Steve Pavlina shares how to stop being disappointed. This is Part 1 of 2.
Episode 1541: [Part 1] How to Stop Being Disappointed by Steve Pavlina on How To Improve Your Predictive Ability
Steve Pavlina is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal development bloggers on the Internet, with his work attracting more than 100 million visits to his website, StevePavlina.com. He has written more than 1300 articles and recorded many audio programs on a broad range of self-help topics, including productivity, relationships, and spirituality. Steve has been quoted as an expert by the New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, the Los Angeles Daily News, Self Magazine, The Guardian, and countless other publications. He's also a frequent guest on popular podcasts and radio shows.
The original post is located here: https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2012/07/how-to-stop-being-disappointed/
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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one how to stop being disappointed. Part one by Steve, Adelina of Steve, Adelina, dot com and I'm just a mock happy Saturday.
we'll go to one of the. Only part gas in the world were blogs or narrated to you for free with permission from the authors, some more winning podcast. Thanks to you, and as February Twenty ninth of Ulysses
real time a special day that comes every four years feels a get delays. My birthday witches tomorrow, an online that, though
anyway. Today I have a bit of a longer poles or read the first after day and had finished the rest for you to Morrow. So with that, let's get right to it.
install optimizing your life,
How does that being disappointed? Part one, a thief?
Lena of Steve paddling, I d come if someone is late about
eighty percent of the time- and you expect them to be on time the rather foolish prediction isn't it they may be on time, but he probably won't be
how many people will do is get angry with a friend who is frequently lays does, as you
the change that person's behaviour, perhaps sometimes but
usually has little or no effect. The person will Mozart
to continue being laid at roughly the same frequency wanting a person, a change doesn't change their behaviour. It's more likely.
cement, the behaviour in place since people tend to resist others. Demands of them is ever resisting predictions. More sensible approach is to accept them, except that your friend will probably continue to be late. Most of the time note that this doesn't mean predicting that your friend
always be late, so you can be pleasantly surprised when they're on time, thou being
It is well, it means accepting
You don't really know when they show up and that most likely, though, be later than they say they will predict based on reality, not an overly positive or negative expectations. In many cases, you're prediction will be a spectrum of past
I'll comes with some being more probable than others. Now, if I may change their behaviour over time, but when such changes are going to occur, nativity, see advance evidence of that. Is your friend committed to becoming more punctual? If so, is there any physical evidence,
other than empty promises. For instance, when you visit your friends Home Deasey books like how to be punctual lying around, does your friend share deed?
because of their efforts to change, in other words, to you, some solid evidence that this habit will in fact be corrected. Only put this another way. As someone said, did bet you a hundred dollars a your friend would be late most of the time for all get together for the next six months.
Would you take that bet, meaning that your betting, that your friend will usually be on time? If you would take the bad is fair to say you expect the old behaviour to continue. If there's no evidence of change, then your best prediction of future behaviour is past behaviour. In this case, the past does equal the future if you turn prediction
set, the old behavior is likely to continue, then go ahead and projective expectation forward in time for at least a decade of the absence of clear evidence to the contrary, it's reasonable to expect that this pattern will continue year after year for at least the next ten years. Now do your best to accept a prediction without resistance: don't try to alter it for emotional reasons. The best predictor of future behavior is past
behavior, so be clear about the past behavior. You can reasonably expect that it will continue, as is, for the most part, absent any serious commitment to alter course. Change is always possible, but energy
possibility that he may not happen now. With this new found acceptance in mind, how does that affect your relationship with your friend? Does it mean
day that you kicked his person out of your life, not necessarily what
They can now account for the likelihood that this person will be laid. Most of the time has major decision
we'll be more intelligent, Sicily based on more accurate predictions, non false hopes
yesterday were shown. I went to a schedule appointment before he went there
The online reviews for this particular establishment of six reviews had five zero star
ratings in one one star rating out of three stars possible reviews complain of employees were slow and lazy and obviously hated their jobs they are
I served eventually, but everyone complain about the slow speed and it was clear that they were frustrated. The common frustration was that an appointment that should have taken five minutes and taking thirty to forty minutes where's that should come from the comes from people's sub
I'll just predictions. These reviews predictions were inaccurate by a factor of six to eight or so many attached to these predictions induce frustration
taken our business elsewhere, of course, but not in seem necessary. We simply update our predictions.
