« Phil in the Blanks

Charlamagne Tha God: The Man Behind— ‘Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me’

2019-03-26 | 🔗

Money, success, fame, and influence are not an antidote to anxiety and can even make things worse. For Charlamagne Tha God, living with anxiety has been a life-long issue, from an unsafe childhood and a dysfunctional family to being black and successful in America, he has looked at mental health from every perspective. As a popular radio and podcast host he has discussed the issue at length and has arrived at a compelling way of looking at things, that is, at times, at odds with the way mental health is viewed in parts of his community. Here on ‘Phil In The Blanks’ we are going to look at how anxiety and other mental health issues are viewed behind the scenes in media work environments and in the African American community and see how one man’s tireless struggle to overcome anxiety, fear and doubt has helped shape the lives of his family, his friends, his co-workers, and even some A-list celebrities. For more information: https://www.drphilintheblanks.com

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
So what causes the panic attacks Burmese when these those negative thought keep happening? Yea poplin ape happening here and then, if it does manifests itself, God forbid, I feel like I created it, you you know: do you still have as much passion is much fun do radios you did when you really gotten your blood, nothing. Sometimes we can get caught up in being carriages of yourself. I knew microphone was more changed. My life, that was Charlemagne, the God you would is listening to, and let me talk about this gentleman for a few minutes, because I have to tell you, I have a tremendous respect for this
You ve probably heard him on a breakfast club with Dj Envy and Angela YE he's on in ninety markets around the country and revolt tv network, which was founded by Sean Puff, Daddy Combs he's a New York Times best selling author one book black privilege and he's now released. His second book shook one. I have so much
respect for sure may, because he is as real as it comes he's willing to talk about things that just start talked about in his world mental illness, anxiety things that have really plagued him in his life, and he has really advance the narrative and made it ok to talk about these days. He owns his truth. He is really clear in a path for others, so they will not feel shame if they have to deal with things in their lives and deal with Middle Hill. Eurasia recite the breakfast club is the most dangerous mortgage up in America and I'll tell you why they say
because they get real, they talk about the real deal it. If people don't want to be honest to get real, then they don't want to go there. These guys are not ambushers, they just get real in that's who he is, and he has made that a strategy for his life and he doesn't consider himself. He considers himself a work in progress. This is one of the most charming guys you're ever going to meet. There's just something refreshing about people that are real, honest and authentic, and that's exactly who charlamagne THA. God is we're going to get busy with their legitimate? We ve done. Each other shows our since they are doing this. They give Avonlea filling. The blanks Phil invites is pretty good Thailand, a great I'd of yeah. I thought his age filling the banks and I was thinking that of play off the fresh prince cannot fresh princes
uncle, was Uncle Phil and was full of makes. Oh really, as does money or the fresh prince, went about their own blanks. No, but fill in the bank would be good to meet you. You got a lighted it, yet you make a lot of money. You gonna have some money. I get a worker, so tell me about your radio show, I believe in a defined Do you have a mission in mind for your radio show a brand in mind a particular mindset. Yeah I've amiss in arm always say that in life you have to meet a perfect balance of wretchedness and righteousness. So for me I feel like when you are blessed with dick the platform that I've been blessed with you know to have a nationalist, indicating radio showed us on an island in the hundred cities and benefit the countries is like you, gotta give the people the right information, not an expert in anything like the brink, the experts,
It's like the bring on voices that, after your liking, uplift people moved the culture forward. I you know recommend books did. I think I can help. You know, empower people in some way, shape or form. I feel like when you got that kind of platform. I think your job, as did the entertain and educate to the best. The ability- and here I agree with that since people can't see. Germane is also just written. A book called shook one anxiety playing tricks on me and has been out for just a little while and he is already a New York Times best selling author is first book was black privilege. This current book is shook one. Yes, sir, and guys I've read this book factor marks. They are looking to charge by will. Allow me I got things marked all through it and I tell you. I heard him on my show at the end of October and one
she said. Is that he's not an expert he's disguise life experience, but let me tell you he's use that life experience in a very insightful way. So if you I haven't read shook one I stand by this book. I recommend it. I think that it is in sight for think it is inspirational, and I think you will find things in here that will change the way you approach the challenges in your life, and I think you will bitch thus in wine less after you read it because it soon If you had chances to go laid out, in about shit or you can just get up and go to some about it and you got up did some about yet. As I say, you know you got a: u their fears, few value that anxieties, fuel and I had every reason to just give it up cachinnation, but those options of you know being broke sitting under the tree being imprisoned or be indeed really scared me and like when I started to get no,
the trouble in some of those experiences started to happen. To me, my father would always say that if you change your life there, you know you nothing one little street places on. I was sure to deaf uniting with smart. You will earn NEO mistakes, while you will often was takes of others. I made some mistakes myself, but I thought the metals mistakes really affecting people to do all that you're. My father was absolutely right. I thought it best. If I then give kid, man is listen to you. How this could everything that we could possibly think they do? already done in history repeats itself. Yes, logic, history, other, why the hell am I sit here? Listen a bunch of people dead two hundred years. It repeats itself. That's why you do it so who do you look up to who are your mentors your father is here positive in your offer, a negative. My father was both. You know he was a positive and negative, because I feel that he was a really good man, but also feel like he instilled in me. I feel like I've. No definition of masculinity
no definition of what a man should be, and I think that the definition that they try to give us usually revolves around getting as much women as possible being as tough as possible, and I think that's the kind of father my it was. He was trying to do it s over me, like I'm catching him, cheat no Mamma and like a frightened him about it and he kind of like chuckled at me with her. You got one girl her here. They one day, you'll understand he was right, good bad cheated Ahmad, my wife at a point where his dislike that'll meteorite rightly know enough the kind of stuff you would instilling me when he was a good man. I taught me how to work hard. He was the one that was in all my ass when I was in the street not do what I was supposed to be doing. I he didn't give up on me, even though you would give me that of love and say things like. Let him die, we collect insurance money. There was tough lobbied. Beat me with an extension comment. We go.
