« Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations

What I Know For Sure: Joy and Resilience

2021-06-23 | 🔗

Oprah Winfrey shares excerpts from her New York Times Best-Selling book, What I Know For Sure which offers her insights, revelations and wisdom on how to live the life you want. From meeting her best friend Gayle King for the first time to dancing with Tina Turner on stage, in this episode Oprah recalls moments from her life that brought her pure joy and taught her resilience.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Toyota line of rugged and stylish trucks. Allow you to make the most of each moment and fine joy wherever you wrong when you get behind the wheel of a rugged and stylish Toyota truck mighty moments are always right around the corner. Swagger comes. they entered in the entire line of ragged and stylish Toyota trucks, Toyota handsomely rugged trucks that you stretch on and off the road show off your chisel good, said a handsomely rugged. Toyota truck go to your good Toyota, dealership or Toyota that calm slash, rugged dash trucks to learn more ragged inside. I wish toiled trucks. Toyota, let's go places. I'm over Winfrey welcome to supersede conversations the podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gives you can give yourself is time taking tie
be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now. it's not a new story, but I think it's worth telling one last time. The year was ninety. Ninety eight I've been promoting the movie beloved I've television interview with the late great Chicago, sometimes film, critic, Jean Cisco and everything was going perfectly Fourthly, until the time came to wrap things up. Tell me Jean asked What are you know for sure now? This was not my first rodeo I've asked and then asked an awful lot of questions the years- and it is often that I find myself at a complete loss for words but I have to say the man managed to stop me in my tracks about the movie I stammered
knowing full well that he was after something bigger, deeper, more complex but trying to stall until I can come up with a semi, coherent response. No, he said you know what I mean about you, your life, anything everything I know for sure I know for sure. I need time to think about that. Some more gene, sixteen years and a great deal of thought later. It has begun the central question of my life at the end of the day. What exactly do I know for sure I've explore that question, in every issue of a magazine? In fact, what I know for sure, is the name of my monthly column. Thank you Eugene Cisco, and give me there are still plenty of times when an answer does not come easy. No. I know for sure. I know that
one more editor calls or emails or even sends a smoke signal asking where is this month's instalment? I change my name and moved Timbuktu, but just when I'm ready to raise the white flag anyhow, that's it. I am tat out. I dont know anything for sure I'll, find myself walking the dogs or brewing a part of China. I or soaking in the tub in nowhere. A little moment of Crystal clarity will bring you back to something that in my head in heart and my gut, I absolutely do no beyond a shadow of a doubt, still I have to admit that I was a bit apprehensive when it came to re reading fourteen years worth of columns. Would it be like looking back oh photos of yourself in haircuts in outfits. It really ought to be left in the seem like a good idea at the time file I mean
What do you do if what you know for sure back in the day turned into what were you thinking here in the present? Well, I took a red pen, a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, a deep breath sat down and started to read and as I read what who is doing and where I was in my life when I wrote these pieces came flooding back. I instantly remembered rock in my brain and sturgeon muscle, sitting up leaked and weaken up early, all the figure what I've come to understand about the things that matter in life. Things like joy, resilience, ah connection gratitude and possibility, one of my favorite words I am happy to report that what I discovered in those fourteen years of columns is that
when you know something when you really know something, it tends to stand the test of time for don't get me wrong, you live and if your open to the world you learn so while my core thinking remains pretty solid. I did wind up using that red pen to do some nipping in talking to explore and expand a few old truths and some hard earned insights as you hear about all the lessons I struggled with cried over run from circle back to make peace with laughed about, and at long last come to know for sure my hope is that you will begin Ask yourself the very same question Jean Sis ask me all those years ago. I know that
what you'll find along the way will be fantastic, because what you'll find will be yourself. The first time Tina Turner appeared on my show one run away with her be a backup girl and all night long and are concerts well that dream came true one night in LOS Angeles, when the when we show went on tour with Miss Tina herself after full days rehearsal for just one song. I got my chance it was the most nerve racking me shaking exhilarating experience ever for five minutes and twenty seven seconds, I got a chance to feel what it's like to rock out onstage I've never been more out of my element out of my body. I remember
