From how to teach your kids what to do when it comes to safety online and in real life to what changes need to be made in the American education system, Dr. Phil and Ross Szabo, Wellness Director of the Geffen Academy at UCLA, continue their conversation in part two of a compelling Phil in the Blanks podcast.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ought to take a pause here to give you a quick preview of what's airing today on doctor phil, take a listen the facility. This all happened over the course of less last five days, tuesday, wednesday and with the girls title sunday morning. She decided this is a tragic ambush, cyber bullying. This is an epidemic and it doesn't just happened.
the warning signs that every parent least to know that check your local listings and for more on today's television episode, log on to doktor filled out come now back to feel
in the blanks last week on fill in the blanks. I wonder
were really setting them up to be overwhelmed by what's happening in the world. The complex I had a man it when I was in high school real conflict
There might have been a kid who was, like, I don't know, kind of a bully threatening me that I had to like worry about. Maybe I dunno I had issues with my parents. I played sports, you know when I had to think about like my friends or relationships, but those were real conflict and they were limited. The conflicts that they may think therein could be any number of things that are happening around the world drought, then political unrest, body image, school shootings
The other number things there thing on social media: there not real conflict in their lives, but they are to them. I am concerned that is part of our dealing with and teaching these kids.
Kids about mental health is not also providing them real. Genuine coping skills ray,
genuine coping strategies for hand.
the real world challenges that we are going to put
im out into a world. That is a meritocracy that is a gotta get the product out the door. Gotta get the work done, they're going to eat them alive or they're, just going to be consumers forever right. Exactly and just setting up that system yeah and there are. There are programs that do really a great job with that common sense media as digital literacy for young people of all ages and starts that program really,
Young too. We use that programme on our school because they do a great job at the hardest thing is. You know, though, is that that that tier period between twelve and twenty five with that second largest here, to bring growth or the brains being flooded with dopamine, these phones or is addictive as heroin and social media, and all these other things they just tap into the EU. They hire some of the best neuroscientist in the world to find out how to be even more insidious to the dopamine head that people are getting as their going through this phase.
so then. In that way, I was joking people that being an at all as really either undoing adolescence, that twelve twenty five period or
reliving, depending on your level of self awareness right, and that's really what we do here.
We are anointed, er, reliving it, but it's such a critical time period of brain growth that does set the neural pathways and habits and coping skills for them for life, and that's it speaks to your point of why it's important to teach it check it out. I've got a secret with robin mcgraw, with Eric beautiful known as the florist to the stars and king of roses. Designing
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It varies by location, about twelve, twenty nine to one lemon yeah and the problem is these phones they're? Essentially a variable ratio, reinforcement schedule which is the most addictive and the most difficult to extend
because they don't know I just put up another picture,
we'll get more likes. Maybe I'll do this. I don't know when they're going to get paid off, they just keep trying and trying and trying, and they actually get depressed if they put up a picture and it gets happening
He likes as the one before they have a reactive depression to it. Then, god forbid, some troll gets on there and starts telling them to kill themselves your fat
ugly, dumb. I've always said the number one need and all people is acceptance belonging this then everyone fears rejection. This happened so much on the internet perceived by them. These kids have this need to be loved by strangers,
and that's a real danger saying when you give your power away to this faceless mob, that
turn on you at any second, I really wonder what we're doing or what we can do to toughen these kids up enough
that they keep their own power and not give it away to this faceless mob of social media people,
we call it social media. I really wonder of its social media, does
think they're so needy on their that they just become addicted to this reinforcement that can base
well fickle. One thing that we do in the classroom, at least, is give them real, actual scenarios that they're going to have to deal with and talk through how they can manage it differently and manage it better. I think a lot of times people think like school curriculum is just all these like lectures, and you know kind of talking down to people and stuff like that. I think the most effective
I've seen with students, is putting them in real situations in one of the units we
when we talk about substance, use I'll break students into small groups, I'll walk around and be like you've all been drinking at a party, this kids passed out you, the people, aren't passed out, need to discuss what you're going to do about it and then we're going to talk about what your options are, because we have to move past this point of hoping that they're going to get these lessons are hoping
that if they see a powerpoint or a lexer, it's going to work. We have to start putting them in hey here's the situation, here's what your friends going through here's, what you're going through! What are we actually going to do and then to your point of making them tougher?