They go back. It was all tough luck. He knows. I think he had a lot of positive within. He just had the negative as far as being a good husband do she's still alive today. Yes, sir, do you ever relationship with him yeah? We had some ups and downs, This year we didn't know better I'd die was having ups and downs, wouldn't good unloading, the might therapies about all the things I historically like about him and especially the way I'm a Mamma ended up. You know, get a divorce in him. You know Mary. Another woman that use Cheat Norma, I'm waiting it's like he asked me to do something for him in a revolved around him in his new family, mighty build a new family like twenty is owed their fine, but it was just like you got real grant aid he's got my three kiss. My ass, his daddy came out two brothers godchildren, eight. Wasn't it
grandchildren like they were actually a grant you that, like really pissed me off in a bad way with you know at the sign, you still have a fear of your father, so you don't confront him about its lack of a toll. Mamma, I told my their prison I to build up the courage to fight to call him and get it off my If I could just call him and get it off my chest, and once I did tat, we ve been in a real globally. How did he take it? He took a very well. He actually didn't give me any resistance and he is first words out. His mouth was you're. Absolutely right. I need to do better simpler that and then I sometimes all it takes is a conversation in other. Sometimes we be fighting, wars were people and we haven't before people. Issues with people in the other person may not even really know why I'm just given over energy like Manna Rock with him. What have never given that person chance to correct the wrong. So you gotta give people a chance to correct the wrong tat, some of the hardest forgiveness of ever done, the people,
never even knew that they had transgressed. Me- and I don't even know it till today, because the forgiveness is on this in the air. They don't even have to know. Sometimes you let yourself free, when you finally do away. They look. I'm not going to invest in any more I'm a fight. Now, when I used to think forgiveness was overrated, but they now, I feel, like forgiveness, is Canada only way that either you gonna forgive somebody. Aid is gonna hold onto a hate in the hate. Really just stresses you out more describing them ya. Think when you hate somebody things like your law can a bond with them they dislike their people out I spend the rest of my life locked in his bond with them and they divided The is like holy shit. I'm free. I don't have to invest in him any more for the Esther, my while only care if they know it I've, let go pain with a model, have any energy with em idle and it changes
who you are. It changes the way, your father, a husband, a friend, hates like a skunk per me. Its everything every party, your life. So when you let go, I mean it's great always say I think we have. Ten. Defining moments, makes seven critical choices and meet five pivotal people by the time were forty years old. It says, like your dad, would be one of your five pivotal people. A line of ASEAN I represent is an interesting as you have panic attack lilies. I have panic attacks because I don't want to be anything like him. I want the good that he had, but I don't want to bad at all, because I feel like the bad is kind of like what ruined our family for a more, I want to say, ruin with a kind of like shifted the trajectory of away our family would go into that. My oldest am pops. I am a pops. My two younger brothers, in my little sister, had my pops in peace
you know, because he was with a whole another family. By that time I don't think that affected the family in a positive way. So is like things like cheating all my wife scare me so much not only because I feel, like I'm, hurting my life partner and hurting the closest person to me, but also because I don't want to when my happy home, but I don't wanna, be a guide parttime. Father, that's coming brown all we gave. You know I feel, like you, gotta, being a children's life every single day, micromanaging it s situation. Tell me this. How do you think like right now, you would say you're, certainly successful, there's, a father, a husband and in business right. Yes, sir, You become who you are today, what guy you to be who you are versus somebody that was born on the same street. You were born on, went to the same school. You were when you
Does graduate my you all went out the same door into the world. There may be working at seven, eleven or a factory or maybe not at all, and here you are world famous and you have a healthy marriage with beautiful children. Why are you where you are in there? Where they are choices now? Is a death not a matter of chance as a matter of choice? This is what I chose to do. I chose to do radio United and have a college degree in I'd, have anything else to fall back on our looking to do something positive. You know I was I was selling crack. You know I was in and out of jail. You know I got kicked out two eyes. Coups d known, I ended up graduating from from night school and I had to make a conscious decision to say you know what man I gotta create positive energy in my life was positive. Energy is what activate constant innovation, actually you that as the acronym for peace, so hostile
working much jobs. I worked at a closed markets demo. I worked at a telemarketing place. I used to be to God. I would call you out and try to say you can see these four penny. You now worked at a warehouse, flower garden, Taco Bell and I stumbled across the radio position because I used to want to wrap like most brothers in a lot of time when you black and you from the hood, the people, you see that a successful that look like you are. You then have let it
tame it I mean I'm only five six, so you know daft legs thing. Wasn't no work out. You know filling a loose on different exactly so I thought I wanted the rap and I'm Vienna is recording studio. I meet a guy named Willie will and he was a local radio personality which authorised alkaline. As I just asked the message, how did you didn't radio I'm an inquisitive person even to the attic, to ask a lot of questions, especially when I see people in positions of spaces that I would like to be in you decide on one January, and I got an internship, no like it's that easy and he was like a mighty uses. Ninety ninety eight in Charleston, South Carolina arouses, was that either. So that's what I did I went down. It felt that the internet should papers in. I got my foot into the door, radio and I didn't look back our member no starting off at the regular. In turn,
Dr Anastasia vehicles, you know gone there with the shocks to put up posters in stuff at the different remote. I will go into jobs we'd if they need a weed and they really like to have me around in Avonlea STAR requesting you could you get mixture Charlemagne ASEAN is driving us did as remote? Oh, I would always be around, and in life will he would have me talk on the radio and different another personalities be shot me out and one day the music direct, the name raw whitey was like. Oh, you should be on a radio Yoda Bobby on air, and I know what I am now they started. Let me voice track. Levin had three on Sunday morning that turned into me during my own Schiff, seven a midnight on Saturday night in his dislike. I got bit with their bug out like this is what I want to do with my life like. I would do this for free.
