I am so excited to welcome my friend and my mentor, Ed Mylett, to the podcast today. He is one of the most dynamic and exciting speakers in this space and I am so excited to share this episode with you. Ed and I talk about how our dreams can show up in a way that we don't recognize and how to be present and grateful through all the parts of your day.
Follow him at @edmylett
Or at his website, EdMylett.com
If you loved this episode, you'll also love my two live monthly classes. Life coaching, for those looking to improve in their relationships, health, and personal life, and business coaching, for growing a revenue base, finding new clients, and marketing effectively. Find out more about the coaching community and how you can be a part of it ---> thehollisco.com/coaching
My new book Girl, Stop Apologizing is available now! It contains some of the most tactical and detailed information I’ve ever given, all in the hopes of inspiring you to stop making excuses and follow the dream that sets you on fire. Get it right here —> amzn.to/2RxC6eY
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys, it's reach our houses, and I'm here is my friend. Trent Shelton was a rigid.
I live in the dream, man
You tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now we're going
because we're launching my new package straight up and I'm supermax seller- add if you guys you're, not already familiar attract he.
As millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah.
Are you straight to? The point is really I can put it
from the heart and break it. Do those native mindsets breakin through of withholding you back in Mostar. We have
people's lives for love that? So
you guys, want here more you're, already listening on a podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go, let's go.
One of the cruellest things that I get to see as part of my job is the manifestation of the product or products that I dreamed up and created and figured out how to do like. So many of you as a business owner, you get these ideas in your head and it is incredible to get to watch them come to fruition and I started dreaming about one of our most popular products. The start today journal. I served dreaming about this a couple of years ago. I had been doing this daily practice based on several different people. I had heard about several different things in a kind of put them together into one daily practice, which was every single day. I wrote down the dreams I had for my life, but I wrote them as if they had already happened. There's something really powerful about claiming a goal as if it's already done, and I wrote down every day- and it was how I set my intentions and then I would post about it on social, and so many people are like what are you doing? What is that? Where do I get that journal and I was like eyes: it's not a journal, it's just a notebook, I'm just riding down the same thing every single day, but what I think is interesting, as business owners or creators is often times. In fact, most of the time your audience will tell you what it wants from you and I kept pushing it off because I was like you guys. This is not a big deal, but it was, and people kept asking for, and I finally just thought what if I turn this into a product and I started to dream and plan, and I literally taped pictures to the wall of my office, of what I dreamed that my journey
look like in the intention behind it and I wanted the covers to be really pretty, and I wanted it to be something that you could do once a quarter and then, as you completed, each journal you'd have a stack of this evidence of how intentional you were about your life and we figured it out, and I mean you know some times we messed up on the shipping and sometimes we rest up on the interior, but we failed our way to where we are today, which is the start today journal in the hands of hundreds of thousands of people. So incredible such a blessing for me to be able to go on Instagram and see hashtag start today journal and see people all over the world using this practice as a way to aim in the direction of their dreams. So if you are not familiar- and you want to check it out, you can go over to the Hollis code, dot com forward, slash shop and find out all about my favorite practice turned my favorite product and, if you're not in the market, to buy remember that episode. Seventy two of this podcast gives you the exact step by step, so that you can do it and whatever
Look you have laying around for free you not to buy a product, but you should be doing this daily practice. It will literally literally change your life
guys. I am so excited to welcome my friend and my mentor, Ed, my let to today's podcast. You got
you have to know who he is right. You you ve got to follow him on Instagram you ve gotta be listening to has podcast. I share his episodes all the time. I think
he is one of my favorite tee
There is in this space- and I am so-
excited to share this episode with you, because its fire,
literally- I am so used to listening to him. Do podcast, while, while I'm in my car and I'm like a fool,
when a church service, I'm like yes, preach, like they're gonna, have to edit this episode so hard, because I could not stop like a man. Yes say it say those words you guys this is fire.
Get ready to have your hearts lit up with today's episode of their eyes.
cast I Rachel Hollis and I've built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the free information I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week I'll be sharing tangible and tactical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This is the rice podcast efforts. I can't believe that you ve never been on a pod cast before valueless kind of crazy fills kind of crazy, especially since I get to be real life friends with you in and get your real life mentorship, and I'm so excited that
the audience will get to hear from you. I'm
So there are two hearing from you, but I get here for me and my life on on the right path cast while I'm blast- and you know that you also reciprocate that measuring with me just like we're doing before we would live here. So I proceed on great
grateful to be here for sure? So I think that
so many of us follow you I'm in and if you're, not listening to its podcasting unifying on Instagram is one of my favorite, my fear, people on social media. I actually get to look up to and absorbed your wisdom
but when I was realising, as I was prepping for this conversation, is I
Please don't know your business journey,
MIKE. I only know you as end my lad, like my teacher, my mentor, my friend this person, who gives his wisdom and chairs
I really dont know about your your sorry with your business. So I would love to hear that personally, I am sure the audience loved here. It is well served
like most dreams, my they don't show up. Looking like what you think they would. You know
most of the great things in her life didn't show up kind of exactly the way we thought they would look or be yet their blessings right
What a true from my business life do.
My real business journey started right. When baseball at college baseball ended. I had an injury.
I did my career.
