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Tim Storey: How Do You Turn a Setback into a Comeback?

2018-04-11 | 🔗

Oprah sits down with Tim Storey, the acclaimed author, motivational speaker, ordained minister and life adviser, to talk about finding deeper meaning in your life and how to transform a setback into a comeback at any age. Tim has helped guide people, including many celebrities, through some of life's most difficult circumstances, including cancer, drug addiction, depression and divorce. He reveals how to move forward when your situation seems insurmountable. Tim also discusses the power of manifesting dreams and how so many of us have the desire to live our dreams yet haven't learned the strategies for doing so.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I'm over Winfrey welcome to supersede conversations the pod cast. I believe that one The most valuable gives you can give yourself is time, taking time to be more fully present, your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us start right now, Tim story is an ordain minister who is shared his inspiring words and seventy different countries he's written nine books, including his most recent, come back and beyond. He's. Also, a motivational speaker in like coaches work with Quincy Jones, Stevie, wonder robber down
junior Congo, West and many others well, I love every word of this book. It just feels like I should have an running on a tank in my brain all the time. So congratulations. Thank you very much. How did you come to this to understand that we all have setbacks, but that there is always a come back for all of us. You know what I was a little guy, my life other passed away. When I was ten and before that I had so much energy enjoy as plain baseball's a dancer and then to have here. My mother crying because of my father passing all the sudden. I went from a rhythm of life, a glide skip. My step and then I was in the middle of a of a setback at ten yeah and- and I saw that my siblings, they kind of got stuck right.
We are in the end, they began to medicate themselves. Rather than find ways to solve the dilemma, so you knew it ten that you were in a setback. Yes, but could you call it that? Were you like of clinically depressed is a little kid I didn't have a name for it, language, where I just knew that everything changed, because there was a lot of humour in our house and then all of a sudden, the rhythm of that household was gone. Because I heard sounds from my mother's room that I'd never heard before, and that was crying and everything felt like it was out of sync. rhythm. I love the way. You say the rhythm of the house, because you know when you're that age, if you were pretty attuned, obviously you were, you can actually, since the vibration of the of the household,
true yeah, and so you use that setback literally. Yes, have not just a come back, but be able to use that to empower other people, yes to see themselves differently, when you feel the sting of a setback, whether be divorce or abuse there, that there is a feeling too almost assent to it and everything kind of elvers you, yes, I ve covered me because now, even if you went to school on a day when your parents posed to show up now, my father was not there. So there was at void- and I that my vote was in trouble and I didn't know what to do at ten, but then I begin to figure out what to do in my twenties that I had to somehow be a leader. Obviously you deal with all kinds of peace. Wealthy people famous people, people who are not is
our common denominator in that experience of getting stuck, It doesn't matter who you are. I think I think so and in part of it is I've never been here before so when they fall down. They don't know but to do to get back up so they sit in their said back and then they settle in their setback because they do not trained and have the tools to get back and they try to try to live from the past and have the path. Define whatever is going on now, true yeah so there living in the shame and the guilt of what they ve been through, and as you know, religion can almost do that to you, if you're, not careful, because there's so much talk about failure and in sin and mistakes that you can keep going back to what you did and you can believe that that's what God wanted, cuz that I weigh it happened, yeah exactly yeah, and so a comeback is not a go back. I can't
back and fix things, and I made so many people like that that between about moment, that's a big, hey, let's take a breath there, a comeback is not a go back, which is what most people try to do. You try to go. Yeah and try to make it like it was and try to think The way was given I'm on an airplane and I'm talking to a gentleman from Dallas. He tells me as wealthy and if you about all what things think is done- and he says you know my my daddy
my daddy. My data said were: how old is your father? Could man seemed about seventy himself? He said my my daddy's has passed away and he was trying to prove to his father that he was worthy, but his father had passed and he's now seventy and he was seventy already. So he was trying to fix something, even though his father had passed to prove something, and so many people are there. You know they ve been through something and now they're gonna go back and fix it, but you cannot do that cause Isn't it true him that most people spend the time like, for example, you go through a bad relationship, spend so much time blank. Blaming yourself and worthy of further and why
I didn't. I see it and how could this happen to me and saw that help people get stuck right, correct, yeah and it's a is a phrase that others have used. We nurses kherson rehearse it alot of people late at night. They are nursing their problem k cursing it. Why did happen and then, as we know, rehearsing it over and over and over again yeah, but depressing you say is in come back and beyond. Is that the first thing that I do, and Respiratory teacher says this year: a cartel e, especially you ve, got to accept the now exactly see accepted, and you take an inventory. You say Kate, I was there now I'm here.