giving them the exposure without them actually having to go through with it, so that when
are in that situation there better prepared, makes a huge difference. I love what you're tom out in small groups, we ve had some experts. It we worked with on teaching kids
taking care of themselves safety wise and they teach him powder yell for help in do different things and
They said the number one thing that made a difference in those kids actually being safe. If someone tried to abduct them
was, if they role played it with their parents, they would tell em to yell dyke help help. This is not
daddy or fire anything that made it distinctive. They were dropped to the ground and start kicking
Anything it made him hard to get hold of and
less and until the parents went out in the yard, with them tried to grab them
and had him start screaming and kicking and dropping to the ground and rolling that once they had done that for five times they didn't
freeze up when it actually happened. Right have to actually role play. It yeah! Well,
in the other thing it does too, if you think about the small group dynamic, it's also teaching other kids, how to speak up and what to do in those
croatia, because the reality is especially when it comes to social media. A lot of kids do face, shame and embarrassed
and so they may not share it with your friends and then
They do share with their friends. Their friends don't actually know what to do. Then. Ok, they're sharing
if someone's not even going to know what to say. It goes back to the conversation we were having about my students who are taking on talking people out of suicide or talking people down from suicide. If that person now gets a chance,
the talk about this and understand it, then someone else in their life is gonna, be ok. This is an ok and this needs to change hey. What can we do? Who can we talk to about this? Because this isn't right and I think the thing that
We really underestimate about schools in america. We hear so many bad things about schools in america and we hear so many
things about education, and we see so many bad things about you know. What's through the goat,
their teachers and parents and everything the one thing that is
guaranteed in every single school in this country is that there is a few more than a few at all to care.
who really genuinely are there every day of, however, lie
their career? Is because the care about kids and what we're not do
is giving those adults the information.
they could actually use in a classroom or annex
ricky one. That would make a difference. We keep saying, we can't do it, we can't do it, we can't do it. We have an unlimited amount of people in this country.
In schools who care and want to know what to do and we're not giving them the resources that could actually help those in body to capital. He'll, bye, bye person
to testify on re authorization of the air
The tree and secondary education act wheelings. I talk about it.
gotta put money in the curriculum to deal with cyber bullying and ears thing if they don't put money and time
allocated in the curriculum to do what you're talking about, then it's not go
to happen, raising awareness is bullshit, you ve got to actually put the money and to develop the curriculum, you're talking about, have developed and are continuing to develop and then
instead of having like home room where they sit in air and stare at each other, just even twitter.
minutes three times a week. Anything is better than nothing yeah, that's you're, doing where they can t
about what you're talking about this is what mental health is. These are the things
that you need to be aware of it. Every one of those kids in becomes an ambassador for those who didn't get that right,
go to college and they recognize it and they can pull somebody to the south.
I didn't say: hey people ask me a lot of times. How do you get past the defensiveness, you say hey, you need help, people don't react. Well to that, and I always said if you replace the word need with deserve. It makes all the difference in the world. If you'll go to somebody and say it seems
to me that you are having a hard time and you deserve some peace. You deserve some happiness there.
are some people available that can help you enjoy that that it really takes a lot of the defensiveness down every one of these classes, at your sharing that were these two hundred fifty thousand,
people there all ambassador they go out and impact ten people, then that's two point: five million: did they impact a hundredweight? This growth is a ripple effect, yeah
no one. It definitely as- and I think the other thing when you talking about
just leaving it there? Are
it's that are mandating mental health curriculum in schools. Virginia didn't new york do it, for it has done it to an extent. California's mandated suicide prevention, but there is never the fall
through to make sure what they're doing or how they're doing it
So when you say all of these things could be large scale programmes now we could, they be large scale. Programmes are easy to implement
have enough resources where they could be cool exactly
You can use all these. You know influencers and everyone else to make it a part of actual behavior change and talk
about the realities of it and support people, and I often never seen
followed. We were the concerted
for it on that. It's, like you, evidence, base therapies. This isn't about a teacher.
taking the time to go in and tell some war stories about their life, it's about going through a curriculum that has
miracle data supporting the fact that this does teach the child the teenager. Whatever.
