hey what's goin on it's bill bird it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning potcast in a i'm just checking in on you yeh felick that was really loud when i first came on i apologized anybody just startled on an el tical oh god i just you know the fucky elleptica mebl you i can and if i get out o bed with do on the eleptico and you went downstairs in ae fuddy watdchy for fuckin breakfast fudgi waji was away em i fudgy what fung you the whale that from fuckin the wos at ice cream store called out there on the east coast and introducing fudgy the whale always look like a big fuckin i droll ling a big flounder that someone took a shit on yio own as much as i had a sweet tooth as a kid i'd never had any desert carvel ice cream fudgy the whale

voud you the whill they were on the cutting edge they saw the direction this country was headed id so these people are eaten and not stop it ok this not a trend this is the way it's going to bee we need to jump on this 's get some ideas for some cakes when we got here lot why would it be did a a fish dai what's the biggest fish o well n wearis a mammal shut the fuck up mark a whale a fuckin whale man a wail coverd chocolate and then you phreeze it it's actually ice cream but's also it's also a fuck in wale the a fuckin shitshuff that that's why we're going to make it brown that's going to be the thing it's a shit show and ready than in like go my god i can't believe i just pocket at that ye gain to pass out from the ye from the ex compenican what's amazing about

super overweight people is somebody at some point in their life down and ate one of those in one sitting by themselves you know like fock and boluchi and the caban out there at that falkin hotel down there we ud go to die when the fucket's cult chateaumamma ri speed ballin except the ice cream cake version of it ou went bolucia on that cake that meant you sat down and you ate an entire fuckin fudgy the whale yourself you know i a look that shit up now i to see what exactly like what you want to know wone at when a quarter back played in the innerfewl one was fudgy the wail fodgi the whale crazes for be a whole wikipedia page about it fudgie the whale was that famous oh my god look at that fucking thing there is

cupidio page that's hilarious all right fudgy the whale is a type of ice cream taket still exists still playing in the lake like tom brady but it's a cake produced and sold by carvel in its franchised stores it was developed by cavell in the seventies as spirits of of its line of freshly made products the fuck is fresh about that then yeah we just made that shit along with hug me bear and cookie puss that was another thing they knew porner was taken off these peat these people had eat so much they gan not gin to get any pussy so tha gainst thout watchin pornt so wigan to make cooki pus i part a branding in the media development although depicts the shape of a wale and was originally decorated as such it was sometimes adapted for holiday use by rotating at ninety degrees counterclockwise so

wale's body now up i could represent a face why meipoitsits it's then it would be in that whale would be in black face jesus christ the shit you could do in the seventies you gave a black face fuckin ice cream cake for christmas and no blanked wampshire people blink but nobody say the cookie pus now there's the one right there that's the acid trip that is disgusting is cookie puss in its noses and up upside down ice cream cone just a code the tip of his nose is green and it says egg on it enegg his little arms i what part of the internet but i feel phil cum get on a watchless here but shut this shit off anyway anyway it is ladies and gentlemen

i amal a few days away from my yan it laid a special paper tied's comin out i saw the first bill board last night drive it along out here an ele im got very excited as wha dels i c ose that buckit bald guy i gave a palgay a buckin bill ford doesn't et to do with hair plugs an i din was and it was all yours truly anywhere te last night ih my special coming out i went i saw once upon a time in hollywood again it was even better the cond time and i am i am convinced its leonardo de greatest performance the level of i might have to seet a third time just to catch all the ship that he was doing i had not been up no disrespect any all the other actors out there wut jesus christ the first time you see like a my god bread pit is the fagk in dout i want a be but this

good time you watch you like o my god omly anouter to capbrio i relate to what he's going throughh ha ha ha ha ha fogking amazing god thids of fuckin experience and actually went down this time total moving erd i went down to the beverly cinema which tarentino bought and you go down there the fledge sells out like every night and i went down there in the heady of this kuyn in the street all his cool march like tea shirts and like egget a of a button bread pit's dog i don't have ruin any the names of anybody or anything in it but jet you o they had a couple of posters from the movie hanging in the lobby oh school snacks a had candy cigarettes dad's root bear all of this ship from way back in the day ahm incredible in cried looks in u'm o fu and go again and i'll give us sha as long as it's buck can play in down there i'm understana gamery keep sane at till i'm sick of it ah

mandistre madisfac tie movie there's so much shid i want to say to but i want a roon if for anyboy just god wi'll see the god damn thing i'm all right they're with that we are only wedstrday thursday friday saturday sunday three days away yet tet the die boght e pit i put it a budditl to start o the unefell season far as i i believe it is i'll be on an airplane when it starts the new england patriots your defending superle champiest for the sixth ti trying to go back to back having lost some key people to free agecy in retiring an do it again who knows who he got to get lucky lhit glass joy played the fock and rams you got lucky tod girly got hurt a men tha changed the whole floghkin face of the game which i thought was really interesting

consider right now our suipable championships are book ended by beating the laa the look of rams franchise saint louis the first time los angels i don't give a fhought where that team is playing out of we beat him in the souper ball and their running back is either not used or gets hurt the first time for whatever reason they didn't use marshal fock i that they think it's onost like a fighter who boxer and he gets sucked into a brawl theg got sucked in mike marchs got sucked into whatever the fluck we would do in and forgot that he had the greatest fuck in running back in the league at that point ah and in last year we lefkt out where they got her yo you meet a little bit of luck they hel idcatch catch they let's not give it to fuckin na marshan lynch should throw it you can go eithe way little bit o luck little bit of luck sometimes on those close games

n kitty helma catches i was a great skill thing i would say the fuckin adenot that the second giant loss that we had with they fuckin through the ball get two guises in his face he just fuck and throws it up in the yearn it landed perfectly but that it's likeful that's the second time he did it so is it luck ore the s the pay to me losin i dor not whatever but i definitely i'll take all three those losses two to the giants one of the eagles to win set of a bay that's what we did still waiting for my rings that set college footballs in full swing maybe will get a couple of two two or three good games cals frop pals sowhere in the beginning where it's just litterly let's watch an eighth greater fight of farst grater it's the first two three weeks of the season they've gotten better at it a sort of eno levelled out a little more with the scholarh ships which made for some great upset can't get rid of this buck and coffec wot te guds that got damn black mole they go out there

i was breathing it in i think i got rid of i think it's i' ager to get somebody over you if i can figure out what's going on maybe i have a large and so have any lodgings here hees y ki trouble you for a lodsin ah but as always i have no falk time in my day i'm running around like a lunatic and dealing with the fact that my lovely daughter has now decided to assert herselfs sit ney goin like terrible tooths whath the helseas talking about she's an ouri would i without this kit's an absolute sweetheart and now right about the midway point sweet wend three of a sudden she sto this now no thank you i don't want it as shich ye same wecom oun be going a way ad give you a bath no thank you i don't want it and he has guessed at there and laugh then she gets mad that you laugh there really is no proper response

am a just fok on deal with to put out what i am happy with this i i have really learned ah i'm not going be a raving lunatic screaming and yelling parent granted i'm just with the totler but i don't know what you know temper temperes is really ruined a lot lote events and aspects in my life and i don't plan on anything with my kid being ah one of events so so far so good two and a half years down fock fifteen and a half ago esahahha ha ha ha i got a doose just hold my temper for another decade and a half ah you know although i cannot upset my wife already this morning i woke up boodoo lu du it and i couldn't find my flash cards i'd outline the first chapter and a half fdia

tetestia pilot think for fucking your instrument training and i couldn't find my cards and i had was maintain in it i was ontaining my fukin as a guide whatever it's only it genly lest a chapter an half i could a lost all eight chapters i could have done that ah ed ah you kdon't that my wife lett me onm not feeling well you know she says that asm i told her o'm looking for my carts i'm not feeling well where and you have somewhere to be i kind of snappd i said i'm goin a watcher i get you don't feel well and then it turned out she was just asking to see if i had a lesson to know i am that being un upsent the wrong and i found my flashcards you know when yet that wrong you know ye's so fugk and wrong that your wife loves it you and then he get if you like ah i thought you were saying that because of this and

i found my flesh i mean' told her i faun makes the flash cars yet i got a tell o that when i go in which is right thing to do cosette it's just total shame totally feel like a fuckan assl and the feel fallidays and they feel great ecause the mat t's going around it's about their emotions ah i had such a funset the other night i ran my hour cause i got out the special next week of havin mentioned nine million times and i got vaguust this week can have already done the hour that's an part of my special as time goes out there and i just have to make sure they do something totally different even though city so i went over a flap s ah did a little over an hour at the best time that an bit i'm doing about lesbeans that had the two ladies yell at me and then wait to yell at me some more and fucket thought i was a biggest cave man ever

