Dan Ariely, expert in decision-making and behavioral economics, reveals the science behind online dating in part 2 of this life-changing episode of the Phil in The Blanks podcast. Plus, he shares how to make the most of the massive, destabilizing interruption to our daily lives and healthy routines COVID-19 has wrought. Ariely also teaches how to program your behaviors and empower your instincts to yield exciting, long-term benefits. For more information: www.drphilintheblanks.com
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Last week on fill in the blanks there was this very very said study, it asked the question of Percentage of Americans die too early because they ve made bad decisions in the results show that this number is increasing all the time, and the question is: why are we becoming governed answer is no. What is happening is that the environment is becoming better attempting. Think about doughnuts, don't, let's are really getting better. What they mean by getting better is not a they're getting healthier they're, getting more tempting roared facebook. Coming better our phones or becoming better attempt cigarette texting while driving. Follow me around us is an economy of temptation, We sail and we said a lot welcome report to of what controls your decisions may shock you. We need to study after the two thousand and seven two thousand a crisis since we reminded people about the crisis
in just reminding about that crisis made them feel more entitled right bankers took from me, I can take some from somebody also. So if you think that the term adversaries is good, if you think, you are against an evil entity right and then your it's much much easier for you to justify this If you think that everybody is behaving this way I dont know if you ve been an online dating sites we deal with them all the time on this. because of the cat fish in the print stealing of identities, and when we deal with these alot yet so said, the moment them People are lying about their age and weight in height and all kinds of things it becomes the standard and people don't feel their their cheating anymore, but by the way to it,
It's a real question in society know these days when we think about David. The pandemic, I think trust is incredibly important right. We need to trust people, that's what they tell us is the right information right and end when we, when we stop playing with the truth and when we start feeling that the entities that around us. An adversarial in knots dont have orbit interesting mind. That's that's really shakes shake some of the basic fabric of collective puzzle, collective action. But what have you learned about this because from a purely psychological standpoint, it would be psychopath ache or narcissistic people that go on a dating site and they show Picture that was thirty pounds in ten years ago to attract. more males or females, depending on what their target is,
they know that This is gonna hit the wall because if they do get a hit, they get attraction they go to a meeting. They know they're gonna, barely recognizable when they show up so they know it's gonna hit a wall that I can show a and then present be so I am going to have to come clean there to see the difference. How do they know defy that and ignore the fact that they're gonna have to pay the piper they're gonna have to complete eventually yet so said that two things that happen. One is that if you had that happen to you. you start believing that other people do, it is, will rise so here, she's, not gonna, show up, look at where either etc. So so that's that's one of the thing about the slippery slope of society, writer is if if somebody disappointed you with with their picture
now now your disappointing. So that's one second thing is rationalization had one person came to me and said you know I know I'm I'm forty, but they feel like. I look, thirty six so wouldn't it be actually more or less to save thirty six, because it's a better this exactly what I am. But so that's the second thing and the third one is that people are hopeful that if the other person would only get give a chance to to know their real them. They will fall in love with him.
and that's that I think, is a first. Why doesn't work and, of course, the gap between expectation and realities is off putting so people dont give them a real chance, but miss disbelief for for some people that the real self is better than the observed self from the picture, and and look it's it's a tough it's a tough world go,
but all I did and I personally I look kind of strange rise. So if I, if I had to go online dating you know, to be it'll, be tough, it'll be tough, and if all the world's sees you just basin, your picture like so saw- and I'm just talking about myself now, but you know I I thought that all the world saw was just my picture and the judge me based on that, and you know I heads this is more extreme, but you know I had people who talked slowly to me because thought up in comprehend. People make all kind of association based on how we look right on other things. So so imagine somebody who doesn't looked at good and in world of online dating is become more and more about, looks and now you say: how do you get? How do I get my other attributes to shine? platform, is not allowing that to come through
So what you say is, let me get them to meaning. Let me just get them to a meeting and they'll see the real me. The problem is that strategy doesnt work, but if I had the power I would change dating platform. I would try to make the dating platform less about just looks and include more attributes and force people to have a slightly deeper. Process, because that superficial process, by the way, if you think that looks, is the initial screening its a lot of wonderful people out there without without romantic love you I'll get you with a head like mine. I would still be single if it was all of involved, since I was twelve, so it would. It wasn't exactly and I when hair gods worry in the eighties stuff, seventies and eighties ever had big air, and I was
bald. So it would have been tough for me on dating sites back in that day, yeah we calculated that so we we got, a lot of data for me and online dating site, and we could ask the question of what different attributes are worth. It So, for example, I've I'm five nine and I could say if I wanted, as attractive as a five ten person. somebody somebody's one, each taller how much more money what they have to make a year to make up for them and it turns out it's a lot o. Really. I too large a lot. It's it's! It's over twenty thousand dollars, really what you find out about baldness, I don't want to tell you, but it's very you have to make lots of money to make up for both this.
