Today, I’m going to share with you my first ever public interview with my friend Tom Bilyeu of the Impact Theory podcast. It is one of my favorite conversations because we talk about the power self awareness has in influencing your relationships with others especially with the people close to you and at work.
I also talk about breaking free from the norm, from what society expects from us, and from the limits we have set for ourselves. Once we become self aware, we can then start asking questions that need honest answers and we can often get these answers from people we look up to and from our experiences. And as the level of self awareness increases, we make better decisions and eventually, enjoy positive results.
If you want to pre-order the book, 8 Rules of Love, go to https://8rulesoflove.com/
Key Takeaways:
- 00:00:00 Intro
- 00:04:54 How did you find your fourth option?
- 00:13:07 We live in echo chambers
- 00:16:50 What is power?
- 00:20:14 What’s the best part of being a monk?
- 00:23:45 What is an ideal life?
- 00:26:51 Start your day with gratitude
- 00:32:49 Self awareness
- 00:40:47 Questions to ask yourself
- 00:44:46 Three questions you are often asked
- 00:49:31 The three E’s of life
- 00:51:52 Making wisdom go viral
Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!
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Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty
https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Everyone. I've got some big, big, big, exciting news. My new book, eight rules
love how to find it. Keep it
and let it go is available.
Pre order right now and if you had over two eight rules of love dot com, you can be the first to pre or
for when it releases next year. I want to thank you
over the amazing support I received for things like a monk over the last.
Two years, I've been pouring my heart my mind, all my energy and intention in this book, and I call on you to read it
inside this book I talk about everything from break comes to conflict to dating on two figuring out whether someone's, because
you what the red flags are to look out for. I really believe this book,
be a game changer for so many I know so. Many of you can ask me questions about love and relationships and dating
and I put all my insides inside this book. We ve
You got something really exciting for all of you. If you priority today, you ll be the first to get early access to my today's debts.
next year. I'm gonna be doing won't tour. I can't wait to visit your city and, if you please
you ll be the first to find out so head over to it
was of love, dot, com priore, your coffee.
Thank you so much for your support in advance, conway view to read it, and I am so grateful.
reintroducing the ice apple, crisp open up marquis from starbucks now with starbucks blonde espresso and oatmeal laird, with flavors of apple cinnamon and brown sugar and talked with the spice apple drizzle. Welcome back fall order today
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engro. Now I
sometimes get a luminous thou jake. I get a little reflective and introspective
and I wanted to share with you. I believe it's the first ever podcast public interview I ever did and
I always like to remind myself not only where I started
but why I'm doing what I'm doing
intention that got me to where I am and
listening to this episode,
I really feel so connected to that purpose. I think
This is one of my favor.
Interviews. I ever did in my
Tom believe, I think the questions you asshole
powerful, and I hope that you get to you
answers in here. That's
or your journey to find a european
in defining your purpose. Tat,
meaningful relationships, so I call my feet
since this one share it absorbing
thank you so much
often the advice I give to people today
fast forward where you are look at yourself in ten fifteen twenty years time and ask yourself the question:
is that, where I want to be in
this is no, then you need to find a new path to just.
get to understand yourself. You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are the welcome to impact theory. You are here, my friends, because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless, but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. So our goal
they show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. Today's
As a former monk, his wisdom has truly
on viral. After finishing business school, he turned down lucrative offers from prestigious companies. Shaved his head and hit the road
for three years he travelled across india, europe in england, living as a monk studying
they and building food and shelter programmes for those in need. He was deadly and
with what he was doing, but he knew that it didn't scale so
driven by a desire to share when he was learning with as many people as possible. He reengaged with the world and our heads
first in the learning about the tools and techniques that might allow knowledge to spread as fast as entertainment and to that end
he joined accenture, helping them build their digital division. While learning about the forces shaping the new digital landscape, he learned fast
quickly became their number one social media influence or in a company of four hundred thousand people along the
and he also helped advise over one hundred and fifty executives on their personal brands, allowing him a very broad base with which to test his theories and leveraging what he learned in two thousand and sixteen he launched his own facebook page and it exploded
did in less than twelve months his inspiring entered
and highly useful videos garnered over one billion.
Views, and now he has north of two point: five million followers. Globally he makes content
only for his own pages, but for places like the huffington post, and he is interview
such luminaries is tim ferris, Simon cynic doctor should folly deep october and countless others in the wake of
ridiculous level of success as both a content, creator and digital strategist, he was named to forbes
the under thirty less than twenty seventeen, the asian
media awards named his blog best blog and twenty sixteen, and he was added to national geographic chasing genius council, for which he is,
helping to soar solutions to some of the world's greatest challenges. So please help me and well
I, the urban monk himself, the man who is proving
that you really can scale impact j chevy
they have a really good, true we're on a man, and he goes both way it so, as I was hell, knew before.
Started rolling in my recent.
It's like. I normally just go, watch all the interviews that people have done and I've come across you like a million times in researching other people, so I thought oh this'll, be the easiest thing ever like this. Guy would have been interviewed one hundred times and you haven't like it
saying to me, like you pumping out so much content nobody's now you up yet so,
This can be really fun. To really go deep at your ideas are cool.
really very well thought through. So this should be a lot of fun.
