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How To Create A Better Life: Living By Design Part Five


Do you have everything you want in life? If you don’t, then you have to identify which area of your life is missing something you need and ought to have. On this week’s episode of the Phil in the Blanks podcast, Dr. Phil walks you through steps to have a better life, shares strategies to take you to the next level, and discusses his “Playbook for Life.”

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I want to take a pause here to give you a quick preview of what airing today on doktor phil ticklish the twenty five year old officer. Gibson was gunning down a federal jury. They are both parents Richardson and for ron claiborne not guilty of Alan gibson's murder. Yet they're spending life in prison, Allen's daughter, believes the right. Two men are behind bars the thought of each parent's insurance family for the first time. These people lie to you had nothing to do with the death. Defying doctor Phil check your local listings and for more on today's tv episode log on to dr phil dot com now back to the fill in the blanks? I'm warning you to be streets more, I'm warning! You say you know what I want to go back and do it. it on my wife, if I got bakers in my life. If I've got people that practice the evil eight they need,
do it somewhere else. You help the people in your life and the people in your life oughta be helping you if you can't say that about the people in your life, give em they're walk in papers. I promise you they will not be missed. Not the critical counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done. Better read it belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by destined, sweat and blood who strive was valiantly who airs and comes, short again and again, because there is no effort without error were shortcuts,
but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause, who the best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who, at the worse, if he fails at least he fails while daring rightly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat? That's a quote you may have heard before from Theodore rose built- and I wanted to have a new meaning for you, because today we're gonna, be talking about a play book for success in your life. I'm not a real philosophical kind of guy. I'm an action oriented, colonel guy and I'm gonna be tough
Can you you about how to get the most success? You can pass, simply get from wherever you're starting in your life, any of you? Listen if you pay attention. I promise you tat day, we'll be life changing. I was reading to you from the lower roosevelt and the centre. That gets of that was. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by in Sweden, blood who strives valiantly now those are the say it doesn't belong to the critic. Anybody can sit in the cheap seats entail you're inventory criticise you, and I promised there are people in your life that may be at your mother in law may be at your dad. Maybe it's your sister, your wife, your husband is probably somebody in your life, whose really happy to sit back and take your inventory and tell you
You how you do things wrong in your life. Those are the people that you need to put on the outbound train to somewhere way away from where you are cause they downhill. When I wanna talk to you about today, is what you can do to maximize your position in life, and I don't care whether you're eighteen, twenty forty eight fifty seventy. It makes no difference to me If you're in the game, you want to do as well as you can do, and here's I want you to know right now. You have a playbook, everybody has a playbook. failed everybody's walkin around learning their playbook for the season they volga plays. The office has placed the defence has placed the gutter. Book there told a hold on that playbook and if they lose that playbook, it's there ass believe. You me play books are important and yield
one where the you realize it or not. You have a play book. You have a way of being in this world. You have an attitude of approach, you huh, standards, what you're willing to accept from yourself what you're not willing to accept from yourself, but you have a but can you run it every day you get and you run your place, you ve got certain buys you run. It might be how you approach your job, It might be how you approach your relationships. It might be how you approach you're feelings about yourself. It might be You approach you girls, but you have a play book but I'll bet. If I said. Ok get out of here, get out a pad his paws on this podcast and start writing down your plays a bet, it be long before you hit play again, because we don't ever think about that. And I want to tell you why there is a real hoe in our system. Go to school and they
Each is how to read and write an ad in subtract. They teach us about g. Ology and biology. They teach us all kind. instead of subject matters, but they don't teach us how to live. They don't teach you how to deal with stress. They don't teach how to deal with depression. If it comes, they don't teach you how to handle it. When you lose a loved one, somebody you care about dies, they dont teach you how to negotiate. They dont teach you how to interview. They dont teach you how to get what you want. I went to public schools all the way through, but they never taught me about goal setting. They never not me any of that, so then we go out their world maybe we learned how to do algebra geometry, but nobody told us how to manage our lives. They didn't teach us any of those things. That's why I think there is a big
