« Pardon My Take

Dave Dameshek 09/12/16

2016-09-11 | 🔗
The first NFL Sunday has finally arrived and the guys are ready to recap all the action as well as Larry The Goldfish's triumphant 3-0 gambling start (1:53 - 12:23). Football guy of the week is awarded and Roger Goodell talks concussions (12:23 - 23:18). Dave Dameshek from the NFL Network joins the show to talk Week 1, fantasy football, and what it was like working on the Man Show with Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel(22:18 - 51:32). Segments include "Thoughts and Prayers" to baseball, "As a white guy", "Uhhh Ya Think", "Sabermetrics" for Jack Del Rio's ballsy move, and PR 101 for the American Flag.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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september twelfth and it is weak we one of the nfl season we have the
when raiders versus the new orleans saints absolutely right boom ticket to indianapolis andrew not so lucky luck verse matthew stafford it's not john kitten caboodles anymore the football boom stewart and the eagles what spread will said boom alright lot of football left to be played out there boom it's a special game i'm in doubt if that music doesn't get you jacked up if week one doesn't get you jacked up you have no pulse it is part of my take we are back it is nfl season officially how we feel i'm honestly feeling like i can run through a brick wall after hearing that music
it gets me going i'm in love it i'm look i'm i'm torn as to if that's the better music or if i'm a red zone guy kids read don't count on tuesday i'll tell you i'll say this fifteen weeks out of the year i'm the son they count on yeah i love the one week out of the year on the red zone music guy and that's week one when you're back into it i just i wish i loved adult so much i wish there was a red zone channel just for life in general or red zone channel of the red zone channel i'd watch that too yeah the best touchdowns right you know what love is when scott hanson or are by cecily i don't how condescending they get when you're watching the highlight of the game and in that highlight of the game they break to a by late of another game you if we've already seen this ask yes you guys have seen this yeah come on we don't need to catch up again yeah week one though man it is there really is no feeling coming up to the kickoff of week one on that sunday when there's a full slate of games it
better than christmas morning it's better than your birthday it's better than july fourth it's better than saint patrick's day any other day you want to name week one first sunday when it is back you put on your team's clothes for the first quarter if you're a bears fan you think maybe the bears will be good that's always fun it is excitement it is a blast we lost some money we got gucci cursed against we lost a lot of money and i think we're going to do this every single sunday night is take the over sunday night game we watch it until the end i thought that we were ok i gotta give bill belichick credit though you see is he had a little cold sore going on you on the lips yeah little thing that's classic belichick he's it carter to read his lips if he's got herpes flare in all of their edit yeah so directional misdirection belichick's part so he's playing chess areas playing checkers yep so good for the past everybody likes to patch one i don't know if you caught this at the very end of the game they're interviewing edelman they said you have
i think that you want to say to tom brady watching at home and edelman like looked into the camera and gave him a message that's again the rules already suspect now that converge can't converse so technically i don't know it's kind of entrapment but by the letter tom brady just violated his suspension i agree i think you're sitting over there hank did the we've all been there everyone has been in this spot the bailout special you parlayed the patriots in the over the patriots won in covered the over we got gucci cursed by half a point yeah so with about seven minutes
pfd did some fuzzy he did a little back of the napkin napkin math that didn't really workout and he turned his he said hey guys i've done some math and we're gucci with the over and then about two minutes later he said hey wait a second this game is going to land on forty four in the overs forty four one slash two yeah it was definitely fuzzy math in my part the boys in the lab had some bad calculations for me so i had to throw it back over the wall to them so yeah i lost a lot of money but you know what that's you know it's three one baby yeah it's if there's ever a week to lose money it's weak one because guess what i've got fifteen more weeks sixteen more yeah yeah yeah exactly sixty more weeks what it back you're at a party and someone rooms up like a break up with someone that you know is going to set them off you said you were duty i hang with hank looks at
at work he honestly looks like he want to stab me the only other time i've seen this look in hank's eyes is waking him up in the morning i had the hey i'd wake her up i think in the morning look you know who's not losing money tonight who larry the goldfish all my god we have a goldfish that is the best gambler of all time had a goldfish we still have him in our hearts laree one are goldfish that is past tragically he is three and oh now against the spread three and always got two games pending he's got the steelers in the ram so if you want to hop on and if you want to buy a shirt and own a piece of 'em now's the time because larris about to go five in our week one and for those of you out there that don't know what this is all about larries are gambling goldfish in the las vegas super contest so when he wins the grand prize if you buy a t shirt you get a share of that in dollars coming your way or we go to mexico with the winning yeah we just we abscond you know what will let
whatever larry's alive in week seventeen haven't we'll have him decide if we go to mexico or actually give people money i think that's fair i love it yeah why not so we like to over react yeah in week one two don't when we flip out we let yep permission or flip out granted can it can i do a couple flip out yes my m b p janice once yeah okay well i mean if she's an unbelievable m v p r derek carr also also mvp co mvps okay member that year that like steven didn't seem to matter split it with someone yeah yeah okay who showed more poise see what whatever quarterback performs like slightly less chilly than you thought he was you have to say was very poise tanks at this or who showed more poise jimmy go pool or deck prescott oh i got another one for you carson wentz the real deal no way is it's going to backfire philly he is one of the best quarterbacks i've ever seen poise out of his eyeball philly you're super bowl curse your gucci
you're breaking up buddy and i also have one more this is now might be overreacting here brown stink yeah browns are trash ok i think we can hold on to that were definitely trash but i do i do like the the reason why the nfl so great is that every week feels so important and i mean i'm pretty sure on the countdown today they were saying that the jets had a must win game well they did right yeah and then only gets a playoff team you had to win that we have to win the hot bowls is he on the hot seat i'd say not what we say that for wednesday when we do our hot seat sponsored by dice tony's beef on sixty second in harlem go to tony's be mention pardon my taking get twenty percent off that is the funny part in our street yeah we we but i love free can
i love flipping out about week one everyone's going to say you know this team's bad the vikings look at them they don't even need sam bradford they just need two defensive touchdowns a game and they'll be fine i think the vikings are actually better without teddy bridgewater oh they were you know they were having a nurse them along and hold they have a guy now that can get the job done sean hill he's a gamer he is a gamer he's a worker a message are he's going to show but he's not going to dazzle you with talent our intelligence or you know doing any of the right things at the right time but you know what he's got a can win a game for you he's a he's a football manager and he would probably make a good like walmart manager too he's got that kind of look too isn't he that's the real deal threat right football walmart who knows what else we got any other week one thoughts oh jimmy garoppolo looked look great future bears quarterback jimmy grappa low
