This is optimal, living daily episode, eight hundred and seven. How do you sure your life part to buy more man's in of Mark Manson, dot net and I'm just a market, happy Sunday welcome back or welcome for the first time. If he knew here is where I simply red you every single day of the year, including weekends and holidays, before we get to today's both big thanks to talk space, we all my thereby company that enables you to improve your mental health from anywhere at any time get matched with a licence therapists from over two thousand choices. A message them whenever you need to know commutes Ano judgments for special offer? Just for you visit talk, space dot com, slash old and use the code old to get thirty dollars off first month, all while showing your support for this show talk space, Is there be for how we live today? To tease article is a continuation from.

Yesterday's of your new here. I would recommend listening to yesterday's episode first, but if you're all caught up, let's get right apart to and continue optimizing your life. How do you you measure your life part to remark Manson Mark Manson done net. How will You measure your life, so this raises the question How are you measure your life, which metrics for success? Will you choose As for yourself, this is not an easy question to answer back in my dating coach, is: I worked with a lot of men who had poor metrics for success in their dating lies. They wanted to judge their according quote success. He saw how many women they slept with. How attractive the women they dated? Often utilizing attend scale to do so. How many women they could once how young of a woman they could date, and so on is no coincidence that men with these metrics of six, as of the same ones, who struggle with relationships these metrics of success,

our problematic, because they make harmful and unattractive behaviors appear, economical, and rational, for instance, if ones metric for success is the date. Someone who is richer popular them, lying or faking one's identity may become a rational strategy. In order to achieve that success, but he's tried is our demeaning and also lead to poor relationships for men like these, I develop something I call happiness, hyper articles, which I found two zero, even on the utility of a success metric, for instance, to these men. I would often say: let's pretend you had a choice to day one of two women one is stunningly gorgeous, but is immature and not enjoyable to be around the other one is average being physically, but you're always happy when you are around her, which one would you choose to be with or to me, our fixation on their number of for partners. I would say what would you rather do sleep a tangle don't excite you or sleep is one who blows you're my night after night. The answers to these questions are blinding

obvious to most people, but people have unhealthy. Fixation. In their daily lives, experienced a lot of cognitive dissonance. When trying to answer these hypotheticals, The reason I bring these up is because, once I moved beyond dating, I found that these hypotheticals apply wonderfully in most areas of life, for instance, here's a classic question for you to chew on. Would you rather be rich and work, a job you hate or have an average income and work a job? You love this one is the deeper. Would you rather be someone famous an influential for something that doesn't matter like, say being on a reality tv show, or the anonymous and unknown, despite working on something that insanely important, like, for instance, resurging cures for cancer or for those. If. Like they always need to be dating somebody Would you rather have nothing but toxic relationships? Would you rather always be alone and emotionally, healthy and happy the happiness? Hypotheticals are powerful tools because they can show us what metrics of success

as actually matter for us many of us think relationship. We'll make us happy, but emotional health should be the goal and relationships the side effect, maybe popularity will make them happy, but one should do something important and noble, and let the fame be the side effect as humans were all job my happiness in meaning, but we often get caught up in another Very status concerns and superficial comparisons when we create hypothermia, go either or situations between those comparisons and happiness in quickly sore our priorities out for US tools such as these show us, phase, in which we can measure our own success. I'm not famous, but I improve people's lives. Tat makes me successful, you're, a single and alone right now, but you're happy and proud of yourself. I may see you successful, must take care in choosing the way in which we measure success, because metrics we choose will determine all of our actions and believes. For instance, if you decide that watching,

twelve hours of television per day is your life's ultimate purpose in your greatest metric success. Then, within a few months, you'll find yourselves fat. Lonely man miserable man successful if you decide becoming the biggest, ugh deal on your blog is your definition success. Then you may find yourself shot the metric success which we choose led to long, real life consequences and they determine everything. I challenge you to take a moment and set up happiness. Hypotheticals with some of your body his tries and desires in your life and see what answer comes up with. Bonuses at bring your yardstick off of external measures, of success and onto internal state of happiness in meaning will lead to a more purposeful and fruitful life. Here's a recent example of my earlier this year I found that I was getting He hung up on how many people were reading my book and my blog. I was getting frustrated because for the first time in my career, my readership had plateaus. I found myself too

did to pander to the lowest common denominator just to get more traffic. I had asked myself rather be read by a massive audience for something I dont care writing about or a smaller audience for something I do care writing about that quickly. Put things in perspective. I need a right about the things which are important to me in my life first and logic here that information to help others cycle The only way that what I rise will feel true in the case of do Mustang so like a failure after decades of mass material success, because his metric for success was a superficial one being better and more popular than Metallica, but what, if Mistaen had instead chosen? happiness as his metric. What have you decided to measure his success? he's on? How why lean enthusiastic his music was received by people and how well he felt he was expressing himself artistically that would have changed everything You just listen to part to the post. Titled

How do you measure your life by Mark Manson of me? Manson done that great pose for March heavily resonate with me. Hopefully differ you to a kind of feels, a therapist some of this stuff. He said and on that note, if you're interested in therapy but dont want to deal with winning Aquiline, a lobby check out talk space. The arm I am fairly company Dell, as you did your license therapists from anywhere at any time? All you need is a computer with internet connection or the tax base mobile up. That means you can improve your mental health, even if you ve had trouble making time for it in the past, We can't imagine fitting anything else into your life. Just tries, as is sending a therapist a message get something off your chest: You need to like everyday challenges at work or home or just chat about.

If there are no extra commutes? No leaving the office no judgments to match with a perfect therapies for a fraction of the prize of traditional therapy, gotta talk space, dot, com, slash old and use the code old to get thirty dollars off your first month and show your support for this show this to code. Oh well, d and taxpayers. Calm, Slash d, like imagine yesterday, confined marks a book, the subtle art of not giving a f on it. Site or Amazon has got over three thousand ratings there for half stars to which is solid great way to show your support for him. Only. There have agree rest of your day,

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