Hey, what's going on, it's bill burn is time for the thursday afternoon. Just before friday, monday morning, podcast and I'm just checking in on you. in a few you're you're someone who listens. Nearly two. This podcast, you probably think in yourself a bill. What's with the queen, glum, fucking, town. this is not why I listen to this podcast I listened to this podcast for laughs, Why don't you pick up the energy and dance you bald, or freckled monkey half everybody's asleep. Upstairs I gotta, I gotta be quiet here: Of orange monkeys,

you must have seen that fuckin video it was all over. The gram is kids call it the gram actually nobody's like on instagram anymore. Oh, my god, Everybody's on it's like all about tick, tock, tick, tock that was like so falcon two years ago, fuckin social media whores. People like keep. You know a motive, On facebook anymore, I just like a fuckin status thing now oh really is, Look not cool enough for you. You know they like the letters. fuckin jerk off club, kids. Other even clubs, anymore,. You know, or do you just go on amazon and your order, shit that you'd see in the club- and it comes right to your house- and you have your own club in your house a constitution that now everybody just fuckin,

tell you these goddamn kids, they are even fuckin. Go out go by toothpaste. Book in order it through amazon and in some fucking idiot pulls up a giant you ps truck in hand. You tube toothpaste,. It made is it any wonder why there is so many fat, fuckin, kids out their economy. Just a bunch of fuckin lard asses with like jack, zero percent body. at fingers from fuckin type and on a keyboard ordering goddamn cupcakes, they fuckin dead bodies were in this fuckin shaped their fingers are from, being pasted in hashtag and then what Thou Jesus he's extra grumpy tonight All these fuckin social media whores at what what pointy gonna get some self esteem. In just realized it you know it's just the same comments.

going from falcon platform the platform away. That way, the cool kids are now think about it think how many times you put on your hoary makeup and guy Friendster and then he went on fucking facebook and myspace they spoke open it up to everybody who the fuck parents ruined, do What could ruin facebook right. then why'd you go fine was at the next one. Twitter was somewhere in their eyes Calm explore our authority for your twitter. You gotta get on twitter fine to vines. The next thing duty on instant I stopped in instagram. I'm just gonna grow old with my followers uninstall like some fuckin old vegas act,

couple years, you just move down to a smaller and smaller room. To literally, you know, gets to the point people check into the hotel they can taken your show while they wait for their turn to get their fuckin keys. You stand and over there in the corner. I welcome the hairs. Was no chaise everybody. Congratulations. You hit rock bottom bottom right and then you fuck you making those jokes and then you get reprimanded. We got some complaints from some of the year. customers that you are making them feel bad about staying here. Do you have I went on there. Ya do have a comment on that. You have dollar craps right, stop acting like you, don't know what the fuck your attracting here, roaches skip this fuckin place because of a girl. Oh chaise,. should have called it. Oh Jesus, sorry

Oh chaise Was this fuckin casino, annexed ace toward the improvin harris way back in the day? There's no improv there anymore I used to work And this guy's to come on a fuckin unicycle with make up on. to that fuckin song n n, n, n, n, n, n, n, n n n. You already for this way way way way way way way. Just remember him in between shows nice is, can be just sit there. Fuck it make up on his goddamn, unicycle full of depression that I had to fight off because he was such a fucking, nice guy and I go with his fucking persisted the disco. Again and again, and he get out there: d be fuckin, hop and up and down on that fucking thing. Put in on this show. In other thing, we pettifogging backwards. You don't see it fucking tipp over.

Fourteen times I would watch a guy to shows tuesday too Wednesday to thursday, to friday to saturday to sunday. It was not a longer than that: fuckin weak, my god, my favorite time during weeks and harris was like this that, like I said good night on the second show This, like, oh, my god, let's get out of this fuckin casino. We're just go with the other. Actually would just get the fuck out of there. and how the unicycle guy was also you wouldn't hang with us forget. His name is a real nice guy. We betray in his fuckin, make up off as you would get re? Do you second? Shall I take it easy? He would leave you gonna. Do you fuckin show How can people gamble to survey shows were quick? There was the one thing ghana me get the fuck back on the floor.

You walk out in every once in a while. You just go next door. They're fucking, know chaise great thing about hazy. He issued a gamble like James bond. Many You could sit, therefore like a fuckin, our not go broke because it so cheap. The first thing I learned for some. I took my wife to a casino. I said play anyone. It was plain crabs or something a ruler. When I was dumb ass games. and you just show up and like within five minutes. You ve lost all your money and you like where's the power. I sit down my white tuxedo come over an hour for me a drink for nothing. When the fact is that happen Much money: do you need to have these fuckin places? You know so I to go to phuket, O'Shea's old chaise, oh Jesus, you sit there and fucking gamble for like an hour or whatever tat was boring.

a girl with a ceases to I've been doing it long enough. I out in vegas Before that tiger attack that guy They were across the street, sink free and roy, Racist souls were still doing shows when I first came out danny ganz. Was still alive, the amount, fucking people that died since I started up. Goddesses get dark. And then he already for this, that was, you, the like in the nineties. That was the let's get. The party started. for concern There was a few clubs just had these sums that they would play. art the shows, And they just fuckin played him for ever. and you'd come back? You know you wouldn't play the club for two years.

And they get ready to start to show and they play the same theme. Music, and you like this still play in this. Remember the comedy connection at Faneuil hall, used to play guitar instrumental, white cliffs of dover. would you believe, indubitable do, but you produce but you'll be deep. Indubitable indubitable jews is fuckin, when it was like a fuckin mormon. a virgin mormon, Twenty eight wives right would fucking if he wrote your tar. So that's what it would sound like it was just fucking arena. One it was was weird: It's like upbeat and happy none of the music. I was listening to at that time. Alright. Can you explain it was just like

If he has more to do with me than the poor bastard that wrote that fuckin song. I want to say that this did you have any pain in life like one fuck em, my listening to you right now, Those people are like so much for pain that his these things, I'm just can bring joy to people. But your brain. You hear that saw your brain just couldn't think anything after sitting then played that movie. They played that, like I was living in Boston when I started out side of boston. I saw him shit given back then you ever gonna changes change. This. sort of that we'd weeny may mean the fucking weird intro. We want some weird shit like that.

then it goes away, but nobody would you be able to do but doobie doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie, doobie, doo, doo I'll. Tell you fucking something like that re eyes through. Like three different booker's over as a he has ever going to change the song and they would just laugh figures me big deal out enough but they had no idea how fuckin depressing was was to leave boston, I'm back like a year later and finally get a gig there and theirs Still playing that fucking song. still have the same carpet? Everything got a little older wages. Just got older. I got older it just made. You about diet. You knew this part, it's usually not this fuckin bleaker dark, but anyways. All these fuckin social media whores reminded me back in the day when I lived in new york

was right as paris and Nicky Holden we're getting famous, and it was writing about these club, kids, these rich kids, of man had socialite stomach everybody down. There was like you wasn't it. The hiltons wang about what the fuck four season, kids in. May cease I can cousins or whatever, but like what But they were down there. I just moment were always struck me. So funny was. be a club and it would be the hottest fuckin thing ever. Everyone be a big fuckin line, the street ali's. Who is all these women dress like who? Is they like fucking prostitutes? Can you hear me remember back in the day, you'd see a prostitute, walking down the street. You would see him now you probably see him, but now they just drive. Everybody dresses like every fuckin brought out. This he's be and like em.

Walking around no goddamn closer. What are you talking about you? I don't know Talking generally speaking,. I mean you just they just sort of pushed it to the limit Are you can dress up a vagina seductive? to the point now? The only place to go is just walked out street, were just heels, But anyway spoken kids they be all about this fuckin place right and then all of a sudden the place across the new place across the street, would open up and in that way, the place and then the other, it's across the street slow would die. Slow death and it just like it's this, but it's? The same, jerk off you guys just all walked across the fuckin street. Just sort dressed up differently. Social media like that same fuckin, really bill

have you figured out social media? You freckled can't I like to think I have it anyway So the latest news in my life. the lights on my driveway right their liking. I go to my garage. I like em, lit up because he knows cow coyotes is a fuckin mountain lion. Enemy mean fucking live close by right. what I didn't even notice? This mountain have no fucking idea filled the fuckin hills. This dear is a dear that's, a bare steel. Fuckin sums eat nothing. What What is the purpose of a fuckin? Dear purpose of a deer, is to feed a mountain line or a bear. So if you see one of those fucking thing says why, if I see a bunch of mice- and she I bet, I noticed snakes- our economy, It like sliders for fuckin reptiles office. You see those things around.

I mean like this fuckin snakes here I gotta get out here. Everybody focuses on the mouse amazing, that's the worst. Your problem is that the mouse, the mouse sucks like a I confess to shut up. I've heard of you, my son, my fuckin house. In a day like not only they fast. If I can quite, is shit though Fuckin feet make no noise and they all ass, an It's not the mouse is what the fuck each. That thing so. If your mouse in your house eventually and of a fuckin snake, she have to catch that little cunt, whose Pushkin, who you have to hire somebody that is a fucking recession, proof fucking job right, rodent in pest control, I don't care what the fuck an economy is. People are not living with mice, then,

living with bugs than living with that shit. I don't a fuck if they have to skip the eat for a fucking, weak. They will prioritize getting somebody over there to spread it carcinogens into the air in their house. Knowing that you bigger, The fuckin mouse and the mouse is going to die and you eventually will too, but not for a long fucking time and you will live a mouse free existence while chemical? Slowly, do their magic do their job, which is to kill lily. They spray shit, I swear to god. They spread. shit in your fucking house that is probably banned by nato. You- you can't robert on a city, but he can drop it in your own house at take out some. fucking god. Damn rodents anyway. So latest thing

So I like Heaven, the lights, the driveway here I mean I want to see. What's gonna kill me Are you still my sense that there's something there My big fear. The ocean had said that it is sharks that I can't see them. That's what I dont like you economy. it's not that it's a five year anyway So I'm getting the guy to fucking lights. cause. I tried to do it and failed miserably. And the lights are just the cheap, Surely, as far as I know, we have agreed that this house, twenty years ago, but this was a flip is why finally fuckin realized Mr guy tells me he goes into my wall. Because yeah, you know, I am, did the light bulb and I took it out and light was still shining through the hole, and I was like what's going on here? Why am I saying, like any said, do you realize this wall is not really a wall.

there's no cinder blocks in here. This is like plywood. It's like a hollow wall that they put plaster over I swear to god. If I ever meet the fuckin guy. Like he's, gonna give a shit amid the guy you flip, this fuckin house at an hour was but my fantasy. I meet him. tell him what is always hard cheap foggy is. and actually registers in my fantasy any actually feels bad which a reality I would never happened. He would give a you actually get enjoyment, probably I'm assuming its a he because I'm progressive and I believe, women and women. Lie and when they flipper house they act. We put crete cinder blocks in the walls because- they are higher being sent us. Ok,

and when they shit on our beds. No, That. You was a man made them, do it anyway. Evidently, the celtics one tonight which I'm very thrilled about, but I did not watch one second of the game. Why bill I'll, tell you why cause I mention this. The bottom of the first of the red sox angels game the other day. in the arm they announced arrived down. O brien was ask me enough. I was gonna why I watched you, know the cell, in the final stuff, and I basically told them. That I lacked. the emotional maturity to watch my own team in the NBA finals. When kids are around, you know what I mean and,

It's like, I don't wanna, be playing shoots and ladders while screaming. I envy a referee conspiracy theories. You know bout that fuckin league. I do want to do it. I just had to make like a judgment here like what you wanna be her bill. Do you want to be a good father or be a basketball fed. You know those kind of a no brainer, I'm like I'm, I'm not watch the shit. Record the games, a final who wins. If it's a fucking celtics lose, I'm still gonna watch the game, but I'll watch it after. I know what the fuck's gonna happen and the now I don't have to die a thousand deaths in cities. Screaming and yelling, The fuck. Do you want to sit there. And watch the celtics. you know playing at our away game and just

Like hating, some random guy from fuckin san francisco in the crowd whose mining shooting a bow and arrow every time, fuckin steph curry, it's a three. I do. I really want to do that. To myself is making me happier. as a person. I mean if we win, I guess it does but like at the end of the day I don't like freaking out my fuckin kid, so I just like was like a minute. keep watching the red sox, I'm gonna watch game, fifty eight and it doesn't matter by the way red sox two games above five hundred of they won or lost tonight. But Considering whether how we were we're doing all right at this point just playing for the wild. Turkey of the yankees are gonna fuckin. do worse than seven in three. Return games, they play my southern a ball. If I could kill you. So yeah I decided I was not.

