« Pardon My Take

NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recap Of Every Game + Football Guy Of The Week

2019-09-09 | 🔗

Football is back and we're trying out something new. No guest on Monday's in the fall. We start with the Fastest 2 minutes then get into a recap of every Sunday Game with overreactions and weird tangents (2:2 8 - 9:34). Antonio Brown is a Patriot and Mike Tomlin deserves an apology (9:34 - 73:39). Who's back of the week (73:39 - 80:45) Football Guy of the Week. The debut of our newest segment "Do Your Pod" and Stay Classy Philly for fighting Sixers player Mike Scott (80:45 - 94:24)

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
well today's party might my take week one recap the fastest two minutes are coming up and we have no guest is the first time we've done no guest ever i think we did it right after the masters when we just got started that's right yeah that's right so throwback but here's the deal we're going to inox actually explain it once we start the show but we have no guess we're going to all football all that i'm going to whip around the whole league we have to talk about college football we got some segments we got who's back we gotta pack show is going to start with the fastest two minutes right after i talk about the cash app pardon my take it by the cash out the cash app is most powerful way to send spend and save you already know the cash of his number one finance app in the app store what you might not know is that you can also put cash app in your wallet with the cash card it's the only debit card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features not even a credit card can offer like bruce
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the cash out now and get your cash card for free visit the apps store or google playstore now and of course when you download the cash app and enter the referral code barstool your c five dollars in the cache apple send five dollars as pca a true win win so download the cash out to day okay let's go my two cents five dollars for free five dollars as pca today is monday september ninth we want
we start in north carolina come on raise up take your shirt off twist around your head spin it around like a helicopter sean make vape call the jewel of a game and had the clout well eric weddle had all the drip with more blood on his face and patrick chung after a long weekend in new hampshire christian buy one get one mccaffrey had two tv's and ron jeremy rivera scored but couldn't finish as the cats were the ones that got ram ram starting pitchers twenty seven soon spread in cleveland tower where the superbowl champ rounds took the field against the titans what a guillotine ready to drop on mike rebels battle ready catcher nightmares was absolutely hopeless might with the browns unable to get the running game going and the offense overall didn't have enough juice landry mayfield could only muster up a baker's dozen points despite the fact that odell beckham had enough carrots on his wrist to make this game a piece of cake derrick henry hello and markets ray liotta we're good fellas has a love hands a heist at all the joy from the upstart forty three prospecting to florida where the start thoroughbred with a low marty trophy hanging between his legs nick foles had to be shot after a first quarter injury semi sweet heart walk ins prove that you never find love at the jacksonville shore as the jags have to hit the gym ten bath salts in order to compete with the afc's best ball rolled miles
just stop got kicked out of the game for acting like someone called am afraid oh in the backyard of dj's in bel mar the league mvp patrick mahones had three hundred and seventy eight yards and three touchdowns in and press i'm waiting for more from patrick we take it down to patrick patrick i thought we played pretty well down there shooting he's the real mccoy yes yes he had no look pass i threw up under the third row that was my map that's on me much pretty heckin tough keep your eyes on travis kelsey when you got home from jacks fans up there in the pool wearing their nifties dungarees there almost a mystical practice he garnered mature when his little flavor saver mustache there can't even begin to tell her how much catchup uh get caught in that little room broom if i had one they hey patrick you got some heinz fifty seven stuck on your lip heck yeah i do i'm saving myself a little bit for midnight snack thanks patrick
chiefs forty jaguars twenty six we stay in florida were once upon a time in hollywood brown was written tarantino for the dolphins defense with great footwork and lamar samuel jackson do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in miami as a quarterback did it look like a bridge or a wide receiver on somebody shot i'll pull pull the child of kill bill belichick pride floors his debut and the film session was charlie b what like a flame thrower i was not even the pair to josh rosen could save this movie from turning into a remake of the cold chopper make japanese fishermen fifty nine often struck what happened at all they could go never mind in san diego where marlins man max stood out on television as the star of the show and t y quilt stayed hot despite blanket coverage melvin gordon bombay was directed to stay away from his team but that didn't stop phil rivers from throwing three mighty ducks to the end zone he's getting there switching back and forth between keenan ray allen in austin necklace the colts are out a lot as they fall in overtime thirty twenty four and no metal wires were frank i'll gore grounded the drug store to their excess of carbon emissions sam was much too young to feel this darn old for a second year player lebron saved by the bell's screech back into the nfl but the judge did the least down the stretch losing the game late in the fourth and change no word circle the wagons like buffalo seventeen
to the pacific northwest where louis c k metcalf was really feeling himself when it was a seattle defense that was able to zip up the red rock to seal the victory zac efron taylor's coaching debut ended up extremely wicked shockingly evil and vile and the new look bangles or the same old as a fall late to the seahawks twenty one twenty he's not driving the ball down the field to the great white north where dalvin cookie monster left and right punched out of paris we will make i will not be otherwise my coach they read will take more complete above average kirk cousins littered up going for ten for ninety eight yards and finally got a win against a five hundred to the zero one zero atlanta falcons wide x twenty eight thirty parts plus they know the corner chambers with if you forty niners thirty one buccaneers seventeen ten and three in the day you were dr press conference was making jerry jones look like a huge for not giving him that it's been that big extends john kerry's a great mistake to john wilkes monday night football put before being assassinated scoring a sixty ninth career touchdown in style what the robot everybody do the robot everybody do the robot i'm already got the old mr football randall cobb salad with shaking and bacon meg on the new york second are look like blue swiss trees and what else can you say about eli manning tell why thirty five dot new york football giants seventy and we're back it all feels so good to be back for you great to be back week one almost in the ball
so we still got two monday night games which they always should have two monday night games but you don't have to get mad that because we have all the football in front of us it was a glory week one we have a special part of my take we're doing something new this fall we're going to try it out so let us know what you think we love feedback we love you know getting fee
back in and fixing the show and doing things for the show to make it better for you so if you really like this one just tell a suck my dick yet no no no don't do that do that no gas me on today show because we're going to focus on football and football only we will maybe have gas on mondays if something big happens or we have a huge gas that we have to get out in a timely fashion but we're gonna give this a shot really the guest is the spirit of football in the show yeah and also the fact that we're so narcissistic that we think that we know more about football than any yes that we could have on well here's the honest truth of it we figured that out when we have guests on mondays usually we feel like we can get to talk about all the games we wanted to and then we drop like a two hour podcast we feel like that was that's a burden on you so we're going to give you all the football all you want let us know what you think also if you want to watch us part might take gold bars to will dot com slash p empty high hi so hi so let's do it so here's what we're gonna do if you have any negative feedback about the show the person who's in charge that is all business pds so make leaders right hand at him and he's got the new nhl coats
so cool he's got the nhl xbox one and playstation is your work ask for this code that's pretty great and the people could come out okay so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna whip around the league where to go or a touch on every game we're gonna overreact because that's the best part about week one my favorite part a week one is whatever you see that is what's going to happen for the rest of the year even though we have years and years of evidence that that's not the case but that's how our brain work yeah absolutely i think if you don't overreacting you're not really reacting in this league yeah so perfect teams perfect game to start with are overreactions titans bra yes the browns stink they stink the tightened it looks like mike variable is going to have to chop his dick off because the titans defense looked as good as any team any air unit in the league well here's the thing with the browns all the hype all
talk and we're baker guys and i actually do believe the browns are going to be fine but the one thing we kind of forgot with all this hype oh they have odelo freddy kitchen is a baker you know whisper oh baker is going to be unbelievable having an office of what is actually important in the nfl it does help curb rounds off its alliance thinks and then greg robinson got kicked out for kicking a player in the faces are two problems with the browns one is the office of line i think the second is the burden of having expectations yes and that is a city that does not know what to do with expectations and i to be honest i don't blame them at coming from a fan base in the washing our words that never as expectations you get confused sometimes when you when you think you're in love right and you over react to things and you start making plans for the future we need to slow down a little bit in cleveland that's okay
had his game where you know what he's doing he's put a little food and count calories dish all set out how you power to heck i'll go head you eat up for a little bit you you get one week of servicemen so it's socks account word is is smiling ear to ear he's are going up my whole show set up here's a the one thing i will say about the brownstones face browns fans don't do what you been doing i've seen on twitter where you say well it's the browns and we know one really thought they were going to be that good no you didn't don't don't be ashamed of it we are a pro browns podcast we have your back it's ok to have high expectations and have them just completely flame out in the first week it's a long season i do think that this is a case of like we talk