do we have a little bit of a quarterback controversy in boston hank okay we can't just keep saying future bears quarterback in in obviously i i it's it's it's a your does a major shade at your boy j by saddam you know that all i i listen i hope she stays i just know that the his guaranteed monies up and they'll probably i mean i'll probably that's how it works in a phone right yeah so i'm laying the ground work if jay is not going to be on the team next year i hope he is but if he isn't future bear quarterback jimmy grappa low if you say it enough gonna start getting in there had the bike week does jimmy have like some some clause in his contract that he has to go to the bears next year in maybe it's like a win win donald trump kept calling on line ted yeah the time there's a people like wait a second i think ted's a liar hey we're connect we're we're connect the dots guys right like i have durant goes and goes in that takes a vacation out in the west coast and boom he's next thing you know he signed with the warriors jimmy grappa low from illinois
eastern illinois product bears you've heard this one like i have i am i am i did in the near future one other thing that people talk about a lot is is this the year a guy makes a leap so i'm gonna ask you this year that matt stafford finally makes the leap i'm going to say yes newbold calvin johnson was holding him better without calvin johnson he can spread the ball around yep yep he doesn't feel like he has to throw it to him hey they lost a johnson but they're developing a cooter you know you had that one do you have that one written down you know it was great was when the when the colts went down big and someone and i heard the announcers are like
andrew luck though he can bring any team back which is i mean he's basically the junkyard quarterback except when you play against the lions if you have enough junkyard time and you're just throwing the ball around your eventually going to win the game right it's like if you sit me down at the blackjack table and get me drunk even if i'm up like five hundred dollars i'm going to lose all that should make a meeting right that's why it would be nice maybe if the colts didn't give up huge almost insurmountable all the time too that's it's kind of fun yeah yeah i mean a if he i don't know but we'll hear from some colts fans out there but i feel like that's kind of part of their you know mo now they just like to get down at least three touchdowns and then see what happens jim irsay was like hey chuck how 'bout you not go down like thirty points in the first half and then chuck started crying and her sister so this is our identity this is who we are just gotta
if you can't love me for main gym we wanted to talk about it because it is monday that means we have football guy of the week so this unfortunately actually know fortunately is quickly just turning into a segment set a football guy the week it's harbaugh for saving so they're in this one again but we have two newcomers so i'm going to go through him and we'll talk about it jeff brought coach of western kentucky went into alabama and he had this to say street fight between the whistles straight right between the whistles street fight between the whistles he wants a street fight between the whistles and then once you're kentucky lost by twenty eight points right and he's the guy isn't he the same dude that flip the table over against lsu and get his asking
yep i like fifty i love this i love him so much just where you go and he used to be in the xfl yeah do you know what jeff brohm should be first quarter coach of the colts ok no way they go down like that that you're absolutely so get that's exactly right get him running out of the tunnel ready through the fight between the whistles really psyched up there's no low there you don't have to wait till halftime kick your as speech yep started off hot i like that so street fight between the whistles is a great
dang especially when you get your asses kicked and then in that same game nick saban they were up twenty eight points uh it was forty seconds left and he went nuclear on lane kiffin in on the sideline in front of the whole world just lit into him that's just a football guy i've always wondered how much of this stuff is planned out nick saban obviously knows that the cameras are on him he knows that his team's watching him on the sideline he knows that lane kiffin is like observing him seeing how coach acts when there about to ice a game how much of this is something that he plans out in advance and how much is just nick saban just like the boiling blood running through his veins yeah it's just so he i think he just has to pop off you know he can't can't not cannot have a game where it doesn't pop off
i think it's planned you think it's planted how it goes when he when he wins championships and he holds the trophy up they always make a big deal cal hey hey nick are you going to smile the sun many like flashes a smile for half of a second here oh my god he smiled and the heat that's like his brand okay i'm the not smiling guy all right there maybe smile a little bit more hey hi hey honey you look so much better if you out every now and again nick all right so that actually eliminate some from this week because football guys don't plan stuff like that right so that's a very anti football guy moved here some thing that wasn't planned jim harbaugh and his game he got caught picking his nose and eating it yeah that's such a football guy that's not a football guy move that's just like a savage human being courageous is just eating his own mucus to survive his own ways i don't know i disagree i don't think it's a survival thing okay it will it it kind of is but it's more of a like i'm i'm lost in the wilderness but i'm the
amtrak tour haunted by something so i can't leave i want to leave any traces behind remember when rick majerus hic wrapped in a towel in the locker room and handed over sistant famous he didn't want to leave any traces right like nobody can ever know i was here they need to build jim harbaugh like a little river on the sidelines so he can just tramp through it so his footsteps can't be sniffed by a dog is what you're saying exactly like he's not going to leave any bodily waste on that sideline when it was an idiot they'd be able to come up in like touches bugger bugger oh my god it's still warm he's here we got him and then in that same game this is you can be my vote the ucf coach scott frost the michigan wolverines beat you cf fifty one to fourteen an he had this quote after it's hard to say when the score is what it is but we came in here and outhit those guys today that's got to be the football game of the week for me football guy that week right there when you lose
five thousand one hundred and fourteen or you're ready to say out hit the opponent but you know we kick their asses yeah hey there would be sore getting out of bed remember you guys let's see how they do game 'cause they're going to probably be licking their wounds for awhile that's right yeah no that's a great football guy move couple calls didn't go our way but you know what we we better they did check the stat sheet or defense on the field at forty seven minutes we had more tackles in them that i think i'm going jeff brohm know from his my vote ok just well that clip of him when the line if do i have a pulse yes let's play football clearly had a concussion is oh in the xfl so we check out the pardon my take twitter nice little plug there hank app pardon my take hank on sorry i can't speak right now it's one hundred o'clock in the morning hank found a clip of jeff brohm in the xfl finally got decapitated like five days before and then he was out there playing and he like
but you could see in his eyes that he was concussed and he just didn't care by the way speaking of concussions did you see that there's a new concussion protocol roger goodell got in front of america he talked to matt lauer within hard hitting interview like matt lauer this guy has been on a roll of the past couple weeks with his interview he stuck it to him he and goodell as far as i know i think what the nfl is plan is is they they got a team together they implemented a protocol they're going to check that protocol they're going to revise that protocol if the protocols not met they're going to come back and figure out where it went wrong with the protocol they're going to take ups to get it right yeah because this is important to them player safety is number one is not is their priority it right it's paramount to the rain fell so if the protocol is not adequate there will certainly be a review done of the protocol and stepped
