« Phil in the Blanks

Project Status: Living By Design Part Two

2023-04-04 | 🔗

It's time to put your life on Project Status! Put yourself first and start accomplishing your goals to get to where you want to be in life. Dr. Phil says it’s never too late to get started and recognize what's important to you.

In this episode, Dr. Phil leads you to a stronger and more passionate self-journey. Live your life as if everything matters and you'll become everything you're meant to be--a true champion.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I want to take a pause here to give you a quick preview of what's airing today on doctor phil, take a listen twenty five year old officer gifts and what a federal jury found, both Terrence, richardson and ron claiborne not guilty of Alan gibson's murder. Yet they're spending life in prison, Allen's daughter, believes the right. Two men are behind bars the thought of each parent's insurance family for the first time. These people lie to you had nothing to do with the death. Defying doctor Phil check your local listings and for more on today's tv episode log on to dr phil dot com. Now, back to fill in the blanks you to get out of this fill in the blank series an end, I want you to be able to figure out who you are and how you got to be, who you are where you are asked you to move your position from being right the being happy, and you know what that might just
there's a common theme to what I've been saying that is being selfish on your behalf, and you may boy about. Do everything has been talking about, I'm gonna feel selfish. Well, don't don't selfish when you're putting yourself first Ok, you just heard a recap of living by design part one so stands to reason. This is part two Obviously I'm talking to you about you and we are going to talk about some really fun things today. that are going to change your life. That's my girl! put your goal as well remember, as we were finishing last time. I was talking about the fact that I wanted you to. who you were and how you got to be there now take that one step further, because once you're there and
you are, who you are? Let me be real, clear Everybody has a way of being in this world. You do I do the guy. Next to you, does a woman at the store? Does the woman you work with? Does everybody has a way of being in this world everybody's older for its true. We are like snowflakes everybody's different. everybody makes a statement I do a lot of speeches around the country allowed alive presentations in it's the same thing. What I'm doing to fill I always like to look at the audience and kind see who I'm talking to You know it's really interesting because peace well really differently, even might be a week in spain. Your seminar I'm doing at a resort here: ok, this guy he's all buttoned peace got on sport coat and a tie, and
he's got a nice hair cut, I mean he's coming in. got all this on saying: hey, I'm credible, look at the way I'm dressed the dollar there were two the right there's a guy over there. That looks He woke up five minutes before he got there delving laundry basket jumped out. Thing is wrinkle, barely dressed and says: hey here I am, I'm laid back. Let's go see the bald guy mike completely different statements. How bout you What is the statement you make. Look in the mirror and ask yourself: what do you communicate just by the way you presented people come in a room like a house of fire they both the double doors, knock em back into the wall they come in and make a noise like a whirling dervish did the centre of attention that is right in the middle of everything people. That is,
Fifty and like a cool breeze in there just over by the side, stand against the wall taken everything in is one way right and the other way wrong. No. neither way right or wrong! everybody has their own way of being in the world main thing is that you know what your projecting watch image. What are you putting out, and is it what you want to put out come up people watcher. You probably guess that by what I do, but I'm a people watch her ever forget one time J was with me. We were travelling in new york and flying out of le Guardia back to dallas, and that at the end of one concourse way at the end of this is back before nine eleven. So anyway, they could get on the concourse down by the gates.
as usual on a friday night, everything is delayed. Its snowing outside this is stacked up and I swear to god. You look on his concourse. It looks like the bar seen in star wars, others all kinds of creatures out there looking around, and so he inherited a standing over to the side and were watching people and we're looking this one guy, say J, a look at this girl here, this guy was grey. He gray hair, he had a gray suit You on a gray shirt had on a great time he had on gray shoes, his and was grey. His briefcase was grey. This guy grey? He looks. dont, not barney. Five from the Andy gryphus show I mean look like you ve thumped him. He would fall down standing there kind of hunched over against the wall. all of a sudden down the concourse here come three guys their marching, goose, stepping down their lockstep
Guys I've got on leather jackets. They ve got everything you can possibly pierce on your body pierced. They got chains going from their nose to their ears. They got, two's everywhere they got mohawks may in their heads or tattooed they're coming Creating hey? We are bad due to their stop and down push people out of the way what happens then. catch? Barney lookin there? here too, though, mister grey looking at him and they turned on him there twice his size They were alone here, but they go over there. And what are you looking at I usually mine, my own business, but. Now wait a minute. What do you know why I said that? That's not true! I don't always my my own business, but I sure didn't this night there over their bullion this guy. What are you looking at? I couldn't help myself, I would over there is it. What do you mean? What's he look at me? Look at algeria freaks. What are you
Where did you get up this morning and put all these change in your nose in your ears because you are to be under the right or are you're kidding me. You do all this, so people will look at you so he's looking at you so tell it walk and jerks. Now about that time I hear on the Erika crowed favoured undergone gorse goad Servadac Jacob lower sit there there paging you again god here come security, but look here's the point you make a statement on it. I don't care of these guys chain coming out of their brain, but if You do on it Have a statement that you may and criticise people for reacting to your statement if you go to work and you are authoritarian and new order, everybody around and you act like your king kong, so everybody treat you like
a cop or everybody treat you like you're the school principle. Then I'll get upset because nobody wants to go, have lunch with you in your statement, and if you don't like your statement, then change your statement, I ask you to think about what you do, but who you are how you got to be there? The time you were born, people have been riding on a slight of who you are the way you were treated as you were a child, what you experiences were in school. Did you succeed or fail academically, athletic least socially? What role you had in your family? Were you the clown? Were you the perfect kid? Were you the black sheep, on whatever people have written on a slight of who you are that have determined who you become
I always say to parents, we're not raising children. we are raising adults and when you were five years old, your parents were raising the adult. You have become today many People say that personalities are formed by the time, your five six seven years old others. search, your say that continues on into your thirties boy Certainly every of your life. Everywhere along the way People are riding on the slate of who you are, and so that's who you are sitting in that chair today a personal truth. You have said machu make I'm just asking you to evaluate this date? When you make asked you Is this the one you want to make and then own it here A good way to give yourself a test.