all offseason about the browns the browns continue say it's okay we don't buy in our own hype you kind of did you know how i know you did you had eighteen penalties for hundred eighty two yard sack rate that is the team that bought their height because you have those type of games where everything goes wrong and you basically shoot yourself in the foot over and over that to me means it's a team that thought they could just roll out the helmets and kick the out of the titans yeah no i i agree it one of the thing from that game that i thought was laugh out loud funny was just the visual of jim nance showing up in cleveland just gymnast walking around clean too how weird is that and he hated it there is very it was obvious that he didn't like the browns you didn't like the city he probably went to like six bottles of pure role just like walking around just like taos ski took showers in in hand sanitizer entire we can he was making fun of freddie kitchens for being a former
used car salesman as like jim nance do you don't you golf every single day right you drive a golf cart that's basically used car that your putter around all the time that is the perfect encapsulation of the brown type the fact they sent jim nance and tony romo their week one and i think browns fans were even shock like wait what yes is yeah okay this is uncomfortable arm o'dell's watch do i i don't know a kid to leave his gabby licking his lips looking at things holy shit like that it was worth two hundred thousand dollars yeah it was yeah two hundred and fifty or something like five hundred jesus christ i can't wait till it smashes on the sideline freddy kitchen will prob no actual i don't think you'll do anything i think he saw antonio brown stuff we're going to get to get to all that but the other thing i i wrote down was i am now making a new rule new rule i just came up with the phrase new rule whenever my crable
is under estimated bent on him i feel like this happens every single time the titans were like the titans stink their you know their offense is boring at marcus mariota isn't the guy that did it last year when they played the patriots i feel like mike variable is a perfect guy who can get his team up for games like that and derrick henry played really well and when my other take away from that was when derrick henry runs with the ball for long distances he looks like he has to go to the shooter yeah he's got this like little fat guy waddle to him but he goes fast is like a fat guy with the most explosive diarrhea that you've ever seen your life so in the long run he's actually pretty quick but he does not run like a fast guy does the good news for the browns will end the browns titans of this of good news for browns fans your next game won't be on national television in front of everyone wait what
we're going playing the jet someone a football okay well he's just the jets is that all that's going to be a whole leaves town loop well i'm not certain circle it occurs in the field against the jets circle it people lose their sound all right away is bigger healthy he had a pretty broken hand afterwards it was wrapped up true he's healthy no i'm not going to do that as a baker guy he's going to fix it he's fine the problem might be where he is cleveland come on clay are you got off your you got off all your jokes then i'll just send you got off all your job on this and maybe i need to leave my wallet whatever their stadium is next game we're doing ravens dolphins he likes the ice the ice best way to put it lamar jackson is the new joe flacco in not in the fact that he is he's better than joe flacco but in the fact that everyone sees what they want to see with lamar jackson so when lamar jackson does well the victory people were taking on twitter was obscene and if he
as poorly the next game the victory laps that people will say that he's not really a good quarterback good passing quarterback will be obscene he's in his cell and played what like eight games are nine games he had an unreal game five touchdowns seventeen for trade they kept on just going to red zone it was just a wide open guy usually hollywood brown scoring for the ravens i can't remember a game quite like this where it it was like a
well you can't i don't think that you can watch this game and say that the mark jackson isn't a good passer no he was a very good use it often you that's was right that's true but like he was a good pass correct he was hitting long to use it short or was he was hitting like the intermediate to touch passes i know what you're saying in right and that it will it will always be a litmus test will be week to week or how he does right he has like one bathroom you'll be like see i told you in many has one great great throwing like all my god look at death row but also the ravens adapted their offense this offseason by finally starting to me they can play wide receiver yeah which helps with yes some nothing that they've ever done in the history of the ravens i'm just saying that this is it will mark jackson the the the like twitter dialogue is in soft top what he would say it's toxic both ways it's so annoying like let's just watch this guy play and we can make an assessment maybe when he plays sixteen games the nfl the committee was on believe the concerned at this point is can you do it up with his legs is the last of izzie get enough run quarterback or is he just like one of those statue guys it goes back to and been cards yep it's a good question the dolphins yes your dolphins might my miami dolphins first of all i miami don't i feel bad for josh rosen i don't think
i think josh rosen will when his career is done will look back and be like that guy had the worst situations possible he got in and is josh rosen stat stat line one for three five yards i love that he managed to squeeze that went in there for it we needed it but your miami dolphins your seven win miami down tonight yeah you said they'd win seven games that will get fifty nine to ten
find me seven game let me just say about the dolphins real quick they've never fully recovered from bobby petrino we're still living in the wake of bobby petrino once he fucks you over if you're a football team if you're a woman you're going to be left with some incurable disease for the next fifteen years there that's how the guy works and officer still reeling from that if they do go and sixteen i'd like to make a motion that everybody every player in the nfl get to smash a bottle of dom pairing jan on mercury morris's pelvis i think if they go oh and sixteen you should have to get to know in sixteen dolphins tattoo because you said they're going to install on my stomach yes unforgotten undefeated yes the find me seven wins let me look at the schedule record they're so fucking ok so the dolphins can still get i'm not done with this take yet next week patriots at dolphins ok that's easy dolphins always managed when again gets patriots right now oh
okay so that's one then they go to the cowboys that's probably a loss just give me the wind okay okay chargers at dolphins chargers are going east yeah there was nice red skins at dolphins yeah i'm gonna take the dolphins on that one okay at the bills probably not going to the list here just give me the winds the steelers is going to be antonio brown revenge game because he'll be traded to the dolphins by then yeah that's another one they're gonna be the jets at home they're going to be three
maybe that one of them include it is talking about the patriots who might not lose a game this year they're gonna be the eagles at home again going east oh also here's what i'm forgetting ryan fitzpatrick the great part about ryan fitzpatrick he's played on so many teams that he has so many revenge games built into every schedule yes so he is yes revenge game boom there's one bills twice revenge game there's two more right up to my head ryan fitzpatrick officially through a touch or when he threw a touchdown for the dolphins today he's throwing a touchdown for one quarter of the leak that was the for that with that it's an unbelievable stat only right that's bad okay do that he also had what is it interception for a different team as well so it's most all times for any quarterback i'll make it real simple for you to win against the bills to wins to get that's for revenge games the patriots because in a joking man always build fine they always beat them bangles revenge game
the browns because the browns will have already locked up the number one seed by november twenty fourth there you go boom seven whatever ones for my doll is good news for the dolphins the locker room is now saying that they all want to be treated every single one of them there's a big muny going on literally every single one of them want to be treated i just yeah why not yeah and the thing is if you i was actually going through the dolphins roster and my my general rule of thumb is as many players on a team as you can name within five seconds hugo alonzo that's typically as many wins as will have that season kygo lonzo this patrick josh rosen got once three hundred and thirteen or seven hundred and nine alright next game i fucking hate the falcons i'm done with the falcons
walking hate the falcons you can't wear the most frustrating team i've ever watched ever bet on i bet on them pretty much every single week because every single week i'm like not right julio jones calvin ridley demonte freeman if you can make it look the same principle you can name all these offense of stars and they suck and they do the same thing every time the red zone flips to the falcons they're going in for a touchdown and then the the fumble or you know get stopped on a third down they are so bad is not even sarkeesian anymore right you're not even sarkisian and only time i want to see the falcons on red zone is when mohammed said new is throwing a pass that's the only time they ever scare so they are the most frustrating team in the world if you're a falcons fan i feel bad for you i don't even know i mean i have to be done with him have to go i have to go to rehab to quit betting on the falcons
it's basically the seahawks when after they lost okay i also have my book the i gonna true though well it's a little bit tricky it's extremely true does not take it everywhere let's not take anything away from the vikings because the vikings look awesome and not only do they have a running back in dalvin cook who was phenomenal they figured out the key to two kirk cousins don't let him replay quarterback yeah only through ten past kirk cousins is ten lifetime when throwing for under one hundred yards and eight for one thousand and ninety eight yards i love it is their base is more with him that's how kirk cousins is and listen he is the perfect quarterback in this situation for mike zimmer mike zimmer would rather not even have players he'd rather just go out on a field get angry for a couple hours do some red bank and then walk off the field with win he i don't think he likes anybody that he coaches
he just likes outcomes and with kirk cousins the less you can play for mike zimmer the happier he's going to be with you it's so perfect that that was a convincing win for the vikings in you looked up kirk cousins statue like wait what he threw ten times yep actually the key for the for kirk cousins to make sure that the quarterback doesn't play quarterback exactly i like that's that that is the god's honest geniuses liking so yeah i think that's why i think the defense is pretty good no they they look there they are one of those classic teams that two years ago the obvious headed phenomenal season and then they look at what the what was that year no they won the merit mister miracle obviously yeah and then there and they've got the kicked out of them by the eagles and it fell like all of last year was a hangover and then the rosters kind of the same they have all this talent and so now it's a new year fresh don't let kurt cousins throw the ball even though he's your quarterback and l
cook is healthy and do the whole phil last year was an entire hang over that that comes along with having the human hang over of kerr kerr on your seems just around you like a vent here's here's a perfect analogy for hang over because at the end hello i kind of wake you up a little bit usually towards the end of games back okay this isn't so bad right got through it and then you start feeling sick again like i need to i needed cheese burger write something the best thing that kirk cousins has ever done is that game where you said you like that which is the most kerr cousins catchphrase of all time and the reason why you like the reason why he was fate why why that was a big deal was because he went down like twenty one nothing in the first three quarters and then came back in your own repertoire twenty four to twenty one all right bills jets josh sounds awesome yeah that's about it that's all i got for that game the bills actually dominate this game from statistical standpoint but they just turn the ball over shit i'll say this