Information. They need to recognise and react to situations in a timely way. The hunter powers that be
When I talk about my own experiences with the euro, attempting to take my life, it's not about me
it's about using my story to get them to think about the choices and the decisions that
you're making in their lives and this
is a a practice that we developed. So I became the director of outrage at the national months. All awareness campaign in two thousand to the nationalists
duennas campaign, you probably remember, was launched by the current administration. Ninety nine, then it was the first public health approach to mental health,
So what a lot of people don't know is from two thousand
the two thousand six. We went out and research. What were the most effective responsible ways
for people to share their stories about mental health, and I worked with researchers.
That, and I am age and I worked with people who were in a really high levels: proof mental health professionals so that we are doing it.
sponsor boy and then we were able to launch the first youth mental health awareness to a speakers bureau based off of the evidence based ways of how you actually share your story in a way that allows people to think about their own life.
So, not only we are you saying it from a perspective of not being more stories. Doktor fill. This is something we have practised for two
This isn't knew this isn't us coming out
why do I feel the main like hey? Let's do this the scene
trainings that I did to create the first a large scale month of
innovations in this country, are what we're doing with teachers today, it's not something that we're just throwing out the
and they want to know the truth.
I want to know what they were going to make stuff up on their own now they want to put the dots close together in connection with
bright red line, so they don't feel like
I getting where I don't belong here. This is a tried and proven program. I was reading a study, you've probably seen it, but it was published in the biological psychiatry, global open science and they compared brains of young people, pre and post pandemic, and have determined that
These teen brains aged during the pandemic, at a much faster rate than for alike period when they did not go through the panel
make and not in a positive way. It isn't that a mature in that in my life
there are too many aged in they compared scans the physical structures of their brains before
to the pandemic and they knew goin ended
had higher levels of depression and anxiety and fearfulness, but what they didn't know was the effects of the brain
And so they looked at mri scans, they found thinning of the tissues in the cortex, which, as we know, is the planning
executive function and all foresight the ability to see the consequences, their action.
When they really dug down? They saw changes.
It can result in higher risk of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, a lot of things because of how the brain is reacting so
this is not something that is likely to cure up in a short period of time now the brain is very resilient. There is no question about that, and with proper kind of nurturance and good sleep and good nutrition, these brains potentially can recover. That's why I say.
This is a launch, a two, no problem. If everything that we can do to support them, behaviorally, mentally and emotionally is going to support recovery brain wise, it is all fits together. My question to you is: we started talking about the tec happening dino dan sago by any chance, of course, he's on our advisory board here and is a really valued colleague of mine. We ve talked about this sum and, as I said, these college kids now that have an attitude where I guess about thirteen or fourteen twenty thirteen. Twenty fourteen was kind of the first time they started. Medical
as using their complaints. They start saying this professor says thanks. I disagreed with that hurt me made me feel unsafe made me whatever
Oh, we ve seen more professors dismissed from student compliance.
In the last several years, then we ve seen since the Mccarthy era from
and complaining. Now I haven't study these on a case by case basis. Although I've looked at several, not all professors are great. Some of em, probably.
Cross from wise but a lot of them, it was ideological it
do with asking students to take the law enforcement side. No george floyd situation or aside. That was contrary to their core belief, which
I thought with how you learned how you resolve cognitive dissonance, how you looked at the other side, how you broadened your scope and studies show anywhere between fifteen and thirty percent of students. Sank, it's ok to yell down a speaker on campus set. You disagree with stunning
To me, it s a big hangs, a big change or we coddling them too much and what's the limit
we coddling and empowering right exactly because one at some point you want them to speak up. You know there are certain issues in our society today that are based on people's identity, markers and end.