I was not watching that shit. I was like fuck it and I heard it was an incredible game, but I I enjoyed the experience of not watching it more. I think them it's really just the nba, because I can handle the lobby I can handle the nfl and I can even herald the nature. as much as the any child drives me, nuts, as a fucking weak but is just nothing like the nba. Like watch like. I really feel like the roofs through first for games, their job is to make sure it's too too, and at that They're gonna kind of let em you know whatever this point. We know it's gonna go six. So let's the over about what the fuck is that we're doing here

and then they saw let him play a little bit. I mean just when you just look at like some of the fuckin. the games throughout the years. I can anybody like objectively, look that game. Seven in two thousand and nine The lakers played the celtics and they both thirty somethin files on this. celtics, unlike in the tea on the lake or she just can't fucking. Do that. In a game, seven, unless the other team is literally taken out to buy for in fact, smash and people over the head with it and they weren't they It's just they called take high tech shit I'm over there Kobe got shut down that game. He, terrible fucking game and in the fourth quarter he shot fourteen free throws

Rest, his soul, one of the greatest of all time. Ok like I watched him. Take unguarded shots, From the following, and it was like. it was even basket by most will just watch the fuckin shoot around. It had mobbed oppressive. Had all this shit, they everybody just fuckin like Look the other way aware. Whatever I you'll never get me, for that. Ledge that, like did you n a n officials literally dictate the pace of a game speeded up, slow it down. It's fucking. I don't know how you watch that sport. My head is off to anybody whose die hard and be a fan. And can just sit there. Year after year, watching those rafts just fuck in you, if there is no other sport.

There is no other falcon sport. With a raft conscious, five, there were no fuckin mood. If there's a guy on your team they don't fuckin like like, the game. You're gonna have to play. to come away with the victory. Every that's fucking, Allen, iverson story. Alan iverson, I forget what he said, something about the edit nba officials and then they just started calling him like can three games in rome for games a row. They just column for carrying and traveling all that shit that he was doing every night. After the third and fourth game, He looks at one of the red sea. Just goes. How long is this going to last. The guy goes. How long is what gonna last and he was you know what I'm talking about and the guy smiled, and then it was it. They. They showed the authority they had over him and he had to get his mind right, like fuckin cool hand, luke.

And then they let him plays game again, but just like the adults don't know well, that is another sport where you, you can that effectively, over a star player like the NBA website. I'm done. I'm sorry right. Maybe I'm wrong: maybe I'm just a guy who wield thirty. He purchased a house that was built, prob, We ne found out that it's actually fuckin made out of legos. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe nothing to do with the rest, and it just has to do with the fact that you know I'm putting lights in a wall, so I can see I always and fuck him outlines that if they had half a fuckin brain would realize they could just sort of just pushed down my wall anyway, if they wanted to. If they really wanted to. We could fuckin organize, you know mean.

get a little bit of luck and respecting the goddamn lives anyway, Speaking of social media is watching this fucking clip of this gorilla fuckin. it met a gopher or some shit. I dunno what the fuck it was: an army and a gopher like on a construction job I fucking dragon the falcon. A goddamn rushing goes out to the fuckin carpenter. The top. God knows. I did that goddamn job I mean I can actual gopher real one. So the gorilla meets the thing right anyway, super like gentle with it. It was like guinea. Slash also gonna, like apprehensive like existing in a bite me. in all these assholes we're talking about all these animal lovers. You think like sharks have feelings. Have you seen those videos

someone takes a fish are caught up a fuckin sharks, mouth and then, these videos of the sharks swimmin up to him. and being like hey man, I remember you maybe you thanks for taking that shark, that fuckin fish- oh god, oh my god, damn shark mouth. And like everybody's dislike. See the sharks have feelings. and I'm just thinking like well. Ok,. But is that a real friend. I give you didn't: do that form that shark would try and fuckin eu so, like that's, that's. That's the kind of person a shark is. it's like? If you don't help me out through a hardship in my life, I will buy your leg off when you're in the ocean yeah

I dont think I need some like that. My life, but I also don't get mad sharks are respected. Spectre, territory, I'd really in my heart to heart. True We believe we have no fucking business. being in the ocean. Other than frolicking along fuckin coast but we should be dumping. Our shit out there we should be living with it but the solution for and. You know if you're scuba, diving, arousal you're an asshole like leave them alone I've, just fuckin with you guys from just fuckin terrified of the ocean like tiring I'll fuckin, kill if divers. I I it's like Jesus Christ. It's like How bad or you talking to women. They

after fucking cave dive I mean just so. You have something to talk about. Hopefully somebody talks of a. That's right, sir mikey. Might your sit over there? You know that he does cave dive. You know, like women, don't give a fuck about that. cave dived in your fuckin found some buried treasure. It on a regular basis than all the wars would come running. So cynical, it's just really said tonight I don't know why. So beautiful forty to fifty today. Four wheel drive saw a white eight that data offer more colors have two fifties. You I mean therefore fifties have all the facts colors, but every one of those fuckin trucks for doors. I hate I fucking hate, afford or pick up

don't forget. The second fuckin giants station wagon, simpler the cap on the back. Then you a little stupid. Six foot bed. what are you put half an el sheikh couch back there like what the fuck is that for. You don't get a four sudan or by a fuckin truck. I will go to my grave seen. A fuckin pickup truck is two doors with a bench seed in an eight foot. Bed. Unless you get older, he had there are, then you get the fuckin the tools with the bench seat in the six foot bed and then that drugs for like hot riders and unlike old guys, that's it truck version of like the three wheeled motorcycle. You will see there Some old hell's angel scan around till he dies, but now he's just escaped fuckin, so Ignore of issues go down both legs, so he's gonna. Have Fuckin tripod day rolls down the street.

Right on two wheels were ones ready, fuckin, braided, ponytail spock, Tattooed wife, with a fuckin skin damage, still showing tramp stamp upon a shadow to women who still have tramps stamps, who didn't get covered up? Who aren't embarrassed they came of age in the nineties, we have the courage there attached to lead the world know that they backed into a lotta dick when clint was in office, I respect them There are still some retail here. I'll look good as everybody I would simply safe. Simply safe like running a three wheeled motorcycle I ain't fenders by the way

I felt like they ruled out those things, when they said the hunter. Eighty see that used to kill like fuckin twenty kids in every time when I was growing up, simply safe everybody. You know guys. You know: I can't breathe you guys know. I love the break in protection that my simply safe home security system gives me yeah, I got one of the cameras ran my card board fuckin wall but it's not always out. Forces that you need simply safe protection from meat, Amy. A me what the fuck happened to you It's someone breaking that was related to you. Why cameras inside your fuckin house made simply save customer. In a chronic sleep worker who lives near for lane highway. Holy shit Was she wherever fuckin problem before she fuckin

sign that lease Jesus Christ, I'm suicidal. I just bought a penthouse fuck, an apartment, one night a few months ago she slept walked out of her bedroom and then continued right out the front door. wait, a minute. Did she unlocked the door at what point? Are you awake. It is a dangerous situation to every other, ever fucking dated a that sleep walks has gotta scares. Scary thing ever so I can do that chick from the ring Oh, he is here's, the most obvious sense. Copy. I've ever read that It's a dangerous situation. She could have been heading for a big acts and can you imagine driving on the street if I can have asleep after we're, gonna double shift so fuckin white chick comes out. Your fuckin.

dress like ebenezer, you know you'll long shirt, police work with that fuckin, just walkin barefoot. muttering to herself. I want to say there was a horror movie star like I wish she could have been head for big exit locally as she walked out of her house. The simply say entry sensor on a front door triggered. The nine five Debbie's decibels siren in the his station. That is loud damn right. It is loud enough, in fact, to wake her up for while she wandered into the street or some other trouble. Oh my god, poor woman. fuck, you you go to sleep after that you to an air raids, sirens standard in the shrubs. hey me. You get old time this morning.

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Did she should have like one of those fuckin leashes back in the day Have the dogs in the backyard they go running right? after you, they reached the end of their leash and fuckin yank, backed by the neck. simply saved our com slush bird S, I m P. L, I say if he dot com, slash, bur are right, and with that does the podcast. Here everybody.

I hope you enjoyed it. That was a fun. It was a stupid move. Yes leave the page, how many times I'm going to click on this shit. Please enjoy the music and there's going to be a dunno. What a bonus episode of the thursday afternoon just before friday, monday morning, podcast after that, so you can get another half hour of content. Okay, see that not all redheads have the spawn of the devil. Don't ever forget that, but I wouldn't trust us. Alright have a great weekend to constantly check in on the conversations kill, faster, the hey, what's going on it's bill Barr and it's the Monday morning. Podcast

for monday, jus knife, two thousand and fourteen one day before my fuckin birthday, happy birthday, to me happy birthday to me. He happy. you read: freckle caught her people, a day. who are you. You fuckin dose. What's going on? How are you I've watched, Just sports this week, that's all I did that's all, Did you know me times I sat through the national anthem, all whoa wall wall, whoa, whoa, everybody conversion of it? You know go with harry, carry just sing. The goddamn sock judge,

can get on with it does drop the falcon park grow up. The basketball drew out the first pitch. We do like a tradeoff like every other game. We just say we pledge allegiance. Can we do that we could all murmur it in the crowd. One word: we were glued to the flag the shades of america onto the road for which it stands. I got choked up there, one nation under god, indivisible individual, individual. I don't know liberty and justice for all europe for most people dead? others more so than dead did not get out In an hour, and yet our skin color and what family you were born into what part of the country right here As for bankers, you don't your parents, but a fifty thousand dollars for a plate of fuckin trout. obama, railways, whatever whatever those fuckin politicians, do.

Those filthy, stinking destitute, tell you they're all about you. Fucking lies right. We're all liars aren't we now speak for yourself I'm behind on everything I don't know. What's going on in the world. I keep seeing this shit about the fucking. I thought I I thought that this Joe. Don't do this to me. This fuckin computer come on man what is this, this burg doll. Isn't there like also place where blake burgundy, that everybody's freaking out about I really Pay attention to london. National and international events the way my wife watches sports, which is you just sort of work by the tv and if the same kind of, if the same athlete design enough show just Like all good taste, good, do that with international stores. I go.