josh allen had the best for turnover performance that you can have as a quarterback yet so our friend warned sharp had a stat three in three turnovers when you're when a team is minus three in turnovers and one of those turnovers a pet is a return for a touchdown they were in eighteen last year when in all time it's like a two percent win probability so that just means josh allen defies all lots will also their kicker on the jets it's going to be an issue pray for mike greenberg now i'm going to say mike greenberg did the ultimate thing where he was online today complaining about the jets after the game he said this will be the last thing that i say about the jets and then he stops that way for like thirty minutes and then you just can't help himself go back at it so just super triggered if you're listening carli lloyd's out there are you worried about these two but he missed in the afc east tank they looked awesome i would be the thing that makes it easier that josh allen seems like he's running out of the pocket and just getting smoked by linebackers every single time he
so what is right yeah well i'm oregon itself down okay i'm worried about his health the way he was playing out he just has a reckless use playing reckless this by the way is going to be every single bills the only show that that counts is josh allen got a w yeah that's no truth trust me i why one josh on to do good i'm just saying i'm concerned mandolin x your bills are going to be that team just give like their defense is awesome and they somehow find a way to win games in like i i actually do think they could go eight eight and just every win is in this fashion where it's ugly gross but they figure out a way to doing and frank gore to frank or is it a false his balls are built for buffalo weather yeah saying that like you you talk about one of those snow games in early december hello the only person is gonna have visible external balls yeah that game is going to be frank his balls will shrink to normal so yeah no absolutely yeah but i i'll just say is because jets fans get mad it began to change and cj mostly went out eagles you're our words yes you
you start us so so no this is a case kim is the perfect jagran quarterback she sees like cold record with a little bit hot sauce on so j rooms like this is my this is my guy i can win eight or nine games on here with this guy yeah i will not get fired with this guy that's all the jay gruden cares about us is keeping dan snyder drunk enough to not come down on the field during an actual game yeah this was the most obvious to sean jackson revenge game of all time that's all he does he just as revenge games to sean jackson will be in in like twenty forty five to sean jackson will still be ripping off fifty yard touchdown yep that's just what he does you just it's it's a perfect every three weeks the reds on we'll go to him it'll be like sean jackson fifty three are touched on vernon davis had that nice or hurdle for touch on i will highly this season they don't yeah i'll take it yeah and then the eagles look like they're gonna everyone's teaser and showed the second half carson wentz looked awesome in the second half and i love doug peterson 'cause doug peterson
the best thing that ever happened to doug peterson cuz he's kind of like a i'm just going to coach my god when he does analytics analytics stuff but he is not afraid ever he goes for it on fourth down all time he went for it on fourth down in like their own like on their own thing in the second half early in the second half him getting too boring means he can just be full doug peterson all time yep because if you're not white right if you question them here's what i have is you will write what you gonna do so he goes for it on fourth down like it's not i was watching that game and the announcers weren't even questioning like will they go for it on fourth down no it's doug peterson he's got a visor and he's going for a fourth down yeah that's like the exact opposite of jeff fisher getting to superbowl it just let him punt more right gave him the freedom to punt on like third in large trucks if you trust the punters got wild with and go for it let let's kick the ball and third and sixteen so yeah carson once is back yeah yes you ready for ready to say that yeah carson wentz is pretty bad he is but he also got booed didi
in the first boot in the first half well you know i love it up everyone sees exactly it really was only a few fans hold you accountable it was for everyone saw that nine point in the red skins with the night they backed or cover that you have to get it yeah so it was a nice teaser though rams panthers room who this is the ultimate it's tough to get a win in this league game yeah i like if you're the rams it's tough to when we we want we only won by what three but chris mccaffrey has disappeared lowered in crystal caverns can be awesome his guts are made out of springs when he was trying to get tackled his body just like compresses and then expands back into the defender i don't know how he's so small but he's so compact that he's able to drive forward i don't know this for a fact but i'm pretty sure christian mccaffrey could be pro in every single sport yeah he's that type of guy fact he's that type of guy kim knew my question is when will cam newton stop wearing ridiculous clothes in los in losses yeah it is also look i would what
you gotta dress like you're going to win every single game i understand but maybe go with a b outfit maybe don't wear the barb wire at after you read the opening dressed to the game right but it just feels like if i were a panthers fan at some point like hey when we lose just throwing a panthers hoodie he had he had the barbed wire hat with the bandages on his face and then the cut off sleeves you look like a guy that was both offense and a person who was trying to climb over the fence at the same time i listen i'm not professional athlete but when i lose at like gambling i don't feel in the mood to dress up right i just throw switch sweatpants and just kind of mope around with that you're losing shirt yeah there's my losing shirt would you want i actually was winning when i put this on
and then i sort of lives are you are a lot like yeah i guess so that's the thing though you burn your boat you only bring one to to the game wants you to dallas exactly also i have i think sean mcvay finally has his version of bill belichick putting tom brady on the i or on the injury report for every game and that's todd gurley yes he loves keeping people in the dark about whether or not todd gurley it if his knee is made out of like the material that your grandmother's is made out of yes fully healthy all right you have a fantasy football podcast sank that's not a plugs i forgot the name but todd gurley's gonna piss everyone off this year sean mcvay is very clear he's going to do not to steal word from the nba but load management i i think about the brown had the majority the care is the first half and todd gurley was like the closer so sucks for you do you have them i don't known cares thank god football factory chiefs jaguars i ask
going to start with this a thought for you pft that look away pass oh my nick foles broke his broke his clavicle out for an extended period of time i must say a name you ready blake bortles curse nope oh i'm going to say a name for who the jaguars should should look to trade for eli manning let's there we go look at it going back with coffee awful in that together the defense is good enough all you need is eli to win nine games recruit him down there to yes why not i mean you until i can manage a football game to you i manning in a jaguars uniform would look so fucking for impostor oh my god i don't think eli manning's ever seen the sun much less lived in florida yeah let's just get it going and let's get it out there just eli manning to the jaguars who says no can you imagine eli rolling up to the roll up to the game just like a pair of jeans shorts just like kind to fit in down there it sucks though that that our nick foles got hurt because
'cause he had a great like first quarter or was looking great even so much that kevin durant future guests of the show we think maybe hopefully had one of the week suites ever he said nick foles that was a beautiful throw thank you that piece of art yes so what is a guy that is injured wishing good luck where i got this apart and some like that really yeah i think we should the sport we love i mean i i love the camera was watching the game i don't know why he's watching that game but he's watching that he's definitely watching redzone she was probably in la that had to have been right you think so right no no no that it makes no sense no where was he
he was watching redzone channel he was in a hospital somewhere you think he's coming you know what probably happened was nickel still in the hospital from the final nicholas got wheeled passed in the hallways like oh shit i better tweet something in case it gets weird jacksonville hey man i just i just tweeted about you yeah that was not great for nick foles to go out he looked good but garden men shoe looks like he's going to be fun yes
one is the right word of the fund whatever you want whatever your interpretation of fun is that's what he will be going from mike leach to tom coughlin i don't think that you could have a bigger separation terms of personality doubt punctuality are really anything yeah body type yes everything so if in heisman trophy voting yeah he was awesome the kooks we will have coach mike mike leach on this week all this is going up against day in on friday the cameras went out the the there was a power outage that i was what the hell i thought the the game wasn't question in terms of spread over under all that stuff but could you imagine if the game ended and it was like a controversial ending the modern hi hat game yeah we had no video proof that tough listen i thought right away when it went out i was like the jaguars going to cover vegas knows you've got a couple questionable neck injuries and then the cameras go out
i'm not gonna say their similarities to jeffrey obscene whom i'm there i'm not saying that there aren't what you are saying you are not not saying it i'm not not saying right you're not a lot so i'm trying to keep myself alive right ties he actually work with the clinton assassin tyreek hillary clinton the patron homes is awesome that's accurate assessment he's fucking sick i don't really know what else to say about it and sammy walk ins i i had written off sammy watkins career six years well he isn't it we've established that's right and what is that i mean you three touchdowns what two hundred yards something like that yeah i i think i wrote his career off after his six game in buffalo yes plus yeah total bust apps i see still also clemson total boss not fair to have that much speed on the field at the same time between hill sammy watkins micole lashawn mccoy
lashawn mccoy she holding the book not caring the ball correctly here's what i notice me not about lashawn mccoy i didn't like his uniform today he had like a little sam bradford thing going on they did they tighten it up they did need to tighten up he actually had a nice day he's going to be that's going to be one of those ones like how the fuck did the chiefs get lashawn mccoy for free before we get to the next game i want to talk to you guys quickly about bud light it's officially football season football season is awesome bud light is crisp i know it you know it everybody knows it rather than spending an entire ad reminding you that crispy boys are crisp bud light is giving the other half of its ad reads to small businesses for a chance to be featured simply tweet the hashtag hashtag bud light small biz or dm app bud light an ad for your business but the powers that he won't just let bud light give away free ads read so your script must include the words crisp and bud light so here is in the ad read for this week this week's winner is cascade mountain the