If you haven't identity marker, that is good,
legislative or change.
that's out of your control, you want them to feel empowered to be like this isn't right and I want to change. But on the flip side, you also
them to understand
and that there are different perspectives, our different viewpoints that impact your life, and how do you balance those too
in the cases you're sharing. It sounds like we're going to an extreme
in one way of not just not just empowering where coddling to the point of like you don't ever have
face this are realised this or experience this. I know that
You see a ways college counseling center
there are fifty four college councillors now and most of the concerns
come in or not about mental health disorders. They can't talk to her room, they can't talked. They can't ask on it. Someone
a date. They don't know how to manage basic wife skills, so I don't have that the specific answer to
if we're coddling and in regard to social justice issues or speech lake, we're looking at the perspectives from a college, professor,
But I do know that life skills in general are lacking, and I do know that at my school the idea was: what have we thorough teaching these life skills from great six
grade twelve, so that when they get to college, are not going the counseling centre to figure this out they're having a conversation
real people in their life, because we can teach about conflict.
Resolution and all these other things that their relying on adults for so it's probably
much like you're, saying
A combination of things, not just the a quick one off answer, but it's it's complicated and I'm not saying that they should agree with a professor or that they should be penalized if they don't agree with the professor right. But do you get him or her fired because they presented a point of view, that's offense
If to your sensibilities, people asked me a lot of times. What would I say is the job of apparent there's a thousand
as you could describe that. But I think one of the broadest ways is to prepare the child for the next level of life when learn kindergarten, ear, preparing them to face the challenges. That
if he's in kindergarten, but when they move up the ladder and they're having to be more independent in their study and stuff that you prepare them to be more responsible and organized and when they start good.
In the social situations. You really want to focus on their self worth in their self esteem, but you are preparing them for the next level of life and
right now. I wonder if some parents and
universities are failing to prepare these young people or what the world is going to,
back, because whether you like it or not there
still is a meritocracy, they're gonna be competing and if they are not willing to do things that don't fit their ideological value based
vision, they could wind up in a pretty menial job if they dont have the flexibility to not change their views but accommodate those who disagree theirs
the difference between cancelling and calling it right and most when I have these conversations with my students. They know these differences
really well and they'll say
in a lot of ways. Cancelling one doesn't always exists because somebody ends up somewhere right, but the aspect of calling someone in can lead to more restorative hewing, then just removing some one and two-
Obviously, if someone does something egregious, I think we both area like that's just there is no place for that.
But what you are saying of preparing them for the future. If we set up a system where everyone thinks, if I complain about this than I,
and I have to ever seen in my life, we're not setting that person up for success and and when you talk to
so when I talk to young people who are victims of this in different ways, because gender dynamics
play out in a specific way, especially in middle schools in high school
at times they do want that personally be called in
I do want them to understand so that that person also grows for the future too and understands oh. I wasn't aware that that's not some
I can say say another. Obviously there are cases where someone is more than well versed, knowing that they vision say that they can. They say it. So I think that when I
At least my experience with this younger generation is that they do want to have an opportunity to talk this out and see what can
Ben you're, talking about when a a system of structure or power takes even that away from them and just says we're removing this person and and that's problematic. That is problematic. I've always said I don't think we should have a cancel culture. I think we should
the council culture. I try to have both sides of issues on my platform here and give everybody an opportunity to speak their mind to allow
but I'm not gonna have K k K,
Eight mongers on here that maybe as the other side, but they're are going to have to go somewhere else to show us have done that. To talk about that. That to me is just sensationalizing and I'm not going to do that, but there can be two sides of an issue: even homelessness. There's two sides:
is the issue. There are those that think home first and then those think no, we gotta get people earning the right to do this and I'll have both sides on and they're very respectful and talk about it. But then
There are those who do say thank you, for
having me on and talking about this, but I can't understand why you let those people come here and talk about the. Unlike what do you mean? What am I going to have just you and your side here talking about it? It really comes a lot from young people college people that I wonder what they're going to face when they get out.
There. I wonder if they're gonna become a bachelor college say, and I paid you to prepare man, you didn't do it, it's gotta, be introducing a say
well, you know, I think there are a lot of young people to their eyes.