That's a lot of people are talking about that those I guess it was an embassy. There was bombed. Jesus only, I want to fucking, read the national news to this burg, doll guy that he says day, I'm ever At some point, there was some fuckin guy. Look like yours. On doug dynasty speak in arabic and everybody got all freaked out, no bhamo stand there look and uncomfortable, and I get some guy get released. from president everybody's fuckin, mad cows. His dad spoke out back at the white house and claim the white house. You see the guy this guy, They think just claimed the white house for islam, this guy look like a giveaway. that episode of honey bubu, where the people were all sittin. In that fuckin room One light bulb bidding on food that had already expired bet. That's what this guy looks like. I don't think you,

how can I don't think the white house has anything to worry about. You know everybody just fuckin relax the guy they said they stuck a shark cage. He saw fuckin like out of it from us. Captivity? He's call like it's just basically cage shark cage on a fuck with the times. then get ashore cage euro in the of afghanistan. Christ, what they drag that thing in from the fund black sea, I mean come on people tippy wage staff over. You know something the fuckin taliban works out on a jungle Jim. As far as I remember from the less newscasts than I watched above fifteen fucking years ago or mary was ten, I don't know they work.

Run a jungle Jim way way where the fuck are they gonna get the money for a shark cage to have that think flown in the afghanistan like they have some sort of international airport. They have won. We built it right. We build so we could land there. You know. Try slap morale and give my backing to K of seed to let him know at the good life's about right see their courageous or commercial love kentucky fried chicken with parents are all excited, because the two radically. what's it still at the dinner table,. But they got him. This fuckin chicken. And they feed into the basically very suddenly saying that these drugs in this chicken that will make Spastic, children, chill the fuck out spastic, I mean, like you know, that's not the way they mean it over there in great britain, you can't say: the comedy, so you can say it calmly, club overrun sky. But you'll have a rough idea of a rough go of it. If you say the kid was spastic over there,

That means like severely mentally challenge over they are just means: you're not gonna get laid tea, twenty six when you are go looking over a fuckin cadaver. Right with some other falcon nerve right you just sit there go on. You know the ankle bones connected to the knee bone right today. This made any sense. What shouldn't it's fuckin sunday night, I am spent, I gotta. once you shall have to do tomorrow, so I gotta do it tonight item my game, her I gotta. Do I gotta talk to the right you guys tomorrow, one of my favorite radio shows out there. I gotta talk to them tomorrow morning when you as you probably hit listening to this, have already done it too. My show in atlanta at the time her neck to shows I'm tape. Yeah for my next stand up special, I gotta tell you. I've got a lot of she thought a lot of and got a lot of fuckin eyebrow raising when I've been talking,

the committee's way tabled, I got Lana, they laugh really a good crouched down there. They get great fuckin crabs down there, too Even better show because I'm gonna be going to I mean I wish I was going even further into the south. You know be a great special should taped it like fuckin, making georgia and I want went up there? I did my bit about. I want to get a twenty two caliber. That's all they want to protect my house and watch those fuckin backwards. People lose it got their minds. as a whole other led to the joke right. fuck knows I don't know, but I'm gonna be down there. I'm gonna hate the show to sell the last remaining tickets to the special. I hope you guys come out to the show. be a year should be a dam who nanny that's what the fuck should be, I write so what's going on in the world. What did I do we got in fucking do anything completely.

My train of thought, I didn't you shit this. We call it was. I watch sports. It was great because you, the year the innate shall in the NBA finals name they so far. They ve been on different nights. So I every second everyone of olive trees Have no, I don't really have a life right now, just kind of sitting here, waiting for june twentieth. When I take my special, that's all I'm waiting for months. I get past that once, Get task that right, o billy boy here, A freckles is fucking I go on fallen off the wagon in a big way, right, then on the fuckin wagon right now for fifty two fuckin days and I had you, you can liver. Unlike forty to forty three days of sunlight that every drunk I knows has told me that we drunk, I know That does not have a medical degree has told me tat if you go for it

forty three days. You cleanse plunge. However, at least the booze you now, if you fuckin. You start don't blow. You know eating a bunch of trans fat, food or feeding your kids kentucky fried fucking chicken Jesus Christ. What happened the parents and you got like your kids to keep them under control. You know, you know kids- don't respect their parents, they respect him, but then respect like all my god. This dispersing good, ring my neck. Could pick me up by my hair right could grab a paddle, it fuck it You mostly hit my ass, but also country hit my lower back because I'm squirming right, that doesn't exist anymore. kids are so far. Cannot control these people have to go down a kentucky. Fried chicken. Ok,.

and I'll die. I use the term chicken very loosely to go down. In whatever that is that's in that bucket. Ok, that doesn't have a it doesn't have feed if it's fuckin euro. Justice, its breast, a stick it out like the cast on fuckin now is what was that show with the italians thereon new jersey shore, jersey shore right world? That's not a fucking chicken. You know you want the chicken that Look like mark maguire and his rookie season. You don't want to eat the chicken that looks like mark maguire when he fell. can played for the cardinals. You know. Do eat a regular, fuckin chicken. First of all, gonna look like a pigeon to you because you so used to seeing those Roy did up once that day have murderers role that you got down there. You fuckin shaw's right. You. Ve wants you.

he pennies, wherever the fuck you by your goddamned check. If you go down you gotta to any one of the main stream supermarkets. Ok I swear to god when you get to the chicken section. Ok, if you'd be a few slept for the last thirty years, at van gundy guy under the bridge. Whatever his fucking name is van morrison, the hell's his name rip van winkle right. There was one of the People well in vans. If you slept the last thirty years and you went down ok Am I showed you wanna check unwise, you be like you will die no chicken, ok, it's a goddamn turkey Nl thought can die now entirely what I say why no such thing as a bargaining chip- it can't be done. No, sir, no sir get off my property ok, I'm out, I'm done with your witchcraft k. I think it too

gotta heath forgot, my property. Get the good. Yet you I think it was a fucking turkey and the thing is, is now it's a chicken, and I remember I watched one of those fooling swallows, fucking liberal goddamn things you know talking about flying, carpets and electric roads and all that bullshit somewhere in there they were talking about you know the food supply poison is poisonous poison. The is so I can one downward farmers? Can and I said I want I want to, all I want I want. I want all natural stuck chicken. I can't even talk, I'm so tired, one at all natural chicken. Guy goes, these are all natural, and I said natural goes well

My come on: where is it walk around the corner sitting over there lonely I swear to god. Looks like a dove looking in somebody killed the fuck. It does because right there that one right, that is represent all natural nothing's wrong with it, and I was like I was. I want at what. That's what a chicken supposed to look like And he raised his eyebrows any kind of put his lips together. So they were straight line and then he nodded denial of the people. Do like Again in the matrix, I realise them in the matrix, but you know I knocked the bitch up. So I gotta be selling these road. It up jacket now. anyways anyway what the fuck I'm talking about. So basically, that's what these people are eaten over there. Ok, the dragon up. The kids, but I can't get mad at him because I actually did that

the charlie murphy dan l wrongs, tat told us before boy I'll tell it against my fuckin park. Yes, I actually drug the exact thing that they don't in kentucky fried chicken commercial with trying to get The kids to sit still by just reading him so follow these fuckin trans fats from these right it, a big, was fuckin chickens with their dolly pardon breast this right. I did that. Two fuckin don Alan Charlie I was hung over and we would get a car service from chicago mercedes up to one of those, whatever the fuck, it was. say charles, city run and one when was saint charles, so we're getting in the fuckin level. Donelson re formed charlie's reform, their fucking, gabon and trash and people in me, and everybody I don't want to hear it

I don't want to lose his flock guys we're in there damn gaps in the back of this card? The whole fuckin way up? I want a nice quite right He's gonna shock and I walked outside hung over an hour. into the chicago where they now almost got him? Three fat people, and now I ll It's the street and I saw I saw popeye's and I was like oh thank god. And I'd fuck and walked in there, and I got all this fuckin popeye's chicken with biscuits And all this shit food and I brought it back to the car car pulled up, they came out. I say guys. I gotta self. Some forgot to some food and they fucking great. You know they were hungry, whatever they started chow and that fuckin. Otherwise food and I sat back nibbling. I'm drumstick I swear to god

Ten minutes later, they were asleep. I'm not lying if they were fucking, asleep snore bring the whole way up and I was just sitting there: love in life, the whole fuckin right up, and I know what I admitted to lead. They thought it was funny but that's basic what it is they, but the irish that's what they we need that shit food and then you have to go to sleep. They call it the item. I guess They I meet african americans. They can the fucking eyes and that's what they got life and I learned that, from dawn out. Because I don't know how that man stated shape, but he had the worst diet he's one of those guys who, like you stop for gas, and he comes out of the gas station with like one of those guys. Station hot dogs And he would eat it and then he would immediately fall asleep I got, I would say to Charlie this guy, we sleep it. Then

the man to get the eyes may explain that to me and what that little bit of information it would to my evil, white brain and I drug, two african american friends way back the year, two thousand five- That's a little chicken story for you. What are you like tat everybody that's what the fuck they're saying right. Dear that's, what kentucky fried chicken is alive, julie, saying I guess I have to say a legit. so their lawyers on retainer, don't attack my fuckin what podcast, as far as I can tell I'm asking you right now: Kentucky fried chicken hiding behind your fuckin letters. Kfc is that is that what the fuck you do so you saying you got kids, who were not stimulated. that they can even shit down. If you re run around you got it

Kids are opened the door, you cinema, the fucking yard guy got side, get out in place. That's what you do like a goddamn When I was fuckin irish dogs, there was bred to have to herd sheep. You got let that fuckin thing run around. Run around in circles, guy get out there take a ball fucking, throw it out in traffic. Let the dog run around dodgy cars. It comes in. It's going to lay down cake, jump all over companies stick, and it's called knows right now, fuckin who has, as would you. do what you kid you gotta to send them outside right, but catch a predator and all these other fuckin shows you know All these shows on tv where people forget their kids are in a car with windows rolled up their kids. Fucking dumb the roll down there too weak, because I'm gonna sign climbed a fucking tree. stay in their there, that their brains get cooked. Like a boxer.