the steps in my head trying to keep the rhythm waiting for the big kick and being so self conscious, then, in an instant it dawned on me Ok, girl- this is gonna, be over soon and if I didn't loosen up, I would miss the fun so I threw my head back. I forgot about step. Step, turn kick and just danced. whew. Several months later, I received a package for my friend and Mentor Maya, Angelou sheets she was sending me gift she'd want any daughter of hers too, have when I ripped it open I found a cd of a song by Leon Womack that I can still hardly listen to without boo hoo in the
song, which is a testament to my as life? Has this line as it to refrain when you get the choice to sit it out or dance? I hope you dance. What I know for sure is that every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes and step out and dance to live free of great and filled with as much joy, fun and laughter as you can stand, you can either way boldly onto the stage of life and live the way. You know your spirit is nudging, you two or you can sit quite led by the wall. We see
into the shadows of fear and self doubt you have the choice this very moment. The only moment you have for certain. I hope you aren't so wrapped up in non essential. Stop that you forget to really enjoy yourself, because this moment is about over. I hope you look back and remember today. As the day you decided to make everyone count to relish each hour as if there would never be another and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance. I take my pleasures seriously. I work here art and play well. I believe in the yen and Yang of Life, doesn't take a lot to make me happy, because I find
Satisfaction in so much of what I do, some satisfactions are higher rate than others, of course, and because I try to practise what we preach living in the moment, I am consciously attuned most of the time to how much pleasure I am receiving. How many times have I laughed so get on the phone. With my best friend Gale King, that my head started to hurt mid how I sometimes think isn't this a gift after so many years of nightly phone calls to have someone who tells me the truth and to laugh this loudly about it. I call that five star, pleasure being aware of and creating four and five star experiences makes you blessed for me. Just waking up clothed in my right. Man is the old folks used to say being able to put my feet on the floor
walk to the bathroom and do what needs to be done. There is five stars. I've heard many stories of people who aren't healthy enough to do that. A strong cup of coffee with the perfect Hazel Nut, Kremer forced stars going for a walk through the woods. The dogs unleashed five, doctors working out one star still sitting under my oaks reading the Sunday papers for stars a great book five, singing out at Quincy Jones Kitchen table talking about everything in nothing, five stars being able to do good things for other people, five plus the enjoyment comes from knowing the receiver understand the spirit of the gift. I make an effort to do something good for somebody. Every day whether I know that person or not what
I know, for sure, is that pleasure is energy reciprocated. What you put out comes back. Your base level of pleasure is determined by how you view Whole life more important than twenty. Twenty eyesight is your internal vision, your own sweet spirit, whispering through your life with guidance and grace. Now that's pleasure. Life is full of delightful treasures. If we take a moment to appreciate them. I call them moments and of learned how to create them. For myself case in point, my four p m cup of must solid Chai t spicy hot, with foamed alma milk, on top its
refreshing and gives me a little left for the rest of the afternoon. Moments like this are powerful. I know for sure they can be a recharge. Your breathing space, your chance to reconnect with you, I've always adored. The word delicious, the way it rolled off my tongue, just It's me an even more delectable, then a delicious meal is a delicious experience, rich in layered, like a fine, cocoanut cake. I had won a few birthdays ago, both the cake and the experts it was one of those moments. I call a god. Wink went out of the blue everything lines up just perfectly. I was hanging out with a goop a girlfriend and Maui. I just
back from India and wanted to have a spar retreat at my house to celebrate. Turning fifty eight as girlfriends do even at this age We sat around the table and talk to midnight on the night before my birthday, five of the eight of us we're still at the table at one thousand two hundred and thirty in the Worn out from a five hour conversation that it run the gamut from men to Micro, Durham, abrasion, lots of laughing even some tears, the kind of talk and women do when we feel safe. In two days, I was scheduled to interview the famed spiritual. You're wrong dos, and by coincidence I started to hum a line from a song. Invoking his name suddenly my friend Maria said: what's at your helmet. Oh, just a line from a song. I, like she said I know, that's all I listen to every night away. I said it's an obscure