Thank you. Man, yeah, I'm patient safety,
having the right entity is the right time thing with the right people having to be
incorrectly. Some very honoured to be outraged finally show thank you. Thank you so much for having absolutely so
I want to talk about, obviously having lived in london,
A little bit about what it's like to grow up is an indian kid in england,
How on earth did you buck? The trend of you once said:
growing up in in an indian household you're, either a doctor or lawyer, or a failure, failure yet russia,
like how do not fall prey to the there? Doesn't my three option: that was it. There was no philip options. According to my pay
family or their community. I grew up in I'm a failure, and how did I back the trend?
I was really really fortunate
very early on and I started to experiment with what matters to me
Sometimes I get a lot of trouble
people, don't know about me, is that I was suspended from school three times for trying out all sorts of things like things
would never imagine. If someone who goes on to be a monk I was
spare inventing with all the drugs in the wild eyed multiple relationships? I was really trying
the search for some sort of meaning fulfilment
As far as long as I've known I've been chasing thrill
a value thrill and feeling
Why did I not see they're coming yeah? No, not many people do it's, it's very different from fourteen to eighteen. I was like this kid. You just wanted to
try new things out and my parents rhetoric,
would always be, will make sure you get good grades and I used to think what, if
can be bad anger, good grades and then it's all works, ravens happy. So that's
It's kind of what I did and
eighteen hours, really fortunate. When I met a monk and this monk was invited to speak- and I kind of just one, because when my friends forced me to
item has listened to see, owes and entrepreneurs and business people and
It is you who I thought
That's what I was aspiring to be like, and then I have this monk.
He captivated me like no one had ever captivated me before it was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet. You, I was completely fixated on him and his message
and that is the beginning, with I'm going to too much detail before we plug that.
the beginning of what changed me because
I went from being someone who did only one all those things to become successful and trying to. But I
started hearing my own in a voice, much more
all that noise that I had around me
I remember one of my parents had amassed here for me because they wanted me amazing mass and I was,
pretty good and numbers and I'd have this tita. He tell me that the goes the reason they
struggling with the next question
is because you're always worried about your parents. Think
and that really stayed in my head, I just like, whilst as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think, I can actually never find the
answers to the real questions of life.
And there are all these little things happening. I lost two great friends when I was sixteen one girl died in a car accident. One guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence that that made me rethink everything. I just thought to myself: wait a minute these were beautiful.
People, people that I loved people, that in mind
what good people and I just lost them in a moment-
kind of like this collation of little things that you made me think wait a minute having money having fame this, that
cotton, just doesn't seem to add up,
and then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible
and, as I said, he used completely captivating and then I found out that he'd given up jobs in google and microsoft. To be a monk I thought to myself, who does that?
he's given up everything that I'm chasing and are almost
The chasing
but he seems happy if anyone I've ever met before and he spoke
This incredible principle way said that we should plant trees on
in whose shade we do not plan to sit, and he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice and that kind of just
me right there when he said the words selfless sacrifice
for the first time in my life I felt a thrill about something that had never felt before, while giving up everything you have for the service of others sounds like
best thing you could possibly do and they don't why. I had that thought because I wasn't a spiritual kid
up? I wasn't a religious kid growing up. I was even a good kid growing up
just a rebel hemisphere trying things out an experimental which I still consider myself,
So when I started to do those interning at company
he's in firms incorporates thinking. I was getting a great job afterwards and then spend the rest
my summer holidays in turning in india living with him as a monk
I use my summer and christmas holidays to these be out there with the monks and change
to another two hundred to five hundred monks. That would just like him just justice, smart, just as bright
giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better place.
I want to go back and so
So why that resonate with you is really surprising so and maybe you're just you know so far
ahead of where I was at the time, but that would have sounded absurd to me at that time. Yeah. What did you already have a sense of unease that, like I'm a rebel without a cause or like what was
at that moment, any use. You seem very aware of yourself, so I'm hoping that someone that awareness is present then like what was that moment.
I believe the moment was I was I've, always had friends who are older than me,
and I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers, successful jobs, beautiful part
whatever it was, but I saw a sense of lack of
ferment, meaning and purpose in their lives
and I ve always been an observer, and I would see these people are like five years older than me seven.
so let me maybe ten years older than me and everyone
the is that the life I want and often the advice I give to people today's far.
Forward where you are look at yourself in ten fifteen,
twenty years time and ask yourself, the question: is
where I want to be. If you want to come
you look at the person is twenty years ahead of you and ask yourself is that where I want to be, if you're in a start up, look at where other startups,
two in similar rolled and go is that where I want to be
if the answer is no, then you need to find a new path
me. The answer that time from observing was no the path that my parents or society
he or the university I went to or the community I had that was carving out for me, it didn't feel like the path for me, so I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path.
I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting powerful, but as a
to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road because that can be impossible to.
