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Salma Hayek Pinault: Making Peace with Yourself

2018-03-12 | 🔗

In her interview with Oprah at Harlem's famed Apollo Theater, activist, producer and Oscar-nominated actress Salma Hayek Pinault reveals why she published her personal essay in The New York Times titled "Harvey Weinstein Is My Monster Too." Salma opens up about the emotional abuse she suffered during the making of her Oscar-winning film, "Frida,"and other sexual harassment she has endured during her life. Salma also discusses her spiritual approach to aging, her commitment of 20-plus years to fight for women's rights, and her struggle with depression. Salma says, "The mystery of life, to me, is the relationship with you and you. As long as you need others to feel comfortable, you will always suffer from anxiety. You are alone in life, and it's a beautiful place to be if you make peace with yourself." In this special-edition podcast, you'll hear Oprah and Salma's full interview, featuring more than 15 minutes of bonus content not included in Part 1 of the OWN special "Oprah at the Apollo."

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I'm over Winfrey, welcome to supersede conversations the podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gives you can give yourself is time taking time to be more fully present, your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now. Hello. Everybody. I leave So far so good to see you again to see you to know what is interesting. As I was saying to the audience, you actually have been fighting for women before the whole me to movement before
Time's up, you ve been doing it in your own way. You ve been doing it internally and externally for over twenty years, and so what was the thunderbolt moment for you that cause you to say? I must stand up number one for myself and also do that for other women out of women's rights become a calling. I think that, just by observing the situation of the world, not just one country and noticing that always we had it harder and we really did have it harder, and I think the one thing that move me the most was the thought of mothers the how hard it is to be a mother and have cheating
then and have less opportunities and the constantly in Georgia and its not only see road, so I started with children and mothers, and then I became really passionate about domestic violence, because I think this is where everything starts. This cycle of violence in the world starts at home and it is also a reflection of what's happening outside in the world. When Women cannot feel safe at home. You know when the children cannot feel safe at home, but when they take violence as the normality, even if it's very painful deep inside of them, it becomes normally
So when they go out in the world, they think that violence is a way for resolving problems or expressing anger, and then it starts a ripple effect most of the people that have experienced a home where they drew up with violence. They repeat this cycle, so I thought one way to change the world was to check the mentality of what is ok and it's not ok inside a house, and although the law, of course supposedly says it's, not ok, When a lot of women went to reported, ignore
today, where it nor your door made on my word thing these or that, and and sometimes they had no support, also from their own families, because they already think it's normal. What we have seen how the Harvey Weinstein's scandal has actually allowed this conversation about violence against women. Sexual harassment against women in particular, become the catalyst for bringing those issues to the forefront. What do you think happens that this became the tipping point? Why was this the right time for a tipping point have very loaded question yeah. We could do the whole thing on this because you ve very important. Yes, I think that
Sometimes we underestimate our efforts everybody suffered and the power that it has for change. The only reason that this is working right now, it's not only because the women we spoke out, but it's also because everybody listen and I think that's what happens is that we start making changes and we don't see the results are we thinking that change is not happening. Humans are slow to change, but this is something we through the walls. Yes, at its the thing we fear the most, because we want to control the change we want. We say we want change as long as I know. What is the result where, when it's not that change, if you can see the result you are operating with who you are today? We have to.
Brave and excited about the unknown result of the change. By putting the effort into the right little things we do every day and then we have to trust that if the little things to do every day are morally correct, then the change- you may not see it, but it will happen and you can never give up on it, because all these efforts of every single one of you of everyone they buy lop until there is an explosion. Ok, so let's talk about the explosion. It's interesting. I was onset with Reese Witherspoon, whose then spoken out in this part of the Times movement. Some other actresses who haven't spoken out, so I won't say who they were, and this was like two days after the Arby's scandal had broken and the New York Times, and everyone, including Greece, have said this to her was act.