it's a lot more than twenty thousand. It's it's more, but but you know it's it's not just because people in women are superficial. We are, but it's not just because of that. It also because these platforms directive, we talked about choice. Architecture is if it is platform. Ask you: what's the heights of your desired person and you say five ten, never see a lovely five nine person. If you You say I told you see, bolts people you'll, never see somebody who's, lovely and involved, so that technology is actually redirecting nuts she's in ways that are not always easy for us to understand and in understand the consequences of that soap once we understand that we need redesign platforms in a better way, again, that's how people don't understand that they can do fault themselves out of choices,
two unities, where they live Miss good, except France's good people. Good opportunities Bush lecturing themselves out. They might miss me cause I'm ball, but they would also miss Dwayne Johnson, the rock you know his ball to they all by God here is one of the most It's a movie stars in the world because as they have something prefixed in their mind, that motivates them. absorber excited to talk about drew and Jonathan Scott, also known as the property brothers. Not We do they have the number one home design show on tv, but now you can play their hit mobile game property brothers, home design, where innovations can actually be fun. Relaxing join millions of others who were joining beating the games, puzzles, earning coins and helping drew and Jonathan Scott Design. All types of dream spaces discover
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the hell happened, and this was in seventh eighth grade- and he looked at me- and he said well boy- you just got your ass handed to you on a platter dad. I was leaving more deep inside the net and he said those boys were hungry, they were hungary- and I was envious of those kids who had nothing. I said I want inside what they have. I want that drive if they can do so much with so little, What should I be able to do with so much at the time there? a few years later I was homeless, but at that point I actually had a home in football Gear- and I was still a fairly well, but my dad was alcoholic in things where the hell, but at that point I thought, those kids you have so little have so much I was actually envious of them and actually learn that its passion, not money that drives people and.
your research has shown that getting p. to be more productive, really isn't about more money in my oversimplifying there and its both? Yes, I know it is absolutely right and we find lots of things I mean you know, there's it's it's worth long discussion about money, nation, because motivation is so mysterious at so many things that motivate us. We get motivated by helping others in writing, books and running merit bones and climbing mountains in inventing new things and helping other people. Motivation is really kind of mysterious and magical in money this is one of those things in money ends up being really curious, like some motivated. Sometimes it's demotivated example we gave before it you coming to my. As for dinner and giving me forty dollars. That would be motivate me. invite you in a second time, so
this does loves to say, but I would say the following: we did a study on about fourteen hundred companies during covered and we asked a question of what was the one but all the things that got companies to really get the most out of their employees and we looked- we looked at their the stock market return of these companies, so we have a lot of lots of companies, questions their employees and we and then we looked at What was the stock market richer and the number one thing was filling appreciated and if you think about a person working- and you say to what extent this person cares, it needs to be reciprocal. We want people to care, we want the workplace to say we care too,
thank you so much and it turns out that debt appreciation was always important even before covered, but during covered when people are working from home. It's extra important. Why? Because people are away in and they have to its tougher to work from home, that's from the office, and we have to overcome all kinds of obstacles. So so things like understanding of the company wants your long term best interest filling appreciated. Having your voice heard. All of those things end up being incredibly important. We ve got eighty five percent of our staff working from home now and they lots zoo meetings where they see each other on screen and all, but the interaction that they have the new work related interactions yo they all work, their planning, a show, their doing research, sir discussing gas, etc, but then that fifteen minute break or that ten
it's an hour where they go off task and ask them each other's kids or are they look at each others?. Pictures or why? they wore that day or they tell stories or they walk down to the corner, to get a cup of coffee. It's there social bonding time that is really really missing and they miss it. I see you every day, but I miss being with you. It's that human contact, and connection and warps our kids not being in school. I think that the positiveness that's dropped out the togetherness, I think all of that is creating a huge developmental gap with the kids that very worried about that they're. Not! evaded there's a whole range of topics here, because because you're absolutely right We are inherently social animals.