yeah. You must first recognise your in the setback. Yes, I've lost my job. I've lost my marriage of whatever is going on. I thought I was gonna get this promotion. I thought whatever this setback is yes acceptances. First right tonight have choices, so you you in a setback. I accept it and then you have an exemplary, doesn't mean I like it I didn't mean you like, I think, a lot of people and I think a lot of people think well, if accepted. That means. I'm thinking, I'm saying it's. Ok, that's a good point. They almost don't want to sign for the package. That's her if you look around the package's air, the package's right there, yeah, ok, so quite Then, when we get a lot, our way in a setback, one of them. Is you describe, it is, and I see this all the time as you do as we all do that people have lost their shout, I think you call it. I think we need to get our shout back or turn up the volume yet on our
Ives. And yes you don't you see that the US is United dullness I'd people have most people, you know when we were kids yeah, there's a shout right. Yeah preparatory school is coming in and out of the door ear shouting and that parents never going to his room and say turn of volume. They wish in the class which, because kids there's a volume to life. But the more we get challenged and disappointed this appeal, man is an amazing thing. The scripture say that disappointment can make you heartsick. Well, that's bad, because the heart is a centre at your core. Joy comes from the heart peace faith. So when you're disappointed in your heart is sick,.
You could take away your shout so life can when asked why shout at EU back the shabby yes, and so with my father passing that could not the shout enemy and I could have stay that way or someone who has been in a car accident. Someone who started a business and it didn't work or someone who thought you know certain, we're gonna happen. The lives now they're disappointed, but there are ways to get your shout back yeah when life tries to take me down to whisper to shout on purpose, just intentionally shout sometimes I M driving on the freeway and I'll just.
just think about things that are going right. So is not always a verbal shout. It's it's an inward shout of of choosing to say hey. This is some the shout about I'm still alive in allowed people like to complain about the aid, I'm already fifty to one side, what do you think? That's the shout about yeah, so we could. We could take and have a little just a shout moment every day and just remember, thank God, we're. still alive so you realize it you're you're calling was be able to help people literally find their own call it. Yes, I feel, like I'm, called to inspire that you know their description. The Bible, says, live a life worthy of your calling. to live. A life means to be alive in your life, most people Are not alive in the life today
moment be alive in your life something. You say that really struck me on page to eleven. This book and you know, I used the Oprah for years this platform speaking arrive the country- and this is one of the things I think people most don't understand- that your life isn't about a big break its about one. Significant life transforming step at a time
because often you know when you speak about calling people lids Zack, I dont know what it is I am supposed to do and how do you get people to see and recognise this major treatable moment that your life isn't about the big break its about one, significant life, transforming step at a time you teach us as well. Today's decisions are tomorrow's realities for you to get to worry. You are today. It was one step at a time, so it's a daily decision that creates my realities of tomorrow, whether it be I'm gonna, get up an exercise in how many,
get up and do yoga I'm going to get up and meditate. So it's a step by step process. So when people say to you like, I don't know what my purpose is R. I don't really know why. I'm here, I'm trying to figure that out your response is in that case, I think that people need to stop look and listen. have become human doings rather than human beings. we need to slow down to the speed of life. And if you will slow down and stop looking, listen a dream that inside you is speaking. Your dream has a voice. So even How is little little Timmy story running around. You know first started from Compton. California, then, to another part of LOS Angeles. My dream was speaking to me because it has a voice, so stopping looking and listening to what God is saying so there are
consider calling you, because I think that they have always resided in you. So I believe that God put those in us. It's our colleague, ok, so that's a difference between a good thing in a guide thing right, the God idea. It's something that God put in us, even while we are in our mother's womb, so scripture, the Bible says, while you and your mother's womb, I knew you then there's a scripture in the Bible that says that you are his workmanship. That's a work of art created to do good works that I had already predestined for you, okay, so what you know is there a supreme destiny for everybody, Is there and that Supreme Destiny would be the God thing? Yes, not necessarily the good thing. I believe that in a does it mean that you have to walk there, imperfection you MA