Void and that's why living by design number five is so critical and if you have listened to the first four, I suggest you do you don't need a necessarily list in turn before you listen to never five, but this one is designed to give you a playbook You say where women, you just told me I had to play but yeah I did, but you don't know what it is, and I want you to help playbook that you learn and at you familiar with their. What, if by us, having these conversations. You can some strategies you can learn, some behaviors. You can learn some steps that substantially change your life. What, if, by listening to these conversations that we're having here, you can pick up one or two who sayings every time you listen to this, that choice,
change the way you interact with the world and it impacts. your station. In life, I you to have more money caused you to have more happiness. It causes you to have more peace. It causes You have a closer walk with god. It causes you too have whatever it is that you vote, you in this life Would not want their for god's sakes, it's free, I'm sitting here telling you You can have a better life. How ever you define better life, if you will just be who you are and reach for what you want and do it on purpose? What if there are things that you can learn that change the outcome of your life now think about it. The rest of this year's gonna go by weather,
you're, doing something about improving your life or whether you're not September's slide by october's, goes like by you gotta begin. halloween candy, then it's gotta be thanksgiving. There's going be time for christmas. then you're gonna be sitting there. Making these idiotic new year's resolutions, like we do every year that times gonna go by the you're, doing something about your life or whether you're, not I'm just saying: let's do something about it. Don't let this year try! by, like all the rest of them, let use these months so you gain momentum, knowledge knowhow, so when make new year's resolutions this january, their real. I did you know that stretch is a big thing right now, with stretch places. Opening up across the country stretching is helping people with chronic issues, they never thought would go away. Inventor Dan
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p h I'll one zero, that's built in per ten percent off when you stated that you always get the whole home. The whole story, the whole einstein and the whole nap room only hold education homes, always all yours book on the verbal app Here is the first thing I want you to know. I wrote a book back, a nineteen. Ninety eight I've talked about this in one of the living by designs before, but I wrote a book that had the tin loss of life, life phone number one was you Yesterday you don't one of the earlier chapters. I talked about how I came about that life. You listen to that. If you want to but think about what it is said, you either get it or you don't you either get it or you don't show you should be. Ask yourself what it let's see it. You want me to get the it's different for everybody. We'll talk about as we go along.
but list is the use of generic it right now, don't you know people letter just out to lunch? me whatever it is you're doing they just don't get it Maybe going on a retreat at your job and there's one person? This just always cut it out of sync. They did don't get it whatever it you dumb, maybe it's team building or something they just don't get it maybe you're gonna have people over for dinner and there's one guy. That's dis. tired of standing over by him say he just doesn't get it. He just doesn't get that this is just a time to socialize. Maybe, get somebody there from work, and they just won't talk about work all the time they dont get it wait a minute. This is not work time or you, ve got people that are
at work and all they want to do is talk about the weekend or football. They don't get that no. This is work time. There are people that just don't get it and it doesn't have to do with intelligence it has to do with tuning in reading the room, reading your life figuring, what's going on with you and what you want looking around and asking yourself, is there everybody in my life passing me by did I think I was going to be way further along at, point in my life, then I am if the answer to that is yes, what is it I'm not getting. What I'm kidding myself about here before us
started doing doktor fill and I'm not talking about myself in a third person. I'm talking about doktor phil is a entity on television. Doktor feel is a platform where we deliver common sense, useful information of people's homes everyday for free. Before I did that I had a trial science firm. and we lived in trial. Your lawyers will get a case and they may spend five years getting ready and iraq. trial. It settles if a lawyer takes a big case. The verdict- five or ten times in their entire career? That's a lot because bouquet, just don't come along that, often in those Go all the way to verdict are probably one in ten. They all settle or thrown out on motions in some way the ones that action-
they make it all. The way to verdict are pretty rare, but that's all we did. We did those it made it all the way to verde when we trained witnesses to tell the truth, the fact of Lee and we prepared all the documents in the graphics and we chose the jury. We worked out trials strategy. We did everything and we had an extremely high rate of success. We had a very high rate of predicting the outcome, much higher than a right of success, but we could predict the outcome with extremely high six but we also had a real high rate of winning our cases and I'll. Tell you why we out prepared the other side, wisdom prepared. We are necessarily a better while yours, we didn't essentially have better facts. We did miss airily, have better clients, we did necessarily have better computers. We did an assembly have prettier, graphics or better witnesses. We just out prepare