Walk me through the first. I'm you step off the plane in india, summer and son, I'm living there on waking up, I'm almost doing all the practices, just as if you are shadowing, see I'm just shadowing a monk
and so I'm just shadowing his lifestyle. So we wake up he's like what are the most elite month. So, where waking up
two, a m every day of the sleeping like nine or ten p m, and then we study these ancient wages, which have five thousand plus years old together, and we spend two hours, I'm starting with the best of the best here so
he can like analyze and assimilate, and I'm learning fast taking notes them for you.
we gotta collective meditation, we do those practices with the other monks, his well six, a m. We have
personal meditation. So I'm literally going through the life of a monk
And falling in love with it step by step going well. I've never had this experience before that. I just drew myself in an hour practising it to the top.
right. It wasn't like. Oh no, my back hurts when I sit on the floor icons to have for too long or you know today.
if people are like. Oh, I can meditate for longer than two minutes. I was like no I'm going to do it for two hours
they're doing I'm gonna, give it a go, because I can only test. The hypotheses will only be true if the experiment is carry
now to the degree that data so save the hypothesis is. If you live like
you are happy more fulfilled, then I want to do that. I so let's
Lord, this, then, through the lens of creating one's own perfect life, yes, which is pretty interesting, a spy,
So he became an interesting me
I think this is so accurate to the way the most people are. It's not like there's some grand missing thing in my life, but you took that first action so codified its form
are or for anybody that once they don't know what their ideal life looks like they just now,
that they're not living it yet so step number one is take it seriously to find out if their hypothesis is true or not, you have to take the the the experiment you have to do it sincerely
after that. I think even one step before that is is opening yourself up
a new role models and new experiences see we live in echo chambers,
we just signed by the same thinking. How often you bump into a monk
this. Doesn't happen, you don't have no one is it
in the party and goes oh yeah, ridges invited the monk from the town led the local monk like no one ever does that, and so you we meet people who are just like us most of the time
and we talk about this in business wallet. If you want to be a billionaire spend time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire spent on a millionaires, if you want to be a tech startup spend time with you know, that's that's the column
rhetoric that we hear all the time. But what? If you want to find purpose and master the mind,
there's no one better than among his master the mind so tat. For me, the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences, a new role models, because most of us can't see ourselves in people. So then we tried fit ourselves
into the box is that we do see, and and I mean this is beautiful quote- I I've been saying it everywhere and I
wish. I wrote it, but I didn't so it's by a philosopher and right in and truly annie.
said that today, I'm not one. I think I am I'm not what you
think I am, I am what I think you think I am
I understand that blow your mind from its there so powerful, I'm not.
I think I am I'm noble use,
and I am I am what I think you think I am
so we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves. Hence my
density is made by what my parents think I should be my dad,
It is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve,
while you're living in that bubble in that echo chamber,
to what you really want to do is impossible, because maybe
this doesn't fit, and I think so many people feel that way today that they don't fit into the current education system. They don't fit with. The
or for five careers that you to exist so that process.
Self. Excavation naturalisation first requires being exposed
You can't be what you can't see
If I never saw a monk, I would never wanted to be a month.
If I never me a billionaire, I wouldn't want to be one. So we know about
like? I don't know what it looks like. I don't know what it takes. An eye
That's the biggest challenge of our society that we're not exposed. So that's the first at being
both to unique experiences and role models. Second step is finding.
Experience or role model that your passion about exactly like you said taking it seriously shadow their network with them, spend time with them, observe them even from afar. It takes that observation being addicted to observing that person's lifestyle.
and then the third step is growing yes or no. Does that work for me
not everyone he's gonna go from become among his gonna feel like the way I did and that's cool
but not everyone is going to go and follow in shadow, a billionaire and god that's exactly the lifestyle I want. They may want the result, but do they want the hardware that goes with it,
for me, that's the third step its observing focusing shadowing getting is close to the process of the individual and then going yes or no. Do I want that prose
S not do, I wonder, result ever
to be that monkeys fully enlightened. You know
can walk through an incredible aura that
but is rather take towards.
But when you realize he has to wake up at two, am every dance teach about four to six hours you like, I don't want to do that that doesn't sound like me, yeah, alright, so a couple of things one you said he's as powerful as he is define power for me.
power being so from amongst percentage
the the greatest power is to be self controlled
to ever to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you wanted to be, you are completely data.
And undeterred from external ups and downs,
you are able to navigate anything that seems,
challenging fun excitement with the same amount of being accurate, poised, unbalanced and equality. Without being
too, excited in pleasure of being too depressed in pain
knowing how to navigate every situation. To me that's great strength and great power
heard in one of your talks, you were saying that if you look at a literal lifeline, a heart be errand, since you know it's it's
in its down, and people have this sense that something like enlightenment would be that the equity forever.
Just an even keel and you said, but what what does that resemble resembles a flat when you die correct? So what is
like what I love about you is you sort of went into the wilderness of being among, but you brought it back to the real world, because when you,
talk about a monkey talk about them being detached, and that to me seems like the only real way to have that sort of
or even keel existence, which is not appealing to me personally. So if
bringing back that notion of power of having control over yourself, not letting your motion sake you everywhere, but knowing that life is, is the series of ups and downs. What is that power? Look like when its proper,
Absolutely and actually that's the whole aim. A monk training. It is more
training system, then it is a lie.
One commitment it is: bringing that mindset into the real world where you get detested now I got to do
for real. When I
a thing among ground five years ago and when I left
it was like, oh my god, I'm in the real world now again real word. I have to think about
apply all this. I'm going to test for real
they stuff that I've learned, and I was scared like I was nervous. I was anxious and all those things that I've been trained not to be rushed back because for the
some of my life, I do really put it into practice:
love that feeling, I'm so glad that I had to do that so for me. Actually, the mindset is completely.
training to bring into the real world: that's what I'm trying to do
and what unwieldy allows you to do is allowed you greater clarity in perspective when you need. It
do you know when you can just take bird's eye view from Sunday
You know when you need to get close into something.