You know that dog boxes? They know they do well in the sun. What, but neither do facts the windows rolled up your own. They got those weak arms, but all the data most tedious things they ever did was take a wrapper ah fuck it scream sandwich right. you can't leave them in the car. My mother left us in the corral fuckin time she would go to school, She was going to school during the day, Trying to further education is left five fucking kids in the car, but the windows rolled up and money for burger king and she would say to us just go into the bargain. That's the only time you were to leave this car over left over though ex three can. I was what I'm in class disappear on the corner after we said absolutely mob and she walked away. We immediately would get out of the car stopped up and down the streets. Embossed we go in,

fuckin burger king and we we'd have somebody to do you know what would happen nowadays if they just some five fucking dirty face kids walking up and down calm ass. Boylston street going into a burger king. The cast a fuckin annie. So I would have found it and my mother, what but they would have taken us away. You know, but but they didn't, because there was no cameras bacterial videotape. Once I mean there was, but only people animal like the news, Steven Spielberg, so we went in there we ve got some food On cars, fuckin yellow people in shit you're angry Plant parking meters and all that, hence we had the fuckin form strike to roll down the windows, and none of us ever had an issue in the car, and you know what I think, that's one to grow on illegal people, not saying kfc is food

I'm just kidding, I'm not saying it's bad food every once in a while who's kitten hope everyone's going to be great. If he could just fucking do heroin the way you can eat mcdonald's, just like every once in a while, he just like you know what yeah that's it fuckin tie off. Not off for the rest of the fucking day in like the people work, understood it Now, where were you yesterday odd annie, I got this black tie our game and you know I had done it like three months: what s figure fuck it I was, I would you did, I was I was it, you know like it. When you went to a robot, is dollar was awesome. I remember shit, you know you get addicted to it. everybody would still little advertising here. Shall we shout fucking bad, it's my part. Just I'm doing it anyways aright. He stamps dot com everyone saw above Is finally here and you

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a roller pivot ball back scratching egg timer laser point, a corkscrew I no, I don't. We were shaving just fine before any of that crap we were to blame, that was all you ever needed we can get an idea knows they got. Somebody blade you can't even shave under your nose, and I definitely don't think I need to spend my hard earned cash on people. It's a bunch of junk if you're sick, of being treated like a fool like a whore like an idiot, a moron, a sucker or a chump join the hundreds of thousands of smart people who join. Dollar shave club, dot, com, dollar shave, club dot com. delivers the best blades and grooming supplies for just a few bucks a month. There blades are better than that, Shape companies for a fraction of the price you dont want, I have sensitive skin. So what what you say about it when you're around it and their raises have never given me any problems. Honestly, I have the best shaven my life. What there for ex razor. You gotta try it

I've never used that stop putting words of my mouth. I liked the double blade you got this sweetheart, I told my body but the dollar shea club. That would be you guys and he shares a subscription with his wife no lie. I think it's if their marriage dollar. But why are you writing all this crap? You have a product that sells itself quickly. make me some more personal. Are I it's person? the way I fuck up the red. Ok, my wishes can get started now. Dull, shapeless, dot, com, slash poorer and don't forget next week is fuckin grey. Pop shave, operators, weight great pop shave with a dollar shade club gift card, because he should to pay more for as ridiculous shaven gimmicks either so get ripped off for the big getting by the big shaven companies joint dollars, shape, club, dot com, a spur shape club doc? What They voted three times in a row without punctuation, doubtless shape

what dot com, slash bar. this is shaped club, dot, com, slash per. I understand what it is. Dollar shape, clogged up can't slush bar? That's what it is be. You are ok, this its legitimate. We need any bells and whistles understand just join it. Ok, unless you want to keep get screwed right, if you like to be Let's prison bitch keep doing what you're doing. Oh god look at that look at that little thing I just opened up. Those are my french words. I stuck with it for two months and I don't remember any of it makes a lot of. gladly on a park. I knew you were gonna, learn french state Back here with me in the town: when what is all of this crap? I have more. fuckin windows, open where the hell's, the thing that I had here, Jesus Christ, untitled screen, Play why don't we just call it unwritten screenplay that I'm never going to finish out bill? Don't get down

yourself, come on Ok, so I've been watching a bunch of sports over here. All this vote We go full of shit. You know it's a great thing, but the final right now to american teams are not dynamic. To canadian teams, I'm just against listening to more than one nationally at them. Right I get it. I like my country, I like living here. I pay taxes paid the roads, pay off a whore, do whatever you want with my tax money. I don't give a shit but for the love of god? How about we switch it up every once in a while? How about you play my country, tis of thee. my country is the sweet land of Betty the icing than we do Mr lehne and the appeal was re nice quick. So what did I watch? I watch the first games of the king's fuckin ranges.

About those rangers. but he thought the east was weak, including me they're right, this footsteps, stride for strides scape escape. They just been snake britain, in the end the over times I was really open. Them ranges. We're gonna win game too in oak, as if they do that's more hockey, the kings to sweep them What the rangers to sweetie I wanted to go. Seven games. I really I enjoy the goddamn sport I gotta tell you. Man has been to gain it? You haven't we're gonna get into hockey. Those are two fucking great games to watch. overtime gangs I know what to tell you. I can't even fuck him. Remember. I've watched so much sports anyone what happened. I I is the rangers defensive and fell down and that over time and then william scored, and who the fuck scored game too.

I thought I was watching it wasn't. Kopitar he's been snake bit nervous, fuck knows I knows- has been great, but I do know I'm really over the ranges when game three So we can get a serious here, but Jesus the kings. They don't give a fuck her down to. I've been there whenever we used to it to us in a game- it's a joke. We ve been down three games to none they just so A fuckin just keep in the game you don't. I also like to about both games. It was when they went into the the overtime. Neither team was plain like, like don't lose it hockey. For them to make a mistake. They would just up and down the ice fuck it lets end. This thing really enjoyed that, and, as always, I can't stand them talking to the cultures during the game. I think it's unbelievably disrespectful. They did it. Its first game. funny they walked up to other spurs coach. What the fuck! It isn't,

bonneville. I have no idea. I troop something with a b pop of which there was My daddy, this sound like a car, some fuckin bed junk food, the seventies, From the makers of jiffy pop comes pop, of which a crack jack senior, can't pop pop of which they this fuckin lady goes over. Then she goes. What are your words, your plan or in the fourth quarter, fur We're lebron James literally looks areas like. Are you kidding me try to get him to not scorning points. when she asked another dumb questioning, look really. She had three heads and they use walked away, and then she laughed like she was in on the joke, rather than she was the joke right the fucking joke you ask damn questions is not our fault, I'm sure they're, piper them anywhere ear. You know Jesus Christ. How bad is the falcon announcing croup for the NBA finals margin?

Can somebody please explain to me why here this goes mama. The goals that may. What is that even fuckin me what means something good. What does that mean am I to white to understand that is. That's what you said when I went fuckin giant guy, walk down the street and is part of the world some little It looks up with his mom. it says mama there goes that man, I don't even know what the fuck it meets. All I can tell The EU is Michael. Might my newt knowledge of basketball watching that guy I don't know anybody spoken name other than the major people when that guy fuckin, was dropped when baseline. Any through the elbow into their guys, fuckin ribs, was to be married to that check. That was on that show about the desperate housewives, the fuckers tony parker yeah

fuck white guy, that van gandhi, the other, mike bream whatever when he goes out, let alone the little flower who looks like a You know a normal basketball movement like it. No, I didn't He made a first move desire for more than three hundred flock and elbow back ass. It was a textbook fuckin elbow like the day when they start making a video version right of the dictionary because kids are too fat, fuck and re. They can't all their eyeballs, it all go inside, decides to much lateral movement for their fat eyes, These you just have a video of them is a textbook falcon elbow and ass. She said to debating it. look at that again. Yeah. That's how I run. You know once just sort of you now go and, like you know, my left I'm just kind of moves normally and then the other one. I don't know what it is. Five,

could spinal whatever, but it just kind of it kind of moves. You know fuckin all away straight it goes back tat, those over the love of god. Don't stand behind me textbook fuckin elbow and then another thing that they did a fuckin, but the shit out of me was They go where they were talking about TIM duncan. They were shown this great thing that when you first the guy there. Ah what the fuck, spot. the Erin brockovich, whatever the fuck his name is chris googly googly what's his name, fuckin though they said when they first met him. And he also met tony parker, like he was quiet and aloof. Intimidated by it would tell him the story was funny, then they cut. The tim duncan tim Duncan was like why you know I didn't have anything to say to him. You know. Basically, we had a when games and if we start when in games together will build a relationship and then they come

back in march jackson goes down Tell me why what is the difference? between what he is doing, not talk it in to his teammates, being aloof and workers. Brian. Does And I almost fell off my fuckin chair and then If Van gundy goes well, you know, I think it's the media, you know once they get, they think who you are. They just keep perpetuating it and blah blah blah blah blah blah fucking blah. I that's unbelievable uses, but is nba whores once you start fucking stock in the dick right the nba, like that's how you make your fuckin mortgage stages day. You know that we criticized the best guy, always at the best care now cause he's hurt, but he's been the best guy forever, some people, fucking lebron james whatever, but you know, enemy copies, definitely top three, if not top to ever without It does not even debatable, but they just My criticized again,

they're, trying to say, like TIM duncans aloofness is the same, is copy? You know, walk as the court, bad losses walk out on his fuckin to own teammates, the host, the key low, neil soap opera, you know not to mention that bad little, fuck, it now road trip. He had. You know. Tat in colorado. I would think that yeah, you know funny, as I don't think I'll be, gives a fuck. Nor should he had a phone. People think about him, but there try to sit there and compare tim duncan. You know act, like the way karim acted, the magic johnson when he showed up and started jumping up and down when they want to fuck and regular season game, and he saw looked at em like fuckin relax. We get eighty one more games and that's just what a veteran does. That's. The same thing is walking off the court walk and our and your own fuckin teammates. You know me,

Jesus Christ, Jeff ran gandhi, filled action is god damn book trash, kobe bryant, in a roundabout way, you could read between the lines. It is definitely a difficult. Guided coach smash cut the hammer, but his tie off raymond at his wife. Why I still owe me right That's what he's really saying you say: go fuck yourself, an italian that's what he said right. I got it. I really can't. I have a real difficult time. Listen has ever thing a normal basketball. Most tell me no tone, you told me what to do with the dual. Those will go before those mamma, the goals that may I Well, tell you this.

that the n b, a finals, don't look fixed this year, they're actually letting them play, and it's been very enjoyable to watch. I there's always going to be some bullshit, fouls or whatever, and I you know I don't know the dumb fuck toys that fixed a year conditional, but if look Braun james has problems with cramps, yet always pay. In your best interests in a cup of games. We said he get home port, just haven't it busted the entire type is anybody else annoyed during that for game when the ac didn't work, watching all those people fanning themselves in the crowd. You don't didn't you learn and third grade that actually doesn't cool yourself off that action. Just that motion alone is raising your body temperature. Making you sweat even more you don't. I think it is I think it's us those fuckin taxes, girls, they were so much goddamn make up make up right. But they gotta make sure you know that

not gonna, run their extra fuckin hot. You know they gotta sure tina women out there, so certain segment of them have shaved off their eyebrows and drawn back on now you can't have those things drip and down to your eyes. You can't do that courts. I'd say it's right. On television, so they're all sit there fan and fuck himself but he's play me why? Why does the? What is it? the crabs and nobody else does. Why, back the day when they would be plain in the boston garden that had no air conditioning right and Johnny most would be going triple dodger tat, the bastard garden. It was like over a hundred degrees in here. In korea he's on the oxygen and robert pairs The simple water then dump the rest down the front of his jersey, none of them cramped up. better, understand, honest. I guess everybody, you know what that's like, the bronze kryptonite, I think of it two fuckin hot, so

they ought to turn up the heat on the heat there. That's what I would do: the problem, because the fucking guys guys, a god, my daughter's picket body, Hey I'm adonis, where the fuck that guy is at some sort of greek god who, through a discus in the nude, I was wrong with the greeks in a goddamn naked games right. but it grappling over there at the early air. I'm just should not everybody this we gonna or what sunday night did you guys, But a charge today. body be babo boom. There was an arc anna bunch of labourers, make sure there's too, and that fuckin or and Jesus won't throw a stone all right. What do we got here? Thirty, seven, five minutes in if I have, I talked about everything