the other side. We knew their case better than they knew it and we Try these things time and time again and we would put on their case. I would take our best lawyer, and have him or her to the other side's case against the rest of our team and we found things where it got to the time. If we got to trial, it was anti climactic, because they didn't put on near a good show was we did they and put our nearest traffic cases we put on it. We could defeat our version of their case, defeating their version of their case was a walk in the park, We were afraid to look at the bad facts. We,
did not live in denial and we are prepared the other side. We had every fact every graphic every contingency dealt with and that took it The time took a lot of money took a lot of effort, but we are prepared. other side, because I did wanna be among those who didn't get it not. I want you to be among those who don't get it, which means you you ve got out, prepare the rest of the world. If you want to be the best at what you do, if you want to be the most successful at what you do, you just have to out prepare the other side. You have two out hustle, the other people. You have to our work, the other people you have to help prepare the their people and if you're not willing to do that, then you need quit. Listen this rotten and turn on some music put your car on crews ends Why dont know because winners do things loser, Don't want to do and if you
would be a winner. You're gonna have to do some things that you might not have been willing to do. Before, and it's not all about money. It's whatever you decide, success is gonna, be so the quest It is. Do you have everything in your life? If you want an, if you don't, then you have to decide what area of your life there's something missing, do you want more money and when I say What I'm get re to say. I can already ro in your eyes, india, that's easy for you to say, because you have it the most the money is the cheapest commodity. I have so you say: oh yeah yeah easy to use. I guess you have a lot of money well now. it's not because I have a lot of money. It said I can replace money. I can't replace my health, I can't replace my relationship with my two boys. I can't
place my relationship with my wife. I can't replace those things so they're not cheap commodities. If I run out of money, I've learned ass my life. I can make more money. This, why say is the cheapest commodity. I have, because is the one thing I can replace if I get sick, I can't necessarily reply. My health, but if I run out of money I can do is go get another job. I know work harder. I can live cheaper. I can replace that. So if this war money. You want ok, this decide here. What's the realistic next level, the number one? fear that people have in life is rejection. You might say I was gonna finish set since with failure the same thing. If you fail Then the world has rejected what you have to offer right. Let's say you are but a business. You a bicycle shop and nobody buys your bicycles. Nobody bring Bicycles, you to get repaired. What, then you been rejected? They dont
what you have to offer. If I do a television show and nobody watches, then they have rejected me. There's said: ok but you have to say I don't want to listen. You want to watch you. U bald, headed some bitch out, ok, you have to say I don't care than they rejected me and I fail there's a lot different words you can put in place, but what people have told me biggest fear they have is that they get out of their comfort zone, which is where you are now, even though it may feel uncomfortable. And you reach for the next level. Maybe the next social wrong where you are in with it but people you wish you were anywhere or maybe it's the next promotion. Where are you a better job, worried, swore money or a nicer, hauser nicer, car or may, you wanna be closer to your higher being that I call god and you just never make the connection is so you reach for something and you dont get it. That's what people tell me as their biggest
is that they had met. They want more than they have, and then they dont get it. They say that sir, biggest fear. You know what their second biggest fear is that they get it because then they have to keep it They get to a higher level now to go further, but that's tough. If you want to do well, you got to take some risk so I am asking you do Have everything you want any of you doubt. Then you need to make a list mean, actually write it down in dollars per on your computer. You need to write it on a piece of paper and you need to carry it in your purse or your wallet or bill folder, whatever you call what you carry stuff in, so you can fer to it on a regular basis, it can be your norstar, your compass. What is you want more of that. You don't have, because I'm going to talk to you about the play book, forgetting it before. You can get
yet. You need to know what it is. What you want more of what you want different. Let's talk about the play book for success and we'll talk about the first. In it. I said you together, you don't that's just kind of an overarching backdrop to everything, I'm going to tell you. You need a in and d, you're gonna be some one that is situation really aware. You pay attention, you read The room you see how people react to you all the things that have to do with reading how things are going. That's just your backdrop. Here's the first This is number one right this one down you must have a defined image and never ever break character.