Like. I have seen some of my girls at my school. Behave, who are suffering from PTSD every. I was acting like they were afraid. And that they were having a conversation I remember releasing all that's just so upsetting and every time and southern dimensions is name start tearing up in every time. I hear someone else speak. It just cause me to be have said, and I haven't slept in today's someone else said so I said: do you guys are suffering from PTSD? Did something happened to you. Nobody said anything at the time, so what I realize was happening is that the Harvey scandal triggered within a lot of other people who had experienced sexual violation, sexual
assessment from other people. It triggered it even though it had not come from Harvey, but for you who had had a previous experience of violation by Harvey Wine, seeing what did it trigger in you when you first heard about the scandal, they contact me to be a part of the first story, a story New York Times than it already by these contact. It was always turmoil so already I started trying when they ask me, I ended up not doing it and use it crying, why I said it was because of the same thing you Jesse yes and I ended up not doing it, and then I felt ashamed that I was a coward and bring working you'd. All supporting women for two decades I didn't come up. I was a coward. I thought of all these different things, including a child and I want to, but I was
so you know what was the one thing I was the most a shame because shame it's a cyclist shame are voicing misery. Another Schuman another shape. My version that I was pretending. Everything was okay, so. I had been around Harvey, acting like everything. It's ok and I didn't tell my horsemen I only saw him all he's such a boy. You were such a bully, but by now highway She had a lot of respect for me through the years I ended up. Turning that that man looked at me and he had a lot of respect. I earned it with blood, but he did So I was able to lead the gall and move on and so you are able to let go of having feeling violated or having been violated by him before you feel comfortable discussing with the violation was out here. Yeah you can. I people
talking about so tell us whenever raped me, what the article on them, one of the most difficult things about writing their article is that I have a book. It was not one or two occasions: it was five years because for the people who have not read the article is that he owned my project that I had already been developing or Frida he bought it was
nice. There was no signs of predatory behaviour. He signed me to do all their movies with him, and I thought this was the chance. Oh, my god, because I hadn't really struggle and nobody believed in me. Nobody thought much of me and this guy was very important reading. I thought I saw my artistic value, and so now he owned me and during five years you wanna do the movie. So in five years there were a lot of different things number one. He told me I'm going to kill you and I didn't write these India article, but he said I am going to break the need gaps of that the sea word He called the sea word communist seaward one. You know your Mexican, you don't even know what what that really means, how the current tvs, I have to say how different it is.
And the b were on the oil from the be worth p word. You know they don't even know what the p word is this same meaning ass, they say no or no vote with their feet means your leg like legacy. Nobody in somebody who's, not strong chicken yeah. What with the sea ward, then it means you're, like the we were know. I definitely no now see words. You are only way worse than the b, where I know what I knew I'm anyway, I didn't care about the sea. Where give on my knees, I care about my knees.
Were you want and need to Lucy? I mean all the new nor the message that these than it was a constant and then, when you wouldn't happen? I don't want to go into the details now, because I don't want to go into the details. I don't want to go into the details because we have more important things to talk about we have to make sure that we don't get distracted with with the idea that these details, because I am not going to miss this opportunity, but I was the press. I was paranoid. I lived in fear. I try to get out. I couldn't get out. Every woman, that's been in a similar situation that I can guarantee using our authority, not just here or of the work on their stands at once. You enter these dynamics. It's really really hard to you don't,
see the way out that always easy way out. They fear the anger, the humiliation blurs your site. What do you see now that you could have done differently, then, because I feel now that women speaking out has given other women in other parts of the world and other businesses. A feeling of I can say something I didn't know they got anything different. I am actually very proud of how I handled through our yes, because the only decent thing, maybe I could have said something but nobody would have heard you then known, please that he was really very good at what he did and never was furious at me cuz. I need never told her something, and then I told her. I was running and I said he made the best more ways. If I tell you, if I tell you over Rodriguez, they from business dealings with him he's not doing the same thing
you guys and then a ruin, your business opportunity. I didn't know there were so many women that he was the I've. I thought I was the only one: that's what every good predator does yeah what every good predator doesn't what's interesting in the experience I was having with the actors on that couple of days after that's what I thought. Oh you guys are we the way I've seen. Molested children behave, molested children hold the secret, hold the secret hold the secret because you think you're, the only one its ever happen to and part of the triggering part of the trauma, the peat ts D that comes up. Is not just the guilt I held it. I didn't tell you vital, but I'm not the only one you mean I could have spoken up and I could have had you in you and you and you who also we're going through this saying. I think it's important that we see today is because their work with a lot of different kinds of.