And the short version was, I was really down. I was back at home. Lift my tax and say same. I grew up in same teddy. Bear same verifies the poster on the Wall debates made, but it's true,
and I was on employee for about a year
dad came home. I doubted just got sober from an amiable. Came almost got you a job tomorrow morning
You need to show up at Mckinley Home for boys in San Dimas. I'm like what in the world is that, because I have no idea what you're going so I'm tired of paying all your bills
item shown up there the next morning at eight, a m for the job. Maybe my let me go what job I have no idea. We go back,
inform them about the leader like come back. When you know the job or at least use hiring you when I go, you know what the guy's name is TIM.
My dad said his name is TIM
They go there's a lot of times here.
and I go well. I think, he's an alcoholic because he was not a drug Jan gotta eat
little did. I know that was my number in baseball. Ironically, tea was number eight
But little did I know in about five minutes from that sentence to when I walk through that door. My whole existence on earth would change, and my
enters into business, wasn't business, it was. It was children,
and I walked through the door and Mckinley an orphanage
the boys there it's all boys, it's a campus group home there, all wards according to their when I say orphanage, their parents are either dead, incarcerated or had been molesting them,
and my boys were all eight to ten year old boys, and I have
the opinion that if everything in your life happens for you not to you, you- and I both say that regularly. But it's true
if you could figure that out and current time be a lot happier than having to wait for hindsight.
And I walked through this door and getting ready for schoolers these ten precious boys there and they all stop right. When I walk in and stared at me, and
You have these eyes to Rachel interesting
little boys have the same eyes as me.
Anybody grew up with any dysfunction when they child any type whatsoever. Our eyes it just different.
we just want to be loved and cared for and believed in and that
These boys had- and I connected with their case, to lead in the same kind of dysfunction, but I knew what it was like to rob with anxiety and stress in your house with my dad's drinking and
I fell in love with these boys. I'd I'd be there when they got home from school, ready for school hollowing Christmas day had opened the presence with them. Their birthdays
I fell in love. All these boys want was somewhat of love and believe in care about him. It teach him out.
from that moment killed.
Today, that's what I've been doing with my life,
it's all I've ever done. I do with adults now and that while I worked there Rachel, I fell in love with this. Like all
I like helping people goes before that everything was about me and baseball and meet becoming somebody get rich and famous
I went well,
It is like helping people say
I got recruited into a financial company. When I work there,
was part time,
and I wanted to business really weird. I ain't going like a kind of a normal young person would like a big dreamer. Material goals are a huge amount of even goals
I wanted to like serve people like help people
and I ended up stand, make it six bucks an hour Mckinley when I was making over a hundred thousand a year in my part time business, because it didn't want leave my boys, yeah and then eventually adjust dawned on me. I could go help the parents of children and make a difference that way, and so I transition into the financial business,
in my maid twenties
out of that group home, and here we are today, it's like to other businesses from coaching people too. You know,
start up businesses, an angel, investing in all these other things that I now do, but it started it Mckinley home for boys and then that went into the financial position, think credit
or can you so tell me what that trend?
mission is like. I know my own journey in terms of you know being an honor.
Nor in kind of building. My name up in that way and then getting invited to speak, because I had some knowledge on the topic in this kind of
changing that into what I do today is was where's that a similar journey for you exactly got. There was always on my life and I get the work and I didn't know it, but in college I wanted the easiest major such terrible at mass, terrible math.
He's got a struggling, our basic okochee. As you know, you have a deep voice. There's a broadcasting major! I want you're kidding.
So I ve got a baseball biarmia sphere to be broadcast took I took a broadcasting Muslim, I'm college major was communications and
when I got over the financial services business first up. I was on such an interview when I'd have to get up Rachel and talk in front of the ten boys. All at once
I would be shaken and could never put sentences together in front of ten year olds.
never mind the first time they put me up and for the whole staff at Mckinley I mean
there wasn't a puddle on the floor when I was done, it's a miracle right, like our budgets,
but I did have this gonna boys and so in the financial business I started to get up and get asked a teach. What I was doing and all the sudden
They see. Also these larger companies are like hey.
was pretty good. Would you can talk to our company,
Why would you want me, but I'd come in? I, then they go hey host our strategic planning conference, a neighbour for me to another one, and then Tony Robin saw me speak and all of a sudden
well. I hate this sort of a gifted newness of yours. You have a lot to say you pretty good at saying it.
And it's sort of just more. If those like this,
I wasn't ready for, but I was willing to step into an
that's been sort of up. I think I've learned the guest on my show. Almost none of us have had any real success if something were completely equipped prepared, but we had the courage to
step into an unknown space with a lack of preparedness that most people need a high
threshold there they they just are getting ready to get ready all their life, and I for somebody to speaking him,
all the sudden that led the one on one coaching with these two, which led the athletes and entertainers in it
petitions and then
nonsense. Rachel horse. Is that why you know, as you are talking, I was thinking about the coaching piece of how you got into being there.
I mean you're you're a mentor for millions of people through the pod Cason through your social and then I know there are so many people who look to you for that, one on one coaching or that mentorship in real life, and I I got to me ed furthest.
here, say I got me, add on the bone were
when I was in one of the hardest and most confusing times of my adult life, which was on the other side of massive
that that might be one of the hardest times in your life, but girl wash your face had come out and it had Kim and a lot of you gonna realises the book
had Kim and a lot of you gonna realises the book and come out, and it did ok
liking. It was then a runaway success it in and then
all of the sudden. It was like this snowball and it just kept growing,
going and growing and the more it grew the more out of control. I felt because I was someone who had
pursued goals and dreams. My whole life and I always felt, like you, know, pushy
that that, like Sisyphus like pushing the boulder up the hill and then all of a sudden, it's out of my control,
and I had been praying for my sake, God. I need someone to talk to please
please I need I need someone. I don't know who to talk to about there's. No one of my family can council me on this, and then I must I started with the podcast
social media and somehow you and I got connected and as such, an incredible friend even to people,
It's no use like let loose. Let's get on the phone
and I think we ve talked for two hours
and I had one of the reasons was a mad you're being very humble sweated,
one of the reasons why I just got shows by the way, all over and not get any while I love a man, happens
and I do mean interrupt you, but I must say this one of the reasons why I was so enamored with you and so blown away by your work and your speech.
