« Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations

Maria Shriver, Part 2: Forgiveness, Love and the Truth

2018-06-27 | 🔗

Oprah continues her conversation with Maria Shriver as the journalist, producer and author shares more from her number one New York Times best-selling book "I've Been Thinking...: Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life." Maria explains why she chooses to "see the good" and what it means to reclaim your personal power. "Lately," she says, "I've been choosing to widen my gaze beyond the daily news I consume and seek out the good -- the light, the love and the truth -- that's shining through the cracks." Oprah also asks the former first lady of California whether she will ever run for political office.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I'm over Winfrey welcome to supersede conversations the podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gives you can give yourself is time taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper The round us start right now welcome to part two conversation, I love a chapter and looking for the light in the cracks yeah Great Leonard coincide. As bad as the noise of the news continues to get louder. Meaner, more confusing it isn't it more than we as its on believable that they like people, say to one another, and actually I mean, since I grew up in politics. My whole I've. I've never heard a political leader use the language that this president uses about other individuals, I mean the name calling and I think
challenging to people who are trying to parent because yeah and who are trying to have this. How do you have any kind of get worse it? Well the leader of your nation is using like really juvenile names to call people go. It's more confusing, were divisive, more violent and more heartbreaking. You say, and I found myself trying to look for the cracks in between and lately I've been choosing to widen my gaze, beyond the daily news I consume and seek out the good the light, the love and the truth that shining through the cracks. Surprisingly, I don t look very far. You say because I see so many great examples of light, love and integrity everywhere. I look yes, I do, I think, that's what this moment is here to show us actual. I couldn't get more. People are so awake. People are so aware, and I I hope that's one of the things you know people than coming up, like all my God, what you think
happening, what's happened, city what's happening is a chance for one people to get involved. What's happening is a chance for people to wake up, to learn cracks yet to learn about their government to learn about who has a voice and who doesn't who can jump in and who can't and the answer? Is anybody can jump in right and everybody is jumping, and so I think that that's the Good NEWS of this moment. I think the also the chance to think of what it's like to be Dhaka. A child who was brought here know that, terrify, so it's terrifying, but I think if you are that child and you looking- you see the vast majority of people in this country, want you hear the vast majority of people in this country are on your side and so, Did you have to widen your gaze with all of this when people say we're all divided? I don't believe that I believe if I were,
my gaze or many more people who quote are in the purple nation, which is the combination of the red and blue yellow, say you know, I'm a little democratic, little Republican, I believe in this country. I am proud to be here. I want the best and I see people all around the: U Interview, people all the time, we're doing extraordinary work. But the media, the mainstream media, doesn't focus on them and doesn't focus that focuses on the noise that focuses on the division. That focuses. The majority of the news is about one. And everybody reaction in the inner edge. Everybody yes rising to the level of hysteria and I'm trying to have a completely different conversation and its one that I find so many other people want to have this. While they want to talk about all the other stuff. That's going on all the people who are running who are getting involved. All the people starting nonprofit, looking at business as a way to create social change. Theirs
watch good going on. So I read that and then I go look over here. I love what you just said about the purple nation. I think there's so much negativity on both sides, yes of Red States, who states and people rising to the level of hysteria to meet each one, that there are far more people who are leaning purple As a liberal, I dont use not identify myself that way, so I grew up with everybody. Same Republicans were bad people concerned, grew up in this big democratic family and then, of course, I became a democratic first lady in a republican administration, and I had a first hand view of well there's some republic into a really good people. They have good ideas come into this space, the same way that Democrats have met, and while there is a lot of damage, your answer will be higher shares year. This
in values shared the same hopes and there's some democrats over here? Who are not so good people, and so everybody has good and bad like all of us right, so I thought to myself. You know I saw both parties up close, I saw both parties beholden to their own interest groups and so after watching. All of that, I decided you know it. I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be in a part of like your bad, I'm good he's good, she's bad, and so I became an independent because I think once you're an independent people list, The two you differently: they dont immediately think you are bad, even though people think I'm from this big democratic family and they think you're a liberal Democrat, that's it! I can't even talk to you will that's no talk to me. I did the same thing became independent
