Uh huh. The hello and welcome to another episode. No such thing as a fish, a weekly podcast this week coming to you live from Albert the my name is dan schreiber. I am sitting here with andrew hunter, Murray, annotations sky and james Harkin, and once again we have gathered round the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days and in no protect le order here we go starting with. number one, and that is Andy. My fact is that in america you can watch televised. Microsoft exe competitions you can do a lot of things in america doesn't mean you should it's the new?

land, I'm so excited tat. This is a thing called microsoft, excel east sports, It's been on, I think, has been on a couple of years: definitely one this year. It was on E s, p n, which this bulls t v network, and it's some. It's called the XL all star battle and it was organized by a group called the financial modeling world cup and there is a slight slight Have you was organised as a part of something called the aki, which is a twenty four hour celebration of the stupidest imaginable sports? however, that included kogi racing stones, skipping and a number of other dumb stuff, but it did happen. It is a terrible thing commentators who were excel prose. They the aim. That, basically, that they had a problem setting up. This is a sporting competition because, as some of you I've noticed, microsoft, exile, not a game, it's fun, but is not a game

and so that they had to invent route ways of combating it accept. So one of the challenges was to create a yacht regatta game on exile, which included a wind speed, simulation original, directional vectors and things like yeah yeah. I think another one of the contests they call excel gulf even more serious than it already is. But I think that's all about getting to your answer in the shortest possible amount of time and that's kind of what goes about right. Make the game goodbye as quickly as possible. By doing this guy, I think it sounds on with Andy. I think it sounds really exciting. Reading about the commentators that they have commentators who watch as the excel spreadsheets are being made about bill jealous bill gently by k. I mr excel- and he is just like he's so, unlike some of the trans

is sort of them going. Oh my god, look what they're doing all my other gun for it, and then there was this one, but it goes. Oh, no, the f one key, the dreaded f, one key Similarly, the f one key brings up some help further, do you need help on your exile, and neither can I think you told us before it's a key, that's hated by. Egg cells, reggie people, they actually take it out of the keyboard. It's so hated my borders. I thought they didn't hated. It was the if you do a load of the functions, but actually, if you're really good at knowing all the shortcuts, you don't need it, so they take it off the keyboard as a kind of pride, it's like a dunno. What a good example will be taken ahead of your golf the short answer. I gotta go. I d like you to just with the stick, but you didn't get one of his says: when there are support sports do like to watch. They just say: I've won and leave it at. That is those reading about a famous excel sportsmen called dammit.

He's irish and those in interview with him and basically he got into competitive excelling. Ass. He was really popular at work ass. He was the only guy who knew how to use exile, people a lot of us here know about that? You know: go into the office, be the only one who knows how to use the spreadsheet and just people kept coming up to him, and so they asked him excel, make you popularity, said yeah, maybe popular with my peers and when people at work- and they said to you the fund mail I said yes, I do well. I got a lot of linkedin connection requests yeah. I think they're rock stars like just back to bill gentleman for a second reading about his life. He goes around the world, giving talks he's a hugely powerful. The guy within the exile world he's written citizen gordon colombia, isn't it I'm a hugely popular guy within that's what he's or is written sixty seven books on excel he's gotta, let alone

the website as well about like the cool things that he's done so that when you read it and you know excel you're like oh, my god, this guy's amazing so check out his list of his awesomeness. He helped a client in Australia, cut a forty hour a month task into a four minute process. It's pretty crazy. It was immediately fire sports, forty minutes, where the seminar attendee in trinidad to reduce a three day task to a two minute process: and then this this is randomly thrown in their once one one thousand dollars was stopping an electric fan with his tongue at a local stupid. Human tricks, competition, the one thousand dollars, one thousand dollars, that's quite a low sum of money, for an event where there's a non zero chance. You'll lose your tongue.

You might ensure your tongue before you go to the two thousand dollars win win then? If so, even if you, if you lose it, you've got three or three thousand. If you stop the phone, you get three thousand. I dunno. I haven't thought this through the fun and but you lose your tongue in the process. You need a broken. That's why it's right there could have that they could have shots and that bit the other just said which felt like about three days to just two men, and I knew I'm sure, came across the european spreadsheet risks group in your research for this, what a bunch of heroes? What are they?

if they, the the whole raison d'etre is to warn business leaders about the risks of spreadsheets okay. So they there are millions of problems which arise if a spreadsheet is bad or if this human error or anything lost revenue, fraud, systematic failures, people taking three days. I think that should take two minutes all of it and they have an annual conference to network and discuss spreadsheet risk and they have a pedro their website, which is called horror stories of give us one us one, the do cling fire you. It was a dark and stormy night It brought the rights that they can be very dangerous, those in and seriousness the dangers of spreadsheets led to austerity, which up there I mean it's probably may read about this spot imports. Remember that hope,