And your ability to communicate it and who you were
and I just wanted to offer any tiny bit of help. I could somebody that I believe is changing the world.
And I believe you are doing that Rachel schedules again, I'm not kidding. I love there and
Why it wasn't just that? I'm a nice guy, although I appreciate that it was that I see greatness in you and every
you keep proving right and a whole bunch of other people right so that that was sort of what it was all that selfish on my part, and I wanted to just be a part of anything I could do to help you change the world years and that has so kind and ivory through an take that into account
I want it. The reason I'm so sorry because I wanted listeners to understand the kind of man that you are and that
sat on the phone with a stranger for two hours and counselled me an co,
me and gave me a therapy session and I
member you, you said to me: you know it so
important in life that you always have p
who are further along down the road. Then you are so that they can look back and tell you you're safe,
and I mean I'd like that that member I remember getting off the both you and going into Dave and just like bursting out in tears,
because it was an it was such an answer to prayer like I just so badly needed someone to talk to, and you were that person from
and I know you- I know that you are that person for so many people
all in the work that you're doing today, because now you ve you ve made this shift from
those one on ones you doing coaching with this year's now you're doing on this massive scale, with the pod cast in the work that you do on social cohesion,
that transition like. How did you hadn't that come to be here,
it's interesting, because people people ask me a lot of how did you in the work you? Unlike some of these athletes, it was injured.
I was seeking those identities, those associations you were talking about for myself, and so
and I'm not a name dropping saying just part of life I met like so that's just alone, very young and feel night.
Tony Robards Emmett these people, young in my life and
went to them,
hoping to build friendships and those association to topple people further down the road and what would
put in a lot of those occasions. Would they also wanted help?
they wanted? What I could bring to the table-
turn my mentor into friends and that's it
as for the influence. All of us that have children their school
features of their men. Tourism will certainly have an influence over their life. If you look back before five teachers that really influenced you, but
the pair. We all know that put the people that we know most influence. Our children is who they're around every day, which is their friends, and so I wouldn't
people that are to you to try to turn some of your mentors eventually
to friends and the way they become friends as its reciprocal. You helped them and they help you and you have more to bring to the table weather
your love or your belief for your concern or your prayer,
then you might think you have over somebody who's further down the road than you you've done that for me, rachel- and you know that, right before we're on, I was asking your advice about something, and so it's a reciprocal thing.
I'm not your mentor, even though I know that you count me as one often it
mention. Not your book were friends and so you're, my mentor and friend as well. The way it transition of the quicker answer, then is,
I got encouraged by enough of them.
as I was doing it like hey there's this social media thing and you know, you're
stage your life, were, we ve all been really good idea. We helped you go pretty far. I built a pretty good amount of wealth
forget about say God. Why don't you take it?
a couple of employee rights has been one of em, but several-
I'm just that he wanted. She spent the next after your life really servan mankind, woman guide people guide,
and I was very introverted, very shy, loved my privacy, but I just
I called the do it and its home. For me to be honest with
My heart feels like I'm in the right place. I don't always know exactly words, gonna go or what is going on,
like, but it move,
because I wanted to serve people. I didn't want to just help. Successful people become happier and more successful
I wanted to help people who had big dreams in their life haven't
ensure that maybe they couldn't get access to otherwise in and help all people
not just high? I did it.
People not just achievers already, but someone exactly the same night. I wanna do some great for my children. I want my stuff.
to be proud of me. I want to see my parents proud of me. I don't know where to go. I don't know how to change my confidence. I don't know how to make a transformation. I don't want to start a business. Would you help me and that's been
the great honour and I'm not saying this- to be a corner,
like that, like the most joy I've ever had is by helping average people
Average situations do extraordinary things. It's been wonderful
that's how it happened and appealing for me to do it
hey all our next women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laugh until we be our pans and we talked about how things are we cry and we find community and we create the road map to changing our lives or businesses or whatever it is that you're working on? If you want to find out more your curious, what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instrument and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at: let's rise, dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto. On March this through the seventh that's Toronto March, there, through the seventh check out all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise this is the thing. Yes, a one of my favorite
things that you at you, you create so much contact. Your team is so incredible. You guys do all sorts of great stuff, but one of my favorite
things and I was hung you there's a new nice and you my voice. Memos. Every time is, I love. It does
you one on one teaching on the podcast. It's my favorite episode. I think that
a lot of people who do podcast and very few people who teach anymore
cast, and so, when someone does it's my favorite thing, you want a very
people I literally I'm taking notes what are some of the things that youth
like your audience over, let's say the last six months that those episodes or those topics like you, ve, been surprised by how much people have responded to the
these specific things like I want you to tell me. You're is an ominous how you the ones that I love the most I some of them at a really resonated. Give one called blissful dissatisfaction
essentially what I was teaching about. One is that for most people in their life, they conflate happiness and satisfactorily confused, and I think that the same thing, and so many
people do in their life is they delay their happiness until a future destination.