comprehensive steps taken to implement changes and eliminate any of the issues that the private firm that they hired right found right as you want to get a third party you want to get a third party that may be also is like a lobbyist for the nfl or something or someone you know for jerry jones or someone like that we want to get them involved because they'll be you know on bias and they'll tell you where your protocol maybe went wrong no you're absolutely right and the more that they find out about whether or not can questions are bad for you then the more that they can do it to make sure that players are safer and that the rules reflect their commitment to ongoing safety and that's an import i'm happy you brought up that point because the science behind concussions were still learning things we're still learning new things everyday so we can't put it we understand recognize we learned a lot we've learned a lot
but in the past few years but we're learning things every day in it's hard to keep up with the science behind it and then implement it on the field because as you know it's a space game and these guys are making decisions in milliseconds and it's very hard to keep that that you know everyone safe but certainly as new evidence does come to light and new facets of the game or reviewed we're certainly going to be taking a look at things that we hardly do to change things hardly a hard look in the mirror as well yep i got a look at our selling day in every every day we need to look ourselves in the mirror and say what have i done today to implement a better protocol yeah i'm that was our new segment roger goodell spews a bunch of bullshit on live television about concussion protocols that all me nothing because cam newton literally got his brain mashed in five days ago on national television you know what i love about caddell he makes a big deal all the time about how he's not
clear right i'm not a lawyer not alert and it's so great that they hired like the person who talks the most like a lawyer who is not actually a lawyer to be the head because he's plausible deniability right right you can say whatever you want that sounds boring as but then if it's wrong it'll just be like hey hey listen i think go to law school okay yeah so i mean i'm not a lawyer not culpable here got lawyers but i'm not a lawyer right i'm not one of those guys i'm just i'm i'm just a regular guy yeah i'm like you i just love the sport an obscure about player safety that'll be thirty five million dollars and we have fun all right before we get into our great interview with dave damashek talking week fantasy and also a fun little story about adam corolla with him on the man show let's talk a little gambling yes
so as you've heard of say we like to put a little action on the games keep it interesting but the beat keep it nice keep it nice and lightweight that beca little bit didn't do too well tonight but for those of you out there that also enjoy some action on the games maybe want to win back a little bit of money that you lost over the weekend tomorrow night monday night tonight why i go to bed bet dsi it's a great time of year to be as fan got nfl starting up in full gear you've got college football week three is going to be much much better schedule than week two was which was trashed you've also got trump versus clinton you got some health issues coming up so why not lay a few coins down on whether or not hillary's got walking tony sounds like fun go to betdsi dot com i play there myself they are a plus it on most sports books they have great service they offer odds on just about everything including all the great sports we know
of and they have crazy odds on the twenty sixteen presidential election and reality tv if that's your if that's your bag they've got a quick website mobile access works great i connect my phone all the time no big deal i got a phone not to brag it's really easy use playing there makes watching games a lot more intriguing that's for sure and the best part is is part of my take listener as an award owning skews me part of my take listener but yes i has a great promotion is brand new code okay i've got a brand new code for it get a pen and paper to write this down it's take ten sign up at betty si dot com using promo code t a k e one zero you get ten bucks free to play on the sporting events the world events happening now once again take ten alright we now welcome on free the program who is the first time coming on dave damashek from the nfl network he is starting a new
is a new show it's a new well now it's not new it's a week old okay it's a one week old show called fantasy and friends check it out i'm guessing it's what dungeon and dragons what's going on with this show yeah that's pretty much it much what we do and we we get all manner of dice out we roll them for an hour we have some laughs you know it's a good time no it's not fantasy football as a matter of fact okay perfectly so we talk about fantasy football and how it affects
real football and vice versa is there anyone worse than the guy who like complains about his fantasy football team after one week well i mean i think you could use the ended after one week but yeah i guess that that's an extreme version but you know it's a it's a classic thing of i mean fantasy football is compelling that a big percentage of football fans but that only their own team people continue to think that anybody cares about what's going on with your fantasy football team it's even worse than golf shot there really isn't dealt with them the lamest conversation anybody can bring up to you would you rather hear somebody to talk about their fantasy lineup or what they dreamed about last night built to spill has a great line in an old song of there's no one cares what you dream about and less you dream about them but tell them yeah i don't know i always want one of those things i would like to figure out a technology that allows me to watch my dreams wouldn't that be the best place that just be a dvr for your dreams yeah
yeah that would be i i would sit around i then i wouldn't do anything in my waking hours other than sit around and watch myself there with our watch what do we need to be a pretty significant delete function work on that too because there are some that i just don't want to relive yeah there might be a fair amount of redundancy seems like you'd see the same characters popping up in your dreams but yeah well there are no winners to answer your question neither conversation is good alright so because your fantasy football expert i i by the way have taken minimize my life i drafted all bears in one of my fantasy league so now my my team in my fantasy team of the exact same makes a lot easier but tell us horrific before we get going to the good stuff give us one guy we all have to pick up right now after week one how about the folder he yeah he got in the ends are any the mighty texans led by us while we're on the guy i'm sorry to do that yeah i want to rub that in yeah you our i'm gonna put it put
little disclaimer on that the texans don't get to play the bears secondary every week so i want to say you know can we get all the good stuff where in fact this is the good stuff who cares about bears football two thousand and sixteen belongs to the cubs and i know you big cat along a lot other my my pals in chicago been suffering a long time so i'm before you then about a month from now you're gonna be celebrating its ground world's championship on the north side house will come in advance that's a dirty dirty thing you just did and i know where the anger is coming from the box goes the the the jake area and the cubs have owned the bach was and the buccos are you upset that they're not going to make it to the a playoff this year so they can lose in spectacular fashion look i suffered for twenty years out small potatoes next though what comes up in a bid to this isn't about the poconos in twenty we'll get back to them they
here let's talk about the here and now yeah strasburg is out there is no competition you guys are so much better than anyone else in the national league it's impossible to fathom you guys not getting to the world series and then from there momentum will carious america's routing for you fellow i've been dropping this on back since since like mid may i've been doing the magic number countdown so we're going to get a poster hanging up here saying chicago bears two thousand or chicago cubs two thousand and sixteen world series champions real quick while we're on fantasy a little bit grade my draft flacco flacco woodhead kuhn cole beasley jordy nelson greg olsen julian edelman then we just decide to tell other people about your fantasy peoples fantasy we all i see i see i got right so we talked about money i'm talking talking about tennessee i'm glad you know what i think jordy nelson is a big uh sort of