ask yourself honestly what you think people say about you when you were not around what they say to your face what they say when you're not around. Give yourself a enough credit. to be big enough to think about what people say when you walk away. Do they say that's a really nice person. I really like her. I really like him, or they are insufferable, give yourself enough credit, to consider what kind of statement you're making and remember a lot what you communicate is non verbal. It's been said that seven percent of all communication is very And the rest is nonverbal, true If all your saying is hello. Then the more you talk. The last is nonverbal anymore is verbal. You have to learn. Get your words, do you say,
aggressive, laid or young people space to you by late, their personal space, ask yourself what statement you make an inn. Ask yourself whether or not there What you want to make, but either way you have to own it No mistake kids are pay, attention to the statement that you make we always say, you know, kids, don't listen! These days. Maybe they don't listen, but always watching for when you, your frontline to feel more. Like a welcome that the new cambodia's Two hundred has built a cut like a proud to cut quickly, to turn on a dime to control with effortless precision and its bill to get the job done right, fast, cut, composed of quality, affordable price. The new borders z, two hundred visit, your local cambodia dealer today, computer generated on the web, capone chattanooga, dot com.
They may roll their eyes, they may look away, but make no mistake. Your kids are watching their watching what kind of statement you make and it may not be what you think they're watching. Let me give you an example: the most him Horton role model in a child's life is the same sex parent, a close second is the other sex parent You may think. Ok, then, if I cursing yell, holler and fight, then ok, I mean about roma. No, it's not! just that, This example, let's say you go to work every day, In every day you come home, and your moaning and groaning and say: oh, my god, I'm so tired. I hate that job. What communicating to your kids communicating that what you do in life. Is you grow up and sell out you
up and go do something you do not want to do for someone you do not want to do it. For and sell out your life and weeks turn into months months, turn into years years, turn into a lifetime and teaching them that's what's in their future,. And then you're going to expect them to grow up and be unique individuals that fight for what they believe in. I don't think so. ask yourself. If you're doing what you don't want to do, coming home in complaining about it. Every day is teaching your children to grow up and do what they don't want to do and complain about it every day. So. said. Last time I was gonna talk to you about the cork, characteristics of a champion and I'm gonna do that. But first I want you to do something for me. We want you to agree to
put yourself and your family on but I call project status. Projects status. Now, let me tell you what I mean when I say to put yourself and your family on projects status. Let's say you're sitting around watching tv and you have an awareness, you need to clean out the garage and pain it? Ok, doing anything about it, but you, God unawareness, you need to do it. What are you The chances are of that garage getting painted yeah, not much but let's say your listing your house for sale and they are going to come and take pictures monday morning and it's friday at noon.
now, what are the chances that garage is going to get cleaned out and those walls are going to get painted pretty damn good? You know why cause it becomes a project with a deadline. It becomes project with a deadline and put it on projects status? That means you push everything else out of the way that moves to the top of the priority list, its on profit. ec status and things start to happen, I tell you that to tell you, this is who are fully satisfied with who you are or where you are. If you fully satisfied with your marriage, your family, your career, Here, the amount of money you're, making the amount of money or saving the condition urine how much weight you're carrying gonna help you have it's not gonna change until you put it on projects status. Now they explain something that I think is it really important before we get to the core,
characteristics of a champion and when we get to the core characteristics of a champion. I'm gonna be telling you what I have learned across time and you're going to be hearing some quotes from some real champions. I'm tired, Can Charles barkley Emmett smith, bill, Bela, check, shaquille, o neill and not just athlete. You're gonna be hearing from like wrong. Why or the most successful comedians in a whirl steve harvey one of the most successful television personalities in the world, vince lombardy, one of the great this legacies in the history of football, Michael Jordan, mohammed ali co, Brian derek cheater, Billy, jean king, I'm gonna be giving you some insight from some of the biggest champions in history of our country, but otto I tell you that unless you're willing to put yourself on price extent, status.