I'll, be happy when I
get this relationship or there
when my body is a certain way or when I have a certain amount of money or when I get the house or when I find my group then allow myself to be happy. They delay happiness until there think they need to be satisfied and
but that is you're gonna bring you with you to those places in you, and I both have a whole bunch of friends who have got into those destinations
still unhappy at the river.
The reverse of that is achievers. Have this flawed mindset were they think? Well, if I really enjoy this right now, I'm gonna lose my drive
so I got a delay, my joy, because I want to lose my edge. I'm lose my ambition, that's completely false. It seems logical, but its false
The matter is, if you dont celebrate your winds down, enjoy it
The time your brain is less and less dopamine. Every time it happens. Your brain eventually goes. I do want to do this anymore, are even enjoy it. When we win out even enjoy the success, and so you must celebrate your wings, you must give yourself a gift of happiness now in order
continued you achieve. So I live what I call blissfully dissatisfied, meaning I'm a happy man but are not satisfied
There's an income grew at sea between what I know incapable of and what I'm currently achieving and that,
steel between those two things is really healthy decide
faction is also unhappiness is horrible,
yeah I've wanted to learn live with bliss as I am dissatisfied,
What does it look like for you today?
to celebrate the winds of religion,
the question and makes a because the reason made the programme is something I had struggled with before, but directly for the latter reason. Thinking ass, I really enjoy this sucker. If I go to Ireland with my husband, I would always all my dry right. It's not true. So what it looks like for me today is in what I've done better job of
a better job of.
Give him myself a little credit just hard for you to say the sentence right now, two years, why hesitated yeah, but I get myself a little credit and for me because I'm a person of faith and like I think, is quite pleased- god yeah, you know, and
I really really take time now to be present.
And so enjoyment. For me, I'm always happier when I am where I am meaning
I've been the moment. We do.
get a conference that I spoke well or we just had a conference call like this. The more
President. I am the happier I am and the less
the more I project into the future or when I'm with my children, I'm thinking about work or one I'm at work. I feel guilty cause, I'm not with my children,
Those are the moments rifle the least happy, and so I ve learned she's being present in the moment of being grateful for the moment.
in times of happiness. In the moment it seems
is that with social media and all
less often, I think, even particularly for women. It's more.
this way, but it's four men as well. We just
I feel like we're enough weight
you know I'm not enough. I am not a good enough mother, I don't look like. I should look, I'm not making the money. I should work on making the money I should now. I dont see my children like so and so does, and that would lead me to maybe one other when I put up today on comparison which
comparison- and I know you talk about this too- is the thing
of joy yeah, it's the thief,
but there's an insidious comparison. It's easy. The easy teaching is talk about yourself to another woman or man. Don't compare your fight asked someone else. That's that's easy.
The comparison is insidious is.
comparison. We actually do with ourselves. We can!
there are current relationship to a previous one where we compare,
the current status of our relationship to another
time in it. Why
isn't it like, it wasn't weak number five, because it's not weak number. Five in the more you compare it to them. The more you drowning yourself unhappiness
Working very near
dear old body with your seventeen year old body, yeah work, and so
it's easy. I shouldn't compared with other people, but what about with yourself
that's the one they heard the most is comparing you know that
you give Rachel to the best one you ve ever give it
creates unhappy, is maybe the one you did was just wonderful as it was
yeah, maybe that will guide you have a job. That's that those are there's a whole bunch of one more just as a gift, just gift, but you know I mistake,
yes, I'm a big believer. That's why I told you to operate
it all the time we were hanging around, I
one called unlocking your success code. Where I talk a lot about your identity, your identity is the belief, concepts, values things you believed to be most true about you,
and that identity in your life before being real here is like a
mistake, I'm looking at one right now sitting on the watch that seventy four degrees in the Roman right now
That's that's the temperature for your entire life, your identity and you're, never long term going to exceed that thermostat setting for who you believe you you are
but you're worth,
it so happens in life? Is we start to get our results going and they get a head of who? We really believe our identity is, and we do it
anxious. We get scared, we get uncomfortable and then what we do unconsciously sabotage the cooler life right back down to believe what we we think were worth
what end it happens over and over a thermostat setting on our lives if everyone listening with this had this happen
you ve been in a relation, is going great.
all. The sudden is not you cool it back down or your finances are getting going and then they're back to where they were or your body and its back to where it was because if you don't change that thermostat setting, if you don't work on you, your identity,
all the external things right in your life? You
cool that sucker back down to your temperature that you believe your worth. Just like this room of open the door,
when a bunch of cold air blows in here forty degrees of air. You know what happens to the heater kicks on in the room regulator. Seventy four! It's not the external conditions that dictate the caliber of our life. Is
dad gum, thermostat, steady,
what it is now and if we can change that, we change our whole existence on earth and you have multiple settings
you have a face: a thermostat, a financial one of physical one, a relationship one himself
the way we adjust it is we powerfully associate with people who live at fire temperatures in those areas yeahs so that better like when I let you have a car, but now you actually get to hear meteor along with
I'm actually talking too much
no! No, no, no you're, perfect, you're, perfect, keep going so those bowser.
Those are things that I teach that I think.
You know to some extent, really resonate with all people.
I just try to do something. We can't we're all this comes from just like for you why I love you.
I've had to learn these things because I was so bad apple yeah,
but if you meet someone who really things like they get their act together, mere you, let's say right near more vulnerable about this than I am, but I'm pretty vulnerable as a man about it.
I had to learn these skills to function as a human.