two women in the front row hold in hands clearly a couple or these they saw something herrific before they came to the show and they were using each other emotionally i did the tney fought and loved that they would die and laugh an so that we go there we go having said that i'm sure if i put it on a special they will continue to freak out and flip out by people i mean like three per cent of the population i had somebody who's not a commet and actually texs me and be like can you please explain to me why everybody is flipping out about that chapelship chapella special and i go they aren't they aren't the very small portion of the fucken population is wave and their arms and then every news agency picks up on that because they care no because upset people makes the fock at eep a waving in desperate situations always made the news the faghk an drug epidemic this fifteen fuck in year war whatever ind would have gotten this out of control ar

but they made my off that shape to aantises so they pochk and ignori so thay wanted they do twenty eight people holdin up fockin signs they put on a goddemned cue card became the kin you know fire storm and i'm sain i do nobody soll i went to the super market people are fine no one was stayding there gone i i kel i got a kick at these apples because of these jokes i heard swill slipping out about jokes but were ignoring fucking the country going bankrupt cunt ebeing bankrupt were ignoring that that's not a flock in story their finally coming around to hey woa what's going on with the g epidemic and i read something in the in the yad the sunday paper my favorite old man thing to do get a sunday paper and sit down and act like you're a man of the world and want a what's going on next year the nerve to call sentinel they so call it mexican fetnah this

sekan feten all that's comin in an all hes mouth breaytthe more they got ther maxkin fringin his thought e fat nall in er gid ner kivs bet it right now fednald like cocacola is us we started that shit far as i know it in researcts of fetnat and aware came from natty doctors i've no ideai'stt ot for a while ripend out but in the last hout orn a how many years they made a fuckin went out to the mainstream and as far as thot brant sports real sports these kids were givin these fock and opioids like football players and then when they run of the prescription they we dicted and then they turned to harowit so heroine i guess market sky rocket but make it heroines of pain in the fuck an ass growin a fluckan ginow crop what's going to happen for them loki's going to come in an fuckin main line all my poppy' seats that's a southern mexican

ah nows withouat voice was right there so they ware we can just eknow people flyin overseen of crops they fuckin come they burnt em down at the pain of fuck and askd the evidence is just sittin outside you get him an eye to ore we could just make the pills ourselves and now their makin the same way they make cin coke a collar down there the way we used to up here with real r one hundred per cent imported sugar you know that's why the mexican coke is better if you guys have away from mexican coke they make coak better than we may cook american coke merick ah stakes it's not as good as maxin cin cook no falk insense whatsoever you know that's like them making american cars not in america why would they do that well whyt weight what's goin on here ah but nont

ats a facan issue none o that's a fuckan issue o my god did you hear thend knot not joke somebody fuck and told jesus christ as actin a changed society whall societi es we know it not be able to survive cause somebody did a joke about a gender neutral bathroom rum brook rum that's all buchn sa misdirection nere ahm then he was so i'm a little bit of a fuc antanget here oh right so i go to my follow up appointment today with my doctor for my very close vein which seems to be healing nicely although i keep getting a reoccurring bruise goes a that it coes back goes wan it comes back an and all you guise again to go on fuck an web m d be like he got some sort of internal bleeding ah i don't need your fuck and explanation sac kay as pasty as i am on board a line transparent a right there are no secrets within my body the

there on the surface and he can come in and just read me like a fucken road map my doctor appointments thay known uph the perbe that ont to do an thing i just take my clothes uff and stand there naked ley guyd she'd probably get a fatty liver saded from across the room here jesus chrice do you ever get out the sun i'm man y presription for whatever vide him in what fightemen does this sun give you oh bitem and see for cancer the jesus my can book an age and oh no oh no what is this i getta take this thing on i gott a hip pause a ride on back he's ack and he's dumber than ever i right yt just found i got my mother fuckit i got my pack sticket for the bage fieds verst of fuck in redskins i be there ha ahem being a jerk and i can to be sittin there where in a bunch of patriot's ship

screaming and yelling among just to sit there respectfully and i root for my team and not be a flucken assel that's it you know that's what i do you know i cause i really really enjoy not getting the kicked out of me in somebody else's fockin football stadium i don't need to do o kayte i came close enough that time i took a leak it dist inside the stadium in a buffalo bills those can piece of shit france are today there is a reason why they've never won a super bowl and god put that lake there to just raing snow on em for ckin nine months out of the year there is a reason those people deserve it hokey and i bet if you go back and if a dig if you could somehow get through that frozen tunder through the what's buried in that fuck in soil you know everything from native americans to falkan altar boys

sorry that one went dark what he fluckin want for me o k i jist a boarda line literate fuckin balb ckand redheaded mail just trying to get through a goddamn podcast that's all s try to make in with my loo innernet radio show speaking of which we have some advbertizin here as a new one oh max what are you doing o max problem o kat they get right to it whether youare an athlete weak and warrior ar some one who deals with constant joint pain back tay muscle soreness or arthwrightus finding a natural remedy that instantly works might seem non existent most with the counter pain relievers such as icy hot and bengaye shot fire callin out products by name oh

focus on one basic cooling effect such as menthol mental lip which temporary takes your mind off the pain until that pain returns in an hour or so if you're lookin to get rid of nagging muscle and jointd pain immediately while providing long lasting recovery than you need all capitals nay to try the natural break through pain relief solush a ma try the shed on my knee a relief solution cryo frieze see be deed developed by o max health o mac health this quick absorbing scientifically backed formula provides pain relief instantly this non prescription il action pain relief roll on specially formulated to pain receptors reduce inflammation and improve muscle and joint flexibility those last two are really important cause plenty of shit that just blocks pain receptors

actually looks like it actually helps the problem the part is this is one undrer cent natural s be powdered remedy works its magic within ten minutes of application and relief last up to eight hours much longer than over the counter products it supereeze you throw on in your jim ba ah it's suopor easy to thrown ye jim bag and take on the go for emergency painfully simply roll it on over where it hurts and ica the pain with an arctic blas yet you not use the odorint you find c t a whatever that means oh max is offering my listeners twenty percent off a full bottle of cryo freese freeze pain relief roll on plus shipping the count also applies towards any products sight wyde just go to o max dot na health doc o m a x h e a

t hd dok con to day and enter the code bur ex all lower case all one word b u r our x an they have it in quotes undrnoth yet to put him quotes to to take advantage of this incredible saving sets o m a x h e a l t h doccalm and enter and enter the code burr to get bur x a to get twenty per cent or maybe it jhis burn i think its bur the yellow type of ana faquinot twenty per cent of cryo frees sightwise oh max you've again all right hullo franze um cookmeals made simple that's capitalize sap up miny sur start yelling any time make they capitalize an entire word o k hello fresh meals made saa hello fresh makes cooking eat delicious meals at home a reality godless of comfort in the kitchen

terrible things happened me in there with a stick of butter from step step recipes to prithic i just lost than evertose from bites step recipes the pre measured ingredients you'll have everything you need to get a wileworthy dinner a a table at just about thirty minutes say good bye to endless grocery store trips and take food hello france she covered break out ah break out of your dinner rut with hello fresh twenty plus seasonal sheft curated recipes each week there's something for everyone eleve that were curated you man yepicktd it yourself everyone thaugh we trun out specially curated there's something for everyone my clothes that i wore to day were curated i picked them out myself that i changed my tea shirt twice that's when it becomes curated rather thy just throwing something on there's something for everyone from family recipes to cowrie smat and vegetarian and fund menu series like

hall of fame and craft burgers o must voice unique hello fresh vanity you are ou special offer and unique promocobof i can give it me o yeard is fraid he allas off your first month of hillo fresh go to hollo fras dot cam sla bur eighty an ter bur eighty b u r r eight zero repeat offer vanity you are ell and proh i'm going to all this is just a lazy copy and pasting here this isn't therefore it's like receiving eight meals for free or you twenty dollars off your first for boxes o k for eight yt all is off your first month of hello fresh go to hello fresh dot calm hello fresh dot calm ashbar eighty and enter bur eighty right last one put yeur box ah my favorite yami yami but your makes it easy to get high quality humainly raise me that you can trust ah could i ust yo peg

an i tell you this story and know that it ends here every butyour box delivers a hundred per cent grass fed and grass finished bee free range orange organic chicken sere heritage pork that my favourite but chop overhead an while de las kan saym and you don't know why shan a do man do i y to your door and shipping is free true four curated boxes i select that shicken amem or customize your own box so that you can get exactly what you and your family love each comes with least nine eleven nine to eleven pounds of meat and i'm sorry but we won't september 11th nine to eleven pounds of meat which is enough for twenty four individual size meals or one of those skinny asian dudes what he fucking is going to win another title there in coney island goine to hear it at all

meat is frozen at the peak of freshness in individual vacuum sealed packs all meat is delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping my favorite cut is the heritage breed port at the thousand times best poor chop i ever had absolutely cking delicious new subscribers will receive ground beef for life that's right side up to day a butcher box will send you two pounds of one hundred cent grass bed bee fra and every for the life of your subscription twenty dollars off your first go to box pin but twenty dollars off your first box go to butcher box stock com sleshburg or and promo code bur at cheku t's put your box stock com slashburg or enter the promo codeburd that's all the capital sa stonry yelling mor b u r r all capitals et check out all right we go and where are we here in the recording as i got a go to the dor de i