still trying to get the shape from my special? I have sort of like levelled out about a buck. Seventy to one. Seventy four, I wanna be about one. Seventy sulphur First time, in a long time as I fucked up my foot with their planter fisher radius there, She took out to call it other than a jump rope. I know that's what, call it what you call it a skipping rope. I've done in a few years. Jesus Christ, oh my god. I should videotaping and I were instantly- be considered the funniest human being ever. You guys want may try to remember when the start jumping as I But that thing around TAT it was ugly and we did it for a minute because untested out my foot to see how it's gone right. So I did bunch of stretches, and then I took a tennis ball. and our old at around and unease my foot before and after it seems like it's all right, but when you old like me, it's not the day of

and a lot of times it's not even the next day, it's that next day, to day after the day after I, because what we fucked up is so deep down inside of you. It takes a while for it to get to the surface the when I was playing hockey card. I haven't played hockey in a while, but I would fucking I would bruise up like three days later. All of a sudden, it looks like and is it before I got all the paths you know wait, I want to thank god you guys for trash me for my cupcakes. I really enjoyed the cup. Thanks and I enjoyed the trashing that you guys gave me that a lot of good laughs. You know some aggie jokes, but you try and you know it's not your vocation, there was a lot of funny once out there. You guys you guys, you know what you paid for you really entertain me. then I will tell you, I'm not gonna be bullied into not making cupcakes anymore. They in fact the second I'm done with

this podcast, I might even go on youtube and actually fascinated me all week. Is trying to figure out how they get filling in a fuckin cupcake. How do you do it? Do you start Cook the cupcakes and then take em out Fuckin inject a ship in the middle. and that's so like loose, that the then than the cupcake is, and this is take enough that you can put it in there. It is the kind of stuff that I think about, rather than looking at fucking. people get enough said what fathers of prisoners of war said that the fuckin white house. He can't tell me obama when he saw that guy's beard come up. He didn't think. Oh geez, like what is this Guy gonna say you gonna think I'm the butler who works here. First of all, there is no way he did think that guy that guy was like textbook. racist white guys face right or at least like to state proper, no idea whose president these gets?

fucking radio worries listenin to was what new zealand. I know people I'm all over. The fuckin place we're swimming gettin in shape and hiking, during my pull claim in the fuckin rope and then like a fuckin drying. You'd like a champ. As I say that I have a pizza away every once in a while, you know but I just gotta go harder for the last few days and I cannot wait to get this special. so. I can move on to my next hour. Join my summer and I've been going. at the clubs out here in l, a like a maniac, I did five shows last night I did. I think I took the night off before that I did too the night before that for the night before that and it's funny like I was going to, I was like I know, I'm just going to do all of my bits in fifteen minute chunks and you know what I can't do it. I start to doing that. I just want to talk about the new ship, which is the next fucking hour, so by still

It's good to just be out there doing it go on out there, Taken some swings right stay in she up Aren't you anyways so anyway, I am really looking forward to it and we saw the tuna tickets down and land, and I really want to thank everybody event. For coming out to talk to the to the taping and I hope I give you a great show. I write Oh by the way I was reminded the listeners of my pack? Yes here if you want to follow the podcast and now the youtube videos in the clips and all its appreciate, all the stuff that I talk about for you can All the monday morning, podcast on twitter add at the end podcast her right and I m m p in the mm I guess, that's all capitalized and Are you gonna? Let us up the all that shit. All the all things comedy things

the all things coming networks. Were you start trying to do some live podcast out here in l, a and there's rumours that I might be hosting one of the first couple I've never done alive podcast where I hosted it so why I will be let em tuneable teased here. I think This can be happening in the beginning of July. So let you guys know about that. Coming up and what else I think, that's it. right, let's, let's get into the questions for this week. Once again, everybody thank you for sending me your emails. You really help back nine here on the podcast there, all right. First, one out of the gate, a bill and my girl by girlfriend doesn't like me carrying around a knife. Hey bill, are nea bill and or near. I have a problem with girl, I'm an ex marine and trained for years. Before that with weapons Jeez Christ, you already training with

weapons, and then he became a marine. I see this is why you know I only talk shit on a comedy stage. Because you never know you gonna run into right As a result, I am in shape and I carry a knife wherever I go now girl hates it. When we go out- and I have I have it on me- it isn't it we'll talk at night. It's it's a foot, long fixed blade, I'll fuck. This I gotta get near hang on a second. We pressed pause here, With that the magic pause button Not only is the lovely near here welcome hi. My also just walked down a pizza and interpreters harpies of re. They did with a small moment of silence, with small beats, a break. What snip down and avoid me. I don't know

Why is this chronic break and set a pizza added pizza so that now. You know something I never got into that west coast rap. When it first came out you don't I doggie style other than that we may be being serve scars out like so outcome is also now he's great right on it and he is raging. He's aging better than any, but he went seamlessly from you know, oh, my god, who is this young hooligan into all of a sudden, he was uncle snoop and white people, just he said, was it he's a pistachios? Those are pistachio his and pistachios vaporize. Depends pens, he's Yes, it's only brazing, like I will sell anything, is lungs Money now actually wouldn't agree with that

It's both of those things are awesome, pistachios and vaporize. Now, if he was going to sell anything that would be like you know, clorox bleach or some shit and they're, just like sounds, like you, used to do nicely crunch bars, which I thought was kind of weird Jack lost all credibility when he was in that little ass buick sail comfortable with that stupid boy. He pointed his friends who were laughing at him, go and look at shaq rivers. Well, you don't drive viewers. Last time was last time he drove a fucking buick that's right. You know a junior high junior high, but its areas of high school wrapper though, and he was in the light of leaders of the new school and all those people. I remember how my ass taste, what's its sports thing, Why do you say when coolby in him didn't get along. Rarely, who said that he said as my ass, they were then call me

Where did we went to the front office said? Look either he goes or I go. It was very real housewife, but it was because I was you grown ass man like professional players, I guess so anyways. And by the way people we are going to get to the guy who carries the knife. we'll get to it. There's a reason. I called you in here. So the lakers were like I! Well we got to studs here and one of them's like fucking ten years younger than the other or whatever is alright. So are eight years younger. So we got it so they got rid of shaq shaq, went to the heat and, I believe the next year or the or the year after the very next year or the year after he wanted championship with the heat, lakers were floundering. At that point, and does so. He was just so. He was at a club

and he was celebrating as you do and all of a sudden a microphone was handed to him. They started freestyle wrapping and came up with one any was trashing kobe based. We saying that you know you thought you could do without me. Now you can't so I went over here and I won one with dwayne wade and the hook was how's. My ass day says this gas tag. I think it was supposed to be discussing. Oh well, then success yeah, but there's so much action. Shaquille Shaq is still silly he's silly enough place to check yeah. No, I didn't think so. That's a giant falconer suit. Does he is our journey. I like that kind of that, like he rub like my backards, because I bent over to my right, I pick it up my my fuckin with my bag baggage snow. I was going to say by giant slippers with my fucking shaquille logo embroidered in them, too, wordy

Anyways, let's let's get to this year about, can bill. My girlfriend doesn't like me carrying around a knife: hey! Alright, I have a with my girl, I'm an ex marine and train for years before that, with weapons as well salt. I am in shape. Carry a knife. Wherever I go start braggin stop right now Is everybody else's a fat fuck out here this guy? That is the financial algae else. For the most part me did you see the people at brunch today, while so, what thus, most while in america and people who are in jail really needs a leg it off their homework and high horse about it. Like you went to the gym. Congratulations, we talking, this guy's a hero anyway, wait, a minute backup, dizzy. Backup. I didn't say that everybody, america, wasn't, you couldn't lose a couple, I'm just say this guys actually in shape, so he says: can we continue? Boys

like I already hate this guy, when you hear what he has done cause, I don't think he has a problem with his girl. I think, has a problem with his ego and his paranoia, but let's continue she's. Why bring you in the society of the female perspective? Ok, he goes now. A girl, hates it. When we go out and I have it on meeting the knife it isn't little pocket knife. It's a foot, long fixed blade knife. I can always oasis. He is very guess, we'll dick I can see, under my shoulder. Why, under my jacket, she says I don't I too feel it when I hug you watching, which is bullshit. We have About this, and I refused to give it up because it is an invaluable tool and it gives me a small sense of safety, should I break up with her, cave and get rid

rid of it or lie and hide it in the car. All my ass, if you're willing to lose your girlfriend over inanimate fuckin object. As I said in the beginning, before we got to the end of this fucking question, you got more problems than your girlfriend. I don't know you got ptsd or whatever it is, but if your seriously ask well. If you should break up with your girlfriend or ports, fucking knife away, because it freaks her out that you carry it under your shoulder. Like some fucking renegade in some goddamn, Kurt Russell movie from the late eighties, then that's a serious problem. Can we becca what was what was the pds to was a ptsd post, traumatic stress disorder, which is a serious thing that a lot of veterans suffer with? So I don't man said to belittle it. If that's the thing that you feel because your marine and you went through shouldn t in others, went on those with this guy within the weapons before the clearly

thanks ill. That's what I mean like if it's really like my knife or my girlfriend, is that sir Is that why a real question you know what I mean just came of one of the great bumper stickers that you could sell and a lot of rural areas. America provides my knife my girlfriend, and you just have some do what I do know. Is that really a question now seems like that's what I mean. Is it really acquainted my knife or my? Should I break up with her just play along just this like all these array of lakes, so much easier comedy, and why a woman How do you and feeling, a night that you keep concealed on your shoulder at all times is if the relatives underneath the sun is white- and I understand that- but do you know what until somebody shows up with a gun and he polls that night we go day. I got a nightmare I will deflect these bullets like wonder woman, why do you have the knife, sir? Do you

a ptsd What it is you feel like you need to have it because of this shit that you went through in a manner which is completely legitimate, in which case what you need to have our the gentleman whose home you need to talk to somebody about that and they needed on your girlfriend. Why you feel, like you, need to have a cause? Why do you feel like you need to have? It was he's never set in this and this question at all? Why, it feels like he needs a carrier night at all times when he's going on day. My with his girl he's got the knife under like his his blazer. that's not a little bizarre. excessive to you, shaving guy. That's our carrying that shit constantly was first of all, what should be crazy, Out there and you never know when, you might need- and I mean, What is the second foot long of what life That is a hidden under it, nuclear. What point does it become a sword to feed anything

you mean giving up the knife or breaking up with his army. The real thing is, the real thing is on the real thing. Is the guy needs to get out of this relationship, The fees even remotely considering. they know what will yes break up with her and spare her you're crazy, hey, easy going up on her door ever let her go as you clearly got some shit to work out and you who are questioning whether you should keep a knife or you keep your relations gonna. Give you struck labourers? Oh no! No! You can't because if not, I will give me a constructive criticism. Our this isn't the outcome. on the pike hasn't gives our opinion our. So that's what she's doing, but what about? Can I give our environment? Can I give you? Can I give you a constructive criticism for a minute Thirty seconds. Let me ask you this of personal. Don't put me on the clock on my podcast now shut up, you might