And what happened was the more I started to become more of a functioning human, the more I got addicted to developing me and improving me, and I wanted to learn more insights and where you- and I are, I think, maybe the two most unique people in the space is that you and I converge was why I love you weak.
verge of faith and science together, like we believe in the power of the brave.
We also know that there is a higher purpose, a higher for me, ass Jesus Christ governing my wife who saved me right. So for me, in a twenty five year, I both ugly.
I know where, if you, if you ask me, why are you really successful if I'm being
lately, honest, ok
the fact of the matter, is many many times in my life. My lord just pick me up and carried me when I was there and I was
from about it, a prayerful about
same time. I've done a lot of dead gum, work on myself.
Part of my identity comes from that. I know I come from something greater than just what you see with me
Support him identity, their faith, and so
I know that's true with you to answer for me. That's just it did
Wonderful tat people can sometimes in the self help space. I think the discard give a little bit goofy for me
yeah. It becomes all about self right there and that's a formula for misery yeah.
I was thinking as I said this today last week as we are preparing for a conference next week, and I told you before you start-
recording, there's a fair amount of
anxiety that comes into that comes carrying that's a lot of people coming from all over the world. That's it that's a lot and I told them. Last week I kept thinking
This idea that I cannot be afraid of this thing, but I'm about to go, do because
I have fear about what I'm about to go. Do it.
plying that I am in charge of what I'm about to go. Do
I have to believe that this is something that God gave me. This is an opportunity that I have been given and he who started a good work and you shall see it
and so I have absolute faith that God brought me to this place than I can't have fear walking into it, because this was
party plans for me rise. All I can do is just show up and do my absolute best play full out.
my whole heart in but
having that idea that something bigger than me put me here
something bigger than you put you here than it can't it's not
on you to make sure
everything goes perfectly
I love I was at a conference of all men. The sort of irreversible
what you're doing it all
These guys, you know hey you're in the German. You know you know the ridiculous automating system in your brain and you gonna take them all these things like yeah. I do.
maybe like so what's the number one thing and, unlike
well you know the truth, I'm kind of weak and the Lord gives me comfort. Man like I just get comfort.
when at every meeting, sounds easy, but it is go Lord. This is all you brother, you guys
love the parable of the soul in the Bible, and I love people of all faiths you and I both do yarn and
but the pebbles or so wonderful, because- and I was scared-
Europe is a terrible about by the concept. Is that
you're planting the seed. You must do the sea planting of Europe,
see planning he can provide a harvest.
So I'm faithful that if I just plant the seeds like you, could you prepare for that meeting Rachel you get everything you got. You love those women you prepare for them. You want to serve him. You want to make a difference. He's gonna, provide
an abundant harvests in that meeting for all of the Ladys there that are ready for it
are they everything I do. I just right. You remind myself of both those things, Kenneth
We talk a lot about. I want to talk about the first conversation that we had on the phone. You said something
that day that I've, a shared when I came in here,
broadcasting and I've talked about many times, and I think it's really interesting, because I'm getting a question
a lot more now that I've never gotten and that's about
The idea of the fear of success and that day, when we're done
king, on the reason that I became obsessed with you as I was listening to you, do a podcast you're doing an interview and you were telling a story.
About a year and you'll, tell this better
I is but the idea of like people who
Let's say you ve, council, a lot of sport like athletes- and you said the idea of like if, if an athlete
Then too, let's say well,
they come into this. I'm success in their career that they act like it. They have success at something.
and they don't have someone in their life whose like further along who, like it, they're still hanging out with that crew
You know that story that you tell you yeah. We
hell that idea than any sort of it? You have
this year, success because you don't have anything bigger than the current vision. That's in your life, you don't have any one sort of like helping. You see that vision will address it's a huge there.
So everyone from an athlete too
Anybody that I I talk to work with there's this
fear of success. Is it's the fear of the unknown in soap?
because the reason you have an unknown bomb cap
did he about is because you don't have somebody in your life who
in the fight for you in
for many of these athletes, what happens if they make a bunch of money and is an all athletes with a lot of the ones? And I worked with a bunch of money
their associations, are still the exact same people that they grew up with
that thermostat setting for the money is set by those people, the temperatures actually not always set by you it set by the people around you
that's. Why you're all these things are. First of all, when you are the five people, you hang around well. Why? Because they alter your thoughts,
That said it in
for me. I'm always- and I encourage you this too. If the next
It's the next vision, if you,
catch your dream, you're a big trouble. Yeah was why was breaking out when we first met. I caught the dream and I was like this. I thought that I was
working on a lifelong dream.
And all of a sudden, I'm thirty, five and a god
and now I don't know who I am. I dunno what my identity, if I'm not chasing down this massive dream, I don't even know what that makes me
Yeah, I'm blessed that right now I have an Nda on the sum I can be careful, but I I am like I forgot we're alone.
welcome to you, I'm blasted. I am working with a very, very, very, very, very significant political figure former one and this purse
is really struggling because, ok, you were,
let's just say a senator or the President of the United States as pretty higher bright broke, you get it
what the heck is next year. I in that could be
Someone listen, you goes. I got the promotion,
I got two six figures. I got it a hundred.
forty five pounds I got to whatever waistline I wanted. I got to the dream man in my life and what happens is its
scariest zone of life. If act
We are happier state in life. Everybody do
pursuing something you're, not in possession of then,
possessed something and there's nothing to go, get it's actually death of your spirit. It always
up at upon all of us to have people around us that help us what I just called vision, stretch, stretcher, vision, dream,
imagine consider the possibilities. These are all things
the powerful imagination, a powerful dream state, you ve,
people around you and it's
important if we want to support your craziness,
what your mutinous, who don't,
you're nuts right like I dont, want realistic people around me all the time. I was condemned crazy right and written
meant remember this we're people rule the world
yeah, you can change the damn world. Oprah win free,
What does she was realistic right this
the yolks of abuse as a child molesters a job not in perfect physical condition, african american women, especially at the time she came up like that.