and we're missing a locked in some of the things we missed? We don't even understand I'll. Give you one example. It turns out that when you meet People- and you shake your hand, almost everybody after shaking a new persons, hand, moves their hand and said: Is it not directly not immediately, but in the next few minutes You probably have never noticed that you did you do that nobody is filmed, they fill people in almost everybody. Does that and was interesting. is it. You can't put your finger on it, but we can see male something about other people. Would you take things like fear, of course, but we detect lots of things No there's just one example, because it's an example that something we don't know that we're missing. There's no smelling people into right, but this does not a lot of things it harder to complete each other sentences like you and I we we we know a lot of the same topics and if we were in the same room, the nuances of our facial.
Movements and are nodding would allow us to complete sentences together and and let synchrony offer activity the small delay on Zoom is eliminating. That. so we're missing were missing a ton of collaborative social queues, and- and I absolutely agree with you that it has, of course it has motivational effective. Has energy effects button? Kids, it's in credit, the incredibly worse- and there was this all old research in which they took monkeys and do a monkey It was said by a mother monkey with a wife. Fraid. So she was a metal monkey with with milk and then there were other ones it had fur. So there were still
Ethel, but they were, they were covered with fear and the monkeys that were fed by the metal Monkey mother basically became psychopaths. You know we needs touching. We need hugson it's it's. We dont understand all these mechanism of oxytocin and come this in feeling somebody's also hearts beat. But but it's it's. It's part of our nature and with depriving ourselves of that, especially if you're single or, if your kid that this is a tough period, were buried her period, Jim. I know before me, I may I have a virtual audience and instead of a real audience, we'd get people that were real piping and therein our screens, but there they are behind me when I'm
talking to a guest, I always relied on the audience- is kind of a barometer whether I made my point or they were getting the message with me or not with me, because you for minimal encourage yours. You look for eye contact. You look for an indication that they either understand or agree or disagree, but now it's all behind me, and so I feel like I'm. A little bit of an unguarded missile in terms of knowing whether it's time to move on, and so the pacing is off. You don't know, do you move on? Do you not move on in it? It's just very difficult, yeah I'll, love when they teach their some students. What matters right Are they that you and I always look at their much more and pay much more attention to their? We crave that feedback, it it's very natural when you when you go when do lectures in Europe, the more you go north in Europe. The people are most stoic like botanical
the fiddler? They just stand there, don't laugh a joke state, its vagary tough, without that without its feet back an end. So intuitive right, you are you not you're not saying to yourself what is going on here. It's so intuitive that feedback loop. Are we on the same wavelength? How are they know? The is my pace. Good enough. We we coordinated people, think that when you talked to an audience is a talk, but it's a conversation, but it's a conversation with lots of feet, but it is Nonverbal But it's a part of the discussion when you're talking about covered nineteen right now, I M getting p. bull to function in this kind of social distance, in some circumstances, lock down society wearing mask etc. What
the biggest challenges that you're having too manage right now. For me, it's loneliness depression and this feeling of being disengage from their jobs in the world in general. What are you saying? Yes, I see a lot of the same things and you know a lot of issues like what level of abstraction and detail you want to give it, but I think that one day outside of loneliness, I think the second biggest one is that there is no planning, and the third is lack of control. So you know control is so important for resilience. You know, even if you think about pain painted you inside,
turn yourself like by running or doing something just as almost no problem dealing with that paying the terms from the outside, and we don't know how to predict his very, very different and I'm coughing his created lots of lack of control like it's kind of crazy. We don't decide if we can home or not. If our kids will go to school or not, if our job will be open or not so These things are out of control. To can we travel can't we travel? What will they decide in and in because of that in ITALY Let's say you, kids school every day they do some testing. Sometimes they opened up their clothes, it's it's so much is out of control so trying to gain some control. I think, is a really important exercise for these days now
what can we control? That was my next question. What can people exert control over cell so, for example, we can decide To exert control over our bedtime right, it's I know, on any particular night. It's tempting due to watch tv a little later, but control is important exercise I would do exercise. I would do the kind of exercise that they would see improvement on. Like you do plank or pushups, you can see improvement and you ve got a walk. You can't see improvement. We can open Savings accounts in every Friday put some money into that saving count every every time it can make an action that we have control shopping therapy, I'm not recommending shopping therapy, but shopping therapy easily. control these people used to own this heading. Now I on these headphones. That's it that's the worst contrived an expensive way to get controls are not recommending it, but