on an album by a woman named Sonata core. Yes, yes, As Maria said yes said, Madame CORE, I list you're every night before I go to bed, how do you know our music peggy? That's another friend who is with us gave me a cd two years ago. Been listening ever since I said I player every day before meditating now we will both screaming and laughing now. Why action? thought of having come to sing for my birthday. I said when I caught my breath, then I said now too struggle. Had I known you like due to, I would have made the effort later that night lying in bed. I thought isn't that something I would have gone to the trouble for a friend Maria, but not for myself for sure I need to practise what preach and value myself more more, This conversation in just a moment. This epoch
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Well travelled walkway, carves, a path through the forest maple trees tower over both sides of the trail and cushions of green moss dot, the trunks of the decades old trees, all the way up to the canopy touch them their velvety soft, a big? The fresh air among the trees fields restored. Do you smell that the smell of what our flowers and went tree trunks, Russian, to your senses and courses through you providing a feeling of balance and one with the natural surroundings. The chorus chirping bird surrounds you providing the perfect soundtrack tier day with all that shape. The air is remarkably cool, feel a gentle breeze at all, oh blows through the leaves birds chirping, all around and squirrels our wrestling around in the brush. There is energy, plants and animals around you. It's in February,
but there's no one way to taken major nature: every in space wherein is invigorating in its own way, like the banks, the nearby river. The waterways wide there and the blue sky stretches from miles with nothing. In its way hanging high percent of cloudless sky, the sun. Warms your skin from head to toe stacks. flat. Sandstone folders line the entered the water and the current of the river sends waves, lapping gently against them Did you tell him the water? It sends a shiver up your body, so refreshingly cold in the heat blue, green water is tense, with natural algae that you can see. See down through it. Schools of minnows darn around the shoreline watching nature at work. could be astounding, like the fish moving, both at random and perfectly synchronized at the same time, whether it's a forest, a river, a desert.
just your local park go taken me outdoors with me, Nature Valley. Nature Valley invites you to get outside, because nature makes us better. It energizes us and re fuels. Us experience the power of nature taken the out wars with Nature Valley visit. Take the outdoors dot com for more nature breaks. I went to sleep wishing than I had invited so not incur to sing for my birthday the next day, My birthday? We had a land blessing with a hawaiian chieftain that evening we gathered on the porch for sunset cocktails. My friend Elizabeth stood up to redeploy. Am I thought or make a speech? Instead, she said you wanted it and now,
Oh, you have manifested it. She rang a small time and suddenly music started to play. The music was muffled as if the speakers were really working, I thought what's going on and then there appeared walking onto my front paws wage sin item car in her white turban, and our musicians. How did this happen? I cried and cried and cried Maria sitting next to me with tears in her eyes, how my hand and just nodded- you wouldn't do it for yourself, so we did it for you after I've gone to bed the night before my friend, I'd call to find out where Sonata Corps was in the world to see it good, gathered Maui in the next twelve hours as life and God would have it
She and her musicians were in a town three minutes away preparing for a concert there and were honoured. They said to come in thing. It was one of the most amazing surprises of my life. I tell you layered with meanings. I'm still deciphering What I know for sure it is a moment I will save her forever. The fact that it happened. The way that had happened that had happened on my birthday, all so delicious When was the last time you laugh with a friend of yours sides heard or drop the kids off with a sitter and went away for an entire weekend more to the point. If you're I've ended tomorrow. What would you regret not doing it were the last day of your life. Would you spend it the way? Yours
Today I once passed a billboard that caught my attention. It read: he who dies with the most toys is still dead anyone who has ever come close to death can tell you that, at the end of your life, you Papa. they won't be witnessing about? How many all nighters you pulled at the officer? How much your mutual fund is worth the thought that linger are the if only questions like who could I have become, if I had. Finally done the things I always wanted to do
The gift of deciding to face your mortality without turning away or flinching is the gift of recognising that, because you will die, you must live now. Whether you flounder or flourish is always in your hands. You are the single biggest influence in your life. Your journey begins with a choice to get up, step out and live fully. Is there anything? I love more than a good meal, not much. One of my best took place on a trip to roam at a delightful little. Restaurant filled exclusively with Italians, except for our table. My friends Reggie Andre Gay, gales door to Kirby me eating, as the Romans do. There was a more