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to get that i don't understand that french fries it's too close to the sun like i'm not here i'm not a skier but i've been skiing i've never been skiing boarding now never been boarding men snow tube no none of the above keep use don't like bill i told you the winter olympics for mount rushmore ever sell your brains what the fuck whatever he'll i grew up in and i grew up in a hill apparently not you've never been so he grew up in a field to family that's also everyday alright colts chargers i don't know what it is but fee up rivers needing the score late in the fourth it wasn't tap and then it happened because the colts of chargers basically blew the game at the end and it is these are inception totem i fucking love it he the charging of winning and we predicted that there's going to be a quarterback that goes over the hill this year turns out it's actually adam vinatieri there
oh yeah he's the one for three and he made an extra point yeah not great my big takeaway was the chargers as an organization have finally fig i doubt their dream scenario which is making money off of players salaries by collecting fines from the starter that outweigh by many many times what you're paying the person who is actually playing yeah so like melvin gordon i think had to pay two hundred thousand dollars in fines the backup made something like thirty thousand mezclar night so the chargers they're like holy we are so cheap that were actually paying negative money to this position that's that's that's a very dangerous place for the chargers to end up with that knowledge that is it's it's very powerful knowledge also this is a bad game for melvin gordon yeah because
is the chargers offense looked fine austin eckler look pretty good yes i think is a perfectly average running back that sucks so that's gotta suck 'cause we're going to get to the cowboys and like how good deck looked in all this stuff and obviously ezekiel came back but man like to have your team go out there and then not miss a beat offensively es not great joe i would show up if i remember gore now just show up to film session on monday but what i'm still here yeah like what that thing no no that was a joke you're we're done i was getting on with that yeah i'll just i'll play that i play this year yeah that's fine also jacoby percent isn't that bad but we know that i think that there's something to they paid him like a starter so he played like a normal starter he feels a little bit of responsibility exactly that's how you treat people in this world you give him a little more extra and then they start doing their job a little bit better jim irsay looked like a pimp sloyer you see after he was wearing no but i i can imagine it's giant satin pink coat
long black sweat pants and i'm pretty sure is where black air force once and he was he had probably been in la all week so just use your imagination on that will ship that he got into by the way shout out of unitary he had the the massage gun he was doing on the sideline i don't think he was injured but that's a smart move if you're gonna sock just make it seem like you were injured yeah and also this year it's pretty much just free money if you're on the cold snow is expecting you do anything it's sure anything that happens it's all gravy on so yes it's absolutely true bengals seahawks so exact yes exactly yeah that's the same ach taylor the new look bengals which are kind of the old book bengals but i'll give him credit he actually made john ross good
yeah that's true he had that's crazy well he's fast right well yeah he called he actually caught the bank to i think he realized the one key that that marvin lewis never really got around to which is like throwing the ball your fast please yes marvin lewis is more like let's hand the ball to jeremy hill and just have run for for three yards every time right but if you get the ball to faster than you can do some damage and die the seahawks are having earl thomas they look like a big twelve defense is they were just jumping in diving the secondary just copper i feel like every time we look the bangles all three of their scores felt like just ridicule this catches and then run after the catch and no one was there yeah here's here's my over reaction is that zack taylor is going to be the bangles coach the next six years old and never make the playoffs
feel like he's going to go and i think we'll sneak in once you think so yeah his domes windows closing yeah well that's tough that's tough to hear nearby i'm sure if you're bangles fan trigger warning tone might not be your quarterback forever i was saying earlier today i think any dalton leads the league in terms of modern players and most tackles as a quarterback yeah i mean j color have that yeah for awhile any don't he's a he's a she had in there yeah yeah he is he's not afraid to my heart take the seahawks are gonna miss doug baldwin so much more than they realized which i guess they probably realized because they're tired he didn't like a cut or anything but if like every time they needed a big play like we where's doug baldwin and lock it was about what number
the problem is i wanna see eighty nine something like that okay was so they're different numbers would lock it has the same side yeah the bozo i trick myself into thinking it was doug baldwin for seconds like wait that's not doug baldwin that's why you guys can't get third down conversion yeah also clowney didn't really make an impact today kind of a bust yeah so what are the seahawks better without j g a b r clinic could trade bill o'brien carol gum chomping at an all time high on the sidelines today he was going full open mouth with it hell yeah he was going to bite his tongue off one of these days he probably does he probably has to he really has no tongue yes it started out the length of gene simmons and now back to just enough you mad you if you're the seahawks trainer and like every monday morning you like a come in the coaches office need to look at
yeah took a real just get in there it was an overtime game what about this would you guys think about this seahawks missed the playoffs go seven and nine six and ten this year pete carroll usc that servants job pixar tennessee who urban meyer said the tennessee was a top ten job he's just he knows we can let me finish in one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight yeah not anymore i fucking oh my god there's nothing better i we talked about last week with the i don't want him knowledge football we'll do we'll do what we got some college for coming up giants can boys who decided the cooper manning was funny i think we know the answer that wait wait
are you asking what power out there decided that one of the many children was going to stay on national television i cannot believe that he actually is on tv on sunday morning he wears wacky suits and i somehow i somehow catch it every time i could don't watch i i do not watch any of the pre game shows i don't have a consistent one right i pretty much just hop around like i've i'm more sent while i wanna watch espn to see who i can hate who you know like that kind of thing
somehow i always then on to permitting doing some hijinks with someone and it's like why the are you on tv dude i think we all know the answer i know but it makes me mad end his kid is going to be an nfl quarterback yeah his kid is what it's grade ninth grade he's on believes i believe any lie yes are so wide what does that have to do with which i don't know if he's the giants brother out what you got pissed off morning troy aikman went back and forth between hating the line manning and loving you i manning so much of this game at the start he was like i just i just don't know what he was doing after this isn't stuff a second year player should be doing and then at the end of the game
once they put daniel jones and he made sure to make the point you can't blame you lied today he actually played pretty well well here's what do you i did he actually did the perfect cover up for a shitty quarterback who's trying to keep his job he had three hundred and six yards yeah you can't touch down can't been some after that was his told your thirty for forty four so it's like you look at the stats and you nationally they give you do need your reaction didn't watch the game you say all you want not bad but if you watch the game especially that fourth down run where eli just got out in the open and he was all out of moves he had no moves he thought he had to move and he was completely exposed i think he
started a joke but it was so slow i couldn't tell you if it actually was a juke yeah both him and big ben when they get out into the open field they just they kind of freak themselves out there just like i don't know how i got here i don't know what to do but i know this is bad it's like it's like riding a bike without your training wheels for the first time and you start going fast it's like oh jesus christ i gotta i gotta jump off this bike this is scary that's them running at anything more than a light jog yeah it's like when you're skiing down hill on a black dial yeah exactly and you like only to be here right now yeah no i totally because i've never been there i've never been skiing yeah i did know it well here's a conspiracy theory for you yeah you know mysteriously espn came out with their like proprietary qbr metric like that makes no three or four years ago what is it you what's the qb are out for they will tell you it's out of a hundred it is certain that a i was thinking are you thinking of how are you doing as the pass rate we out of one fifty six we use passer rating for i think is one fifty eight per
three is perfect that's right you know natural number like then you can be perfect by being like like six for eight put to touch to right nobody noticed but yeah i'd like to in the car because i had a perfect pass rate but then what they did was like three or four years ago espn made their own out of a hundred right and they won't tell anybody what's in it and it's like the mcdonald's secret sauce but they did say that they were going to devalue things like late game intercept your team losing your throwing long passes that get picked off things that eli manning tends to do a lot of i'm not saying that archie helped develop this new stat to make his boys look better but i think if you dig into but there's probably more evidence fort than against it's crazy that there's not one thing where you can just point to me like that's what we re qb since the i test yeah that's what mind you i manning is a corpse not as my i is also i think killing more is jerry jones the best man
yes tell more is officially the coach in waiting of the dallas football cowboys the trouble is by the way are good juries been a are very good here's been talking killed up a little bit he's like he is the key to dax like resurgence e before the game they let it leak that dak prescott they're trying to get a deal done with him in time for kickoff today which is that would be the ultimate jury jones thing is just like have a giant check with yeah jack press got it made feel like in the salvation army thing either a call hey good he probably is like hey hey dak close your eyes and then like walk him out there like here's your check index lightweight i'm not sign and for six years twenty million a year