And I have done it for free, so you knew when you first gun for other MIKE and started talking you you. This feels right to me a hundred percent, a nose off when I have a tattoo of wool varying from the x men on my arm holding a microphone. I got this tat. Do not like seventeen eighteen years old when tattoos, where illegal in South Carolina and I knew that a microphone was going changed my life. But I thought that that microphone symbolized me wrapping, but no, it symbolise me being a radio personality abroad, catholic microphones, what changed my life, but I knew I sat in that radio station and I listen to Tom joining Doug banks and listen to Howard Stern AL. I thought it was in the old, Frankie Crocker in Pity Green I said to myself: if I'm going to do radio, I want to do it on that level. I wanna be what they call a super Jacques, when I dont want to be a guide. As you know, during the time in temperature- and you know it
Deuce in the next arms, on a rate, a local radio station somewhere like I wanted to be a personality in every sense of the word, and I didn't have any reason to believe that I could get their other than I believed I test kit, nothing more and nothing less. Could nobody else my family did radio. I don't have any any body to look too and say: oh yeah, a guy was a radio personnel Yoda Guy with a tv for analogy like nothing. No reason to believe other than I believe. How did you pick your style and your brand in your flap on your book in the book we're talking about his shook one anxiety playing tricks on me, which I want to keep doing shameless plugs. This? Could you gotta read this book act shit, you none! You gotta read this book is good and is not trying to be somewhere, I shall here is trying to be some backdoor. Therapist he's telling from an experience what he's gone through, what he
those through with anxiety and panic, attacks and PTSD, and if you want talk about San talk to us, You talk about anxiety and panic attacks talk to somebody this been there. I mean it as it gets to tell you I'm a senator, I will do it, but how did you pick? Your style is, as you like. You do challenging celebrity interviews, so you're Deanna on the radio right? I that's what they say. We know the days, but whoever protests in you books hiding right dad part like ass somebody talking about me, but I'm the best thing about I initial radio style that I didn't know how to do radio fresh off the streets amongst colonists. Caroline. I do a radio and Charles and psychological twenty minutes away
like. I did not know how to do radio only then. What do we do it I'm doing right now, which is having conversations that ass, which separate me from all the other announcers that were on the stage and everybody else was the time at which a person introducing the next song I didn't like sometimes that beyond microphone eyes and found that being a drug, I would answer to phones and be talking to people in playing the cause over to air and like DES. Would you no kind of propelled me defected? I did not know how to do traditional radio, and I think there s something that had just you know. I've carried with me. Do you the strategy I mean: do you like Bay, your guess, sometimes in the things that are controversial, because I've seen a lot of footage. You the guy walk out with Burma. Birdmen it out now is actually about a couple years ago. Who had you know a historically I had always given by man a lot of shit because, like you know, he's had a reputation for not paying his art is in. You know it was a picture of him in one of his.
May not a little way. You know kissing on the lips, so I would like to say that like the hypocrisy of the noble and lay he does never like that. So as dislike death, that's that's a prime example of rational anxiety because when he came to the station like I knew you would come into the station near renewed, he was coming to do an interview. I knew what I had me saying about him, I'm not clueless. I knew he was gone. Confront me about it. So it s not wanted old moments where I'm gonna go into a panic attack mood because I know he's coming which something I just don't know what that that something is so it's not like. I have a style of I want again under this person. Skin is just that I'm going to address was out there and I think that the times have changed a lot, because we live in such aid to transparency. To all these artists in these ass leads and celebrities. They know what is being said about them is just as certain outlets they go to aren't nor ass. The most obvious question, but I could be sitting here with a horn sticking out of my head and people would just sit there:
talk to you about the weather, like it's, not a big horn sticking idea, hedge elemental delay, so why that horrid, sticking idea, which is a very simple question? No, I learned from my three oh no materials very question is why everything is why why why why, why do you drinking water, why your wise, Skyblue yeah? Why everything is why not, I feel like everything is why Larry King also taught me that liking said to me. The best question you can always ask is why, and I just feel like. I always ask why question of spit whole career. I based my whole career on figuring out why people do what they do and don't do it. They don't do I mean that has propelled me since I was twelve years old near why people do what they do and don't do what they don't do it. You figure that out you got a leg up on the world map and why it is so hard to do what it is supposed to do it so easy to touch it
but it gives you a leg up. Do you still have as much passion is much fun doing radios you did when you really gotten your blood year depends the ups and downs in I mean I love it. Don't get me wrong, I love it is very challenging, but you have to be like. I said you gotta be very cognizant of what your doing as a human being, meaning. How are you going? How are you a volume like, I think? Sometimes we can get caught up in being caricature of ourselves, and you noticed something I always said I didn't want to do, but at times you know in the past eight years on, a breakfast club deftly found myself getting caught up in a car to show me because of the things you read in that flap in order things you read about yourself in magazines and accomplish you'll, see about yourself. When you too, I twitter, you start trying to be what it is. People are saying you are like if you're getting attention for a certain thing than you feel like, though consciously you start pushing more of that, actually being yourself. I think I'm having more fine now,
Finally, like back to be What it is I am. I don't want to talk about their be right now want to talk about me vulnerable. I want to talk about my anxiety, like these d visa, creating some great conversations on a breakfast club nowadays. So what do you think your reputation is. High cholesterol affects more than a hundred million Americans and is a major risk factor for heart disease. The number one cause of death in the? U S, while healthy lifestyle choices can help me these high cholesterol. Often not enough status or attack? The medication is proven to be safe and effective in the treatment of high cholesterol. There are multiple status. Options available, but they're not all the same. If you have- high cholesterol and are experiencing any challenges with your medication. Talk to your doktor, because There may be another one that is more right for you check out, take cholesterol to heart, dot com.