You did purple nerdy reprobation programme, and I think that that is we, I think you know Naomi, been unhardy decision for you. I was coming from democratic world really hard and it was about my identity. You know I was like I'm an Irish Catholic Democrat way. And it s Armada, Irish Catholic Democrat, I'm an irish Catholic, independent! Ok, I named it that's what I am you know, I'm someone who's seen both parties up close, I'm someone who has seen the good and the bad and both parties- and I do believe that, as long as we have this team in that team conversations are gonna, be divisive people often time we'll just vote for someone cause. A party tells them too, and they don't have to do any work to see who they are. So I think, by being an independent, it makes you work
little bit harder talking to people. Why did you become that? What do you think? What are your values? Who are you then? Just assuming someone is set, something because a Republican in the south is very different from a Republican, maybe out here in California or up in the northeast. So we have these labels and we don't get to know who the person is, and I think we need to do more talking and consideration of what are the things we actually do agree on. Yes, what are the values that we all hold to be important to us as a nation
raising our children in being able to move forward. And what do we care about in this world? Absolutely I talking there about the power of care and ass. I used to always think that caring and kindness were kind of weaker values, and I have since in the last ten fifteen years, seen them up close and seen how strong you have to be too early care to actually care and how much intestinal fortitude that's an action were. That is an action worth caring kindness. I mixed that up. I thought it was. You know, kind of in a week value because a soft skill, a soft scale and that's a tough scale, and so I think kind of who we are as a nation. How do we care about people who each? What is our policy about that? What do we value in this country today at this time? Would you ever consider
politics? I thought about politics, and you know running for office. My whole life before I even had any right to think about running for office, because people just come with you. What are you going to run? What are you going to run and Michael out on this picture. Why don't you run? Why don't you run? And I used to think that my mother really wouldn't think I was great unless I ran and that, unless I jumped in like all the boys in right, she didn't have a chance. So I had to fulfil her vision for herself and I dont feel that anymore, and I think that I have a voice, as I think everybody has a voice and I think I'm using it effectively in the space that I'm using it, and I did
May I think I did really well as first Lady of California, I really enjoyed it. I can certainly now everyone and in their sister, has taken your idea of the women's conference earlier. There is a lot of them and fears the highwayman, though there is a lot of what are you not aren't. You did but dear law, her. I know- and I actually people say to me: why don't you start again? Wants you do it again? I say it's everywhere now, even the language that was at the women's conference, the colors, the everything about it, except for the Minerva words, but they ve people have started other a warm words yes like that, which is, I think, the highest form of flowers
think the highest form of flattery- and I remember, walking out onto the last women's conference, and am I done it's not going to get any better than this everybody's emulating it? Let it go down, I'm done! I'm not done I'm done with that, but I feel very alive at this age, which is a surprise to me. I feel like there's a lot I want to do. I want to talk a lot more about women's health. I really believe I can help find a cure for Alzheimer's. I really believe my this can be helpful in talking about how we age in this country and intergenerational living and when I look at it in the shame, a rounded around age of as a language, yet pressure around a gene and you know. I mean I sit, listen to my daughters and their friends in their early twenties what they talk about. Just like I, oh oh, it's so sad to me that that they feel
this pressure to not have a wrinkle not have a bump, not have a crease and therein there too Isn't there like? Oh my god, if I don't have these breast, if I don't get this taken care of, if I don't get that it can care of. How will I age- and these are all people in their twenties, and so it's really a you know like what I never even heard a boat until I think I was fifty Norman Raza Jimmy was as the companies you go. You you said, you'd views Botox it. I said I have a news. You said you and I are the only two people in the state of collateralized like yeah that was like ten years ago, but I had never even heard of it. I had never even heard, and I think there's a lot of pressure like you know, to sit here on camera. Right. I stop looking at comments that people started saying about myself, like my guy Maria shower, I look at my neck, you notable. Why are you do something? Dear maybe I'll put it behind I say