So much is that. Are you crazy you? But there was someone somewhere going? No girl, you got this. You could do it.
possible for you and the reason I admire her so much.
I watch her like I could tell when she gave a show up
She had all magazine right, but I could tell watching her about window. She wasn't in full strike. You know like what is really next, but I've watched her find it again and so
in our life is always important to have the next one, the next peoples they were wins enough enough,
It's the most offensive thing. My family says to me over my shoulder my children up, but I'm going. I bet you know you got your family law, hey where's enough enough.
I don't like yams enough helping people when's enough contribution, when's enough spiritual growth. When's enough,
uncovering of new possibilities and ideas, wit when's enough memories, wins enough magic moments. Never
Never write like I dont want that there isn't enough
if there was Lord would take me now if you think
what is interesting, but it all of our faith on some level there's even somewhere we're going after this lie yeah. So
like, if you think it through death, is having nothing next.
I'm in love with the chase. I'm in love with a journey like I bet Rachel Hall is on this journey. I I did the talk to all the people who follow her today on this journey, what a blessing, what if I would have stopped out drivers worth a hundred million or two hundred metres just about money or I go now. I just want to really help super famous people, as their famous rightly, if I just stopped
and that's why. I always tell you, I told you before the call your
so important in the world, and I know you don't love hearing that, but, like you're so important in the world, you
an obligation Rachel to keep growing. You have an obligation, a duty, a responsibility too
Can to see the next step the next place, the next
I find myself for you, even though we don't talk all the time it I'm not kidding you when I tell you this up again. I know everyone listening to me and you talk with each other here, but what I find myself in prayer,
sometimes not all the time, but sometimes about you,
but you have more clarity of where you're going, but you
you see the next steps in front of you that your dream bigger, I do it for myself. I do other people I put. It is ironic, I must tell you you come up a lot.
and I think about someone who's driving on the car. I'm now hope she's August, I hope she's
there with the next step. I hope she doesn't believe all the press clippings right now do it. You know I mean later, and I know you don't
now. I love that ILO and by the way I feel those prayers Gaza.
days, like you said that you know you someone's gonna care
yo you. You can't do this on your own
that was so so powerful for me, the first time we talked was
I always Philip when you're you're searching searching when you're on a journey like that were for four months
once in. What's he answer what the answer, and then someone says it
the simplest thing in the world dream a bigger dream.
dream a beggar dream- and I was thinking about this, as you were talking about people thinking like you,
We have this if only I made that fully got that promotion, something that I think
and so a lot of women in my community is they think, if only I could get married,
if only we could buy a house if only we had and they keep
getting those things, but even
They're getting those things they care, like you said they can't be present where they are. They can't have the gratitude and appreciation for what they ve been given and that moment and their content,
Lee and oh I gotta do something else. I gotta go get the next.
of this idea that we can be grateful and appreciative of our blessings today, while still wanting something more for tomorrow,.
I'll tell you something funny about that. My wife is crazy.
And I met my wife when I was five and she was four and we're Highschool sweethearts him
so I love my wife
I also know there's little crazy.
Where I got this from I'll, tell you the whole blissful dissatisfaction think came up your lap
so it's somewhere around about three years ago, when she
start making really great food and we would either for dinner. You I've got two kids and we would be a dinner and
embarrassing a day what you'll love it. So she would
just started like almost certain about aged forty five. This habit starts all of a sudden and she
eight the food and she's biting like some she's made like was on your supper and all of a sudden we're talking at the dinner- and I heard her next to me,
moaning with pleasure about how good right it's it's
and so am I? What the hell are you doing it for the kids like stop this embarrassing right
we're gonna, restaurants and she's, pretty obviously
a pretty woman.
We'll do in restaurants without people aware like it like a big bake,
you're doing it out loud just so. You know right at the start, we get home one night from my birthday party and she done at it at a dinner with a couple guys extra table and they were enjoying.
but without weighing them idea at all,
I hate the footwear to do it. You know married couple might do on a birthday and I'm like eight stay right. There
stairs she had done it with a stake at this dinner. She like what are you doing on the chemical grab estate of fraud that in his bed, because you ve never mind- was waiting for her life
but as I'm here, I'm joking she's laughing. She goes back.
because it's so good when I let myself enjoy it like that, I want to take another bite. Our man work
it's so good. When I let myself enjoy it like that, I nuts take another bite.
There's something pleasurable. If you really enjoy it does not make you might wanna take another by now it mechanically
dawned on me all of us, if we bite into something pleasurable
and we really enjoy. It does not make you might wanna take another by now. It may take another by so if you want to enjoy, if you wanna take another bite out of your life, enjoy the current one.
Yeah, the current one you'll want to take the next bite, but of your constantly delay. No, I can enjoy this.
that's when you lose your hunger.
That's when you lose it it so,
Formula is enjoy. Every bite.
as I said, but beautiful and for me this achiever kind, go, go, go, guy alike,
I need to do that.