A great educational resource from coliform circles. America ink as with all. Medications. Side effects can occur with withstand use and your doktor is always the best source for information and answers check out, take cholesterol. Heart dot com and talk to your doktor about finding the right step for you. I don't think I have one set repartee reputation a day of: U S, ten different people about me, o Reilly. The ten different answers you know, but I feel like as long as the core inside the same than I think, I'm on the right path, like of if the people say alleys Ariane is audio. He's not dead to unity say dominated what he is he could I can take all at it. You got always was really so magazine. Would you be across weighs about a good friend His name is loaded. While he's a comedian. Slash accordingly, it is because the ETA you gotta hit song yet the number one song in the country on a abarbanel be charged. This year's call smile beach
I heard him all my show last year in me with you day week that we had JANET mark on the show. An arm Morocco Hose was showing the water cover agenda months book- and he asked her you know: did you got into a conversation about Kyoto? Commitment? Would damage with banning transgender from the military and Morocco has asked him if he slept with a woman in the woman, told him she used to be a man. What would he do in his response was I would be so mad. I wanna killer was I wore. Will you can't say that never hate crime where you can go around talk? but killing changing the women and it was like he caught so much backlash within I caught so much backlash is well just because me, you know they felt like. I gave him the platform, the Saint Anthony Notice, my frame, and so I just got caught in the crossfire in rolling stone actually
ran a headline saying: Charlemagne God under fire for Transphobia comrades. I didn't make two comments. That will mean rolling stone. Adam had a little issue. Bianca's ought rather to time and listen to what was said about. I didn't get it, the agency should know about you know I didn't do I didn't pushed back as hard as I should have, but I guess, because I'm not a member of the house, Bt Community- and so is like I didn't understand what transgendered and transsexuals going through at the time- and I didn't know, the murderer- was I around transgender sexual than why that statement was so triggering economy. If that was a conversation about, race. Ah, you know violence against women in, I would probably put back a lot harder ennobled being it. It was the change and, as I was I I didn't take it is there
as I said? Well, you guys settled that in a really charitable way, though right you really stone talk about. That will be what you know. We were nice enough to cut it check to arm black algae BT right group so Well, I was good, I mean you have settled it and it turned out to actually benefit a group asked usually my life, that's why I've learned net impact sometimes is greater than intention yeah cause I've learned in my life tat, I can have the greatest of intentions in things still go to Rockaway. Who did it? do we turn out the way I wanted him to which sometimes like impact is just greater, because I can have the greatest intentions when I say something, but it may not come out the right way in may impact people negatively. So I think sometimes you got a focus on impact. Morton actual intention was to impact
your words will be not the intention that it tell me about anxiety, for you was the first time that you, You said you didn't know, anxiety was a thing you didn't know. It was a middle condition a most. No condition it was treatment worthy now How did you know now you figure it out. Looking back, when did you start for you? Who is the first time you had something that would qualify when I was like ten girl Hurricane Hugo, amongst one talking. A lot already goes a category five that hits alkaline. At the time we were living in a single, wide trailer. Remember everybody on our debt road had to evacuate. We all wanted his local elementary school call. I feel a major issue and it was dislike. Listen, it's all a panic from the adult. You know them saying things. I've been on, the trail is gonna, be there Mara House now Colombia we might make it do deny like. I remembered at Saint fail in Heartbeat
No, that's the first time I remember having it, but I mean I've had it so much to all my life. Live man in his soul. Wigs, I think about but when I think about times wise to hide in the wood that's the first time I remember having it, but I mean I've had it so much to our live man in his soul. Wigs, I think about times wise to in the world, hide in the key our field away from people just because I didn't want to see certain individuals, because I would have such bad pan. Attacks you know. Sometimes I would be having a panic attack and want to be After long and noted one of my name was white. Come walking down a road out my seat, him from a distance in died off in the car feel just like get away from names. I've been having panic attacked. My whole life does not know what they were Lena. What triggers it? Have you learned what triggers or its way magazine like? I don't know what the word, what is it, what is sort of like me, mental hypochondriac am hypochondriac period really we ate, but I'm a mental hypochondriac as well as on the type of person to see.
Something on the news like some rare disease and think that I'm gonna get it. You know our members Arabin a pimp, see he died December forth like two thousand and seven and they just found him. In a hotel room and nobody knew what he had died for originally. So in some people are saying it was a heart attacks armor, but at a whole day, convincing myself, but I was gonna die of a heart attack that day that I could not shake get out of my head. So much so did I went to the emergency room that night. Got to emergency room, got to tell you what I always tell me like. There's nothing wrong with your heart. Your heart is fine. Did you have a panic attack like a panic town, forgetting that he now happening out anxiety. The jasmine caffeine energy drink, like oh, I drink a red border day, so I could always point to something else to deflect from the fact that no you just have anxiety, whether was stress are energy drink. Like
Oh, like you have an existing, I added I had to get a handle on natural, I'll, necessarily know what caused it could be little thing that they had a packet technical. We spoke, as my calls were important story about human trafficking, as you somebody's little girls even found in Michigan, Then a little social media is like some human trafficking going on in Virginia and automatically just start thinking about my ten year old daughter. You know in China push all out of my head because I feel, like you thought you really do become things like. I say the only reason I'm here right now, because I believe that He is all the things I want to happen in my life are constantly think about I don't want to happen, I don't think about low. So what causes the panic attacks for me is when these those negative thought keeps happening, yea patenting happening yea and then, if it does manifests itself, God forbid, I feel like I created it. You know
first book I wrote was called lie strategies and I wrote about the ten loss of life, and one of them is what I fear I create. If you think about it, what I fear I create it's like with athletes. If their fear, they're gonna hurt their knee because I've come back too soon they are, funny they favour it. They'll create the very thing, they're afraid I'm here. I can't do it anymore. Because my daughter is in fifth, but I used pop of my daughter. Big here, all the time, Papa, better schools are you now you can't. You can't walk up into school anymore, because either five gravely I used to do that for me MR relieve my shit. Ok, yeah, that's it simple! A dagger them in there can be little did I can watch a video about a woman daycare beaten up on a child. You know- and I know what the hell is wrong with these people- causes, like I remind you that a pop up, a major everything's gonna, be ok, I guess was one reason. I really don't like to stay. Any I'm flying out on the Red out and make that is wont to get back home
I got a lot like this data night places I dislike to be home and when my kid call me: in the middle of the night I wanna be there a certain degree of vigilance, not a bad idea in this day and time. I agree that you know it. You get overdo it, but You gotta remain vigilant. So what kind of thing they are you getting? What are they doing for your anxiety? What works for you or worse me, his arm exercises now have a very sensible therapists who. Listen to all my story than she listened with intent to understand, just reply in what really may me really dig out one day out came in and unloaded on her and she looked at me. She goes well.
I would like a life a lot right issues like yeah and she just kind of life sat there for a second endangers Connell. I walked me through it and you know in she teaches me like just simple breathing exercises can sometimes have all our really need. I got does need to talk myself off the ledge and figure away the keep those negative thoughts from repeating my mind. Twelve hundred fourteen hundred times for a minute, like you said, you may think, physically exercise August Grass bars address bar that work out. Three. What times a week you I think about when I was young, I repeat daily affirmations myself unite all they are loved over got anything Jesus Christ. I loved all guidance and Jesus Christ. I loved you over gardeners. Sundays cries, go away, saying always saying always saying I know I'm a panic attacks. Would you really think I was going to say fuck Satan vaccine folks eaten? Could my mentality was in the Bible? Is this a job said little joke rose garden dies whether vodka Satan be blessed
so that's what I used to do so is this. I repeat: in casting daily affirmation of the myself praying taking deep breaths even a really like call getting to the source of whatever it is You know that wherever my anxiety is the problem, sometimes when the saucy, your anxiety is literally something that I saw on television, something I read in a magazine, something I heard in the radio something I heard happen to somebody else. You know have had no friends who's who my worst fear has halved. To them. You know, like you, noted the fear of losing your wife not losing like the boys but like dying and like a car accident. You I'm saying I recently had something like that happen and dislike May you know when you hear TAT story, and then you don't have the words for your friend.