fourteen in change plus eight nine in changeis nine ad changet twenty five minutes i get five moment in the bullship my a thing to do in the world jest his bullshid when he do not man out jis boshin as yo ha spokin with you she has foughten je's havin a good fook in tam im right so it begins this week en my for ir feel like really official ah show than i've got to be doing i with special looming in the future an i'm goin hard man i can't wait i have not smoked a cigar tuesday last week at nine days that's hal i have to do just once every couple of weeks i just shet i i i smoke cosent all during those hopes two weeks i just looked back fondly on the last one that i smoked and in anticipation of the next one rather smoking like a fuck in three four seven in a week

i just hate myself going one of my going one of mii got a stop doing thas i got a stopped doo en e sigan i stopped doo in thi cheknow than i don't enjoy itis just a giant guilttrip but i do wante two weeks micoa may that sad's how a gentleman does it everything in moderation my mamma we said everything in moderation just do everything in moderation well lunatic so i don't know a flaught to do that psycho i like that lime the may continue doing it they go started to it like i try to monitor my eah i'm trying to that nowt like even just ship that like woe put ye out on the street like gright now i have a i have a little bit of a problem peanut emanems do you imagine me going on in a duck mentryof about a diction bi

and it's all these foct horrible things of people you know lost their lives and lost their families and lust where they live families talking about hem and then they get to me and i just sit down em ceerin up and to theacks the same level of pain and as these other people and all i all i'm talking about his painted eminence i can't lay off and i'll tell you right now if you makes like literally one of those like you bags they put over a horse's mouth when they read notes they have bag like that and it says family size but you know god them well you know you're eaten it yourself show this one that's like almonds and that is fuckin one i get that one i swear to god i take my soff the wheel you think textan in driving his bed you d a bag of those in eminems that's it i have littlely ike to grab a handful rez good thing and stick it up on the top shelf and just like walk away and just

end then be like totally aware after i eat five of em to be sitting there going like you don't want any more that's the sugar right now telling you to go get some more you have to fuck and ignore that and just sit here for about eleven minutes and then that craving 'll go away and then what you did was you had portiong control which manums tries to help you since it's a hundred forty calories for serving if you do one of their portions which i think is above five eminence i don't know whan it is i've no fuckin it get i had any want enough completely ah i'll be in um thes gomies miht bring in this shid up is because as i try to fuck and clean up my life it's like when i when i put out the fire in one area something else just it's can flame up and i think that that's why people say we in moderation because then gettin warmed by the fire rather than in haven your burning your house down a

the balance a life as if you could totally stop out one fock in fire another one just as big begins maybe with the same ramifications i gife you look at all these a a people all these fogk could dry drunks there's somethin that their doin to fill that fock in void like you know i got one of my bodies he kin you know it was food i got another body its cigars you know i only have like i got one friend of mine whois a sober friend who i feel like he put the drug and alcohol fire and then like didn't become fat didn't become a lunatic smoker dozen falkane don't its swaggest its the same thing jusie moking are our eating sto be the falk an thing so coming up on three hundred days in a

pproaching three hundred days i now feel like on one of those unnoying focking people who canch ot the fuck up about fock it is that that doin you know the peop i used to hate when i was drake it can when i was just go like i still eightam you know i own people do exactly what i'm doing right now put what i'm doing what i what other people are doing i want you to sit there and listen to it eyw i've just gone for three or sixty eight days three sixty nine days then i break the record then after that i dun'tnow i wil if i see that once upon a time in hollywood again and i know drinking and smoking that goes on in there you know one of my favorite fucking things in the world is to see somebody in a movie drinking and smoking in their house and if it's a fucking cigar i look at it like jesus christ like that guy

that i figured it out you miss a dale if you can fughk and be at home in is silk fuck robe its lepers and you like a fockin like a creey t v rum all right an you can sit in there with your wife or girl friend smoking a fock and cigar while nkin a drink during the middle of the week ike you need to write a book i want to know how the fuck that's done actually i don't because then oll fook i don't know sa tough thing what d'ye do these is the thing you love to do and die at fifty nine or not do the thing ye give fuck and love be around for people that love you and just have this extra thirty years of misery i mean it's of twenty years of mesier mate's a fock and choice

choice it needs to be made ah rry with that gi vuckawa to go ovagueez and then ye no arm i told you when goe sea fulkin i eltn john the next day rocki ey i i ever e is i i love every song he's ever done except for the lion king one i just just and i was in a bed part of my life when that song came out my was really bad really dark really horrible and that was his bethere you fee you des to die no no elden the kid and everybody was like playing it and foughk in love in it can ney kid to it and all o that shit so i dunot i think i'll be all right but i know play all that in seventy shit that's what i want you know read i'm still standing but in

had anything before i still say i a looking forward to that i think that's it that's basically the potcasts congratulations to everybody was a football fan and a fell starts this week he got college football on saturday i mean i don't know how gets an eter be a vaguus for college fucking football and i'm going to be at a sport's book somewhere smoking a sick imagine an just in imagines this is my house ye know and everything worked and there was no black mould again nice pipe and everything else i've dealt with in this fucken house and i would have a great gadday on time and i would ever kill a frock could show and i want to thank everybody that's coming out to see me an a workn with an old body mind that started out with me in pos the days the great ctilea e da my body deen dell rahke

those two will be open an hit yef uckand soft thee up that i might come over and hit you over the fockin head i'm win a smile and wave you guis get to go out and gamble and win some money hopefully and ima to go in the back and smoke a fockand cigar my lovely lady you don't watch a little college football than go see elt john the next day that's my fuck and weaken and helpe all you guises have as great a week and lined up as i do go pats patriots steelers right out of the gate the stealers and the fock in misery if they win the game will the referees let them win at this time noped all of these questions will be answered come this sunday or i don't forget to go to church moto g p nothe race i don't miner where they rat but i nots s it's going to be amazing an markd marqu as loss

on the last turn of the last two races so i think he's goit to be fuckin driving like an extra lunatic with any luck that man will not be in first place ah at the beginning of the race and then you get to watch him drive around and a lot of times through the other people and for know how he does it he literally like side swipes people you know at at eight he somehow he doesn't fall the other person falls re part o the motocycle a on thy that happen to him i think the vitzialso took one of his pegs off for some shit in one of the races and always fughk in amazing ah and i have to watch that last formula one race where ferrari one which is help they start when in some mork as nothing would be nothing would be better for that sport if they could be some competition for those milton a right that is it

god bless all ye have a great wiekedgic cuts i'll check it on yo monday a minat allah give you pon jest a monday and a thra the music and emy of an extra half power a bonison there's the amgeof een right hom i must behove her m oo oh wa ma fa madam ma a me nothalove eter menan on another on a low law the man them m dedam an the ganin no moter that non a aoma mvyamanne i ea mom ay which no one on its builford as the monday morning five pars for monday september fifth thousand and eleven ah happy

again layby day oh my god cheetah kid you believe it at the end of the summer no dressin like a eh i can already at the bottom of my bump cheeks then no could a his tan the lea the change in palar jest like my years ha ha ha ha ha ah haw bout a fuckin rond of applause for the drunk horse who spill wine coolers on their little white fluckin cuchi cutters isn't that great turn's a little bit and they sit there with their club soda and it looks like their trying to finger the lit but they don't know where it is you know thet just to the left of it i can't get the fuckit stagging off marcia should you have another pair of a hore shorts that i can wear around the fuckind beach and attract some

thedumbes fuck in men possible and then i can pitch about my life and say that all i meet is ass holes despite the fact i have my pussy lips hanging out that labor day everybody and da i was goin to tell you gaslin was something about laborday but there's nothing interesting about it ye in case you weren't if you're too lazy to go to while wicky pedian look up labor day evidently thot labor day of the united states ferbal holiday soper weaber a and it was thutc'h the first montey in september the history labord day started in nineteen eighteen eighty two thill gives a fluck right snot thi minute alli knows is basically exposed to celebrate the american worker you know that guy used to make stuff in this country remember that robin shit back in the day when you have those guys an they are blue on blue dickies and you'd got

ota to do so you ul reach for a bottle of ketchup will you go to you know grab your razor blade like i make those me my es we make all of those full fuckin country and they had pride as razorblades and they may catch at bottles in the same goddemn factory yeu know a what now at all fuckin left because it agreed everybody wanted more and now all fuck het gone and now i'll see and shit on the inner net go in now how we going to compete with china i'll say i well get a compete with them wo do the old packer's sweep that's what we should do if o could bring the fuckin facto back here everybody had orderd this everybody's got ta stop being a greedy cunt from the sea o at the top to the

