This week’s hometowns include a badass granny and a first responder story.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This is exactly right. Welcome to my favorite murder misses the many sewed where we reject your shit, you to us. We read it aloud. You ve got us trained yeah. Let's pretending, recovers and what do you want to change up and go further? Since I was governor, I can difficult under an dear yes, let's you ok This one's got bad ass, Grannie with bad ass stories. Yeah this one is totally for you,
Oh, I am nearly sixty no time for chitchat that so true, you all are my spirit, daughters, Stephen his mind to their down. She got your right off the bat heard, Stephen just kind to say this. You can do That's me! Maybe you can visit doing its Georgia, but don't do this, gave him he's a little porcelain cat, that's right! Ah he, my grandkid many Marinos, told me. I need to tell you all a couple stories and suggested the subject line in early nineties. I joined the way I am seeing located downtown and amid western capital city. Oh she's, like matter in this house, were just tell us we ve been all. Surely I was safe to go to the agenda for work like an adult. I arrived for my first day of health and the front doors are locked, but it's definitely open. I can see healthy people inside doing health things. What the fuck.
So I began to walk round this city size black building in the pre dime clutching my coffee Mugen one hand my work clause in the other looking for a way and as an questing, a random come strolling down the sidewalk, presumably going about his random business week, mobile good mornings. It's the Midwest swear. It's only now road to say, I don't even know how to read this dissonance. Only not rude do not say good morning if it's a whole herd of city people, so you do to say good morning to everybody, but if there is one other person you have today s exactly as he passes me, he reaches back and grabbed. My fucking, astern behind right up between my leg and all the way to fucking Christmas, no war Christmas, mother fucker. I lost my shed
I swung around and started beating about the face with my mug screaming. I have your face in my head and they will kill you over and over until he turned and ran the fuck away. It's true basis, Thermos brand mug circuit. Ninety ninety super sturdy, great lids, yeah from a coherent. Then I then immediately found the. Why entrance? Of course, I roll and marched right in their jacked up like cocaine, Cathy livid. They didn't inform you that an early morning entrance thus endangering my fucking life and exposing meta, predawn perverts holiday So she basically just took her rage at being assaulted on the street and barf did Oliver everybody that worse at the? Why, yes barrier point: it's like you're gonna make people guys upside down, weird alleys, to find the entrance and not tell people you're sure the dusty. The desk did seem super concern and kept asking me if I'm sure, I'm ok
I guess I'm fucking, ok, but you people etc. You as early love, I on down to the women's locker room steam, surely rolling off of me and my wake to see multiple reflections of in the mirrors of blood spattered on my face and torso. Why that's why? The kid also concern the shocking back into myself, and I realise that the entire time and was beating on this per, I was reaching up over my head. I'm five three. He was that much bigger than me. I made him bleed and run. I was fucking delighted to realise that all the abuse from my past had consolidated into one big ball of rage. Looking for a target, how I avoid getting his, what am I work clause? I don't know it was a minor miracle, stay sexy and always carry quality. Coffee mug just call me add Grannie, p p my coffee. Magua still fall, but I did not drink that holy shit. So
when she came to be like air backdoor, isn't opener whenever she looks like carry tat essentially that, unlike probably, he look seriously at this is what happened? Yes alpha. Your next year that the oil and why I got rampage it. A grammar, as somebody claim of this, is the wrong way to tube hello. I've been listening for a few months now and of subduing everything else, so it has been nice. Thank you and I are from Dallas, Texas and people here, love to go to the dirty ass lakes and go to us now that I'm older and have a sense of health in this. We are just raise to quote rub some dirt and I realize it nothing good comes from playing in the lake. I once saw a body with a head wound wash up on shore, but that is not the story, because that is all I know about that. Wow!
