Oprah Winfrey says that for many people searching for peace and purpose, one of the biggest obstacles can be the struggle to forgive. Especially if one has suffered trauma, abuse or personal betrayals, forgiveness can seem like an insurmountable hurdle. The journey to releasing resentments and vengeful thoughts, and the letting go of all hope for a better past, are probably some of the biggest spiritual challenges any of us will ever face. Oprah says if we accept these challenges, the rewards are great because on the other side of forgiveness is freedom. In this episode of Super Soul, Oprah sits down with such luminaries as Dr. Maya Angelou, Karen Armstrong, Marianne Williamson, Adyashanti, Mark Nepo, Wayne Dyer, Gabrielle Bernstein, Don Miguel Ruiz, Tracey Jackson, Shaka Senghor, Bryan Stevenson and Michael Singer to discover what it means to truly forgive and the steps we all can take to find personal freedom. These interviews with talented writers, speakers and thought leaders are excerpted from her Emmy Award-winning show Super Soul Sunday. You can also find this compilation and other insightful conversations, in Oprah’s New York Times best-selling book The Wisdom of Sundays.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us start right now, for so many people searching for peace and purpose. The most debilitating source of their pain has been the struggle to forgive. Having experienced the tramp of child abuse in personal betrayals at different points of my life. I have great compassion for anyone, basing what might seem like an insurmountable hurdle. The journey to release all grudges, too, will Who the quest for revenge and to lead- go up the fantasy of what might have been is one of the most difficult spiritual challenges we will ever face. But I promise you it is also the most rewarding because The other side of forgiveness is freedom.
There was a time when I believed the active forgiveness meant setting the offender and, by doing so condoning the act and understand that the true purpose of forgiveness, is to stop allowing what ever that person did to affect how I live my life now. They began to see a different path for myself after an expert on the upper Winfrey Show doctor Gerald G G M pulse shared his definition. He said forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. Those words gave me goosebumps, then, and now this was transcendent moment for me, bigger than he kind of our ha I love this idea so much. I adopted it as my personal mantra accepting this prince.
As spiritual law took me the next level of living, my own best life, and if you want Priscilla Sunday. You know oh, that I continue to share it regularly. In return the life experiences shared with me unto Purcell Sunday have allowed me to go deeper and expand further into how forgiveness functions. My hope is that you too will you. The wisdom in this chapter to excavate where you need to forgive when vessels author and spiritual teacher beyond bans on join me. on the show, I told her that I keep the lesson in forgiveness that you shared with me in a little book of quotes, I've collected over the years you can accept or reject The way you are treated by other people, she says, but till you heal the wounds of your past. You will continue to bleed you can
Bandage the bleeding, with food with alcohol, with drugs with work with cigarette with sex, but eventually it, will be through and stay in your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds. Stick your hands inside pull out the core of the pain. that is holding you in your past the memories and make peace with them. big so clearly to me, pushing against the need to forgive is like Spain, poison in your veins surrender to the hurt, loss, resentment and disappointment accept the truth. It did happen and now it's done.
make a decision to meet the pain as it rises within you and allow it to pass right through give yours Permission to let go of the past and step out of your history, into the now, forgive. and set yourself free. We start with the current Armstrong. You ve said in our perilously divided world. Compassion is in our best interests. Yes, we can't go on like this. Are we can't afford to go on treating other peoples in the way we have done for short term? Go it's not working, it's not working, not working, and if we want is a viable world, it means we have to listen to one another and respect one another. Otherwise, the global world we ve created with the weaponry we ve created. We conservation
issues. So what you talk about in the twelve steps to a compassionate life, ultimately we're not able to forgive our enemies and ultimate. We are not able to see others as ourselves. The world as we know it is not viable, is not viable. If I just come back to this point about forgiveness, sometimes we give other people, but we ve often do, I understand that we ourselves are at fault. It takes two to tango. Bad situation has come about in personal life, because two people are doing the right thing right and so that its not just a question of giving up but loving and is not when Jesus said that he did not mean affection or tenderness. We debased the word love in acknowledging it. Oh, I love ice cream. Didn't you love that movie? I now we debases the right turn in the ancient world. Leviticus as love your neighbour, and the word
was used in international treaties to kings, who may have been enemies promised that they would love each other. But that didn't mean that they would fall into one another's arms and become best friends, but that they would look out for one another's best interests and also understanding that pain the pain that lies behind a lot of this, its hardened into rage, and this something that no society can safely ignore true with countries in communities and its true and our own lives is personally was what is true here is also true as there are. We cannot not understanding and other persons pain. That pain turns into rage, and we see it all around us in our own families. Yes, in our own families- and we cannot in stay and integrity expect other so called enemies to be more tolerant and compare