Go to the right, you may go to the left, and then you may show up. There are severe called something. Gonna get there, no matter what I believe that call win, will pull you there it. You may have some delays in denial right, but I believe you are getting back road. We ve all done that. Absolutely ok. Can you also become old away from something? Yes, you can so I say this way you can have the right plan, be the right person have the wrong partners and then you're in trouble. Sometimes you have the right plan, you the right person, but you put the wrong people in your life and they take you off your yellow, brick road. All of us have had friends in our life that kind of took us off that pathway and that's why it so important a fine God idea. Partners who are people who get your dream see if, if you
step out to be over Winfrey there's a lot of people all over the world. There would not be changed the same way, so you stepped out in your God idea, and somebody was waiting for you on the other side. I love that South South, so many treatable moments and see how many can tweet. I love them all. Ok, you are a mighty person in the making and love the choice of word mighty! Yes, because sometimes we don't feel mighty yeah, but we are a mighty person in the making a masterpiece in progress, miracle in motion, although you may have had many mistakes in your past guy. I'd still has a great plan for your future. If you'll do things his way, if you like him, he will mode you into a vessel of honor love that vessel of honor for his purpose.
Yes, he will breathe life into you and change you. I love that a vessel of and I'd never heard that phrase before how and I thought- g I want to live in that space being a vessel of honor. How do we do that? I think part of it is, as we said earlier, is be intruders There I may not be what I wanna be, but think I'm not when I used to be and that you really are miracle in motion, most in his movement, so we're not there. Yet but were in motion at all times, we are all going to recovery and discovery. At the same time, some people stop their lives because I'm in recovery- I just went through all this and I'm in recovery, but you should be in recovery. End discovery. I love, were you say to that?
We should not waste our failures right right. There's out, there's a lesson. every one of those failures, but the great thing about it is that we could fail forward. We could fail forward its not is not final because of these men. How do you know him when you're on the right path. I've only one. No, I believe that there is an innate peace that comes that, even if there's term. All around you there's a piece inside of you. There's there's a piece. It says this is ways posed to be. In other words, you won't be ok. it's you to me that some twenty three that the Lord is your shepherd. You shall not what the word
Want means. You shall not be anxious for anything. So even in even in my dark is times which I face some. I feel that I am not anxious because I feel I truly he's because you there are no matter what Failure is there is that there is the divine hand of the shepherd to yeah. So tell me this, Do you believe that God has an idea for everybody? Yes, I believe two things one you made in his image in his likeness number two you made with his imagination. I love that because I don't want to be someone else, because I've been I've been boy an original? Why do I want to die a copy sob. A maiden his image, Kay, em, all May, with his imagining
Okay. What does that mean to you when you say made in his image? I think people then think. Okay, God looks like us know. What does that mean? Okay, so let's take a an artist. They may imagine something before they paint it right. I believe that God imagines and then creates and speaks a certain life for every single person. You ve been spoken over events volcano and that every body that makes me want to cry really that everybody, who comes has been spoken over. We have and that's why, when somebody devalues you yeah. Say when someone devalues you yeah, you devaluing someone. They got spoke of yeah. but is it it so interesting that in our culture, you speaking of Amerika,
help people listening in other parts of the world, but the american culture. We think that I mean it serves me how kind of celebrity obsessed we are what we ve now become, how many likes you ve got two years on Facebook we ve become. You know how much stuff, you have armies were footage, Amelia Euro, and so the idea is that because you, born and spoken over. Gives you value is something that I think it line? As you know, the words celebrity means to be celebrated right, so young people want to be celebrated, Everybody wants to be celebrated, don't we all? Why don't? We all want to be celebrate, but if you, if you know, as we are saying that you been spoken over by the divine see, then I'm ok being funny or being happy or being,
Corky are being creative are being nerdy. Have you discovered that all pain struggle setback is the same because obviously you work with the law. of famous people, you're famous for you know very well known for having helped Robert Downy, Junior and Leah Coca gives you quote on the on the book in do famous people rich people fall is hard, does it hurt is much they do and the thing about being famous yeah is everything just amplified, yeah, that's how it because it yeah, because you may be having trouble your son, but now it's on the news, your marriage, but now it's on the new so to amplify. But what I would I do it's celebrities is. I say, let's, let's knock out the noise for awhile, let's, let's not listen to the noise and let's deal with the situation,