Getting some control is incredibly important and in terms of loneliness one one question is: should we break you know some of the dead, the rules of conduct this cost here and as a cost there. But if you, if you're alone, if you're alone- and you ve been with company for ten days annually. Somebody asked it hasn't been without the people for ten days. Go ahead then meet right, I'm not saying go crazy risk. But but loneliness is so important such such a big part of our humanity that We need to do things to trying to overcome it and if you don't want to meet somebody intimately. Have a meeting in the park. Does it
cycle of fear that I see happening were people have not seen anybody in the first of seeing somebody seem so frightening that they don't, but, but we have to, we have to get her safely and so on that, but we have together. So I think I think, investing socially I'll. Tell you. One of my tricks is that I try to have a virtual coffee or virtual wine with friends, and I don't have it on my laptop. I have it in a different chair or outside on the sofa, so it feel social cause rose setting that I now this is like work. I'm here eighteen hours a day, I'm in front of the screen working everything about. It reminds me of work, and if I want to be social, I don't want this. This is about getting things done, finished quickly efficiently. You know,
multiple screens? No, no, no, you want to be social. Take your ipad laptop. phone. Whenever I go to a different room, sit on the sofa put your feet up, you need you need to change things up All of those things I've seen a lot of people are having quarantine, fatigue and they're doing what you're talking about instead of quarantining with their spouse or immediate family. They every possibly create pod where they may. Have another family and their cul de sac or we owe grown. Who they know each other's pattern of quarantine, and after that, a certain number of days? They are able to get together and interact safely and they still are responsible when they do it, particularly outside, and things like that seen it make a tremendous difference in break
that fatigue cycle where they have some degree of normalcy while still being responsible. If they do feel some control and not, of course, that let's call diminishing sensitivity like you, don't they go like this, like the first person you meet, makes a huge difference. The second person makes a smaller different, so at least take it. Take some steps. Some steps to meet people- and you know close proximity- is better than safety, but then then make steps, and the thing is that, once you get used to zoom life, everything else looks like effort. I'm also lets me tons of now now put some effort walk to avenge meet somebody for coffee, doo doo,
it's more effort in so many times. We don't do the effort, but in this case the effort will lead to better results. We just don't predict how much we needed to know loneliness is such a bizarre thing it it's. Actually everything that creates depression are things that we can put your finger on. Our eye for low energy was coming from. I dont know exactly, and I can't say it's because I haven't hugged anybody for for eight months. I can't I can't make. The connection will happen is that we have an over overall fatigue depression whatever it is, we Donna words coming from well. We do know not individually, but we know that social connection is a big, is a big part of it, but our intuition doesnt tell us, we dont say I'm feeling a sluggish and slow. It must be the time missing, some social connection. No, we don't know it's coming from, but but but in an end
It is, I don't know what's coming from, but I feel like a sluggish. I don't feel like putting an effort than going with somebody, but that's exactly what we need to do that's why I've always thought about. Depression has been an auto exacerbating disease because it's like, as you become depressed you're more lethargic, it is you're more lethargic. Psychomotor retardation is cut like you're, not gonna, get ahead if you're not swinging, so the fewer swings you take left, or chances you have for getting reinforcement and less real worse. When you get the fewer swings. You take it. If you were swings, you take leave and less reinforcement you get so, It's like yours, circling the drain and ever concentric circles and use your world get smaller and smaller and smaller, and I think over these really exacerbating their four people that are prone to depression, even if its endogenous depression. Even if chemically based. This is like the perfect storm. If you ve got somebody that is prone to depression, now we're stripping
y all their opportunity to have something that can break the cycle of depression by getting them excited or getting them passionate. This is the point. Big storm for those people, which is why we're saying such a spike in lowly, depression, suicide, suicide attempts anxiety. All these things were I gotta, get out of this quarantine at some point and get back to the world, and you know it s. What what's favorite task is that we will see day the immediate results of coverage. We see people who are sick. We see the people who are dying, the long term consequences of mental illness. It would just starting to stop estimating them so we focusing on preventing their meal infection rates, but but that the cost of that.