factor you know i wouldn't be surprised i didn't know what to think he would do in the first six eight weeks of the season but but he got end zone already for you so i'm more good news for big cat i know he's a big aaron rodgers at the user table it terrific passes i just drafted the hardest workers i can find i'm going to pray that it works out let's talk about the nfl you did you did mention would head in there right now obviously woodhead let's talk about week one of the nfl who had the bigger state in part two and two together until after the fact but that is a good looking tv thank you thank you not now you see it hi mom i mean it's all high motor guys yeah like a foot but you know what it is i don't care what position you put them in that just put him next to fp football player that should be allowed because you got a team of football place right i call him the coaches sons dad's on the field so there are coaches on the field but also it's a long thing anyways week one who had a bigger statement los the jaguars or the cowboys
thanks man the jags this was this was supposed to be it right they were they were going to take care of rogers and company this was their year this is what happens every year if you hear everybody on the face of the earth getting excited how to team around free agency or the draft then you know there is still a year away everybody declared that the book reader blake bortles was ready to turn the corner and so on but by their offensive line is bad and i think they go eight and eight this year so next year let's get excited about them now people say the same thing about the raiders and that was probably the most exciting game of the of the weekend jack del rio with his big balls going for two do you do you even the raiders this year do you believe in in a car at quarterback yeah but i i you know what i i i like going for two in that spot i don't understand you know tom when did that last year in the divisional round against the broncos when they were trying that
when they were down six at the end of the game and he was miked up and he said i want to go for two if we score here and people act like that's crazy i'm smart thing to do as long as you like your quarterback what's the likely what's the stronger likelihood the that that the quarterback who think is really good it's going to make two yards in one play or that you're going to win a coin flip but then your defense will stop the other guys but then you'll be able to score it seems like a sequence that's harder than that math doesn't add up as easily as like yeah just go make the two point superstar yeah dak prescott does he have the clutch gene i doubt that i assume you guys saw with terrance williams just did their running not running out about five seconds i mean if jack was a leader he would have thrown it close to the sideline right yeah but i saw your boy chaps he had the real insight there he really understands ball and what it's about to be a member of a team
after he said that terrence williams didn't want dan bailey to have to deal with the scrutiny of having missed a fifty five yard game winning field goal so he took it on his own shoulders so you know good for terrance williams i like this new couch bizzo because dac prescott is like you know he's he's a decent quarterback but they're still going to lose a lot of games and jerry's going to think that you know he's got the quarterback of the future it's like last year they lost all those games with brandon weeden and matt cassel and they looked like crap this year they're going to lose with a little bit of pizazz behind it that's true but i really can you imagine with the rams can say whatever they want right now but this is the day i'd like one double so you hate chair it's coming along man coffee he needs some time he was never a never went under center in college but never the less they the guy you went behind him dr school as threw a touchdown pass on
very first drive me that he was on the field now back prescott starting for america's team how many guys are gonna be end up being better than jared goff you really does doesn't he look okay i went just yes the the just a look at him when you see him he looks like a new horse doesn't he look like a horse that just came out it is trying to figure out how to walk away for lakeland terrier was a new horse at some point right hey dave guess what you live in la you know it's all about the looks out there he gets what he looks like a young kid fresh face and listen to god and none of this has to do with the fact that jerrod golf was wearing a barstool shirt on hard knocks an he might have some of our phone numbers and might be a big school stats has nothing to do with us defending him right now i'm sure has nothing to do with that yeah but it's by the way you guys gotta come out and trip the light fantastic in los angeles i know periods pro football out here right we were thinking about doing like assad do we can just cruising up and down the west coast and just hanging with all the cali teens
what do you what do you think about a vague esteem now what about that that that seems like that is realistic then that might be if you can get mark vagator mark davis in vague iss i think that's going to be an electric combination that guy was born for the glitz and the limelight that mark davis was born to eat a pita buffet every single gave his life let's just be honest right so like vegas would be the perfect home for him we do need to get to la because so some people who a lot of people don't know this but you also have a handsome hank we have to have a handsome hank off are handsome hank is actually addicted to in and out burger so we need to go to la ours is an english man who who loves the miami dolphins and hates all things english but i so i think i've seen your handsome hank he's fraudulent he's not i mean i mean he's hardly handsome at all i mean is a nice looking young man he said he certainly doesn't stack up with our handsome hank oh my god
what are the what are the order come out la one of the events can be a decathlon of some sort one of the events can be an in and out eating contest that's fine but we'll do that one but we didn't that let you know all manner of things i think it should be a renaissance man thing some tests of the intellect some of athleticism some may be emotional i don't want to bear share our bare bears your handsome hank does your handsome hank ever fall asleep in the middle of shows no he hasn't done that so he's so he's a pussy ok he's yeah he's afraid of getting fired ours isn't kind of a bad boy i like that that's it yeah i some hosts would
yeah i would think that's inappropriate and i think that you're really you know you're setting up expectations and i like that the other day that he he can be his own man yeah that was raised and if at and fall asleep if he's bored it adds to the charm is so we're like the punk rock sports podcast in who it and and you know you're doing a good show when your own producer falls asleep during it yeah that's when you know your captivating the audience i've had the i've had some producers i've talked to some producers who are who are back there and i can see they're not paying attention and then i'll have to find out what it is they're doing sometimes they're on facebook sometimes they're watching you know epl or something and and never it never sleeping so that's that's raising the bar i like that a lot good for your hands it's a great part about having producer that fall asleep is you always have somebody to blame about show on so that's a little tip from biz maybe you should downgrade your hank to like palatable hank instead of a handsome hank and then you look better in comparison hank is hank is terrance williams not going out of bounds so that we