You know when you need to pull back from something: does a beautiful worse in the bank would be that says that
touch. Men is not that you owe nothing detached,
is there nothing owns you
and then I love it because to me that summarizes detachment in a way that its not usually explained using people sitting,
Imagine is being away from everything, actually, the greatest detachments being closed ever
then I'm not letting it consuming own. You and that's
new power. That's real strength, humming.
What do we know that have had fame and then left?
as women, then so for me that
definition detachment is possible.
if the practice, even in the real world rather than saying oh I'm just gonna, have a really simple life, I'm just going to nothing in life. What was the best part about being a mom
the best part about being a monk is that your morning, routine in practice is so powerful tat you can actually aspire from
incredible valleys in life, because your mind is clear because your mind is clear
and you have
add the ability to have more clarity, so you can seek that. What is which is higher so I'll give an example of what I'm defined as I worry about what is higher? Yes, exactly so for me being able to overcome ego being able to overcome envy
being able to overcome jealousy being able able to
overcome their negative of competitive state, there's a positive, competitive state and as a negative, competitive state.
Today when people are looking on instagram or facebook or youtube all you're. Looking at his all, she got that many like
or he got that many like she
engaged or he got married or online.
look at our body or look at that and it's like that starts destroy.
Us inside envy,
see ye greed to be,
We too have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is
alleviate.
the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems.
And we know that we know that
because all the mental have missus ray suggests that things like isolation
overexposure, we now can have more pain consent,
she's in one day because of what we are exposed to.
pain we would have had in a lifetime. That's huge stress inside
over by now.
Do all of these have in common and lack of pests,
control over your time, thoughts and tasks.
But what if I told you fixing all of these problems is as simple as fixing your mindset towards them
not simple it all everyone's busy ever
stress, but we
all use more calm in our lives and learning
stay, grounded and grateful.
truly a daily practice. That's why I parted with calm dot com, to bring you the daily J. If you ve ever wanted to meditate with me and take back control over you're busy mind join me,
The comment for the daily J
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Do the ice apple, crisp, open up marquis from starbucks now with starbucks blonde espresso and oatmeal laird, with flavors of apple cinnamon and brown sugar and talked with the spice apple drizzle. Welcome back fall order today.
But the starbucks up. That's riddick, dig
to think then one day because of the media news in social media, we can
huh more negative than we didn't lifetime. For me,
being able to have time, energy and clarity to focus on self purification,
That is the best of my being a monk.
Because you have that time, reflection and applause
and an environment?
only allows you to become more purified of those things. So, if I
the interviewer that I wanted to be. I would have asked this question when we were on the topic, but I go back jes important enough
you gave us the three ways you can really construct. Europe
deal life but define an idea life for me
so in an ideal life for me is a life, and this applies to accompany and organization and institution for me is an. I do life
is what we all have a head: a hot and her hand, all three elements together: working in it
movement without one or the other, we start to lose something if you
only other head in the hot you
we find that life is stable and defined. Yes, yes, sure sure sure
so a head is. The key
forty of vision. What you want
What you want
Knowing what you want, the way you picture life and being able to navigate make the decisions together. That's a good head, a good heart
is being able to understand what your intuition and hot once be able to connect and tap into that understanding
deeper beyond the vision you may have painted for yourself, so I often
and the people that you get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined and that's because the path that's paved up and down is far different to the path.
He pave, so you can have a great head and great vision and a great mission and nowhere you wanna go, but if your hearts
able to have that resilience and be able to adapt? And
have compassion and care and all of that and then you're not going to be able to make the toughest decisions without your heart, but to be able to realise that we need to
hair and be sustainable and long lasting requires a hot and a hand. Is that service wanting to
was that on that which you have wanting to give it forward, pay it forward,
the idea of serving with what you have, I often say to people your passion is for you, your purposes for others. Your passion makes you have
but when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else's life, that's a service, that's a purpose and that's the hand. So those are my free,
elements of an ideal life like a lot, and I
when you first said it and I'm guide you to find it cause. When you first set it, I thought the heart was going to be the part about, like you know, just compassionate caring for others doing something for other people do. But I, like that the hand,
being tied the service? So one thing that I think a lot about is deep fulfilment like
Really, when I think
ok. What is a life were living honestly comes down to neuro chemistry from me, and it comes down to experience
in this world in a way that optimized for for sustainable pleasure, which are-
differentiate between a bowl of ice cream, a bump of cocaine. Those are pleasurable than I I haven't done the cocaine, but the ice cream. I can speak for a number of good yeah saw that it it holds up, but
They don't bring a lasting of not sustainable rights of both of them and creating the self destructive loop and purpose.
Really does become that thing. That gives you something that is
on a neural chemical level, deeply satisfying and
How much of this lake.
how did you marry the deeply spiritual, the often abstract, oftentimes I'll here, spiritual speakers talking and I feel them sorted
thing off into the ether. How did you marry that two experimentation? Neuroscience practicality like
one. Why do you find that interesting and then to what are you doing with that?
I studied behavioral science, a universe
Yes, I've always been fascinated by why people do what they do
and when I was reading these books that are five thousand years old, my quite as fascination
finding a principle and finding it.
