It's so nice out there out there in them Supermarkets vercelli stretching the sun high in and tonight between that country, skis and kids do in the first snowplow or next pull off to a long day of forgetting what day it is with us to get out of there. Come home, more asked and asked that went away and when you, Evelyn travellers Inexpedient member, you can travel even more so nice out there. So less guy expedient made to travel, Tom Supply see cipher details. This spring transform your outdoor space into a regular gathering place for you and your loved ones with help from actually whether you're into wicker, teak or driftwood inspired furniture. We ve got the look you're going for Adam accessories, like string lights and beverage, touch to take your patio party from basic to cure, aided and enjoy cosy evening vibes with a new fire bid, visit, Ashley dot com or stopped by your local store and find affordable

I think an expert support today shop and save today only it actually, it's not possible to never feel anxiety. It is possible to feel anxiety less. It is not possible to never have an anxious thought wanting something to be eternally absent from our life for it to never happen. He won't have not possible at the same time, will you be up? If you want something to be at Anjali present? We say I always want to be happy. You give me happy everyday, but you won't be happy every moment of every day. That's also not possible pay. Everyone won't come back to on purpose the number one, how podcast in the wild thanks to each and every single one of you, I want to say that I'm so deeply grateful for the strength of this incredible community all the hard work that you're putting in all the changes your making in your life, I amazed that you're staying committed,

listening to this podcast and it means the world to me because it should important constantly refuel our minds to inspire ourselves, to connect with life, changing thought, because guess why, when we change our thoughts, we started chain, how we feel, and so I am so grateful that you here again and today's episode is another solo episode wrong and to give you some power tips on the fives It is of managing change that you can avoid and finding opportune did he in adversity. I thought it was really important that we but how to manage change right now because change something we all experience, change something we're all going through right now and we don't realize that we ve never been exposed.

The skills or the talons on how to deal with it. Now Benjamin Franklin said it best. Change is the only constant in life ones. Ability to adapt to those changes will determine your success in life. That statement literally encapsulates everything we need to know change is always going to be there and sometimes it's more extreme like it is right now than at other times, but in what he says carefully ones. Ability to adapt to those changes will determine your success in life. Adapting is everything for us and it's crazy because learning to deal with change in adapting is probably the most useful skill in the world, considering it that it so constant change I'm a viable. Everyone asked experiences and its consistently experienced, but whenever

reigned in school or college or work how to deal with it. No one of teaches you how to deal with change That's what I want to share with you today, because you find when I start going through these tips in these ideas. There's a lot in there. Energy supplies you on how to do we change. Often we told like just be positive right leg. Just think good things, just look for the good in everything, and you know that's not necessarily the best advice and often can actually be misleading. It can create more challenges that it creates, solutions and we actually end of feeling emptier because of it. So none of what going to share with you today are just easier Is this is really doing the deep work which I know all of you are ready for now he's a thing. Change can often feel like pain. It can feel my grief and loss change can feel like pay

change can feel like a lot more than change, because it often feel like things are changing for the worse right, we want things to change for the better, but when it feels like things are changing for the worse, that's when we feel pain now take not Han explained is best. He said that we have this attachment to familiar pain. We keep going back to the same pain and we want the same pain because it gives certainty in our life. How crazy is that the we crave certain so much that we push ourselves towards Familia pain, we'd rather go through pain, was sure of then new pains, which he calls unfamiliar pains. It's crazy that we

crave certainty so much that we would rather accept familiar pain than the unfamiliar pain of change. So change feels like unfamiliar pain. It feels like you, don't know what to expect. You don't know. What's going on, in a new light, while I dont want badge is rather the pain of sitting in the same place every day and feeling the pain that I'm used to feeling and it's free in aiding right when you think about it. Like that, you know what is wrong with me, why? Why would I do that to myself? But that's how badly we want certainty, that's how badly we want things to stay. The same, so I was looking at this when I was reflecting and think about these podcast and I've been doing so. Many interviews recently on the today show when CNN and we ve done a ton of he's right now to try to support and help would CNBC with the we move man. It's it's been a really power full time to try and get this message out their loan. I was thinking about this pod cause. I was looking at some call the Kubla Ross model which talks about the