yeah but do you find it it's motivating for you yeah like you know well listen we got a raise our game yes there was a hand and so make use are on yeah if if if thanks to sleep it's like okay who's going to be funny enough to wake him up yeah the answer is no but you have to call his mom and be like hey mrs hank can you a cake up what i would say i'll take a mock i'll take our hits a makeover yours any day let's head off let's talk about your pittsburgh steelers first question we we brought this up in our last show does big bend blocking on twitter no well i you know what he hasn't blocked me okay like all of twitter you know that right now you know what i got the the twin for open right here right now i don't think he is i would never disparage don't nobody said nothing awesome set
seventy five now i'm unblocked it's like locked it's like two hundred and thirty runs good turkey at two slash three of the earth is covered in water and the other third is blocked by big bend that seriously what they say i'm not joking he's blocked everyone on twitter alright so how are you feeling the steelers there's been a little super bowl talk this year do you feel ok knowing that you have that talk surrounding the team and that you have a team full of drug addicts it was too much wow listen so if you guys like like to take the marijuana here and there so what so they smoke a little drugs in their free time let's not get down about that let's not get up on mount pies but listen seven is still under center event is going to be better than expected i think at least not the secondary but the rest of am should be pretty good and look at the division the ravens people think the ravens are going to be good because they're called the baltimore ravens and so people assume that they're going to be good more often than not but there's no
reason to think that they are actually good deed bills browns are rg3 and since the last time we say them before today with that i mean to me that the great and that's our greatest thing to it this season is who we share the division with the last time the steelers are on the field with the bangles montez perfect ran off the field in celebration with ninety seconds still to go in the game and six of his teammates followed him vontaze burfict except that pass by later goes and wagged his finger like he was named after super bowl three running off the field wagging his fingers the crowd went crazy and
by the way why was that not a penalty that was that was not delay again to just get up and run off the field into the bowels of the stadium but anyway the steelers is you know came back in one that game and so that is my single favorite moment i know it sounds hyperbolic but it really is the greatest moment of me watching football in my entire lifetime vontez burfict running off the where wagging his finger and then losing the game ninety seconds later at such a dick thing to say because then we say oh dude like what about all the super bowls and then you have to be like well those super bowls were pretty fun so you know what fuck you are you are you concerned that the steelers are too heavily concentrated and invested in one coach that runs onto the field the other team shouldn't they have more people that can do that no no don't forget we also have mike munchak also pulled the hair of one of the bengal
the way we got our bases country has only got those damn you definitely don't want to get in a fight with mike tomlin puts his foot on the field you guys have the market cornered for coaches that are are cheated at that that think that their players yeah yeah it's like when a cat is playing with a dog x rays with puppies it grows up and it thinks that it's also but you guys have a bunch of coaches that think that they're suiting up and getting on the field so of course it's for the steelers to win if they've got thirteen players so i'm saying well yeah well let's that's right but you know what michael jordan also got calls that other players didn't get the steelers have six rings do intellect advantages as a result this is good this isn't classic pittsburgh delusion at all how often do you listen that's that song the here we go i don't like that one you gotta dig up the old one from the 70s there was a guy remember the guys name jimmy something or other and he would come out this would happen in playoff games before the games he would come out on the back of a pickup truck and he would sing the steeler polka and
eva terrible towel and the whole joint would sing the songs like dat dat dat dat dat where from the town with the super bowl teams pom pom pom pom go out and get them steelers icing that one i mean it's incalculable how many times i've sung and listen to that song in my life now are you are you one of those fans that like if i walked up to you and i had a terrible towel and i and i like threw it on the ground in and maybe rub my foot in it and like pissed on it would you try to fight me well i would lose that because id and i i would never be i don't think there's a grown man who walks the earth who i could defeat with the fisticuffs by that but i would be outrage that's for sure i will i will i will i will call someone that i would call someone more capable over to to take care you get some muscle okay right dave i saw that you're a doctor on wikipedia is that yeah doctor of mustard
yeah i've done a lot i had a lot of good work in the field of food in general but i you know i i i also like to really concentrate i'm condiments and i've advanced some important thoughts on mustard specifically i don't think there is any situation that yellow mustard is better than dark mustard i don't know what what why under what circumstance would you say no no hold the dark i'll take the yellow and so one two i also think it would provide a lot of time savings if you didn't have to articulate
which do you want the yellow or do you want the dark well which i do you mean the deli mustard that takes that's only like a seven second yeah exchange where but if you add up all the time you do that over a lifetime that's like twenty minutes yeah and then like you have an extra twenty minutes to play with at the end of your life so that's that's that's that's your time yeah so i i've done that for the world and so as a result i was honored by the mustard institute and it's a real place it was constant i was given that my doctor on thank you very proud of that changing lives what do you think about honey mustard you know i'm alright with it uh i feel that it likely is going to ultimately go the way of the sun dried tomato oh you know sun dried tomato had about a half dozen years at the top you know everybody restaurant was making with it and then just vanished you know went the way of the dodo bird honey mustard it's fine it's here now
enjoy it but i i won't miss it when it's gone tomorrow absolutely is mustard for children so we're pretty passionate about mustard on this show too we did amount rushmore of mustards earlier this summer what's on your mount rushmore you know i go to fancy i go i give me the goldens you know is a nice one just a nice brown kelly mustn't that's all i i you know i i will like i will dabble in some of those carolina region kind of vinegar based mustards to put on your barbeque that can be very nice the one exception i'll make to a yellow mustard is the chinese restaurant mustard that super hot one but you can't really eat it too much 'cause it really clears out your sinus is you have to
dead yeah you very you know very conservative with your distribution of it right we're obviously eight people as the show know that work we're guys guys were guys were guys do not the obvious yeah so much and so on right you just we walk around we exude dude are you were in the man show writing room was that the guy asked guy room of all time like how many remain we the people just fart i just what i imagine somebody at all times you know the thing that i think maybe the finds it best i'm trying to yeah i was it was what was crazy about that is about doing that show what is that that we were do one show every three weeks and at the time but none of us had really ever done any other shows before so it just felt like man this is hard churning out these pages every day
let me show every three weeks it was the it was the it was the it what we kind of know was we were lucky but in hindsight it was the greatest gift of all time i imagine that you have to come up with twenty minutes worth the content about that you know little bit every three weeks or so but yeah the thing that defines it mailing was adam carola would start each day um in my office with you know sal who's on the kimmel show all the time he and i had an office and um would always come up there and it which and was just past the the the bathroom on the floor but he would he would come to our office go right by the bathroom and he would take out the coffee the coffee pot and into it and then he would set it on the window sill