when the waiters prompted by our italian host Angelo brought so many delicious anti poverty that I actually felt my heart surge like an engines which in gears we had sixteen stuff with pursuit, and fresh right, tomatoes, layered with melting mozzarella. So warm you could see teeny tiny little cheese bubbles along with a bottle of eighty five Jessica, a tuscan Red one, that had been breathing for about half an hour to sip and savour like liquid velvet. Oh my. These were moments to treasure did I mentioned I typed all this offer the bullet pasta visually made to perfection and little Derriman, Zoo yeah. That was some good evening paid for with a ninety minute, jog around the Colosseum the next day, but it was worth every delectable bite I have a lot of strong, believes the value
eating. Well is one of them, reassured that a meal that brings real joy we'll do you more in the long and short term, then a lot of filler food that leave standing in your kitchen roaming from Cabinet de fridge. I call that the grazing feeling you want Something, but you can't figure out what it is and all the carrots salary can this chicken in the world cannot gimme the satisfaction of one incredible piece of chocolate. If that's what you really crave so. I've learned to eat one piece of chocolate maximum to endear myself to stop and relish it. No- full well like scarlet, o Hara. That tomorrow is another and there is always more where that came from, I dont have to consume the whole thing just because it's there what a concept
it's been more than two decades since I first met Bob green Jim and tell you I Colorado. I way too. hundred thirty seven pounds at the time my highest wait ever It was at the end of my robe and the end of hope, so aimed at my body and my eating habits, I could barely Bob in the eye. I desperately wanted a solution that worked Bob put me through my work out pieces and encouraged a lifestyle built around eating hole foods long before I ever heard of the store that shares that name and mission I resisted, but even as different diets came and went, his advice remained consistent and wise eat foods that make you thrive a few years ago. I finally got the big, aha and started growing my own vegetables, and what began
with a few words of letters, some tomatoes in basal, my favorite herb in my back yard in Santa Barbara, eventually became a genuine farm in Maui. My gardening interest grew into a passion I get. We dickie jealously happy at the sight of the poor with the gear we ve grown the elephant gale that reaches my knees radishes so big. I call them baboons, but because for me, if all represents a fee all circle moment in Room Mississippi, where I was born, a garden meant survival national, where I later lived, my father always cleared a patch by the side of our house where he would grow. Collared greens, tomatoes, crowd appease and butter beans. Today, that's my favorite meal at some cornbread. Now, click on my deals, but when I was a girl, I saw no value in eating freshly grown food.
I can't we have store bought food like other people, I would complain. I wanted my vegetables to come from the Allie of the jolly HO ho ho green giant having to eat from the garden made me feel poor. I now know for sure how blessed I was to have access to fresh food something not every family today can take for granted. Thank you, Lord. For growth. Have worked hard to sow the seeds for a life in which I get to keep expand My dreams, one of those dreams, is for everyone to be able to eat fresh food that goes from farm to table because better food is the foundation for a better life. Yes, Bob, I'm putting it in print. You were right all along
I met Gale king in nineteen. Seventy six when I was a news anchor at a station in Baltimore, and she was a production assistant both of us from Circle that rarely interacted, and certainly we're not friendly from the day we met gale made it known how proud she was that I had the salted position of Ankara woman and how excited she was to be part of a team I was on. It has been that way ever since we do and become friends right away. We were just two women, respectful and supportive of each other's path. Then one night after a big stone, storm gale, couldn't get home so I invited her to stay at my place, her biggest concern underwear. She was determined to drive forty miles to a snowstorm to get to champion. ACE Marilyn, where she lived with her mom in order to have clean panties I'm clean underwear, I told her
you can use man or we can go, buy you some once I find they convinced her to come home with me. We stayed up the whole night talking and with the exception of a few times during vacation spin out of the country gale- and I have talked every day since we last alot, mostly about ourselves. She's help me through, demotions firing, sexual harassment and the twisted invest relationships of my twenties. When I couldn't tell the difference between self and a doormat night after night Gale listen to the latest woeful tale of how I'd been stood up for life done wrong. She always ask for details. We call it but chapter and verse then seem- is engaged as if it were happening to her. She never judge me yet.