If the shit that we all went through about twelve years ago, graphics, graphics, picks up to like three in the timeline where things just got worse and worse and worse. That was all based on this harvest papers say the reason that George osborne and David Cameron launch austerity was because of this harvard paper that did a bunch of calculation, which showed that I think, if your debt was exceeding ninety percent of your gdp, then your economy would shrink, and so they said, okay, the economy is going to shrink. If we don't launch authority actually been done on a spreadsheet and a bunch of rows of data have been missed out, which, if they'd been included, would have shown that the economy wouldn't shrink didn't need. One There is a little old for nothing. Sorry to be a downer was the reason they did it really the spreadsheet, where they looking for an excuse and found this paper. George Osborne deleting those grows- and that was I think mentioned by this group- wasn't at that level.

talking about and another one was at my five. They had a spreadsheets of a load of phone numbers that they should bug, but unfortunately the spreadsheet cotton the last three digits and turn them two zero zero zero, and so they started bugging people. That would come, Lately the wrong number so funny incredible. They must have got them. These are not listening to the conversations about we haven't you, then I fear that means. There's gonna be a weapons drop kazakhstan zeros reserves also literally the non spy. Isn't it no Europe double zero place. I don't live worth's by less I read and then an article where they have done brick glyn, who invented the spreadsheet, apparently when he invented at people, thought the people who use night had magical powers this is why these laws- they could do these job so much

than any one else about. He said not everyone quite understood what they did. So some people thought that it was just a way of showing numbers. I didn't realize that they had to ways of doing calculations and stuff as well. So, according to this guy, some people would have the spreadsheet and then, with blue a calculated the sight of their keyboard and could do the calculation. Have you guys heard because of poor mckenna, the hypnotist yak, whereas most so poor mckenna decided who he should marry with spreadsheet. As in he wrote down the like pluses and minuses and well, he was at a time in his life when he was, he was going out with he dating a god dates with those women and He then realize I, but I think I'm looking for the right thing or you it wasn't. He wasn't finding the right person, yeah, and a friend pointed out you're not happy you're going on all these days, but already not happy with how you your romantic love is. Why did you make a spreadsheet to find out who you really love, and he did so and he found out it was a long term personal assistant,

kate who it was also in the us, and he did all his I'd say. Yeah though I know that I really did mean it sounds like he's big, Paul Mckenna applause Did he married her it it gets, and I haven't worked up you guys heard of less famous, but our real fishermen No area of fishermen are fishermen, as someone from the little mermaids doesn't already marilla area, elizabetta she's, a fish woman yeah, yeah. This is this is a brother and he has the largest collection of spreadsheet software in the world. He's been collecting it since early days. James, you look so excited by. We don't need to ask these mary he's out of me

over eight hundred individual unique bits of exile and other companies, Back in the day when we went to a wretched started, there was a boom companies. We're trying to get involved in a boeing, even started their own spreadsheet software, but they lost out to excel in microsoft and dumb, so he's got a collection of eight hundred unique pieces of software. He's been collecting it for many many years and apparently there's one kind of like the holy grail. The missing thing that has been trying to get his hands on this is a bit of an old article. Possibly he's got it now, but excel two thousand and one Matt is the one thing that he can't get his hands on. Oh, if anyone has it out there listening or in the audience here in aberdeen you're sitting on gold you're sitting on precious precious gold, wow gods and aerial fishman would like to hear from yeah. I do

in plastic the voice editor, because, obviously he lives under the waves and when ariel collects things, doesn't she as well as imagine what a boring film that would have been, that I've got spreadsheets and the work done under the sea? When I say see, I mean columns yeah stuff, a podcast, still the darkest. Every

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express vp, n dot com. Slash fish get those three extra months free and find yourself in the bahamas. Watching sandler movies. Gale weathers. with a shock. It is in time or fax number two, and that is on a night like this week, is that in nineteen sixty six, the world chicken congress happened Kiev super why Basically, nothing else about it and it's too, if weeping really pedantic, is the world poultry congress. Potato guitar there ain't. While I think, that's quite important, because in twenty nineteen, twenty four and twenty one, the well poultry congress was in turkey

yeah and involving seventeen and twenty three. It was not west france, thirty miles from the city of breast, what a shame, but the city of peking changed its name ass foolish. None of the people of china have a glance at the out from under the yoke of, but yet for the barn If you told them the reason to keep it, they might have, it does sound like a wild. It sounds really fun. It sounds like a good Well, I think so yeah yeah well they haven't, or would you rather a ten the world excel championship, so little line is in truth, I couldn't trees atomism until there are the same data be tough, but now we'll just they ve got interesting sounding papers and an sessions. So this year papers have included recent advances in ostrich farming, while yet ostriches poultry too. That's interesting. Can I just point out that the listener Andy went well. Yeah right

before any one? In the audience made any noise, I think I've had a collective intake of breath. Recent advances in duck nutrition- ok, that's weaker! That is definitely weaker and mechanisms of regulation of the sperm act resume responds in chicken role of membrane rafts, I've always wondered what their role wool sub questions of the one before you're at the conference right, but all three of those talks are happening on difference. It at the same time I'll go Austria's robbing. I think This imbalance is also charming. I just I did not understand that one. I was playing on that without yeah they in the nineteen. Sixty six one all the papers had to be presented as those they. You have to present a paper that was about two thousand five hundred words, and then you read it out to a centralized audience and they all had to be typed up in english, french, russian and german.

