you guys, you guys, would do interviews essay went out in the clubs. Do an airplane material get money for a fucking conan. Sat you guys, amorous! I wasn't doing interviews yeah. I was dying, do interviews. I wasn't anywhere near him, so, but I, but it was there- was this sordid degree, have we rafter? While we resented you guys, because still the industry went there, but initially initially the way it was sold. This was initially what club comics doing it they created the sea, but that second wave they were the ones that came in like they were. The wine tasters of normandy and that their shit Why are the right years? Shit joplin? That was one of the game how do you then we accept when you did a benefit than you guys were real nice to us club, guys and all said you had to get out of here. Could you dont want to go on after us?

that's the truth! So I get happy. I wasn't there yet I was just watching those guys you were in the tower. You would take an order to go ahead. I was just watching waiting just wait. I guess I could see the smoke. but I couldn't so so I'd, but I've never watching you, fucking crash at a hipster show, and I was like oh ok, I gotta go to the club I got. I was like that was when I was like. Oh, I gotta go to the clubs. I gotta learn how to make everybody laugh. If casper, I was in a you know, and now I'm doing three nights of family and I gotta thank you for that is, and I remain that's all true. That's all cause. I remembered I was like I want everything on. You will come up as it is one of you guys that gets it because I felt like when I was doing. I'm certain comedy clubs in the all rooms. I felt like this

Added will you like a radio station like I performed a white people from ages, eighteen to twenty four that are into superheroes, and then there was another club that I did where it was just like this boss, the cloud that I used to do yeah. If one looks at it not accurately so many of them went on. There was a girl, I want all satellite rooms and it was just something about that area. That everyone was just so from that area, so huge, somehow produced shrink your act into the one block, They all lived on, you're, a god They would carry you wanted the place, but this back at you. You went to the next town over you, you might as well be speak in another language or whatever. So it's

It was a really. It was a super useful lesson to me and I so I ah I appreciate that and I've literally watch and it it's. The proof is in the pudding. You fuckin kill for everybody everywhere, and so I felt so relatable natural. yet their man. You know what I I, like a snake. Everybody has to shit so quickly. it's where you start your act from your study, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna! Ask you, I'm gonna! Ask you to watch my special we're item three. Fair, should pants stories, china, china, to child with a lot of this about your irritable bow system. It's about is wrong the ads about him. It's about my it's about shooting my pants, a bunch, a ship, my pants, a bunch as an adult yarn about while system is when you get here what's your ass back. Its assistance is

the sum of, but plugs not but plugs for sexual pleasure from a client and then you'd rather than the end, and not just the pleasure of his but plug this biplane system. We ve got jason alexander, we ve got all. I remember when something is required before we wrap this up here. Did you have gone over but I am, I am join you it's because whenever I say I gotta wrap this up. People are going to cause a nuclear war but fucking when I want to do you show crucial. I forget them. But that lunatic chair to that you're playing with the fuckin dodger our mind, you like that you and I I came out, I done blue or makeup, and I came out- and I saw you standing- you were already in character. I just remember like this. Guy is out of his fucking mind, and this is going to be Well, then, I used to act out all the words that you said that weird on tat. He had

What does he couldn't movies base because he had so much work done so the only way I could get expression, I was to do everything he did it was. He was a plastic surgeon for dogs who then got caught in like a stair case. True, crime world, and you were the cop who was on him. Try be murder his knife I still making was built if it is still vague burns. I've always resented that's how much you commit to the role of that's why he had the plastic surgery. I felt he didn't want to betray his guilt. We want to have the perfect pop. her face. Why couldn't tell if he was innocent guilty that's how he bill burgos as an actor people are realises. I've had it wasn't just a sketch to me now: that was a real crime, are still. I did I bet away that's the way to do it. That's why you gotta do it, you gotta go all all in all in all the time it and it works. It works Another great memory is, I worked with reinhard howard's father on one of the sketches. Yet,

tell me what it was like to work on cool hand. Luke she's us he was one of the eggs the man had been eggs. Chrome. Everybody check out his new stand of special and they run away hit rigmarole. on netflix alive

your brother. I hope we get to at least hang out or something and debate all comedy versus club comedy, ok about it. It is evil and what's going on is built borrowed it's the Monday morning, claude castle body october's six.

two thousand and fourteen hello. It's me I haven't pod- cares for a long long time. Actually it was last monday in the mornin due to boot,. Pardon to be who hey. What's goin on our you, as you can tell, I screamed and yelled all this fucking weekend. That only means one thing: billy red face at a stand up, gig If you knew to my podcast wiser voice get raspy after you have a show, because I dont not write a joke sore I have to do as I have just scream my ideas. I asked have to use the f word right and left will have the right. You know and it makes so we faces.

I was actually up in san francisco. We, if you're, going to try and see school. Put some flowers in your hair fields of changing your pockets for the fucking, nine thousand homeless people they have at their job. this is christ, an undated what them you know how great was towards the end of the month and two great things that doesn't make sense. The beginning of the month was back. When you wouldn't see the homeless people in san francisco cause. They actually gave him a statement which was it You know a little bit of money, so they could get him off. fuck and streets. You know like these. How can people not a handle money? They knew how to handle money they what they want to ban homeless. This guy sucks at math. I know, let's give him an algebra book. I see a fella good luck with that one, tat, any level.

that's not even sure, that's it, that's even worse than that. That example doesn't even makes sense that wasn't the correct example, because If somebody sucks with money- and you just give them money, you know: sucks, Matthew math. He gave algebra book, they could actually learn about math just give somebody some math a bag and numbers whatever, the one, you know what I'm trying to say right: then, if you don't, I dont know that you don't, because you can't call into this show array, the phone lines. The non existent phone lines cannot light up. trying to write down alabama, so I dont forget to talk about them this week. I love, dream and it does we anyway, so is up there in San francisco, and I was working davies, symphony hall, and I had a great time and you know it

they were part of the fucker weaken was j law? Had jason law had rose bull, Ok, legend jason law had before he's gonna bring me out he's like What do you want to fuck? It turn on the air conditioning can hear that stupid thing rattling. they tell her. You know you're trying to tell your wife, you dont want something and what are they? They fuckin do anyways because they think that they, Oh, I know what's good for him No, it's good from hang on a good shut. This fuckin thing off. Back on fuck, unbelievable swear to god. it probably a bitch on an complain and they do on all those those fuckin yeah. the epp and shows there. You know I know was better than one woman runner YAP. Well, let's get three others nevermore sit around with their shoes. You know yep

yup yapping and about all the fuckin shit. That's gonna on are those shows by the way, the view talk and all those are those like women's versions of like a guy watching those stupid, pre game. Nfl shows you know, rather than for broad, he gets fuckin for meat had guys in their suits. You, it's it's a bit a bubble, scream jungle, who says fuck and bubble screen one more They time this fuckin weak? I got it. It's a bubble, scrape the screen and there's a bubble. Got an option and they're gonna to fucking. Have the linemen go this way as you what to do to your tickets abroad? Ok,

don't use this option over we watched till we could do to play. You will have to pay return, you can keep affordable. You could try and run it with your kids, two quarterback hurries to the stage where to make the decision to eagle the loose ball or to hold on to without telling you why, when you, when you start to notice that when good things will be happening, introduce you to football league, and I'll just all of that dumb shit that I just fuckin said that I don't need to know. I don't need to know any of that. I dont need to know what a fuckin bubble screens to watch a goddamned gay so reed, red and yellow comes up in the line. It's a fucking hot, isn't a heart rate, so hot heartbeat. can just be. He goes up to the light they see something yeah, let's fucking, do it in a it dozen. Let's just stick with the play:

read on a bubble screamed in a cover too. Tango sierra alpha anyway, so I'm up there in san francisco and for once everything was up there fry saturday and sunday and it was beautiful weather every single day. Eighty four, Degrees. Eighty, the greens, global warming at its finest right. This is how miserable the fuckin weather is in san Francisco. There the most this is don't have air conditioning because they don't fuck it needed. Bearing california, and they don't need air conditioning or right wrap your little fucking podcasting listening brain around that right. Actually, when you think about california, goes play