I've stages of grief. So here are the five stages. Reef and I'm reading from a graphic that I found on Pinterest add it says that these are the facts. Stages of grief and what they really mean to the first stage of grief is according to the cruel arose, model is denial Denial is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defence mechanism that boffin the immediate shock of loss. now. The reason why I am talking about the grief model is because I feel like to some degree, were all going through some sort of grief or loss at the moment right, we ve lost something we may have lost time. We may have lost money, we may have lost someone and if you ve lost someone or you're going to a really tough time. Potentially, to lose some one. I just want to send you and-

Oh my love and praise and best wishes, but others have lost different things. Maybe you lost I missed your graduation. Maybe you missed a prom. Maybe you missed a promotion? Maybe you missed a vacation? Maybe your wedding got to be postponed to maybe you lost a job? Maybe you broke up with someone because of the challenge of this time, so it's interesting the world going through some sort of grief and the fight. Of grief eyes. De Kubler Rossmore reports were denial is the first step after we deny play the loss and we act like I haven't lost anything. I'm fine, like I'm good night, don't worry about me and we don't seek out help because we feel safer in the denial again. The familiar pain is tick, not Han says the second stage of

The Kubler Ross model is anger and is described. Here is the numbing effects of the denial stage of grief begins to wear off. The pain of loss starts to firmly take hold, as we search for blame feel intense out and lash out. So this is where we, you know start. Find someone else who is responsible for the pain we reflect or deflect our pain, to some one else now be third stage of the cruel arose model. Is bargaining? Bargaining is the what if stage of grief- and it serves an important purpose, it provides temporary escape from pain, provides hope and gives a person time to adjust to the reality of the situation. Right. That's the bargaining. What, if this, what if tat- and it gives us a temporary relief again we're looking constantly for that numbing its fascinating that we so been trained to sit without pain. That weakens

between a norm, everything right and when people on a nun stuff, we tend to alcohol, we tend to addiction, we tend to overeating, we tend to the aims games. We know more selves in so many from ways from feeling pain because it feels easier, and so that's why we develop all these bad habits and hey you falling fallen into a bad right now will you struggling with a bad habit right now? You ve gotta, give yourself a break because its natural, when were feeling pain, that we try numb ourselves from that pain. So that's bargaining before these depression in the cruel arose model this of depression is not a sign of mental illness. Is the appropriate response to a great loss. You my experience in ten sadness, decree sleep reduced

appetite and loss of motivation of common and the fifth and final stages. Acceptance. Acceptance refers to accepting the reality of a loss and the fact that nothing can change that reality. This does not mean that the person is ok with the loss I've studied and read about the Kubler Ross model before and I was thinking a lot about it, because I see that the phases I was going through during this time. You know we ve all been locked down for like six to eight weeks now, and I was thinking that so many people are going through. phases and you can tell by the Means people post what phase therein right now, and you know it started off- is complete panic and kind of like confused, in an anxiety, and then he got to a point of on board and now I'm in the House Board and then he got to appoint a China and serve and make a difference. It's really interesting. So the reason I want to it is with you is. I think, we're Org A real, powerful opportunity right now.

To build our muscle of dealing with change right dealing with changes like a muscle in the body, the more you lift a weight of that must all the more likely it strengthens and surface. So many of us this as time that dealing with changes like hitting us in the face, and we can avoid. We can't skip it. We can't pretend like it's not there. We can just say: oh ok, like I can just go out, My friends and I won't have to worry about this anymore right. How many of us have used business used being productive use being

you're just having a law on as excuses for not really addressing what we're going through and for the first time, it's hard to turn to any of those things. This spring transform your outdoor space into a regular gathering place for you and your loved ones with help from actually whether you're into wicker, teak or driftwood inspired furniture. We ve gotta, look you're going for Adam accessories, like string lights and beverage tat to take your patio party from basic to cure, aided and enjoy cosy evening vibes with a new fire bit visit, Ashley, DOT, com or stuff by your local store and find affordable pricing and expert support today shop and save today only it actually, you know one of the biggest challenges, the we're all experience I now is that we feel bad for what we feel sad about right.