Elephants and modern science
said to myself the day. I can't find that out quick.
I won't believe in this anymore, so I'm still doing that and I'm ready
If someone shows me a piece of science and I can't find a principle in these areas,
to choose likes you. What I like to call these timeless literatures, then I'll give up my faith, because for me it has to
track forward I'll give you really basic gambled today we're in the gratitude movement.
Like a million granted,
you journals out there, there's a million scientific studies on gratitude, and gratitude has been
tibet, a mental health
for when s better relationships coming this so many scientific studies on the on the neuro level.
Shows that gratitude is great for your mind, brain and fulfilment. Now I look back. Gratitude
pull over the turn this wisdom, one of the first things we were trained to do when we were monk, was to pay our respects to the earth for what it gives us, and you do that first thing in the morning. What is that, if not gratitude
when you wake up in the morning. Thank the earth for the food. You thank the earth for the water, you thank you
for allowing yourself to walk use
Start you day with gratitude today. The biggest tip on
orbs and ink, and everything is start you David gratitude like where does it come from its right that these things are owed? So I guess-
and I did I'm intrigue by the parallels and patterns, because it saves you time
It's the same way as which, if I say that this
this person got invested by this company and that's why they're successful because they had the right investors etc. That's a pattern, so I north
building, a business in that area. I'm gonna look furnaces like that. It's the same thing that patent saves. You
I am rather than you trying to figure out, does gratitude work. How shall I be grateful? Creating your own process almost really interesting lie
has taught me to stop believing everything I think me and the way that its taught me, that is by relentlessly punishing me every time I over, invest in being right.
And I remember when my wife and I first got together. She used to get chest infections all the time and
he told me it's because of the sea, and I was like
doesn't make sense and she was like no, no, no, my my grandmother used to just swear up and down if you, if you're hot, and you stand in front of a fan that you're going to get sick and I was like
that is the biggest load of like rap
heard my life that does not make sense like getting sick,
from either bacteria or virus like it's that simple and shoes, I am just saying ass, my grandma, I send it seems clear to me, and I say this is exhausting, and
one time I went to
doctor- and I was like here and my wife is crazy and thinks that when you're hot, if you stand in front of a sea, it'll make you sick and he goes yes she's right eye
hold and he was I was sort of raise like this is what happened and you have a mucus layer membrane in your throat. That's it keeps it. Moist keeps germs from being able to break,
the break through the barrier, and so they get trapped. They got you stomachs, are killed by the us or whatever and said, but if you get a crack
that, then the bacteria virus can actually get into your bloodstream and that's how you get sick and issues dry
her throat out nose like
and it was one of those moments where I was like how many wives tales are true, like direct Emily they're, not accurate, but their true, it s enemy in death.
And so that's how- I think, when you think of a book- that's lasted as long as it as it has, and I know you and I we've never talked about this, but we share a real fascination for storytelling just because it's a way to convey an idea that resin
emotionally and allows people to carried on and pass it on, and obviously this all starts long before we have science and can prove any of this
We see the patterns. We need a way to encapsulate the pattern we encapsulated in a story, the story
is in and of itself totally fake,
now in a modern context, we're getting lost in that the story is fake, even though the take her message is incredibly powerful. Yes, and-
As I I mean it's, the classic story right, the more you learn, the less you realize you know, and you
as a gun, older and really started to understand the stuff and read as much as I do and, quite frankly live and suffer and go through things. Like my wife having MIKE
bio misuse and at first thinking her. All of her descriptions make
absolutely no sense, and then, if you stop passing judgment on it and start saying what, if everything she saying is actually true like what? How would we treated then right,
and so there is something really fascinating, and now I find myself in way more emotionally drawn to the science, because when I can picture it, I've a much easier time doing something moment. So we
You were talking about the things you learned from meditation. I've done tremendous value out of meditation. There's nothing like what you ve learned
so for me it was once I understood that diaphragm breathing made sense because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system. Then, because I understood it like was the understanding becomes a force multiplier. Absolutely
behavioral science self awareness, watching your content, which have you ever looked at, how much content you've put out.
it's a lot to bike when you search your name like to go cause, I I normally try to watch like basically everything- and I was like I give up it's just it's really incredible and and going through that stuff
it seems really clear to me the of massive self awareness and
What would you say like is a process for people to gain more self awareness and then water from
behavior all
human behavior level? What are things at trip up? The average person
The first answer I mean I'm a huge fan of the book. Thinking fast in slow, I dont know if you'd rhetoric
yeah. It's a great book because for me it's got a really close pattern connection again to what I studied
so just understanding system, one in system too. If anyone watching hasn't ready, I highly recommend it just being able to do.
When she ate between system, one in system too, as Daniel common calls. It in the basic philosophy, recall
and changing between the mind and the intelligence.