I promised the entire posts, but the west coast Of the continental united states lower forty eight anyways, so I guess at some point. why you gotta be as far north is like wyoming, They get snow. I know people, why aren't gonna fuckin air conditioning. Does anybody know why arming listen to this. Yet there right now on a horse just sit air stare and cattle. trying to figure out what's out there that keeps killing one or you can civic fuck eight days. sit there, arguing with EU bodies. Look at the bat marked by march there, no fuckin, coyote girl, jack you're fucking can carry saw a bit. You know you get there

from you get there from your mother. I know she was fucking dumb. The moment I looked down at her boots, alright, but a touch wang and out my favorite song was on the jukebox, so I said fuck it. I, I do not know the back of my truck down. There stick my course lot on Aforehand and I'll I'll. Tell you what put a right over. I'm not saying you know, she's dead, call me up almost say by curbing their good body storm I get bigger and I bet I shipped off. They got pregnant. Why why does some bitch Jesus power back again, as a baby there you are, Here you are half a fuckin. Still But tell me that a goddamn cairo to kill this fuckin car.

now I ll tell you what more tat. Then it was a pack of wolves and if you keep avenant durham, look on your face. I swear it a fuckin guy. My shoe, you are my goddamn property. Is that understood. Quit your cry and you're. Just like your mother out there and why am right yeah. I know you got air conditioning, you might I have teeth, but I know you have Eric and upsetting. Why do I keep doing this? It was money about wyoming. A lot of. It is fucking, rich people who ve gone out, thereby property, like TED fuckin turner, turn out, I think, can write his horse for The border of the EU it states in may. He call ride his fuckin horse. All away, to Canada. Please that's his goal without ever not being on his own property. You know

Like most driven men at any point, does he think about the fuckin horse. That does not want to walk gallop or trot. all the things that horses do shit and public. It doesn't I do it, doesn't want to do that. They never wanted you on its back to begin with why the fuck what I want you on its back Jesus you ted turner. You can afford a robot horse her with you Jeopardy mustache habits, All that great investment, I would tell you that tekturna, you know when it comes to money. He understands it. He will be great. If ted, turn? It just walked up to a homeless, gay and rather explain money too, I'm just Yellow yelling about money,

I down, you know like a head coach pissed off at his fuckin start quarterback was making a bunch of mistakes in his God is like right on the bubble enough. He just came walking up to the homeless. Guy throws off, the clipboard down at his feet after he sees the guy by some fuckin heroin with a bunch of nickels and a fucking animal innovative yell against. I am side just set up a total comedy scenario, and now I'm balan aright Fuckin roland right out of it, you know I can't do a ted turner, I even already sounds like when I picture in my picture norm macdonald when he used to imitate that guy used to hold the pen and run for president Bob Dole or the number of dull. As I picture ted turner, talking ted turner talking, a new talk show he so fuckin red. She doesn't have any guess. all right so anyway, I go up to see five c school and the what

it's beautiful and die in august family and friends. Up there we hang out. What do we do? what did we do friday night? is unbelievable, italian restaurant and I actually have been craving a porch up for a while. For years after, actually I'm not gonna lie to you. I got a. I got a great pork chop and why is that word, sound, so annoying workshop, this restaurant out here and allay and it was so fuckin. Unbelievably good, right so unbelievably fuckin that. I came back like ten days later gone. I gotta get this porch up again: porch action, applesauce g, Alice, that's swell right, pretty much very much references or chap snapshot. She ass well.

And I fuckin, I went back and they had taken off the menu sought. Myles, said sucked in fact everything sucked the offence shock. The defence sacked we set the whole fuckin. no meals stuck self I went years just thinking about this fuckin workshop waiting for the right, fuckin restaurant, with the right level of quality of food that if it was on the goddamn menu, I was going to order it there's not a lot of plate, not a lot of nice. Restaurants will serve year. Fucking pork chop. Your choices are usually in a stake, some sort of check. fish maybe lamb right there do a pull pork.

They might do a pig's ear, fuckin sandwich a brisk data whatever, but to try to get somebody to give due to make a fucking porch up right. the way that your mother never did, because he was kidnapped, whose kiddo mom's do not not a cook pork chops. Alright, they just date my dad would say: christ you're right. They cut the shit out of it. which is very easy to do with pork. I don't know why. Very easy. For that thing. The tastes like one of the fuckin tiles, it's on the floor, your kitchen, so anyways. I went to this restaurant. This italian restaurant then had homemade fuckin pastor. What am I rich, and I saw that port chocolate- and I said fuck that pastor right there Luigi,

you took lamenting the kitchen I dont need is fuckin, pastor right, I want. I want a fucking pork chops. This poor chap. I get a sight of passive past. It was fortunate outstanding and I know that Most time more shows like anthony bourdain would tell you fuckin restaurant he went to. I don't do that. You know why. because I want to be able to go back there without standing in any sort of a fuckin lie. Why don't you go to san francisco figure? after yourself. That would be Michael I can show you like how arrogant I am anti boardgame has its huge fuckin, millions and millions of fans watching his show. I just getting. I go couple thousand fans. Listen to this lack of thing, and I want make sure I cannot guys. I say the names of things on my podcast, the these deeply crush. people that will be showing up together

I can port job it god. Damn. Oh my god are you kidding me? Oh my god, are you kidding me. Oh my god, all right. I thought the fuckin. I just thought this whole fuckin thing just shut off when I set it back down. I'm doing this right as I woke up there Times, that's happened to me like I gotta restarted and then I fuckin riff for twenty minutes, and I look in the fuckin record is often oh, my god, my god just I just said are my: are you fuckin kid? I gotta do it all over again it's don't really funny character to recreate it. Alright good just fucking panicked, and you know what that brings me to a fucking, unbelievable story that I got to talk about later. Let me finish with the pork chop. Then I'll do a little bit of advertising. Alright, that

Second course around the dessert will be my little fucking story about panicking. Will not be enjoyable. Listen to it! Absolutely terrified me! I So I order this fuckin porch up, only delicious, absolutely fucking delicious. You now and I was talking about yet I'm not gonna. Tell you where I got it. Not only what I never tell you if I now, I can't remember the name of it. So now I'm fucked, who gives a shit you're return. Remember the name of fuckin ex man, it's a goddamn, zillion dollar movie, I well remember the name of a restaurant. The fuck was called It was a number- and I remember that that Jesus Christ, when the cops would just put away their little fucking little pad that they write. the programme an ipad now grab what he looked like and I want you go fuck. It look at the security for.