and you dont to type it up? You know yourself individually, and there was just a thing in the bump that they sent out, for it said, should they also have any differ? de translating the paper into russian. In case the author struggles, the organizing committee provides free of charge, but which lies at the others. You just gotta be triangle. Mothers, bigger poetry, version german chance this year. The world poultry is if it is a big deal. Combine interesting thing about poultry farming cry is that some people think that we are currently in the geological age of the chicken reason being that we eat as as a species, so many chickens and we farm so many of them, and because, when we finish with them, the bones often going to landfill they'll be left for long long periods and so in thousands and hundreds of them. this year's time they'll just fine loads and loads of chicken bones everywhere and just to show that this was some kind of chicken coop.

Several all my learning a place in the buildings that, where there were built by chicken, I guess I'll, be wiped out of history and it s just that's so exciting. All the only other conclusion you can take is that the dinosaurs weren't, the biggest thing all the time. Just people were eaten a love them

Yes, there was something bigger than as easy, as I'm sure drive up, and so I think it was the second world war. We didn't really each chicken that much of that with it was really expensive to reduce them. You would eat that this is the historic event was more to do with america, so it was about the production and how much it would cost. And- and then there was a competition run called the chicken of tomorrow and the chicken of tomorrow competition was, every farmer was invited to come and present their chicken they sent in the egg. So they can't even bring a chicken that just like sent the eggs and maybe eggs or incubator than they hatched. And then they looked after these eggs and they watch what kind of chickens were yielded and how meaty they were and how quickly they could produce eggs and so on, and they were trying to find a chicken that they could. Then mass. arm and produce so that all of america could basically each chicken is a standard meal. The chickens were eating now, a basically they are the descendants of the chickens of tomorrow. Yeah of this one company alternative today other chicken. The chickens are like this, like yet

each chickens, and if does it sounds absolutely bananas, there were forty finalists and competition and you had to submit seven hundred and twenty eggs as an individual farmer and they were yet has done, says they were raised and controlled conditions. They were offered the same thing and then, after twelve weeks the survivors were slaughtered and image. So it sounds like it was really fun. Gosh, I'm here for miss world was like that, which is weird that you mentioned beauty queens James, because as part of the celebrations, the jamboree to celebrate the offing of, however many thousands of the surviving chickens, they had dances, they had a parade, they had rodeo and they also had a chicken of tomorrow queen who was a beauty queen. You go around promoting the chicken tomorrow, our human human use good nazi Magee

name. I think that an agreed and she was talked about industry queens in the middle of the century. They were there to promote the industry where we told him out Marilyn Monroe ages ago, being the asparagus queen, yeah or not. it's green, you idiot. What do we know anything more about Nancy Magee, though I mean she might still be alive. She was about eighteen at the time she wanted, and that was nineteen. Forty eight. So I knew that she didn't have as big a chicken of tomorrow korea as the person who came after her, so it was so successful chicken of tomorrow, nineteen forty eight. I think it was that they had another one in nineteen. Fifty one and there's a huge star joan walters of arkansas was the queen of chicken of tomorrow contest nine and fifty one. She was a big celeb. Was she a while in a very small part of america yeah No, we don't went about the content is also when they sent their seven hundred and twenty eggs cause. They ought to be really carefully time cause you gotta, stop incubating them at precisely the right time

they have to be loaded onto trains. That was specifically timed to take the eggs and get them to the place where they were gonna be incorporated. The perfect moment for them to be put on the heat, so special ex special ex, madame speaking of eggs, at the way, the national, ed collection of nineteen fourteen- I don't. If you came across that night, it's pretty amazing and the I can tell you did this? The idea of this was used during the war and what you would do is you would collect some eggs and you would send them over to france for recovering soldiers or people on the front line. The aim was to get twenty thousand eggs a week over to france and in the week of the sixteenth to the twenty third of august that year they managed one million thirty thousand three hundred and eighty eggs in my brain, were they

talk so what they like pity, buffalo massive omelette. They know it's bizarre cosette was to think of the one fragile, precious thing We decided to a war zone and agonies little shell in front of us. They put the bali one massive basket. It doesnt incredibly leasing way deserves. There was this theory, the eggs with so nutritious. There were the best thing for you know our boys over in northern france, and it was with a very lots of protein and great for recovery, and children would write their names, The dresses on the eggs and sometimes soldiers who were given the eggs would right back to that children and on another egg what say sausage sort of just one a bit of paper, but by by August nineteen. Sixteen they got through When do you two million eggs in toledo, maize and there's banal footlight little messages as well as your name and address canoe, and they call them echo grams