You know that you have the word to tell your friend, and I did try to think about your friend, which are also not trying to think about historic is when you think about that story, makes you think about your own situation in something like that happened into to your wife, so it s like the the tricky part of how to deal with that kind of stuff, men and ass? I did I'm trying to navigate now when you say your hypochondriac. Do you read about something or see something on tv? Is that what triggers that was it at the album get a bowler you know I thought I'd want Sars, any any at all it s when moaning, since then the bomb, the pipe bombs and they descended by bombs. Just now Notwithstanding the bombs in Austin Texas, the random people literally laughing when it was sent in by bombs, are pulled up to my house, and I just saw all these boxes on the porch I'm circle in the past in hope.
Trying to see what the labels are than? Oh, my god, I desire, you know noises order. Is there if you think you have a disease or you think that you get infection or something. What do you do about it? How does it paralyze you that immediately, like my mind, my doctor will tell you right now. I feel that you can yet another fiscal Ohashi like you're you're far, I promise you you're fine. My friend I last year of stomach cancer. You know and I remember I visited him a week before he like. Really we bad in you know he died in whose name was Reggio, say, combat Jack, and he was just telling me all the symptoms you like. Oh my stomach started to give big, and I thought it was because I was needed right and allowed nor somewhat drinking and enough got sick, and I want to ask me to item. We got it to happen. It was day for cancer. So, in my mind,
look in the mirror like Amazon, beginning obey, like you got that right and is making up stuff in I'm going to do that. Then she like. What are you talking about likes you like? What are you talkin I know that still going on, but you're in therapy, what are they doing about you're thinking about that? It is a process like this talk him away. Do it you know she's, talking me off the ledge and alighted situations like you know. She gives real simple levice. Like you know, you do realize all, in your mind, like you wanted a doctorate like year that decide your fine right light year. So what's the issue in a like, I don't know, that's why I'm here? How can teach you now, though, is gonna like this rationalizing things in your brain ass, wide ass, while believe, unlike irrational anxiety in rational anxiety and I'm not on any medication, is yet and put me on any medication.
She's gonna, like taught me, do it in and give me access review exercise. Do you ever get nervous when you're getting ready to do an appearance? Yes, I do like in front of an audience or somethin. Yes, but I expect that just let me when I say rational, I'm gonna come out on your show. I know a more live television I know that is a bunch of people out there watching me. So I can't you know, get myself in a Cindy. Brady Brady Boys moment would allow comes I'm just sit near the camera. Frozen Lego is think a swim. At this point I expect dad anxiety in those situations, but once you're out there like, when you were all my show, it wasn't thirty forty five sex. That you know how to read a room immediately know this, it's really likes you. They like us together there having fun with us. Havin fun. Do you.
Come on out and immediately get yet therapeutic relax gaze therapeutic for me in a you know like I don't like. Compliments for whatever reason I'm unity Somebody tell me they hate me mornings, are you telling me to like me? So even when you say the room is cool and is a good vibration. I do feel that energy, but I know I can't play too that crowd either. So what I really do in those situations is just be me by what I've learned all my life is live my truth, so nobody can use much proof against me. The easiest thing in the world, For me to do is be myself. If I try to be anything out, I'm gonna lose every single time. Does that border to get and before they get me now? What do you mean you? Don't like? Compliments and paid to the rue de la doesn't like you should play the robot. I, like your heels, your heroes, cheers and then, when you say something, I don't hate it years, you'll be questioning yourself like. Oh, my god did obviously some stupid like the debt. Suck oh, they they think I'm trash. Now you say
he would write it up a day. S got sensitive to it. So for me, I'm just out there telling my story telling my experience. You asked me a question. I am answering it. However, the crowd reacts is how D reacts like. I can't play to the crowd in try to get a laugh from the crowd or try to get it from the crowd radiated like I was gonna tell my store, but understand when you? are being truthful and you are being. I think you know that plays Laszlo. You know people know the truth when they hear and feel like the universe responded, honest people, I'm always truthful. He's good weather is bad weather is ugly. That's why I have no problem sharing any experiences from my life. You know, could I just feel like for you, you go do certain things because you know, God is working through you he's making you go to certain so he can work. Do you to reach other people? Do you need anxiety? He s
I feel, like anxiety, is a lot of people's spider since in a lot of ways, If you became calm, if all of a sudden british chill all the time you didn't have these really! bird sensitive, anxious moments? Do you think you would lose something Yes, I lose my age in the funny part about that is, does will really made me, so Why should there be largely because I was having those moments in moments of what should have been serenity and which should have been peace? Oh you like you sitting around and everything is all good like financially everything's. All good health is good. You, kids, like I'm literally in the house, I know of my daughter's or at a nor my wife is that I should have no anxiety in this moment and then all of a sudden thinking about all evasion. Do you think you don't deserve the success? I do that will be found out. I mean this is arguably taken away the observant eyes,
I gotta go. I don't even know why. I feel that way. I don't feel like. I did anything special. That's why trot go out of my way when I'm in This is no mean I wanted. I say hello to everybody like I'm, not know better than anyone. I don't care who lay hi? How are you could I don't feel like I'm even supposed to be here He knows all of you. Let me welcome myself and introduce myself to everyone. You know has actually believe that man is will take. You were money won't, as with some that's what my grandma I thought we manage to take your money. Won't, I feel like when you are in the nice, is present in the city. Cohesion, and I don't have any particular skills. That's what I think he's given me. What keeps getting the opportunities is people saying I, like him, he's a nice guy he's a pleasure to work with, and I feel like that would give me coming back to people accused of having people bring me back. Do you think you have a damage, personal truth, ere? They were damaged.