we're in the middle of nowhere. Well, fuckin call up the drone company, I'm sure they were watching somethin fuckin, nerd, weirdos jerking off too top of my head. Let's get, let's do a little bit of advertising here for this week. Every are right now, when one. What is going on with this shit. Come on bill for christ's vulcan sakes all I swear to god, On these rights me and I swear to god. This is the name of accompany me on these everybody It's unbelievable! How putting on a great pair of underwear changes your entire outlook for the day that is not a joke. You know feeling of putting on that ready old soggy underwear I want you to know the feeling of wearing great fitting great looking underwear. That's capping you bore this. Is

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Remember to tell you I told us you get to the shouts like over to our data. symphony hall, beautiful venue bunch of people showed up and down So before I go out stage whatever before we start Michelle Jason lie had goes hey bill. Is I care what you want me to say about you. And I get like an seen one netflix letterman because you want me to hope to new special and I said yeah. If you don't mind, do not. He said absolutely why to come out. What's it called, they said it comes out december fifth on netflix. And it's called I'm sorry, you feel that way. It was ok. I call, and I find myself egos hey what you're special called again. I keep thinking. Why do I do this? What I got called, I'm sorry. You feel this way, Ok, I got it. I got it. I looked out and I go jack he's like what I go. You're gonna fuck this up. Because not that I'm a professional, they laughed and leaves so he goes. It does this thing here

so his clothes and bit it crashes right And I'm like ok enough a bubble and get ready to get brought out. So I'm ready to get brought up and I'm waiting for them to do as little fight a red corner hasty. The five foot ten, he can't get a dad he's got records orders as heroes. the writing right, but he doesn't do it. He just starts talking It's just walk and act like he always does. He kills like he always does, and now we supposed to fuck and bring me up Bring me up he starts here all it on Google The great out here to be here at san francisco were beautiful. either. Today you know me a bill were out there. sampling, some of the local fair blah blah blah blah blah, and he just starts just not telling jokes

Really telling a story just Vaguely describing the day. yeah. I was about two degrees out their barometric pressure. and I'm sitting there go what the fuck is this guy doing, and then he just goes our eye. You guys ready for the man who came to see it as a scottish That should cover it out on netflix, and then it just looks over many goes zack. I can't remember what it's called and then I fuckin died. Laughing died. Africa's then I realized what he was doing. He wasn't even talk and of the crowd. He was just saying: english words that they understand is in his brain. He was gone fuck. Is it called so I went. out. There for five minutes trashed him. for saying sampling, some of the local fair,

looking back, I should a trash the crowd for not immediately heckling and proceed. Fuckin I'm pulling some of the local fair. What the fuck does that mean? Do you really? but a creeping creepy can expression. That is so. pulling the local fair. What are you just blew in the town could be talking about anything from getting something to eat too being Fuckin cereal rapist, I was sampling some of the local fair. You know, that's, unlike Hannibal lecter would safety fuckin took a bite out of your neck, so anyway, so I went there and try to bunch a new shit And it seemed to work it did. it just or just a perfect showman that first show was just awesome right, not seeing the second one wasn't, but I had such a funny moment during the show where I'm in the middle of my act, The giants therein, the playoffs playoffs.

and die. I'm in the middle of one of my jokes, and I have no idea what's going on in the game. And all of a sudden, this guy, just yells out in the upper deck. He just go in the clouds fuckin, a rupture The chairs. So I immediately do the math and my san francisco giants it's fucking october. That's right, ive been watching some of the finest playoffs and I was like alright. I can't get mad at that. I can't get mad it giants fans you wanna, be watching the game, but you fuckin bought tickets to my show so yeah You gonna do a little multitasking there. So I said I to the one I was like: what ending is it. And the crowd starts yelling get out one, a bunch of people, a yelling, and you stand up on stage. It bowed these sound bounces off the wall behind you and it can be very. hard to understand what people are saying so What is it

Am I why? What did I do? I I can't hear you. Guy AJ, eighty eighty What is just fuck it all up your fingers and I kept yelled out and sound like there was saint eight echo. It sounds like you're, saying eighteen. What in just one person one person holding up seven fingers so like the seventh. and they were like a chain kept sounded like a couple of gold. He keeps I, like you, say in the eighteenth a minute. Andy excruciating seconds of this. until I find out. They were actually saying eighteen and was the fucking eighteenth, any. The national score to run and like the third fascinating go one did nothing,

then the giants scored one in the top of the knife to tie it up. While the bottom of the knights on top of the night. That's right, it was in washington. To tie it at one, the one and then they didn't score again until the fucker top of the eighteenth and they did the nationals, the nationals went. Fifty in fucking innings without scoring a run the giants, played a whole, not a baseball game before they scored another fuckin run at the. I'm fuckin believable. You know what its act enough. That happened in them. of July you'd want to kill yourself, but if it happens in october, it's unbelievable. you know, for as much shit is people get me as a hockey fan? Why do you watch the regular season? I does Even count everybody Super like four fuckin teams, it's like yet, but this exciting games there loud to fight. Ok, these great things that can happen. You know based

while on the other fucking hand other than the beginning. In April, we excited because it's a new season other I mean it's just it's fuckin brutal until you two a october and I would put baseball lay offs right up, lay offs. I put it up there with any other fuckin players. I actually what I love october baseball, This is the best time of fucking your october play off baseball. National football league, the national labelling, has been gone on long enough when you start to know who's gonna be competitive in who isn't and then he's coming up, and I right after at basketball, fucking believable. it's unbelievable. My wife is perfect. And I actually watched that, for first god knows dodgers game, I didn't see game too. I watched game one and I was

I am one hundred percent convinced that donnie baseball is cursed. I mean they had their race. that car I watch based, but I'm not fucking idea- and all I do is I I just keep hearing about this guy that he's Sickly haven't like a season better than paid. martinez, unlike nineteen. Ninety nine, I'm like I gotta, watch this guy and die. I start watching the game, nl. The dodgers had this debt, unbelievable right field or he's like fuckin willie mays on steroids, not literally steroids, but you know people just bigger. Now and so he gets drilled in the fuckin arm. When he's up, there I guess the cardinals were doing that shit last year saw the sudden the next guy comes up. Their first basin is like my height, it's in the face of fuckin, some guy named Benjy, annoying His name anymore, they start I could scream and at each other,

I was, I was totally hooked. I was into it the fucking dodges- were up sixty two. going into the seventh and eighth fuckin any right. I think Clayton kershaw is the name of the pitcher. I have no fucking idea, but now they all have beards and all that crazy shit. They all stole it from the red sox who stole it from the homeless, guys right and I are. They got their fuckin ace. was it sixty one and sixty to go forward. Fortunately, the decadent game is over. all the sunny loads up the basis is it bingo. Sixty three there's another single sixty four donovan. What comes walking out like dope, what the fuck are you doing in the little bearded undergoes a not be able to grow a man's beard, but I know how to get out of his pocket any right. I'm only