You did what you could do ass high, not not everybody. We speak out now. It's really card because there's other women that cars that are out of place where they can then they have, but you have to move away, you know, and so whether Europe Times called you, you said you that you are ready to do it. It cause you to cry, didn't think bout it in a different way. You went through all the trauma. When did you know you were gonna, write the essay and that the essay was the best way for the New York Times when he came out I was a shame that I didn't do speak up. When so many women came out. This is a strange sensation. I feel that all the pain that I
that was so much at such important part and by the way he was not the first time he was not the first time. That's why I could handle him better and an undeniable say these, because it my head someone. I was very strong in front of him and I was might how I sneaked my way out, but he didn't see me. Maybe that's why I didn't get rape. Also he eyes too. He didn't seem ever I handled it really when, but now that I saw there were so many- and this is maybe they're wrong, feeling to have, but I want to be honest, I felt, like my pain, was so small because there were so many that also had the same bang. But for me was so big but wings everybody said the saying you have. The need for a moment what you say. But what about how? Much I sulphur everybody, this the same, then incidents of earth- you know
There is a moment, and I think its human and I was like when there's no point for me to talk, because it just happens to everyone. You know, and I felt that by itself it was just my only two drama. Well, we come together, put the drama sighed Anne you night with each other, then is not about drama. It's not about paying its about evolution, it's about becoming part of something that moves powerfully and that can make them big change happen. I just want to say that you said in your essay. You listed all the times you had to say no to Harvey wine. Seen sexual advances. You wrote no to me taking a shower with him. No to letting the watch me take a shower
no delighting him give me massage, no deleting a naked friend of his giving assize. No deleting give me oral sex note getting make it with another woman. No, no! No! No! I think it's hard, sometimes for people who work outside of Hollywood in the media to understand how women they perceive like yourself to be rich and famous and gorgeous could be subjected to assault like this. Is it hard for you to imagine? I had struggle with a thought before I was then in every mail. He wasn't the first one new home now, but she was the only one for five years.
He was the only one for five years, so the other person has that person. I call them now fallen trees as that person been named or been out in the other person. Not all things, and not only in Hollywood, is not about I've. I've had this problem, since I was very little people. Don't don't talk about two months when, when they think somebody's attractive people say oh, she had easy either the attractive women is never beyond their dog because there are tracked it, but we are really really good subjects for for rape and by elation and That can sometimes attack from other women. I mean I'm not complaining. I understood, I understand exactly what you're saying barter, that it comes with some issues too.
And so would you say from a very young age, you had to learn how to say no and keep the assaulters away. Yes, yes, it is full of contradictions, because we are told you have to read the virgin. Mary. But you have to do what I say when I say: ok, you, you have to be attractive, but you cannot be too attractive because then you are telling me that I can do whatever I want with you. What the
Why am I sometimes wonder the legal looking for me, but not looking for the other ones, but don't go mad. Looking like that, but dont look toward Joe. It's a learning to manage it, although you are aware that this is why loved this conversation, you you're, obviously very beautiful woman and you ve been beautiful. You know your whole life and most women, who are beautiful, don't admit that they are or that that also Jus, somehow large, Scarlett Johansson, that Bryce gives you some power but comes with a price, and then they expected to continue the look beautiful. The rest of your life, which comes with
for some rash of Russia, but you know what it is the point how to handle it. I'm gonna tell you what s homes when you say screw you, I am going to discover who I am who you want me to be- and I will maybe mingle in those things that are supposed to here and there, but I am going to be aware. Every Sakhalin, where are my here, ask yourself this question every day: what is your name a candle? Elisa when you're doing with your kids, when somebody is selling you, you should have done something different. Will you try so far to get the job right? Get that when you're lost in this present the gales Ai Weiwei Way, where are my worry Sally? So what does the least want? We don't even asked this question. We just went to survive the edges, the most important question. What do I really want jazz
Yes, what do I really want yeah? So you learn to say no early, I know to say no, I learn to use their madness yeah, but when you were doing this to tell a story when you were doing that story, it was one of the most. I remember anything on the upper shell about it. You were so passionate about. If you put your heart into it, you had given everything you had to make that come into to fruition, and so was there a part of you it felt like it was necessary to take whatever you needed to take to get that done. This was not to me. It was not it was a calling you there's something different yeah. I gotta. I really knew
wanna tell you had a lot of strange signs, also that I had to get these dawn than it was an important spiritual journey for me that I had a contract with this story, somehow From before I was an actress, so I was very, very driven and also because was so strong. It gave me the these insane. Currently, when everybody said your crises, never gonna happen that somehow gonna happen, because there was something magical about it, but also I would I was not willing to do anything for it. Because when you have a calling, you know it's supposed to happen. It the postal crap and what you can not get lost in the way of your own folly.