My kids, like maybe we weren't I've run, wrote the book. I feel bad about waiting mad about. I nag its is somebody you know so AIDS. I had revealed that a global. I guess I do you know you do that. I remember my mother. Had the most kind of wrinkled face of anybody. I'd ever see is a classic yeah and but I remember she would look fit in the car and she'd do this like that, and I find myself oftentimes doing that. But I remember what was the great thing about my mother was that she never I don't think she put any face crema wave about, so she was extreme, but I think she was always the most interesting
person in the room for each of us of what was going on in here and because of what she was doing in the world. So that's kind of my model, although I'm definitely more vain than she is. I pay more attention than she did. I think it's a different time, but she was always two main like focus on your brain, improve your brain b, int as a Dane cause. That's how you walk in the room. How do you rose kind yet ambitious challenge, children yeah? But how do you do well. We hear your ear. You you're, coming from the Kennedy, yeah Shriver, shortening legacy and trying define your own way in a world that is, you know, looking
Your name in your fame and your hurry hurry. What what is it? What is a staple in your home that keeps your kids grounded? Well, you probably have to ask than that- and I talked to them a lot about that, because I grew up in a similar way. So I feel like that they can at least even though they say to me it's nothing like it is now, for you know it's not like it wasn't for you, it's much different for us, that's what they harder. Yet they say much harder. It felt hard to me at the time, but they feel like it super hard, but I say to them: look at you know. At the end of the day, you are you, you will surround yourself with people who know you and love you. That's your job to have a good group of friends around you. I expect you, and so does your dad expect you to be kind and compassionate. That's what I expect of you and I expect you to work hard.
I don't expect you to make a lot of money, but I expect you to work hard, as does your dad, and so I also expect you to do something. That's good in the world, meaning find a passion and find a charity find a nonprofit. They can use your help and so I'm not going to tie lovey new to how you do, but I do expect you to be kind and loving and you will always be accepted here in this home. You will always be loved here. It's you know it's a non negotiable. You will have that you all the time and I think people will always think you don't have to work. It came easy, so you're gonna, probably to work twice as hard. That's how I felt and then you're also then have to be able to put on blind
and eliminate the people who say you only got this cuz of who you are you got it easy. You got this, you got that and you just got to keep going, got to keep your head down and keep moving forward. Everybody has their stuff, everybody has challenges but you're blessed and I think just keep trying to reiterate to them. Acts of kindness, let them see acts of kindness I think they see both their dad and I working you know so you could say to them. I don't have to work at this age. You dad doesn't have to keep working, but we keep working and so it's important to work. So I just tried to tell them that both your grandparents work till the day they died. They both tried to make the world a better place and that to me as your legacy, one of the chapters that you talk about in Been thinking is forgiving. Was it? Was it a challenge for you to learn to forego? Yes, absolutely
but it has all you confused about what it actually be here and I think everybody is only Amazon is confusing. I think people think oh I've forgiven best,
at the moment comes back up again, two months later and then you ll have to start work on that. So I think forgiveness is a work in progress. I think you know I was always explained to me that forgiveness was about the other person and once again the person is not in the picture, and so I remember a healer I went to see somebody said to me: don't say that you go to healers or therapists rating on. Like I look at I'll go anywhere. I am open to different religions, different points of view, different traditions and a healer said to me. You know the path to forgiveness starts with yourself for giving yourself being kind to yourself being compassionate to yourself and richer roar. I went to a retreat with my brother Timothy, to hear Richard Roar and he said look at if you have a soul and a heart so does the other person. So does everybody else and if you deserve to be forgiven, so does
the person whoever they may be. That was really helpful to me, because I realized that if I wanna beloved than anybody who's ever hurt, me also wants to be loved. If I want to be forgiven and not judge, so does anybody who ever hurt me- and I think that there is always my daughter was struggling with a You know an issue and a friendship there. So many areas of our lives that require forgiveness, and so I think it something to get good at early young, yes, because you're going to have to use it over and developing castle yeah? And I think it's like look at. You know if you're in a fair way, there's always things that need to happen with forgiveness and a family if you have siblings, if you have in laws, if you have nieces and nephews, if you have friends, you're in a marriage if your boyfriend girl, from whatever I would say to my care How you go in and how you go out are really important and that's also with the job, how you go