You know. I think that will never be whole. I got thing that is certain things in my life that I don't think I could ever truly forgive myself or because you know, when you come from note, you think about a lot of damage that you ve got no right to sell crack. You know and I could think of situations like you know, a young woman whose mother was a crack in this young woman was like superbly intelligent leg. Sixteen as a team type, intelligent and rear could go to any college she wanted to, but she's show the go to a school in South Carolina would come home every weekend, just to watch mom, could our mom was grown out on cracking? We were the servant crack and eventually she stopped going to college altogether. So in my mind, I feel like indirectly waste. We stop this young ladys progress. So you know, I think, is easy to patch yourself one to back in
talk about how you made it out it. But what about all the damage you cause? While you were in a hood and due to families, you may have ruined through your actions no as life for me. That's. Why try to pay a forward so much, and I try to do so much for my community and you know it s why a mental health- these kids. Nowadays I try to be to adult. I don't try to be. My life goal is to be the adult that I needed when I was a chair by the keys do you take time to give yourself credit for that now, good I'll show that you should get credit for doing what it is that is supposed to be doing. Give you putting together a self image self worth self esteem you the inventory everything on both sides of the ledger right and, if all you do is take inventory of the stuff you fucked up, all you do is say: I did this in her. I did this. I did that achieved it. I don T and you dont,
but anything on the positive side. The ledger then you're your. Do yourself right there shall I dig doing I do I gotta do something good for somebody. I don't go broadcast in it. Not even to myself, I was in Chicago is pass added a in my own grow kindred g. She does radio in Chicago. She was tell me a story about something. I differ, a decade ago, then, how you remember she was telling the audience like, and I knew he was such a good present because he'd any man to do tat. I never really know him like daddy, he wasn't trying to sleep with me are anything he just didn't. Have the goodness of his heart numb like she'll? Do you remember that I'd like nope could have this time a person? I am so it's like. I'm not keeper record a very good thing. I'd I'd do for somebody else. They would just NL itself, attribution amid or there's a whole school of thought about self attribution. That is, we form opinions,
other people based on our observations of em right like if you ve got somebody that works at your studio, there there every morning right on time. They got everything ready their buttoned up, never miss! I mean you just know there is reliable as a clock, so you watch that you see it and so a tribute to the unreliability dependability. You a tribute, those traits and characteristics to him, based on those observations. We from our own self image. The same way we watch what we do particular they in situations that matter crisis situations, difficult situations we want but we do and based on our observation, Zeb ourselves. We a tribute traits and characteristics to ourselves as if we fail to do that, then our self image is flops around. It never takes a direction and if you d Ah yourself, those attribution Then you don't ever get an accurate image of yourself and that leaves
vulnerable to things like hypochondria anxiety and that sort of thing, because you're, not your best friend you dont, know yourselves in the opinions of others as well. Give your power wait. Other people I mean most people, it does not need to be loved by strangers. Thank God I got painters on the internet dislike I'm sure you do on of his enough enough. Another source of my anxiety about actual that we too, as like you, ve gotta, be frightened. Goes like this oh, like their literal phantom lot on never meet these people in my life. I understand what you say: no, because I do feel like my purpose in life. The thing that makes me fulfil and more than anything is service to others. Like I genuinely love helping people. When I say I want to be added, Did I needed every child, like I love using my resources to empower other people? That's what I love more than any thing like nothing makes me feel better than the one in the system.
Basketball player. I would lead the league and assist I do. I do understand that aspect of your good father. I can be better. I think I'm good. I think I can be better. You know I could be more attentive, I don't want to be there. You know I want to be very present. Is a different being there being present here. You know, I think, sometimes I'm just there and I have this to blame allowed at times. He knows until that is gonna. Take this smartphone stored in a drawer. In lock it up and leave it alone and on flying out on a red, eyed and night, because I want to go into the shakes her or a hundred work longer bigoted, whereas one I don't want to read out a magazine, those Halloween mine, I wanna, do I gotta fly as I am a suit, and I want to go on go trick or treating where my daughter, you know I gotta be a puppy robins, a kitten, I'm a puppy for granted don't have ears, doubt sizes.
Could be better like I did get. Would that too? Could I feel like I'm not good, would like. My second daughter doesn't pay me no intention whatsoever, like she really treat me like a letter like if I walk into don't you hated Dhabi by people, she'll come running and, like all that's his daddy and like go back about business smile and held a she. Three God loves. We welcome to the world near yeah. Yeah trust me that ain't about you have not about me. No, that's, ok, that's her, my order that is different from our own daughter, like I guess, can I got fired. She was born June, two thousand and eight I got fired for the third time for radio November two thousand and eight, and so I was home for like seven. Eight months would have liked to have that whole process and my wife we're Goin works. I was fino bottles and changing our divers me encourages have connection like when my three year old, I was in the middle of all. It is the law. It is breakfast club action in
television and all that out other kind of stuff, so I wouldn't like really present, like I needed to be enough for the deaf scare me about my third daughter like so I tried to get home and make shows a holder, and she knows me she filled my heart beating as they say so. Hopefully we have that that mom, I'm not your therapists, but if I was one of the things I would do would be really influence you to make a self attribution list- and you say I'm a good father and I get good- is the enemy of great. So it's not that these rights are good, but because you're so task oriented and you go- go, go doo, Doo, Doo, outside
gotta make a list of your personal truth. I think personal truth is so important because we generate the results. We think we deserve regenerates results. We think reserve and I had a really damage. Personal truth is my father. Was such a bad alcoholic here? You'd never bring your friends home when Young alcoholic Father did one night cause. It was just by accident. We can a in that part of the neighbourhood fifth grade saw him in the driveway. Thought was trash can blown over its February in Denver. It's him asleep in the driveway in the house you got hot made perfect says to him to come out distant. His box or shores with us pillow lay down the driveway. Like twenty degrees, you walk up with six or eight friends knew you'd drunk fatherland driveway.
Shit yeah. What do you say and the problem with prickly kids, whereby does it is we compare our personal truth to their social man They may be bore screwed up than you are, but you don't see that you compare your personal truth to their social. Madam, you always lose O candidate NAFTA, almost social media exert exertion media's pain. Is this? Creating is unattainable picture perfection all these selfies girls they take. Eleven hundred of them before they put one as a fact, and it's got be photoshopped and all nobody looks like that. The problem. Is that, like, like social me, Is everybody's highlight rule. I do not see any two shots nobody's missing but think that they are taking net
or to reality perfection and try to try to bring it into the real world and they try to make all of us walk around and act like we're soul, perfect, like nobody's expressing their personal truth, say, go to quote. One of my books is not even Christie. Brinkley looks like Christie Brinkley by Christie. Brinkley was, it is true, I think with you. I will tell you, got it right down the good things and then put it to do list out there, like I'm a good father to do list be better, yeah, I'm a good has had to do list be better, but you gotta give yourself credit for the things you do and writer you. If you don't reinforced the good stuff you'll, never repeat it. You'll never built on a visa reinforced the good stuff Yang for grimaces said always do your best. I just feel like you know. I want to lie to myself. I guess maybe I'm just too Otto myself like I want to put down
all the positive things about myself like none of that is. None of that is accurate, no smell like bullshit, you stuff, but aren't you line to yourself? If you don't recognize that you are a vigilant, loving father is very true. I dont know many parents wooden die for their children. You would die for you, Children within our prayers were actually my prayers. I tell got anything negative. You want to have ended in what happened to me. Most parents would die for their children. A much smaller group will live their children or an you are one of those
will. It will live for you, Joe refuse. You will not get alpine fly home in the middle of the night and a lot of people wouldn't do that, and you know why compliments, but I did this for living. I'm telling you that something you have to acknowledge yourself. Forecasts it'll cause you to do it more. Do it better and they'll appreciated that you have to go, I announced to the world, I'm a great father. You have to affirm yourself. These are the good things one embrace and do more or less you identify those things as a target. How do you know you have to identify those inside? These are good. They found him.