because if you are not willing to put yourself on projects status and all you gotta do is just have an awareness, in my breath in your time and I don't want to do either one of those things. So when I put yourself on projects status, I mean you ve. to say. I am going to set some goals I'm going to put them on a timeline I am going to commit to change? Now there are four stages of readiness that I want you to understand. Before we go forward, more stages of readiness stage one Is when you, are going to commit to a change because it has been assigned by authority? Am I talking about here? Let's say you get in trouble, so you the court, may give you court, ordered anger, management,
court ordered rehab for drunk driving. What do you think chances are that somebody's gonna really make a change when they go the therapy, because the court says they have to and no other reason about zero, whatever money they spend on these court, ordered programmes They might as well put him in a paper. Shredder. Take that money. In a paper shredder bag it up and sell it for confetti, at least they would get some money out of it, because it's absolutely worthless those people. are going because they are compelled to go and absolutely no change is gonna. Take place, stages, This number two is where you're making a change because somebody else wants you to, you don't really want to do your. Why, for your husband, you parents, you friends, they Want you to do it, so you do it just please them. You know I disagree.
him off your back. You don't really believe it. You don't really want it, but a year of shots them up fine I'll. Do it and what's a chance of meaningful change, I more than making confetti but not much. Readiness for change stage number three is when you intellectually know that you need to do it, you, don't feel it, but at least in your mind, you know: hey this not smart smoke. It kills you. I know that I need to stop in my mind. I know, and I don't feel it I want to keep smoking. I want to keep drinking. I want to keep doing whatever I'm doing, but at the least in my mind. I know its not smart, really emotionally there, but at least I'm smart enough to know what I'm doing is not right
sometimes intellect will take over and your white knuckle empower yourself through. So there's some chance for change. but real change happens. In stage number four. Stage number four is when mentally and emotionally you are ready for change. Stage four is when you can look yourself in a mere and say I will not take this for myself, another minute of another hour of another day, care how scary it is on the other side, Face that fear, instead of take this from myself for another second, I am sick to death of this I'm going to throw up. If I do this another day, I'm not taking this for myself, I am going to change that you put yourself on projects status. That's when you take what I'm getting ready to tell you that's when you make the most of it. That's when you make a change not before
so you have some work to do if you're going to maximize what I'm getting ready to tell you, I want you to put your self and or your family. What ever your focus is on profit. Ec status, I do not want you sitting on the couch, Having an awareness that you need to change, I don't want to talk to people would have an awareness of the need to change. I want to talk to people that put themselves or their families on projects status now if you want to have a phenomenal family how to create some factors and I'm gonna list those for you on the website number one you gotta have a nurturing and accepting family system care? What kind of legacy you had? I don't care. What gonna family you grew up in you are the adult. Now you get to decide what kind of family system you have and you have to go a family system that nurtures every family member and makes
Every family member feel accepted The number one need and all people is acceptance. The number one fear and all people is rejection, and if you don't feel acceptance in your own family, then, people are riding on the slate of those family members with a real ugly pan when you state though, vacation home, the hosts doesn't stay with you. So When you share and inside joke son, scream or couch, it will only be with people. You want to be there, because without privacy in your vacation home it isn't really a vacation. Is it only whole vacation homes
always private book on the verbal app, you need a family units that nurtures everybody in the family, except everybody in the family. Everybody wants to have a sense of belonging. Everybody wants to feel like if they don't show up somewhere There's somebody in this world that will miss them. There's somebody in this world that will care there, somebody in this world it will be checking to find out. Why they're, not whether supposed to be you want, a family system that nurtures them. Makes them feel good about who they are and accepts them as part of the family, and there is a role for every member of the family factor, Number two is that the family has a rhythm. versus chaos.
and by rhythm I mean there's a pattern to the family. It's predictable. That doesn't mean there's an absence of spontaneity, but there's a rhythm to it. They just know that hey we go to bed at a certain time. We get up at a certain time. We have meals at a certain time. We react. Two things were there's a certain rhythm to the family and is a very calming rhythm. We can depend on it. We rely on it, it's very important children grow up in a family where there is a certain rhythm there's, a certain flow. Back your number three. There are active communications we tell you how to do that. You're a parent We want you to spend time talking to your children, about things that do not matter. I didn't miss spake ice.