The one hundred pitches I won, the CY young award, I won, every fucking award you can win is a goddamn pitcher. I got this Donnie Donnie baseball makes the right choice at the fucking lonely. This is, move to make we when game one, we gotta, do it on your arm. Right fuckin comes up. This other fuckin do towards the worst fucking sports coverage. Ever I dunno anybody's me. He fucking is it's a god. There. double that just clears the basis. Three run score. sixty five sixty six. Now it's seven, the down by a fuckin run and they got a man on second now, A baseball comes out, pose fuckin kid brings in fuckin poker, comes in serves above fuckin made ball

all right, that's gonna, be the Saint Louis spoken announcer. These or two more runs, it is now nine to six. they started getting sixty two up for fuckin runs with the greatest pitcher of the last fifteen fucking years by the end of the evening. They, down by three runs. How does that happen?. Not bad I'm running for the dodgers to win So many times that I love this year, kansas city, you gotta, love that their back and if the baltimore oriels you're gonna love that their back in it. You know. dawn don mattingly. You gonna want that guy to want a fuckin. You know when a ring in any get the giants. A man in all they just want to me. I like seeing a fuckin dynasty however, the fuck they would be called its great writers lot contains the route for, and then that sitting

Ah, suggested that maybe the cardinals steel and signs from second base in that they have a reputation for doing that. I found out that's not illegal. It's like a fucking love these guys. even was illegal, that's the kind of cheating that you gotta respect you now Look over your fuckin neighbours paper and their smarter than you are. You know Are you really cheating? Are you just delegating power. Anyways. What the fuck I'm talking about. So I watch that whole game side myself, I just if I can believe in the thing about, don mattingly such a class act and just sit there expressionless end, you know it's just ribbon is broken heart out. I want to see that guy get a ring, so got their bad if he doesn't, I see that the royals or the euro because when I first started watching play baseball, it was

with the royals would always when the west and they could not get past the yankees and then there was when did they ve all? If I got by him and nineteen eighty and then lost to the phillies with pete rose at first base, driven the ball up to the pitcher on the fuckin asshole and die. When the orioles You see, I saw them when it ninety three and now the first world series or the third. Workers at a watch- ninety nineteen, seventy nine euros worth of I read so I was hoping the pirates going to win the one game. Playoff or maybe I could have a rematch in nineteen. Seventy nine and then they'd bring back we family, WU, HAI, who sorry Anyways. So I watch that shit saw that I'm unwritten for rod, Donnie baseball so anyway, so I'm I'm watching that shit. Then I go on. I got. Do my show smoke a cigar,

and when the greatest things you can do after you smoke a cigars besides, take a fuckin shower garden with mouthwash for an hour is silly wake up with their taste in the back, you throw. If you have access to a steam shower you go down. take a steam, you take a steam in your pocket, sweat out all the impurities. and die. And yet you you got to go, you got you fucking jumper, at a cold, shower lotta people, to take a fuckin steam yeah? they fuckin go into the steam, sweat, they're, fucking nuts off and then they walk out now stand there, I got its eyes shit. They just stand there if I can go back in Back out and then they go, I got one more session in mean fuckin go back in again morons, Fuckin morons, aright design Esteem, you just stay in there for like ten minutes. That's all you need an azure in there for ten minutes, be wiping the fucking sweat offer you

Your body is, is waning, sweat, its releasing toxins, your skin, Like a sponge, if you let it sit there on you, ok you fuckin reabsorbed, some of it. as your sitting there in the fuckin steam shower these fuckin I do that then you supposed to walk out of the steam shower in immediately, walk in and take an ice cold shower immediately. So your point, stay closed in you wash up as much of the fucking toxins that you sweat it out as possible, and you will feel like a fuckin million bucks, ninety do just be in the war. The ice cold water for, like you know, whatever six seconds long? It takes you to fuck, it behoves off your body, and then It turn it on to acceptable temperature, and then you got to go.

I always wear flip flops, so you don't get fucking planters, warts or athlete's foot or any of that fucking awful bacteria. That's that's it's in the goddamn. You know thing there right so anyways. The fuckin. I was going to say so we fucking go there, it isn't. I I walk in one with laugh head and I walk in to see if there's anybody in the steam shower and I walk and there's the yeah, the site Which is just the dry, he and I in there and there was this asian dude come completely fucking naked. here the decency to put his arm in front of his junk, as I walk by kind of like bert reynolds when he did the fuckin the play girl. whatever the plague, earl centerfold or whatever the fuck. He did so Like our god got a naked a nation we got a nation in their life,

and would just let them he's sitting there, but ass naked on the fuckin seat. That someone else has to sit on. fuck it unbelievable, so meal I had you, know, cause I was walking and make sure that the steam was on. So then we fuck and come walk back in and ass. We walked back in the the naked asian nation there is had gone, into the shower. He knew that take the cold shower ages comes walk out completely fuckin naked eye. So I'm I think there is always the fuckin naked guy right So then I yeah- I opened the sauna not know, and I fucked up As we go, that's why don't you go back to the lock as we change now we're walking back and will laugh at about the naked asian dude and rising returned the fuckin corner. Go into the sauna like the fuck. Truman, shell for people,

walk in front of us and go right into the sonnet this little fuck that mean esteem on this little ass, fuckin steamer and they all talking go in there and I'm thinking, maybe maybe they'll be enough from when I open a door and then I'll just fuckin sit near it just now A scar packed house, whatever these guys were just being if a timid, so me lie ahead, back and we just sit. There were laugh and about the naked agent is right. story. Short these fuckin jerk off are goddamn. A steam room and they're doing that shit with a common hour or so for good, hot and then drinking water, letting it all reabsorb, and they going back there in their full. Like a fuckin, half hours of finding me lie had like fuck, we gotta go in the You know we wanna go watch the football. What the fuck are we gonna do. You know what our options yet all twenty sweaty ball guys in there or we what the nation

And in the sauna, so we save wealth. Make an age and guide left. At least we thought he did So there we go into the sauna. Comes fuck and walk in back naked it, but now he's got a fucking towel on now. He sits down me J, a fuckin wherein towels. Thank god. Generally, making. They come from a polite culture, so he leaves the tao alonso. I'm thinkin! I write what good here we're fuckin good here, I'm sitting there and the sauna either that the sun is an hot enough, so the door clouded up. So I just sit now we can see right out the door and all of a sudden, this other naked guy, completely fuckin naked, comes walk out of the state. Fink thing just bought ass naked. standing there like fuckin will feral in old school at the water fountain. Bending over gettin a god they drink and me a j just laugh when our asses up stairs.

down to the floor, go what the fuck is going on and then take it asian guy, crosses is fuckin legs; instead, crack in his toes. in the ungodly sat silent in this fuckin sauna, as it's fuckin will feral ass is in front of us. Would you I can't possibly right so more sitting there. We got this delicate said the window is in fog up then this Back in world war to vet comes what can by completely flock and naked. You know the greatest generation they never put a towel on. He comes what could walk and by all men balls and dick and everything, and we have that this point, which is fuckin they wake me, does not the duty to start laugh. and another guy comes walk in and he has a robot another topic shit and he goes into the saw. It goes into this theme in finally, like look. If we just Oh fuck, a walk in there will never be able to take esteem and I fuckin hey the sun. I don't like the dry he'd like the other thing, so we We can walk in there

I, and as I walk in, I see a place where I can sit down. This is all fogged up and I see out of the corner of my eye. There's someone else sitting there: no towel on dick and balls hanging out. So I go to shoot the guy a dirty look and who is it it's the naked asian? I thought it he didn't he glared gotten a shower. The fucker went back in their fuck, nightmare scenario sittin in there. Alright The welfare naked due to firefox or the naked asian me and J lie at its sitting in their right at the football guy Now they are run in their yapped We killing any sort of relaxing just sort of children out areas. Relax issue can be with vulcan. You know now guys all around you and they sit near they get a former athletes talking about ports in some sort of benefit that they would do it, our man, Arizona was unbelievable. Just hawkers everywhere people draken blah blah blah blah blah guys tell the story: it was some sort of benefit