she's right here, locally cause. If you're, not careful, you'll get dramatic in the midst of the drama, feed drama could come I don't mean I need to participate, so don't get dramatic in the midst of the drama. Sure there's a dilemma: something happened that happened to your daughter, your son, to you to your marriage, let's, let's, let's, let's play it down and prayed up and look for the wisdom and most likely you're going to need some help. There's that power partnership, you better, have some God idea, partners and so being able to have that person, persons or the team to go to is how began to set yourself up before the next success and that's what I've been to entertainers athletes? All types of people is to be that partner. That comes there and
and lives, people up in an usually with answers that they already know sent him to me. It's it's not like I'm coming up with something so spectacular, I think. Sometimes the answer is already inside of us. Yes, is that why when you show people their baby pictures grow people, yes success people they start big men, yes, breakdown in crime- that is one of my techniques and I love to tell a story- is well known in a fail player and he said everything is wrong. Everything is raw meat, make a million dollars everything's wrong, and so I said,
here's what we're gonna? Do you told me you lived right down the street from worm? Stan you grew up. There was. It was a tough neighborhood, so we went to his old elementary school and what are you up to himself? This is crazy, we're going to the elementary school and he goes well, that's wows and second rate and that's rousing third grade and we got a swing set any just begin to weak cause. I'm taking you back to the place of innocence. I want to take you back to the place of innocence. And whether be through pictures through thoughts through memories to watching home movies, take you back to the place where, we're all round the reason people cry is because their remembering the true of who they are. Is that why their crying? I said this way that the real you.
will remind you of the person you're supposed to become so the real me is always talking to me that I started off funny happy full of joy yeah. So if I get hit by life's challenges- and I start to lose- that the real us is talking to us to be alive, be alert, be awake and is the challenge itself away of talking to us is the reason why you in the challenge, because you believe that everything is happening in divine order. Yes, I do, and in I don't try to avoid difficult situations and in even if I you don't not on purpose, I really don't, and I may I would. I don't want him to come. I don't want him to shop at my door, but if they're there, I've had enough of these things. I want to figure out. Why is it here? What's my last Saturday,
this question right, yes, wise it here. Why is it here when you, let me in what by less yes, one of the things that you you teach and repeat this book is that I think in that most people, people think things are supposed to go well. Yours There are corners there now Corners and their unknown corners. Yes, I call it in my message just around the corner just around the corner, just a corners a bender curve. Every day you go around corners, known corners or unknown corners. The no corners we know yeah. I know how to get home right. I know how to my job. So we become creatures of habit right, but the great thing about life is at the divine could take us in the places in spaces with now,
urban, who would ever thought when you have grown up in Mississippi that you would travel the world I mean is interesting thing that was the just around the corner: Riah yeah, yeah yeah. I mean when I think about the fact that, as a kid I was watching a slide show, And the second grade teacher was showing as Europe and she shall, show me the Eiffel Tower and I got all excited to think a little kid that didn't have much money. Then one day I'd stand in front of the Eiffel Tower. That's my just around the test around the corner, but there are things They try to stop us from coming around the corner, and one of them is. I don't think I deserve to go around the corner and experience this great life because of setbacks. Challenges that I've had. My ok. Can you, because I have. I found that that is sort of a common re us that so many people
even when they don't know they have, it is a sense of on worthiness. Yes, how can you ever fully step into the destiny? that God has designed for you. If you don't allworthy, will you really can't so in that case,. You need to then renew the way you think, and in this book I talk about, isn't it be renewed by what is a package yessir Romans. Twelve ok be renewed by the, spirit of your mine mine, and then it says that you may prove what is a good and acceptable the perfect will of God. So Let's say if there's a satellite dish, remember the old dishes: people would have at their home and everyone's guys houses like in my turn. This way I wagging Canadian, in this way Russia, but wherever you shifter satellite dish? That would you pick up?