I'm always onto the next day. I invite all the time
Just learned at this moment is mine. It's never coming back again and I've got it
present and when I present I'm happy in so I stopped
However, I would just advise all the Ladys. You don't need a project into the future. All the time just enjoy the moment. It's yours
gave it to you, enjoy it celebrated I'll, make you want the next one even more.
I want to talk about the you did a podcast and I'm so mad at my notebook is in the other room. So I can't reference. I took like four pages of notes off this podcast. Where were you were taught
and I said you like us: they your voice over that day and attacks that they had told you. I was like at church with you in the car where you were talking about this idea of, and I dont remember the actual title, but it was like when people want to set out too
achieve a goal, but they get so bogged down almost like by India
I suggest you dont know how to lend. You were like you
Ass. You have to make a decision. You have to go all in. You have to take massive action like stop
hemming in hiring about all the things that are wrong with this situation and do something to remedy them.
Guess I'm talking about.
And I just thought it was again- it's like this wisdom that
You shouldn't know. We should know that by
You hear someone break it down for you in that way with super power. For me, even just such that there are
go through as a company. It's like almost the more cooks again, the kitchen. You have more help, but then it almost makes it more.
confusing, and that one was so clarity
Invoking for me, we should talk about that idea. A little bit like you. I just a tie. Yeah it's! Well, it's a let's allowing feared it just take your life,
where's he said earlier, so this is,
I think that by the way, when I say my wife's crazy, I say that as a man who doors and loves her. Oh my gosh, I and I have gotten to hang out that them together and you never saw my love there in theirs. There's definitely mutual craziness due to. But having said that, this is the
Things were you're constantly hemming in hiding and not deciding and in the end, not really sure, and it's not ready and all that just so you know
Well born that way. You ve learned it.
Children. Not that way at all your children.
And you, when you were, a child are constantly jumping in trying things that are not ready for.
It's a beautiful part of life and and
and we learn this overtime from fears and sometimes records. Don't do that don't take tat stood up and we were over time
we start to Hamley Hall and become indecisive if you just,
if you have children-
Just for a second give yourself a gift and think about how beautiful their courage currencies
how beautiful they're taking action without being ready is how beautiful
Their enthusiasm is in there and you know the big one. Their curiosity.
I actually enjoy not being completely ready, but I work on being prepared all that stuff
but once I make a decision on All- and I really do believe and we ve
heard this before, but I'm kind of proof of it a fly
plan executed with ferocity and certainty certainty.
is far greater than the perfect
and executed too late and with timidity
so I'm always executing kind of flawed plants and I'll call.
Correct. As I go, nothing is always the way in the beginning. There is in the middle, there is in the end, but we
Let's get started. I can teach you to drive a parked car,
it's so many of you and I love you are trying to
dear through your life in a park vehicle? You must get it moving. The man forward, progress,
Massive action with certainty is a killer of obstacles and so
it going make the decision call the shot right. I just as you go it'll be. Ok, have some curiosity be more like your children and one thing I'd say to everybody about this, and this is a hard thing to accept
I really believe in some,
people use their children as an excuse not to take action or
to take risks or not to go for their dreams.
And I will tell you if you got here- you know this. If you go watch your children at their Christmas recital or
ball game are up or up a ballet recital? U go! Watch
there's fifty children there who do you see.
You see your little one
yeah well you're world and
know what that's like everywhere you go. If you walk into the classroom, you see yours, don't you you see yours and guess who your children see you ready galaxy.
They got one mama one.
In their view of the world of what their capable of and how they,
Happiness level in the joy in the past,
in that they see, you don't see a new shapes their thermostat setting,
shapes their identity,
your children right now. They love you
their proud of you because you're their mama, but they're gonna get to an age where they figure out. Who you really are just like. You did with your mother and your father.
and it's not good enough to say
sweetheart, you can be anything. You want to be
Why aren't you mom?
Why aren't you Mamma? You? Can you can
we, the president, you could start a business, you can. You can do anything you want. Will why aren't you mom.
And they see this in you. They will know what your children want for you just like you want for them, but accept.
even more because their whole view of what possible- and why is through the prism.
Of your life,
your children. What you to be happy,
they want you to be happy your mama. They want to
enjoy and laughed
and happiness and love from
you and through you and it's not
just the love you give them, they want to see that you feel loved. They want their mama happy
They want at peace
They want become growing
we want her many they want.
Increasing they want
they only have one mama or one daddy and it's you
because of that, it's not good enough just to love them. It's not. You
become the best version of you possible so that their thermostat setting changes because of the example you set
And I know it's a hard thing to say and I
debated whether to share that with everybody today. But I want to,
big for your children, not that I do
but you know damn well. What I just said is true:
of what Mamma be happier,
you're more joyful.
and the more you like them, the more joyful unhappy. I think you would be absolutely
thou and by the way I feel it I was over here like I have a really hard time when you're on, when I'm interview you to not be like yes preach, because that's how I am you say interacting with you.
so powerful the- and I know that so many. I am positive- that people are gonna, listen to this, which years running down their face, because they know that it's true, because
and whatever that looks like for you, whatever that version
more. As you know, we are the king and queen of you pursue what makes sense
You and your family, and maybe for you, that's building
pyre, maybe for someone else, that's you're gonna be the most incredible stay at home.
the world has ever known but
Can I say something about that worries about the earth and that's important, because
when I say the best version of you
there are some of you who the best version of you you're in a year.
workplace right now and
in your heart, you'd be happier if the conditions of actually presented themselves to behold.