Knowing how to differentiate the voices in your head is the first level of self awareness, so breakdown. What's that someone is
into our absolutely system. One is your initial response to anything that happened, it's
not that I can't really say to you, say something I don't like me:
Someone naturally would be a face that I pull that. I don't agree with that. That's that's it
the stunning? What system one in its initial default react
and in the moment that count
positive austin, for example, if someone pulled out a knife, you first
you run that
someone, that's a good thing. It's it's safer, you, but also
system. One is someone says something that had your ego and you start defending yourself immediately. That's all
that's a negative of system, one that we would refer to his mind. It's build up of conditioning days. Responses are conditioned those d
four elements are all dead because of habit and continuous practice. The
system, too, is more like the intelligence. What I would say more, like the parent, if you can pick and citizens
one to be more like a child system too, is more like a parent
looks more the long term and looks more the bigger picture it closely
is that default reaction through a set of
checking in metrics decide whether that's true the child
that the one that, once everything right away, impatient quickly
spending straight away
reacting when it doesn't get what he wants to intelligent parent, a good one,
knows what the child wants and needs, and what's better for the long term,
just starting their
and being able to reflect and observed. The different voices inside of us is a great place to start yourself awareness.
because the biggest challenges that most of us don't know
what were listening to and we do
most of us, don't even know that there are more than one voice inside of us
getting over that line is a huge win
because now at least you're trying to differentiate between what you hearing and that's gonna help you make better decisions in the future, so that was also one
on the grey areas. And second, one was what's so that
awareness I'll can what are like typical things that four people up that so in your answer,
Now it's like. Ok, if you want to become more aware, just know that those two things are happening right. You can have an initial response and then one that's more calculated now be aware of these two or three things that are also coming for. You.
the biggest challenges that there's you so much noise,
it's like have you ever had someone in your home? Maybe it's your wife or maybe it's a friend or whatever just play a really bad song too often
is playing a song that you really don't actually heard. My wife laugh because she knows how guilty are: okay, there you go right, there you go and you just play a song and just turn that off and after awhile it's been on for so long
you become immune to like it's just there and is still on, is there-
back you mind and you didn't manage to turn it off
So the noise that describing life, whether it's your parents, expectations where the ritz society's expectations, whether rich your partner,
expectations. All of those are like noise in the background and that noise drives owl
your ability to understand the mining
intelligence. That's one of them
his troop ups- I
looking at, I gave a presentation
build a life. Not a resonates was also one of my popular videos, but very good video. Thank you,
thank you so much and when I did the recent, so you don't see this in the video because, as we said in make into the video but
the reasons that I was doing was around the most common resume lies.
The truth is over forty to fifty percent of us lie on our resumes. If you don't you're missing an opportunity, I'll just say that yeah there you go right so and- and I
dig deeper and I was looking at you know. A lot of people lie about their dates: unemployment, instead of three days. It's now three months, a theatre whatever may be
I dont deeper and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people, and I spoke to be really lie on the reservation. We know
at least forty to fifty percent. Tell us they do
Thing is known, was proud of that
no one knows again, I don't really get really.
It came down to his we're really in secure by our own abilities.
when it came down to is confident about what we have to offer, what you can
to the lack of self awareness, what it can
There is a lack of understanding. What am I good at what are my passionate about what
bring to the table. That's
People are really worried about
they were worried about the job. But when you dumb beneath the surface, the real behavioral trait that was coming out was insecurity and being on confident about ones patent.
that that tells us a law that indicates a lot about human behaviour in human nature.
that the noise from outside
some want to fit into container and that stops us from differentiated
between what is my mind saying. What is my intelligence saying
happens? Is that noise becomes your voice?
so that noise becomes? What you think is what you're saying any more
people. Don't realize that until ten twenty thirty years down the line, how the hell do you like figure out, so your analogy is great songs on you, don't even realize is there anymore? Becomes total white noise you're, oblivious to it? In fact
I only notice it if it gets turned off correct. So how did they identify that? Like? Do you have a process for that? How do you hear the thing that you no longer hear so that you can shut it off?
yeah, absolutely one of the biggest ones, and we say this all the time, but it applies mostly. Today's is switching your association is with emotion,
to people that you had to hang out right is like changing your circle, because
you're only hearing the same thing from that circled, the only way to turn it off
that you haven't you do mass amounts of reflection, is changing
circle where you start hearing, we all
ultimately find the things you wanna hear right. We know that
alright? So I created like a little piece of content for alexa, where I was like. Okay, what are the the four questions that you can ask to get cause you and I use different words, but I think we're saying the same here, so I call
Invisible beliefs
Everybody has a visible believes there. They are controlling your life and
The only way to get them to stop controlling your life is actually figure out what they are, and so I gave for questions that two of the magistrate
from albert einstein one and it's the most important decision every person
we'll make in their life is whether they live in a friendly or hostile universe. Just make it a question: I do you live in a friendly or hostile universe, and so
the the point I'll go through all for it. But the point was that if you ask these four questions and they're just the tip of the iceberg, but if you ask these four questions: you're going to begin to identify your frame of reference, basically just trying to get people to frame them.