When I'd. Let some man use me. She often say he's just chipping away at your Spirit one day. I hope he chips deep enough for you to see who you really are someone who deserves to be happy in all my triumphs in every good and great thing that has ever happened to me: Gale has been my boldest cheerleader, of course, no matter how much money I make she still worrisome. Spending too much remember M C hammer. She tcheidze, as though I'm one she's away from following in the footsteps of the rapporteur, who went bankrupt, in all our years together. I've never since even a split second of jealousy from her. She loves her life. She loves her family. She loves discount shopping enough to slap across town for a sale untied only once ass. She admitted to wanting to trade this with me. The night I sang onstage with Tina Turner. She who could not carry a too
in the church, for you may say, fantasizes about being a singer. Gale Is the nicest person I know genuinely interested in everybody story, she's a kind of person who ask a cab driver New York City. If he has any kid What are their name shall say when I'm down. She shares my pain when I'm up you can believe she somewhere in the background, cheering louder and smiling broader than any one else. Sometimes I feel like gale is the better part of myself, the part that says no matter what I'm here for you, when I know for sure is that gale is a friend I can count on. She has taught me the joy of having and being a true friend more of this episode after short break, the Oprah Winfrey show the pot cast his sponsored by better help online therapy. You know, we begin to see the light at the end of the covert tunnel, a lot of people
still feeling down and emotionally out of sorts you, you may not EL depressed or at a total loss, but but if you're feeling a little bit off for your relationships are suffering that could be assign. You should talk to somebody. An online therapy can help that are help is not a crisis line. It's not self help its professional, therapy done securely online. It's really easy fill out a questionnaire to help better help assess your needs and they match you. Would your professional licence therapist, you start communicate. with your therapist and under forty eight hours schedules secure equally videophone or even live chat, appointments their therapist a broad range of expertise that may not be locally available in your area. You can log in to your any time to send a message, dear therapist, You want to make sure you have the right, FED and better help is committed to great matches, so it's Z, and free to change their best if needed
definitely more convenient and more affordable than in person therapy and find it too late is available. Our listeners get ten percent off their first month at better help that calm, Slash super saw that's better Ici LP, dot com, slash superficial, getting through. New pops at the same time was not the smartest decision I ever made. I acted on impulse charm by their cute little theses, intoxicated by their sweet Bobby Breath and the under bite on puppy number three. Leyla, then I spent weeks getting up at all hours of the night with them. I picked up pounds of poop and spend hours puppy training. So they would have good manners, It was a lot of work. I was sleep deprived and constantly frazzle from trying to three at a time from destroying all my worldly goods, who did, I gain a big new respect for mothers of real babies.
This puppy. Love was starting to get on my nerves, so I had to make a paradigm shift one day while walking them. I stood and watched them frolic and I do mean frolic rolling, tumbling, chasing laughing yes dogs, do laugh and leaping like bunnies. They were having so much fun and seeing them that way made my whole body. Sigh, relax and smile new life discovering a field of grass for the first time. What a wonder we all get the opportunity to wonder every day, but we ve been lulled into numbness. Have you ever driven home from work open your door and ask yourself how you got there? I know for sure that I don't want to live a shut down- life descended ties to feeling and seeing. I want every day to be a fresh start on expanding what is possible
on experiencing joy on every level I love of building a fire in the fireplace reticence of accomplishment. It is destroying the would exactly right pyramid style and have the flames. shoot up without using starter log, I don't know why, so rewarding for me let it is as a young RO I dreamed of being a girl scout, but can never afford the uniform. A fire is even better when its pouring rain outside and its absolutely the best. When I finished my work checked by E mails unplugged and am ready to read everything I do all day. I do in preparation for my reading time. Give me a great novel or memoir. Some tea and cozy spot to curl up in an in Heaven
I love to live in another person's thoughts. I mark let the bonds, I feel with people who come alive on the page, regardless of how different their circumstances might be from mine, I not only I know these people, but I also recognise more of myself insight information, knowledge inspiration. power. All that and more can come through a good book. I can't imagine where I'd be a who might be without the essential tool of reading irish would not have gotten my first job in radio at the age of sixteen, It was during the radio Station W Veal Ellen National. When the DJ asked you wanna hear how your voice sounds on tape, young lady and handed me a piece of news copy and a microphone you oughta his girl. He exclaimed to his boss. There began my broadcasting career. She