do she wants to get the union jobs twe can lean on a fuck and shovel and milk the clock i blame all of you and i don't look at my life and find any fault because i'm an american we i d is right and everything you guys do was you're greedy not me yet i made myself a tuna sandwich yesterday i was i three quarters of the way way through and then i finished it as i knew that there's some kid fuckin out on an iceberg up there an alasket sheu went on well blubber and he would kill for that fuck in tune o sandwich you know the a little story for ye see ose and unior workers what dno't you think about that next time he guies asked for more folk and money think about thik about like me in my tuneo fish sandwich ay and a tet the

fuckin story to make any sense to you that i cant be onnes i i really can't help you i do the fuckin math ah ah fut i don't want to do this pat yesterday i don't think i will be funny i's gotn make shit up ti guess about libya fugkins the to the ocean you know know you didn't see it on the news it's cause they don't want yet enough you know r living over here in a bul i know it's going on to wa what's to deal with livya dot come why con labedar if nobody wants you guys doing to celebrate the end of the summer you put your boat aw he'd taken it out one more time contemplating it you from the back of the head and saying it was a boding accident ha ha ha ha ha hah

tire lard as to a fuck in one water ski jist yet op what would you do a let's make that more modern hade dispose of a body nowadays back of the day he gave a mah game concrete s a eg nowadays what you do wis you yed take out two old lap tops from the early fuck in two thousands ye strap him to oer feet you just throw her overboard yenough when then ye to say that she was so i don't know what fuot you say ye asked for a fugkin lawyer that's what you do you don't you don't say anything that's what i've learned watching the first forty eight you don't say then he just sit there where were you stay july ninth no might being charged with anything ah sir ah were wor i'm not answering that a my

charged the thinkg if i if i'm not unleaving if i am of getting a lawyer tat's tough that's what i learned on the first forty eight but it's scary scary to stand up to copse you know i think tha deat's like what you'd like to think that it did i think that on the first forty eight they just show all the good ship where they don't slap live and shit out of somebody and they basically they solve all the murders on that shelf you know they don't show the ones iutot thaan there's been a couple o guises i guess at fortwight wend we fie so six minutes thein thenjoyable a hisa ckle that somebody sent me i'll flock that if i got right the articles and i'm gong to be reading for fifty five minutes in potcas has is to suck ta god damn at bell fuckin man up tell a god dhem story aret one a hears story im i

i'm desperately desperately trying to get tha an mi diet o my god by stomach iths hanging over my trousers now i went on the road for two and a half weeks and try as much as i as i could to try whom my road diet which is to have oatmeal in the morning sort o salad with a fuckand slab of fish you know stay away from the boots that's what i try to do o kay and i can do that for the most part for wekened if i'm on the road like this week of going out to columbus ohio all right a plain the funny boat down at the mall everybody all right and what he goes you to efor granted you know guise don't realize how big i am at this point i implay it playing the funny bone comedy club at the maw in columbus ohio o k that don't you go

wish that you took some chances in your life ay you could stand dance like a monkey in between a hot topic and a sun glass hut would you s to you yaw you picked the safe root dinya oh 'mgoing to get an education now slaughin now as you sit there and you bedroom colonial next to yo taned up wife shot out three can kid still as a flat stomach as you got enough money to suck the fat out of her stomach with a a i you baby ya lyposuction give certificate that's all empty i'm telling you gues you haven't fughk and lived antil your cross from misseers and roebuck inach in yeknouwh and caddy cornered from a fuck in jac penny and you stood there and you told your unresearched jokes i can't fuck an wait to do this gig

last night i went out to flappers i swear to god that's the name of a comedy club flappers in our burbank and i think that that's an old showbi's term that meant dancing hoar in the avon ill days and i went out there and i had a great god damned t is something i'm working on in my act right now i'm not to tell you guys what it is al right could that be like if ice an showed you the rabbit i put it in a hat and then zaig watchmeg pull a rabbit out of the hat you know i'm sure i use that example before but you know i wha don't you wing a podcast of fuckin hour every god den we can let me see if you don't repeat stories jesus attitude you people this week on a thim holiday stand up blot there ah yet this is basically what you don't yo treat stand up just like a fuck in athletewood all right

look i don't know what's he didn't you have some sort of problem with his game at all you know what the fuck it is not what the fuck does let's less pick shack all right let's say shat shack was a stand up comedian he would not have changed a joke for twenty of don't stand up all right he' that shooting file taken fole shots at the beginning of hi er and he shoted at the end of a ede work on his guod dam gave all right he was a big golf eat ton the ball and he slammed his nuts and people's faces he did it from day one right into the end of his fock and career every one knew he was going to do it more the same shack and then he got other people they adjust their fucken game so as me i don't know what to do hoe o my swort am i supposed to do with my act fardy dhon two hour long spechs got to try some new so i am going to new onca territory and

van ivan i've doing the work can use the left hand no i can hold the left the mikan left hand now basically with cosette was at even remotely interesting not any with telip talke all i know is i'm excited that i back in loss angeles after last week ah when i was put on punishment on my goddamn podcast implot i'll tell i'll tale you i will never forgive new jersey for that in my four years of doing a i never been so insulted by a poor excuse for state in my entire life the fuckan nerve the fogking nerve of the hotel system out there an in a newbrunswickh new jersey to treat me like that if you and you'd think i'm ever going to go back out there and grace that falk an stage you are absolutely correct gasamohor i'm always going to do it

i don't give a ship i don't care if you make me whisper my entire flock at podcast i will come back to whatever mall you have and i will tell jokes is what the whot else am i get to do you know you can't parachote out of this fuock and job can't tell jokes the twenty fuck in years at the decide you going to be a lawyer or can ye fuccat know all i know is lately i lately i think i had a number of people from ah from the past like people i haven't seen and like fifteen years will come walking up to me and be like kay remember me wheever we did stand up backwand oban was still alive and a bel go ye ye hw you do how are you and then the alie you know i'm thinkin about getting back into it

an i allwaet whatever they say that to me i want a grab the nearest blunt object and start smashing them over the head with it ye know hat's i thought why the fock would you ever get into this awful business in your forties why would you ever do that i could see bein dumb in your twenties i'm could it be a star people good love me it's good to be who that's what you suppose that they coun get twenty stan ye fluck cul get in there you see what it really is eadin in a mal swiden into fifty why dhe ie swerto god the next mother focker from my stand up past who comes up to me telling me that y was smart enough to get out of this guide then business they got married they had kids they got a focky job and now for some reason that they throwin that all in the shutter get back in this godden business i swear to god i am goon

i won jackie or glove that goes right up to my elbow and i'm going to put it on really slowly and slowly i'm ghin to take it off and i'm ghen a slap em across the focken face with it you arde yer guad dear might don't you realize that most of us end up on cruise ships why would you do that to your family right he was smart enough to leave o is anybody for my stand up past to listen to this and is thinking about getting back in this big let me made the right decision o k christ auri i what the fuck of talking about you let's tell a couple of ors ah i went to a focking awesome wedding this weake it was actually an after party this couple did it perfectly they eloped big bank bum they ga fuck married

a dah they announced it everybody was excited for and then they had a fuck after party like three months later they have this after rdy everybody gets dressed up they got a parmint they go to the park it's fuck in free and all everybody has to do was just bring food and if you traveled they said just bring drink and if ye birthday was in june make desserts and that was it and we went there we had a great fockin type they talent show and ever e was goin up and was all these people could aying an play and o guitars and stuff and they were singing these songs celebrating this couple finding love and getting married one of those awesome awesome fucking a receptions that actually makes you want to get married you know what i mean s one yo go to wee just set ne going on jesus i give this about three monthsefect ive told

story before i go fuck yourself that time i went to that that wedding and the groom was toasting the is the liz his wife is bride and he was like searching for words he's like i'd like to toes my wife fu for rah a granting me out jest ow everybody just starin down at the fluckand half eaten chickena s awful but this was the oppie that this was arsom they were both blow they were dexcited and their parents were happy and it was fulk and great so and the food was was gratesomely brought like a bunch in lburgers it was the shit aright with the bae god wedding ever went to me anddia went we had a great fucking times with g that were watching all these towns o people going up there some people being funny some peoples these really great songs and it was just awesome all of it was it

delibration of this couple finding love o k and then all of a sudden this fock in lay goes up to the mike it ride off the bed js to give you a little voice by not of the vice a little description she's wearing a pretty much see through dress i give you close enough you can see her brais an pannies but there's a s a pattern where there are not totally exposed but there's not enough of a pattern that you can't see her brie and pannies so ride off the bat she's given you know to me it's like wen wyn one a the fensive tackle figures out whatever the quarter backs kick is and can figure out if it's a runner a pass it's the same thing she there with their broad pannies exposed right there she said i i'm to try and steal focus and make the ship