as other optimists, optimistic or pessimistic, which I think is what are the the big
ham handed like first thing. You need to become aware of so. First
do you live in a hostile or friendly universe. Another einstein one is ever
being a miracle or is nothing a miracle right because you gotta choose neither one of those is objectively real, but you pagan it's really going to color how you love it
and then number three can you do
Anything you set your mind to without limitation or are there are certain things you can comprehend
and then number four, I'm forgetting right now, so I won't waste time cause you get the I get it. I love them, they're, brilliant, brilliant questions. So what like
there are woefully incomplete. So what can we
add to that not would reach
we bring this on four people, so if that gets them optimistic pessimistic what
what other at a really high level, yeah sure what are other things that people could immediately switch
or, in fact, would immediately which, if they change and other people that their hanging around but like, let's really get real about what some of those things are, so optimism, pessimism what else! So for me,
those two questions that I address myself that that really changed what I do, one of my big
it is what advice would I give my youngest self is huge, because I think that
stuff that we regret that the stuff tat we wish we were doing. That's the stuff tat has been lost in the noise. When you ask,
What advice would you give to your younger self? The number one answer is: I wish I studied this
I wish I tried this out. I wish I gave
so. You know those are all things as somebody didn't do, yeah it's all things that things people didn't do. It's always like something that either should have cast started or didn't continue
and that's really tapping into someone's voice right. That's right
tapping into what someone really wants to do and you going way beyond. Just that would you like
passionate about so hard to answer that, sometimes, especially if you're drowning does that
do questions now. That's really interesting and I need to know what your answer was. So I
to me, I used to do a lot of spoken word when I grow up. I read the dictionary. I read that the soares I loved language, that's what I was fascinated by.
And for some reason I gave it up. Then I found out about monk. Life became a monk and then almost back ten years on at twenty eight asking, I ask myself the question
My answer was, I miss words. I miss expressiveness
sharing a message in stories through
incredible language and ideas, potential, rhymes, but flow and all of the,
that was the answer to my question. One of the biggest
it was. I wish I never stopped right wing
you ask that question. I was only twenty eight salesman,
two years ago, here's a name- and I will tell you right now- that your content, your content,
is like the modern version of spoken word. Oh, I don't have that on purpose or an accident, but like is an accident watching it. I was like if he is doing this off the cuff. I have to hate myself a little
and, if he's writing down, he performs its so well that it feels off the cuff. But it's the answer to the very end.
thank you and you're, so kind of genuinely chats coming from now, here's the thing like look and- and I love giving complements when their real. But more importantly, you compliment the thing you want to reinforce and somebody so you ve got a mission,
on the very interesting which is. Can we make not
It's my word. I don't remember what word you use either in wisdom, perfect. So can we
wisdom spread as far as fast as entertainment.
Just so similar to what I'm trying to change people's beliefs through entertainment. So
I recognise that kindreds all right away and then just watching the continent like woe like this, I'm not surprised
the number of user you ve gotten, because its songs work
Does it make you feel and emotion, but they also tat
into whatever it
about humans, whatever it is? We convey, through rhythm so
and before the camera rolling, we were talking about it. So the one thing that makes me very uncomfortable I do the same- called impact quotes and impact quotes is the first time where I allowed myself.
To perform where I am knowingly. I would not say it like this if you and I were standing next to each other right, this is for the camera. I know how it's going to be edited. I know we're going to add music to it, so it is a performance, but it's
so some of our best performing content. So it's like what you were saying earlier about look I'd just accept that
what everybody geeks out on neuroscience, and so I have to understand like who my audience is and give them something in in a way that will then resonate and go viral absolutely so I think acknowledging that is really interesting. So anyway, I am responding just what you are selling your life seems to be an echo of that answer, all right, so there's a few more things.
I think it's over. I I'm here I mean I'm loving this and if your loving it s one hundred percent, so there are three
questions! You get asked a lot. What are they
the big one is, how do I find my passion
can tell me that what you I need you to answer, each one of them, but if you want,
run through what each of the questions animal go back yet
this do them as they are. So how do I find my passion, my simple model, which
is the dharmu model, it also dharma means eternal duty in debating tradition, so very similar to what achy guys being spoken about today, which is a job
he's version of reason. For being why
we live? Where is meaning coming from and it talks about an intersect of four area?
What am I do that
What do I love
what is the world need and how do I get paid for tomatoes?
for help? You unlock your passion when you find the indistinct across all of those four you're making your passion, your purpose, you learn lock your passion. You find your purpose that this path, one this
puffs part one. I find my skill set and I engage it to help other people and become better at it. So
becoming better what I'm good at and amusing it to help other people, because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at- and I know
more knowledge I have what skills I have. I have some self awareness, the other path, that people after miss that's just start serving people I just not helping
book and I start to notice what I enjoy about that and what I'm good at helping people with so
gone. These part gandhi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others.
So for me, those are the two paths of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas in the sector.
one is Jane my relationships falling apart. I get asked that all the time said. The answer to that is much harder heads it's hard to say,
rise it, but I always start with self actualize asian that
the problem is? We have a list for the one that we want and
don't have a list for what we need to become.
And I dont mean become to attract, I mean become to just be to just
to understand yourself? You don't know what you need in your life until you
who you are, and so I find too many people rush into relationships.
Without really recognising and being fully aware of what they need former relationship, so it
comes back to how aware you how much
stunning do have of yourself and what you need and what you want. That's my best
advice for relationship in like a minute and then the third question
I mostly get asked is J. What do you read like what your favorite books, because it seems you read a law? What are your top three books
they're not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not becoming less and less book of ever read. For me they changed my life. So
That's where I'm coming at a point from I love
start with why by simon cynic, and not because I
lighted to businesses because I applied it to my life and eat.
today. I am constantly
refining my why
all I do every day my deepest morning, routine in practice is too
fine, why I do when I do it so easy.