Kids in the attic goes, you know what it's all about, the kids, all about the kids fuck it Jerk off starts the story talking about hookers. anyways long story short it just being the two of us in there and which is laughin, are covered balls off. I've never seen I've never seen it like TAT ever look like you got any sort of fuckin Jim, any sort of locker. There's gonna be the naked guy. The guy just stand there right And for you, ladies out, that you'd probably think they're well, it's gotta be the well endowed guy showing off his fucking goddamn mule right it. Usually isn't it you just fuckin, some average guy regular fuckin. User friendly deck just stand there. Yet up like that in a package that they always make when they're like sculptors make. You know They never make like a fuckin huge dick statue. They don't

they just draw regular dick, that's what it usually is and is usually one of any just If they got out, is always one why the fuck? Does he fucking? Not notice? Is the only fucking naked dude in here Jacob, itself, but there's always out one guy. Unless you go to the, why m c a is usually about three, because is older people there I never seen a fuckin dick and ball Splay like this. in my life. I'm fuckin believable we would How can we were waiting for? What's his face? Uncle melted come walk in it. Anyways. that's the dick and paul story so ploughing ahead here, oh, I actually said that I was gonna. Tell you fuckin a goddamn, creepy story here wrap this podcast up because I get or Billy's gonna day job now

Tell you what I'll read the rest of the advertising and then I'll laugh I'll. Tell you this fuck. Terrified story that I read while on a plane are right, so detail. fine story that I have been teasing, teasing you guys about over the last couple of hours. minutes here so anyway. This shows what great efforts in san francisco and dumb we're flying back. And my wife bought vanity fair. I think I don't know it's the magazine were robert downy junior is on the cover any looks like he's, leaning out of the port hole of a ship, dressed in a tuxedo You think I they they re, making the titanic it's one of those so she says: hey you aren't you know. I'm a fan, obviously guys unbelievable fuck an actor,

She goes hey. This is a great article. You ought to read it. So I'm looking in the table of contents. You know it's one of those magazines. You gotta go by fifty pages or advertise advertisements before you know you, to the actual story and swept the table content. So I found the table contents and there was this story about this flight there. flying from Brazil to paris france, and it was time about technology in and out Just basically fell out of the fuckin sky, because the pilots was the perfect storm of not communicating getting confused a malfunction. and in the the the system. And these guys not being able to recover. It was on you know what the malfunction was. Basically they were flying out,

the the captain. You'd only get an hour sleep, anyone to go. Take a nap there's something storms or whatever else Storm clouds coming up the flying of thirty six thousand feet, and this guy wanted to climb up to thirty eight, which is basically the ceiling that that plane could fly at safely. At that point, the ears better than I would soon that the engine has to work too hard to suck in the air suck squeeze bang blow whatever the fuck. They say how jet engine works and they said that the guy sounded nervous. It was this weird thing with a guy had like that. Pull pilot had like over twenty five hundred hours, which is a significant amount of time flying a fuckin. This. type of an airplane, but most of it was just sitting there while it was on auto pilot- and this was kind of the point of view of the the article where I'll, just through the whole time

I aviation back the day. You just had stick and roger guys and they just flew the fuckin thing. And then gradually they worked in these automated systems and the pilots were arguing stem saying: there's nothing better than a thinking human being and then these automated systems got so good that the basically it's, then everything went through the floor and it became way safer to fly And the automated systems took over, but now they ve got to the point where the thing that they can actually be dangerous, so basic, What happened with the captain went to go. Take him happened, and then this other guy goes and he sits down and there are miscommunication as to who the pilot and command was. Who was in command or whatever and didn't

and have sticks anymore up there? They have like a joystick that you move and then the system interprets the movement. Like not instantly, there has to have that split second, where it interprets it and then it it acts on whatever movement you did and. The sticks came the joystick can't move. At the same time, I say if both people and both both seats up there, if one was to move the joystick to the right and the other was to move it all away to the left. What the computer would do with split the difference on the movement- and I don't know it just. Basically, all that happened was they went into this storm the air was cold enough with a water droplets had formed in the ice crystals in it blocked their peter tube. The peter tube

as you know, is on all aircraft adjusted to that points towards the front of the aircraft and, as you fly the air is coming in it. That's how you figure out your airspeed, so what happened. Was they flew through this ice ice into the peter to it froze it up, so the air couldn't go in any more. So they no longer could they lost there there airspeed indicator, so They immediately lost that and they had the lights on in the cabinet there out over the ocean. must have been there. Is there not been any moonlight or anything? So basically couldn't see. a horizon are right, but they had to do was just look at that level plain think that just let you know if you level or not and for some reason when they lost their airspeed indicator

then lost all faith in the entire fucking system. And the nervous nellie guy who want the climb you know, Of the storm play you wanted to fly at the absolute height. his immediate instinct was. He started, poland that are moving the joystick back and if you lose all faith in your instruments can you don't have any horizon to look at you, don't know where the fuck europe and is due panicking. So he pulled the stick back too far, and I got to the point where we're gonna stall. and I forget such a long fuckin article- it's really involved, so he They start the other guy such go. Nowhere you dont worry, don't do it To do this and he starts moving his thing

the computer is going dual input, meaning that both moving the fuckin thing, so they start going up and down and they think basically the fuckin nervous. Now he pulls it all away back and they, dark feeling, the that the airplane starch rocking and that's that point where you gonna stall, because. At that point. The airfoil is so far back you're gonna lose lift, and if the air is just tumbling over the tides, like all the sun, now you might as well have a fucking to pieces apply. Would. like flying into the fuckin wind so Start losing altitude, so they see that they losing out to their basically starting to fall out of the fuckin sky, they want kills. Me is in part of this as they started to drop this basically fall out of the fuckin sky and not recognising the sound of of of

basically is the. Is the heirs rolling over the fuckin win out over the wings there that they were starting? They were gonna stall. They were so when they head. Looking at the fuckin scream What the fuck with existing scorn haywire? Where are we? They panicked, and this What guy kept poland back? He pulled back the fucking joystick. So far they almost got to a forty six degree angle. They said it was so far back that the computer didn't even recognize. That is an issue but that would be possible because no one would do it so much up saying stall. That thing you know or paula pull up its, though not wouldn't say, pull up there. It stop war but they were gonna stop. So quiet and they literally just falling out of the fuckin guy they were falling it like. Ten thousand feet per minute. At one point, ok do the fuckin math it like thirty. Six thousand freed up their falling tend to either three minutes before you can hit the deck right

fucking guys do One guy goes no level the nose level. No, so he goes the level it off. From forty six degrees to start bringing back down to something that the computer could actually understand and as he brings it down again, it starts going stall stall stall. So he pulled Against all would stop saying that shit the call in the captain and the captain finally goes up. There now he's come in the middle of this fuckin crisis. He doesn't well what's goin on here they had no power I was informed that the people too was frozen point. They had lost so much altitude that Put down into warmer errand it in an unfrozen and it was thickly airspeed indicator was actually fucking working they had no faith in it. And these guys were basically falling. The fuckin sky, and this is the scary thing when they get to twelve thousand feet. That was the last moment that they had where they could just. Pushed the joystick forward and started

