This is optimal, living daily episode, eight hundred and for the gentle art of self control by David Kane of Rob to to dot com, and I'm just a moloch, happy Thursday, welcome back or welcome for the first time if he knew here is very simply radio. Every single day of the year, including weakens and holidays, usually from blogs, and always with permission from the webs, it's like a free, ongoing audio book. Before we get to today's posed big things. The tax base, the online therapy company that enables you to improve your mental from anywhere at any time get mash with a licence therapist from over two thousand choices, and message them whenever you need to know commutes and no judgments for special offer. Just for you, visit talkspace dot, com old and use the code old to get thirty dollars off your first month and show your support for the show. Tax base is therapy for how we live today. Flowers get right to the post, After my eyes, your life

the gentle art of self control by David Kane of rather too dark home address but he threw a flask of acid on the Mona LISA nineteen, fifty six, they put her behind bullet proof and, presumably acid proof. Class same was Picassos weren't ago. After man, spray painted, kill all lies in giant red letters across the canvas I've always found it on. Believable that most a very famous paintings have no physical barrier between them and the visitors at amused of modern art in New York. I wandered around US all wall turn and was alarmed to discover starry night by Vincent Van Gogh, hardly more than arms length away from my distracted, clumsy body. The hundred million dollar painting is protected only by a line of tape on the floor about to feed from the wall, presumably making the distance at which communion with a painting becomes too intimate, and the security

I must lean in and scold you, the vast majority of miss artworks on display are protected only a similar lines of tape, Shin highs fences, or, in March dream cases velvet ropes. Amazingly, these non barriers are sufficient to give the vast. Already, a gallery visitors from mocking the world's most valuable art. None of these boundaries can stop determine vandal, but they do to prevent nearly one hundred percent of the rest of us from getting inappropriately close. The guards would quickly title you, of course, but pretty sure they aren't allowed to tackle you before you start clawing at the our work to choose is most people don't want to make things up? At least in a premeditated way, but one absolutely no boundaries. No lines. Indicate when you're proximity to some delicate thing becomes inappropriate. People end up. Mucking things up is just what we do. The classic velvet row fence drooping between portable

silver post, the kind that shape cinema, cues demarcation staff, only areas and protects unattended, but cakes is quintessential. Polite barrier is so did Herman not to offend. You does actually made a velvet, it one of employee, bad intentions on your part, the way barbed, wire or pointy wrought iron fences. Do it only wants you to come kindly moving alongside it rather than across it. Velvet robes can't stop anyone fist. Play, but somehow they stop almost everyone psychologically. This is a useful prince all for guiding one of the most important, clumsy, wandering people in your life yourself. You can use the guiding power, or of the velvet rope to gently shepherd yourself away from home is any routine were short term em pulses, sometimes undermine your bigger goals, a strange, you think about it? The self control isn't a trivial matter for some

complex evolutionary reason is mysteriously difficult to get ourselves to do so, obviously helpful things such as Flossy and get ourselves not to do unhelpful things such as eating a cookie immediate. The after philosophy. The specific challenges vary from person to person. We do self defeating things like this, because we have conflicting desires. We were good teeth, and we also want the night cookies. Usually we understand which pay a smarter and ultimately, more rewarding, but getting ourselves to take that path, especially on a consistent basis, can seem like a real puzzle. The usual impulse is to control ourselves with force. If necessary, we make sweeping declarations about how we're going to behave from now on, usually starting next Monday. No more junk food we ve no more inner before lunch time a new sheriff, in town. Predictably, we re bell at first I sneaked inglorious naughty exceptions to herself in both laws and then

Abandoning the rules completely wants is clear that we can say motive this will the legislator, the police and the perpetrator more more when it comes to getting away from unhealthy habits. I'm using a velvet rope approach instead of a more forceful barbed wire approach. I place some gentle symbolic barrier between myself and the thing out stop doing men often is enough to break the momentum of a nun holding poor choice, for example, and dumping of history, of doing it, drinking coffee in the late afternoon, despite the well established risk of tossing and turning all night a lot of some stubborn reptile brain pattern, I'm frequently tempted to do it. I have no outside all that of a tiny square. A velvet ropes were to appear on my coffee grinder every day at two p m. I would almost never or make the wrong choice a similarly tiny. These require wire fence would be too much. I'm not a monster. I just enter

Bargaining was bad impulses, sometimes a modest velvet reminder to direct myself elsewhere is, although be needed, me on a better path. I dont have tiny velvet ropes. So instead, after my post lunch coffee, I immediately placed a grinders removable plastic reservoir into the sink to be washed, the dishes later the fact that the peace is sitting in the sink associated with unwashed cutlery is enough. Get me to move along a more forceful approach might backfire. If I surrendered my coffee paraphernalia to a neighbour every lunch hour, I quickly develop a ritual of going to a coffee shop right afterward, the velvet robe does an altar. Your path by force, it guides suggests, implies. Reminds it leaves the choice up to you, but makes that choice slightly easier. The key is that it's still a choice. Only when you're still choosing can you call it self control

I could choose to step over the velvet rope by washing the container. Coffee anyway, but even then late afternoon, coffee drinking would still be an exceptional rather than normal choice, simply because of the small surmount double obstacle that now in the way, what is perfectly z, to undermine yourself. You often will, when the salt of Heating ACT becomes a little harder than perfectly easy. You probably won't. That's all velvet ropes and need to do Make it slightly harder than perfectly easy to go wrong? Why the key is identifying that job sure in time and space where the east This thing is the inappropriate thing and putting some tiny gentle obstacle in the way was the thing you keep doing that you wish you do can you put something in the way once you know where you tend to veer into trouble. The flow can often be interrupted by a single symbolic barrier

were banned around your wallet paper weight on top of the cookie jar, a line of tape on the gallery floor, he doesn't the post titled, the gentle art of self control by Davy Kane of Rob to to dot com, He always has amazing analogies. Thank you to my sponsor. For today talk space talk space is the all my thereby company that less you message: a licence. Therapist from anywhere at any time, all you need is beer with an internet connection, or you can use a talk space mobile app. That means you can improve your mental health, even if you had trouble making time for it in the past So you can imagine feeding anything else into your life. Try. It is as easy as sending you there are best a message, gets something off of your asked whenever you need to like everyday challenges at work or home or just shut about life. There are no. I should mutes no leaving the office

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