I want you to spend time talking to your children, about things that do not matter why because it's great practice for when you need to talk to them about things that do matter. four watch, these hospital shows on tv. What's the first thing they say when they roll somebody into the e r. Started ivy with ringers lacked eight. Do you ever wonder what that was sugar, water. It has absolutely nothing yet either. No antibiotics there's no pain. Medication, there's never get it. What are they doing their getting it Open vein, so when they figure out what they do need theirs, open vain, so they can easily flow into it. What the patient needs that
what happens when you open channels of communication by talking to your children, about things that don't matter, it's not threatening it's easy And then, when something comes up that does matter, you ve got an open vain. You, flow right into. It is not the first time you ve ever gone out and tried to talk to one in your kids and are they going to thales? Is all about talk to your children about things it don't matter so there's an open line of communication when things do matter number four. You need to create rituals, traditions? These are things that have to do with birthdays, thang, Giving christmas bedtime bedtime rituals Things that your children will remember? Thirty and forty years from now Joe,
always open your presence on christmas eve. Did you go to mass on christmas eve? Did you have burst a parties where there was always a candle and it was just the family did you have certain things you did at bedtime. Did you two the tv off and start calming down before it was bedtime. Always told my boys story right before they went to bed and it always a story about them I told him a story and they were in the story. and they always used to listen to figure out. How am I gonna be in this story? I'll be telling a story than all of a sudden j? or Jordan was in the story and they were doing something. They always listened for that both of those boys grew up from the time were two three four five years old, getting told a story that they start in every night before they went to bed?
a big deal, but it was just a tradition. It was a ritual that they grew up with I will tell you to this day that aid heard these stores. Sometimes they were funny. Sometimes they were serious. Sometimes there is a matter of fact, but they were always in the story create little rituals and traditions for your family the fifth thing is you got to have crisis management. every member of your family knows that when a crisis arises. There's no judgment. There is no punishment. Theirs, problem. The crime this gets managed that ray family member becomes a resource. They know problems arise there. primary unit, their family.
and they need to know that and learn that, and you need to make that the case no matter what. you have your daughter. All of a sudden is pregnant at fourteen. She needs to know, my family, will rally around me we'll deal with it later, but right now I know I have a place to go. your child is getting bullied at school. They need to know. I have a place to go. I'm not gonna be left twisting and the to deal with this on my own. Have resources in my family? I'm not weird and I'm accepted. We have active Communication and my family is a resource for me. The I'm going, have all of those things on the website, because if you're going to change your family, it has to be on projects status, If you do that, you have a they start you have a formula to pursue.
What you need if you're gonna put it on projects status, you can't just make it up as you go along. Now, let's talk about you, I said we were gonna talk about A lot of people that had put themselves on projects status, and I said I was gonna, give you what I call the core characteristics of a champion hears, exciting part about this studied winning, I've studied motivation, absent, the championships. All my life. I've studied champions, all my life. I told you last time I ve been doing it since I was twelve years old. I focused on people do what they do and don't do what they dont do. and here's some really good news cross time. I've studied dozens and dozens and dozens of case studies of success. And here's what I found out there
There are certain factors, certain characteristics of every champ I've ever studied there there every time there There are some of the time there there. Every single time, I started out with a big list, but I they kept the factors that were there every single time. If that was there half the time and not have the time I threw it out, I just kept the factors on the list that were there, every single time? And I, put it down to a list of seven, the seven core carry to risks of a champion and the good news is not only are those things identifiable? Those seven things are doable by regular people. People like you and me, we don't to be world champion scares or world champion scientists. Researchers, these!
are things that are doable by regular people like you and me, and I'm gonna give you some illustrations now I'm kind of heavy on athletes here, because I grew up in an athletic world, and so I paid particular attention to those but play you some quotes from some people and tell you why they mean something to me. I was too can the Charles bartley not long ago. Listen to this quote that he had to say when I ask what motivated him to be one of that top five rebounds in the history of the nba. I was actually giving him a little bit because I said a you're: not the the specimen but yet you're, one of the greatest re boundaries. How did you make that happen? Here's what he said Why? Because I have success as a freshman the salad as you see a rebounded, but three years.
And one of my coaches, that you know if you get ten rebounds a night. We like the n b a right now, I think, that's probably Alice Sebold, a guy that was in ten rebounds a game right. He says he if you get ten rebounds, I saw you don't be an mba. Am I there's going be my specialty? I'm all get me at least every bow the night, think about what he just said, some he told him formula for success. They said you ten rebounds or not you're gonna be an n b, a. Here is a definition of success. You do this, you get that and he nail that down. He said that is my ticket right there, can do that. I got some specific I can do here. A clear definition of success, Other podcast. I was talking to emit smith the number one rushing champion in the history of the unifil, listen to what he said
The foundation of of sports the one thing that I lean on the mouse. I think the thing that, as help shape, and god me and give me the discipline and a focus that I need and that I need to be come. While it was my way out of the neighborhood. What you just heard, Emmett say was, What motivated him And if he had a strategy to change his station in life, he put station in life on price jack status, he had himself a strategy for getting out here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life projects I want out, So he had a strategy and he knew what it was. Here's another quote from it: I do believe tumor. given what is required right now.