If somebody that are home
The conditions were perfect, you'd be doing so.
outside of battle it. So it's not
career or money. It's your version of bliss, whatever
You happy life on your terms,
funny. I interviewed Jessica Mendoza and
she was actually has asked in interviews all the time. So how do you balance your career in your children? You know
luckily didn't ask for that? Cuz she's, a good friend of mine and she said to me she was add. You know
Men never get asked that yeah. Why,
why doesn't women get asked that right Elvis?
There's like this notation, sometimes for women it.
either or its. What makes you happy
you, the number one thing that makes me the most happy as I now work from my home, so I sort of hybrid it
stay at home that yeah
but I am a work at home. Dad and now I found was my groove point. I was in a career. I was gone all the time like maybe some of the Ladys listening this and my heart was calling me if I could get my finances, the other. I need to be home more side. I found a work from home career, it could be
sclusively working in the home that year.
Because that's Christiana spoke is my wife. My wife works in our home constantly
in an unbelievable way.
it's ok, whatever it is, but your children want to see you in your group
you in your mood, you happy on your terms,
does it have to be a career doesnt to be president, with only one allows like that
The president of your own life is the boy. So one of my favorite things that you say- and you said it many times, and I love it. If you would share with the audience, is the idea of when you get to the end of your life, you you get to Heaven and got introduced,
you tell a man, you could have been. Yes, my whole deal, so
This one gets me emotional. Lately more and more, just as I get older and my children get older. I've only got my son
will we have seen your next year? Just you stick about my dad.
Cancer right now you know, he's sick, and so I think about this with the
of my life-
is it I believe it started. What my son at TV, the quick version, my son and I gotta this car wash all the time on after church on Sundays
Can there be this man there, every Sunday, nice man, and he would
Read the newspaper
still say hello, and for one sunday I didn't mean to be snide back to him, but I was he goes, hey how old your son, I said he six any.
at will enjoy the six year old because when he turned seven, the six year olds gone forever and his parents, we all know that's true
and he doesn't believe me when he turns eight, the seven year old versions gone forever and that's true,
and I said back to him. I didn't meanness rudely. I said, Sir wended, that process stop for you.
Any disorder looked at me and I go, I mean like at what age did you stop replacing yourself with the new version, and he looked at me cut it
his head- and he goes- I don't know, but it did.
and I said you should evaluate that that's life we're supposed
constantly be replacing the former version of ourselves.
and it got me to thinking. I had a heart
tat when I was thirty and I
That was it wasn't luckily and
You know my dream of my life is that when I die, I hope the Lord's as well done good and faithful servant, but I have this kind of really strong belief that guides my life. We
is that when I am gone, he's gonna introduce me to the man I was born to be,
destiny version of me, the one he made in his image in likeness the one that I
Capable of becoming coming and to say, add, Meet TED,
and tat my identical twins, the ultimate possible version of my like TED, helped. All the people travel the world had the memories had the moments did
things with his children made the contributions felt about himself away wanted to did all
The things on earth he was born to do is tat. My dream is that when I meet that ultimate version of me were identical twins,
and tat this man
I've been watching you all my life, I'm proud of you, you did it all brother and I'd say man of chasing you. All my life, TED and he'll say
you caught me me her
is that when I am gone, I meet that person. I was destined in born to be the one I'm capable of them were identical, twins hell
we'd, be we need each other and we're total strangers.
And I don't want to die, having
become the man I could have been
in all of those areas,
and I don't want any of the ladys of the men listening to this to happen
life go by and not become that woman. She could have become that club.
its strong, powerful, peaceful, happy version of her. Whatever that looks like
and so for me most of the decisions I make my life honestly, I'm pretty good at this. Not great he's like this.
this decision, this action move me closer to being TED.
closer to the ultimate version of me or further away,
And I do most of the things like today being with you, and this amazing group of people
The alike moves me closer to being the man I was born to be, and that's why I feel so good to be doing it, and I know in my heart, when I'm doing things that adopt
they out. I know I'm going down the wrong road this
put me closer to that man, it makes me further away.
And that sort of my government is sort of the governor and barometer that I try to make decisions through so
my god, everyone, ladies and gentlemen, and my lad, and now the thing is: if people than already know who you were which fills impossible. But if
listeners in already know who you were they now understand,
and why I love you so much. I am so grateful for the raw
they play in my life and, if
you are not like. I'm positive, you almost got fired up. Your hearts are full. There are
so many episodes of the add my show anyway-
you can get upon CAS that you are gonna, go bench. Listen to now
are gonna write your hearts on fire. Thank you. Thank you. So much for the time, I'm so
stinking grateful that everyone got here your wisdom today- and I know that so many people are touched by the message- was safer.
rage. Thank you. So much.
Ladies and gentlemen, did I mentioned I have a book coming out. Here's the thing. It's called get out of your own way, sceptics guide to growth and fulfilment and we're
the priest cell window of windows. I am super excited about having written a book for both men and women about
Twenty lies that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written this
the perspective of some one. That is
totally different from Rachel Hollis. Even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the
respect for someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even
Castro listening to for ever and ever its through
at lands that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way, and I
bank in uncovering the truth behind those lies not only
help me get out of my own way. It I'll help you get out of Europe's. There are two ways I want to say thank you for preparing this book
I've created in the course of course, yes and III, a sixty minutes each course called finding your. Why it's a phantom-
stick resource, it's available absolutely for
right now for having pure the book and
if you go to get out of your own way. The book that calm right now and follow the problems not only we get
as you can hear the first thirty minutes of the book again get out of
Conway comes out March. Tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.