if you're a chicken farmer, sometimes your chickens will try and overthrow you and you have to resist what street so This recently read animal farm bill. It's it's! It's is that you there's a thing of the past What is a real thing at the actual hierarchies and some cockerels and some cockerells we'll try to challenge the pecking order and stop pecking. You, the farmer and you have to? U have to methods of that point, to kind of reassert, you're dominance over the whole bound or the whole flock or whatever it is so method. One is to put on leather gloves and you just pin the aggressive rooster to the ground. Every time it comes at you, you just say no stop chill out, I'm the captain. Now you just do that and eventually it just gets the message, and it's like okay, I I I submit. You know

The other option is to kill and eat that rooster. Do you have to eat it in front of all the other chickens? And do this be a lesson to you so be? You said: there's only two ways to stop this right. So have there been situations where Neither method has been deployed and the whole farm is now being run by a chicken with some dead farmer. Yeah yeah you've seen those signs and pick your own huh. the result of the vote and that in Matthews ten dickens in an overcoat, and you know our funds, exactly five o clock, eggs, the same thing or wind eggs and got lots of names. one thing and the tiny, tiny eggs. No, the hens did this. They sometimes get laid by completely ordinary hens and is often when the just learning how to lay, I think- and I Haven'T- got it quite right- just just a bit of many egg- is like a maniac heads

incredible they get so many of them. Every year, I'd have to pump the chocolate yeah. Then they get the chocolate right inside part them out. Is it like a cough which is like? Oh god, there's an egg? I don't know what the process is, but it's not it's not the passing of wind that causes it it's just. I guess it's just called that because it's like an accidental whip, see I've lady useless egg and, although sometimes very good, for dying I'd dimension because they often without any yoke the whites. They are making them around very give him orang a tiny moran and they used to be if you you have a cock egg or a false egg. There is well, there's a myth that used to be produced by a cockatoo rest of us, mythical serpent, and that the only way to get rid of the cursor beyond you is to cause it could kill you with an evil stare is by throwing the egg. over the house and smashing it in the field next door to get rid of that egg or you can

just kill and eat the cockatoo. This can I quickly also very stupid question. I just realized- I don't know about the sack, so these are tiny, tiny eggs from a chicken that would usually have big eggs right well, normal size, normal size, eggs. So when an egg is growing inside, I always assumed that it would sort of it was the size it was always going to be and it sort of forms a shape and congeals and stuff do exist. I mean the legs and slowly like expand like a balloon know that definitely don't say. I think you need to go to next year as well. Poultry combat yeah just very quickly. Before we move on yeah on them, chicken tikka masala chicken keeps yeah. We obviously often call them these days and that invented possibly in ukraine. and possibly in russia. Possibly in france, would not really sure, I think, invented in Britain.

because the modern chicken keep like the old ones were basically botz hurry and with herbert and stuff. And if you go to russia and Ukraine, that's kind of what you get most of the time model ones with garlic, in probably invented by woman called coffee chapman in ninety. Seventy nine who was working for marks and spencer- and this was the first ever chilled ready meal. She and then said how and when she invented at the guy at mach, suspend susan charge was lightened. I dont like garlic, so no one else lights, garlic, we're not going to make them and she was like. No. No, the tell you tell you'd like garlic is the next big thing honestly can be huge and within about two is eminence how to set up a whole new factory just to make amazing ferko rocker loud applause for that women were already, but it's over. The usa has a secret stock of chicken farms which are guarded

and no one is allowed to know where they are, above all the people who work there. So this is because they make a truck them to seek again secret facilities, the exit labour, the exit cracked open and used to make any guesses, omelettes, nothing we ve all heard for over the last year pandemics. de. I would like to thank you for the principles at essen games. Each egg producers, one vaccine, they sort of inject the virus that another, the virus strain they're, looking for into an egg and the incubator for a few days, and then they harvest the viruses do and then they, if the virus, and then they use that to make a vaccine and the? U s. Government get through one hundred million eggs every year at the farms that lay them a secret you're, not allowed to know that kind of national security wow egg farms. What then happens with that egg? Sorry, it's done finished is not used not coax. It has been used in a very serious and complicated I wonder if you go to secretly vaccinate a whole country about just giving them eggs

Ah there's your damn brown novel. I gotta do need to move us answer next backed. It is time for fact number three, and that is James. Ok, my foot week is that in the eighteenth century a worcestershire man called John talus stayed in bed for thirty years, with a peg on his nose because he thought fresh I was dangerous world like a strange guy. He is rather, this was and a review of a book called the georgians by penelope, J copperfield, and this was what's in a magazine called gentleman's magazine, and they would talk about this guy who lived in a place called the curtain, so we hope- and throughout this whole time He didn't see. Anyone basically had hardly any visitors basis.