all about me faht you know nobody really saw it coming so she alks up there and after everybody is sitting at this wonderful fucking wedding that is brating these two wonderful people finding she goes up there and this is her opener she tiok up and on the mike she goes am i think i deserve a round of applause the i'm the one who set these two people up that she starts there's an awkward pause awkward silence and then people just sort of clap like i k and then she proceeds to tell a story of how met the gr loquer in the groom where arats she started to tell the story how she set up the bride in the groove and she

talking about how the groom hed just got of this treacherous relationshof hemberhkipt using that were treacherous selationship i had ot got not of a treacherous leiger she starts bringing up axes o k she already made it about herself she got a fucking round of applause then she took a bow like she was like we decided to applaud her like she was mocking the applause it's like no bits you fluck an ass for it righ then she brings up do its axes and then starts talking about how when she introduced the two of them they talk for like an hour and afterwards i said to the bride thouh what did you think she got in on night gy and then i said i think he's really into into you at thaten she said oh he was thento me i thought he was gay so she brings up groom questioning basically his sexuality and it was a fa inmasterpiece ten inits of

she steered the wedding into the sun and she ut the other fock inside and everyone was on fire after whic it was it was so fucking horrific he know it reminded me of it reminded me of the in a day when i first started to instand up and i i was working the cowloon the chinese restaurant o rout one an saaugust do get a fugkin poopo plati kid fuckin scoropian balls ah suc chojaufar i come have come from work upstairs at a chinese restaurant to working in a mall in columbus ohio i am actually love that fuckin gave me when i'm in the club i feel like i'm in a comedy club but when i walk out you now cut across from a fuckin dick sporting good it just it just kills it for me so anyways ploughing what that that that lady did it reminded me of when i first start

doing comedy i was sitting at the back of was next go stop at the cologne and i was in the back and i was watching these guys who been doing it for like five six years and i was in awe of this game that they were playing because i was so new i would go on stage and all i wanted was the crowd to like me so i could somehow not get heckled not get booed and survive another day in this fock brutal business but these guides you know they knoew what the foct they would do and so they were playing this game where you would go on stage and the first thing out o your mouth you had to completely make turn the crowd off you had to make the crowd fogking hate you absolutely fucking hate you and then you wil immediately go right into your act and you never addressed what the fock yu said you hnave they that it was a joke you just don't address it and then you try and see if you can get him back and it was fucking hilarious it was really hard to find that perfect thing to say to

everybody immediately fucking hate you big what most comics did was there went so far that what they said was so over the top and so ridiculous that crowd knew they weren't serious and they would actually laugh ah that i swear to god it's like a tightrope rope i don't know you can do it on purpose but this lady at the wedding was the greatest i've ever seen anybody do that she walked up there and within after s i think id a round of applause immediately hated her and you felt that everybody did not everybody speak on projecting here but i i think some people dir just too good of human beings to just hate someone like that or even suspect that just such good people that they would never suspect that somebody would try to make moment like that about themselves then you got jaded cut like me

o k and i see through this bitch just like i can see right through her focking dress ad dab have to tell you ou the more i thought about it it was it was zayye i was actually it was almost like performintces art so now that i'd feel i have told this story way to focking long but if you gies many stories like that like the din off the steed base the steeval shami character and in adam sandler's the wedding crasher that's sickly what i was watching a dive you guys have any great stories like that like really unique ones that i want to hear the ones they got drunk and he said something stupid i think those have been dunto death unless you have a really unique story or possibly vidio of it i'd love to see it i but anyways so then she ended up getting off and then nat and the disern continued he know it was fos fac and tremendous m i ash he had a couple of those moments as week ent

noi wazza lagasetta m i'm off my diet it' a kead of a fuckin man am i let em talkin about on a goddi die what happened you know i know what i love about the greatest generation is when you walk down the street ye say a load o um fatkedate enthusiastically sail ow back to yo i fught and love old people to walk it down the street with my dog lee ol right we had just goneon a high and di i see this old older fellis walk in the other way and he's look ridte at me and i said eg a mornin he goes ag goo you tor warry you nice little conversation made you feel likeyoy a bit beginning uplike a disty will be right then lik ea thirty yards down the street ti summat like my generation

so am i you know that i put a flucked song in my heart i'm half skipping down the street i see this person my age to mac kay are you doinps hary hor umbled some shits i can't like the lie we get hid by a fluck and car so anyways as i said alontg off my diet and i i's coming back home from the club ilk as a a like ship when i was on the road and among the crack right now igae sugar and salt pouring through my system and i am driving home and i just go home and my fuckin bodies going nto the super market by a vhat of ice cream and fuck and stick at your pie hole ye so i'm a weak individual i winda rauphs the worst name ever for a grocery store ralph's slang for puking and yor self food right no one ever thought that whether the how big is your goddamn ego ralph that ye stil it after yourself ah

ways i go into this place and i a i get the fulk ind ice cr and as of standin standing up there see see this this impulse things things it says the top whatever fuck twenty places to get breakfast in los angeles and get on the cover they got this goddamn egg hamd bacon and se sandwich on a bluttery biscuit it just looked absolute delicious like a set um on the crack you know if i was eat no illand having the salads and all that type of ship i would look at it and and that food wouldn't even make sense to me you know but because i got the salt sugar in my vein's right now i'm fhiened in i was like a bine that bucket magazie if i could eat that cover right now i would so i buy the magazine i come home i show it to my lady right and they got all this list of the best folk in places to get breakfast in los angeles and das

side wegin to pick one out we're ging to go there the next day and i got a tell you something i got i got an overrated for you overrated picking up ckin magazine that list ten ret places to go to breakfast and then believing that no one else read the magazine and there's not ging to be a line three miles long the next fock and morning when you show up to get your pancakes that's exactly what happened we pull up and i see this fackin looks like a god damn breadlined during the depress and with me an a mom and i meatly just go hey ay ye guises wine to go somewhere else and in someiy cargoes well is pribeing goin to be a line everywhere right so we fught stand in line for forty minutes got to the point of crouching down like a my back is killing my rback like i'm so old i can't stand for longer like twenty minutes without my lower back killing me some standin there for minutes in i'm crouching down like ya

if see agens when they have a conversation in china how they just faughk in negtive they can crouch down like that or people in india you now they crouched own like that they'd been doing at their whole lives so they had strings are all stretched out i was pcfect down like that big head turnin all red un tostand in a little bit of the shade and i i doral find ors 'l let us get the fluck out o here right so everybody agreed we'd leave wand of gon emy we stood in line for breakfast so long ass now time to get lunch so we end up going down we are on sant a monica and we go down and west harleywood and is place down thar hamburg er harries they have great fuckin nigh they got great burgers and it's one of blutd it's also one of the gayest places you'll have a go to you in your life i didn't realize how gay it was ana went there and the waiter was like really gay or whatever i really think about right so i drop off

ladies and i go over ad i park the car i get out of the en i come walkin in and of starvin an as i'm walkin in i'll son this guide pushes me in the back but gave me a nice little shove and i turn around donee a table ha ha akin gate to push me in the bag push me like don't not hard enough to make me stumble but hard enough to fuck up the gate of my walk and immediately you know felt feel as you feel when somebody fuck and pushes you in a terralic what the fuck and the guy just dan a jidio table now nos im's meetin tem over there and then he kine out a weird look on his face than he walked away i sit down an hes i cas goin i goi but has i go and i got the fuok an gig i just pushed me so i

this story an a olf i go whith the with the fugges is some gay thing it jis fuck to go round pushin people and then neagoes he was probably hitting on you right so now eagle kicks that unlike fuck i still am and shape self auntie em i fuckin twinkled told listeners out there is that how you guys hit on each other was that just like hey philly you want a able as that what he was doing whose annoying whatever was i felt embarrassed and i felt bad like like that on his face when i i went now i'm sittin over here like any thie thought that i i don't know what i was saying it out here you're queer ye know that's a whole big fockint now you got to be nice to those guys he thought to for him say ts when he was so he sit down all right immediately the dute comes over i can i take your order we foughk in order and would get food immediately the way you should when you go out

eats and now despite the fact that the and that the waiter pushed me like that du to push zhe day ochara after he scored the goald that spacically i would push me turned around looked at em like i was going to run him into the boards basically right so they fught and bring the over delicious everything's going great and then all of a sudden this fock do gets on the mike and you can't see him he's like n everybody show sorde a tim bat right and say the ago what's going on she goes evidently they're gonna have a shop spock in broad daylight oh i guess they' goin to come out and drag and they ado do a show like this this is how gay this places that they can have a brunch transvestite thy lipsink fuck show and i got tell ou it was absolutely fucking hilarious we was sitting there guy on the mike it's like a

leven thirty in the morning and he said kant on the mike he could man bitches drink up where havin a showl don't be a bunch of somethin get sorry i'm sorry just feelin a little cunty'si there with me mom and this guy start sayin cut like every other fluck in in broad light it as a comedian i had to respect the gun all right i've never said count on stage when the sun's out amagolatti i barely say non't tay to say to twen times here cause it's ridiculous but i really don't say it that much on a common club stage in this do slash half o ling is saied cunt every other word at branch adah wish should they come down like three of em the host supt right yet this giant head with his huge foqin a i don't know what