Wow you could google it. I was out tubing with my dad uncles and brothers when I was twelve. They had all been drinking all day, so we figured it was time to go back in. I wanted to write the two back in, but luckily kept my life jacket on, even though we weren't going to be going very fast, my dad decided to gun it and I flew off backwards. The rope had way too much slack so like, some final destination shit, the rope wrapped around my legs waste neck and face the began to drag me under while also constricting me, and I started to lose consciousness after. Felt like nine hours but in reality was twenty seconds or so two arms left me up, and I was taken over the boat. My dad
first responders check me over quickly and was laughing the whole lesson. Natty lights make shithole area, that's what it's like! It's no big deal to them. My parents, really you could have an open bleeding where they like one moment, no matter where they do or not in any way moved by what is every other normal human being an emergency. You have to do so much more to qualify for an emergency like it has to be exposed by mere the laughing hole. Tat
here was kids got hurt. He always remain calm, so as not to figure out it's a blessing and occurs because now I do not think anything is a big enough deal like that type of. Like that time, I had a brain tumor removed. I thought I would be back up in Burundi going up. My surgery was soothed Tuesday before didn't make that anyway, I finally came to all the way and we just enjoyed the rest for a night. I went to school Monday and we were talking about what we have done that weekend. I had really gnarly marks and Roper, and so I was showing my friends next thing. I know I'm being called to the principles eyes were the school counselor Andy Social worker began questioning me about my home. I think I've someone's fuckin pay attention. Pablo God bless that staff. They thought my dad and purposefully done this and it was a giant mass at all ended up sorted and I went to being a few weeks later can't wait to see what Dallas as a stadium and went to being hang onto your fucking life Taylor. That's care, that's the thing about flying, never think about that. I'm sure parents think about constantly, which is not just you dont want your kid. You get hurt, but when you're kid gets hurt always have to assume you may have a hand in it. Like you there's so much writs, yeah yeah,
yeah, stupid shit all the time. They know what they're talking about. Mommy hurt me. I don't know. Yes, exactly are some weird combat yeah love to do stuff, like that, I loved to things, I'd heard adult saying of thinking and may may sound older and smart one. Actually, I was like busting six people at it, I'm home and no idea what you're talking about the so called fuck politeness. Great. Aloha, Karen Georgia, Stephen and furry friends, a classic. A thick right off the bat opening strong. A few months ago I had a weird runnin. I was on my way back to my old apartment after work, I'm a dancer airstrip club in Honolulu and yeah yeah, and it was the first Friday if the month I used to liberate at some Chinatown in every first Friday, all the art, galleries and bars in Chinatown I'll have events going on and in our walk. Since most people are parting in Chinatown I decided to leave work early and enjoy a bottle of wine with my boyfriend people here
protein in Chinatown, instead of going to the strict clubs, she's she's jealous of the business Chinatown getting here, I took the bus home and I know it's not the best decision, but I grew up in Honolulu. Buses are ok and likely to get. I am, would walked my department after partying toolbars closed in Chinatown, so I felt reasonably safe, especially since it was first Friday and there is more to foot traffic than usual. Also because my dancer and will change into something sexy at work. I was
wearing pajamas and looks crazy in the Congo of sweat pans and a full face of stage make yeah. There is nothing like that. The bass it's so we're the only thing that's better than that is it for some reason. This is happening you a couple times you have to your hair is curl yeah like if you have hair sprayed full hair here, make up, but then you're just wearing the dumping sweats in the world. You feel like you're, LAS Vegas, Choke Corona, that's right when I was probably five minutes away from where you still have a car pulled up the car pulled over beside me, and this is happening. But I really must cause it's so crazy. I've never even thought of this, and it was old man trying to talk to me. So I paused whenever podcast I was listening to so I could hear what he was saying. I thought he's got, as for directions, but the guy said Miss someone is following. I received, with what the fuck where and looked around the sea literally no one. He then told me that the guy was hiding in the bushes and that he can drive me wherever I'm going. Oh no, I know what
You do I look around again and I don't see any other people or near by bushes. I refuse the right and the man insisted that I was not safe. Then my inner Chinatown rat came out, and I told the man I'm no, I'm fine. I got pepper spray on me. It's I'll make each in which already had out and if the pepper spray doesn't work all club, the fucker, with my seven and shields, which I pulled out of my bag and sorted waving around like a lunatic. Yes, he then drove away, and I got home safely if we manage to my apartment with no remnants, because this type of shit doesn't happen, a man stay sexy and don't get in cars with strangers. Keller, yes, Caleb and now I am never thought of that someone's following you. Let me help you in your like get an yes because you're reacting to hear the assumption is, if they're telling you something like that, their automatically good rate, which, of course, its logical. It's like I have to just hang out for a second to, and what did you do together and what, if it is true