It's on the reviews, maybe they'll be faster with us. We thought, but
slightly. The appointment would take thirty to forty minutes or longer, since the day before our visit was a holiday fourth of July, I was able to add that to the prediction,
figuring it, could be more crowded than usual meaning we could be in for a longer way, because these expectations
put in for Peregrine my Iphone with audio programs to listen to a my macbook. So I can do some work if I wanted to, as it turned out,
waiting for more than an hour. However, I enjoyed my time. There was an angry or frustrated
since I didn't bring an inaccurate prediction like this should take five minutes with me. Instead, I use
time, to listen to an audio programme and do some online
research. Now, if it was a problem to have his appointment, take so much time, we could have gone elsewhere,
but going in with reasonable expectations, made that adjustment unnecessary back to the friend whose usually late, if a non punctual friend is a problem for you, he goes dropped his person from your life, but can also adapt flexibly to their expected Linas. If you still I to maintain our relationship with them, which approach you used,
cancel the nature of your relationship, for instance, if this is a working relationship with the other person's lateness is causing you money or lost opportunities, you may find it best to drop them from your team and give
our attention to people who are more punctual, but as this is a casual
I share with someone you otherwise enjoy spending time with you mean need dropped them. You can simply up to your expectations. Accordingly, don't invite this friend anything that requires a timely presence. Instead, if I
to hang out whenever flexible schedule and when their earliness would be a problem. You can arrive on time and bring
Want me to occupy. You of your friend shows up late in touch upon emails, organize your laptop hard drive
more joy, some reading or audio listening. I use
broach well meaning people for the first time,
I don't know them yet. I can predict whether they'll be punctual or not Maldiva shopper.
much on time, some arrive late in a very small percentage, flay completely the spectrum of outcomes misinterpret our
If you push up earlier on time, great- if not example on my ipod and do some reading till they show up if they don't show up at all,
I'll simply enjoy the time on my own and occupy myself in other tasks predating
behavior happens, subconsciously and is unavoidable. We can't stop making predictions because.
this is hard wired into our brains. You brain can help a predict. What were will
At the end of this blank you're gonna predict what number comes after two four six blank
so don't try to avoid making predictions Tubby feudal instead, give yourself permission to accept predictions as they come. Do your best
release attachment and resistance that gets in the way of making more accurate flight.
The ball and intelligent predictions pay attention to its happening and with what frequencies, both with respect to general behaviour patterns and with specific individuals
now suppose I made a few times with someone, and I can see they're usually late. Am I going to invite them someplace
where there are late arrival, would cause and negative consequences. No would hire them to work
a position where punctuality was important? Of course, not crystal engaged
then casually when their lack of punctuality, one cause any difficulties sure how does prediction play out in business here that in tomorrow's episode,
you. Just listen, a part one of the post titled how to stop being disappointed by sea.
have we not of Steve Pavlovna DOT com, a real, quick thanks to anchor for hosting this Bob cast anchor is the easiest way to make upon cast they'll distribute your pod cast for you, so can be heard everywhere. Spotify Apple, podcast, Google Pie cast an many more. You can easily make money from your bike ass to with no minimum listener. Ship anchor gives you everything you need in one place.
For free, but you can use right from your phone or computer creation tools like recording, Eddie, you're podcast, so it sounds great download the anchor up or go to anchor dot fm to get started. They deceive or finish the rest in tomorrow's episode, I'm happy he has his perspective because I actually did set up a meeting with him,
couple years back and it was an unfamiliar area to me, and my business partner took a little extra time navigating around and finding the place. So we might have been a few minutes late to the meeting. It wasn't that bad. It is with him and his wife, but glad to hear that he has his perspective and he's able to avoid disappointment by being prepared. It's a great perspectives. I have so thank you to Steve and again I'll finish this post tomorrow. For you, thank you for being here listening every day, including the weekends and I'll, be back tomorrow to finish this up or you're off to my life away,
Transcript generated on 2020-10-18.