The only people ever saw his servants, who would change, is bad once a year is that I'm not sure they would change the bedsheets was it. You know these are largely the whole bed. I believe it was the whole bad. That's quite good. It was a mixture, so occasionally they would change the sheets if they change the chief, he would roll on one side of the bad guy down. Do it and then he would roll back onto the other they underline slip it unlike like on those table tricks, legal hula. Nothing leaves right and then the other thing was They were changing the full bad, they would wheel in another bed and he would sort of tumble into the into the new bad and then they would. The old did what they making the coal based on how disgusting the bed was. Was it the like we're on the first of january? We have come round and let us see if you just need to change your sheets or if it's a full knew better. You need again was it that probably once a year for the full bed and then incremental,

that's right, so you can estimate how gross it is going to be without fully checking after twenty years. I imagine you'll have some data to if you've got a spreadsheet exactly so. Why did he refuse to get out of bed the fresh air thing? Fine? He doesn't want to go outside, but I just like stand up the sheets off cause. I guess so yeah, but well, I'm in bed. For while it's hard to get out of bed, isn't there not been the he didn't want his light. He didn't want any fresher in the room, so we had like just one window in the room with glass, which was three times thicker than any of the glass. You could get that time. I think just three pains and his head was covered in more than one hundred yards of flannel, one hundred yards minute. Like a mummy likeness said, it was as large is a large beehive rightly so, because aids conference with no other heatedly throat, we wouldn't be set at two hundred, exactly ass, a bee who put his head. I know why he was in bed why he was caused by a woman,

tat. He was you ve made it it's actually being he went about so he caught her stealing part of his fencing and he ordered her. To put it down is I'd, put those sticks down, and she said, a curse on you and she condemned. Him to remain cold and two never feel the warmth of a fire and that's what happened because he made it happen. so. Did he saying he thought? That's why he was in this situation? Will that's the story? I mean there's a lot of there's a lot of story in this. they even have a story that sorry, that's my historians to why he was in bed. He wasn't like I've been caused by this, but also that we are in the area you're saying you believe it absolutely ok. I guess if, if you believe in occurs than you have been exactly it's all psychological if you read them and explains what was confusing me, which was what was his explanation for the fact that everyone else wasn't dropping dead, who was in the outside world, but was it just him who is going to?

yeah. It's very rarely. I cuss you out by the way everyone does it take this thing out of the curse of as a universal thing, because James because fresh air was dangerous, which it was but not universally right. It's like if you're allergic to prawns, problems a dangerous bus tray that makes sense well, he must have seen it. people could go ass. I d get him new bed, so dangerous for everybody. Unless this happens, we're coming in and going is still there jumping doubt, and I like it was a rule that they weren't allowed to mention what was going on. They couldn't bring up the whole, like you wonder, just come out now. You know they just they just sort of, let it happen. No one could have into and he was announced, was suffering from what we call hypochondria now, but except there was a curse yeah, that's probably how he would rationalized, as I become drew the time now I can come out of it.

Sorry, I really was yet. You obviously never been lying about supposedly as well like james you're faxing. They get a peg on his nose yom and in there's a few other accounts where he would put a cork up each nostril who decides fun, I may not every sneeze they just went great guy great college on tell us find because thing just now, just committing to work paris kind of a lot of us actually lives that don't get talked about. You know in a hundred years from now, don't tell us where we are in aberdeen onstage talking about a guy talking. It takes, As knows rolled over as being too high, one is large behind european area

about a woman from thomson. This was supposedly it written in the british medical journal. I couldn't find it may be. I'm Jaber it's written in lots of newspaper reports where they say it was in the b, I'm J anyway, her doktor pizza row in ninety. Seventy eight said that she stayed in bed for forty years because doktor once told has had not get up until he came back and he never know Was the dogs on his death bed some years later, and it is these last words in went park, but we all know that feeling where you commit just a bit too long, and then you say I can't quit now and it just kinda gets a bit ridiculous. Instead of my career yeah speaking of

bed for a very long time yeah. This is a different kind of lying in bed for a very long time lying on a bed of nails. Oh very good, yeah. So the records are quite interesting. The the female record for lying on a bed of nails is thirty hours. Okay by a woman called miranda queen of the fuck is, we need, while nominative determinism fakir, yeah come on grow up. My counter at the far eastern mystic is a fakir. You know ear Are you all right so anyway, miranda queen of the fuck is: has the It also sorry to telling you I really am so anyway. Femur record miranda queen is the fuck. Is male record help our man called? Can owen and its system.