Let me say that again, you must have a defined image and never ever bright character. and what do I mean by breaking character? Let's say you have a defined image in your defined image is that you are a serious player. Or somebody that can be counted on your reliable. You are that go to person and you want people to take you serious respect your intellect respect your work ethic, whatever. If that's who you are, that's the image you wanna project, then you cannot go
home on saturday and get falling down stumbling drunk and go on facebook and do a bunch of stupid videos that make you look like a jackass and then go back to work monday and expect your buddy to take you serious in your image. You do not break character. Now this character can have a broad range to the character that doesn't mean you're in work mode. All the time this character has a social channel. This character has a romantic channeled. His character has a career and work channel. This character has a spiritual channel. This character has a lot of different lanes, a lot of different categories, but they have to be consistent. You can't be a serious brain surgeon
a falling down drunken clown at the same time, its decision congruity. So you have to decide what is the image that I want to project and this is not a phoney image. I'm not saying role play for your amy, to work? It has to be authentic. You just have to decide what it is and then you have to commit to it and on it you can't be middle ground, half way, one way and halfway another. You cannot ride to horses with one ass, you go decide who you are and you go with that that's the horse. You're gonna ride all the way the finish line. Therefore there a very serious decision. When you decide what is the image I'm gonna project the world. What is it? I'm gonna put out there that I want people to respond to because
Oh you engage the world. What kind of image you project to the world, believe strongly in the principle of reciprocity. We get back from the universe. What we put out to the universe, living usa insurance to help you say, take advantage of discounts when he's having a home and your ride discover how we're helping member sates, usa, age, I can't sleep, bundle restrictions apply. If we are negative, we are pessimistic. You we're just debbie downward I downer whatever we're just always look for the worst and believed theirs lake under every rock and nothing is we're gonna work, then that's what you're going You're back from the universe is mere you like give it done rain your walk either
bob along in her every wherever he goes as where you go, then that's what you do. We get back from the universe, they just say: yeah yeah, he she they they'll deal whatever. We give him in the matter, so Well. What about Babo there? Nobody here and there were about in their whatever their good with whatever well we're gonna have to that people salaries around here water, bob and carried away. That ogier they will wagging noisily whatever. There have been a day in my life, he buys ever said, oh about feel a base it on his good water. Yearningly talk to him. Not one day in my life is anybody rational ever said that they also well. We bear your talk to observe what he thinks he's he's very likely. Gonna have an opinion about this one way or the other danish new I have strong beliefs, one of the things that have been consistent with my image.
I hate people that find what's wrong with the situation and don't keep dig into come up. an alternative that correct anybody can criticise, anybody can say no. When I was a court room sciences? We had very few rules that everybody followed in who deal with clients in whatever was we'd. Never say no, no was not in our vocabulary. If you were a client courtroom sizes, you never heard the word, no come out of our lips, now you might ask something we couldn't do, but you, didn't hear us. I know what you heard was. Let me tell you what we can do that, where we do and what they wanted, no way, we might have been impossible to do, but that's not what we said. Our philosophy was Do we really do these four hundred charts on boards in the next hour? Of course, not you idiot, but that's not what we said. We didn't say no, we said. Let me tell you what we can do.