aren't you surprised you want here it is it's right here for hey here's the ceo on the vice president doctor pepper to hand you a giant check to glory hole university as many footballs you get through this whole that's how many millions you get i wouldn't put it past jerry no i wouldn't put it past jerry either put dac prescott is going to make a shit load of money and i actually think if you're jerry jones don't sign him right now because he's playing for a contract and the cowboys we were reacting because it's week one in the giants probably stink but man they look good you look i think we have some breaking news breaking news nfl say this do your pod these coming up new segment the red sox have parted ways with their gm dave dombrowski wanted title how many months ago less than twelve
yeah this is also crazy thing when football season starts you just forget the baseball exist until october september is complete no man's land for base where to stay relevant baseball yeah so job hank what are your thoughts about this you think to bring in billy beane what now i don't know okay i mean these are somewhat over some moneyball can you give credit to pft for nailing one gm please yeah i mean that's i don't really mean gm's either so there you go this is have a robot to it it's baseball just having maybe they'll sign the wonder kids scott harris from the cops he's the owes funds for i'm story when he signed scott harris to be the assistant gm he's like he was twenty six and i wrote a whole blog being like fuck this guy is an over achieving asshole he's a fucking guy who asked for homework on friday like this guy probably hasn't had sex and had any fun in his life i like have a mutual friend that i ran into him like three days later he's like hey i read that blog
okay i've actually had my bad my bad whoops so yeah your thoughts assistant general manager any romero is going to take over ok he sounds like a closer to baseball name yeah i mean you know it's going to save it for do your pod but like if you're not going to make the playoffs two years in a row but when did they won the world series last night saying you're only as good as this year though when they're not going to make the playoffs one one year one year yeah yeah ok no but they are not going to make it two years in a row no they made it last made it last year not going to make it this year which would make it two years in a row no that was last year i walked into my office will make it two years in a row
right you don't you're not alone if you're unable to make the playoffs god they're not going to be able to they're not going to be on a secret can't correct two years in a row okay if you can't make it two years in a row this you've got a so if you ever run they're not gonna be able to ever missed the playoffs you should be fired correct okay that's what you said okay all right sounds reasonable cool well who's bring was brought to you by i bring i was brought to you by talking real cover that tastes real good nice i last on the on the giants cowboys sick one barclays gonna be that hall of famer where we're all like man i feel bad for that guy i wish she was on thirteen they even even had an unreal running to start the game and then they just stop giving it to him just don't name your kids barkley yeah type of shit is going to follow him around yeah my last note is did you see jason garrett when he threw the challenge flag and then he picked
up before the refs noticed no yes so it hit the ground right move and he was trying to challenge something they didn't see it and so he quietly picked it back up if you're pat shurmur can you throw a challenge flag to have them go back and do a video review to see if jason garrett challenge flag hit the ground oh that would be so a challenge flag off we need to get dean blandino on the show are my career after a couple of tito's to walk us through that one that's every just like all the time always a couple he's always right after a couple of tito so i don't like ezekiel elliott's nose ring yeah here's why it goes through this so we kind of looks yeah it goes to the side so he loses like one percent of oxygen through that whole alvin kamara has one but it goes to the middle so it's a closed system he retains his oxygen ok alright i'll allow it waste a lot of coke though probably getting lions cardinals tie fuck you
hi we gonna tie week one i bet on the skin so very very met actually have time what we won last year so i like to us yeah i don't know i love ties i don't like you want to lose best buy love ties the over reaction was colin murray was the worst quarterback of all time in the first half even though his offense of linemen sacked him yeah which is an unreal move that's why you have to measure your article leap ability as an office a lot you can get up there yeah and then the second half he was unbelievable so cliff kingsbury you hot smug prek good job
dare i say a little slower magic in the second half for kyler murray he looked pretty good look pretty good larry fitzgerald looked like he's never going to retire so we're going to have to keep talking about larry fitzgerald and when he will retire his big old butt big old booty so three slash four of bad kyler one one slash two of good kyler so seventy five percent he's a bust yes seventy five percent chance color is a bus right now danny ammendola fuck you i've never seen a more bone head play hate sidelines we hate sidelines the lines actually looked good and then he's the opposite of ted ginn yeah he's ted tonic he said he that was in i know they probably wouldn't have been able to win the game but still that was like what is he thinking oh he probably has cardinals plus two one slash two
now patricia terrible posture on the sidelines yeah with his single crutch yeah tipping over between him and kliff kingsbury two very distinct looks how do you sell a tie week one like the cardinals they can sell because they're not supposed to win any games yelled a tie is like this is awesome put to the lions especially when you are playing really well kicking the out of them and now you have sell tie yes like kissing your kissing your sister tj hawkins on by the way is awesome so good job lines you took a tight end way too high and everyone laughed at you but it looks like he's going to be also something to build on there yeah there's something to build on there two more games for niners bucs jameis winston fucking stinks that guy sticks he is addicted to turnovers he's it and throwing the ball to the other server problem the victim i was proud like turnovers yeah it's still all time
cliff jim harbaugh jim harbaugh just asking in turn it is to turn as a sex but you're more about trying to get to the the center of james winston psyche was it was that he just jim are well just think that if you look somebody deep enough in the eye and ask the same question over and over again just at the answer right now james looked like his hands look smaller somehow than last year i don't think you can fix them eros is bruisers gonna fix them how do you fix a guy who would like one in every five passes he says i haven't thrown it dangerously close the other team in a while let me do that yeah yeah and he has that thing that he can never ever kicked out code you can never coach i jamis that when really goes black poorly and he's running around the pocket he will absolutely always throw it up in the air like he's playing five on if you did that last that last pic six because you had to was one of those were
what are you doing do you what do you do and i think arians is like his whole philosophy is just throw the ball deep right that's what that's what arians likes to do so putting it together with james you're either going to get something really really good or you're going to get just to like it big cauldron of it takes the place of your football team for entire year i don't think it's good and we were looking up who the backups are on the books right now ryan griffith ryan griffin blink granite bulls hurt gabbert search yeah brian griffin he doesn't have anybody pushing him your comment no longer if it's going to be on you think so i'm gonna he's gonna do it because jamis at some point it just has to drive you insane that he's jameis plays the nfl like he's still playing like week two in college agains university louisiana monroe was like i have better athletes and everyone if i throw this ball one of my guys will get it will be so the office you game against the hands in monroe yeah i didn't really we're not work you know but it's it's insane to watch him play and the other thing with this game
we don't know if jimmy jeez good still no i might my nana stock my entire notes about the forty niners just forty niners looked okay i guess you'd you mean she was not very good a look look pretty good of course the because he's he's a start fresh don't call right he our friends always look yeah that's true but i jimmy g still don't know yeah this is a big question mark all right last game i am the pages in one super yeah it's about was in ask listen the patriots are there wagon is unfair that they already have josh gordon and julian edelman and i'm going to get around and back and sony machel i enjoy it what do you want to lie about it just it's insane it's kind of boring yeah
i will this is perfect segue to antonio brown i just declared myself to be a page which i'm i'm trying it on for your hunt every team is not no offense pack notes page i own or work i own the packers i'm a fan of the patriots this year and they're now is around in their division that's fine that you look listen don't judge me as a fan you don't get to do that i'm i'm pan filled was pager coach so it's like yeah that's true stories follow them exactly so i like to that often or not yeah i like dolphins are like the lions i did notice that bill belichick was wearing a cut off shirt underneath a cut off shirt today i don't know what the hell i don't know how we get stressed if you if he has mirrors in his house the steelers are just he looks like he gets hunted down by a dog on the way to the stadium everyday mike tomlin you're down twenty to nothing and you kicked a field goal uhm
three you went from a three score game two or three score game that's insane listen points are better than no points mike tom would you disagree mike tomlin essentially did the he he did the dog park i'm on a roll on my back and let you sniff my my belly because you you own me i was like i was the that was the biggest white flag i've ever seen this banner night how do not go for it on fourth down there just for product will do you have any product we'll tell you on banner night it's different environment in foxborough excuse me fox's borough which has built f o acts as b o r o u g h and held it is that i wanted to be honest all that so we should we should we should say waited antonio brown the newest patriot all this news actually happened since our last show he's insane isn't saying but is he insane like a fox he's insane like a fox so since we last taped he recorded jon gruden
legally shadow bill belichek alpha he immediately immediately endeared him to the patriot way dual consent dual consent state it was that video that was the google video verifier video yes the man with the injury brown i think is more into being like a video guy than a football player at this point we have a receiver on the patriot yeah he he mitchell's yeah he all his videos are awesome and he's always being taped like even the release was that and so essentially mike mayock find him conduct detrimental which made it so that he no longer have guaranteed money through the essentially playing week to week with the raiders then he said release me they released him who mike mayock i don't even know who looks bad here because we've talked about on friday show but like the raiders knew what they were getting and they completely
i feel like they mismanage it i feel like it all went really s when mike mayock did his you're either on your own i'm going to be the tough guy right i'm going to be the heavy that thing about antonio brown is he's been obsessed with the patriots for the last three four years he