Can now, but his record three hundred hours, Why would thirty and it was broken and nineteen? Eighty six I mean. Doesn't that just tell you, women have things to do well, no, don't know because not able to be fed him can was on holiday, and this was the nineteen eighty six and is but take it all of the lounges, so it's written is resolved against what website. But it's not it's only a newspapers that from the time and he was- traveled across wales, on a fortnight's holiday and wherever he went, he would lie down for ten hours at a time, but it wasn't consecutive that is chasing year may be. Will he also he did other things while he was doing it yeah? I think it was maybe a martial arts guy. He had twenty six concrete blocks piled on his chest and then smashed by his friends. It was while he was lying on the nails here. Mr, do that

in time, yeah it was yeah and he said the good news was the longer. You lie on the bed of nails, the more the nails gradually rust due to your sweat, so what good he's a book by the time. I finish my bed should, in theory, feelers flatters. This new could table. There is just a very long unaware filing down your nails, the, although you don't want fathers kind of of course, The present new has been asleep for the longest amount of time, according to the newspapers at the time was someone who is hypnotized. So I think asleep on the hypnosis, but I was hypnotized by hypnotists: go peter power you must have repeated power, think he was a deal

in the eighties and nineties. He hypnotized a man in a liverpool shop window. I don't know if the man asked for it or if he was just looking for, was still asleep. He doesn't seem to have a head yeah. Someone keeps them up with the latest fashion as if he floated out thirty wide open he's. Vigo gee know he slept apparently for eight continuous days that he was woken every few today the learned, drink water

it's okay, he was woken but was still in a hypnotic state. So apparently it counts, but parent pizza powers recorded a tape of himself that he gave to the medical team who are monitoring this bloke all the time, and that was if saying like. If Peter powers got killed in a mysterious accident, then they were to turn on this tape of him and it would get him out of his hypnotic state because otherwise he'd be asleep forever but sensible, and it's good health and safety constable hypnotism yeah. Absolutely get on him. The country of Montenegro has a lying down champion an annual championship and lying down yet to be televised on E s, p. N big mistake. I did I'd never heard this before. Supposedly there was a widespread national stereotype, internal stereotype, of laziness in montenegro. Instead, people would just like people are very relaxed. They'd, like the you know and they'd like to take it easy, and this is when a one after sixty hours said I didn't even warm up and- and it's you know,

lots of foreigners have entered over. The years has been going on only montenegro of one, I found an old montenegro joke if you'd like to hear it I'd love to, because I got two months and I go quite a lot that what this is a country that has a veto Steven Spielberg, so they didn't around about he's been roundabout. Students works, you in the movie, a montenegro, and he invites a load of locals to audition to be extras right, Annie highest to montenegro guys, and he explains to them that task. This movie is just a lie under a tree, it's only after the launder a tree and they work they work for two days, while they're shooting the scene around them. I wonder what movie? I don't like it would probably be yet, but on the third day, Spielberg tells them that for the new siena shooting they have to move to another. Three and one of the guys replies Mr Spielberg we're actors, not stuntman, I've got a most job yeah. I like we're, going to move on and assigned by the way unless, unless you work out well, maybe that's from

I've got one more kind of saw eccentric person from the eighteenth century. Uptight over a year at a guy called henry cope, and he was known as the green man of brighton because he always dressed in green pantaloons, with green waistcoats, green frock green crop that he died, his hair, green and his whiskers and his eyebrows green. He would always eat nothing but green food, green fruits and green vegetables. He had his apartment painted green, In the end, it furnished with a green self, a green has green table, a green bed and green curtains. He always walk around with a green silk handkerchief and had green buttons on his coat and then he walked around also with a green poodle, I'm waiting to say his shoes,

I always read. Yeah, there's no there's no line there. I guess, apart from maybe like eiffel, sixty five or colorblind that they were writing this guy. I dunno, but apparently he lost his wits over love for a beautiful woman and decided to wear green forever right that'll get her back As a woman trust me every time he passes the one I let go meanwhile, she's, looking out of her window as a field, don't see a button that doesn't realize he's pissing, if only he comes,

Amy once Larry Donovan, stop that prague sigh everyone just went to. Let you know responded this week by hello, fresh, that's right! Do you, like big boxes of food, being delivered right to your front door, telling you exactly what's inside them? How much of it is in their how long to cook it? For so that you could absolutely smash l a killer mail in the space of no time at all, as that eleven to the advert done yeah. In many ways it is the heart of this advice, because we, as of this week, as you say by hello, fresh, the incredible company that brings you all, the most delicious produce, as well as incredible recipes that you may never have tried before and turn you into one of the great shifts of your home. It show

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Oh, I remember the show. Okay, it is time for our final fact that the show- and that is my fact my fact this week- is that, according to cameroonian folk law, the best way to beat a chimpanzee in a fight is to pretend to stab yourself with your weapon and then throw it at them. The chimpanzee will then imitate what you did and fatally stab itself the fight, over. This is, as I say, this is. This is folklore. I found this in an academic book called primates of gas shaka, and it was edited by someone. I've worked within the past, so has James a james, a primatologist called vulcan

so am I, and the idea is that the mimic, the mimicry abilities of the chimpanzee, is such that they will think that that's part of how the processes of chucking these things back. So they were finding that when they were throwing these spears at chimpanzees, which was their chosen weapon to to kill them, they would imitate it and pick it back, and people could get hurt, so the hunter would be hunted by the spear being thrown back. So they introduced this idea. What if we pretended to stab ourselves and that hence is what happened with the chimpanzees for me- it didn't they didn't. actually do what what's folklore. So it's sort of like its told us if it did happen, but I don't think there's any early days. That is usually honestly say that they are good linux and so late payment he people actually exactly yeah summer. We up ever mention him before he willingly homes. Correct me. If I'm wrong somewhere enough memory by, I think