What's the matter before as a mud before whale as owed to me out to start taken thee Take it on this that this this mantra light the larger the crowd, the more I wanted to perform. I wanted to give them. Came the sea, and so I want to a talent to stand out on a football field like no other I want People walk away is a man. I just think I just saw something very, very special. Important because the more I looked at it this way, the more I performed at my best, the more everyone else would probably perform at their best and the more chance more opportunities. We will have to not only win games but pass even when Jimmy ships to wow. you just had a glimpse into the heart of a champion. And what did you hear? You heard passion you? that he takes action towards unknown outcome,
you heard what he is saying to himself in his mind when he's pursuing something What do you say to yourself? He taking action towards unknown outcome and he very passionate about it. Then as though that wasn't enough he the following items to visualize the entire again be, for the game he was playing at do visualize the play cause when I The ball: what was going on woman deep, is a sad about where the gas was coming from a chatting free is pitch, this movie in my mind, in terms of what was goin to do What I was going to see and how I was born to respond now. I've taught about the importance of knowing what success was good grief talk about being specific.
Playing a movie in his mind of what success is gonna look like feel like, so visionary and that's present in every champion. I've ever studied, never ever did he shy from the challenge list this and so, but having the experience of being in games that are very, very meaningful to you as an individual blair and to you as a team is asked the paramount to your life experiences. I think at all pays it pays itself or what end backwards. It gives you the opportunity to appreciate certain banks. you ve, heard the old saying pressure is privilege he telling you matters that you are in situations that are meaningful, that huh a consequence, he did want to be in a comfort zone. He wanted the ball. He wanted to take risks champ.
and take risks chain. and get in the game of life. They get in a game of football and when they do, they want to be in a pressure positions. They don't shy from centre stage. They say put me in coach gimme. The ball listen to what shaquille o neill had to say. I was raised by a disciplinarian father, philip Harrison was a drill sergeant in the army. So when he met my mother- and I had to start early give me the bottle I'll. Tell you jus, I thank him. a vague or malta. It was very hard on me, but it's not something that I dwell on now, so he was too hard on me. I'm glad he did it as I look at a lot of guys in my position. They have no discipline to have no drive there are no values, so he he put down to me right away, as I was saying that at the recent gimme the bottle,
You hear what you say, and this is about being lazy. This is about requiring the most out of yourself. This isn't about a comfort zone. This is saying I didn't want the easy road I wanted the demanding road I wanted to require a lot out of myself. I myself on projects status, my father put, on projects status and I didn't bucket. I embraced it and now, when I got into the league, I realized I had an edge on everybody else. You are too to the beginning of part one and said I wanted you to be someone got it. What did I want you to get? I wanted you to have an edge on the rest of the world. This was shacks edge. He was discipline from a very early age. He required a lot of himself champions. Do that don't look for the cushy road. They dont look for the easy way out, what motivated him? Listen to what he says about motivation, because the number was a factor,
I grew up with nothing and then all this boy, tough, his mind, a boy. Let me get anything. you know, yours gotta take care of yoga taken. So when I'm life, five million a year. You damn a house on your blog. I was just out without us so factor for me at all, mother mother engineer, I can't be there already. If I write this essay, I can get an engineer that that's not a factor for me. So when I see the five million the change everybody lives That's a motivating factor fully to jump on our chance did you hear that jump on that chance. The universe rewards action. he saw something he wanted. He saw guy make five million dollars and he said I can do that. I'm going to seize the moment if that guy's getting five million dollars? For what he's doing, I can get five million dollars sure what I'm doing I'm going to get the there and get mine. I'm gonna take
Actually, I'm not sit in a comfort zone. I'm not gonna, have a damage, personal truth and say that's for him not for me. I'm claiming it eugenics the results in life. You believe you deserve. He don t deserve that five million they wouldn't for somebody else. That was for him, but like do like little waste over that. Just to keep me bunda, yes, You play the game in your mind. You'd have these internal motivation? Yes, you love you you're, not taking my mother's house ever Everybody's driven by something and, as you watch shack play basketball all these years? Did you have any idea that when he's ripping the rim off the back board, when he's push people out the way going down the line, what was in his mind and heart, is I'm gonna? Go?