You can use ten of those before the end of trial. Today will have them stand on and ten on, stand by and work on the others overnight, Mitya. What we can do people want to hear what you can do, and one of my philosophies was tell him what you can do not which cannot do so. He got it aside what you're images and the image has to be asked that it now this covers a lot of things. It covers you, physical presentation. It covers your verbal presentation. It covers your value system It covers your philosophy of interacting with the world body shaman, you here you're out of shape. Really out of shape. You close, don't look good on whether
like it or whether you don't people will look at you and say that person doesn't take care of themselves their dishevelled, and that will be something that makes the hill you climb steeper. If you use poor grammar. It is a badge of ignorance that you say will outlook. We can all go to college grammer was in the fifth grade and if you use bad grammar, then go to the library and check out a grammar book, it's a fifth grade. Burke, if you say, oh, I seen him come in, we was gonna. Let me tell you that is a badge of ignorance. It shows
early on who you are at any level of interaction, whether its social or professional or whatever. So you have to do an inventory and say what are things I can change. How's, your hygiene, if you smell like a goat, that's bad! Okay! If you dont brush your teeth couple times a day, if you don't shower every day, if you dont worry clean clothes every day, if you dont, groom yourself. Well, then you're putting out an image that says I don't really care about myself, so you have to make the decision to do the best you can with what you have. I have. I read an article one time that said: seventy eight percent of men would rather amputate a body part than be bald. Well, yea cut Nathan offer me I'm ball. Look I work with what I got. I made it a trademark
There are very many people out here in hollywood. Look like me, so I made it a trademark. Young, recognisable everybody looks like Johnny depp, nobody looks like doktor phil, so at least I'm distinctive, so I'm saying choose an image and the imf. It needs to be authentic too, who you are? I don't be pseudo intellectual? Don't try to use words that you are comfortable with. Don't try to be somebody you're not that never ever works. It has to be authentic to who you are, but it needs to be best version of you that you can be, and why
shhh you decide who that is what that is in every category. Then you need to be the best version of that. You can possibly be an don't break character ever dont, be the problem solver. The person that is to go to resource at work and then go out, get fallen down drunk with you, co workers, after work, you break in character and they will lose respect for you. You cannot define yourself one way and then do a hundred and eighty degrees swing and expect to be successful in love, business society, or anywhere else, it just doesn't work that way I don't know where you are in your life right now, but if it's not working for you,
I have always said if you're in a whole stop digging. If you worked yourself into a whole with what you ve been doing, you Improve your situation: if you do stop dig him, I mean maybe a rude, maybe you're a jerk- maybe just something about you- that just great song, People you just get in a hole with people start dig a hole. If you ve got a hole in a boat, you don't drain the water out of the boat. by putting more holes in the boat, drawing the water, it doesn't work that way. Something in your life is not working. You ve got to change it. I always said character is easier. Kept then regained. If you do things that compromise your character, you lie you cheat,
steal you take credit for things. You don't really deserve it's at the cost of your character, it's so much easier to keep your character than to get it back. Once you look is it so you this guy, decide in a word integrity means doing the right thing when nobody's watchin in nobody's listening, except for you and then you don't ever have to worry or wonder whether something's gonna blow back on your knees. So the number one thing in your playbook is you ve got to find out what this image is, that you're gonna projected into this world. It has to be authentic too, who you are and in order to do it and do it? Well, you have to identify your strengths. Your people always talk about overcoming weaknesses. Yeah decided we get. Some is not working and quit new and quit last. It lassie could figure that
but let's talk about your strengths, I play tennis every day and I've got a pretty good backhand. I spend time every day every week working on my backhand is probably my best shot, but I spend time working on it. I practice my strengths. If you have something you're good at make it better make it a weapon, make it something that you can really rely on. So maybe you're good with people, maybe you're good at problem. Recognition may be a good problem solving, maybe you're good at motivating people. Maybe you are good at solving things calming people down maybe have I rate customers that come in to work or whatever, and you can step up and calm the situation down the You need to really home identify.