Have you going through that right now, where you feel sad, because you ve lost something or there's something missing in your life and then you for bad, because you're feeling sad for I think that doesn't feel worthy of losing because someone else's lost so much more, and this is something that we all go through life, so so the example images, Maggie really simple- is that if someone's losing a family member and you ve lost a vacation, you think you can feel bad for losing that vacation or it- was a family member. You may have lost your job, but you like our least I'm still alive and least my family still love C4 bad for feeling bad right. You feel bad about feeling sad about whatever you ve lost now. The truth is that this is actually one of the biggest mistakes we making change is that we be little our pain, we shrink if we make it feel insignificant. So sometimes that's a useful thing, but it's not useful when you just shove your feelings under the carpet.

you hide them. The analogy I was giving to some of the other day. Is you know when someone coming over to your home, you ve got guess coming over. You got friends coming over and because you dont want to tidy up Please use the shove all your clothes or your snacks, whatever it is, you shall them into wardrobe, hoping that no one's gonna find there and they won't see and they come over. The pieces are beautiful and then you know in a few months time you somehow open that shelf up again by mistaken everything falls on top of your problems, a kind of like that. We we try enclose away our problems into the closet of hiding things from ourselves or or brushing it the carpet and then one day, all of our problems, cascade and fall onto us, when we reopen that caused. So you know many times. We gonna keep doing this in our life and I feel like right now and it's not about the best time. It's it's. It's a tie

when we don't really have a choice where we have to really address what's going on. So I want to talk about these five stage, of change that I was inspired by the Kubler us more than the five stages of grief, but I. These is being the personal development personal growth way. Of dealing with change that I want to share with you today, and these are the five day is that I'm sure you're going through and as you sing to me. I want you to pinpoint way you think you are and remember. None of them is a good place to be or a bad place. easy place or a hard place. I just want you to be honest with yourself about where you think you currently are and none of them makes you better or worse right. Look. I want you to recognise that, like none of them makes you better or worse, for where you are it's just important. If you know you know We all know this that when you figure out where you are, then you know in a way you wanna go

where you wanna be. So these are the five stages and, like I said, I don't mean to judge yourself, you D. I want you to find yourself on the map and the reason I M showing you today's I'm giving you the map of change because don't away. You are how you gonna get to where you want to get too, and that's really. she'll when you're stuck in a zone like a lot of us all right now, when you feel stock, when you feel lost when you feel confused gets really really tough, like really tough, too, Where you going next in any kind of like there is no next how mediums we have felt the eunuch I've heard of wool, I'm at a dead end, its blue, It's not going anywhere. I don't know what I'm gonna do right. So this is I'm giving you this so the first stage- and this is imagine the first time you heard about covered and you realize that it might be a locked down. Any minor live to see any one. The first thing that we expenses

eighty right how many of you all your hand up right now, not away how many of you fell, anxiety, confusion, fear and feeling Stop I'm sure a lot of you felt that I know I father you just for mass confused, like pandemic. I remember lot of using the word pandemic its thy. While they sounds crazy. I come if there's a pandemic, and then you go while its affecting the whole world for the first time and you just getting anxious you getting tons of alerts tons of news. You getting tons of shots in Congress, nations and all the rest when all of a sudden, you just completely anxious anxieties, a very common thing to feel at the beginning of change, no one of the biggest things that we do with anxieties. We almost feel surprised by what I call now. Why am I feeling so anxious? Why am I feeling so nervous when I confuse it's like well, wait wait a minute if someone just told you news that you weren't, expecting it snatcher