Listen do more of jointly, then it gets to be habitual and in your daughter's grow up and look for a man does what you did hundred percent the most powerful role model in any child's life is the same sex parent and the second most powerful model is the other sex parent and they learn about men from their father. I was it. You said that Roma in that's, where they gillis what they look for new, absolutely right on others What do you want for your children to do when they grow up? Do you care as long as it's passion or ya them in mind? Now I mean you know it s answer ethic and my daughter martini owed his
was accurate members you miss Asian, wants to be a Dennis issue. Was too good a Harvard? I know she got therefrom now took her to Harvard you know a couple times without spoke there but death. Her thing she wants to be a Dennis issue was too good a Harvard ass was she sees me talking about that literally said, she's been about nobody wants for Dennis. She wants to be a Dennis. I she'd cheese, Hell bent on one to be a Dennis and I'm not I'm not gonna stop their passion ass. She loves gymnastics, you know so dislike whatever me, Perhaps you and I'm not. One of those people are not met the typical American who thinks that successes equated to celebrity. Could I think, that's one of the worst thing that America's deal we right now. We think that success equates to some folks a celebrity. I think that if somebody right now, I don't think I know there's somebody in Chad. We're not gonna make it fitted out and out of the year they got a house. They are food on the table, their families great in their happy. That is success to me as a subjective, you know that you now you re making made it out. What have you not happy doing what it is
did you know and ass night success. So I would ever makes her happy. Whatever makes any of them happy. I will be pleased safe and happy. That's all that's all. I want. They'll say I never met a man on his death bed said I wished. I spent more time at the office You ever hear the exactly that's. Why even now is that, even though you know we get announced, is radio personality, tv personality, Arthur executive producer, like aimed at an angle, we want also hops again by surprise a loving father and husband. Does it close to our kids, we're not that now to our kids, where it is dear you're, there there so unimpressive, I am at the point, I would give me anxieties, I'm doing China. Cool in doing the latest dances and they look at me, I you know,
does a unit trying to do the muffin or whatever they, incidentally, like like daylight, definitely floss definite sailor, your stuff. What are you doing dad like dad dad stop stuff? that's the guy that is standing to me. I want you, the everyday all day and my kids like nothing and then they'll this catch me just a glimpse in the audience there, the football game or something there's hurried near. I was here and initiate this funny, I'm like at my daughter. I took it the original in time, but I took her to the premier earlier this year in L, a so was the actual permit. It miss able do honey, you know, did so it's like a dubious there in east rain or when free and she's she meets all of these people,
she's excited to see some Disney girl, I've never even heard of in my life and my life like a static like jumping up and down on your calm down. Don't act like that for people meanwhile wish you would act like that would offer none of them. Are you just met all pro you realize nine years old and you just met Oprah Winfrey she's, a citizen We did a book report on you earlier this year would act, I didn't know who you are my wife, like doing you don't shut up of the same way. Both my boys grew up with Oprah just in the house all the time and they see as highly worry. If you look ahead, ten years. What are you doing ten years from now? I would hope that arm, I'm still on a spiritual journey, might think about how I feel
Forty, I entered a new era, actually tried to backtrack and think that I feel is where thirty did? I feel this way at twenty at forty, I felt a shift. I felt my energy shift. I felt like I was in in an and a new territory, and I don't know it was because of all the maintenance I had been doin, leading up to my forty of bought birthday by, like you know, Goin therapy in likeness, trying to be spiritually sound as I possibly could be, or even just in a really do. Right by my wife leg I mentioned this is nothing to brag about. Haven't you like three and we ve got a twenty year by the way- and I mean she cheated on me as well in the process of this whole twentieth thing as an actor at the her too, but when you love somebody, you know new forgiven, you keep moving so just like I have really been doing would have supposed to be doing. I feel, like I did into this his new Roma forty solve in ten years when I have fifty, I go to another realm and I hope that this decade is just a decade of growth in ever
who's your non spiritual level on our emotional level we now update my daughter is in college and the next, in years. You know my mind, my other Martha two daughters by watching her lead and her example in saying I want to do my big sister does and hold them My wife was still together and where you noses loving in his strong as we had we, we ve always been so Everything I want to do in the next ten years really is is a personal think. Now, in a professional level, I hoped at the first. Man knows the late night tv show you know now before since then you had a moment since our sinew rule, and you know what I think it worth while dead. You know wagon do that one day could I feel, like you, know, I love Stephen obeys from South Carolina. Like me, always Help me on another leaner lie. Like we found him little God would make any some color in s face. You know, rule do make a lot of television
you would be really gotta there. I think so you can't scripted you just gotta go there and talk to people I mean really be inquisitive and you got a really ass. You know, questions at the viewer would want to ask yeah, but I am also and on MTV, to outline five pieces, which was a good training ground for me, was gone and common sense in right. You know in January right. Ok, I did you know. Last year got the opportunity to switch seats which Stephen Colbert in he. Let me sit in his desk. Interview him and I was like you now. You can feel your future like I felt my future fell right. My future. In that moment, I'm like this is this is A future like I was wearing my future. He made it Joe. He goes. Could I ask them to one of the questions After my said arm, you know what are you doing? Well,
you using your white privileged to combat prejudice and he goes you're sitting in it nobody feels very warm and is capable of doing so is like a doll dead. You know, that's what I thought I would we go and personal and professional there's a couple things I want to cover from the book and new knowledge you go to you gotta, be somewhere. You talk about epigenetic inheritance, talk about what you mean by that when it was a study done about oh it's that definition right there from the book, yeah the passing from one generation to another of the effect that environmental factors as nutrition activity, social interaction, sleep added, etc. It had on the expression of a specific gene, and it was a study done on the descendants of Holocaust, survivors and they had a dining tramline PTSD.