The main thing was they wanted to know how many ants some aches were eating and they didn't know how many they been eating, but the only bit of evidence they had was looking through the feces and seeing how many like bits of the Y by, but that doesn't really tell you how much has kind of been absorbed into the body, and so he got this research students to eat a load of patents on that save the poo, and then they all had to check through all of their posts, to see how many bits of ants came out, because we have a similar digestive system to the apes and that would be able to Alice. How many ants were eaten by dog, so it was yeah, so you'd eat the and it would just be the head, and it was roughly for every tenant's one and head would come out is what he found, and it was a cultural thing. You know was like the group that identify by this one thing

now that we're neighbors wasn't real cultural markets, a cultural marnoo, exactly gap, different nice guys, chimpanzees. Most of the time yes you're, giving me a funny, look as they also to have quite high murder rate, but I think I think the murder rate is the same as tijuana in like central drug wars in mexico, which I know doesn't reflect very well on them. They are the only other species aside from humans who said a plot to kill each other, but they generally avoid it. and they are really good in other ways, so, for instance, they much fairer than human beings not like snow white, the first of them all like they have inequity aversion, I hate unfairness. So there were various studies that have been done with. Other monkeys were like. If you give one monkey a grape and then you give another monkey a bit of luscious, then the monkey with the lettuce if it stops eating it ready soon, because that too jealous of the guy with the great even

If they hadn't seen the blade with the grape, they would have eaten the left very happily to the amazon, monkeys and other animals. Cause they've got a real sense of fairness like we have so and unfair. How come he gets a great but chimps. Do it on behalf of each other, so they've been experiments where, if you give one chimp a grape, but you don't give a friend grape, then she won't eat. great until I mates been given one the? Yes, we have really it was. It was so controversy has more a ring. If you gave me Diana grape. If you give me a great, but no, then there would be no greater regulators the grape and hope that I have noticed that given a great your less evoke desire, but as they are, like that was the friends' divorces them more fair than us, certainly the new thirty and all of us, and as he was saying when this was so controversial issues coming out the idea in the late twentieth century that we know these human trait such existed in chimps as well, and for

isabel said that when they came up with the conclusion that ships have this innate sense of fairness, a philosopher wrote him saying is completely impossible that any animal has a sense of fairness, because fennis was invented, the french revolution, that is our friends vows. He was like he's one of the main rises on chimps and bonobos yeah right, and I read some of his writings on on both for those things, and he was writing about zoo keeper who'd, what with chimpanzees and then he started working with bonobo if some banal boasts. I don't know if he knows, I think they're our closest relatives right. They are very sexual animals and they are very touchy feely. that kind of stuff, this keeper had only work with chimps before, and so he went up to these bonobo for the first time and went to give him a little kiss but elbows stuck his tongue down his throat.

And it turns out they prince kiss bonobos are really the virtuous humans, while generally each other, but yeah close enough wow unfussy, what a good fact so good that was also controversial because people again friends of always saying when the whole thing was invented by the french during the french revolution. That's why we call it the french kiss. Yes, there was this big thing came out that bonobos are just rampantly shocking. All the time like, regardless of and practically species and friends of all wanted to publish a big coffee table book on it and it wouldn't get published by national geographic in america. I think this isn't the seventies or the eighties, because basically it was too rude and they said this is too raunchy and so

He had to go to germany to get at public office. They said please and very shocking bonobos on the front cover. So as part of this research. This fact I was googling. Chimpanzees expense checks out, but I googled chimpanzees and it quickly comes up with, and people also ask on. Google when been searching for anything any any unusual or anything like that. Show you what it was like a chimpanzee rituals. Whatever our central anyway, The main like that this presented at a camel dress. I had them anything today, This suggested from Google one of the main questions, the google on chimpanzees people also ask what happens if human sperm gets in a chimpanzee gets in yes, sorry, you know when you let me your computer does will genuinely up. So I was very,

jokes that came up what's the big question is: can we is? Is it possible to have a hybrid species between a lot of people? though, is that so big. I was now we might probably mention him before I to solve through a hybrid between my human see, it's called well. I think We have solved the mystery of why you can do some things you gotta learning into done. What was the answer, I click you, the as humanity itself off a reason. I don't like humans, he you don't like it covers chump, the hum of human, the czech german. That's the idea I actually think that out but he's, but they make they make nests. This is the thing that should be more spoken about.