What if it is true, I mean that's the creepers thing of all is old man and he's hiding yeah, of course, because that's natural, that's what would happen, ok. Let's you nail data. Thank you for letting us all now! Yes, because there's you should have a thing on your person that enables you to not have to get into a great if possible covers for his great, it's always a different situation, but she that was ideal. Also, I imagine as plexiglas shoe yeah there's like specialty dancer. Shoe yes, said our dangerous are like weapon. Hooray, that's inspiring, get mouth watering sees all recipes and pre measured ingredients delivered right to your door with hello, fresh America's number one meal kid they may. Looking at home son easy and afforded
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On this subject I'll, give it away hello. Karen Georgia, Stephen Infirmary Friends, say everybody likes everyone's onboard, I'm from bigger, she'll California, where a lot of crazy shit goes down. We know a lot of angels. We are very aware of acres. We talk about bigger clo, we talk about behind its back every day. But there is one story in particular that I felt needed to be shared. It was quite a crazy story, especially since the woman involved was pretty well known in town. So one evening this doctor shows up to her on again off again boyfriends house, but he wouldn't let her in because he didn't want to see her. He leaves out the back door and stays the night elsewhere. She
attempts to break into his house first by trying to use a shovel to get into the back door, but then proceeded to break in by sliding down the chimney feet for no, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No! No! That plan didn't work out so well for her, because she got stuff and ended up dying suffocation when she didn't show up for work. The next day, her staff was like what the fuck and reported her messing. Her body was found three days when the house sitter smelled something funky coming from the fireplace fire fighters spent five hours, demolishing the chimney to get her body out, stay sexy and never try to break in your boyfriend, says by sliding down the chimney Rachel. That's gotta, be the worse, wait, a girl, so terror or woman. Why do we want to see her? I well I mean who knows who knows, All of that is like the GEO lingers story, but that also happened. Somebody in allay recently and there was the story of member of a guy. There is like
a burglar that was running in evolving as and went into the column. He has in its basically same accident version of that yeah. He fell into a column and couldn't get out and just was trapped and guide. I laudable one any of it just the worst. Please! No don't stay away, from all of these things are reason things shit, you know it. If someone doesn't want you in there how they're like no, you can't come in here. That's the end of the story from view in that how yeah I mean to try the backdoor, we ve all been crazy. You haven't heard the asker overruns. Were her now look, you can crawl under the house abusing its if it's on him he's being a deck, get any that union graduating get year wherever I bring some lime and sprinkle it over yourself and die in his girls base thy vine, cheeses, ok so called grandma kept. What in her for his earth that grandma said I greetings Emma them humans and animals. That's immigrant greetings greatest,
fan of your pack and sad, I miss joined to that's it was an egg and open sober. This isn't technically I found in the Wall story, but it was something we found my grandpa, my grandparents, freezer disgusting, sad or funny I'll. Let you guys be the judge of that ye. My grandpa recently moved into assisted living facility, so we have been going through and clearing out his house getting it ready to sell them What's going through the freezer and found a small Whitman's Chocolate Sampler Box, if it lit the boar, man sees by at least randomly rap. The video format. Whitman's has the merit- and I think that's a value above I wanted to get your Ruby necklace fur Valentines ever know. Just get me. Whitman sampler got it. It seems odd to freeze a small box, a chocolate. So out of curiosity, my mom opened the box. Spoiler learnt it wasn't chocolate. No, no, it was my grandma two dead beta fish carelessly care
like tucked into a perfectly folded kleenex. Ah, she killed them no turns out when the fish died. Nearly ten years ago, my grandma didn't have the heart to flush them, so instead she placed them in the chocolate box and put them in the freezer. I'm not sure why Chocolate Box in the freezer seem like a better burial, seem like a better idea than burial at sea, but there My grandma. She always did things a little differently, but always with the best intentions and always in the free and always, unfortunately, she passed away in twenty fourteen and I think Grandpa either forgot the fish were in their or kept them honour. Her memory owes the erstwhile that's just exactly do you and I are only lets aids that you'll get what I don't want. My memory honoured with two dead fish in a chocolate bar. That's fair and you didn't get her a gravestone, but he got her. Yes stated that you have used a barrier body, but look at these basic edge,
either way, I'm quite disturb. You know I've been eating popsicles that we're sitting amongst a couple of dead fish. We I mean that if these fish all the time, it's not your pads. It's usually I mania. A man and mallet. I think about it. I'm pretty sure my mom put them right back where she found them. So who knows where they are well, where they will end up ass s. E g m mail? that's so whoever is I was there of course the first thing I thought of those he had led thousand dollar bills. Wrapped up, as you know, the old people and squirrels away send us those emails to be a senator. We, your grandparents or as we just love them, we love them and