Lee thereafter. The station hired me to read the news on the air. After you, years of reciting poetry to whomever would listen in reading everything I could get my hands on. Some one was going to pay me to do what I loved read out loud. Books for me used to be a way to escape. I now consider reading a good book, a sacred indulgence, a chance to be any place I choose. It is my absolute favorite way To spend time. When I know for sure is that reading opens you up, it exposes you and give you access to anything you're mine can hold when I love just about reading, it gives you the ability to reach higher ground and keep climbing
My primary and most essential goal in life is to remain connected to the world of spirit. Everything else we'll take care of itself this. I know oh sure and my number one spiritual practice- is trying to live in the present moment to resist, projecting into the future or lamenting past mistakes to feel the real power of now that my friends is the secret to a joyful life. If everybody remembered to live this way as children do when they first, on this planet. It's what we harden souls call innocence, we'd, transform the world playing laughing feeling joy, my favorite Bible verse, which I
love, since I was an eight year old girl is psalms, thirty seven four delight thyself in the Lord and he will give you the desire. So your heart. This has been my mind to it. Through all my experience delight in the Lord, in goodness, kindness, compassion, love and see what happens? I dare you. no matter who we are or where we come from We all have our own journey I'm began one April afternoon in nineteen fifty three and Rule Mississippi, where was conceived out of wedlock by Vernon Winfrey, Enron, ITALY, their one time union that day, not at all a romance brought about an unwanted pregnancy,
and my mother concealed her condition. Until the day I was born, so no one was prepared for my arrival. there were no baby showers. None of the anti patient or delight that I see in the faces of expect and friend too. rub their swollen stomachs with reverence. My birth was marked by regret, hiding and shame, when the author and counselor John Bradshaw, who pioneered the concept of the inner child, appear on the upper Winfrey showing ninety ninety one. He took my hence and me through a profound exercise the asked us to close our eyes and go back to the home. We grew up in to visualize the house itself come closer. He said, look in the window and find yourself inside what do you see and more important?
what do you feel for me? It was an overwhelmingly sad, yet powerful exercise. What I felt at almost every stage of by development was low not alone, because there are always people around, but I that my soul survival depended on me. I felt I would have to fend for myself as a girl. I used to love and company would come to my grandma, this house after church, when they left, I dreaded being alone with my grandfather, who was senile and my grandmother. it was often exhausted and impatient. I was the only child for miles around, so I have to learn to be with myself. I invented new ways to be solitary. I had, Books in homemade dolls in chores in farm animals- I often named and talk to him
you're that all that time alone was critical in defining the adult I would become looking back through John Bradshaw Window into my life. I was sad that the people closer to me, didn't seem to realize what a sweet spirit a little girl I was, but I also felt strengthened seeing it for myself. Like me, you might have experienced things it caused you to deem yourself unworthy. I know for sure healing the wounds of the past is one of the biggest and most worthwhile challenges of life it's important to know when and how you were programme, so you can change the program and doing so is your responsibility. No one else is there is one irrefutable law of the universe. We are each responsible,
for our own life. If you're holding anyone else accountable for your happiness, you are wasting your time. You must be fearless enough to give yourself the love you did not. Receive begin noticing how every day brings a new opportunity for your growth, how very disagreements with your mother, sharp and arguments with your spouse? How unkind spellings of unworthiness appear and everything you do and don't do all these experiences. your life's way of urging you to leave the past behind and make yourself whole pay attention. Every choice gives you a chance to pay your own road, keep moving full speed ahead,
Every challenge we take on has the power to knock us to our knees, but what's even more disconcerting than the jolt itself is our fear that we won't withstand it. When we feel the ground beneath a shifting, we panic forget everything we know and allow fear to freeze us just a thought of what could happen is enough to throw us off balance. What I know for sure is that the only way to endure the quake is to adjust your stance. You can avoid the daily tremors they come with being alive, but I believe these experiences are gifts. Force us to step to the right or left in search of a new centre of gravity, don't fight them. Let them help you a just your footing. Balance lives in the