but if we ourselves give way to unexamined prejudice or bigotry, we have to work on our selves first and try being and light to the people we meet every day and make their lives easier. That is our job in life, and we must develop a more global outlook so that we treat respect all others as well wished to be respected. This is Marianne Williamson. I would say what I say to myself every day, which is ok, who have you not forgiven. Who are you holding the course America says you can have a grievance or a miracle? You cannot have both. So if I'm thinking with an attack thought towards someone that means my heart as blocked and there
not suffering, I'm suffering because miracles, the ideas that the universe is both self, organizing and self correcting miracles occur. Naturally, expressions of love and how do you define a miracle? A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love. So as long as, My heart is open and love. That's whatever supposed to is like open, but if my heart is shut, then I'm deflecting the miracle that would otherwise be happening. So when you say what what I say to people once again, ok, who am I holding a grudge where my I holding a grudge? Where am I not giving cuz only what I'm not giving can be lacking in any situation? Where am my showing up with attitude where my showing up with unkindness? Who am I holding something again, I'm only here to love? I'm lonely here to forgive, and so what I ve learned is what everybody else learns, which Life has presented me with the perfect lessons to hold my muscles now. Will you from audio shanty everything's,
to teach you something that everything you blame you stuck with glass. It wish it well wish it its own freedom and it be very powerful way that it will not come back to you if you dont, forgive it. If you, blast said if you wish it well, the energy will just be magnetically drawn back to you, because it's looking for a resolution all negative energy that we have inherited it's their causes. Looking for resolution is so powerful. Now doktor Maya Angelo. It's a man of the greatest gives you can be up to yourself. Trigger figure of everybody. Does forgive it
I mean man, do we as the creator? Yes to forgive yes, stupid is action, yes, cruel is mean. I did thing and day God. Forgive me. Forgive me or people say I'm not perfect. Yet this is so then you forgive and it we leaves you. You are relieved of we met burden of resentment. You really are lighter. You feel later it is true that drop it. Then you are free to do other things to have some ambition answer because forgiveness, I know you often say: love liberates us, but actually forgiveness does also
It is the big you can't forgive without loving, yes, and I don't mean sentimentality atto mean much, I mean having enough courage to stamp out and say Africa give I'm finished with it. I had to get to a place where acted. Forgive the man who had raped me when I was seven years old, I had to get there and that was a matter of incredible mental gymnastics, and then I had to think of what I had done to other people and see how I'd been forgiven. Whatever I've done, I've been forgiven and I have to get at least to a place rag and for don't, yet, and I will now put myself in a situation where they can be done to me again. But I understand more of this conversation in just a moment
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the moment when more than one thing is true, and so accountability is always true. People are accountable for what we do to each other S, and we do hurried other, and sometimes we don't own that, and that is even hurts further and also every experience we have revealed to us, a word in the language of our own wisdom that is so darn good. I mean the right to which we are here to discover and experience at a time. A word every experience of real to us. Every experience that were given reveals to us word in the language of our own wisdom, which only we can start learn, and when we resist that we can understand our experience, we can understand.
other it's interesting. The word suffer literally means to feel keenly to feel keenly well to no great joy. You have to feel keenly yes, so both ways we need to You keenly live deeply in our own humanity in order to two no joy and to get through suffering Wayne dire. I grew up in a there is a foster homes in orphanages and, as you know, my father walked out on us. Yes, he just abandon us. He never paid any support. He just had three boys. My mother had three boys under the age of four before she was twenty three years old and she was this left was a depression. I was born at nineteen, forty, my brothers, one and thirty, eight and thirty six and I carried around deep anger and deep resentment and deep hatred. I dreamt rainy night rage,
It's a good word, because at night I would wake up and I would be sweating and I would meet him in a bar someplace and I would be hitting cuz. He was an alcoholic, but I never was able to find him. I tried to find him tried to find it ended up in Biloxi, Mississippi at his grave, through a series of just the most bizarre circle answers network coincident as it s exactly and I was sent. I was sent to get rid of this rage inside of me because I knew that I came here to do something great. I knew that I knew that when I was a little boy I knew I could talk kids out of being upset at what was going on in the orphanage, for example, when everybody would show up, they always say: where's way go get them, and I whoever it was a little girl, would be crying and I'd say this is the greatest places. there's no parents, you're gonna, love this place and that's what I would just try to take the attention off of their anger in their fear and wild or so I. We knew this. So I get to my father's grave.