That ball, I'm gonna, put it in the hoop cause. I'm gonna keep my job, because if I lose my job, you're gonna take my mama's house away and you're not taken my mama's house away there. What motivated him, how about you, What motivates you and He told me something beyond profile, Well Jay was like I'm that great to have my name on, and I was good, but shit we still have MIKE largely by Mr Casa I'll never be there were no will. When you get some, I regret believing you re turns up another much we're me talking about purse. truth and internal dialogue. He began to put nucleus of people around him, that believed in him and that Meant something to him
then shaquille, o neill? We look. It's a kilo kneel and say he is basketball. He's like a house with a ball in his hand. But he says no, no. It met the world to me that someone like jerry west believed that I was special. away from sports for a minute run white one of my best friends, People have said what, How could rod why we want to your best friends, he's a dope smoking, a cigar, smokin scots draken around her euro mediterranean fifty years. Well, you know they have to love everything. Somebody does to love them and I love RON white. He is good man he's a good father with a good heart. Do I like- they smokes dope gives drug too often. No, when I tell him a chance, I get. but he didn't listen still loving. These were the hardest workin
boy I have ever met. This guy makes millions of dollars filling up arenas and he does to hunt that's a year. What I would food, and this is brilliant at anna? We all agree. Is advanced stage time, so I will go to a restaurant say you guys should have a common competition here. the first prizes dinner for two, then I would only tell comics that I knew I was funnier, then, because I needed that dinner for two yeah. So I wanted to win so I wouldn't invite anybody that was any good. It was all be really crummy comics and me was a little less creamier than those guys are to get a just to get a meal now puts a joke into everything, but listen to the initiative. Ease talk about this no comedy club, he would go into a restaurant and say you need a comedy act here. He had the initiative, the motivation, the passion create a place to be. I ask you about that?
and he said this My only goal is to make you laugh his heart. Is you can physically laugh for as long as I'm on stage? That's my girl as not dead. You walk away smarter. Could you certainly won't, Obviously, when I want you to his walk away with your face heard that If the definition of success, he knows what his lane is, he knows what he's good at and he passionately pursues. It he's define success very specifically and he's taking action in that area. He's not trying to be all things to all people he has decided. This is who I am This is what I'm good at. This is what I am pursuing and I'm gonna be the best areas it. What I do. What is as for you, what your special skill. What is it that you do better than anybody else? What is it that is uniquely you that you can put on projects status to improve in the next twelve months and make a quantum leap forward.
And are you willing to do what you need to do to do it? You don't leave tall buildings in a single bound. You do it step at a time under three sets a when I'm down I'll. Do the umbrella laugh agri comedy stored? Sometimes I do three said to the comedy store so sublime. Just five sets an eye. He's talking about when he's not doing a city he's talking about when he has time off. he'll be home and go to accommodate club down the street for no money, and, Do three four five sets a night just to hone his skill want stay, really really sharp stage You know I do a lot of set, you know, she'll do a hundred ten cities a year in big in and then another. We know ten or twelve sets a week steve harvey is another. Amazingly, talented comedian actor
talk show host m c, producer, he said Something that was really trusting and showed so much the heart of a champion You know what man comes up a week. We come from the same type of cloth. You say some to me a long time ago. You say it. You blown out. My candle angle make yours brighter and I have used it so many times, and I have always given you credit share with me and asked what a lot of people think man a lot of people think that, if view Then, if you blow somebody else up dead, makes you less or a few lessons. Somebody blows europe now, man. your candle flickers your candle flickr. These talkin about there is you, don't get ahead by putting other people down you get ahead by being the best you can. This is a guy that code rows of corn in a field when he was
eleven years old. No, these champions didn't start at the top. I started where they started. They started scratching out a living cause. You may be sit near thinking, well, yeah That's easy be quoting least champions. Zis, multimillion air world champions, it's great for them, but sit near living in a rented apartment in the neighborhood, barely making my car payment or rent. We tell you these guys didn't start out? making millions of dollars. This know what steve army said. His philosophy was yet Do what you can do when you can do it? Don't turned down no geeks. Take a wherever he said, Look man is based is right here. What good is it you to sit at home causes school for comedy.
There's nothing. You can go, do to become a comedian. You have to be borne this way. So the only school for comedy is the stage you have to go as many times as uk? He say. So. If somebody offer you a hundred twenty five for a week and you been given to fifty you not gonna, go get one. Twenty five legal the house and give zero. or you can go to school and get one twenty five he's a man a paying you to learn. The craft never forget there and I was I took every gig. I didn't care what it pay. If I was off at the gate, That was the greatest advice. He told me that hustle has remained in the system. Talk about what sinbad another great comedian told him: hustle hustle hustle don't pass any gig take action towards unknown outcome and its
gonna be a success. Only journey. A red one time we're Michael Jordan said I've missed more than nine thousand shots in my career, I've lost almost three hundred games Twenty six times I've been trusted to take the game, winning shot and missed. I failed over and over and over again in my life. In that. Why I succeed. This is not a success. Only journey this. Something where you ve got to find your way. Ev ry, step of the way. billy, jean king, greatest woman's tennis player of her era, maybe of all time said a champion- is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning. Now, what do you think she means by that?