present when you feel the earth moving bring yourself back to the now. you'll handle whatever shake up. The next moment brings when you get to it in this moment, you're still breathing. In this moment, you have survived In this moment, you finding a way to step on to higher ground. For years I had a secret that almost no one knew even gale, who everything about me wasn't aware of it until several years into our friendship. The same is true for Stedman. I hate it until I felt safe enough to share
the years. I was sexually abused from aged ten to fourteen my resulting promiscuity and finally, at fourteen my becoming pregnant. I was so ashamed. I hid the pregnancy until my doctor noticed my swollen, ankles and valley. I gave birth in nineteen. Sixty eight the baby died in the hospital weeks later. I went back to school and told no one. My fear was that if I were found out, I would be expelled, so I carried the secret into my
which always afraid that if anyone discovered what had happened, they too would expel me from their lives. Even when I found the courage to publicly reveal the abuse, I still carried the shame and kept the pregnancy a secret when a family member who has since died, leaked the story to the tabloids everything changed, I felt devastated, wounded betrayed. How could this person do this? To me? I cried and cried. I remember Stedman coming into the bedroom that Sunday afternoon the room darken from the closed curtains standing before me. Looking like he too had shed tears. He said, I'm so sorry
You don't deserve this when I drag myself from bed for work that, Monday morning after the news broke, I felt beaten and scared. I imagine that every person on the street was good. point the finger at me and screen braggin at fourteen. You wicked girl expelled no one said a word not strangers, not the people. I knew I was shocked. Nobody treated me differently. For decades, I've been expecting reaction. That never came. I have since been betrayed by others, but although it's a kick in the,
It doesn't make me cry or take to my bed anymore. I try never to forget the words of Isaiah five thousand four hundred and seventeen no weapon formed against. You shall prosper every difficult moment has its silver lining and I soon realised that having the secret out was liberating. Only then can I begin repairing the damage done to my spirit as a young girl I realise that all those years I've been blaming myself. What I learned for sure was that holding the shame was the greatest burden of all when you have nothing to be ashamed of. When you, know who you are and what you stand for. You stand and wisdom don't go anywhere or to come after this short break, some
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and if you don't even want to get off the couch there is same day, delivery powered by door dash and avail. At select. Macy's vow I went on most in stock items whenever and faced with a difficult decision. I ask myself: what would I do if I weren't afraid of making a mistake feeling rejected looking for or being alone. I know for sure that when you remove the fear, the answer you ve been searching for, comes into focus and, as you walk into what you fear, you should know for sure that your deepest struggle can, if you're, willing and open produce your greatest strength, Have you ever come across an old picture and been instantly transported back in time to the point where you can.
Ill, the clothes you were wearing, there's a photo of me at twenty one years. All that gives me exact this feeling the skirt I was wearing caused forty dollars more than I ever saw. Not a single item of clothing, but I was willing to do it. For my first major celebrity interview, Jesse Jackson, he was speaking at a local high school, telling students down who dope up with hope and I've been assigned to cover in my news director, didn't think the event was worth our time, but I'd insisted Ok, I pleaded assuring him. I could come back with a peace worthy of the six o clock news and I did I had fondness for telling other people stories extracting the truth of their experience and distilling it into wisdom could inform inspire or benefit someone else still. was uncertain about what to say to Jesse Jackson or how to say it.
If I knew then, when I know now, I would never have wasted even a single minute doubting my path, because when it comes to matters of the heart, emotion, connection and speaking in front of large audiences, I thrive something happens between me and whoever I'm engage with. I can feel them and since that their vibe and right back with me, that's because I know for sure that anything I've been through or felt they have to, and probably more so. The great could. Should I feel with everybody. I speak to stems from being aware that we are all on the same path. All of us wanting the same things, love joy. management, no matter what challenge you may be facing. You must remember that, while Canvas of your life is painted with daily experiences, behaviors reactions and emotions. You are the one controlling the bride
if I'd known as twenty one, I could have said myself, a lotta heart, ache and self doubt it. Been a revelation to understand that we are all the artist of our own lives, and that we can use its many colors brushstrokes as we like I've, always prided myself on my independence, my integrity, my support of others, but there is a thin line between pride an ego and I've learned that sometimes you have to step out of your ego to recognise the truth. So when life gets difficult, I found that the best thing to do is ask myself a simple question: what is this here? to teach me. I remember back in nineteen. Eighty eight, when I first took ownership of the opera show I had two biased.