In outlay yachting due to study on anybody else in America. Like you, think, African Americans don't go to that. Look I gotta Hombre. Ms Annual awry, she talks about PTSD being post traumatic slave disorder and I truly feel that way like you know, even if it's just something as simple as when police get behind you and you get nervous- is a black for us and I'm a guy up hello, reliability, Gath agent is something up will over that might go back to win this. Does the police were slave catches? What I used to go out and have to round up the slave that we're trying to escape said I could just be that. Could I don't know I feel that way when cool you buy me like I'm, not doing anything illegal, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm not in the streets, no more! So why? I feel that way, so I feel like absolutely. I feel like that pain is just passed on from generation to generation? And I think it takes us to break that cycle of pain, because you can't hear what you don't.
Reveal like this is probably the first generation of made net are actually emitting were damaged, like we have trauma like did they There we used a normal, I than the hood aren't normal and we're trying to break down cycle in Bristol Chase. Let me say to you for people. If you didn't a little beyond the website to witness the passing from one generation to another of the fact that environmental factors such as nutrition, active the social interactions, sleepers etc has had on the expression of a specific gene, and it's not about identifying the g. The important thing is that all these factors are passed on from generation to generation and they're. Just there it is there and I've seen it like Unita. What your father, Leonardo and my father was a girl. You know
her father was in another area of my father. Had scrubbers, we would cocaine abuse. You know, and I feel, like the alcohol ass big hit me for a second and then when I started to think about Mamma Mamma. The sand is vividly like you need to be careful because you have alcoholism around runs in your family n. You know, like I look at like my life brother, they have got to The three d you I'm in you know it's like I kind of backed away from it in an escape me, but then I see a kind of hit,
many different ways. That is. Let me know that that is real. So you know you got a really do be be careful. I've had to tell my boys because robins there was about alcoholic mother was about alcoholic and I haven't had a drink since I was sixteen. So I've had to tell my boys because they had not seen it and it can skip generations of look. You don't realize that you are predisposed to this because you ve never seen you dare take a drink. Oh, so don't go to sleep on this cause, your pre wired man as oh, don't let it sneak up on because you ve never seen it. I saw my dad do all the said: come on windows or kicked out cars wrecked, but they don't see that so it can sneak up on him, so I've had to remind them as don't drink as cuz. I saw what it did. I didn't want it to argue the close family member yesterday, because in old friend I did they are cocaine and unlike
a man named mad dislike death when I'm used to you're gonna say used to that in my family, I'm used to a cousin being Crack this would be in our coal would unladen. We did nothing for us to discuss like you're, going to rehab immediately You know one day hit me with the same thing that real family member in my life is ever hit me with. I'm fine trust me. I know problem and, unlike I know, dial from their dad tears you up more than anything is this? Is it you are right, told me if they ever, you are rewrite. Hedges isn't even knew You know what is going on I've got a lot of work with telling people they deserve it instead and needed there less defensive use that we show. What do you do for fun,
I liked being oh Mamma, whole body, man, I'm a castle, I literally like being at home. I have my house decked out where I have to go any anywhere. I got two purblind back yard. I got me a cave in the basement, Oh, I have a bar full of our God. Had nobody drinks and dislike I really like being a home and I, like I, haven't big dinners denial. I haven't big dinners. Will my friends my family? Could we all get to sit around in laughing and talking put the on the way I like going on big family affair. Vacations, you know mean like two so like exotic islands and like you, I come from the countryside, is like my mom just got a passport last year, and I ve been able to take more mamma. The country a couple times innocent do we would Grenada for the new year in a mood Angola over the summer. What I really look forward to you not like I like them, my niece in my oh dear daughter, Boogie. You know what I'm talking about
we are turning their nose down at I'll turn in the nose up it. Islands like us here again, you know, look like I like that. I, like the day they did big stamps on it passport, you noticed how did I didn't get when our dairy- oh hell, no number but didn't at great gloved, introduced, to them. I love you watch their faces when they see their love. It's great last question: if you're talking to a group of african american men right now about mental health, about therapy about not dealing with this silently and suffering through it, what do you say to him. I would tell him that mental health is wealth and I will tell him that the same way in all societies as to take here bodies we had to get to take care of our brains
way. I would let them know that a lot of things that we normal lives in the home grown up, we're not normal. The violence is not normal. You know- and I, like you, nuts portuguese guns put on you- is not supposed to be so easy for you to pull a gun or somebody else like you know you know did did did did did did pay now we cause other people in the hood pain. I we receive- and I heard that a normal and they did a lot of was damaged in traumatized because of it, and I would tell him that there be is a resource that helped him organise all bullshit that day in their brain, any anywhere else do not on learn allotted bs there we learned growin up, because I too think that the whole definition of masculinity is flawed. He knows no definition of what is real, is flawed. Like growin up for me, being real was actually being criminal. He comes. You had to be doing something criminal. In order to look
you're, real. As one reason when I go home, I don't kick, you my own always goods in order for me to still look like I'm and I have been changed, I gotta be in criminals dove would do that ruined my life in risk in her life. You know to prove something your sword. A man if you really want a like, be real virologists emitting net were damaged and you know is ways to fix their damage and is perfectly ok, don't take better care, you cod and you do your brain and well said really Wilson and our people, and no there are these hotlines that are out. There were even call and talk to people when you're in crisis, the community mental health centres. For sometimes, if people think well, I don't have the ability to pay poor people think I want anonymity. Today, therapy is available online. I mean face to face.
People online where you don't have to leave your home. Even there are so many options out there, the stress hotlines and they don't press you to give your name so money's, not an excuse. Embarrassments, not an excuse. Time is not an excuse. It means the twenty four hour a day availability. So you know you're setting a great example, and I know you don't like coffee. Good I'm day. I am proud that you wrote his book. Thank you. I've been talking the Charlemagne, the God and the book is shook one anxiety playing tricks. On me and listen, I am a professional do her morning. He's a thermometer and I learned hell of a lot from this book? I did you can, and so I'm tellin you read this book. These too humble to dump his chest about it, but let me up his chest, for this is a damn good read its Well writ
Well then, there insight in here you find yourself in this both in, if you doubt, you're, not the real social one, they play tricks on. We celebrated the glad you did that ethics find filling the boy. Did you podcast refrain.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-03.