Now. Do it for money it. So
for me too now do it for followers it so easy for me to now. Do it for fame
and every day I have to find up, because I know
having lived as a monk and what I practice that, if those become what I want, do not forget.
need to be so my daily practice, my daily routine refining mine.
tension which in modern languages. Why so for me, simons will help me. Do that
the ban would gaeta, which I would like
to do for vader acknowledge what ryan's done for stoicism and the buggy.
Over five thousand years old, and that book really exemplifies Schuman, challenged third book I'd say this one's. Can we hard case is the last one anything
When I tried for us in the house, in their son done one like self development, one more spiritual enlightened.
Let me throw a business book in seeing as
sure you have a lot of business, he is, I loved the book.
Financial organizations at an if you read it by Sally michelle,
and the singularity university and that book for me
is an incredible analysis of the success of all
organizations we see ruling or phone today? The way
it's down their business models and how they were created to meet
fastenings. If anyone really wants to start up exponential business today and that's where they have to go and that's when Peter
monday said that, if you want to be a billion
redefining, is someone who impacts the lives of a billion people and
that's what the business book is really about is how do you can exponential organization that positively impact
million people, so there's my three for today,
I've got one more thing. I want to hear you talk about. You three ease,
What are they? Why do they matter?
So for me, my three ease element, environment and energy
Everyone has an element that they thrive in. If you take someone
The element? They won't be the same modern, for example. We Michael Jordan here
credible basketball, he took him out.
This will put an end to baseball known, remember these korea, we don't know when the best athletes of all time-
You environment is the environment around you. You can take a fish out of water and give it a beautiful mention, a bentley and
money in the world, but who die and that's what
I like our environment. Everyone is an environment which may thrive which we have to craft your boss
your work has never been asking what what environment you succeed in right like than ever happens, so we have to create
an environment where we thrive and then finally, its
we some of us love high energy environments, high pressure, some of us
succeed in low energy, environment and low pressure,
figuring out your energy in the frequency on which you operate best will help you thrive as well. So for me those are. The three ease
to really create a thriving environment. No you element, know your environment and know energy and
at all times. If I
anything going wrong. I'm going is my element of alignment. Is my
environment out of alignment or is my energy out of alignment, and it's a great three question test. You can do to yourself when you don't think things are going right
and all you have to do is bring that back into alignment. I love that alright, before I asked my last question: where can these guys find you on the
I absolutely can find me my favorite place for you to. Finally, we see the most of his facebook on J sketchy on instagram,
am J shatters. Well, does my to base to best place
youtube as well: J chatty twitter,
saturday, so it's just usda, sherry on any platform that you're on I'm probably their awesome was the impact
wanna have in the world? I think you view you said it so beautiful
so many times in shared my vision, which is wonderful in its wonderful another week. We share the same thing:
it's making wisdom go viral is incredible
in twenty seven team. That said the most successful people in the world healthy, wealthy and wise shoes, education overrun.
The impact I want to have from the world is owing to transform and revolutionise the entertainment industry so that it becomes education.
without anyone knowing? So it's still completely entertaining it still like watching?
flakes but you're learning but human behaviour, the mine neuroscience and everything with
Even knowing you are to me, that's it
is win that we can have for our society. How many people are gonna quit watching netflix.
meeting a book every night. I don't know
if we can make that book come to life on netflix tat can change the world because that's what people are going to consume
so for so long media has been used to numb people to to switch people off. If we can use it to excite elevate, enlightened,
not by just not by
the cheesy way of like all its follow someone through their journey of enlightened?
It's not like. I peniston formula really entertaining programming where you can
and by being entertained. At the same time, if I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world, then I will feel that I've had some some would have an impact
because that way I think, will reach the world without having to go on
change. Their habits too much
my my things. How do we meet people where they are and
really deliver a message and a powerful expression of love and to meet the highest form of compassion, the highest form of empathy, love and compassion
is to meet people where they already are, rather than expecting them to change. And yet that's the impact I'd like to happen in the world, so fingers crossed with your own
with the help of everyone is watching. You know it's gonna, be a team effort,
I find it on my own are now expecting to rear, that's that
I'd like to the work of man
So what are you guys? I'm telling you when you look at a tribe of people, everybody has different roles and there's always somebody whose job it is to go out to experience the world to bring back the wisdom in a form that has been digested and made easy for other people to take away J shed. He is that man go watch
content. It is somebody who has gone out into the world who's been among cars, worked at accenture and everywhere in between and come back with, a real ability to explain what is going on and he does it from a position of not trying to.
Smarter than you are better than you, but just that that's his role. Some people are musician,
some people are the doctors and some people break down the information. I really think
He has unique access to the wisdom. Is he calls it
understand what people are trying to encapsulate in the books? Modern
or ancient and his ability to articulate that in a way that feels like modern rap spoke
in word, whatever you want to think of it as it. It is in and of itself an artistic creation, so
cannot go wrong, diving into it that it is not a mistake that he's had over a billion views in less than twelve months, which is insanity so go check his stuff out hit him up. Asking questions keep an eye because I think he's going to be one of the greats at really digesting that info
and really helping wasn't go viral guys, we haven't already be sure to subscribe, and until next on my friends be legendary. Take it
thank you so much for listening to that episode. I hope you enjoy dear. I really really appreciate your being here. We have got some incredible guests adding
we'll friday soda episodes coming. Please please
subscribes you do not miss out. There are some huge announcements coming state
and I appreciate you- thank you so much.
The
the
Transcript generated on 2022-10-16.