blonde wigon ande he was like doin jokes that ould have been funny but warrn't at some point said something about a bloody pussy and wi sit here eaten brunch and he makes a bloody puss joke so just as a comedian this this should have been her lairs with time he was awful say the set up and then he mumbled a punch line and he was annoying me the next one came out was all right that do look like nancy grace so that was cracking me up dare na the nhes well look like a soccer mom if if she was in battle starred alactica you don't you know when they have those sih you know get that woodstock stock degenerous haircut cut kunna had that but spiked up awisilairs and then the last one freaked me out there's always one that's gen a freak out because it's gann almost look like a fuckan chick so i

like as an plants and it's like of trying to eat my gagot to get out of her so i go up i i walked out of the restaurant cause you know it's what olse steals ye i when in rompe you went into their place he got a tolerate that it becomes this deat point we dislike artist as this is too fuck and creepy i got to get out of her you know iwalk out mstanding on the corner out in front of this place that turned into the gayest place i've ever been in and i ge tell ye i will down the street all the time in alle nobody ever tells they saw me nobody's heve see me nothin i can walkin out of this place right and this behind me is this some the transvestite that almost looks like a chick with acid plants that is i think salt and pepper push it i swear to god so i'm stinding out far on that vlace and that par this always going ah poo het

donon un a and this guy pulls up from the comedy store stopped with the red ladies like a bel i dot and i'm his like eh thegone de but det dat dit in the fuckin background and y face literally turned red with embarrassment but fortunately for ly the guy on da restaurant across the way so then he ented up comin out come it over may comin out hof fuk a fon he' said comes over to me e e goes a in ought to shoot the shick as a petona was going to go to hs restaurant and that just then fortunately nea and armab walked out and ih've never been so relieved to be like thes my girlfriend and this is mom i didn't know that there was goin to be it fuckin it was a swhen i got again the midadis i nowhat amiddate he zah

said calm you know what this i situation d then heve extatania we see if i'd get a for second hang on a second oh here we go i just hippause i brought the lovely nea and once again the lovely nea coming back to the potcest how are you sweetheart i'm great hurry i'm doing o i'm telling the story of how i just got down telling the story of how we went to that you know that unch placed the alike it was the unbelievably long bread line never then i was uching down my back was killing me so than we went down to hamburg a harry's and otice of the transvenaris o hamburger ard whatever hoquet of the gay plays in and worthily would can you forget that it's merry no there was a place in new york oh hamburger harry son i maybe that's what it was but i was just so n i was never so fucking relieved is when you and not you and your mom came out after that

for all right after you ptiiic that place is ozm it was ars without that last last that dude fuck uld freak me out that was too weird i know like transvest ites of flucking hilarieos to me especially if they are little bit angry you know him was was born with the dick if that was fuok in the underlining thing of all their comedy is fucking hilarious to me there she used to be a trainy fuckin stand up in new york whent by the ame of share needles like sharing needles ras as she was ar he wile of the fockis poses hit a he saihe it doesn't what what would why doesn't hurt you to say the pronoun that they would prefer and because i fifeel like i feel i have nih o you ihavy respectful of the fact that they want to be called she or he erdipet does itsa

knows as it fills your eye it feels folny now hes like auene de hading now a dozen impacs lite hel now i areas them awag come on give ye break wait what why what can i say howl i feel about it youre talkin over me because you're acting like it really makes you feel like all i'm i'm living alive but you may com mike iv i tarry all like o shee ra know an that he sees ke's gaze got a fuck in dick and balls it's a in ad dress s feel like you give wlook an sitney it's like you sit there with an alkey and yerackt like their not in elki oh and ye gen as melion as hut there an a naibel dan ow that's not beford him no i got a be also utter a why it just makes it just hat's a feird well five it may be it's weir for you but i don't compare people being transgendered of being alcoholas cause it's sought the same thing why at all it's a lot if guy was about the hallock an exactly he's not a know ye halley i

ever been there i considered us such the pad cats nothing ever the solfe of lucket thing is a joke tweny ways this duode used to go up there in address er kneels and would go what was absolutely focking rs for some reason stop doing it but the dude was larius you like murry hill too remember mary helen went to go sie dede vantees and murray hill was the m c ah i was so disappointed with that fook show she was hilarius pe e it's a buckn he yata vaje ye he or you know you are' notkin o wore disappointed in murray hill no she volk in hilarious hege she saved the show but the foot we go down there were whose loosely the lady who was dancing that night deed of anti is yet so this fuckin to be married to were marilyn massive yes certainly

goes eh bill you wan't come down to this show it's got to be a bur less shelwl this girl's fock an hotch he's goun to be prancin around on or undeweark love dea vonti raa like abs o fuckin ludly what great idea i would love to go to and i went down there thinking that this was goin to be sort of an upscale titty bar show and i down there in it was the gay e o was all gegeyes and those two hooshbags makin making out it was and grows to his little mutch it was fuck and growth they were straight and they woul destrain that they would straight make an electa it was falk and grotier was it was evough they was clad ah be therid myded yo say were a litter they were a gumblhere they were on their way to having facks that poices y mot be discised that it was too much yet i thought the whole thing which was a false advertising how so because you shown some ladies goin to go in there and strip down tor a fuck and hoo ha ye think ing begon an ask me gon to go gone see it shall yo desh the bulacheld

from crowd ajel id ident realize that now you know now i know the more you knew fiff so anyways's goin on yes ye'ds ot gwent hant hamburg ar marryin iter iu don't think i flucked up i should have brought you in as i told the story i i decided for some dumb reason to tell the story first bring you in during the epilogue this is like the end of like chips right now wilmis was to tell a joke and then laughing then they freeze us ha ha ha tat's placifly lots gowernon yes the unt looked said that aunt i think we're just cin to star each other huckay so we've decided that wee going to visit these other hot breakfast places that they have out here ye but we've got wickin to do it on days when people have to go to work sright i we're not going to go on wo eagens when there's a watters tin a bottle but it has tod rout just become right now

this is exactly where i come from waste ship hard cash we had to get out of this you know what what's let's do some advice here oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah bring it who is your favorite s best ihe of the show i told a lask berfor tat and on hinech with the acid plants that was follly see was high it's got uff you know something i wish that wiree you yellin because that's what i do cause i wasn't allowed to yell last week jeally way 'm futy after yell i have the curhall and haf ter sad lew shirts it is a crunch it's what i do with my my hook say ah you know o ish i wish that last fuokin ladey that you're saying dropped his fuck coochie cutters and his junctuus thout just to watch the look in your facein ourselves any m her her her i ready tid you nave a look consid

if my fucken listenerss were dusposed to be dess who supposed be a funny story about me walkin on in standing in front of basically a gay bar and that so many flucker drives by apel a go and pleas her ewinly was their second time being outed as a patron of him her mary lu to thatid the first we went there you got out on by somebody that was my worry her that's alright eh the flucking where is delicious what do you want family glazes grave with nothing more than time you have been out you know sporting every time i go there that's right every time i go there now and you will get airy lauded attood was goin soe what he doin here yet my eye a i'm here ra gettin a burgen he goes do miss neighbourhood he was thought i tried o wicking me out a haa but that lace is gray the waiters or knives an the atmosphere's play ne you know it now that i'd never been married i don't have any kids i'm still in shape amen

luckin heaven burghers and west hally when amant jesus christthat's all there but your red flags eizah tho y dear this one with you in the fuckan rum oh no ah i know this is one about a three sem oh oh yes let's talk af let's go as snithego was still a virgin all a bill younger brother and i have been having this debate about weather he took his girl friends virginia i don't wanna be a a of still a virgin i just might get ugly my brother and i have been having this debate bout whether he took his girl friend's virginity basical my brother who is now twenty has been tting the same chicks since they met in catholic high school he says his girl and is saving herself for marriage like a good catholic brother and the other hand lost his virginity before they met so get this get aload o this scays righten the lectes to twenty his

ica say instead of typical focking this chick lets my brother fuck her in the ass its read that again so get this get a load of this instead of typical fucking this chick let's my brother here in the ass and furthermore she has convinced them thatshe is still a virgin i tell my brother a for consider yourself lucky because most women will never let you do that and second this chick is not only a fucking whore but is fucking royally stupid according to her ik standards if you only have anol sex than you're still a virgin this is complete horseship said to me because i this isn't an isolated incident but rather a growing phenomenon websites are you going to sir it appear that more and more so called catholic school goody two shoe bitches have been brain washed to think that they are wholly in the eyes of the lord by

taining their virginity even though they spread their butt chaks and the are writer i had e please bill for the love of all that is holy help me can help me to vince not only my brother but all thes so old shoulder of god that even if you do like a girl in there of va gina that a girl loses her virginia for git virginia these regional when she gets back in the ah with lack of sexual education in this country icularly when it comes to like catholics and rely before you get on your soapbox do fail why wuz or yua hiel to get on myself by i just knocked you off do you feel that this woman is still a virgin no she's not a a no even though when you go to put it in ner her high men is't broken but her hyman is in place it's pasically