and how you go out, really important. How you go in a relationship and how you go out really important and so do the work. Now that gets you ready for being able to be good at forgiveness, cause you're gonna have to practice forgiveness. I don't care who you Arctic shown yet, and I say to my kids: you're gonna have to practise letting go. You're gonna have to practice forgiveness, kindness, empathy, compassion, you're, gonna have to undo In brief. I have a book about my daughter, my kids, like I'm, like anybody, read the book now we have the audio version. We ve heard it over Dinner's yeah, that's right! seeing as I do the same thing in your dinner table that your parents, in your dad did with you. I remember the first summit into your house and size of his gosh has so much. You said you were in the bathroom. I love the bad guys would have door closed because that they give to talk about what
important to you with what did you do when what have you accomplished my girlfriend and she has a show, I don't think I said little shall I think she has a talk show. I think my parents like talk, show now, what are you doing? What we are all? Yes, that's right, so there Very happy to see your progress
She told me over the years how happy ship she was proud of me. She was proud of here yeah. Why did well that's bag, the other aspect at his bag and he's been yeah? I thought it when she said it s, because you know she. I thought it any woman that I've ever known in this world who could have been president and cordiality this country forward. He would have been your mother yeah if there's any woman alive. You know I had this conversation with her right. Like two years before she died and I said to her mother, you know: don't you feel, like so great, were sitting at a camp Shriver inaccuracies. Eighty five and down like you have these five kids. You ve been married forever in all your kids get along. You ve created this worldwide movement. It don't you feel, like so incredible wishes. I never had any power as a why Josie I never ran for office, so I didn't have any powers, but that's not the only place where there's how're, but it was her generation
right you're her family, which is why I think our family early on beliefs. If we don't keep checking them, we can take them all the way to our eighties without re evaluating them units Schreiber, which say that an eighty five I ever had any power had every honorary degree, powerful Yemen on earth, but she I'm sure her beliefs were her brothers. Had all the power her brothers were the success and you know there's some degree of truth because when they walked in the Rome people went to Teddy people went to Bobby people asked her about. You know President Kennedy and so then her work, always like on behalf of the children, but this was just the actual charity or something like that, and I think the book that really details how she crafted legislation, how she crafted policy to change school systems. You know housing system.
Everything that she was working behind the scenes in the scene, but living democratic, not giving any corner and sell it. She were alive today. Her beliefs should be raised with completely different beliefs and expectations of a woman and opportunities for a woman said that she felt well gosh. You know the boys were the stars, and my family, in I think, as it is, is a loss yeah. I think she also. You know. I hope that when she was quiet she may be focused, and all the incredible thing she accomplish, I dont go a we gotta go a day with someone not dynamic today about my may or daddy. Will this The no magazine were entering the question, how to be happy and what being happy means have you got into happy yet I just road in my Sunday paper about yet be moments that I had thought that we actually at particular our age. We need to name moments of joy and search them out on a b
you'd be moment. This isn't nipping Armenia warehouse we're having a Yankee moment. So for me, I can feel happy moment. I can feel it inside. It's not happy what I used to think of what happy happy for me now is. Like my kids come for dinner you'd, be I have a great conversation with somebody where I did feel connect. You have really. You know someone invites me somewhere hippy my brother often says he? I want to come and have my birthday with you unlike yet be. You know, just add that, for me is so much joy and or someone comes up and tells me their story about Alzheimer's, and you know that I helped, unlike what you'd be here before us you'll, be, I feel good is this. What do you think it is a keeps people from finding those yuppie moments, I think maybe they don't know that it's there
they don't have a name for our mutual friend Elizabeth Lesser wrote me this morning and said I want to go with my son in my God son, and I was feeling this. Oh, that's a hippie moment. I have a name now. I have a thing like every day. I can look for you'd, be a momentum, and I have a name, and I can look at it small ways. I think we all think like its Disneyland, twenty four that now hippies are actually small thing, small things and that has been like an you know. I opening thing for me that it's the small things when someone calls me out of the blue and just goes. I just want to say hi. Cute baby, that is awesome and that it and also making sure that you have people around you that you can reach out to that. You can call on that. You can say I need you. That is really a yippee