You can not only of your life. You can not lose yourself, so it was the constant struggle not get lost in the way of your own calling. Yes, I will stay. You yeah, to keep your brains imposed and that I struggled with the brush on also is not just I struggle but he was doing, gave me the depression and did the breast, he doesn't want to make you do anything and that to struggle with that they want to because they did their breath. You feel so small. You feel so small You feel like you're behind a day when somebody is on top of you call time annual power. Listen, you can so and I was trying to do something so big that nobody believed in on top of already feelings. What because I don't What did he made sure? Because the abusive behaviour is that the first thing they do is destroy your confidence, yeah yeah, that's the first thing
Well, women around the world took to social media to share their support for you once you wrote that up at peace for the New York Times, a woman named Alison posted Selma High in New York Times peace movement. Your tears, we are done apologizing. Someone on Twitter said some. A hike is not only changing the perception of women but changing the world. How does it feel to hear that? once you came forward, I once I came forward. I hid in the raven think of your hearing. It that's what women, because I felt such ass I was staring took me mourns. You ask me why, in their say, I want two to tell my story was: was writing it where's was writing of healing and cathartic. For yes, yes, but took me months, grey areas. Every time I would take up that ban, because I don't know you build a machine, I am
I am all for with the with the things with the but I don't wanna picture for my. Instead, Ok, we'll get that will make sure that happens, so you started writing it. So, after after in your time, Spalding, you said, I can't- Nor did he told me, I guess your while. Yes, no, yes, no, ok, I'm Do it I would start no, I'm not going to do it. Nobody cares about what I have to say already. Other people say is. That was the other thing. That was the next step and finally because there was something I felt nobody had talked about, which was. It was not only the abuse, the sexual harassment it's the on the mining, the abuse. Of being constantly under minded because we're women- and this was important because it was it so apace
you say women need to stop apologizing. Why is that one of the keys to healing this trauma I gotta short? Sometimes women need to apologize to them. They have to have this moment not to apologize to forgive the sword to forgive themselves when you forgive yourself, you stop apologizing. For it's important to take responsibility. Also of the things we do. Others it's important, but we have to stop apologizing for being attacked and we must move into a place where you can actually have a common,
station. It is important to release the anger. I dont want us to go from victims too angry. I don't want to our victimization to be our motor and then our anger to be our motor. That doesn't mean that will not I I am, Short Maxie can arab angry woman. I know, how to channel that Hungary and transform it so that it does in Burma sides and I can see a head and I can use that energy transforming the motor there is broad dont. Think of anger is not adopted. We have heard some people call those needs to movement a moment in saying it's a moment. I think that's because we live in a world where the new cycle changes in our attention,
Span changes and people feel like ok, so now the women are having their moment. How do you ensure this becomes a movement and not a moment? It's gonna be a moment. There's nothing. We can do to stop it, because it's about changing the collective conscience and what I said is the change was not only done people who spoke with by the people who leaves, and especially the ones that lesson listened and didn't, believe it didn't think it was right where uncomfortable they still had to stop and think about it. For a second, we have become aware of something, There is a lot of man that really didn't. Even now, there was something wrong with it
that really is now there are confused. Oh my god. What am I? How? What can I say? One cannot say they're all in a panic, I feel for some of them, but it's a beautiful thing because they are thinking there taking the moment to taken towards their Asia. What would be the feeling of. The other person, and these makes a change of who they are ass, a man because they are stopping to think and it's a positive thing anyway, use lies it not only it's not a moment. It is a moment in time that has been calling for. We ve been working for these. For centuries. Our moment came and life would never be the same, but also its very exciting.
Other reasons, I will tell you quite calmly why it really proves that change can happen because we are not patient with change like we talked about beyond. It gives me hope that we can change in other ways and it is there important that we don't become cynical about our little changes, that we acknowledge our little changes, every single person changes and also as a as a community that we acknowledge them and that we don't lose hope that it will continue. I think these also happen now, because we are so frustrated with the government getting away with incredible things than all the lying all the covering and needs it did something both in this case. I think.
People were for Austrian off that set no. What is these lie have to lie after lie because the constant lying it's a cynical manipulation of our ignorance and our at the door where Sarcoma final closure has this allowed. I heard you speak before about the importance of honour and conviction in your life. So has this movement, your work with speaking out for yourself and being inclusive of other women has given you a greater sense of conviction and how important is conviction condition is, is very very important because you are alone in reality You are alone in life and it's a beautiful place to be a few make peace with yourself.
You have a good relationship with yourself, there's so much Fine, we have so many possibilities. We actually don't spend enough time with ourselves and many times we fall into the trap to do things so that other people have a perception of. We are when you do things with conviction. Even failure is very bearable, we're all afraid of failure. Believe you and trying to impress someone else will do it for others or one? Then it's terrible. They know it wasn't even really maybe what you wanted to do, but with you fail with conviction, even that is there and at the end of the day you can lie, and you know yes, your way through lie, but what kind of alone. One way or another: we have to make peace with these yoke
you can have a load of love, but the meat three of life to me is the relationship with you and you As long as you need the others to feel comfortable, you will, always over four months is cheap and conviction is. Is that place where? Even if you make a mistake, you add these? Why you make that mistake? I missed.
Sometimes I have the greatest geese that you can sell my eye. I move ruined free and you ve been listening to supersede conversations the plug cast. You can follow super soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook if you have again good apple pie and subscribe weight and review. This Punkahs join me next week for another super soul. Conversation. Thank you for listening.
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-02.