that's my knife that yeah your neighbors, your microphone right, that is, my security, blanket your microphone or your wife. Listen, I mean first of all I already minute that I like fuckin, make cupcakes and only two going further in this thing. It's very and they were delicious. Ok can I get to this show when you make points on his part. Yes, you want people to hear right, that's not you don't go. You kind of went like the way people make Points on the internet where people Go rather than just making their point to helps they'll just be like a decade. maybe, if you that's how people start when making a point? Ok, so do you wish to know which plan now cool headed like you? No, no! No! No! No! No I'll yearly ran just be really like even emperor and

if had a perfect person, just not like reactionary and freaking out and scream, I was out on the balcony. I heard you screaming about whatever the fuck you're screaming about this week of singing. Listen I definitely yes, the security issues without a doubt, I don't know, know like, Maybe you got stabbed when I was younger. It is never going to happen to me again so now he's got a er. That's why I said ptsd, which is a very legitimate thing. Would you start off with your fuckin catch phrase cycle psychology the day the deal was forgetting about veterans or anything, it's a real, serious, fucking issue. For these guys I tell you're, not a psychologist. You sit nowhere like doctor Joyce brothers, the ilit said

put your lab code awake. Europe needs to be a psychologist to hear when someone says, should I keep my knife or break up with my girlfriends and know that something seriously wrong we're not only to be a shift to know that the toasters bar- well, I mean Oh snap? Am Jesus, hey Secondly, what if he sent a view his flock and found his type and with the storm, so he added you know, cause one other hands on his back a knife and a problem that, although we have to stop what is fine, you know you, like our body? Why you like huggin on somebody that send shape this guy's in shape? Then what do you need? A knife? Doesn't the knife because What do you mean? What do you mean life fought because we're made at a ninety percent water? Ok, you can. tat- and you hit me if you fuckin were able this, fuck and make a stabbing motion. Ok fast enough with a straw, you kill me, that's real!

talk in Israel to Israel talk. So what do you have a picks up a box full of straws in some god, forsaken dying in the middle and the bright? Ok, better, you better hope, you're already in your fuckin bathtub with the legs on what are you getting at the hall I like a higher body. What does it have to do with a knife from saying that you guys you can't you like guys in shape, yeah rugged seems liking, protect your ear and he's, yeah, he's ready to be your bag, a bad guy and like a stephen cigar movie, he's ready he's ready Rather his body be a lethal weapon, not feeling like he has to carry one job. What his body is a lethal weapon? A lot like aren't like consular masochism, the movies, I wasn't no evil in real life. Who can lake? Have there Her hair, like floyd, may, whether that jackass can have, is why don't you like him with those white cars? You know why I don't like floyd may, whether my getting into it I actually don't know why you don't like Floyd way. May whether we didn't talk about those we can talk about. How just just came

it's just him and his relationship with women. That's all I'm gonna say just google it or not. Don't man on on on oh come on they go to it? What what? What does he do? thanks. A lot of women should be the chap. Bang If I am around yes, it's shap did ass his morning banging as in meeting them up sure he bangs a lot of women tell jokes at home. I mean everybody brings the job home. If you really you bastard. matter. You know we hits. Is women Why do how do I? What would I just say? How do I watch every one of his boring pay per view fights and get sucked in every time as he pooh pooh pooh? popopo scores his way through now I mean only comes out with like a circus leading him out and flames by justin, bieber and low wayne that guy

I doubt the what are what why me and bill's new favorite song, it's a fucking, great song. You do. I love him that lyric. It reminds me, though I love those richer prior bits where he would talking to other characters and you couldn't hear what they were saying, but you knew by what he was saying. You could tell what the other people were saying. I loved that shit and what I love about that lyric turn down for what is your nose? You see the party, you see him having a good time and you can just hear survey. Why don't you turn it and him sticking his head out the window down, and you know what there is no answer yeah for what for what yeah yeah turned a little way makes sense long, John, a little john get your laws which one would away hours ago. The

drank like fucking neck will for five years, and I could go to jail. Look like it was a mere cat net so that we can look at his face. That is the look of somebody about re. They lose their freedom why you never have that? Look. That's there's no fuckin way to go to court when you're freedom is on the line, all of your fuckin, whatever it is one that Politics come in, you have this fuck. Are they gonna? Stick me in a fuckin cage. I can't you know I can't I can't imagine ever being the defended in a fight, King trial, where at the Does this mean that gonna go free you're gonna, put me in a fucking cage. I I can't even I can imagine that you lost me well well, I was you weren't, listen it I was. I was talking about a little way, loads on and then use at lowood away. I said you go drank

like cornea that further that little measure the cat when he was sitting there in his soul Please find me innocent suit that he was wearing and his hip your glasses. They put on, look terrified as I would be. The Do you mind if I did so I'm not saying I love the damn it. I don't know. One of you said adela That one where he was the doktor oh yeah, nick carter, we have another patient to care anything that sounds like that. Grizzled veteran. I ain't got time for this shit. He went nick nolte on that trout of three fantastic, legal zoom. Everyone america was. Oh by innovators and dreamers people

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control with hulu, plus two stream. These shows and thousands more as much as you want. Whenever you want hulu plus works on your computer, you smartphone tv, roll call Apple tv, I'm sorry you're, smart tv that smartphone smart tv, rogue, who apple tv export play station pretty much any streaming device you already on. You can even watch on your phone are ipad by august the canada. While on the train at work at the dentist or in the bathroom, we can even block off a data bench. He also I took the to access originals that you cannot get anywhere else check out. The new show deadbeat a comedy about a pot smoking guy who talks to ghosts. You can binge on all ten episodes starting April. Ninth for only seven ninety nine a month get your shows anytime anywhere. That's like a quarter a day come on folks sign up now right now, sign up at hulu, plus dot com, slash bill or click the banner on my website and get two weeks full access completely free, that's a whole extra week more with

the special law for when you sign up at hulu, plus dot com, slash bill I'll, wait, but the any so get with it and start streaming tv now with hulu plus on the worst. Alright weight loss, dog parks and banging there we go. right, billy boy, he goes, I got no nickname for you. I don't worry about, don't worry about it. Thanks for the podcast I'm a sales rep and use your podcast to distress said a word. Did you do it? What genes the distress or on the Monday afternoon, drive home. Only six months ago, my company laid me off and ive used. Your blog chest of fat made fat shea myself at work during the day I love it to work shaming it does. I guess I didn't ask is does for me. Stand in the mirror shirtless then I just go. Look what you did. What you did you piece of shit nobody's going to love you and next thing you know I'm out there eating kale

jogging down the street with my white legs, this drop out. Can we talk about how your dress or as for it, that would like never have, Why are you dress like not because I was gonna gonna bike right? imagine you actually look pretty cute. I have to say that meat, no guy, wants a cute Alright guys! Oh my god, you look cute you do you look younger, I would I would. I would give you a second glance at the gym. If you are annual elsewhere. Iced, really, that matches and what am I swear, this rule by the gang of shit? You give me a second glance: yeah yeah, you should be happy, but you say it. Stuff. Like I don't like chocolate, ships, vulcan college sweater, you have rag, unbound, ok, Have a listen to the old fashioned. I've dropped forty pounds and it's been great from two sixty to two twenty and size. Forty two pants that the size, thirty six ni is good for you

funny. You wait a minute. Sorry, you size w. You tore twenty pounds, those thirty six page. How does it work? those guys gonna be jack, he's on the juice what is a giant shoulders, found shoulders, Bigger anyway, so here's my dilemma: egos have a lab, not a plot, a lab, golden retriever mixed and we go to the Art near my house every day to play fetch off the lease there. Is you the usual there is the usual suspects of about ten to fifteen people that bring the dogs out to play. I live in a slightly unsafe city, parentheses. Bob more, the wire you wait a minute then they shoot the wire there. Yes, yes, slightly all baltimore, yes, agnor, all baltimore you're going to get the fuckin waterfront. Nice for half a second, although then what's his face,

he had a meeting down they once I wanted the episodes that. you, like the english guy hours, buccaneers,. His name on the show those sturgis striker Pierre way, spalding sterling. let's move it. Last week we were outside discussing string, Bell swing are valued here. I put some new words in my head, then I can remember, and last week we were outside discussing the group of kids groups of kids on bikes that are having women's asses jogging in the park. so one guy start telling the women to grab the kid that does that and hold them there until the police come oh yeah that that's really safe and realistic for women to do said sancho Yes, that is, as I keep reading what does because he addresses it

Next sunday, I dont forget order me around I'm up what's wrong with you not. What Jesus Christ I think you can see that Reading I'd made by common, continue you're drunk with power, because I think you could see the danger here of anyone, anyone adult grabbing of fourteen to sixteen year old kid and think think the other kids will just right away. You gonna get beaten probably hit in the head with the brick sounds like the beginning with Yes, wish movie so the same guy who, by the way, is a hedge fund manager and knows everything star telling me all the fights he's been in, He goes I'll, buy each listener of this podcast a beer. If then in one fight, he goes so his wife is there and everyone is listening. He says I want to fight one time with just my mouth so before or you can say anything else. I say what did you do,

we'll blow them egos? Will everyone labs? He can't really say thing: any storms off gets it A ten yards away tells his wife she asked to come home? She throws me, a wink and says that was hysterical. I think your his feelings? Oh Jesus Christ, doors opening and other doors, yet thirty six path. He you guys. I find out a couple of days later. Then I've got back to work and are being recall, relocate he's gonna say: can I banger before I leave that sort of get back to work and I'm being relocated over a thousand miles away? What's the problem, well, his wife, his I wrote it right, while his wife is a hot piece of ass and his son.

It's sending me facebook messages tags would mean tags when she gets your number. I have kept a part of that story. Sir saying she wants to sleep with me before I leave. They have no kids and she made divorce papers that she is well she's waiting to file. He gets his next bonus check in august. Normally, I'm a pretty upstanding dude he's got build up credibility here, people like me, or the community, I've recently lost weight. I have a lab golden retriever mix. When I go to the dog park he wants to. this guy's. Why does I don't believe in crossing wind, but this one feels different movie within the next six weeks. What should I do with thanks and go fuck yourself there? I'm gonna pass it over here. You know good died down well you need to stay away from that woman. You're doing well, you lost where you got nice all one liners. You know how to put people in their plays, walk away. You'll find some way to fuck

a thousand miles away where you get really look relocated? Okay! This is not the last piece of ass? It you're gonna come across our real exercise what you say: this is on the back for the good line and that the factory, attention from hot piece of ass, who are looking to take. Her husband's for all their worth before they divorce them and far better the smart ass at the dog barked be happy for that, but you can fuck somebody so what you are saying is when Columbus sailed over to america, which was actually down to cuba, belief the voice our job, of people's hands because they couldn't find gold for his feelings. Ok, they, a branches. in the water. Let them know that land was coming up like that. The good science you're saying this, this is just peace has flown by you. Let them

He sees already get on pussy. I absolutely agree with me: when I'm waiting go awry, thats, it does work or, as I'm sure it's very flattering, but you already, you already humiliated the guy. You did. You did your. You did your work. That was a great lie, and what did you do blow unless fantastic and I've been waiting for a guy to come along to put her husband and is in his place and all staff, so yeah good for you, but not don't, don't be that guy walk away. You'll find somebody else. I say: do fame. Now don't do it, you know you're the voice of reason, good you're, absolutely right cause you idea why she wants to do that in know, cause in an argument and be like our yeah and you have.