your strengths and no what they are, so you can play to them, and this leads to number, two in your playbook, You must create a perception of uniqueness. You must create a perception of uniqueness now. What do I mean by that? I mean you: do not want to be a face in the crowd. You don't wanna, be a robot. You don't want to be an interchangeable person. in a relationship at your job anywhere if you're, just a random person that Is this person this person be here, get another person to be here. I didn't make much difference. There are a lot of jobs like that. You know jobs that, like anybody, can do that matter
and these are the wrong with that? But that's not for you. If you improve your life. You have to create a perception of uniqueness and I'm saying perception of uniqueness because it does do any good, it'd be unique. If people don't perceive that you're unique, you've gotta make sure they recognize your uniqueness. You may have some unique skill, but if nobody knows it, but you what good is it so you have to decide I'd unique. What is it about you? You don't want to just be in the middle of the her. You don't want a bland into the background, If you want to be a winner, you need find embrace and project those things it set. You, apart from the herd set you, apart from everybody else, uniqueness
is valuable in so many different respects, and I am one of those people that believes in defined product a defined product. You cannot be all things to all people. I think you have to be a defined product. People need to know what they get when they get you. I have subscribed to this philosophy, my entire life, including right now when people say doctor fit when I say to you right now, DR phil does think about what that calls to mind now in that you're. Listening to this, I hope it's something positive or maybe you tune in because you love to hate me. That's because I don't have a need to be loved by strangers, but when you think of doktor phil I'll bet, you don't confused me with any.
Body else now there are other psychologists out there, the other shrinks out there, the other middle health professionals out there but I'll bet you dont confused me with any of our guarantee you. There are psychologist in america that have forgotten more psychology than I'll ever know, but they forgot about learning how to indicated. I've got some of my advisory board because I'll call him up you'll be something really complex or whatever another. Okay. I want to make sure I've got this right. I will make sure got a cutting edge information. These men and women are the editors for the peer review journals. So I know they ve got access to research that, while we published for another eighteen months, so I don't give cutting edge information. I give ahead of cutting edge information. What research has shown that
you can get from. Doktor feel that you won't see the journals for another year, half full, I'm talking about us, Do you believe me? I've got up to the minute information, because I talk to people that no more about it than I do. There are some people that spend their entire career on that one disorder. I don't, but I know who does- and so I bring those sport. In now, what I say: you're, not gonna, confused me with anybody else. There are people out there like John grey John gray wrote. Men are from mars and women are from venus or whatever the title of it was. I know John, very nice guy lot of wisdom, but you are going to confuse the two of us cause he's going to pat your hand and tell you is going to be okay and why and he's very effective at what he does
we're very different we're very different you're not going to confuse me with him. You are going to confuse him with me. I believe in a defined product. Look you may think my defined product is, I'm a barbarian. You may think I'm the second coming of common sense and you're, probably both a little bit right, but you don't confused me and that's what I want you to decide. What is it about you that unique? What is about you that such you, apart from the rest of the herd, Here's the thing think about your life is a movie not as snapshot is a snapshot can be any day anymore. Any time agreed Snapshot of you when you ve got the flu and thing man. This always looked pretty rough, though girl seemed better days because we catch you had your worst time, you dethrone your guts up. You feel like hell,
it gives snapshot of urine could way underestimated together you it is a movie not is still frame and movies have scripts. They have beginnings, they have middles, they have ends in your life, is at what your life is. A process has getting a middle in it. So, let's talk about the script, your life Where are you in it right now, listening to this is not new, beginning senor not on the way to seventh grade unless your mobs drive in you're? Having haven't listen to this on the way, and for that I apologize so you're, probably at least in your twenties, maybe authorities, thirties or forties you're into the movie thought about the script from here forward? Here's. The main thing I want to ask you are: starring in your own life. Are you star in your life, because if you don't star,
in her own life. Who is if your thoughts, darling in your own life, forgotten who is now? I don't care if europe a murderer, butcher, baker, candlestick maker or a janitor or of car mechanic, or an account schoolteacher. It doesn't matter what you do, that's not who you are and what you do you have to star in your own. Why and in every booby there's somebody in the lead right. There's somebody in lead they run. The promos there's somebody in those problems and then there's a supporting guest. and you have to start your own wife, so act like it by embracing you're, often itself treat yourself like a star deal with yourself like you're, a unique individual, because I promise you when I meet people
I think one thing they know themselves better than I do. How do they feel about themselves there? I fear, I might know them a little bit. or maybe a lot, but I don't know them as well as I know themselves and if they treat them selves, like crap, I figure well no said the I out they it's not be worthy of being treated better because they, no themselves better. I do so. I have to defer the the low self image poor self esteem, I figure who better than I to know what they deserve. Why would I questionnaire so? Where are you in the movie of your life? Are you the star in our embracing that image that often itself how you knew car you they'll. Let me say this: if you don't feel unique, maybe it's time to reinvent yourself, and you could do that without
banning who you are because we I'll, have a range of trade skills, abilities and the capability to move within that range. Reinvention may mean change Everything from your look to watch you do where you do it or the way you engage people it man mean changing your focus of the girls you seek to attain, it may mean taking those strengths. I was talking about. And really building on those in one of the earlier living by designs. I talked about putting things on projects status, not just here. an awareness, but putting things on project status is like. You can be aware that the garage needs painting but eating or get painted until you put it on projects status until you say this week in were painted a damn garage, their means.