the morning light that california light the way it would hit that that that it was it was gorgeous it was a gorgeous hue of gold golden it real started the day off right it was like a ray of sunshine to inspire you to to make your pages for the day now you also code for battle bots for a little bit who's a better after the robots or adam corolla who was like who's interact with the robots from battle bots or actually listen a nice man and everything but you know he knows that he's an imperfect guy you can't well how like he be able to match up with ziggo the middleweight champion champion of battlebots circa two thousand and three or whatever we just we just recorded commercial earlier today and we had to act a little bit in our dogs are honestly better actors and we were just
back in guys were too genuine i think is our problem that can really were so real that i can't put myself in like another person choose that's that's probably my biggest flaw yeah absolutely right this has been a great time we would to have you back yeah by the way hey can i i would like to come back to but just real quick because i gave you the gift of congratulations in advance i did pull up i know that pft commenter he's very keen on that elite but maybe it's getting a little bit tired a lead in case anybody gets there's all our website called power thesaurus dot org there are no fewer than six hundred and twenty sevens synonyms for the word elite i encourage you i mean a lot of them are good upper crust you know what they say in upper crust qb you know that might be a fun way to go if you have six hundred and twenty seven definitions you don't really have one so well i mean aristocratic that would be neat yet sattar is he a jet setter qb i'll i'll consider arkansas joe flacco is not a job
i did i did retire the flaquer meter last year because i agree with you once donald trump addressed flackers alina is like where else can we go from here but you know every now and then you need to kind of check in on it you need to just take the pulse yeah now with the real thing turn your cap and i think america recognize that at the time even if trump didn't we got three final questions we ask all of our guests the first one do you wash your apples of course yeah gotta rinse them off a little bit and take that little sticker off nothing else and that's probably why you got fired from the man show do you think that i was there the other day we want you just talked or you're off about how like you if you eliminated one option for mustard you would save twenty minutes of your life you stopped watching apples that's probably like probably two hours do you want me
but so what so what's the alternative to ingest though why is your apple i commando you peel off the sticker we're not savages but then you just i've probably in one or two studies i mean you can eat the sticker if you want that's fine see you but i mean you just take the apple or like that right just like adam did back in the garden of eden yeah it's good enough for him know why people i don't know why people take the red skin off of it that's the pleasure isn't it the snap of the imagine the first guy by the way who bit into an apple it's dark red on the outside what was inside i mean that must imagine i'm here yeah i don't need to i don't need to imagine because i've been another school yeah it was adam he looks like say his name put some respect on his name please second last question most famous person in your cell phone
um maurice jones drew oh i don't know is that good one yeah well call kimmel jimmy call jimmy nfl sunday or just give me a call i don't know wait a second oh it so well on the phone with you can i call kimmel right now what happens can i how do i make it work so you can hear now you got to be on your computer okay well all right we're gonna get we're gonna i'm let you off the hook on this one but next time call your gonna skype us from your computer i got a better one who's more famous camel or jon hamm a k a don draper you know what we should bring him on for some pure a one to one he should do like
marketing yeah yeah all wow wow that's a great idea do you have a lot of good ideas for you on that you're friendly with jon hamm do people talk about his in front of them i i you know what they they really don't i think he is you know he's one of these guys he said he he he wants to be the regular guy is so weird thing like what would i forgot so people don't talk about his wiener because i feel like that's one of those like it's almost showing off at some point like you know how much how much else do you need to be given in this life you know you get play the coolest character you're a handsome devil everywhere you go women swoon now also this you know it's too much alright yeah but i mean if he's a regular guy you gotta bust his balls like hey man what's up with you on the way over
i think you guys should do like to admit well i've i've tried a little bit but that as a matter of fact i did the bus these jobs a little bit about it and i don't think he liked it okay so what we'll try it we're gonna try to coordinate will get john him on sometime and won't spend fifteen minutes just making fun of you know why you would like you you would really love him too because he is as big a cardinals fan i know met i i know is i know he is early only drinks uh i don't know he drinks now but he i've been i've seen it he only drinks bud long necks police used to like i said but now it appears in the world only budweiser you always with the cardinals had an aura saint louis blues cap that's a guy who's trying to slum it slum it up with his friends 'cause he knows his penises
well if you see him tell him congrats on the rams for us yeah yeah yeah please please send us yeah tell him we're so happy for the rams they look like they're going to have a great year this year alright last question question i'm going to ask that you don't have to answer but i'm going to ask anyway you were a big swimmer when you were a kid what was it like growing up as a nerd first of all that's you know i i can't believe that wika pedia has some faulty information in there apparently i saw that my wikipedia page says that i was a state champion in swimming 'cause of web feet so yeah i mean i i don't know about any of that what is true is my doctorate mustard but the last yeah i was i was a nerd and it was a tough time to be sure i didn't talk to any girls but then again it really has made me appreciate talking to girls as an adult so i guess
this is a silver lining gives i saved all my good conversation maybe i don't know i don't know how it would have gone if i had attempted to talk to a girl when i was sixteen or seventeen it might have gone badly and it might have shattered me an i don't know where i would be right but think about it this way right like you obviously didn't have a normal adolescence talking to women but then you came out just fine put him on tv jumping on trampolines in their bikinis like that's pretty normal that's right that's right that's exactly that informed that right that that might might far i mean is it is it is a pretentious the called art it was my craft you know it was art all right thank you so much everyone check out dam scheck's new show one week old nfl network
what is it called finished inference fancy a friend an essay and friends also the damage check football program pft commenter you come out anytime you want big cat been already made an appearance here it's okay we love to have both of you are either and handsome hank when you come out to la at some point let's get it on with the castle on you started following me on twitter again i'll consider going on the show is that what i do i don't follow that right now i thought i did follow it i see every tweet the u s home maybe that's because big cat home get me out of i'm fixing it now pst that interview was brought to you by draftkings dot com football back in it's time to celebrate draftkings hosting another free fantasy contest this weekend yes we had one last weekend we have one again this weekend put your fantasy knowledge to test