dive and that day- at the speed that they were falling, that they would have had enough time to try to restart those engines in fucking, pull them come again, basically buzz the surface of the fuckin water. and ass? They could they were fallen at one point- fifteen thousand feet per minute and the whole thing they just basically pancakes into the ocean. In a perfectly they are point because they Peter tubes froze and because they panicked and because I guess most of their ours is just sitting there, letting something else fly the fuckin plain. I'd never heard this story, I believe it's in vanity fair. I can't believe I just said all this shit. I came to an end, cause I'm reading this. on a year on a flight I remember at the end of my flight, this baby face. Looking dude gets out

baby. Faced me, I'm forty six. He looked like he wasn't even thirty, no he's doing a simple flight san francisco to allay nice flip. Whatever you, we were flying commercial air. Flying all the way up there and yeah, but it was during the day. So that was one thing that was actually keep me calm on, like even if the peel tubes were to freeze up. This guy can still see the horizon and but anyway man was absolutely terrifying, and they were writing the dialogue, the shit that there was saying and every put the date. They would like describe what the plane was doing, what they should done, and then they would then they would right out the dialogue of what they did in what they said and I'm you do. My fucking heart was in my throat, so for someone who flies all the fuckin time. You know that wasn't a very fun article to be reading, shit. I gotta have this fucking park. Yes, I didn't give doing the questions for this week are really quickly. The patriots came back against the bangles.

And I know a lot of people are now going to go all the way to the other side. Oh they're going to win the superbowl and I don't think the patriots where the team that as to the chiefs, and another girl were necessarily that team last night there's somewhere in the middle, I'm hoping there more towards the team that beat the bangles, but I think we got a couple more brutal losses in us. He saw. Appleman reverse went down and I hate to say it, but he gets injured a lot the second he get injured. These fuckin scoring goddamn two three place, but he was amazing, derail rivers, even the fact that his honor, fuckin team, that actually cheering for that guy. You I couldn't. I was wrong. But I hate him because he was a jet he's twenty nine years old, why did it seems like is better the leak forever and he also looks like he's. Like thirty seven alright, let's, let's plough ahead in the jets Jesus Christ, J t s just yes jets there in a fucking bad way, man therein

god. Damn way. I didn't see that one ass. I watched the cowboys since which was a great game, I wanted. I, I saw a little bit of the bills game, big win for them. How about cleaver browns, coming back. and but the saints lotta great games as one o clock aims or fuck and in saying this week, but I gotta plough ahead here. Let me just read some of your questions and then I'll get out of here aussi with an idea. Bill. How about you shoot your next special in Australia? You draw huge crowds here and what was that as time someone shot especial down here,. Yeah you know what I did. This last went down south I kind of like taken him and placed on a lot of fun cameras? Do you guys have over that? You guys make movies over there to wait for us to make him for you. That would be my big Do you have the latest in fucking the technology? Because then, maybe you know, maybe I would die wouldn't

hey bill. What are you get on a plane to fly fourteen hours and have jet lag and then do you fuckin special, I'm not gonna. Do that. I will definitely be torn your country, though, will look in january, alright car! here billy oil rig, I get an old can learn to fix it. Every time I ask someone what make and model year I should buy. They give me horrible answers. please narrowed down to two or three cars from the late sixties. To the early mid seventies. There would be a great car to work on. I know there are tons of answers just looking for a place to start. I have a little experience with part. Repair, but not a lot. That's why I want to die right in and learn. Thanks will look You want to call you want to you what you I would ask Christopher Titus He could give you that answer, but I will tell you what I would do if I was. You are right,

what I would do is I would by an old fuckin engine right now, but I buy that fuckin thing that you, tat whatever that engine mount thing? Is that you can have not engine mount there, we can just have it on a rotisserie aright. And I would take the entire fuckin thing apart and real build that engine right. I might even do that a couple of fuckin times just so got it down that that's how I would learn dont go on. By a whole new for whole fuckin car just go by a fuckin engine just take the euro. What would you do you will remove the carburetor, then you get the intake manifold and he got the valve covers and you got the valves take all that shit off. Then you daddy, you fucking you your pistons right, I'm not go with the electrical or anything like that, but you always the camps After all, the way down the crankshaft,

he just start. All relieve you just put the thing back to fucking gather. The old shit, although probably they'll, probably ever, for I'm trying to get some of the shut off. He might break something, but I would just do that and I would by. If you could buy a force cylinder, I look it's the same way. I learned how to tune drums. You start with the smallest drum that had the fewest amano lug soul was easier to tune. Could you could make that many mistakes? So I would actually five you can't buy of old for cylinder engine at a junk yard I would buy six cylinder. Then you up six cylinders, you gotta worry about, or you can is by the eight cylinder. Then you gotta do everything eight fuckin times and you gotta that much better at it. think once you fuckin tear down an engine and then just build the thing back up in. If you did a couple to three times, I mean, that's the way to go to three times as by an old engine by the whole, can kit on. replace everything. go through the hell of fucking getting it apart and shit,

stock and frozen at all. Goop together get that I'll fuck Think torn apart and then rebuild the thing make all you fuck him thanks and then do it again and they do it again and then do it again and then do it again and then go out by the fuckin car. You want to buy. You know I didn't even vital piece of shit fuck an engine for a couple hundred bucks. and then go by what I forget. How much do I was gonna do this? If I ever had fuckin time in my life, I think that that's the way to go about doing it rather than by The whole goddamn car. This can have all kinds of other fuckin problems. If you just learn how to do. Basically, the heart the goddamn engine. I really feel like all of a sudden. The rest of the car is not Be nearly as intimidating, Maybe the transmission could get along a little scared but that's another thing to go out by a fuckin transmission taken it apart, rebuild it put it back together. Do it again, do it again, do it again.

Sorry, the yard, batteries crap from me. There are now fuckin late and I gotta get going here so yeah, that's what I would do. If of. If you want to learn how to takes up a car. I mean that's, that's that's basic. What I would do, maybe if you know people who were in cars gear heads out their vive, we know better way to go about it. Much. I'm sure you do that's basic what I would do, but if you are going to buy a car man. I don't know I would maybe what those cars I always had the slant, six, that every says like the greatest engine and the easiest thing to work on You know about things like right in a row: wallace black plugs all that stuff is like right. There. I would work my dodge. Dart setting usually had those the lower level models. I don't know, I'm not. I don't know cars to that level, but that is on mom. You know. I would like to do that at some point. Just now, the fire whole engine and then rebuild it and put it back together, unified

put it in something just sell it or something to give it to somebody else, because I think, school was held in order. Do something like that. I just had the fuckin time in my life and speaking time. I don't have any time you're, so I gotta where I got a job. For fear of thanks everybody! Listen to pakistan thanks! Everyone in san francisco look ridiculous amount of people that showed up had a great time- and I appreciate you guys listening to the new material- is I'm working about. I have any special as image before was up everybody and welcome back to the anything better pod cast an eye fell,