but now she seal hasn't been broken on the bottle but you screwed in the bottom and all the liquid is poured out here i've got now because it's like you're supposed to be this was virtually woman so yeah does create this we are complex you and then you do one of them wot this most scankiest sex act you could possibly do why is that scanky ah i i it i all sex look the lad no you listenn now you'll listen oh he says the different a sex act of a sex act they shouldn't be demonized one way or another and i take umbrage with a sky calling his gore a horr just because she having anol sex o are you a hoar because you ban girls shut the buck up i an think that's some a cleter like that gat hid wrong that's the wrong way to look at it no you natdo heywick has not a wor well he's calling her a hordes because she's having anils sad shee as a horf why took it in the age so there a lot of people others make te

aras it's a sex act yeh but it's a dirty filthy one that's your issue and people need to let that go hey got as far as hamnelt boon art with doesn't mated matter what he does he's never tae ahore he's a guy right rides listen let me all explain to you this way if ye take thy patronizing ton with me you dnon't what you are to used to word umbrage yea because i'm smart don't git you're all in irrayor i don't nowt umberge i take umbrage ah i think umbrages fact that you used umbrage and thent warned me that you can say wit that yon you see a look in my eyes the flook as thett was as meath the pres no it's make i've hear a lot of girls are ar doing that these days their having amel sacks thinking that it's not regular sais bwith all people though

taken in the ass at you'd take them in the venone so they let slips los so in li get drug a drugway o kay an a drug sense o cra i makin out that's like ye had a beer gettin felt up yo smoke the joi ond a third gont a second wheret what race of my own right now third yo third is i like you just did some blow and gettin fought no wig you're all i went all over the place i lost my trade without them dehed yet if it was ikedrugs gave space is dranking second basis wed third lay isn't holf ah and maybe shrums its rooms the home is coke and then gettin bagged in the ass is heroin with some meth that's like not comin back a right so she's skippd that's what she did she went from just sort of

drink and smoking some weed and went straight to meth it's beyond navie it's beyond you ran pass home platon you went into the dug out you kept goin pass the showers he ran right out of the fuok an i an e'm worried about his brother and the girl that he is walking why don't you worry about getting your own piece of tail he acd agrees with you he agrees with you is tis a misinformation out here ye but he is directing it towards the girls that are doing and not the people who come up with these rules to begin with eyes which is what i wanted i would swear at his anger shand should let oun own towards lano i'n standin up i'm walkin around if he's really i'm about ready to dr lalads inego

tedeal this is you arei that a knowledge you s interested in judgment in shaming peoplesif that's weala se eaches they dust never stop ah this is why this is why if a guide does it he's not a hore if a woman does it she is o kat this is first of all whyat' it's not a big deal a guy engages in that acted spasically it is because we enter you know you'rel you allow somebody to enter your body that's that's like some more than like what the fuck we do liks wy sex is not a big deal to ut told isn or before baicleone will batically like this to deal if somebody's sayt a i'll give you a thou box to go over that as sive as a birthdayket give a thousand bucks to gover there and just stick your finger in it ah you do it a second rihte yesif if somebody said i'll give you a thousand bucks to take that cake and

upyour ass ha you'd have some questions where is cake what do i get out of it egotiate for more fock money so that's the same thing that's just what we do sticking ouf fingers and kegs that stretched that's how much sex means to us eithing a wos it well i don't expect you to understand it i do know that i don't understand it isn't about my my comprehend its by you guise that's my aunt and i don't believe that's why you guise think way more about than i have sex withcause you let somebody enter your fock and body now i ain't going to sun ers the watround i'm pokin people now it's conditioning it's not like reality it's its condition ang its you you grow up with this idea that you're supposed to nough fo sir away and you know scar society i god we just brain was from dayjuan that what we do wis rows ning ther

guise guys who have had emotional moments when having sex with somebody they jus don't akabay or one in you i have had an emotional moment ye what n ya ehaha why you make it it sould like i cried herself a durn i never did ther now now he never did si what wan ae you to say that it is making shut up you went from i'm sure thire's guise out there there's no research behind thit and then you just threw that tard'd you like me to talk about my research or would that make you uncomfortable oh this is worth a pokettas wen all in ha now i got a figure out af fe a bluff ind a nut my call your hand wel you stari right at me ah if fucking painan me hair i hold him i'nfolded

ways do this to me on the pot chest it was this is the second to hill you on your bulses at theolt i was here di you ever do that again saying that nodding with your eyebrowser calling you and you posted ah the fucking eagle of females is always patting yourself on the back howth are you let me take them right naw n if you were of doed right now i' kick in the chest and wath you fall it off tat lat it but i can't do it is as what you erveright now but i can't do it because you're alway you knowht i love about yelling in this falk en apartment as i love that it bugs that old mother fucker downstairs again and i know that he calls ind whispering again i come back in brunswi i'm havein a vit known flashback im i love that he calls and complaints and i love that the landlord

sand give a fuck bcause we play we pay like ninety times with that guypac ye exactly end ef the day so that you know whe like will like a fugkin super power appear he's a thirdy old country and unce down there picking the coffee beans and were comin had taken em oln tom to go back to his fock and hunt a ha ou no and then my landlord is buying into the fact that were actually helping him to become free right ah yah ye i can't mever what i already said that on this pot cesk as i started and stopped this thing bob when he was lets let's move on lasts move on to on another one ards about three sents near o k me stop rubbing your feet together she has distinguished he just always is rubbing her feet together has called selth soothing ugh and my world is called jerki nowth oh all right high bill how are o ah an a fan out of edmonton alberta cou canada i've been up the

northlands call the greatest hock what a graves housin mis say if her you talk about it in regards to hakees edmonta o cane you got fain upher so pull louis c k and come up i guess louis was just up there some food some good beer that you know long drink some women that i feel put montreal de shape shad i like that i like the ladies k ah need some advice and if you felt like bringing in the lovely nea ladyked ah then by all means do so as a woman's thoughts would be very welcome to ar i here we got my fancy to my cy my fiance from virgin told me recently that one of her fantasies is a threesome with another lady thing is whenever i bring it up she gets squeamish about it i've come across separate women that have said they are interested in her as and i is a couple when it was time to meet my fight my fiance pretty much said she didn't want to once

was due to my fiance he three months pregnant with dars ag horn thir hay we don't judge of the potjat i would yo give it that you know you're not in derbag that's actall's really hilarious but how inappropriate would it be to have a well i'm sure people done i wonder how that would damage the kid if be otters examined to kit us the kid is in there he can hear like now taking am eh le e oh i haf ey you know why mame the killed become a pornch store that they would people read books to the warm and the kake zonnolms sunni can do calculate calculwus there you never see that you'll be a plain setable henlay comes out he's like fluckin he low as i rightn ant wait a minute babies not that oh anyway can't we just keep reading to keep reay but the little o tad poliner they can understand anything so i don't be a factor by

is that looks like a hairyet and point in laftin during her three months being pregnant when the bands an arab te labby looks like a little tea wrecks who the fuck and alien heads are at once it was due to my fiancey a being three months prigned with thour first born and the second time was because i had a crush unsaid woman white jesus christ give el a dog in the fight sir um so what gives this is a moron asky as i'm mor on on'get what's going on what's stro here and wow fond of girl girl put when she rubs one out makes nc one we're in public about other men being attractive sexually so she parted s herself as into them yet doesn't pursue or supposed fantasy and when i bring it up she seems put off about the whole thing

sha keep trying to make it happen er just throwin the towel oh yek isn't going really good though vy hey ay whe we give people help thoureing the adviced section yes she's most likely going because your methods are obviously amazing opkin e'smost most likely saying well if he didn't need it didn't need help e when you wen he and she's likely saying she's into the three way to appease me in some work twisted woman way thankfully advice go ah all right here we go ere we ko ere we are i duty am is a bunch of stuff going on here i first of all yet the i can't really say that those were attempts when you tried to have a three soon when you your fiance was three months pregnant with a baby and then secondly the fact that you're attracted

to the otheyet you not not attracted you at a crush on the other woman this there's rules to having a fuck an three om ah you know you can't you can't have feelings for the other woman and for the most part you can't climax the other one that's also a problem ah from what i've heard i've never had one ran i never heard i never had ino it twice in my life i could a had a threason when i was younger but i was too fuck and stupid to realize it was going on i dust never see that's going like why when her gir frind leave crying ha i could get laid here that another time i was working in buffalo and these girls just put it on the table they put it on table they braced he said rob we're like a coalition enever they use that word and one was hot and the other one looked like a three storied brownstone she was a fux yo like a building she was looking a flo rened as feleanalogys joy was like six three