by quarantine, for example, we dont understand so we're paying with thank financially and playing with depression, but we don't know how much we really paying for this not it's gonna, be years, maybe decades for the full price of this to land, certainly with first second, third grade children letter falling. Developmentally this isn't going to come to full fruition for many to come when their less competitive, with their peer group that didn't for that during those formative years, they're gonna be less competitive in the job market, the other Some research suggests because her less competitive they're going to take higher risk jobs, which means less her health benefits. So there less likely to get good health coverage which year of life are going to be lost later on me. The costs of this is not going to,
be felt for many many years to come and right now it's invisible. So nobody is talking about it. When I about. It falls on deaf ears because, like we can't see it shall be an x ray, can't see broken right now, so we must talk about something else. Yet so we don't see, then we don't estimated correctly and its staff to estimate correctly I'll tell you one, you know what we're gonna making us depressing thing. I'll tell you something positive on education, good, so so it when covered started. I did lots of studies on the education system and seeing what works and what doesn't work and not its terrible, but I saw it spots of light. The thing that they found. It was so inspiring word that for the first time they were kids that studied whatever they want it. So when you had the combination of a principle teacher apparent and kids, they knew what they wanted to study they sort. So there was a there was a kid who loved boats who knows
but the kid love boats and they studied world history through boats great. There were kids who studied python in the history of chess and and and in the thing the thing I size, I saw kids who the moment they had a tunnel me and they could decided in school. We have to admit it's like you know, it's a regulated system and we tell them what to study. In the odds, are there not interested, but when you are our wit in the school. The teacher and forced him to study something that not interested sit. Straying, read your book put your phone away when their home and they want zoom. They can turn you off So all of a sudden, we need to get kids to have intrinsic motivation and I so one thing is, we see those kids are really just amazing, doing amazing stuff, but also hoping that this will be a wake up call for the education system. To start saying you know I don't really care
which part of history, the kids that I wanted to run history, let them pic. I dont care which books take up like this seven thousand books. They could read pick pick fifty I mean I don't. I don't really care, and I am hoping that we will take this advantage that now that we understood how important intrinsic motivation is- and we will do some changes in the same way that we talked about. what place and how important principle. Division is also important for education. Absolutely it is, and we can do it, but the moment everybody was in this goes back to the default de moment. School hasn't changed, I'm fifty three I remember going to first great people said only few years school different. Now, it's just the same. the time to change it, and maybe this is a good wake up, call to two too to break that set up and start something
much much better here. What better time to do it now when the model is shaken up anyway, so yet Miss episode is bought. You buy hp plus in a world full of smart devices shouldn't year printer be smart too. It is with age people ass. printers know when they're running love, so you always get the inky need delivered right when you need it, plus you save up to fifty percent on ink, so you can print whatever you want as much as you want any time you want, that is pretty smart gets experiments evinced in ink when you choose HP, plus conditions apply, visit, HP outcomes lashed smart for details
suppose. So it is brought to you by own up. Every bank says they ve got great mortgage rates, so why are people paying billions of dollars and extra interest every year? Because it's too hard to know what a great deal looks like for? You are unique scenario: own up makes it easy to get the personalized data help you make a smarter home financing decision, learn when a great deal looks like for your mortgage, so you never over pay bills. Your profile today, at o, not dot com, equal housing opportunity and am Ls Idee number one. Four five await o five will, of course, the long term- and let me finish by asking a question it may be answerable other than in the most general of terms. But created, of course, in my mind a real premise about our car negative limitations and people's unwell, doing this, and maybe inability who challenge there intuitions end I do a lot of work with
Confirmation by us with rigour. to raise and other things for that matter. But compromise bias. have you found a way to get people to question their intuitions to question what they hold to be true to at least test it like you did, your nurses they had? The intuition. They had the belief that the ripping off the band AIDS ass was the best way to go, and you found out that that's not the case Patient does not equal intensity in impact, so Have you found a way to get people who challenge what they hold to be true, may or may not be.