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one hundred thousand dollars that's the total prize packagedraftkings dot com go right now eligibility restrictions may apply see website for details alright do you like that little i did the little and this is sal south pole antonio espn that was good it was like the rachel nichols rachel nichols espn alright let's do some segments hit me alright i know it's a big football weekend but we have some baseball news thoughts and prayers baseballs dead yeah or a p september tenth two thousand and sixteen the day baseball was officially neutered copy that was from your boy cj nick kowski he said this after rich hill was pulled during a perfect game 'cause he had heat on his finger which is a sign of blisters people know that if they know rich hill and if they know baseball blisters so he was upset because the point of base
close to pitch perfect games not to keep people healthy especially like rich hill who's always hurt but yeah so this is never happened before in the history of baseball no no perfect games no perfect game is ever been interrupted by pulling somebody out before go ahead or anything like that i think it has happened yes but this time it's for this time it's the end it hurts right time it's like a dagger i think that the real thoughts and prayers should be the baseball just for football in general yeah i i honestly believe that if you if you were to take trent dilfer and just like observe him for a week and just cancel all baseball it would take him probably it would take him longer than a week for him to realize that major league baseball was no longer just didn't exist yet yeah i mean that's fair it's tough it's tough when baseball goes up right against football but this was this was funny to me just because anyone who knows rich hill it's like of course you're going to all the guys a blister freak so let's look at
heat on the finger real quick and let me let me start using this terminology like if i got a cold sore coming to get a little heat on the lips yeah watch out for that what is heat on the finger literally heat on the finger i believe you're not a doctor but your finger feels warm yeah and that's a sign of a blister coming sometimes when i'm typing out takes i get that feeling every now go i should just kind of pull myself out of the bullpen ok yeah type with gloves on you guys know what sport still alive but oh god get out of here yeah either way out about lacrosse so many times today i really appreciate yes because it was in no way knee jerk and totally overblown because who would ever forget september tenth the day rich hill pitched a perfect game but guess that's a great point also looks like baseballs on the come back because they signed
popular tim tebo to play bass yeah so that's how you get your name that's how you get back in the news ok so let's take back that rip for every every death there is rebirth and tim tebow is rising again to help baseball like christ just once more also not to be a guy who blaber's anatomy here but when you neuter someone i don't think they die so so baseball just doesn't have it was neutered no more nuts but it's i think it's still alive just yeah they can't reproduce anymore so ri p feel free to have baseball with no repercussions right right i can you get an std if baseball has no ok now if you get if you get a vasectomy you can't give anybody an std so do whatever you want with baseball oh now baseball is entering its like old empty nest years you know you hear about people go down to florida old people there having sex all the time in the retirement villages that's what baseball is going to be like
klay all we found out was cj makowski just announced baseball it no longer has to pull out so that's nice so could drive release yeah congrats baseball right you you have to you thanks for me i do okay first one here it is it down i wanna make sure you guys all sitting if you're listening to this on headphones sit down where you are the opposite american flag rg three is hurt again but you thank you got torched by aj green a few times i just basically look like a clown all day but the the better you think is robert griffin is hurt again all no way you think i don't want it i have to be careful how i say this but i'm i say it does seem that good name for segment yeah i don't want to say this but robert griffin looks hilarious when he gets injured whole areas the dude is like he's all arms and legs he looks like stretch armstrong yeah yeah
he's just like his legs just kind of flop even even when he's not getting in he looks like he's about to get injured it's this weird look like hill in the end he does this thing where you side arms while he's going out of bounds and it looks like all his bones it and like muscles are failing him just flop in different directions if he is really funny to watch he he could be like when the top three physical comedians of all time america's one is videos if you want to revive that with bob side it let's just watch rg three highlight his body is just arms and legs that could that if there's no thorax his body shape like an asset record he's got back yeah shaped like asterix and so when he gets it it's just it's a comedy penned we'll what it what's injury this time he sprained a shoulder on okay he's big on like announcing the he's hurt after games man guess what i'm all in for next week yep yep he's going to fight through it and let you know so robert griffin he's hurt again you think
no door you of all the segments that by far is like the closest to ira and the douche and i love it yeah well you had a quick as a white guy yeah trent dilfer myrtleford came in hot with one of the best as a white guys of all time the quote was he was talking about capper nick and he said the big thing that hit me through all this was this is backup quarterback whose job is to be quiet and sit in the shadows and get the starter ready to play week one yet he chose a time where all of a sudden he becomes a center of attention and it has disrupted that organization so he accurately points out that the 49ers they're ready to go man this was their year yep and capper nick just absolutely shredded the morale and to be fair trent said that he's read over thirty articles about the situation of reading for trend that's careful there trend
i hurt yourself you know there's such a thing as too much knowledge i think once you read like there's a point of limited terms and once you read like you're twenty seventh or twenty eighth article about something i think you pretty much absorb all of it but trent says from these articles that a backup quarterback should just they should shut up and get started ready so trent as as one legendary starting quarterbacks in the history of the league he knows what he wants out of his backups and as a white guy he said all this next to his new colleague randy moss where in you must know the lock on the other end yeah yeah he said all of them i like this though the this theory that colin capper nick has screwed up the 49ers mojo you know i mean you know firing hi jim harbaugh having a public meltdown between the front office and the coach then hiring panic to coach the team for a year then bring in chip kelly then having a fullback who just beat the fuck out of a seventy year old but yet colin capper nick is real
a view one point to one thing that kind of derailed the forty niners that's probably it hey i can give you a hundred percent but as we i think we point this out earlier but he's really given chip kelly about a lot of excuses huge out and like if i'm chip kelly i love college i'm signing into an extension yeah like max max deal type stuff i say a little prayer at night yeah chip kelly like he gets down on his knees he talks out the side of his mouth he's like thank god for calling because whatever i do this year i can blame it on him having a good quarterback is worth you know twenty five million guaranteed year having a good scapegoat is worth more than that prices have surprised us you know what master card that was brought to by visa it's i think it's a mastercard is that same thing yeah they're they're desist last mastercard says the other listen yeah there they merged k that's another great thing that sports fans like to do is hold up the like prices
xx money xx money priceless that's still really current and with it love it when that's on tv right we have sabermetrics this one was great a good and proper roasting from our guy jack del rio who is a football guy he went for two when they were down by one point with about forty seconds i scored a touchdown well i remember this exact score it was a lie is the saints or was probably so i'm going to like yeah definitely yeah forty four to forty three am ya really right yeah it turns out that rob ryan i think still is on that team so that defense when they give up like a ninety nine yard run all right yeah i've seen this before from the states but anyway right jack del rio the espn stats and info tweet out after the game based on espn's win probability model raiders had fifty one chance to win if they kick the point after and forty four percent chance if they went for two del rio who is on