Their nests every night here, birds, weakness. I gotta give any other animals the vagueness about birds, that's what I thought is that's how we gonna pubic lice is through is through sleeping in the nests of guerrillas in feminine loss is sorry, wasps make nests, was making graver. A great someone said please Then the hive MR make nests someone from the awesome solitary base year. yeah yeah. Actually, the vast majority of these are solitary right, the vast majority of bees, wasps birds and chimpanzees. It's still interesting, but they said this is the interesting thing. The beds are extremely clean and they also reuse them. This is amazing, as they travel, because they often move they make new beds every night. They will reuse their beds within six months and they will leave the foundations in place to build on when they return. It's not peanut lifestyle,

we get no, because they also pooh in their beds, which is part of the reason that they made around so they use toilets. So why would you sleep in your toilet after you, ve used as they migrate, every day very slow learners. Does. Every morning I put in my bed to get the servants to we lit a new one year ago, but yet and then so so early human early man, I don't even know, if necessarily it was the point where we were necessarily homo sapiens. It was protect man. Let's say we see these empty nests and go great. I've got a bed for the night, so we would sorta be walking behind the chimps and gorillas to to find bedding for the evening and

little bits of pubic lie so be hanging around in there and that's where we catch them from were so. That's right, you, google, how do people get a few bit ly has greatly sterling purports to be a little bit of spot. They get here. Yeah. if Aberdeen, how many people think they could beat a chimpanzee in a fight as the stereotypes of scotland is not what I thought carbon we're getting married tomorrow. I think it will tell them. You said that there was I have a study that we've actually mentioned once or twice, and they found that thirty eight percent of men thought that they could beat chimpanzee and a thirty eight

but there was some studies done in the nineteen twenties about how strong chimpanzees are and they found one chimpanzee called suzette. Who could do a one hundred poll of one thousand two hundred and sixty pounds, wow? Okay, It was during the fits of passion, so it wasn't normally how she would do it, but they they kind of they gave them things to pollinate at that now. There is a very recent study from this year that has looked to all those old ones are reckon that they were properly exaggerated and actually chimpanzees. As strong as we think, they're actually much closer to humans and they reckon that that the average chimpanzee has a differential about one point. Five times times the average human eye. So if you actually plot those graphs of light, the stronger humans and the weak chimpanzees, actually it's not much is like in the twenty percent or twenty or thirty percent, so

thirty, eight percent of men saying that could actually be right, really does incredible. While but chimpanzees will the soldiers really rare off, then they don't fight nice I'd I'd think even if I was the chimpanzee, which I'm definitely nothing I am I I would be willing to go for go for the year of well, that's true! I suppose they might fight in a different way than would you you're trying to compete is complaining to the umpire constantly thing I want to take the california. We, like the rental. Very rules are not big of weak enough to wrap up innocent guys did you know that chimps drink responsibly, who yeah they do drink, but never to excess, mostly tips

this was they found this out in guinea because humans harvest us we harvest and ferment stuff from trees, and they were harvesting sugary sat from a upon than from it and they found that when they allowed it to foment, they leave it and little cups jammed into the tree. Then choose would come and they'd fold up leaves and they dip them and use them as sponges, and then they drink it. But in that drinking sessions they would dip about nine times, which would amount to a beer of about three point one. San alcohol, stop and then I've had enough. That's it home from the public. it means they can drive back, doesn't like amazon region about a chimp from aberdeen. Oh, you guys know Hazel had park, they sure do. That means. At least I got the right of a deed I don't know where this would have got in this

these insolvencies you had a zoo in hazel. Had part is not there anymore, they had a chip called humphrey mother, were building these zoo. Humphrey lived with. One of the owners are one of the people whose who was kind of paying for it. They catch him and the nappy so that he didn't put everywhere and then one day they went out and they kept him in like a cage, a large cage, but they catch them in a cage and he managed to break out the cage and they found him. He broken into the ladder, found them in an easy chair with a lump of cake in one hand and a chocolate, biscuits, ITALY That said, that is all about back. Thank you so much for listening. If you would like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we have said over the courses podcast, we can be found on our twitter accounts. I'm on

At schreiber land Andy at under hunter m James, James Harkin and anna, you can email, polka, dot. Huh, I don't come yep. You can go to a group account which is aunt no such thing or a website. No such thing as a fish dot com. All the previous episodes are up. There check them out. All of our previous episodes are uploaded. I just say that I still wanted to just type the same thing. He's glitching together on there's, also a link to our new membership club club fish very exciting. It's a land that has no adverts. It's very, very cool check. It out, as well as extra shows that we've been putting up there behind the scenes stuff, so just had to no such thing as a fish dot com. For that outside of that, just want to quickly say thank you

it's so much aberdeen that was so much fun. We will be back again for everyone listening at home. Thank you. So much we'll be back again next week with another third will see it on the.