we. I want you to realise this. We get surprised by anxiety and we saw getting worried that were anxious. But actually what's happened is that anxiety is something that we should expect, because any terms of a new happened. You naturally going to feel anxious. Anxieties and natural and normal feeling it's when we demonize it. We get scared of you in this. one of the most beautiful teachings I learned is a monk that monks, never demonize or glorify anything. We neutral So when you hear about anxiety, if you demonize inside, is at all no anxiety is the worst thing that could happen to me. It's going to happen to you again at some point when it happens to you. Oh my god. This is the worst thing that happened right, you, you associate that demonized version of it now. Obviously, we glorify anxiety, but a glorified versions my God, incited the best thing in the world. It's amazing, that's also not true

right. We don't want anxiety all the time we do want to feel constantly anxious shoe neutralizing. It means I expected then, and I'm learning to develop the tools and the practices that help me man, Jim and navigate to, rather than expected, never to happen you want to lie in our life to be eternally pleasant or eternally absent. So what I mean by that is often we say like. I never want to feel anxious again news update, not possible

just not possible, it's not possible to never feel inside. It is possible to feel- and I t less it is possible to feelings idea for less time. It is not possible to never have an anxious thought right so wanting something to be eternally absent from our life too, for it to never happen, he won't happen. It's not possible and at the same time we do the opposite. We want something to be eternally present. We say I always want to be happy. I want to be happy every single day. You can be happy everyday behind me happy every moment of day? That's also not possible, and so these false expectations in our minds and our lives create in society, and so I really want you to think about What's creating your anxiety, the more we learn to accept a normalizing neutralize, the easier it begins to deal with now. The second thing that we all experts which, having most of us experience in different ways, is an

now anger doesn't mean you shouting and screaming and being lost it can mean that, but angle also means like internal feeling of like bitterness and just feeling upset angry at the world and angry you solve and angry. What's going on and not being product, his anger can also be inward. It isn't always have to be out with, and I think a lot of us experience the word anger more than we experience outward anger and again, this is the frustration, the pain, the disappointment with ourselves for the situation Angry governments were angry, ass, the world angry at the news we just angry and again. This is something that we have to explain something. We have to feel it's. It's not normal where we have to try and do it- our emotions is to feel them for less time and give them less energy but it is a mean we don't have to feel them. and so may be many of you went through anger again

go away. You on the journey. Now the fad statement of the said places acceptance, right. You can see some of these are there in the Caribbean smaller. What I mean different things for me. It's also accepting in the same way is that you accept what's going on you. Ok, I get it contains a real thing. Lockdown the real thing covered the real thing. This is all real, it's not going away, but it does mean I'm happy about it. It just means that I accept that it's there it's real end. I have to do with the fact that its now happening right. It's it's getting to grips now. Getting to acceptance as quick as you can is a beautiful thing when it's real leg, you wanna, get acceptance very beautifully and naturally and get to a point where you

just are able to say. Yes, I've found it yes, I'm here, yes, and everyone needs we real in summer. We rush the process of getting to acceptance because we think we have to be there and I don't want you to be accepted because you feel you have to be there only to be it acceptance, because you really are there right when you feel you have to be some way. You know really there you don't. I mean that even when someone says you have to be at a party, you know really there that's kind of like getting too captains sake. I wanted to be their lives, you want to be there. I don't want you to be there because you think you have to be there really think about that with acceptance. and acceptance again is not a permanent state, so you may get too sentence in a day, and then you may feel in anxiety again the next day. That's fine, but acceptance is a growing state. Again, it's not permanent anything when we're looking for permanent, there's, nothing that has that permanent fixture for us when it comes to our emotions and now