A guy at a dog park, while I fucked up exactly he was bad at it and then all of a sudden. This guy sounds crazy and this. Why is she showing you divorce papers and like I'm, going to divorce him as soon as he gets his next bonus, shack, stay away from rod, stay away from good call now she's nuts That's tp right. There was that toxic it is. I agree that same dear bill I am an aspiring actor and then and have been for quite some time now, fire actor and have been for quite some time now, I'm the worst. I dont away deposit sentences I gotta raining alone, really. What are you doing next around ten? Well, I want your for arms. Do pretty good, but the rest of you is like.

Well, when I walk down the street in a fucking speedo do I I went to a laguardia. I went to a laguardia high school, a school for performing arts for let's go. In pursuit to become an actor while they I meant. I dont say names here, and I don't do names on you, Because you may know him from a couple a movie season now, because you never know what he's gonna say he was an arrogant, jerk, see, that's about. He was going to get out. I'm gonna go straight. Acting without a care in the world. You see. His father is a famous photographer for a magazine, so He already had a shoe in two. It can to the industry always those do not use it. High school was a while ago now slapping it doing student films and extra work, while he's rocking a one point: two million instead

followers because his movie just came out. How do I not? bill bitter unresentful. I know supposed to want fame as much as I do, and I'm coming off. we'd, better unresentful, but it's just how I feel less. On essays being honest, she can't get mad at that. This is what you do yeah, you say: god bless him. and his is, Success and you stopped stocking him on the united states about the days that, following among instagram, stop worrying about What he's doing, how many followers he has- and I know movie that you referring suited did incredibly well this week. Jane was not given away evidence that give it away Malicious event: millicent molasses, male efficient, but but let it go.

This is your thing: go to class. Here's a deal. Take your pirates. We can get input, get your reel together. An actress supposed to do also you're, not an a what what did you? What did you call yourself? sir I imagine uninspiring actor. You are an actor. So Let's change the way we talk about ourselves. You are an actor ok, just because you're not in this billion dollar making film doesn't urine actor. Ok, do you thing don't worry about anybody else. we're all surrounded by people who are going to be more successful than assets, the way that it goes I know where this guy is gonna end up. Do you only have yourself to worry about? So just just let it go. You now and know that's hard, but you know who cares? What is doing the other guy that we can't stay here Now you down, we all get jealous. We all guess what out that's what I'm gonna centre as what I was going to say. I won't say better. I never get better, but I

If someone I was early on and I wasn't you know, get anywhere that the time when you are most susceptible to being jealous envious and resentful on that type of thing, but I never got to better, but I definitely worth was looking people go, unlike our, I started before this person and their there and I'm here what the fuck am. I doing wrong and all this person's kill in it they you're fucked at person. Why? blah blah and it just. It was a bunch of it's a waste wasted, energy. You just you just gotta, believe that you're going to get what the fuck and I get so all that energy into your work here. Keep your eyes down. When he sees big billboard times were spoken. There really was a brutal business router. But another is a great question. I mean you know it's because people, it I'm sure people at work

get passed over and somebody else gets the fucking job, but there was somebody in in hr that you wanted a bang, be like. I can't fuck somebody at work, that's against the rules and somebody else moved in and they got them. Then they both quit the job same disappeared in the sunset you sit there, it is You know you're being standing over the mariner eyes at hate pictures crying. it's all. I do your twitter. They now builder I paid pictures I may cupcakes. I paint pictures. Dilemma bill. Would you rather have? Would you have drum roll says a utter whose a whole or a gay son also how what the fuck is, this fuckin homophobic sexes, ass, ridiculous question, daughter who was a horrid gaze son whose there they acted

this was so offensive on so many levels like I can't even I won't. Even so. That's all you! Ok. What is a thing there. People have to be allowed to be homophobic. Why This is how you get it already. That's like saying you know you shouldn't be fuelling I'll, be out in the fat shaming, but that this guy, fuckin asshole, shaming, I'm all for it I'm not saying that like now? This is the problem. This is I can promise that is the problem problem is, is you're already enlightened yeah Ok and somebody else is an enlightened and the way to get him. There was not a shit all over you gotta stand a fuckin olive branch. GonNA. Take your sarcasm again. I have to be tolerant for like the ignorant, assholes Riah, because they are the plans that are misunderstood, there are the ones that need an extra helping hand in this world because the world is so hard for them. That's right:

that is about to settling pc she's, why nothing would end the pieces. Why am I here? Let's get left behind, they just get left behind, his assholes like data, that's all I help. Let them not the people who work for, Lee suffering from with that ignore, listen now That got that guy any closer to that. first, what he might just be. Cover him doesn't hyena for my car. Yeah, you are you coddle a lot of ignorant assholes in the name of comedy, I'm sick of it? Jesus Christ. Look you do. Let me ask you this.

You know somebody says something homophobic on t v and then they get fired from a shelf for saying something, homophobic and you immediately side with them. Why is that? I don't side with them yeah you do you take the you you go with like the sympathy angle rather than the people who are actually offended by your light will wait a minute now, let's break. Why not? What I'm saying you don't even listen to what I'm saying you so you so one year falcons soap box of how Damn right, you are, but you are merely assuming that I'm advocating homophobia, I'm not! Where are you advocating? advocating that, when somebody's fuckin homophobic to just go in then take their job from them? How does that help that person with their homophobia? Do you think they then? go home and go local. Now I get it they don't they become worse. So if you want to solve the fucking problem- and I believe that one do that it is. As much about stopping whatever

The thing is: a sexist comic, homophobic, any. What it is is it is it showing the power that your group has used, shut the fuck up or we're firing you so what you do is You do, is you create all that ignorance to go underground, you're, not telling them to shut the fuck up your time them? As I? Let me finish. I finished my always have the correct when they have a high point. You can use your what you're telling me it's not very. They have a right to just be have a platform in its view that kind of intolerance. That's what I'm not saying they say anything, you don't I anything ever about now. You just do not you it's not. Kay You can I lavish my fucking point for the love of Christ. Ok, What I'm saying is you not giving them a platform assume they dont get reprimanded or anything like that? but to take their fucking job. What you ve done it taken a persons whose signal It was here- and I can add way more to that

and you're gonna stir up all these other fuckin people until like, though the way I think to get rid of all that shit he's gonna, let people say the stuff and then you have. Sit down and rationally me can combat hey. You ignorant fuckin sex can't fuck. Maybe if you are enlightened like bagman, then you're enlightened point comes after all that shit they. they don't hear it at that point. The new fires, somebody they're, not gonna, not going to be calm list sexist or anything like that, all you all you ve done is taking away. You took away their ability to earn a fuckin living. That's all you did And they are going to become even more resentful and they are going to have fucking kids and what are they going to pass it onto? I'm, not saying that you can sit down with these people and actually rationalize them to to to different place. Ok, but some of them you can. but if you ve fire all of em and used

old, all of em, all that shit and, as I said in my act, a zillion fuckin times. If everybody's conversations were recorded, would anybody have a job on Monday, I'm just an unfocused give everybody shopping. On and on a soap box or all gathered around to watch. Somebody take a fuckin beat down in completely ignoring all all of your own fucking fault. I just don't think that the the the a crucify m angle, all this shit is is gonna help is gonna help anybody not. This is definitely situations where, like take take back the clipper zone can now what That guy is doing It is like he's affecting like the entire enviers, infecting the entire fuckin pricing. You have to get rid of that. Guy. Ok, he's the owners of the- but I think, like a guy, just a guy on s, p Ok if he makes an ignorant com. It is a great opportunity to sit down with that. And then watch the guy, hopefully honestly,

go through some sort of a journey. You could turn that into a fuckin show. You could actually have a guy rather than come out and do the usual horse shit. You know I said: was ignorant and blah blah if you could just like I could fuckin wing an apology for every fuckin offensive thing. At this point I have seen every fuckin apology you just going out there giving lip service. Could you trying to get you fuckin money back? You don't owe me but it's actually sit. Sit down. I say said it talk to somebody who actually thinks like being gay is a choice. Two may be trying to try to get through. You could make Just get ten percent of the people on this side right then pushing him all the pushing a face in the muddy you're bad fuckin person fuck your job fucker this. I am not saying that that they shouldn't be disciplined, but this I think that would somebody does something like that, despite might have just wrote it just thought. I thought this was funny. and then they didn't, they didn't understand.

Diamonds or a few years ago, was a go in there and like take their their hand into my hand and sit down and be like ok, now, listen they're my child. Now I know you thought this was funny, but this is wise. I'm supposed to I'm supposed to do that? Now? I don't want you to know, because what you are doing is still condescending. Now you treating them like a child, what you do. So what are you proposing sit down and talk and people. Actually have ended up like that shit that mark cuban get in trouble for what was fuckin bullshit. The guy was being honest way were always dogma. He got in trouble for being honest here to apologise for being honest. for he was talking about the clippers owner. And what he started doing was started taught. You started talking about his own issues, which I thought was Really courageous thing to do where he was saying, like look, you know, the world that we live in goes when I walked down the street. If I'm walking down the street at night- and I see a black eye

With his hoodie up, I'm crossing the street, if I then see a white guy with a shaved head and a bunch of tattoos on his neck and blah blah on crossing the street again, where he fucked up the hoodie thing which made everybody think craven yet, but what he was saying was was the beginning of this unbelievable fucking conversation that never happens in the media. It all is the person says the fuckin thing They get in trouble, they lose their fucking job and then they disappear and then and everybody learn. All the all you learn is all don't say that on television like this whole elimination of words, like if we eliminate the word like put people, don't they give not. I gotta think shit all. I would think that its racial slur. But now that I can't say it, I dont think those thoughts it's fucking out of its childish you're like moronic ion. stand. It work. Well, don't want to see that our here it on television but you're, not,

open the problem with which you are actually not always jackson, that someone is absent, fuckin locally, but I think what we're doing doesn't, I can work, go on the internet near and look at the look at the level of this type of shit out there. It's fucking off the charts and I dunno all right. So but you're doing when you eliminate these words, you have all these fuckin. Are the person all that what which, if you, half a fuckin brain. You just learn. Ok, don't say this. Don't say that also there and then, which you can basically do, is you can safely get across the minefield. With blowing yourself up now, while you still think all that ignorant shit, why you still want higher this person? Why you still want associate with this person why? You still feel this way why you said, stand in your ground. You can get all of that that entire fucking maize, because through watching for through Simple game of these are the words you don't fuckin say these are the words you can say all How should we doesn't she? If anything! That's in your heart.