should answer? Is yes in a limited way for important decisions, and it goes back to choice architect your phone sample? If we try to help people pick a home and if we say to people go ahead and buy a home, what do people do they go to the bank? They say how much money can I borrow they take that number and they go to the real estate agent and a real estate agent showed them a house that is slightly more pensive, it's what they can afford. They look at ten and they pick one and that's not an environmental challenge, people's assumptions. But if you build a different tool- and you don't start with this- but you start by asking people what makes you have And then you say, if Your mother in law, came to visit every month for three days. Would this make you happy or not? Do you want the guest room or not does looking for parking?
Makes you happy or not to have a simple, effective disorder and therefore the you want different windows? Have you have you lived in a place where you could go in walking distance to a supermarket? So anyway? That's the point is I can tell you more about this, but the point is that if you dont designed the interface decent, the you're not going to get a different results, but I think the trick for us for the people who try to design society in a better way is to design this. Vision AIDS, that will do exactly that right in and if you ask people explicitly to consider what makes him happy then, after considerate and giving it an answer, they are going down the garden. Ass the takes these things into account. You know it's funny in nineteen, sixty nine hours Eighteen years old and I was speaking to real estate convention about sales, and I asked people, what they use as an assumption and approach
people about buying a house and they said well. Women want to see kitchen and bedrooms and ask your what a man want to see they. So I won't see garage backyard then we asked the buyers and it was all over the chart. remember having we use overhead projectors in with Greece bands, a chart. I lay down that said. If you're gonna sell bill, what bill buys you better see things through bills eyes. I was telling them of a woman tells you that, what's important her about a house or trees, you better Not show her the kitchen unless it's gotta, damn tree growin in it, and what They understood that it's what you talking about find out what it is that makes them happy and a home what's important to them and find out. what they think important and then focus on that for those people
sales, whether they showed people what they wanted to see about a house instead of what they presumed they were. to see about. A house is made all the difference in the world, and I guess still comes down to finding out what makes people happy and in meeting that need, need, satisfaction, selling and end the thing about this is that if you don't Start by asking the right questions, you can't you can't you can't get it so so, if you think about choice architecture, the notion of choice architecture is that you get people to thinking and today about the problem. You show them different options. You ask them different questions. Does I'm next? our village, in that, unless you can hear the shooting, but it's not it's shooting for happiness, do just probably wedding
I do here shooting I was wondering if you were that's all you little children, s been echoed by so so so so said. The thing is, if you think about it, do people think, naturally, About the problem in the right way, the answer is no, and the question is: do we design things that could be a piece of paper with some some questions it could be website. It could be an app no matter what it is, but do we design things to bring other consideration into? Might you know? Do we went when people are looking for housing, think about seasonal, effective. These other people, which is an effective, so dont naturally, understandably, have seasonal affected disorder. It dont naturally know that they should look for large windows. People dont understand it is still live, close to a grocery store, they'll each better, because I'll go
four times a week to the grocery store and fresh we're vessels, so we need we need to another. And where people sale and design the tool to support that there is a great answer to the question, though cuz. I know it was a very broad, almost unanswerable question, but Your answer say, and we need to get them to posed the question to themselves differently. What is it that makes me happy? What is it that I really want, and they are asking themselves that question because they are defaulting and too from what their shown instead, what they want, and so they have to do that. Done some patient advocacy work before it. I've tried to get people say instead of going to the doktor and listen to what he or she tells you make a list of what you want to know before you go in there, be prepared. Ask your questions there, working for you ass. Your questions make a list, so you don't freeze up at the time, get it answered and there Sir