audition for bed angie, I am going into weak number five, as you guys can tell I am sitting here. Alone will not alone, we always have the the greek freak is always by your side. You know, he's a girl maverick at the beginning of top gun, one where I was. It was wolf man who is the one that was freaking out. Cougar could Come on hooker color, As a kid I never noticed problem was, he was just so as a shaken like once a matter as a little kid were like. Why is he staring at that woman and child in the you know? And now you realize but Andrew sandler says: oh andrew's, like gotta go gotta go get Paul, something's wrong We are here on bill. We have a weird weak right now guys, but we're never gonna do our picks, whenever not gonna do our pigs, but bill had to go and take care of a personal matter. I am going to the airport cause I'm going to europe, so we need to do these picks. This way, but don't you worry because we

thought out picks and we are ready to go. But before we get into the picture we have no, of course talk about The bed m g m are amazing. Sponsor bed m g m, as you guys know, we've been working with bed m g m now for our our second season will be used. Bet m gm lines to make all of our picks and why special offers, far listeners each week If you haven't signed up for bed m gm, yet use bots his coat bert. Couldn't The easier guys be you are, are ok oil I did do was use that bonus code and you'll get one hundred percent risk free up to a thousand on your feet, wager here is how it works. You gonna go to bed, am gm download, the app you're gonna say, up using bonus, colbert you're, you gonna deposit at. these ten dollars and place your first way drawn the game. You'll receive up to a thousand and free bets, which is incredible if you lose Even if it loses

just make sure you use bonus. Colbert be you are when you sign up and out. These are the best lines out their guys. That's why we use them now. So, what's gonna happen with this episode is you're going to hear my picks and they Andrew will cut any will hear bills picks ok have the lines even lower indifferent locations are doing the show together. We know exactly what is going on in the nfl. So last week I believe I will. I know I went to into because of the detroit lions and the box. drew me over, but I did get. Ah I did. The the who one for me, the the Who did I pick? I picked the charger, definitely one for me and the cap etc so, the charges and cowboys thought The lions we're gonna come How can I was gonna start three in all going into that buccaneers game, What can I say man? Maybe the chiefs are gonna. Make me my words. They went into

amber, be Brady after a lost box got back to back losses, so I but she went to and andrew to build one in three. having bill mighta went one in three ah but we will have all of that. You have all that information, so there you go bill goes one in three. I got you into. And are we looked at the we looked at the lines, so we will do our picks out for pigs now so. This is this. the last week, the law, and were kind of Close and similar now you got eight may have point lines. Fourteen point lives three point lines: seven, five and a half, it's a weird, weak, andrew. It's all over the place this week, but our so one of my picks you're out of my for I'm not gonna, say my first cause bill is gonna. Do his butt,

I don't wanna go with my first pick of this episode will be. I have to do I'm gonna, be there is the new york. Football giants, I'm on the field, guys I mean I'm on, field with my family in london to see my new york football giants play the packers by the way The giants are three and one they're gone against the juggernaut. Aaron rodgers, but here's why I liked the pic I liked to pick as we are getting eight and a half points and were in london, we're gonna be fired up. You control the clock would say: qualm barkley, you, let's say qualm barkley run on the sand. We win the game, I think there's a chance, but so you're saying there's a chance, but I think, The way we can control the clock with the running game if we could give him some protection there. Ah I like the eight and have points so I'm gonna take the new york football giants, plus eight and a half.

Me and my family there in london. For no other reason, one of the giants needs to listen to our pockets and say hey: let's do this for appalling come on man? He's gave his wife and kids are there. My daughter and sun are gonna, be in jerseys. What do you want to lose by nine aright This is where it gets tricky guys. Okay, this is where it gets tricky because, like these, These games, I said, there's a lot of. there's a lot of weird ones like the rams need a win because the rams around you know too into, but the cowboys clicking do I touch that I don't does build touch. I don't know the raiders one so did the chief steward touched I dont know what to tell you what I'm gonna do it. My second picked up. When I'm gonna, do it. My second pic is, Jacksonville! That's why I'm doing this kay it's hard to say the jacksonville jaguars with seriousness, but they were now game again the eagles dude

Fifthly, there were in the game as manufacture winning that game. Fourteen and nothing, then because comeback omelette Take the jaguars mine is seven at home, there were lost. You know my theory, a guy. To decent team. After a loss common home, their plan, the hapless, Houston taxes, I liked the jacksonville jaguars to bounce back trevor learns to have a big game. I, like the jaguars to win that game by a touchdowns I'm gonna take mine is seven for the jack's aright ah, not tat, in that one. I know bills gonna to touch that game. I'm just gonna, be a gentleman and let him take it. I think. I'm gonna. Take the los angeles chargers again on the road. Minus three herbert is fully healed. I'm gonna, the chargers going,

the cleveland when an that game by a feel go I loved that it's only three points: minus three, my third, pick will be the los angeles charges. healed, ribbed, a healed ribs, still herbert winds, that game summit to take that one and. for my final pic I will take. Oof, all my god, I almost just did something andrew in and I was like when you're about, to hit the golf ball and then you step back. You know and like you line up and you think it's right and then I just was like. I need to take a they're back. But take the thursday again omelette The broad goes at home. There are a loss. There's the theory. There is my fear, that's actually the perfect example of my theory you people, I don't know. I have a home. Coming theory and my home coming theory is exactly that: a good to do.

It's team, Kay. They lost a tough one to the raiders. The raiders needed a win. They got it now. Russell Wilson goes home again see indianapolis called again. It's a low lying three should the I could beat the calls by three in denver. Yes, they should. Those are my picks and right now? It is time for the what, before the Monday night, spanish, your son for the money, Especial everybody, and this Monday night, I'm not gonna lie it's a doozy. It is a division rival. It is the las vegas raiders common off their first win. Going into the kansas city chiefs, who keep winning and it is a seven point spread. The under over is fifty one. Ok ah right off the bat I liked the yonder right off the bat I like under fifty one. Ok, that's a lie. That's a lot of touchdowns! You know, that's

What's forty eight points is how many touchdowns is forty nine for right for tough, Downs is forty nine. Now, sir, seven touchdowns is forty, sometimes sense. Forty nine she's got a bad as my math fight. It is five times that is thirty five, so, while sets a lotta touch at seven total touchdowns, why I was thinking I dunno, why I believe that would be actually the way my math was. Unlike our twenty. Eight is four out of the house at that the two point: conversions and he had power hours yeah. I dunno what I was thinking too. That's thank god that that's why I don't help my son with his algebra, I okay, so I liked the under And and bill- and I are in agreement that I'll just read these days off for the Monday night special I like under fifty one- that's all such downs, even if they start seven too. I like that, so as

fact. Seven touchdowns can happen and we still when the bet, so I'm gonna take go under fifty one to start now: here's where it gets trip to the Raiders go in there and who's, a close game, which I think can happen. You think what are you again. Do you think the writers are gonna win? now I should like. The chief are wind and I think that is a good long out. I think the raiders look good. we're all legal eminem. they coming into to certain weeks where I'm like gather the can win this game. I am I right now. Religions, she how, in this game, by more than seven zero underneath thing, I think they worked out most their problems for now live in a play off. For now. You're talkin, about achieves yams The chiefs are work. Them worked, almost their problems and and and they're they're still that there still