She means people live in a comfort zone and it takes guts to win. Because why People have a damage, personal truth and they think I don't deserve to win and when it gets down to it, they will find a way to lose. They ouch. They'll find a reason. did you do that. Do you come in second, do you fall short because In your heart of hearts, you don't really believe you're a winner. You don't really believe you're a champion. Wise man once said the difference between winners and losers. Is it winners? Do things losers, do not want to do. Well, maybe it would a wise man- maybe that was me, but That's really a good thought when you think about it. Winners do things losers, don't wanna do.
So how about you you will and do. What losers don't want to do. well, let's find out, I'm gonna tell you the seven core characteristics of a champion right now,. I'm gonna, tell you what I have learned. I've studied it, I've read about it. I've experienced it. And you're going to find. I'm gonna be summarizing for you. What I just gave you examples of from all of these amazing champions. Bartley image, belgic, shack ron, wide Steve harvey. these different people, And here they are. The number one thing I found among people there were winners, people that were champions If they understood you have to name it to claim it
they were very clear about what it is they wanted. They were very clear about their definition of success. these people that were winners. If you ask them tell me about success in your life. Tell me about what you're after man would they tell you. You a lot of people would say. Oh I don't want to talk about our jinx myself. Not these people They would say, oh, let me tell you, I can tell you how it's gonna look. I can tell you how it's going to feel. I can tell you how it's going to smell. I can tell you who's going to be there when it happens. I can tell everything about it. give you rich detail. They could see it, I mean it was just palpable to them. It was so real. They were not an unguarded missile, they were like a laser bomb, they had a target and they knew exactly what it was number two These people had a strategy. They,
a strategy from getting from where they were to what they wanted. they were dished out. Their work and hard say will hopefully some day is just gonna pay off? No, no! No, they had a strategy. They have. A plan they re colonise the difference between goals and dreams was a timeline. Anna calendar. They knew they had to have a timeline. They re kick lies that some day is not a day of the week. They recognise that if I want what I want I've, To set ago, I've got to identify the steps necessary to achieve the goal, and I've got to put that Yes, a timeline and I've got to hold myself accountable. they had a clear goal in mind and us energy to get there and that kept them focused on what they did want. Instead of working for what they didn't want. You don't want to.
Work all your life for what you don't want and then get it and go well. I got what I didn't want you Spend all your life working at least work for what you do want, not what you don't want to do that You have to define success and then you have to have a strategy to get there and that me. you ve got a break your goals down into measurable terms. Third, These people recognise that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but Universe rewards actions these weren't people that set around with good intentions. The where people that put verbs and their sentences they powered up towards unknown outcome, they behave their way to success. They did it. Until they didn't work on it for a day or a week or a month or a year, they did it until there was no quit in these people. They never stop. They were relentless. They did not stop until they got what they want. The
Universe, rewards action, naughty intention. They took power, From action they move towards their go there for us between winners and losers, as winners do things. Losers, though, want to do, and that means taking action and never quitting until you get what you want forth. These people did not live in a comfort zone. They did not live in a comfort zone. They were willing to take risks. They were not the kind of person that would keep one foot on the dock and one foot on the boat. And do the splits, because they were afraid to leave land They were willing to take the risk to go out to sea, they weren't reckless, but they didn't. Even a comfort zone, and you know But the number one risk is that people take it. What scares people the most it's that if succeed.
then people are going to expect them to maintain it think about it. Let's say you work in a job. You reckon seventy five thousand dollars a year in its sails and all of a sudden, you jump up and you make a hundred thousand dollars. Well, isn't everyone going to expect you to do that again or better the next year you damn They are, And you know what you're gonna do: you're gonna to your lifestyle, you're gonna start living at a hundred thousand dollars a year level, you're going and a hundred thousand dollar your house, a hundred thousand your car, you gonna, get one hundred thousand dollar year. France when there's gonna be lots of pressure to maintain that that worries people it's much easier. It stay where you are stay. Where its comfortable, not the. if the people, not the people, I've studied that were champions of people. I started that were champions were willing to take the risk they were willing to get out of the comfort zone. They were willing to risk what they had to get, what they wanted. Number five
There was an interesting quality about these people. They dealt with reality. These were not people that would kid themselves. These were people that dealt with reality. These are people. If they were in a bad relationship, they admitted it. They are in a bad marriage. They said so and, interestingly enough, they did not have an uncommonly high divorce rate. Why? Because, If they had a problem, they acknowledged it and they work the problem, but they dealt with reality. They weren't in denial. If they were pursuing something- and it was flawed, they acknowledge the flaws they fixed him or they made a course correction. They dare, With reality, they did not lie to themselves. They did not kid themselves, they did not go down some fantasy trail. Some get rich quick scheme. They were honest with themselves and everyone around them. In the last two I'm going to talk about together because they go together number.