no way or than thursday we're going by home depot or walmart and we're gonna get hammer much pain. We need we're, gonna get drop clause and brushes and rowers and whatever all we need we're going to have it there, because we get home friday. We're gonna paint the damn garage, it's going to take a couple of days to go it dry and put on coats or whatever, but we're gonna paint it that's our project this week, yeah. So no we're not going to go plate in his no we're not going to the movies, no we're not going to the zoo. We are painting the garage, that's our project for this weekend. That's when the garage will get painted not before that's when you will become unique and not before when you put it on project status, that's when you will become unique. That's when you will star in your own life.
before they? Like I say, maybe that involves reinventing yourself every season when we wrap production of DR phil, everybody takes two or three weeks and they kind of decompress and. Go do other things, but then we start meeting not intensively at first but we start meeting with the sole purpose. of reinventing ourselves for the next year. What can we do to tell our stories better? What can we do to get our message across better? What do we need to attack that we have an attacked forlorn before this summer, for example, we cannot avoid the fact
That the opioid crisis has reached epidemic proportions and we are the sole platform that devotes all Sixty minutes of the hour to mental health. We absolutely delvin, that. How do we do that effectively? How do we get people's attention? How do we educate without seeming pedantic about it? How do we deal with this in ways that weaken motivate people for prevention and intervention? There was one of the things that we talked about: we're reinventing. How were approaching those stories, how we're dealing with this epidemic and it involves taking it beyond our platform. Robin and I test
defied before by partisan committee on capital he'll about this last year, we're to do some more of that this year they have invited us back to talk about enabling some legislation for this. So we're reinventing ourselves to be relevant to what's going on how about you? What can you take on? What do you need to do that differ,
if you do the same thing over and over and over, then you get comfortable with it. It may be producing some results for you, but is it producing all the results? You weren't a thought about number three. You must play a big not just long now. This is a big one. Some people, whether its at work, making a presentation aghast on television a date with somebody they want to form a relationship with they confuse quantity with quality, shallow, brooks or noisy still, water runs deep. I've had so many experts on doktor fill, and I can tell you I've never heard anybody the day after one of them was on say wow. That expert on doktor feel yesterday,
did you hear how long she talked never heard anybody say that, but I have you're heard people say that expert on doktor feel yesterday. Did you hear what she said you gotta play big, not long, you don't want anything. You say together lost at sea a minutiae. Let everybody else fight for floor time letter.