he loves tom brady he love tom brady more than he loved been roethlisberger when he was catching passes from been robber actor he's been obsessed with the team his whole mission was to get on the he wanted to be on the patriots starting this offseason rang wanted that's where you want to go but of course page or the steelers we're going to trade on their right and so is like you know what they're gonna give me thirty million dollars guaranteed in oakland yeah i'll try that on and then he gets out there and then he hires a social media team help him figure out how to with the shows up in a in a hot air balloon yeah which by the way they hire us for that yes we will charge whatever like half of whatever you're paying your team right now we will find the right group i would get you kicked out of oakland so do you know how many places i've been kicked and you might you wasted time it's a natural talent of mine to be asked to leave nice places he did a hot air balloon burgess feet with ice yeah helmet helmet gate he video tape double helmet key yeah double houma gate he unfriended big benny died his mustache yep
he unfollowed all the raiders he had to do some awkward things with their car where they pretended like each other how dare car probably like me and i thought we really got along yeah definitely doesn't understand when out he called mike mayock to cracker hang bleep out oh yeah i forgot we that feels like so long ago had cracker done on friday friday was cracker gate yeah and and then just make sure and then a bunch of people being mad like we why can antonio brown say cracker yeah right now all right yeah does he get a second right two pies landing was although i don't does a big straight but i feel like wind when you go down that path you except to a lifetime of strays was there anyone who is real who is trying to make the like riley cooper analogy
about how he was like how riley cooper got kicked out of the nfl because he didn't he didn't know how you got no riley cooper yeah yeah he we got a call you got to help track he went to rehab for being racist for like three weeks and when i came back but i never know when you see riley cooper trending i don't know if it's because someone saying like it's people saying you you all think riley cooper can do this and it's sort of like your your correlating them but was ever anyone corley i don't i don't know exactly what you're getting at but i'm trying to say like what where did the riley cooper trending even start i don't i think people just remember asian zero on that who have someone have a spicy take about riley cooper because i couldn't understand easily nor does it how these even close to the same thing about redoing the chris rock paper just doing what are the differences between crackers and white people trust gets there you go check
gets rates you wanna power rank your yeah crafters gets i i feel like she's it's number one cheese it's are not a cracker thank you they are cheese on a cracker next jeez crack are you know who have a strong might may i talk big that's the best part of mike max he's absolutely correct that's a first rate like he's cracked the first thing i saw when it is all right right i got it yeah mike mayock is the use of crack definition of active duty your hockey and cry and listen as a writer myself i can say that yeah absolutely take back but like that word spot the lie mike max crack yeah now i don't think he's a hockey though oh you don't know i don't know i really know the definition i just
i just don't know yet i have some like some sort of twang to you to yourself to be hockey god like i think freddie kitchens is a hockey got it okay that makes sense so mike marriage make iraq yeah jerry jones is a hawk yes correct he has he has big time so jerry jones is the man but not like in the good he is actually the the the land right right so hank your prediction for antonio brown on the patriots antonio brown josh gordon do both of them play sixty games are of the antonio brown i'm simply nights of fifteen in his in his case yes yes interesting interesting confident about that you don't think it's eighteen and one is my official preseason prediction see losses who will get stuff now hello i know i did you put that curse over thirty one well yeah that's a weird thing to i think there's a random regular season game and that that'll be it what if what if they lost to you you lie and the jaguar rely offs
three like you know they're not going to lose in the playoffs they're going to lose a random like whatever like fourteen regular season game they almost lost that jaguar seems a couple a couple years ago yeah that was the boat but he's initially so he's passed on little ramps i'm going to read a quote real quick and you guys can tell me who you think it's from did you see a big bands most reason quote now he just got ass in the postgame what he thought of antonio found joining these guys beating the patriots and he said whatever big ben by the way his face is so fat whatever might be getting fatter and fatter it's bad i can't wait to big ben retires and it's just he's going to he's into the opposite of like the schlereth well the thing yeah she's gonna be just even fatter big ben is going to be in a scooter getting around like one of those rascal ones that used to drive big cat within like probably three years after time right do the quote would make it a sequel this romo code take this is a sikh quote use promo code take
you tell me who this is ten dollars off promo code ten dollars off whatever game you want you want to go up and sit in the nosebleeds and gawk at big ben's giant wide ass neck you see here's a quote i'm not okay i believe a b wants to return to pittsburgh you always want your girlfriend back always big ben curls curled abes toes you never forget the girl who did that he sucked him off ok so that was b seruni whichever rooney is jason whitlock oh you never forget the girl major major to scroll now i don't know who jason whitlock been fucking but it's not exactly a larger clubs law it's not hard to make a guy come right to make you guys toes curl that's right it's like anything right and i actually the car all time i have a charlie horse yet injuring of water gets it that's my fox sometimes as those grown i get some reps and yeah just took some exercise i i actually i actually thought the pittsburgh would be would work
because in all of this in all the antonio brown madness and the raiders and all that stuff i think we mike tomlin an apology i think he actually dealt with antonio brown the way that have to deal with the receiver that talented and kind little out that just kind of ignored it for awhile just let the little don't sweat the small stuff you don't mean don't don't worry if he doesn't show up to practice or he punched the ball at big bend or he gets mad he's not the mvp don't sweat the small stuff because if you make a big deal of it then he's going to make an even bigger deal right that's what the raiders did they basically did like they got
chicken off with within twenty brown he's gonna win it's like if you're a teacher and you have a kid in your class that's always on his phone checking his bank account like yeah your browser or whatever that's a great day at work for you yes that's like a good behavior day for that get you like i'm gonna let the slide and i can give detention over this because otherwise we'll try to stab me with a pencil did you see interest is the i don't have a terrible to we were he was like kids yeah you know he said yeah this is an awful lesson for the kids actually think it's the best lesson in the world because it's a perfect life lesson if you're extremely talented it's something you can probably get away with more than everyone else that's a tough life and you should learn learn sooner rather learn it sooner yeah if you are extremely valuable an exceptionally talented at your given work yeah you probably can get away with us not getting fired as sorry patient trophy for being super town yeah that's the way the world works that's how go that's a lesson that probably people should learn here's what i'm concerned about those from the patriots antonio brown was trending on twitter for i think about eight days nonstop i don't think there's a single not a day that went by first of all i'm i'm going through a b news withdraws yes stills like it's been forever since i've got an update from but for him going
cold turkey from having all that to absolutely none in new england until they get to play in a weak against the dolphins hey that you can't just go drop a bid at least he doesn't have jeremy renner app to feelings on under duties if he's got a content into addiction you deal with two people who content addictions do you think we could do that no chairs along over the pager to pro pro content now what three oak bredesen the case i am not at all means in it josh gordon plus an electrical wiring for the game contents are content to say i think it's a call back to last week's episode ranking of the content and khan well there is no difference but the exact same so yes that's right you're right i'm not to sweat the small stuff for the problem but they're pro content now ok alright well i just feel bad for antonio brown's kids for having to learn new quarterback then they still there still
process we're just gonna be like is that is that derek carr because i probably watch the game tonight too but they're like there's roth lis berger that they'll actually know they will know that whoever tom brady is that's not derek yes yes ok let's do our who's back in little college football before we do that stat shark statue it helps you take a bigger bite at a daily fantasy games hank has a fantasy podcasts you need stature to
supplement his fantasy podcasts this daily fantasy insight tool includes unique features built by wall street qantas that means nerds that you know could be right billy bean yep from dynamic charting to probabilistic determination of player performance all designed to give you a better chance to win i love this whenever they give you like nerds i trust them all the time stat sharks projections are proven to be better than the competition i can help you deliver unparalleled winning results stature would ride you full player histories you can have all information from you three different modes to playing bass on your level of expertise and preferred time commitment ability to generate thousands of line ups and directly uploading your line up with vandal more and right now our friend dispatcher offering a free trial to schoolies go to stature dot com slash bar stool your free trial last through september that's three more nfl weekends you can try it out for free there's no reason not to do this go to stature dot com slash bars to get your free trial give yourself a better chance to win it become a stash sharks that shark is only available for download on a p c go do it right now stat shark dot com slash bar stool if the nurture telling you it's gonna work it's gonna work and i wouldn't want to be the guy who doesn't use stature let me just say that because you want to win and the nurse will tell
how to win quick college football coach oh lsu eredo radio well i guess new look offense lock rate yes joe burrow mvp heisman well uconn's win the heisman five star could not long island yeah i have heard of them a job or a looks like i was the guy yeah last year he looked he looked he was solid right he was okay let they're pretty good learning that offense this year he looks fucking amazing who who did the sideline for that game is at maria taylor yes she's so cold my god she's a tall let coach say go i have the video i was so angry that's the go tigers at the end of an you win from coach oh is the nut it is and he said he do he said she took her mike away you you can't do that you can't do we needed that coach oh lsu some about lsu when they get going their colors and everything
it's just so much fun texas is almost back for a second for a brief second there almost back how big game was army almost embarrassed michigan at michigan but now army does this every year so michigan can just say we still get to go to college playoff because oklahoma that last year with a loss they won in overtime his army yeah no i i think that michigan gets moved towards good that this happened early on in the year yeah sorry for respecting the troops too much also wisconsin's back and i'm getting some sort of good feeling so get ready for me to break my heart i do not back to coach real quick yeah did you know so just kind of glows under the lights yes and so on he is like a it's
