« Real Time with Bill Maher

Bonus Bill – Ep. #423

2017-05-01 | 🔗

Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. 

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Now, it's time for real time to point out your attempt to listen and behind the scenes to the real time monologue. Jokes, America didn't hear driving Bryn Mawr happy because you're you're, realising that you will never again have to live through Donald
The first one hundred days there I am very aware that its four hundred Denmark, just from the Nazis in the wall and my panic rule- I do not have a panic. I am building a bomb shelter which He's impeached can be converted to a wine cellar, so you, but a hundred days. It's not what you think is going from the most respected country in the world to the country that goes to work every morning when its fly open. If you want to go by the numbers to the first hundred days, he signed twenty three executive order. Ceasefire. Fifty nine time a hawk missiles played nineteen rounds of golf.
Three hundred and forty seven cans of final that hairspray. He said, I'm not making this a tweet it. He said he's gotten tweeted, gotten more done than any other president got way more twitter followers than Abe Lincoln Mental Illness is sad, ladies and gentlemen, and we become used to what he was talking yesterday about the speech you gave to Congress a couple of months ago. I guess it was like the state of the union,
lots of people will at all. He became president that date. Fuck. You here is what from said the other day about that's what you said. A lot of people said it was the single best speech ever made in that chamber. Yes, a lot of people, especially this one guy. You keep staring at me in the mirror
but my my favorite quote: maybe the quarter of the year, a senior Whitehouse worker, a, was talking a politico and said I kind of poor poor, the experience stuff when I first got here, but this shit is hard. Somebody really said that Trump says when he finds out who says that he's gonna get rid of that person and replace them with genuine Kirshner, always just been appointed a new secretary of hard shit yet and then, of course, another thing they found out was hard. I guess it must have been their tax plan. He released his tax split attack plan, a dawdled, a dollar sign, a smiley face on a napkin.
Roasted Et Al taken from here. You'll. Never guess who is one of the biggest beneficiaries of this tax, Black Donald indebted. Yet we can and gave it away when the taxpayer, in calls for eliminating the import tax on me,
but our brides. So that was that I need a better, even pretend to pay for it. It's a giant tax god for all the rich people. Exports are calling it voodoo economic. You know, that's where you give doing tax cuts to the rich people and then think I'll I'll make it back when they provide economic growth. Just like when you give your dog a hot dog, he shares it with the other dog and finally just to get away from drug for one minute. This was in the news today, Bill clause be says he is working on new material and he's going to be resuming his career at right.
He's gonna go back into the smaller clubs is always been his dream to make the upright citizens brigade horizontal. Thank you very much. Only when the sounds of real time, my every Friday night watchman For more information on to HBO dot com.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-24.