everybody else fight for the microphone in the meeting. Let everybody else stick their hand up ten different times when you speak, have something to say, speak with gravity. Make a pronouncement play big play. Dramatic, take a position, it's just not enough to keep your head down work hard, put in your time and expect to reward at the end, because that in may never come it used to be different, but We are a highly transient society now and if you want to get ahead in this world, if you want to be noticed by somebody, you want a relationship with. If you want to get a promotion at work, if you want to get a sale if you're in sales you to rise above the noise, what if
said already, we said number one you ve got to find your image. We said number two. You have to be perceived as unique and number three you gotta play big. You gotta do something that pops that pops you from the rest of the crowd you dont, want to be part of a wall paper. You want to be part of the figure that pops out of the background. Your current events have shown us that long term employees are the first to go. When there's a downturn though you'd think it'd be other way around right, because they've been loyal, they've been there, but you know what they're the highest paid. So if you're going to cut fifty employees, are you going to cut the fifty? after absorbing most of the payroll, are you gonna cut the fifty that are the cheapest? Well there
going to lose a lot of wisdom when they cut those that had been there long time but they're just trying to make their number so they're going to come in and cut those high priced employees and replace them with new blood. So if you just keep your head down tail up working hard, you just rank and file. You gonna file right out the door, you gotta be unique and you gotta play big. So when they start thinning the herd, they go wait a minute, not her, not him. He tackles at a forty four over there, but you better cut this one out of the herd, because this one is unique. This one has really distinguished themselves and you do that by playing big, you do that
by taking positions. You do that by coming up with solutions you do that by creating memorable moments I would a whole lot. Rather, create a memorable minute and eighteen seconds then bore an audience for twenty minutes. When it's your turn, to be in the spotlight, whether its home withers at work with asean, social setting. You want to establish yourself strong, where you want to play it big. You need to be the one who makes and impressed and when they leave go home, go lunch. You want them buzzing about what you said about what you did about, how you looked you want to make an impression. You have to stand out positive, constructive way and decide how you're gonna do that before you get there. This means taking the initiative.
I saw situation not too long ago right on the paramount lot where two people came in that were being added to a production staff, and there were two desk that we're gonna be occupied by these two production staff. One of them face the door of the executive producer, the other. When faced a wall and the eight hour person was there- and I just happened to be there- get raided, do somethin else. An eight hour person said he I can pick a das is either one of you have a preference and one of upstairs up and said here I'll take this one, you know which one she took. She took the one that faced the executive producers door because every day that executive producer walks out the door, you know who they're going to look at they're gonna, look at her and if she smart aware something read somewhere on her work.
rob every day she a pop and shield I have a big smile and she'll have something that makes her play big and when that executive producer comes out frenzied frayed looking for something, and particularly if it's not her job she'll say you know what that's not my job, but if you'll give me sixty seconds off find it for you. She will make herself indispensable that other woman she can be over there counting mortar joints staring at a wall, because this person had a philosophy assert myself. When I get an opportunity to take the initiative, I'm going to take it, I'm going to play beg him on a position myself in a way that works. So one was prepared. The other one wasn't that one is starring.
Her own life, sometimes it can be just that simple? Ok, I see by the clock on the wall that I need to stop I don't want to play long. I want to play big I've. Given you three things for your playbook, I have a total of sixteen. I want you to think about these three. Let me give you a little preview of what we're going to talk about we're, gonna talk about learning, to claim and accept praise we're going to about learning to become essential. We're gonna talk about knowing what you're real currency is. We're gonna talk about something called goals: acquisition, training, g, a tea, had a sad ago and achieve it realistically.
build a timeline in an action plan. We're gonna work on this play book and you are going to become a equipped to get what you go after an once. You get your mind around this once you get your hands around. This think what an edge you have over the people said next to you around you that haven't been On this conversation they come to work. like? They have every day for the last five or ten years they walk down the mall dislike they have before. I want you to have an edge
I want you to live on purpose, so we ve covered three. There are sixteen, and some of those have some parts now what I would like for you to do between now and when we talk next, is really work on this image. Who do you want to project to be? What are you it's drinks. How can you be unique? How can you star in your own life, ask people hey? What do you think my biggest strength is: ask ten people? What do you think I'm best at? What do you think the biggest strength is that they go. What are you pulling for complements as a matter of fact? Yes, I am. I want to know what you think my strengths are. Why are you asking it? Does it matter? What do you think are my strengths, I'm making a list and checking it twice, write your own thanks and look back see. What's where
for you across time really build out your list of strength, bailed out your image, because I want you to change enough that people are going to notice, there's something different about him or something different about her they're carrying themselves different. I don't know they just seem more together, so I want you to really pay attention to that work on this image. Work on your strengths, work on how to define your uniqueness, because that's going to be the core of where we go. I want to make this work to the point that you are going to be so glad you listen that you're going to tell everybody you care about. I'm DR phil we'll talk again.
Transcript generated on 2023-05-25.