Don't worry us save us from the fourth expectation before stage is adjusting in adopting this is where you should be spending most of your time and where you want to be where you experimenting with morning. Routines your experimenting with trying on new work out your experimenting with trying to find your feet and adjusting in adapting. is something we find us having, but actually we can find very exciting, but you can see trying to find out how to make this work and how it fits, and so I feel like inside he was with me about three days. For me, when I first heard about what of this, I was anxious about. You know how he would affect things in trying to figure it out anger. I've I've worked on

feeling less and less in life, but definite can go in words to be aware of it. Acceptance I've train myself through this process to get their quicker adjusting in adapting to the longest period for me, so I feel like I was adjusting in adapting for good three weeks for three weeks. I didn't know what kind of routine I wondered how I wanted to focus, and I found that having a morning routine, having that certainty in your day is what creates adjusting induction easy. So when you are doing the adjusting in adapting mode what you want to do to get there is going to create a stake in the ground. Landmark thing that you do every day. One landmark thing you do in the morning and in the eating one flagship thing and now really allows that to become easier, so in the inside phase. What you want to do is want to seek facts when anxious you wanna research and seek facts you focus away from fiction focus away from opinion. You want to focus on facts

and that's what we don't do, an inciting inside is very naturally go with opinions, it's very natural to get lost in ideas, but actually inside he what you FACTS fact how you solve anxiety and change. You move towards facts now, when you feeling anger, what are you doing in anger, you journal, you allow yourself to feel our pain. Will you try and directed towards what was actually stopping you? U, which will come back to yourself? You wanna not direct direct anger towards yourself, but you in a direct that reflection. So anger requires reflection and introspection and acceptance to get there. What you wanna do is you want to start creating a real viewpoint now of where you things are heading in adjusting in adapting you, gonna spend experimenting and exploring, and the fifth and final step I call, is action, this is when you finally get into a groove and you create a plan and you start moving in making a difference in your life and the lives of others.

so the five stages of managing any change in society, anger, acceptance, adjusting and adapting and action, and guess what it's a psycho you are going to go through. All of the multiple times do not expect to get action and then not fall back. Indians, isolated are weak and that should and discourage you. It should make you feel, like you have a real plan, you you know that it's gonna happen inside you have to work out every day. You know that you don't get to a particular time. Body or mind and then just stays the same right. Doesnt work like that and what I've been blown away by right now is of humanity like you know the people, let us not stop living because of the virus. Listen, that's really. The Quai d managing change is that you find new way to live find a new way to fall in love with your life and when I've seen people I've seen, people getting married on zoom I've seen it, and who is disinfecting all of their Fedex packages when they

let them have seen some one who was in a church just with their partner and they put picture of all of their family members around them and got married? I mean I've, seen incredible things and if me with so much joy and hope that people find ways. Manage change and therefore one of the best ways to manage change is affection. Giving affection to others lets you feel, like you, have a role when you feel part of the solution. It makes you feel like the problem is getting smaller and smaller when you're not upon the solution. The problem feels like it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger, so I really that you apply this to right now. I hope you applied. It

Any change in your life share this with your friends. Put this on your instagram stories on Twitter and Facebook on Youtube. Tell me: what's reasoning with you tell me what's connected with you, I can't wait to see what you see. It's always always fascinating for me to come across what stands out to you and what makes a difference to you now I want to read some of your incredible reviews that you ve left on the pot us, and this is for the canal nigh upon cars from Jan in Boston. I believe I've listened and many other sorts. However, I think this is by far my favorite episode. I fell in love with canals, wisdom and insight This is great and reading another one from Jesse: zero, three, zero five hands down the most genuine person in content. I've come across and I listened to all the great he's such a profound experience, and he is aware broaching challenging. Makes with no judgment and sound advice, tangible knowledge and beautiful. So you will not regret listening to a single episode. Thank you so much for this beautiful reviews, so much to me if you go to depart cost at an

a review and shared stories, tag me in and I will try and repose some of them as well. Thank you. So much for listening today share this episode. Appreciate you so much take care and see you next week.