I've that you ve made a hippie like yeah right, yeah, there's always gonna be really tough, things that happen in everybody's life and ass. We get older, it's gonna get tougher and tougher. I'm two weeks, I've just barely two people younger than me, so it gets tougher and tougher and you have to be like wow today, you baby you in each chapter the book with a prayer. Oh, yes, you have paid sustained you totally time, eight percent, and every morning I open my eye that while I had a lot of catholic in May growing up because I went to catholic School. I then went to the Jesuits my parents went to mass every single day. We had lent and alters my grandmother was constantly talking about. Great, but I didn't feel it like in there and there I have a good community in my neighborhood
you, soldier, Johnson S going to church and have also started. Go we take the children. I sign stave now moved into a different figure of different church and which they live. A younger pastor, whose Mary, who is kids, who is kind of speaking to them from the Bible and ways that they find it more modern, then going with me on Sunday, but once in a while one of whom was don't go with me, you write about getting what you call the open feel yeah? Allow me a lot of lavender and open field. What what does that mean? So they open feel. Those you know is an idea that I
So Roma has been a big influence in my life, and my daughter was like european signal about room before you have like no way I've been talking about roaming way before the onset of advising you actually knew when she chose that name, because you had heard me talking about Romania, I guess you're right money anyway, so he has this thing that turns out beyond wrongdoing and right doing, there's a field I'll meet you there and I kind of took it one step further like out beyond right, doing wrong doing out beyond shame expectation, guilt, fear whatever that is free. There is an open field. I'll meet you there and I remember saying to our other mutual friend Martha back. I said: roomy wrote about the open field and she goes what I said. He said: there's an open field out beyond fear and judgment, and she was Maria. I won't look that up. That's not right.
May roomy well there's a field you made all that other stuff out of sight. Wow. That's actually came right out here. That's what I try to manifest just in my own light, that's my vision for where I'll be standing is in an open field out, on my anxiety out beyond my fear out beyond my judgment and expectations. All these things. I'll be there? And I manifest who I want in that field, what I wanted to look like, and I reject myself forward and that's what I everyday, I kind of just stay focused on getting to the open field you're in there with me. I'm right there you pay, but I think it say it helps me on my daily life to think like. I want to be in a place out beyond judgment out beyond guild I'll, be on fear, LP on shame, everybody, eight so while open, because I need so many people who wanted.
Where everybody elsewhere to irrational ceremonies, buddy, it's so while open, because I need so many people who want to be in that too. They don't have what everybody want. They want that. You don't know how to how to decide the name it you don't name it. Yes, so aid Sadie thing you open field is GPA moments where people are you know, sometimes, when I described to go there like? Are you talking about cooperate, right now? I, like you, know I'm really talking about a place that is in my heart and in my mind, but I really believe we can live like that. I really believe that that's my vision for this country, it's how I think people want to live, and I mean people who are already living that way. Meat nonsense I write about in the boss of Orange, forming like in community, I dont think were meant to live isolated and
kind walls and not trusting or knowing our neighbours are not communicating with people in being so hostile and calling people names and think that you belong here. You don't and I do and you don't. I don't think that's how were meant to live, and so I dont believe in that. I believe this is our mental, a and b and act and connect can't wait meet you out there and then altogether online you be yet they think I love you. Hey there podcast listeners. I have exciting news, we're launching a brand new podcast. In addition to supersede conversations, it's called operas master class. The master class podcast allows you to hear the greatest life lessons from some of the most respected and renowned actors, musicians, public figures and athletes in their own words. Listen is jazzy just in timber lake, Ellen Degenerous, Shaquille, O Neill, Reba, Macintyre, Dwayne, Johnson and Jane Fonda, just to name a few share. What they ve learned about,
life and their own insights into their personal stories and challenges. I believe that there is something to be learned from every experience and everyone can use their life as a class operas master class podcast will be available July. Nineteen On apple podcast, subscribe now in this in free go to apple, podcast, dot, com, slash operas master class; I'm over Winfrey and you ve been distinct, supersonic conversations the pod cast. You can follow super soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook if you haven't yet go to apple podcast and subscribe weight and review. This pledge cast join me next week for another supersonic conversation. Thank you for listening.
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-01.