I didn't even know he was dead up until just a few months before, and his body had been ship there and when I went to the grave and I stood there at his gray. I finally said from this moment on: I send you love from this moment on. I will no longer have any resentment or hatred or bitterness towards you at all. I never dreamt this man again, I feel his presence very very frequently from that moment on I quit drinking alcohol was no longer part of my life. I lost the weight that I was asked. I changed my diet around the right people began to show up in my life, and it was all about forgiveness. Operate was just about. Mark TWAIN said that forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it, and I understood it. Finally, I finally got that Gabrielle Bernstein, I forgive as often as possible. I think forgiveness is the bedrock of a spiritual.
and I really believe that we can choose in with forgiveness- I say we got a practice, the effort every given moment and so for the practice of organs. We return back to that centre place where turned back to love done. We go Ruiz forgiveness is the most important thing you can do. What you are saying is: forgive meaning let it go. You not be tied to the past for good does not mean you have to accept that. Not that to me, and now it's ok, you don't have to talk about it and you will forgive because you launch of cell so much that you don't want to give her pinch of self, for whatever happened, whatever happened eastern and can that be changed? Yes, then we have said that and keep going with our life, Tracy Jackson and Paul Williams, We spend so much time defending our mistakes.
Hiding from our mistakes, making excuses from our mistakes and Just looking at him on going well, this is me this is me. This is my stake. I'm going to clean up my side of the street and we do something. I call the emotional sharper. We carry around so much baggage of all the hood of everyday life and we carry in IRAN and its heavy and we unloaded the others which is completely unfair mistake is our best teacher and that's it you just take em and I'm not a bad person. I made a mistake and I learned a lesson and that's a good day. Shaka soon corps, forgiveness is complete. That sentence forgiveness is for yourself. Angers that stand in the way of your grown. As I am aware able to forgive yourself, that's devilmoss, myself and release, and the little boy who is war would goodness has been the hardest.
Part of my journey is forgive myself about the murder benefit It must have been a lot of stuff, but that power is better. No, you in the book. You wait, you're victim David, a letter, and you did that, for you wanted to say I wanted to say that I am sorry I did TAT night. made a decision, and I want to say to myself that I made a decision decision. Did you make that decision maker? The sooner than myself responsible redemption is being given a second chance to prove who you are authentically as humans were cable will make an importer says, but were fully capable of moving the animals and is something meaningful what our lives, despite their
and not be held hostage by think about There were often when I encounter obstacles and have all others It was a fair chance to just be a human, and some meat ass work redemption represents is like this can be a fresh out of your home, Bryant Stevenson. How has the lives of your client, informed your own humanity. Its taught me that mercy is not something we give to people because they deserve it. Compassion is not something we offered to people because their owed its what we do, because it's the way we find mercy for ourselves. You can't get mercy. Unless you give it, you can't receive compassion unless you give it made me want to be merciful and compassion, maybe want to understand the people who are unhappy with me who are hostile to me, who sometimes act as if they hate me. They used to get death threats and bomb threats.
And it made me not want to believe that the people behind those threats are just enemies or haters or bigots. It made me recognise that they're, like my clients, they need someone who get past. What's created this burden, this fear this anger. This really fear is really a sphere absolutely and when you're afraid Do things that you wouldn't do that are just right and it's easy to you now be in church and talk about forgiveness ends. suddenly trees, meditated high time about forgiveness, it's a lot harder when you have to actively engage with somebody who you feel is not like you exactly and find that thread. That right is redemption, though possible, for everybody think I do. I think we have to believe that every person can get to have better. Please. I have some client about whom I can say this person will likely never be able to get released. They ve been compromise and ways
but that's not going to be an option, but I still believe that redemption is possible. I've never met anybody about whom I could say this person is beyond hope beyond redemption and I've seen I created moment, sometimes small moments with people who have been eighty terribly treated that feel like hope. That feel like life, that even feel like love, and that makes me think that we should accept the redemption is something we have to seek for everyone. Would you define mercy? Mercy is emerging like a mirror. I think That is why you gave to others and with the hope that it will come back to you. It's what you give to people don't deserve. It is what you give to people who have it ask for it. It's what you that's an our hearts. give it to people don't deserve it. That's why it's mercy ass. Yes, yes
That's what we say: Lord have mercy absolute on me. Try absolutely Michael singer. My prayer for the past couple of years, even before I entered the opera show, was a closer walk with. God was a consequence, Orton God now. I think one was praying that prayer. I thought that it was going to be walking through the lilies of would be lost Rose's going through the garden. You know cuz. You think that that's what it's going to be, and sometimes it's not you must die to be reborn. You must die to be reborn and means you must be willing to let go of your personal self, of your psychological cell, of the complaining voice, your identity and all that you are a major blah blah blah
In order to be who you are, you must be one leg of who you think you're, that's, what's meant by a must die to be reborn and as you let them go and he will help pull it out right and so use spiritually and an end. You will see that will help you more than anyone. Petitions anything you meditate, so that you have the centre. So you can let go of life is doing. The real growth is letting go. I'm over Winfrey and you ve been distinct, supersede conversations the you can super soul on Instagram, twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet go to apple podcast and subscribe wait and review this podcast join me next week for their supersede conversation. Thank you for listening.
Transcript generated on 2021-01-13.