Six is nucleus: One single success: story that I studied was alone ranger? every single one of them surrounded themselves with people that wanted them to succeed. They surrounded themselves with people that were like minded. That shared their passion and wanted them to do well. They wanted them to get what they were after. They wanted them to succeed and they went along for the ride because they were part of the journey. They were part of the success vega to reap the. benefits as well. how about you do you have toxic people in your life. Do you if people in your circle that do not want you to do well, do you have toxic people in your life that depressed anxious on drugs messed up, there
not pulling all in the same direction as you, but you let them hang around and contaminate your environment. Your mind, your effort, your world, if you are get rid of them, they are. thing worse than being in a bad relationship, for a year is being a bad relationship for a year and one day, if you ve got back People in your life hit the eject button and put them in your rearview mirror. Do not, burn daylight, get them out of your life. And the last characteristic that goes along with nucleus, because it is what bonds people together. Passion. Passion excitement. You have to have passion in your life, any of you don't you need Find something that you are passionate about. It was interesting, my son J wrote a book called life strategies for teens and improper, should for that book. He talked to groups of teens need
after some groups that were on drugs, and he talked some groups that we're not on drugs- and there was one primary characteristic: the differentiated, the two groups very surprised, as was he at what that differentiating characteristic was it was not. Moral compass or disciplinary parents. You know what it was. The kids that were on drugs, they were, choir you on drugs there most common answer was, I have no reason not to be. I have no reason not to be and I want to be accepted and the entry require, as for the drug culture, is Simply that I do drugs, I dont have To be clean, I don't have to be smart, don't have to be short tall, that skinny does it after all, I gotta do do drugs. There are no interview requirements whatsoever and I
have no reason not to do drugs. I got nothin else going on. And when he asked the kids who were not on drugs, Why they weren't on drugs? He thought he would get an answer of some moral compass that steer them away from it. That was the answer, the answer was greed, the air, it was agreed. They said I'm not on drugs because it does not fit my plan. I have something I want- and this does not get me closer to that, go with Was they wanted a car where they wanted to be on the football team or the debate team or go to college or whatever, and they just said drugs does not get me what I want I passion will want to be on a football team. I passionately wanna go to college, I passionately, wanna, have a car, passionately need this job and drug simply don't get me what I want. So it's my greed that keeps may move forward and don't help. So they don't fit my plan. What does tell you mom and dad. If you
have a kid, that's not passionate about something in life. You need Listening to me right now and go find something for them to be passionate about, because their passionate about something in their life where they don't have time for drugs? There much less likely to go down that road. But how about you. Are you going through the motions? Are you waking up every day and just putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions. Are you doing what you're doing today, primarily because it's what you were doing yesterday. not because it's what you want to do, but because it's what you are already doing are, Doing what you're doing today? Because it's what's expected by your family, your friends, your church, whoever. are you living on assigned life instead?
Nah, authentic life. If you are passionate about what you're doing. You need a really stepped back and ask yourself what it is. You would be passionate about. because you need to be passionate about something. Maybe it's a hobby, maybe it's your job, maybe your blessed enough that your hobby and your job are the same thing where your avocation in your vacation are one and the same. If that's true, you Truly blast, but you need something that you are so excited about, so passionate about that you I want to sleep fast is just like you just want to go back and get the back up. I want to get back in the game. I don't want to waste time sleeping I won in the game. I wanna be in life. I want to get moving, That's not the case, you to change the case.
these seven factors were present in every success case that I have studied over the last forty five years. and, as I said, every one of them are doable by you doable by me. put yourself on project status. Put your life on project status. Maybe you're not going to be the number one rusher in the nfl, maybe you're not going to be in the top five rebounders in the n b, a maybe you're, not going to be one of the top grossing comedians or entertainers in the world. But you can be the best at what you do. You can be the best in your life and you, be excited about who you are and where you are every day for the rest of your life. You remember, I asked the senator what's the matter Exciting thing to ever happen in your life
And he said well, Sonny I hope it hasn't happened yet. And I certainly hope it hasn't happened yet in your life. And I certainly hope it hasn't happened yet in mine. I'll talk to you next week, when I put Fifty one jersey, my dad's number at long island city, high school he wore want fifty one and hour There are fifty one within the next for my dad and was probably the highlight of my career to me acting is listening and responding, and it goes back to an old, stanislav ski quality, which is the secret to an actress. Creativity is the object of his concentration. I like to come back here and work on cars. You know these are all saying the hardest obvious when they had my hands were together and when you write jokes all day, just thinking with your head and then you come when you work with your hands and is just relaxing you and your accomplishing something you feel like you, you ve done some.
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Transcript generated on 2023-05-25.