That's all cerebral. These are good words a bad words and you can still have all of that awful shit in your heart and not to mention everybody has fucked up. Everybody has fucking, issues. Everybody has issues, they do You make those those people will say, I don't make a lot of those people say I dont see color are, I hate when people are shit, I hate when people yeah, what what are you near? You asian? I can't tell I don't. I don't see colors ridiculous when people get of that now. I I agree with that, not one that people also make assumption that go. Oh, your wife is african american. You can't be racist. You can't ever racist, it's also bullshit. It's also bullshit I at night, when I'm at you stupid my act that everybody a night is fuckin racist. Could you scared and you're trying to get to your fuckin cars or whatever you see you think the worst off. Can. I also hope that accident in our cuban point, when he's talking about why those added ring at that, because I think, can I also say that I think it's hilarious by any one- would think that mark cuban walked down the street anywhere. If he's not being like chauffeur,

A back are like flying in a private plane like mark cuban was the last time you walked down the street, and where can you hire he's a cool guy he's come out to a couple of comedy shows he just walks in the back the back on you know him, I didn't on v. I have the I've. I've seen him waiting and they got the bedhead I've seen yes, I've seen mark. Even you saw a club in vegas. was at the time, I was a look, the fucking you gonna vegas, with mark you, I didn't go it's vegas witty fly, you win now called, first cause if you flew first class and one to fucking, have to What do you want? I have retrain anywhere like I'm in the plane anyway, now I can answer this dilemma. Who is now the boy yeah? What's that Are you actually gonna like go back and answer this question? a daughter who was a how I guess I a ho, the first is homophobic question,

the dust and all that, but but what he's getting out there? What is getting out there? I like this, is so awesome how able to see like the new one unlike the lesson that were supposed to learn from this ridiculous. If you'd get off your fuckin high horse, what he's gettin out there is the amount of people that say they not my forward, but would want to have a gay son through Israel that Yang he's preparing having a daughter was of a whore, having a gay sunlight like that's the same thing and then he is also a whore, you know so I think it's like to me. This is like that. I can't get mad at this. Is this is, is the honesty what's the matter? what point there I hear something coming out from here. How long's it been going on I'm gonna fuck? Why don't we? isn't there just like a daughter whose a or a sun whose a whore because if I am making now because if the

four guy is a horror is concerned like a stud right, so here even enter the witch. Which is right by the way. This is why, which is right by the way, was his right. What's how the make up of which is right. What if, if a guy the sun is goin out there, crushing it he's a stud landed? Daughter is thrown out of air crash in that she's really love us that no she's not now she is now she is That is why I am talking about this. Question itself, but it's so I've been said. I'd say you were honoured with a whole or guy who's. Although, like five you, what, if he's like, I want a nineteen. I don't care, I would lay the exact same thing. If I had my nineteen twenty I arrived, I knew I wouldn't get stuff. Listen to me I'll. Tell you why the sun crushing

is an old bit of mike and I'm gonna but for you here in the pocket, because it takes skill As a guy layer, it is here, it is, you just exist, as a woman, and you can get wave is how it is and man should be applauded for their ability to stick it in a girl, Congratulations, men of the world who got lay north. This is people, you know what this re for you. You know all desire for man, because you're able to lag somehow can having sex with while you're a real fucking don juan over there. This is it now, it's a of just how hard it is for me to talk to you to even get a word in on this pockets. Now. Imagine I'm trying to fuck you that's what it is. And I remember a long time ago when I was How can you I say? Ok, let's switch the to was turn the tables you come. You were talking about the the dumb shit that guy sadia in a bar, and I said I, let's turn the tables that say I have control of my fuckin

sexuality right, that's my sexual, I dont know I like, and some hippies you have thanks. You were running yes, thank you, snap to the north and the south. twelve and sticks, honey now: what? If? What, if like. What was the scenario said if I control my sex drive, you did eat all means and I said for you to come in and start hitting on me, and I know what I was awful greatest line ever was. I just set their going like here whatever, and I was just doing all its I've been eating. You go. You are making this difficult on purpose and I said yeah welcomed the my world

that's what it was ooh so hard to be a guy, I'm afraid it's hard to be a game saying that such first of all that tire came in at the thought that that's what all feminism is based in. It's differ to be a woman and you're you're fuckin equation the dose offence The equation is basic. It's like what ok, lying in a bed, it's easier for a guy to lie on unnatural, nothing about feminism. You know nothing. so for you to sit here and try to act like you know what feminism is and what it means you needed stop lie darby our general women complaining it's what it is harder for: a for a woman to lose weight way the harder for us to hear what those horror ferrars. You don't need to speak about things that you don't know anything about, but I realized that hasn't. Stop you before

You ve been interrupting me for a fuckin half an hour gun on you and the black ass. So what do you want from me? You want me to a city ambulant. Why don't you want to be an adult? I thought I was being an either having an adult conversation. Where being you weren't being adult, you will fuckin talking over me, The blow hard welcome to my world used to shave. This is the way it works between us, nah, shut up, know saddam, so pissed immediate cup. I actually know I should have made those things right brought him in here. Looking at you only since we just moisturize your face. How would you like that near hawaii, recalling like an old bit of your I'm, not Is that an old both? Yes, it is what it was. I want that it's kind of a play on the punching muffins bear whose muffins Totally different but comedians like bitching over a joke mice, different minded minor cupcakes, ran. Ok, actually gonna finish, I gave a right. You can leave one swallow and stick in the refrigerator

fuckin weirdo. You have like fuckin fifteen things in the refrigerator that will have one bite or one sip left. I know I know it's ridiculous. I dunno I just went. The stick another me so super there until the fuckin tapioca one of the fucking tofu turns green, I don't why I don't just finish and meda you know, you've finished the cheese. My fucking get those nice fucking slices of cheese for my salami sandwich. I maybe get one sandwich with cheese on it and I come back. I'm like why the fuck is all the cheese yeah and then you put on your oh. I did something wrong, so I'm gonna make a cute face now. yeah. I guess I did You cannot cheese announced with me. I can answer this near. What would you rather have would rather have a daughter whose a whole or against on whose also a whole I would rather not have a child. I would even ask questions.

That is not an option. It's either or nope, not answering have you taken your ball and you're going out? That's right. Then. I know what you're gonna say: There were gay sums. I knew it because at least is a guy the sums are like a game. I shall never use out their russian it more on. Why both you and this person and ask this question. We talking about. Her gay some great first of all, you too eager teach you how to keep your tabs your fifty's As long as he's out there this is safe sex right I'm assuming they do he's a top

well cause you're, you're, gay, and if I have a gay son, he's going to be a toxin and if he's gay, you want him to be a top funding line for a fucking character in a movie. My son's game, while he's a top yeah, but it's it's a different. It's a totally until we still crushing it is ridiculous. This is like enshiu detective when woody harrelsteins character, when has like chickens, come home to roost, so to speak, Daughter is caught with the two guys in the kind such breaking out of her zhang lag. What's it being the captain of slut team or whatever and he's out there, pouring around like constantly? This is like the exact same scenario. Where he feels like he's entitled. to do all this shit fuck, all the women that he wants to and can anyhow his daughter is doing the same thing he's

looking at her she's getting like ground? There is no skill involved. All that you are. There is no skill and involved have nothing to do with skill. Okay, it is you don't have to talk. You don't have the fisherman that you don't have to convince a guy to fuck you like it's a sport like what do you have to do? What do you have to do? What are you The doha show a little leg yeah. come on what my red just stare, you think, I'm being them off, but I'm not gonna pull out gloves I gotta put on my big boy pants. You go and come up with an opening line year, former miss out on the days. Don't try to act like it so hard for you to get laid. Ok, don't don't perpetrate this myth that it so difficult for you you're actually perpetrating a myth for all of you, people aspiring comedians or entertainers. If you the easy pussy. You dig eddie murphy did it a long time ago. All you do have to do is sing comedians laid left and right. They get laid left and right, no matter how ridiculous

douche bag and dirtbag, but here's the thing. Here's! The thing, though aide left is the thing he groupies are lining up at the comedies that are always there are there is there is there are comments, oh my god, why did they show up when you're, finally playing a stadium, you go down to coffee house with a fucking, ukulele, ok, and so but he's blowing, and you know what, when you're fucking that's what I'm not when they were. the fucking sets all we need to keep playing the ukulele comedian you're funny on stage. When you get off you gotta keep fuck, you gotta, keep the place spinnet yeah, they'll, be and entertaining person in order to be considered worthwhile. That's everyone's issue! No! No! No! No, You can be some moby coffee house, guy

although a very bright, the sky is gray bright and I get off stage and just sit there with his shoulders slumped. They want to take carrier next thing. You know they're buying your groceries. He never heard the guns and roses they're like a whole fuckin at all, harem of fucking chicks, paying for paid for their shit y. Because those guys in helpless in any way shape or form. Our only have restless was that the actual rose come off is helpless, flash helpless If anyone look at those guys as like. Oh they need a mommy. I don't fuck enough, I don't I'm just saying that just don't don't put it out there that you gotta come a comedian, this get laid a certain economic. You have to be a good canal in that's whether thou, but there is also live funny yet near believing you believe. I have not had the groupies trust me. I have a bunch of meat had guys come out to myself and the occasional

get out psychotic woman I've been turned the corner a little bit, but I that's how you like. They were aware that you did have kind of the crazy chicks our coming up, see you afterwards, you did have a good period. well, yeah, because I was- and I was an angry believe it or not people. I was actually way more angry on stage hack day, so I think I scared a lot of them away. Nor I found like that me this is the deal. Is this What I found with is fuckin, a male comic. do you wanna get laid after this shows. I found the comics talk about sexual lot. You know, and then also them as the other ones who have like that slut our party energy, Oh my god, you guys, if you have like that five as a straight dude, that you you're pretty much in their right, you're, pretty much but the rest of us, the device yeah

still got. You got a kind of war. It's it's annoying, I actually I actually you actually have to like work at it and, like you know,. I'll you arrest me. I hate for a fuckin drink with who come and offer this all well, during the week Janni I put my fuckin ass, you may ones that last time I pay for a drink. Yes, I m out, since I guess you could hear any ears. Yes yeah, as if I'm not with you and I'm out, I by my own drains ya, think you very much every woman's a hero when their stories you are your main guys are all here boy for stuff, all the ladys independent you'd fuck throw your hands up, but then, when the divorce happens on just a girl I really know y know guys you jobs. I often hear some bitter divorce guy, that's gone through the ringer when it hasn't even fucking happens. You rule as habitable how to my

france, yeah and so on. So therefore it happens, you writes a year you might, even than ever today, as I have said, and I wanna be pulled out there in divorce. When did I say that happen to me you act like it's happened to you the way you talk about divorce and this and that how women do this and women do that and how come they never talk about it? You never hear them talk about it. You don't Well, here's some failure. If can only feel ass? If I can only talk about one, I've actually done would make you that would be like a button. I behaved like eight subjects. but why do I tell fuckin jokes? I go to the airport. You know what you can talk about a whole bunch of subjects that you may be read up on. No people have talked about it. He went on On the whole gay thing: you're, not gay, now, so, where do you get off? Tell me what I what subjects I can't I can't talk about to say

It's even better to share it with to share we going to end on a tie, let's say nametags and an attack now getting everybody all right. That's the podcast! With this week! That's it please! anybody vehemently land area? We got a couple more rose to self at the table, Nicole. But my my next special on June twentieth it's my mom. What else? Well, what else? What else all things comedy and that type of think my pocket network that I want to say something, but I don't want to say europe. Everybody knows what the fuck happened this week in an embryo shook up about it, and I dont know what I get keep getting conflicting reports that type of thing- and I feel this yeah, yeah diana! I don't I don't like. I don't like doing that because then they fucking, the the you know and so and so had this to say and it becomes like a fuckin and a career let me get more twitter followers, because somebody else's fuckin try

jake now people that you know so it's mine, it's not bullshit! It's jackson.

Okay, that's the podcast! This week, I'll talk.