Who you know they they there's these issues where their identity marker is something they can't change
and they've had a really negative experience that they do want to feel like someone in a a power structure supports them. You know sexual assault, a huge one and sexual assault on college campuses have gone up significantly. There's a you know. Great organization called it's on us that tries to prevent sexual assault and when I have conversations with especially young women, the amount of young women who have been sexually harassed by seventh grade is shocking and, and we almost normalize it to a point where they're kind of told like well. This is the society you live in, and this is what you're expected to just stomach or or take. So I do think there's this growing and
I hope that for some people they think like hey. If I speak up about this, something is going to change and and- and I think in some ways- you're seeing colleges say yeah, it's going to change, we'll just get rid of these people, but that doesn't change it. That doesn't change their experience of being
sexually harassed at such a young age or that having people be sexually assaulted, with no consequences. So I'm choosing just the specific issue here. You were talking about political ideology. I think that this is that line between coddling and empowering. I I want these that the students I see to be speaking up and taking action in the ways they are, but it can't
so far where it's taking away the that someone thinks they're solving the problem, but they're not actually solving the problem. They're, not even addressing. I had a company called courtroom sciences, which was a trial science firm. We would help with trial strategy, do mock trials to test
cases during my trials. I would often asked role play the opposing council and argue the other side, and we sometimes went through thousands of mock jurors a year in different cases.
I'm real fast. I didn't really feel prepared for trial until I had learned and argued the other side's case may take. Everybody has a great case in
true, but you get out there in a court room and have to defend it and argue the other side. You go. Oh hadn't thought about that. That'd be representing a fortune, one hundred company they're getting sued, and then I had to then argue the plight of side
the gets them, and only when I learned that
I find out where
Rubber really met the road. In that case, I would come away saying I understand their case now.
than I do and they're not making their best arguments. Thank god
I understand it and I really wonder if we have a generation now that is willing to do that, willing to look at the other side's point of view yeah. I I think that I think that it's a lot of them are. I think one thing that I see happening at least especially in the power dynamics, is there's far more representation of marginalized groups in our society today than ever before. Ever before what I see happening from people who
privilege in power there there interpreting representation as oppression to them. You know you always hear the statement of equality equality for
some people in power or privilege feels like oppression. They don't have equality. These marginalized groups are just getting representation, they don't have equality and there is a feeling, I think, from privileged and powerful people that this representation is oppression to them, that how dare they have to acknowledge this? Other marginalized group, whatever it is race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and so I think, to to kind of balance. What you're saying to your seeing this gen Z, have more representation and have more rights than than they've had in the past and and some powerful people are treating it as now. It's oppressing them. How dare they ask for this? I'm not saying you're doing that. I'm saying there there's a dynamic playing out where representation is feeling like oppression to groups in power, and when you talk about mental health, the mental health of young people who are in these marginalized groups is far worse than than that.
people who are in it? If you are black trans and lower socioeconomic status, your your mental health is going to be much worse than someone else, so I I hear what you're saying I think it all ties together, especially when we're talking about mental health advocacy if you're in the group, you just described your double digit at risk compared to the rest of the population yeah. So so you talk about what we can do in schools. One thing I do in in my classrooms is I'll: have students so we'll put an identity marker on a a white piece of paper, big posterboard around
rope and we'll put identity markers on there. So maybe it's by pfc or white male. You know female woman lgbtq, I a plus abled disabled rate, will put different identity markers on there and then on post. It notes, kids will have to list what is an assumptions.
types are difficult about. Having that identity, mark and they'll be brutally honest, you know refer for white people will be white girl like whenever it is, or power or privilege wherever,
as an end. They go around the room that you all these things at the end of the class
then read out everything they wrote and I don't I'll. Let them you know, share what they want and then I'll ask them. Okay, what happens if you have multiple identity markers? Do you think you have higher stress or lower stress than these other people and then they'll list the identity markers I'm like? Oh, I guess. If I had all these identity markers, my mental health would be far worse. My stress levels would be much higher, so I don't have all the answers to it. To kind of what you're saying I I hear your concerns and I think they're valid, but I think it's also important to have
students understand that, though those layers of identity and how it affects your mental. How, oh, I agree her pursuit. What I'm saying is we need to prepare them to cope with what they're going
they have to deal with when they get into the world, because it is competitive
We gotta give him the coping skills, not just feed em
the machine and then they get overwhelmed by
all of those demands, judgments exclusions
whatever they go on, I have no coping skills which my wireless,
so fascinated by what you're doing here, because I think that is what giving them
the opportunity to learn how to not give their power away. How to
recognize when their overwhelmed raise your hand and asked for the help that they need. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's real
yeah. We can change the world, but in the meantime you ve got to survive in it. That's the key and we gotta a
I am for the next level of life. It s an ex level alive willoughby
you this enclosing, given.
we do have.