if he's not sweating i don't know i think it's just a glow yeah and it's it's it's almost like being under a yeah hi heat lamp yeah for french fries or he's like a like a lizard that's been out in the sun yeah ages color to the rockies grounded in on that rock that wrong yeah that he's a friend of making friends with the sun the sun becoming one we got on in time with it and also i got a i got a problem with texas is field i tweeted this at j because i want to get a pantone check on his it texas is field always looks weird to me right i didn't know why somebody pointed out that the the like color situation on the broadcast scammers change it taxes depending on what network is running the game so he's like fox hd being shitty it's like a mood field it changes depending on how back texas is it in last night or saturday so i was like they're not back because that field looks like
baby diary yeah okay so do officially not back so i let's try tax nice try it almost as full force almost almost had it up also i went to clemson and i am here to report i scouted in person go tigers i think trevor long it's gonna be a good quarterback you think so yep future out in person maybe future bear shut up clumsy school they got a rock i went to dabo world i went to their facility it's insane i treated it hank full wiffle ball field in back for the players seems dangerous seems dangerous but it's very cool the rock is cool the only thing i would say is i don't like stadiums where one of the end zones isn't like filled in but that because the players have to why don't put it down in oski guy his field and less intimidating wisconsin used have they closed like in teams do that do that where old stadiums stadium they close it in to get the sound in it just
feels less intimate but can you talk about the swirling winds since you have like a an open room to win sharon's tougher visiting kicker just doesn't feels into meeting i'm just gonna say it that's almost i'm i love stadiums i love to look at stadiums i went there the night before just to look at the empty stadium it's cool place it's got a you know cool tailgate area where just goes on forever but would have liked maybe a fucking deck in that end zone ok so that might be if you want to make big cat happy when you visit your stadium for a quilt build a make sure the bowl is fulfilled unless your max and then just put up some aluminum benches and that's cool that's actually the empty or stadium is during match and i think the more the more intense the i want to hear a pin drop them atmosphere yes alright let's do who's back hank go back i have two my first one is or if i talkington go he won the us open which means he now has five major title since his 30th birthday the most by any
person after the 30th birthday oh so federer's not even the second coat it's yolk of it as a rock off of that armor and then there's a drop off eight and then when the rafah and and federer's stan roberts has one giant major title since thirtieth birthday the most by anyone out to thirty three of this land is your joke around thirty any wrongful is one for one and his last major titles djokovic quit well that's wrong home he would he would like a little andrew luck he was like my shoulder hurts we got signed off hi after he was thirty yeah here dan dockets had to say about his joke of itch aussie at rafah the go my other job which no just tell about i don't want to say that he hasn't alternative i don't know that for a fact djokovic i'll buy you a job which has three and he's thirty two so that will be another step that he breaks but not right now rockets check out my other who's back is mamba mentality ok
kobe bryant is mama mama mentalities back i don't know if you want that he became the mamba after been running for the last tonight can i can explain program please he is the coach of his daughters aau team which is called the mambas any post the picture today and the captions was two years ago we lost the same team twenty two to twenty one in the picture it's his team celebrating in the scoreboard background the score is home team one hundred and fifteen the visitor twenty seven sportsmanship so this team lost two years ago and these girls are like ten to twelve years old and then kobe's come back up the whole time that i'll absolutely killing one hundred fifteen to twenty seven in a girls no no older than thirteen year old bass i still that is monument mentality i want to find the guy who basically toiled away in creating black mamba art for
entire life and then one day something happened in colorado and kobe bryant decided that he was he become the mamba and then decide in the neck i became like a millionaire because kobe has you saw it hank there's mambas everywhere he is every mamba sculpture that's ever been created and piece of and so he just said he and now it seems not to the commission that software already exists for all of their summers made a windfall from kobe becoming the mom but there's a montage of the i think there's a mamba industrial complex after that's been developed around the cult of kobe like you go to a dinner party in new mexico like oh i want to introduce this artist in the guys like hey
no the no kobe's mama stuff that's me well now it now i got now this is second when fall because dwight howard's in town and he's a snake guy so he's going to buy up all the lucy's if he became the levy that would be so dwight howard to call himself the black mamba yeah when i was on the big mom he's probably not a mamba snake i he's like i i want snakes but not poisons was i want to want to give you great big hugs yes yes another one extra yeah i said it trap you yeah okay pft my first was back in the week is your television checking to make sure that your live on sundays and so when the icon pops up it's like hey yeah i'm i don't know said you haven't changed channel and four hours
is everything okay go yes it is you should know this by now don't be a television yep fine yep absolutely if anything you should ask like can i order you some food yes that would that would be awesome when it yeah if you were these big shot tv designers just have something pop up on the screen that's one click to order pizza it's like don't have unfortunately i think menu comes up it's like you would you like a snack would you like a diet coke yeah excuse me sir i couldn't help but notice that your afternoons awesome could i make it a little bit better yes my other who's back in the week is robert griffin third yeah g three so rg3 got end here's a stat line six for six hundred and fifty five yards one touchdown down receptions qbr ninety nine point seven qbr one new baby from clifton one moon is a proud papa and i'm going to count that as a quarterback savitz neustadter just made up right now where it just didn't blow a fifty point lead you get well qb ours also point three higher than the starter so i think if you come in and you have a higher total rating which
we discussed earlier is measured that makes total sense then you should get a quarterback save so leads lee can save i like that all right my whose back is i hate gambling and quit okay until tomorrow night well the lines did that it's the fucking worst nfl sundays are war and i i mean that literally marlins man sorry don't get mad it's probably tougher but it's a mental grind and i fucking hate it i mean you can't figure out the nfl you cannot and i know it's just week one was that i'm already i'm already i'm already topping and i know i'll be back tomorrow night but i'm marty just debt i'm dead from the nfl we cover the over under against iraq but for now we come with the spread against iraq right the over under was bad beat it's fucking mall terribles it's terriblr yeah it is tough listen i believe in you it's a long season get it out of the member when i said i loved the board although my my guaranteed i'm gonna start doing that every week my garant
he'd cannot lose no matter what money line parlay that one which was see cox ravens eagles ok easier you go you wanna know except to see almost lost one of those yeah i wanna know know for those just say everything i wanna know for guarantees sucking man it's i love it but i hate it but i love it is this can't wait for tomorrow night i love the text is this year there waiting for you just probably everything it do it if you become a parlay guy you have to change your entire wardrobe you do the different it's like parlay guy is just dress and it's blue actually jump to generate those are probably gonna like yeah yeah so anyway yeah right and you just have to constantly talk about how your ten dollar parlay that would've won twenty five thousand dollars missed because one team lost okay i can do that that that i feel that can be really get it it's a good time it's a good time okay let's do some segments you got a little something before yeah before we get it homesense
i would just say we football football of the week on on segments yeah before we get a segments i want to talk about simply safe on average a burglary happens once every twenty three seconds in the us that's from the fbi i approximately two million burglaries are reported every single year in the united states eighty three percent of burglars admitted that they specifically look to see if there's an alarm system and twenty out of every thousand households were burglarized in twenty seventeen and what's crazy is that only one in five homes have home security maybe because most companies don't make it easy will simply safe makes it very very easy very very simple to get your house covered and protected that's why simply say safe is my top choice hands down simply safe every door window in room with twenty four slash seven professional monitoring they make it easy there's no contract no hidden fees no fine print this one a ton of words from scene at the new york times wire cutter prices are all
please fair and honest around the clock monitoring just fifteen dollars a month but one thing that truly makes simplisafe stand out is there video very verification technology when other security systems are triggered a lot of time police assume it's a false alarm and the call goes to the bottom of the list but was simply safe they use their video verification technology to visually confirm that the break in is happening which allows police to get to the scene three point five times faster than other home security companies and for my listeners simplisafe has a huge deal going on right now go to simplisafe dot com slash pmt and get free show bring and a money back guarantee that simply dot com pmt s i m p l i s a f e dot com slash p m t okay stu some segments rap up the show we first have football guy the we vote for football guy the week we're going to eat out the poll we
ones winner was hugh freeze will try to get weak twos winter on i don't know if we will be able to because there's some good well known co she's actually no we should be able to okay first nominee army coach jeff monk we talked about army they went to overtime against michigan as a twenty two point underdog he told his team before the game in the locker room talking about playing kind of one hundred thousand plus fans there's a bill and people in china that couldn't care less about what happens in this game on saturday so let's just have fun and play our very best fact it's like the andrew worth we're all gonna die we're all going to die there's fuck cares one billion people in one billion people but they will care because there would be a lot of people if the game goes to overtime streaming on their iphones and so it will run
