Ingrid Y Helander shares what areas of life we're avoiding and how to confront them head on.
Episode 1709: 6 Life Areas You’re Avoiding: And 4 Ways to Face Them Head On by Ingrid Y Helander on Overcoming Avoidance
Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life’s difficulties. She has a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy.
The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/6-life-areas-youre-avoiding-and-4-ways-to-stop/
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This is optimal living daily episodes, seventeen o nine six life area
as your avoiding and for ways to face them head on,
by Ingrid. Why calendar of Ingrid? Why? How under Elam ftp dot com and I'm just a moloch, hope you having
but we can, if you listening in real time and welcome back to optimal living daily or the o l de pod, cast where I read to you from some of the best
blogs? I can find and get permission from mostly covering personal developed.
And then minimalism on this show. We cover a bunch of other topics in the optimal living daily podcast network, which includes, for other, shows deafening subscribed to those. If you like this one,
But for now, since you he'll get right to today's post, asked are often
I think you're alive,
six life area
Is your avoiding an for ways to face?
them head on. By
why? How, under of Ingrid, why how under Elam emptied out come you MIKE
call avoidance, being lazy on motivated, depressed freaked out or disliking conflict. But if you are human,
You probably know the warning signs when you start avoiding a voice.
And become a way of life. If you're, not careful robbing. You have time relations
ship, money, fun and other pleasures here, a few target areas
and examples of avoidance that I see in my office. Everyday work, life you're, successful career requires consistent
completion and suddenly you are online shopping like crazy, physical health,
or to wakeful hours before you're, ready for work, and rather than going to the gym you roll.
Over and go back to sleep relationship.
A small disagreement happens and you solemnly walk away from your partner social
intimidation weights in your inbox and tell yourself you'll think about whether to attend or not later spiritual
you, yoga, Madden Journal, sit in the corner and you daily passed on by and financial
Ex bill said in your mail. Pile he's
the Messiah knowing that a simple check could pay them to Morrow sound familiar what
happening when you avoid, and what can you do about it? Avoiding
is seldom a fully conscious choice, Elizabeth
got a mass explains. This frustrating tendency, this way quote avoidance coping, also known as avoidance coping avoidance, behaviors and escape coping, is a maladaptive form of coping that involve changing our behave,
viewer to try to avoid thinking or feeling things that are uncomfortable and quote basically avoidance is a bitch, will coping skill aimed at reducing pain. That is reinforced each time you do it. Sadly, the more you avoid
the parts of your life that feel uncomfortable. The more shame you are likely to feel about those parts of your life, the sheep.
In turn causes more.
Discomfort and hence more avoidance
If you tend to worry and are easily overwhelmed, it can be seen
diffidently difficult to simply face tasks and situations and do the thing before you is not your fault and is not joking matter just do it is a great model for selling shoes, but is not so easy for anxious people.
Implement. So what can you do today to head on face those things in life? You tend to avoid and do so with
a crumbling in a corner later here for ways to face
Lloyd and head on right now and very gently number one
they know your avoidance without beating yourself up, so
Yes, maybe you don't want to talk to your loved one about a particular topic. Perhaps you have not exercised or prayed or meditated in many moons. Maybe the bills are on the back,
your friends, wonder if you dont like them anymore. This happens to the very best of people say
We acknowledge, and only a part of you is
avoiding with as much compassion for your human self as possible, if you give very upset with yourself or anyone else in this process, stop breeze.
An offer yourself at least one moment of compassion number two
right down everything you imagine, you'd like to do if you weren't, avoiding after the suggestion for a few reasons,
people feel like their lazy or avoiding when in reality, there are getting nearly
everything done in fine fashion.
People who are highly driven or perfection mystic, but don't own this about themselves. One way of keeping on task is constantly telling yours
of that view, are avoiding things, for others,
there's so much shame beneath the surface. This exercise can help you get a glimpse of hidden pain and allow this part of you to be seen by you. Then you can access
or help was a therapist to get feeling better, and finally, you may just be so
custom to, avoiding that imagining moving forward in a more confident manner is a wild
new concept, if solely much
easier to move toward the picture that you create in your minds. I using all of your senses, so please
a using your imagination, for example,
my fantasy world, I open it
he built right a check and send it off, take my wife's hand and talk it through and I feel stressed, wake after eight hours of sleep hop in mice, Wesson Head to the gym just play with it. The purpose is not to make you feel guilty. This is an exercise in ink
he's your creativity and curiosity? Lay your body and mind, enjoy the play and possibility of doing everything in a way you would like to do it. You may feel inspire
ready to embody what you imagine or maybe the thoughts feel too threatening and cause increase. Shame
Firstly, you could discover that you are in reality facing a large portion of life, but you habitually use them.
I am sure that you are avoiding just notice and write down where you discover number three,
start with a small change in the easiest of the six areas. So you found
Mary of avoidance, and you can see how you like the situation to feel different great begin by choosing from
your list of avoidances, just one little action, you can take, thou feel really terrific, or at least good, when it's done make it one with just enough challenge to pursue, but
not so much challenge that is emotionally overwhelming for you, you really want to succeed on site
all right. I'm here so feel free to break any task down into a small portion.
Maybe spend one minute meditating this week, rather than entire yoga meditation session, probably do fifty pushups before work. Instead of going to the gym
You can write your partner, a letter of appreciation or reply to a couple of work emails. A small change is important,
and totally enough in this situation. Repeat this change, often and celebrate every time he replicated reminder
self, that your aiming for cellular change, not an earthquake like shift number four
respect, not only your new behaviors, but the parts of views that have been avoiding for so long. Here's, the thing parts of us
void are not trying to make life difficult, avoid is trying to save your system from pain, granted, avoiding things and people creates more pain over time, but at the moment it can feel pretty
aren't good, show respect the parts of you that learned way back when that this was a good way to feel better love them
let all of you know that as an adult you can handle more than you could as a child when you feel the need to avoid take
the time to identify what this feels like in your body or mind, breathe and offer a pause to your system when you make any
any progress on what you were formerly avoiding, celebrate because
celebrate were ready and down in your calendar with a huge, elementary school style, star, voice, recorder accomplishment in your phone memos or call trusted
friend, who's in on secret to share your success wherever you do. Allow yourself to be at least okay with what you ve done,
and if you feel genuinely pleased go for it avoidance
they need to run your life and you don't need it
pushed away or harshly blame you
twelve, when it happens. This time took a few gentle steps at moving forward confidently and begin building each new challenge on those
in time, you'll see when you truly need a realistic break and take it without avoidance or guild. He also begin again strengthen self confidence, as you
step into the life areas you were once avoiding
you just wasn't
the post titled six life areas your avoiding an for ways to face them. Had
but Ingrid, why? How, under of Ingrid, why harder, lsd, dot com as your wifi struggling to keep up with your streaming work?
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men. Have that linked in this episode description they getting rid. These are greatest Ferber
presentation to which is a common struggle. I see from listeners of the show, so I take these suggestions from
to art and in many areas of life. I particularly liked
it, journaling idea where she said specifically riding down
everything you imagine you like to do if you weren't, avoiding the great tip,
he to the show for even a month or many time longer. You probably know mentioned power of journaling before and so many
different, surely, exercise can have a long, lasting positive impact on your life, so deftly something to try polluted.
I hope your weekends off to a great start of your listening in real time. Thank you for being here.
Saying to me and for subscribing to the show I'll be back to our reading to you, where optimal life awaits
Transcript generated on 2020-08-15.