and the cavalcade of its surprises- that all everyone's grandparents have their wrapped up in an old lunch bag, underneath a counter like just look around and see what you can find brilliant red boxes are a treasure trove. That's right, especially if it's in a garage, I hope, like something from the kitchen. That's been put out in the garage that thing. Ok, because when I was the first house we lived in parliament, there is a kitchen set up in the garage and it was basically when my parents redid the kitchen folk. I just took out all his cabinets and put them into the garden use them in the broader, and I was out there one day fuckin around and I found a lunch bag filled with metal, dull house furniture, and I still have it day you kept there. Oh yeah, it was like real in his cool. It was like I reached up. I did. Seventeen of them are just go through every failure and I just reach appetites thought it was because it was in the garage and it was a lunch bags on oil is, I thought it was gonna, be a bag of nails and screw. You like
we're gonna shit or just a nice beggar, fried chicken that someone round I or for some krona, but instead it was this like really old and seemingly valuable, although I don't like it actually is. Try when I earlier bring you just one piece, a hundred percent on the little red chair, I love miniatures shit, I mean I don't know, I don't have a dollhouse wait. Do you know about the miniature chef that the Mai, you shot a tiny. So do you know that Laura my sister and my niece Nora were looking through the tiny chef in watching it and all the set in the tiny chef had a methane as our ends. He comments the time you shall go, follow Immanency room. He follows he says hello them to me me whenever blow me. Did you know that that's the girl his owner is the girl who made us those tiny, our last meals. That's what I said. I told my sister. I thought that she said I think
I think you know the tiny show, and I was like the only way. I know the tunny chef is, if the time You have made us our last days and then she said, but where they begin males, because the tiny shop is that's right. It's Rachel Larsson Rights, given the I was about the sheep. In the note it was like these are the only non vacant meals ass. I might yet. I feel it occurs hastened away. While the categories are huge fan. We all are the tiny. Shall I just love him? I didn't catch up. I didn't understand what was happening. Brenner, Yellow Mimi Levy is the most special okay. This is it subject! One gives this always I want read it it just Ok! So since Karen like to get to the meat of things without preamble I'll just straight into one of my favorite of my I'd stories. My dad is a retired first responder, all minor first responders, nor raises wherein themes he was not there for this event, but from the first time he told it. I've never forgotten
They had gotten and I'm on call for a body in a pool and responded only to find a d always seen the crew did whatever whispers water. What was their response to do and then helped with the retrieval process? They appear We pulled the body out of the water and in the process that compressed whenever air was left out the body stomach and lungs, and the very dead body said quick. Anatomy recap, I will say it honnami. We have quick anatomy recap: air moving past of Opel cords makes sound. The guy's dropped the body that just moaned at them back into the pool and ran for they would have no matter. I I guess I don't know they were. There are new or just hasn't happened to them. It was the first day it was all. It was six people's first. They have a right to remedy. Wine is not the first, my class they can.
Back and finish the job once they calm down and realize they weren't trapped in their own personal night of who was pleased by the cats for me and the fiercely private dogs to c p ass. The best story from working a medicine so far is the patient who came in and- That's me: they needed to see a doctor because there I, though the cooler eyeball to me they needed to see about your because their eyeball fell out. It was hollowing, they said they just pushed it back because they didn't know what else to do. I'm still not over eighty thousand, particularly terrible one. Do I did you run one as it. You have a good under you like here. Do you you're a liar legs in realising you did the eyeballs killer? I was
unexpected was in preventing you know. I was not a p s story, that's a tire emails story! That's the story! What's that those lime first responder but what a dead body sounds like light heard it you guys have a different understanding of the word light hearted. We all knew it a frenzy me and see a different. I just thought I was funny. Is this the poet else Artes both deal keeping a little Dixie? What would you do? I just didn't think it was gonna. Go thou pushed back in will now we now, you know, like dislocated That is gonna pop your eye back and you can't do that. Can you do it? there you go. Did it? Did you hear that you got
Oh accent right after that, and this is almost over and then get ready away and then, after this we're on our feed is the very first episode of the very first. It's not a fucking April fool's joke episode of Jensen in holes, the murder squad. I, the new fuckin podcast, I'm exactly right, never won its real. It's happening waited so long. It's finally happening Paul holes as honour fucking network. You guys aliens in his book, I'm listening to you right now, good Hotchkiss darkness with me, and you get Billy's book, but right now, get ready for the debut episode and go. I'm subscribe cause we're just gonna play at this first. One say everyone here is that on our feet and then go subscribe and late reveal subscribes them. They're good rating said that that Parkhurst as Well- and here they are Jensen in holes. Say sex. I would look at murder by Elvis you wanna cookie,
Transcript generated on 2020-01-03.