letter he wrote back he quoted their tweet and said good thing espn isn't coaching the raiders such a burn such a sabermetrics guy yeah and when i loved was nate silver responded to it 'cause nate silvers model actually had like fifty one percent would nate likes to do is he likes to release these models after things happened yeah so conveniently he also likes to release models that i don't know if you've known seen this but the polls the the the trump hillary polls it's like he pulls plus it's like you know that hillarys at forty five intro forty one but there is a variance of six percent yeah so so basically the paul tells us nothing but the poll plus there's a variance of eight percent right silver builds into his stats like an entire part of it that's just a maybe yeah so he asked when i could be wrong here yeah right it's genius that's probably why you got hired espn yeah i love it so but there's some there's some nerd fighting going on between espn stats and info department and five
so rick this is about to be lit and we're not all and we're not involved a stir this up with for just as jack del rio own a praying mantis that's all i want to know and nobody owns espn right now it's a big set of balls yeah all right respect the biz fine really i don't know we had we had a pr one hundred and one first wanted to quickly in american flag american flag needs a little pr one hundred and one because i think people have been disrespecting it quite often but we haven't won a world war in awhile so maybe
the american flag needs a little bit of updating their a lot of kids out there they don't really realize guess what you know what's really cool not skipping school not smoking cigarettes and dancing to rap music the american flags cool so we need to maybe it needs to be updated a little bit get a hot brand on there what do you thinking i don't know it's tommy hilfiger still cool it's like the same color as well just in general i'm thinking this is a huge opportunity to sponsor the american flag but why why doesn't the american flag like slap a logo on there may be big dog sketch it for a couple years good opportunity to make some money hellman's hellman's sponsored the american flag great way to bring in new revenue yep the united states army sponsors the american flag for a couple years you guys know how they'll have
will hold the american flag at the national anthem yeah danny amadola is one of those people that guess what the american flag that's here one hundred and one right there yeah i have long had the idea of jif t shirts science hasn't caught up with my brain but what if we made all the american flags into gifts and put him on a t shirt no just like instead of flags there so just have civil waving yeah are there waving feel like right now we're j pegs okay and we need to update and you've updated when you get in the twenty two to twenty sixteen right so are you saying make them jeff's other waving american flag yeah just jeff of any note jeff like we raise a jeff of an american flag waving in the wind there you go i think we just saw hold that's it right there to bring it in high tech kids don't understand the american flag today because you can't it's not digital right ok get it online get it
it's offline get it online american flag of twitter no who the is in charge of stuff this we need to fire some people golfing yeah yeah come on and then hillary passed out so she's like basically dead rp hillary thoughts and prayers hillary clinton alright finally respect the biz this is sad did you watch this fight i didn't know ok so see m punk he finally after two years of training still kind of flabby i don't understand how that works he trained for two years to be a fighter and he still had like that like skinnyfat role did he go by cm punk in the octagon yeah came out to his to his fight wrestling song everything he got beat so badly and it wasn't if you're if you're cm punk you'd actually prefer to have just gotten knocked out he got tackled and we're just kind of flailing on the ground while the guy just punched him in the face it was it was is all of like a big brother
i'll bring a little brother and then hitting the little brother with his own fists that's what it looked like and then the choke him out after a couple minutes and cm punk not only will you be a mma fight a respected this yeah i did that that's kind of the tim tebow thing words i'm gonna i can be anything if i put my mind to it cm punk doesn't have the mind to put to in the first place i think his problem is he took too long if you say you want to be an mma fighter you gotta be in the octagon within sixty days because then you can say well i just i just started training dude i just started brazilian jujitsu yesterday see him punk has been training for two years and that's what he has to show for himself just bad matchup also cacina white should have thrown him like a cupcake didn't match up well with that guy yeah should've gone with the guy that sucked maybe first i will
this so cm punk he does now have cauliflower ear so that was a bonus 'cause now people will talk with him now it looks like a fighter yeah exactly that's something that we should consider doing is starting reconstructive surgery place to give people call flow we should just start boxing hanks years until he gets cauliflower so that we have one person in the crew that looks like a fighter and then hang star enforcer yeah like that thank you will put infliction teacher thank you cool with us hey you know who who got as yours box in beethoven look how he turned out people forget that you have a certain yeah i called flower first golf our ears metric that's why they had to turn him around at the podium see the audience 'cause he was too concussed from sparring yeah he didn't know which way the audience was common misconception i have a real shout out oh yeah i wanted to hear your shout out before we send it off a big shout out to my boy della vedova congratz mate good on ya engaged over the weekend going to stop that could only a daddy
getting into gauge to equality bird asked quite a sealer you've hit your wagon too so danny is engaged i was calling but i was coming to delhi is that's so racist of you just to call the white guy danny whatever dude that's racist your okay what we'll do that i would head danny too yeah yeah i do yeah we'll leave that out okay hank excel word document that i was i want your racism out for everyone to see bleep it out so delis engage and then he tweeted instagrammed he said the best mate i could ever have off in my life so shots fired at lebron kind of like a subtweet lesnicki software little plans lebrons oone game there but shut up to danny he got engaged on his birthday so he'll never forget that right there my friend is a power move yeah that's what they do in australia yeah it's still a culture where a man can be a man now the only question
does this fiance realize she's gotta live in milwaukee i know i think they're probably the thing where i always on that an australian has is like australian family in australia and then he's permitted to have an american family yeah it's not full of convicts in states and he's got the delis got like some some some blind blind check me barb yeah who's you know making him some some bronson fondue i i i forget though you view no dollars going from clue milwaukee's let's take we an upgrade so that's it it is an upgrade so what's yeah that's a new segment shout out shout outs shots all right that is our show and reminder we are going to have the blake bortles pedia club sometime this week we're in a little bit of a pickle don't know text blake 'cause they lossed so we'll just see what happens i might throw the ha ha like hey you want to still do this haha well yeah we'll see i'll let every
know how it goes and larry to make sure you tune in for larry toothpicks and finally mount rushmore video check it out we did a mount rushmore video with stanford steve and scott van pelt it is the bracket mount rushmore from this summer to decide the best mount rushmore kind of little late other places like it's like the hamlet centipede yeah human centipede or hamlet either one they both are technically the same thing check it out it's awesome stanford steve scott van pelt part of my take football guys
all right we'll see you wednesday
Transcript generated on 2019-10-31.