video and higher all the producers there were million things. I didn't know I made a lot of mistakes during those early years, including one so big. We had to have a priest come in to cleanse the studio, afterward, Evidently for me I wasn't so well known back then I could learn a lesson and grow from it privately today, part of the press some successes My lessons are public. If I stumble people know and some days, the pressure of that reality makes me want to screen. But one thing I know for sure
not a screamer. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life. I would be for what I've actually raise my voice at someone. So when I feel overwhelmed, I usually go to a quiet place. A bathroom star works wonders. I closed. My eyes turned inward and breathe until I can sense the still small space inside me. That is the same as the still small space inside you and in the trees and in all things I breathe. until I can feel the space expand and fill me up, and I always end up doing the exact opposite of screaming. I smile at the wonder of it all. I mean how a man,
using? Is it that I a woman born and raised in Mississippi when it was an apartheid state who having to go into town, even the watch television we certainly do not want at home and where I am today, wherever you are in your journey. I hope you too will keep encountering challenges. It's a blessing to be able to survive them to be able to keep one foot in front of the other to be in a position to make the climb up life's mountain, knowing that the summit still lies ahead and every experience is a valuable teacher. We all have stand down moments that require us to stand up in the centre of ourselves and know who we are
when your marriage falls apart when a job the defined you is gone when the people you'd counted on turn their backs on you. There is no question that changing the way you think about your situation is the key to improving it. I know for sure that all of our hurdles have meaning and being open to learning from those challenges is the difference between succeeding and getting stuck As I get older, I can feel my body making a shift. I try. I can not run as fast as I could before, but to tell you the truth, I don't really care to everything, shifting breast knees and attitude. I marvel at my own sense of com now events that used to lead me reeling when my head, in a bag of chips, no longer even phase me even better. I'm privy to insights about myself that only a lifetime of learning
bring I've said that I always knew I was exactly where I was meant to be I was standing on the stage talking to viewers around the world with the opera show that was truly my sweet spot, but the universe is full of surprises, because I'm learning that were sweetwater concern, we're not limited to just one at different times in our journeys we're paying attention we get to sing. The song were meant to sing in the perfect key of life. Everything we ve ever and all women to do comes together in harmony with who we are. When that happens, we feel the truest expression of selves. I feel myself heading there now and it is
I wish for you to one of my greatest lessons has been to fully understand that what looks like a dark patch in the quest for success is the universe, pointing you in a new direction. Anything can be a miracle a blessing and opportunity you choose to see it that way. Had I not been demoted from my six o clock anchor posed in Baltimore Back and nineteen seventy seven, the talk show gig would never have happened when it did. When you can see obstacles for what they are, never lose faith in the path it takes to get you where you want to go, because this, I know for sure who your men to be evolves from where you are right now so learning to appreciate your lessons: mistakes and setbacks as stepping stones to the
future is a clear sign. You are moving in the right direction. During difficult times, I often turned to a gospel song called stand in it, songwriter Donnie, Mcloughlin sings. What do you do? when you ve done all you can, and it seems like it's never enough. What do you do when you ve, given your all, and it seems like you, can't make it through. the answer lies in maclarens, simple refrain, you just stand: that's were strained, comes from Our ability to face resistance and walk through it. It's not that People who persevere, don't ever feel doubt fear and exhaustion they do, but in the toughest moments we can have faith that, if,
take just one step more than we feel were capable of. If we draw on the increase. bull resolve every human being possesses. We will learn some of the most profound lessons life has to offer what I know for sure is that there is no strength without challenge. Adversity, resistance and often pain The problems that make you wanted throw up your hands in Harlem mercy will build your tenacity, courage, discipline and determination I've learned to rely on their strength. I inherited from all those who came before me. The grandmothers sisters, ants brothers who were tested with unimaginable hardships and still survived. I go forth alone and stand as ten thousand by Angelou proclaimed in her point are,
and mothers. When I moved through the world, I bring my history with me. All the people who pave the way for me are part of who I am think back for a moment on your own history, not just where you were born or were you grew up, but the circumstances that contributed to your being right here right now, what were the moment along the way that wounded or scared you chances? Are you ve had a few, but here's? What is remarkable? You are still here, still standing, I'm over Winfrey and you ve been listening
super soul conversations the pod cast. You can follow super soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook if you haven't yet go to apple pod, CAS unsubscribe rate and review. This pledge gas join me next week for another supersede conversation. Thank you for listening.
Transcript generated on 2021-07-19.