So if I shift my satellite dish towards what God thinks about me see guides opinion of me makes man's opinion around if anybody could ever really get that in them. What is God think about me. sounds one three says he knows you're frame, in other words he knows, you're a work in progress. I don't think God is really that upset over some of these things are people do really. I really don't. Because I think he's a merciful god so the things that we. That resonate with me, I got that does We often beat ourselves up about and live in the past. Out and continually go back about, God has already forgiveness. Yeah. Ok, so you preach this. You teach this are you able to live it? Well, here's here's the interesting thing about life is that it
if I was to ever say that I would go through some of the things I ve gone through when I was young, I would say: that's not gonna happen to me yeah. So, let's, let's I've been through a divorce and I have I didn't see that common. I never got married thinking, I'm gonna get divorced. I got married to be married, but then I had hardships had problems. I got divorced So now the combat coach had to start understand in his own teaching and boy. That was hard. So what is the mess? it's that you think is essential for people to be able to step into the frequency of God. I think number one understanding the God wants. A kind of relationship with US prayer is communicate.
But to me it is communicating with my father. I believe the God is my Father. I believe with the Bible says it he's my father. So when I come to God and and I pray to him and I communicate with him, I feel that he'd, he downloads purpose. To me. He downloads destined me to me He downloads compassion to me yeah and aren't we isn't? Our sadness are set back our challenge, our feelings and defeat indirect. portion to how far we are away from the centre of God. One hundred percent and the great thing about life is, you can go from nowhere. People convict him, I feel like I'm. No, where will you go from nowhere to now here, just like that
By changing the way, you see things by understanding that this nowhere feeling and this nowhere destination could be part of God's plan. So what is the world's greatest wound? I think one of the greatest wounds is Misunderstanding to be misunderstood. everybody is voicing their opinion because they feel misunderstood Will it be one country to another country one religion to another religion, One raised another race misunderstand: how do we hear it by listening I need to listen. I need to stop and and listen to someone else's point of view. even on religions for a man like me, raised Christian. When I go,
These countries I go to. I want to listen to Muslim. I want to listen to a buddhist person and hear what they have to say. Ok, here's a good one for you. What is root of racism and prejudice. What's the router, that ignorance is one another would be People wanting to be right so badly that do not willing again to listen We live in a world of polar opposite darkness and light. Is it passed the will to always stay in the light it is it is. It is because darkness will surround. But that doesn't mean it has to get in you, I really do believe that we can create boundaries.
And that's why you have to watch what you listen to write, what you watch You lead into your sphere, which you lead in yeah, so it's like driving down the street and listen to the radio turning A big country, western Turner, little bit hip hop ter loaded, talk, radio, I have to really watch where I put my dial, because I cannot let that stuff My kind, a guy like you did not say that this morning I have a rule that when I'm picked up by anybody in any city the radio's off, because I don't want to have to be in a space. Were you energetic whatever have. I can't have. It seemed to me your carer of calling God called you to carry a calling, so I can put that stuff on me.
My friends, think I'm crazy, like we get to the car. We can't listen, didn't music with you and I can listen to it if I choose whatever the end was come into my sphere. I can't write because if I let them come on me, if I then go to go, speak two thousand people, that's all in you. It's all it means go see about that is so true. Ok, here's the biggie, your definition of God, Father Father, I'm fatherless he's a father to the fatherless, I go to the farther side. Again, the difference between religion and spirituality real Jim to me is man's man doing his best to. Get to God, abiding God follow God, please God relationship is resting, yielding and accepting
See I have accepted the love of my father, I'm not religious. So you live a spiritual life, yes, speed, reality, for you is accepting right, gods, love for you not trying to climb the latter? I'm not I'm not. Doing the rituals to get there I'm yielding to my father and X, Opting that he wants have relationship with me. Finish assent I believe that all things are possible. That even in the midst of your because challenge while you're filling the sting of your setback. God is preparing your come back. All things are possible And you are most grateful for. I am most grateful for the opera.
Kennedy? Tab change people's lives. It blows me away. I mean if I'm if I'm an airport. and someone comes up and says I was in your meeting and your words change me. I I am grateful for that. I am grateful for our time. Thank you. This was beautiful, I'm over Winfrey and you ve been listening to supersede conversations the cast you can follow super soul on Instagram, twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet go to apple podcast, unsubscribe rate and reviews. This pledge gas join me next week for another supersede conversation. Thank you for listening.
Transcript generated on 2020-10-09.