it was i used to play for fuckin the portland trailed lazers a duckworth that's what she looked like with the vagina and i was just like you know i never hat you nowdr i never had that ability i never that ability to just bang something that i wasn't attracted to it was always disgusting to me so from what i've heard sir i am not speaking from a ya a place of the burieds here but i will tell you this if you're got to have a fuck threesome i wouldn't do it with someone who yuring a relationship with i don't think the relationship is ever the fluck same dah aduno it just its sister it's a weird thing why i think like the issue that is having with his his a wife now fiance when i jus married ecause he knocked her up ah a ho jesus a'm is she talks about be with women but is not acting on it but a lot of times you know people have these sexual fantasies and they're just meant to be fantasy

though not reallyn necessarily going to be a reality like just because you you know in your minds ir lik o that would be interestind asn't ye a she can ot go through like a lot of women has the hon bang fantasy that doesn't mean they can to go into a fuck an loading can lay down to be like who wants it right i have male listeners i have to get to the point here ah asure yefemalisnistuno im yes so that doesn't necessarily at she didn't want to do it and your methods of trying to go about at arjust so off the markets like lau all right wo in let's sail i wanted to have a threason with you i yap which i do i am i don't do on my head but i dought i don't ti do because it's gon o flock everything up you really do so yes it's goitn to be fugkd and weird sgery where it's in order as the you fluck in you cross too many you open too many pandoras box whatever the fuck and expression is ye never come back you don't come back

an i sentents like im you have to start over again he lept ayek at arona you know its slikeley e tolk about madonna madonna when they were plainlike it that 's no two to add to the gainess that barther playing madonna villios and you ware talking her gettin folkin the divorce ye v is they hurled her taste in men hungye likes those sa was usur i was saying like when she wants a husband she goes for like us that the alpha male white guy running ow i usually very like a macho strong man ru but when she has her lovers that's ones as a twenty sonthing year old lettyno boy that no one's ever ra that strike her little boy toy so hes i think this girl is sold out fuck in madaster square garden she's already done the fuck and asked her not you know they asternots to go round the fucked world they see ow beautiful it is in the may stark crying at a stop light yei it is too much is the same thing with her she see too much so there's no way she's ever gonna be able to keep a marriage going

because at any moment as as she has to sit there and be unselfish and listen to this folkan square headed white guy yes that she likes she wants to do in like to wear headed white eyes write sos the guy's gown like you not flook an give me where i kneed at any moment she could pull the rip cord still madison square garden then go bang some fuckin stud it fetish guy if i had those options ne you think id be listenin to you oh sa aavoinde i coul go in and fookt and trade your acid for some folk twenty two year old how ya ang you just start blowing me immediately for the i'd be ot here second i am right giant

anyway i ye worst she'r talking oe for yea they i'd like to say you try ant why i youghta ye why don't you let yer at bax its patty yor stop having a jerked tone to the skaya held her molisoner i was what i was gomne to say why dont you let yourthe the person that you r in the relation were with ta whenn't you let her lead the way a because now you're just becoming like bouted voice that's ga that's putting all this pressure on her doesn't let her just let her in the door to it if she wants to if not leave it alone there's no need to keep t thit is what you do this is what a that bad advice again because you don't know what you talking about yes i do know what i'm talking i donwell look e how you get advice here's the i have sell disdain and i like myself at eh i this deil al right fuck tis you want this to happen sir this is what you got to do all if you will

you listen in nia and you let her lead the way it's never going to happen o k because she's not an act on the next time you find someone who find you guys attractive as a couple do not ell you fock fiance about it all right ye tell the that's end to a listen you got a fuck and make it look natural sort cowore servantto it nat type to thing ye just make it seem like i smell ye hag gowers an ther ain't you go up to the bar and they juset make it seem like ild happen naturally and then you never tell her the fock in secret and then that's it that's how you do it because she's not going to take the leave and thi sky is all fuck in knees and elbow she was iget diana crush on the other girl what gives yeh no just the next time that there's a girl that's fugk in interested you as a couple don't tell you wife about it and then go up there and just have her fuck and strike up a conversation and just tay listen do not flirt with me tall just flirt with her and get her fock motor running and then may

go down and then what you want to do as try to start the kissing there at the bar i shall not that af rict thank you thank you see that's how you do it because it not this i'me tell you it' it's not gin happen she's ly an i ll if i get scared is nock it happin she got it you got to make it seem like its natural yes' i do it you got to get sneaky there sir that's what i just advocated fair enough for 'll get the hearth every on's the while she agrees with me what else what else is there al right you're not cann like this one near this one this was some guy talking to be sports this is the last thing in the autumn ight i get and the pot gestures e had ship e falk do a i i'm a a fuck with you little world here buddy scas rue eir how i' win tu go i'm going straight to the ship talkin then maybe i'll qualify my state with some buttering up you smug cunt love the alango all right i

not istand your fanatic phantom of professional sports yet deplore the exist of large corporations and bankers this is in oxy moron because professh sports are big corporations financed by international banks last bankers i didn't know that but they were mom and pop stores at this is gonna i've gotta go out on a limb and say this is gonna be really informative the players are just commodities that these where permissions buy and sell on the exchange oh he's your low parallel comparison there if fuckin moron this is this is that we are about this is if you just did this to piss me off this is so fuckin descending the players have no attachment to anything they go where they make the most money do they really i never noticed that all these years of watching people

go into free agency god this is fascinating a sports franchises in quote by the way that is a business term and has nothing to do with sports ar ranad berlay liscidously at this very formadif they are actually run by executives like se o ci afos et cetera did you belie had no idea they care about the financial performance of that corporation as their bonuses are directly tied to it that's horseship that's whart not if it's family run steiburners don't care about that they want a win they are wind forc obviously they want to make money seen ow you' speaking in generalization ar sbonaces are directly related to their performances on the field wise he explains to me how could you hate corporation bankards et ceteras and have a love for professionals as they are the same thing well because the new england patriots never spilled nine million gallons of oil into the fuck and gulf

mexico and then refused to fuck and clean it up without the government bailing out that's why sir that's why that's why i understand that their corporations i underst that is the business and i understand that how would i not understand how i e after this year after they went on strike and they talking about how the play union had a collective bargaiment bargaining agreement and how the owners agreed to it in two thousand six and then decided that they were getting a big enough slice of the pie so they just basically took their stadiums and went home and then jested that they play eighteen games a year rather than sixteen clearly not giving a fuck about the players reading them just like commodities i totally understand that sir but this is the thing sports i guess if you were relly going to be a the one thing that i will say but the corporations i don't like i know when they hold the town hostages say build a new stadium or were leaving i always

the city should be like yer will fock and and then every other city so say well when oc un hav build you want so now what he gin to do but that's not ging to happen i am stand sir i get at their corporations i get it a right thank you that aye is i think he's dush bag the week he relies he's comparing one world one world currency and micrardshipping people to the eh i don't know any football the vancouver connucts evidently their just is bad is chase manhattan bank great points you got any others you'd like to sh arthus went off the rails are i was gon have it overrated under a overatd owas in say college football in september you know when you watch ta nebraska play bunker hill community college yet nough and they're favored by seventy two points and actually i saw much of good game to sweep you tas state almust beat aubored right you saw that game then yo ad

yea you know something i think i discovered away to annoy nea that i have never even thought f i'v just talk about sports like this potcast is is like on life support right now why if i was going now well you know there's a lot of female comis goin stagend they think that they're doing well to ow they'll sut the fock up now am i will you lith that fluck trash everybody look as if women i can't trasth them there's plenty of funny female comics out there i just made that joke go fuck yourself you just see what would he do into the poly tis keep bringing it down what yo hum my jilly land on your back foted it in i'm not poning it ha own any mans lings as how i'm able to dusknow what you my best you know what wut he neer had just a away from me you have how enoughor you or i that's it das su jest for this week i am be athe onybone columbus ohio an it wait a minute wat's underrated ah

i did have an undrea oh under bringing a girl friendin on the flucket pot nouth that's over rate for your gan of huckenborn underrated working out you're under rated overated before yo fluck and say im i'vl git me at the funny boat columbus ohio ah friday saturday an sunday of this week thats friday september second alnow what i ae wel was todasday to fidnel september ninfh es and eleventh i men be out there i and then i'm going to be in the largo attheatre in los angeles for two shows on tuesday september thirteenth and then the final thing i got is friday saturday i'll wint to be wilper thea in boston massachusetts et that sepo kast for the sweet thank you for everybody for listening thank you guides once again for all the donations ah i'm pr working on a new bat ass website

dah i am gore to be uptaiting all kinds of vie stuff in my mi technologic

world so be looking for that the next month that is eo forty sov otsoue yoter mamoner mo er uo o and m booo oo o oo ro an lon ile on along the lam blue un in battle a u lo devauloan lan alla by a little godde or gone over a lot lan rater while an no not a lo we wo woman you hov you happy r a o anyhoh any otan om ie mitte i'l