lawson and make it happen over car in the fourth quarter. Moms gonna make it happen. Overcrowding. The fourth quarter, is definitely something that I think most people agree with, but here's the thing. The raiders cannot, this is borderline, I'm not. I want to go as far as same play off implications, but here's the deal The raiders are the readers of one in three do if the rate Here's a one in three: do with diversity Adams. This is a division rival bill always talks about those now When I see those division rivalry games, even one, both teams are bad like the falcon saint stuff, like that, it's always close. If the right, It has got one and for their chances of doing anything this year, a finished, so I think that they go in the game and we got better rods for our fans. I, like the seven points I like this having points if the raiders, I'm not saying there is gonna, win the game by any stretch, but I could see that

chiefs beaten on by a feel goal. and the raiders hang in there all well the raiders a kind of fly in high with their first, when maybe they think they might have figured something out. They were playing a decent team in the broncos. It better rods for the people, I don't know, I think car and avanti Adam start something this week. You know I think, everybody's taken the chiefs, which makes me not like it we're gonna go. We're gonna, take the points Andrew we're gonna, take the plus seven points, we're gonna take under fifty one and It will take. Ah,. I mean more homes. To throw one is not going to be great odds right. Should we do derek car to throw one if you think that dignan they're gonna covered them. He's gonna have that's. The gonna cards gonna Derek caught. I mean. If, though, if the under always fifty one, though I mean dared going to have to throw spruce, if you believe these release and he's got devonte,

Adams. I like that, I think Derek car to throw one will take the raiders in seven and will take under fifty one for the Monday night, special guys Abiola's. I really like that. I really like tat the only thing that would suck it starts out. Twenty one, nothing, but I like are to throw one like you said he almost ass to what go to view which covers you, put money on them covering and not put money on car thrown one. What that? That's! That's exactly right, and- and maybe Defences hold little to fifty one. That means vegas thinks this is gonna, be a big time shoot out, which is another reason why cars gonna throw one. But we're going to do that. So there you go. Everybody gets the money in special derek car to throw a touchdown, the raiders getting seven and under ah fifty. An overall points will be your Monday night special for the anything better bet on gm and nfl preview for weak number, five,

enjoy bills picks out with my first pick, o billy windless, the one when wonder one in three every fuckin weak. I like the tent see titans minus two against the washing commanders. I dont know why the sewing. It's only two points. I have no idea of dunno somebody heard on tennessee commanders- got there, checked against the eagles, and then they shut the bet against the cowboys, and I At the last week- and they forced me so so- fuck them because I'm paying- this is a petty back. Tell you right now! My is too I'm also on take I'm taking a cold cold they got there like they're still like this, like this delay, their their fuckin. Do when everybody thinks sal, you know, reggie fee is being the quarter Act now, reggie louis. Why cant remember his fucking name? The guy from seattle is the quarterback of the broncos. They think he's going to come in. What's his name? What's his name

It was so well said, thank you MIKE bertolini, at all things comedy, I'm gonna take the court's plus three. I mean, like the game, has even started. I already up three points. Why would I do that Dr easy, seven what the fuck are. I am also not forever take my new england, patriots minus three against the hapless, detroit lions. That's right, like you're! The problem is over there andrew them. First, I want the thing was a football guy and he knew football and they won three fuckin titles. Yes, they did. I regret that- that bobby laying guy gonna fuckin hidden the hooters, the first What is the original one in nineteen fifty three right having ever since then they keep passing down the family and evidently nobody taught them Kids? How to throw cause? They can't fucking run it. You saved my life. They said some point: they need to step up its outcome all family of jerry joneses, you know it

Like just shut up and let the football people did your pocket a facelift get out of here. so. I got tennessee mice to. I got the calls plus three: I got the patriots by history and you know what what's going on those dolphins is took to a tunnel, why is he come back he's coming back. Yes, now is supposed to point to. There was a concussion protocol last week that he or they she should have had gone into the prison italian. The coroner saying I doubted not talk again when here somebody, you know you dance with who brunner Yes, or less angels charges. Percy took that you ve got the son of a bitch I'll find area took it. Ah I don't Where do we go from here, sam? just go. What do you think mike?

they are going to go in it. It kept my party and everybody there with a minus five and a half go into carolina where they got baker, mayfield with something to prove what you mean. He's dog shit, the guy with the guy won a playoff game for the fuck. Brown, the customers. Looking does not yours. You are right. work is planned for the paths, Think the us, our the not taken the forty nine us because a guy from San francisco just told me so. I love italians, I can. I can lay off. You know I mean I just feel like: there's gonna be wine and some fuckin food or some shit. Are It also my picks, and what are we? who, for the Monday night special Paul wanted under fifty one, the raiders plus seven and card, throw one better. Aid is the raiders the jewels. They only for only three. This is make a break for the raiders right now. So that's why they

the case for that you now. You know They come out anywhere. Those white yours is with the silver numbers, everyone, it's a little more apt up and I think they come up. I think the cover they bought, something one from oakland. It's gonna happen this week. Yet no old school opened people, ok, not not not the fucking, now rocky horror picture shall rate offence. I mean yeah yeah, those fuckin the guys who stand those people, let the fuckin stones concert, rightly during those guys hint at eighty that's it! Those are my pigs, a gamble responsibly and and there we go mad- that site. That's pretty much what we got. I come back from the trip and bills back and everything is better. We will do be doing another anything better. So for all the fans asking what's going on, it's just been with bill doing stuff the project, my traveling now coming back in the middle of the month. That's what's going on, but the greek,

because on it. So while you guys region are gonna? U guys still don't? Yes, we're still doing it. We're just gonna finish out What we're doing well, don't forget, don't don't forget all commissioners that they can watch you on it. I saw my work in london. That's true! that's true for all the shit that you hear me talk on this and you know your boys Just your boys to get the nfl knows about your boy. Make no mistake about that. So or I will be on an official networks and of nfl total access on informed I'm filming wednesday night. So where it's, what is its six hours ahead? and I'm gonna beyond the eight o clock hours. So let's do the math on that yeah. It's five hour difference or six five. Ok, so it'll be around. I guess two o clock it'll be at two o'clock in the afternoon on Wednesday and it'll be Wednesday night where I am, but I will be live on there with the host Derek carr

I'm gonna be unknown. Derek car that sir, his brother, David car is one of the house so we'll be. Talking about that! Hey I'll! Even tell him. I took his brother about that and guys could check that out as well. Also don't get if you got a poverty, the poverty youtube channel, you can check my last appearance on on good morning, football or at least a segment on it with the Tom Brady stuff check out the work. The effect check out bills, money more impact as all the stuff tat. We have guys If you're listening to this right now and you're going to be in d c october nineteenth, I will be doing one night at the dc improv and then the next night on the twentieth I'll be at the philadelphia punchline or and if you listen to this inner in the uk, we added a show. so this Saturday night at ten p m in london, I will be at twenty one soho performing their there. You have, it does picks do not forget to download ok.

the bed. Mgm app use. It's called be: u r, R couldn't be more simple, are right and all you got it Do is put a minimum of ten dollars you're going to get up to a thousand dollars in free bets, and even if it loses just make sure you put in a bonus, called a b. U r, R and you will be able to bet that and get up to one thousand dollars, which is phenomenal. They have the best lines and I gotta tell you working with them. First, two seasons has been an absolute pleasure, so check out those lines enjoy your nfl. What football sunday and monday and thursday for weak number. Five. Let's go, let's see if we can norm

Get some windsor make you guys, somebody with demanding special as well. That is it for raw for us.