This faction of the visit and the relationship of the doktor goes way up because there get mad because a pre planned and get what they want. It made a huge difference that, let me give you a kind of might my metaphor for this and my metaphor compares the physical well to the mental world. So if you think about the visit world. We have made tremendous progress over the last two three hundred years. Think about the chair. You sitting on it probably has a cushion that somebody developed and it has wheels that it has on China's. Somebody has taken, are imperfection, offer physical body and created canals year round it to make it easier for us to sit for a long time. We ve built planes, we ve built their cars build heaters, coolers, I'm just amazing right Superman doesn't need any of those. We need. What about the might wake,
so the mind. We often assume that people are superinduced mind that we can do anything like you know. You don't go to somebody and say be called resistance. Now we build heaters and the same thing is what we need for the mind. We cannot assume that people are perfect. Lets people just figure out how to repay their mortgage or what house to buy or what medical treatment to get or how to sleep better. What we need to do is to create tools like a chair. Chair is a tool that takes are imperfect body and makes its comfortable to sit for a long time. What is the chair for getting us, do not fight with a spouse over money right? What is the date, the equivalent that of helping us to choose the right vacation spots? Then there are the right way to spend our money to maximize happiness. We need those tools and in right now, what kind of assuming that everybody could do it on their own? I that's not true. I'm sure. That's not true. So so we need to develop,
now we're starting to develop them, but there long way to go, that's why you exist right. That's what what gets me excited That's what gets you passionate there talk to you for hours, and I've kept you too long already. This has been Absolutely intriguing! You take these things any break down where people can really understand them and say: here's how I can apply this in my own life and that's just tremendous. I know it's late in your part of the world. So thank you for accommodating us. I hope you and I could talk again very soon. I would love that it was delightful and our mention one other thing. I am trying to think these days about what put unities. We should say yes to in what duties we should say no to you know some of these asking you for favour somebody's, offering you a job
in general. How do we say? Yes, what should we say yes to and what should we say? No to now I dont have good framing around it yet. But if at some point you want to talk about the topic one hour, I have to talk about the topic, because I talk to people about how to manage their relationships like, for example, p I don't know how to get away from a talker that they didn't up up up up up up about every and they don't manage their relationships. They don't know how to say. No. If people asked the boy, our money or their car, or to come over for dinner when they don't want to come over or will you help me move, or will you help me this, or that I mean you have no idea how relevant what you're talking about is to some of the things that I've been focusing on doing. This would be terrific to talk about ok, So, let's, let's think about having in that discussion. That topic, I think it's a really interesting topic and I need to think of
but more about it, but then I'll be happy to to chatter Let's do because I think that in managing peoples, lives that way, and that comes down to managing their time. I do think people don't realize the personal power they have to say no, and then they pass up opportunities that they should say yes to what it comes down to again like what makes you happy, and what does it make you happy an astounding? that you brought that up, because that's really intriguing and something that I get. Ask a lot about by our viewers. When I say what is it you want us to talk about. What he wants to do shows about it's those kind of things, and it starts all the way from family too extended family at a loss to people at work and across the board. So this is very, very relevant love to talk about it. Some way we'll talk about it on the site. never figure out some way to explore today That'd be great everything. That's very good!
or will should have a nice evening and we'll talk very soon, very good. Looking further there.
Transcript generated on 2021-10-10.