So many more young people today that are experiencing,
the logical levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness problems with,
emotional, well being what is
advice to parents to help keep these kids safe and to get there
I'm on a solid ground as possible got a bunch of paris listing right now, as the wellness
rector, what would be your best advice to parents? It's a couple key thanks.
Number one know your family history, so he I think I was twenty seven. When I sat down when my parents and asked hated anyone else in our family have,
help us worn and I'm not even exaggerating like eighteen minutes later they stop, naming being paid
thanks for dell and me ok, so there's too
ports are knowing your family history. One is, if you
Mental health disorders are addiction in your family. You need to be extra vigilant
because that is one of the biggest determining factors of if your kids are going to have it, and then
after knowing your family history, no more about those disorders so that you can spot earlier on
so that, if you see outburst than behaviour that are persistent as a kid will like, maybe is bigger than just that emotional development or that milestone
so knowing your family history has to be. First and foremost, a good point will think about that.
We all know There- should egg predispositions. We don't think about it enough now, free my grand
for alcoholic. What a great points,
Oh, you know the chances of me abusing substances
If I start at a young age were really high, my parents that know that my parents,
how to survive living with the kind of classic nineteen fifties. Alcoholic parents right so that's hard
the second piece is. If you know your friend
History and you can learn.
These disorders and you can spot warning signs earlier
really want to start a system where you
have conversations with their kid from a young age. Instead, a confrontation and that's hard, I think, as parents
Jesus. I do this, don't do this.
and then you fall into that model from a young age and then the kid grows up in a dynamic of either pushing back against it back talking whenever it is or engaging in it, and
One of the things I always try to do is pursuing my students is try to make them the export of the issue that I'm teaching them so we're talking about, raping
Instead of starting the lesson with, don't they asked them what you know above aiming who do you
Let's face it, you don't have to name names but like what do they do? Why do they hate what's happening in that system for them and then
are you raping, and that is a much different dynamic were that kid gets the feel like the expert and is a part of it
I'm and then
I might still have to get to a point. Where then we'll go, don't do this,
here, as are the reasons why, but at least they feel include
the is constant confrontation and then I think
other thing: parents really needed there was model the behaviour they want to see. You can't just tell your kids, you want them to talk about their mental health. You want them to be balanced.
while you're working forty hours a day and leg, not sleeping screaming at your partner and mining, all the behaviors, you don't want them to have you really? If you want your
Is that mental health
difficult as it is in today's society, where mental health is an prioritize, that's not affordable in a lot of ways right for families go outside.
take a family walk and make sure it's something you do even if they push back because this
can you give in on a boundary, kid learns how to manipulate you being a child.
Is really just trying to figure out how to manipulate parents and doing what you and, if
the boundaries war. What you were prioritizing as mental health will, of course, they're gonna get out of it. So it's so that's an important piece,
the next piece is take care,
of yourself, because no one else is going to eat. I think
at least in my experience and and I ve had. I don't have the experience of of of reaching as many people as you have, but I have spoken over two million people in person and the amount of parents who are in a dark place and will have a key
who doesn't want to admit they have a problem who doesn't want to accept it and
is staying up. You know all ours
like us, are worried that you're not gonna come home is a really common situation right now,
dad used to tell this got wrenching story where he would say he got to a point where he was convinced that one night
it was just going to be the police at the door telling him I was dead.
In those moments. He knew that he had to take care of his mental health that, if you do
take care errors, mental health, much like the oxygen mask on a plane. He wasn't going to be able to get back to me and said
he always left the door open and he had
Let me know way: hey here's! What's available to you
How about you? I love you and his
is hope, was there not lose himself in the process, and I don't think
since are able to have enough time to do that, but it's it's gotta be up.