batteries down faster and use a lot of data which means you have to buy more iphones from china i had a teacher once told me that if you could sell a coke for a dollar to every single person in china you'd be a billionaire and that fucked me up because i think like that's easy yeah but it's not but then you have to get a building codes for free right to do that true the math is tough but it fucked me up it does make sense though just like perspective the ultimate perspective one it might look like a lot of people in the stands here but in reality it's not it's not that many people right that's what i think about when i do this show yeah maybe that's dana coach dana will try to get him to do that be like hey guys it might feel like there's a lot of people here but mill people listen to pardon my take i think about that point yeah that's crazy at this houston game there only thirty five thousand people yeah but imagine how many budget could be talked about you yes listen if you lose houston we're going to talk about you for the entire show yeah and that's going to be tough for you to do don't lose bill
d tackle at over war shirt that spelled chip on his shoulder yeah right he literally had a chip literature it's good that it does have a jacket by the way 'cause he speak in houston remember he got i had stolen from him that was a major applewhite wouldn't let him put on the john lennon put on the day yeah like the puffy jacket yeah yeah yeah i like the chip on the shoulder to good blue collar move yeah why not literal chip on shoulder i'm bill belichick there's also there's a guy in the nfl a place on the cowboys or he used to he had a tattoo of a chip on his shoulder as you get that yeah you get this pretty sick bill bella check if chip kelly wins a super bowl i'll get a chip tester done bilbao check probably best quote ever on being asked about football season this was last week before football season started he said i like football i like football season all the things that go with it it's a great tinder bio totally agree i like all
things ago football season i swam that mother soups is that right yes is that the correct direction yes right right right okay puffy that it's chilly leaves pumpkin spice hung pumpkin spice everything sneezes yeah because he's got a cold having hank being allergic to words michigan state coach mark d'antoni tonio last one he said on his offense there's only so many ways to skin a cat at the end of the day you've got to skin the cat there's another good quote for you write that down
i like to be told everyone hey write that down but isn't isn't the normal quote there's more than one way to skin a cat there's only one way to skin a cat but he's like yeah she's got a skin it is sometimes you just get it harder somebody's got a murder cat named then you'll end up in mind hunter season three yeah or getting fired from marshall sports whose time was getting cast in the first place house of freeze like can invent hey psychopaths sociopaths serial killers they'll skin cats when their children they piss there they pass their bad when and they said in a light fires in the skin cats and then there's zero but how to become a common phrase in the world that's a good question i don't know i don't know i mean yeah i i feel like the i feel like we looked hard enough there probably be a country where it's like is there earlier number one sport is cat skinning for speed yeah right right you don't think so yeah the problem is probably one out there right probably france i mean dude in england they roll a fucking cheese down a hill don't not jump so not cheesy roll you don't think this is like you don't think they just skin a cat somewhere i don't know
some places they treat cats his royalty yeah that's true todd gurley's house and given contra out in this house fuck now ok for our football guy the week hopefully we get someone on hopefully we get told him we're not going to get what do you think we got okay okay all right well you're the producer of the page as a producer wants or get an team now yeah okay so get you get us get this bill belichick that would be great are you a vote pfd before we do the rest of segments you got one more well more and yes for dollar shave club you know hell yes no big shave guy yeah you're not talk about dollar shave club i can't stress enough the quality of their products they spend years developing crafting refining everything they've got everything i used to look feel and smell my best you name it they've got it and i use it i've been a dollar shave club member for years i love their toothpaste i love their shampoo i love shave butter their pre shave scrub
i love the razors i love it all as amazing as that shave stuff is they've got way more than just razors they've got everything you need to keep you covered head to toe everything that you could want to shower shave style your hair brush your teeth and yes even wipe your took us says but but i said took us and dollar shave club can keep you automatically stocked up on the products you use you get what you want whenever you need it whether that's once a month or a few times a year i never have to this time at a store wondering if what i'm getting is any good as a dollar shave club member i know when i'm getting is the highest quality and also unit club is being a club is bad hell yeah you ever in a club when you were a kid you start your own club now i started club one time in third grade i forget the scheme club but people like no i wasn't i didn't have enough money to be in ski club dick and whatever i don't have a board i didn't have a mountain i didn't have a lot of stuff and right now can put the quality of dollar shave club's products to the test their ultimates they've starter set has basically everything you need for an amazing shave the
decorative razor shave butter prep scrub and post shave do the best part is you can try it for just five bucks after that the restock blockships regular size products at regular prices get your ultimate starter set for just five dollars at dollar shave club dot com slash p m t that's dollar shave club dot com so is pnc but i am going to vancouver later on this autumn there mountains up there maybe i'll try first time to a video you skiing i don't know i don't want that getting out ok we got say no pizza no french fries yeah yeah absolutely we have a new segment is called to your pot actually know what that means saying yeah pizza mean stop french fries mean go s work it was on south where he was right i was allowed to watch out for he should be there you should have you should of pizza and when you french you should have yeah please when french french
do your pot do your pod so this is a new segment and can i might turn this into a full podcast we're not sure yet but i since i decided that that
patriots in the data since i decided that there aren't enough patriots fans and national sports media i'm given a shot of this company and it's also it's amazing the that you guys find to complain about it really it boggles my mind and you think about sports i mean is in subject matter about a very little thing you get mad about the small stuff and i love it and it's awesome to be patient the first day became page fan he would happen we got into a brown right there in the second day do you do your pod you what you have your complaint right so it's this is a complete show right now this is not a show this is to just to point out how unfair it is that the nfl is against it so go ahead yeah so go ahead so today and runs on all we talk was all season like football is back balls back can't wait the result has their little countdown which savage moving the last minute to do an advertise now is up now was funny that it was a has he had that i was in the dallas up so then my little montage stars like hundred years football they went through every single like big
moment at the last hundred years every notable player every notable team little moment little stuff not one time now one single time did they show any bill belichick tom brady pagers super bowls you would think that says the most dominant team in the last twenty years the most recent super bowl champion would at least get
one frame to second frames anything up anything and they got nothing i agree you know if you think that's a coincidence you are grow it's not a coincidence it's it's them trying to down play the best franchise maybe in the history of organized sports definitely probably within the history the yet are united states specialty consider presents the exact thank you hey specially when you consider free it was easier to build up the yankees the yankees who didn't have to compete what number one you weren't allowed to have black players on your team back in the next room thirties yep so you were you weren't exactly the best athletes at the time to there was no salary cap with the patriots have managed to do in this age in this error is nothing short of amazing and for the nfl to continually rub our noses in this is disrespectful after not giving us opening that game especially after the fact of roger dealt with a chicken and give the opening night game to repairs the packers mean in foxborough when we were going to raise the banner like we do every single year and enter yang said you tried on that was just for anymore yeah i was discuss interviewing tweeted out that he hates the patriots yeah we're gonna be present do your part
and we needed to add a little little addition to yapan also clearly coley make is going to call if you mix tape is going to be do your part and then underneath it's you should just say you're not paranoid if everyone's out to get you yep and we've got a logo picked out of sweet it's all the boston mascots looking pissed off alright so that was do your poppy and patriots fans awesome alright last upstate classy we have stay classy philadelphia you got it fight with your own player on the sixers mike scott showed up in a red jersey what the fight was next to a tailgate that someone brought a tailgate casket to the tailgate ok okay right there like grandfathers casket to the tail is that the old that is that so long as that the old so the eagles can let me down one last time over they don't and then that's like the in the foreground of that is the mike scott fight
that is incredible is pretty i love that they brought a casket in they probably did the thing where they they just threw his ashes in the middle stand with well there was that do that he stripped the field and then pour is that ash is yeah on to the field which is i mean you got to take your hat off so i'm a big believer in philadelphia it's kind of a bad rap and everyone just use the cliche and i actually think it's a great sports town but fighting your own players a little that feels a little too much well this is like this is the call some people back all yeah but like a phone or just log we already ended you argue pods over here you you just but this week the next segment for me this is as good as it gets for our words fan
just being it having one of like a fan of your team beating up an eagles fan yes that's anyone say like hey that's six sir that is our superbowl right there in the a one like hey don't hurt him he's actually we're rooting for i think they probably knew yeah i mean they're just too drunk to care probably just too drunk to care unbelievable what a video all right that is our show let us know how you thought it went i thought it was great that was fun not to toot our own horn would you think hank is a producer great i thought it was great which is a lot of fun which song should we put underneath through your pod strong of a bar yeah yeah no no no no yes it's more than that's that's the outro that's me being or so did the shipping up to by everyone no like dirty water messy tessy test your dirty water alright that's our show we got some sweet caroline beloved that songs problematic we got some big big big we're doing four interviews this week that are all
norman famous one of them is huge not as huge as they used to be but still huge i don't no know literally all his really know but that's also there could be there they little could be any of so spoiler it's not been roethlisberger people are early now one of them is not two of them did one of them still well once a year love you guys
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Transcript generated on 2019-10-18.