Already, even if its fifteen minutes, even if its authority
then it's a joy. If, if you are in a marriage, a relationship of partnership taking timeframe
there too, so that you can maintain that partnership and not lose it amidst everything that's happening with the kids. My oldest brother has bipolar disorder and was in a psychiatric war.
Throughout his college experience I had my own struggles emma
parents never stop going on dates than ever,
taken a one or two day vacation. They never stopped. Try
maintain what cap then strong, because they
wanted to maintain that for the family, and yet
sometimes it was strange, but furthermore
forget what they were trying to do so,
would be my advice. No, your family history. No, what to look for try to have conversations versus confrontations
I model the mental health. You want to see and take care of yourself. Well, that's a damn good checklist and I always tell parents talk to your kids about things that don't matter because
You will open those lines of communication which you need.
When it comes to talk about things that do matter. If they can talk about.
video games of sports or music or whatever you don't want to talk
your child for the first time when it really counts, get that line of communication
open and always use. The analogy is like when you go the e r. What's the first thing they do you hear him on tv. All the time say give me an ib with ringer's lactate, that's just
opening align. So when you figure out what you do need you can plug it in
what you gonna do with your kids. Communication was get the line open and when it comes to talk about some that matters, you ve got it
I opened line yeah and don't be afraid to have those boundaries we have. You know I think technology and boundaries for parents has really been a struggle, because you know, if you give the kid that device you're going to probably get to sleep
but the device can't be the parent. We don't want electronic baby, please, regional was tvs. Now we're doing over the device can't be well what a great great com,
station. I'm gonna put this on the website. I'm gonna take the things that you too said turn him into a list. Put him on.
the website, so people can go, look at him and have at least cause. It is very prescriptive about what people need to do and so
inspired by what you're doing and teaching these kids and amusing, I can do to help you tell me. I appreciate in spain,
about what you're doing. I thought I told you that Dave we were together and I could spend
three more hours talking to you, so I'm gonna stock you and get you back over here again and read it. So we can pick up and talk more about this. We have this crisis right now and
Think it is an epidemic and weird
going to have to do something about it. We haven't even talked about the developmental issues that kid's or haven't because the academic gaps and what we're gonna have to do to close that and what its
the cause when it starts to obtain mentally and emotionally and how kids learn about themselves and for their self image and selfish,
team there are. So many more things that we can talk about, but we'll do that in part to have that we'll hit
soon, I love it so much ram. Really thank you for coming very, very helpful, very important. I love this conversation thanks I got
that's it for today. Thank it. Well, there was great sorry
after so long, but I just want to take anything out. It's fine! You! You have such a depth of knowledge of all this stuff. It's it's super impressive, really impressive. To be able to
and everything you married,
the specifics of lakes. Let's that's impressive! I talked to a lot of people were in school,
you don't know as much as yours talkative up a little
very passionate about this. I know you know a serious a day when I said we ve got to talk some more, but this wireless after you had an app serious. When I say I want to do this again
I mean if you want to come and see this school. I would love to my students
all wants the episode scooter.
So they were all excited and leg had an endless questions like what was it like who? I was frustrated that some people took it.
our time. I wanted us to talk more, and I would like to do this some more. I am very passionate about all this. Is there so much to talk about it's just. There is always two
Gordon. I think the best thing you ve done for this country. As you ve made mental health approach. You are being done.
to you. My aunt watches you my my dad's sister. She watches you every single and even she said lake. You have taken these concepts. That are
so difficult for people understand and made it relate aboard
understandable? And that's what I try to do in the classic is is look at that model and how can we make us a part of education? So you know, I think, what you of ways the tray.
Calls for this in so many ways and and talking about how
Nevertheless, classroom was a natural bridge, so I appreciated people a promise me things endlessly over the past
twenty years of me doing this work here, the first one whose actually been like a follow up and africa
hollywood
Let's do lunch guy from tat
is, let's say, let's do lunch. Needless no shit go get something yeah, here's food.
Transcript generated on 2023-01-01.